Gore-Tex Vortex

, , , , , , | Right | August 14, 2018

(A customer storms in with a pair of boots and slams them down on the counter.)

Customer #1: “Feet wet, boots Gore-Tex, money back, NOW!”

Me: *looking the boots over* “How long have you had them?”

Customer #1: “A year, but that doesn’t matter… Money back, NOW!”

Me: “Actually, it does.”

(I ask him to follow me to the footwear wall where all our boots are displayed, and I begin explaining to him that Gore-Tex is a one-way valve material in between layers of the footwear. It allows your perspiration to escape in the form of water vapor, but Gore-Tex is not what keeps the outer materials dry. That is a repellent called DWR, and it needs to be renewed at least once a year.)

Customer #1: “You have no idea what you’re talking about, and if you don’t give me my money back right now, I’ll have no choice but to talk with your manager.”

(Just then, another customer looking at footwear chimes in. He is older, with grey hair and glasses.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me. I don’t mean to interrupt… but he’s absolutely spot on with his simplified definition.”

Customer #1: “This isn’t any of your business!”

Customer #2: “Actually, it is. You see… I am one of the scientists who originally developed Gore-Tex. Perhaps you should listen to this gentleman; you might learn how to take care of your boots properly.”

Customer #1: “When I bought these boots, no one told me I had to maintain them.”

Me: “That may be so, and if it is, you have my apologies. Other than the DWR having worn off the outer of the boots, it looks like they still have plenty of life in them.”

(I hand him a can of water repellent from the shelf.)

Me: “By the way, I am the manager… and this one’s on me.”

Unfiltered Story #116496

, , | Unfiltered | July 17, 2018

(I work at a CVS in Philly, and at about 8:30 pm a girl who is about 13 and her mom comes in.)

Mom: Ok, you go get your stuff and i’ll go get mine.

the little girl rushes off to the nail polish section while her mom goes in the laundry detergent isle. they both come back 10 minutes later with full hands.

Me: Would you like a cart?

Mom: yes, please!

I go grab her a cart and her and her daughter stuff their stuff inside the cart. they go to the self-pay machiene and the girl starts loading her items. once her items have been loaded she pulls out $30 from her pocket and gives it to her mother. when the transaction was finished her total came to about $210. However, she had a coupon that saved her 25% off her purchase. she put the coupon in and it wouldn’t go through.

Mom: Excuse me? something’s wrong with this thing. it wont take my card.

Me: Ok, ill get this for you…… there we go! it should work now. any more problems just let me know.

Mom: thank you so much!

(the mom goes to her wallet to grab her credit card and a look of horror appears on her face. she frantically searches through her wallet and she looks at her daughter.)

Mom: S***, I think we left the card in (popular resturaunt name). we have to go get it.

(she calls the place and they tell her they have her card)

Mom: *looking over to me* Excuse me! Sir! Come Here!

Me: What seems to be the problem?

Mom: I left my credit card in a store nearby and my daughter and I need to go get it. Do you think you could watch our bags for us please?

Me: of course.

Mom: ok, thank you so much!

(she then proceeds to grab her daughter’s hand and run out the door to her car and drive away. they come back 5 minutes later, the daughter out of breath, and the mom tired. They pay for their purchase, thank me again, and just as they were about to leave, the girl comes up to me and holds out $3 that are crinkled up tromendusly.)

Girl: Um, I know it’s not much, but,um, for all your um, help, I’d like to give these to you.

Me: Thank you so much! however, i’m not allowed to take these since my boss might get mad at me.

Girl: oh, uh, that’s uh, okay.

(the girl’s face is as red as a tomato and I felt bad. Even though i declined her offer, it made my day. I hope her and her mother come back again!)

It’s An Independent Production

, , , , , , | Related | July 4, 2018

(My sister and I both love the musical “1776,” so when we take a family trip to Philadelphia, we immediately declare we’re going to sing “But Mr. Adams” in Independence Hall. Our mother puts her foot down, saying she doesn’t want to bring bail money. However, when we go to Independence Hall, we see the area where “But Mr. Adams” was set…)

Me: *under my breath* “Mr. Adams, I say you should write it. To your legal mind and brilliance we defer.”

Sister: *under her breath* “Is that so? Well, if I’m the one to do it, they’ll run their quill pens through it. I’m obnoxious and disliked; you know that, sir. But I say you should write it, Franklin. Yes, you. You–”

Me: “But—”

Sister: “You–”

Me: “But–”

Sister: “You–”

Me: “Buuuuut–”

(At this point, we throw caution to the wind, and proceed to belt “But Mr. Adams” at the top of our lungs while reenacting as much choreography as we can. By the time we end, our dad looks bemused, our mother is face-palming, and a tour guide looks impressed.)

Guide: “You know, I think that’s the first time anyone’s known the whole song. Most people just hum a few bars and call it good.”

But We Did Just Get A Shipment Of Sunshine And Lollipops

, , , , , | | Right | June 4, 2018

(I work in a crafting store. It’s almost closing time. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. My name is [My Name]; how may I direct your call?”

Customer: “I am looking for rainbows and unicorns.”

Me: “Are you looking for stickers or other scrapbook supplies?

Customer: “No, rainbows like the ones that are in the clouds.” *I hear some laughing in the background and realise I am being pranked* “I called yesterday and [Common Name] said there was a shipment today with them.”

Me: “Maybe you should try [Other Craft Store]. We don’t carry those items. Plus, there is no one that works here with that name, and I personally unpack shipments Thursday morning, not today.”

(The caller hangs up and I get a call back ten minutes later.)

Customer: “I would like some rainbows and unicorns; the lady I called earlier said they came in.”

Me: “Miss, we don’t sell live animals or rainbows.” *again, children laughing*

Customer: “I demand the manager.”

(I transferred the call. The manager picked up the line and the caller asked for stickers instead of mythical livestock. When he asked for a name to put the stickers on hold, the girl hung up. We still don’t know what they wanted.)

Unfiltered Story #109707

, , | Unfiltered | May 7, 2018

(It has been a long day as a cashier. A customer gets into my line and I turn my light off, indicating this will be my last customer for today.  As I was finishing up his transaction, a woman comes up with an armful of items.)
Me: Oh, excuse me ma’am, I’m closed. But if you like, you can go down to register 8, they have no line.
Woman: What?? I only have a few items! This is ridiculous!
(She walks off in a huff to go stand in line at another register even though #8 was completely open.  My customer turns to me.)
Man: When you’re closed, you’re closed. I can’t believe people are so awful like that.  Have a good night!
(I smiled. Thanks for understanding my pain!)

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