Great stories from our entire backlog!

What The World Needs Now…

| Right | May 7, 2014

(I work at an ice cream/burger joint with a drive thru. A mother comes through with a little girl in the back seat, I have just handed the mother her order when she pulls the car up a bit so I can directly hand the little girl her ice cream.)

Me: “And here is your sundae!”

Mother: “What do you say to the nice lady?”

Little Girl: “I love you!”

Me: *embarrassed and confused* “I love you, too.”

(The mother laughs really hard while the little girl grins at me. My coworkers heard and laughed, too. She was the cutest little girl ever!)

1 Thumbs
2,653

Translation: Stupid

, , , , | Right | November 3, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, why won’t my card work on the pump?”

Me: “Is it an American card?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “American cards don’t work at the pump.”

Customer: “You should put up a sign or something.”

Me: “Actually, there are several right above the card slot.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t read Canadian…”

1 Thumbs
3,722

A Welcome Change

| Right | July 29, 2014

(I’ve been a nurse for a long time. There have been a few patients over the years that think nurses are slaves and never say please or thank you.)

Patient: “Turn the TV on.”

Me: *turns TV on*

Patient: “Get me a glass of water!”

Me: *hands him a glass of water*

Patient’s Relative: “Pass the tissues over.”

Me: *passes the box of tissue over to the relative*

(This had been going on all day with never a please or thank you. I have had enough so I say:)

Me: “You’re welcome!”

Patient: “Pardon. What was that?”

Me: *acting surprised* “I said ‘you’re welcome.’ I thought I heard you say ‘thank you.’ My mistake. Sorry.”

(The manners improved substantially after that! I’ve only had to say it three or four times in 30 years, but it’s always worked!)

1 Thumbs
2,937

Incorrect Al-leg-gations

, , , | Working | October 5, 2012

(One day while my friend is shopping, he parks in a spot specifically reserved for handicapped drivers. A parking inspector sees this and confronts him.)

Inspector: “Excuse me, sir, you can’t park here.”

My Friend: “Yes, I can. I’ve got a disability sticker.”

(My friend points to sticker that is clearly visible on the windshield of his car.)

Inspector: “Yeah, right! I bet that’s not even your sticker!”

My Friend: “Here’s my Driver’s Licence. It’s got the same name as the name on the sticker.”

Inspector: “Bull***t! Clearly, you’re just faking a disability to get a good parking spot.”

My Friend: *removes his left prosthetic leg and hands it to the inspector*

Inspector: *gasps and runs away*

1 Thumbs
2,493

Refunder Blunder, Part 7

| Right | August 5, 2014

(Customers are able to purchase items through an affiliated online sales channel, which has its own customer service department. Stores really do not have a lot of information regarding these orders, but customers usually come here first when there’s a problem. This customer calls on a Saturday.)

Caller: “Yeah, I just got an email saying my order’s been cancelled. How do I get my money back?”

Me: “Well, your refund will be processed however you paid for it, so it will go onto your payment card automatically.”

Caller: “How much will I get back?”

Me: “I’m not sure; I’d have to pull up your order details.”

(I can basically see what they ordered, what they paid, and their order status, that’s it.)

Caller: “Can I just get cash back? I don’t want to wait a month for it to process.”

Me: “Well, it will only take a couple of business days…”

Caller: “So, how much am I getting back? Why is this taking so long?”

Me: “Well, let’s see. You paid about $5—”

Caller: “But I paid shipping! If I’m not being shipped anything, I shouldn’t be charged shipping!”

Me: “Yes, that’s true. You will be refunded the shipping—”

Caller: “Then how much am I getting back? And when will I be getting it? God! Why are you taking so long with this?”

Me: “Well, this was an online order. You’d really have better luck talking to online customer service.”

Caller: “What’s their number?”

Me: “Let me just pull that up for you—”

Caller: “I’m not wasting another minute on this. Call me back next month when you’ve finally found it.” *rattles off phone number and hangs up on me*

(Despite the shock of her rudeness, I pull up the online customer service number and proceed to call her back maybe 30 seconds later.)

Me: “Hi, I’ve got that customer service number for you—”

Caller: “About time. Give it to me.”

(I give her the number and she hangs up on me again.)

Me: “Well, that was fun.”

Coworker: “Isn’t online customer service closed on weekends?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

(And I would have warned her of that if she hadn’t hung up on me again. I guessed she had fun figuring that out for herself.)

 

1 Thumbs
1,344