Taco’ Bout Crazy

, , , , , | Working | July 2, 2020

When I am a teen, I am walking down the street, enjoying the summer sun, and sipping from a Gatorade bottle that I brought from my house. Set up in a parking lot along the street is a taco truck. I haven’t come within fifty feet of the truck.

A vendor leans out of the side of the truck and points at me.

Vendor: “Hey! Hey, you need to pay for that!”

Me: “Huh?”

Vendor: “You need to pay for that bottle!”

I shook my head at this and kept walking, but the guy actually climbed out of the truck and started chasing me. I ended up booking it down the street and outpacing him, but it was still one of the scariest events of my life at that point, and I ended up avoiding that stretch of street for a couple of years afterward.

1 Thumbs
326

They’re Not Exactly Gagging For Your Business

, , , , , , , | Working | October 16, 2019

(My friends and I have been to a nightclub in the city, and instead of getting the train, I offer to drive everyone. I am stone-cold sober as I don’t like to drink alcohol; I don’t like the taste. We exit the club and see a food truck on the curb. All of my friends are a bit too drunk to want food, but I go over and join the queue. There are a few people in front of me, and finally the queue thins and it’s just me and a man that is so drunk that he can’t stand. At one point, he hunches over and gags but luckily isn’t sick.)

Server: “Anyone not had their order taken yet?”

(The drunk man in front of me ignores him and continues to gag.)

Server: “Anyone?”

(This goes on for two minutes and in the end, I roll my eyes and step forward to order. The second I open my mouth…)

Server: “Get back in line! That man was in front of you.”

(I shrugged and decided to walk away, because I had already been in the queue for ten minutes and it didn’t look like I was going to get any food any time soon. The second I stepped out of line, the man vomited over the curb and up the side of the truck.)

1 Thumbs
407

The New Dairy Queen

| Right | February 16, 2015

(When I was 15 years old, a family friend had started an ice cream truck business. He needed someone to drive and someone to hand out ice cream and handle the money: two people per truck, and there were five trucks. Naturally, hunting for money, I volunteer to work the money and ice cream part. It is towards the end of the summer, and I know the ropes by then. Parents often stand on the sidewalk and give the children the money, letting them order. My customer is about five years of age.)

Me: “What can I get for you, sir?”

Customer: *giggling* “I want ice cream.”

Me: “What kind of ice cream?”

Customer: “I can’t tell you that!”

Me: “Then how will you get your ice cream? I am the ice cream queen! I control all of the ice cream in this mighty vessel.”

Customer: “I need to talk to the Ice Cream MAN to get my ice cream, not the Ice cream QUEEN! I need a BOY! I need a BOY!”

(As this was not what I had prepared for, I quickly nodded, and ducked below the counter, and got a marker, drew a mustache, and sat up and spoke in a low voice.)

Me: “Her Majesty is a new worker. What can I get for you?”

Customer: *looking relieved* “Ice cream man! I want….that one!” *points to ice cream on the board*

(And all was well… besides the mustache I had for the next week. Thank you PERMANENT marker, you did your job. Parents, everywhere, tell your children of the Ice Cream Queen. Save a teenage girl’s face from fake facial hair!)

1 Thumbs
2,203

The Question Is Largely Irregular

, | Right | February 10, 2015

(We run a mobile coffee van. When we go to the markets we have a sign with the prices and types of coffee that you can get. On the sign we have R $4.50, for regular size, and L $5.50 for large size.)

Customer: “What’s the difference between left-handed and right-handed coffee?”

1 Thumbs
976