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Great stories from our entire backlog!

Gloss Over The Facts

| Right | October 19, 2013

(I’m on a phone with a customer. I’ve just finished going through all the print sizes, finishes, and prices.)

Customer: “I’m going to send some 8x10s through the internet; how much will they be?”

Me: “They are $3.99.”

Customer: “What finish are your 8×10 prints?”

Me: “They are glossy.”

Customer: “But I need a matte finish.”

Me: “The machine that prints 8x10s can print a glossy finish. You can always go to [location]; they only have the matte finish.”

Customer: “But I want to order them here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our machine is unable to print matte photos.”

Customer: “Can you try?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that machine only prints a glossy finish.”

Customer: “Yes, but can you try?”

Me: “We do not have the ability to print photos with a matte finish. We can only make glossy prints.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t try! You w****!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the w**** who runs the machine is unwilling to talk in circles. Good day!” *click*

An Eye-Catching Lesson

| Right | December 2, 2014

(I was born with congenital glaucoma, a condition that causes blindness if left untreated. As such, I went through several surgeries as a child and have mostly corrected vision with glasses, although one eye is still a little damaged. Because of these surgeries, my eyes are extremely unique-looking and sometimes startle people – some of them do make comments, but they’re mostly harmless and more curious than anything else. I’ve lived with this disease all my life, so I’m very open and frequently joke about it, but I still get very sensitive when people try to put me on the spot or harass me about it. On this particular day, a customer comes up and places a box of shoes on my register.)

Me: “Good morning, sir. How are you today?”

Customer: “Just fine. And yourself?”

Me: “Doing great.”

(It’s company policy to check shoe sizes and styles to make sure the customer leaves with a matching pair. Because of my condition, I’m extremely near-sighted without my glasses, which is perfect for reading the small tags on shoes.)

Me: *takes off glasses and begins checking shoes*

Customer: *laughs* “You either eat more carrots or put your glasses back on.”

(Normally, I’m fine with joking about my eyesight, but I get very sensitive when people make fun of it.)

Me: *continues checking shoes* “Sir, glaucoma chose me, not the other way around.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(I looked up in time to see the blood drain from the man’s face and his expression turn sheepish. He apologized profusely, which I accepted, and left quietly. I smiled on the inside, knowing that I’ve taught someone a small lesson about judging someone with glasses.)

Phone-y Claim

| Right | February 7, 2013

(A young couple known for having drug problems regularly hangs out at our store. One day, the girl is so high she trips over her own feet and falls outside our door. Her boyfriend makes a huge fuss and claim we have to pay for it because she ruined it at our property. We check with our main office and discover we have no legal duty to pay her. A few weeks pass before they show up at our store again.)

Me: “Welcome to [store], how can I help you?”

Girl: “Don’t you remember me? I fell outside of here. It’s your store’s fault because the ground was uneven. That’s dangerous.”

(The ground outside was fine, and had been when she fell, but I didn’t want to argue.)

Me: “Oh, yes, I remember that, I hope you feel better from that fall.”

Girl: “Well, my phone got broken.”

Me: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

Girl: “It’s your store’s fault it got broken. You should pay up so I can buy a new one.”

Me: “How is it broken?”

Girl: “The screen is broken and nothing works. I can’t read messages or take calls or anything. It’s just ruined.”

Me: “Well, here’s the address to the main office, you can mail them and make your claim.”

Girl: “No. I need the cash.”

Me: “I can’t give out cash for a broken phone I haven’t seen, for a price I don’t even know is legit.”

(The girl grumbles and cusses for a while, but agrees to write up a claim to send. Meanwhile, her phone starts to ring and she answers it, talking to her boyfriend.)

Me: “Was that the ruined phone?”

Girl: “Yes, look at that crack!”

(She shows me a small hairline crack at the side, but it’s otherwise functioning properly.)

Me: “You said it couldn’t even make phone calls.”

Girl: *turns a pale and walks out without a word*

(Thankfully, we never saw her again.)

Better Safe Than Smart

, , , | Right | February 16, 2009

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “It’s a neoprene laptop case.”

Customer: “For what?”

Me: “It’s just a more snug case for your laptop.”

Customer: “For what?”

Me: “It’s just to protect your laptop if it’s put in a bag or briefcase.”

Customer: “You mean, to protect all of my other stuff?”

Me: “Well, yes, to protect all your other stuff from damaging your laptop.”

Customer: “No. Will this case protect my computer from damaging all my stuff?”

Me: “It is padded…”

Customer: “Good, because it’s cheaper than the anti-virus software.”

Me: *gives up* “…it will definitely protect the things in your backpack from getting viruses.”

It’s Not Policy To Keep Our Workers Alive

, , , , , , , | Working | January 31, 2018

(A major highway leads to the mall where I am store manager. I’m driving to the store in the morning during a freezing cold and icy day, when all local schools have been cancelled. Normally, I plan to be at the store a half-hour before my employees. This day, my GPS tells me that the entire highway is blocked off ahead of me due to an accident. I quickly reroute to go around the blocked highway, but spy thousands of cars stuck in standstill traffic across four lanes. I then find myself navigating slippery back roads, passing cars that have slid off onto the shoulder. Traffic is slow or stopped along the back roads, too, as commuters avoiding the highway overwhelm the smaller streets. Finally, I get to the store, a half-hour later than anticipated, and find that two employees have arrived before me out of my opening staff of 19. I send one of my employees a few doors down to a doughnut shop for two dozen doughnuts and a large box of hot chocolate. Then, as employees arrive, I assure each of them that I will be overriding their late clock-in, and I sweeten the deal with coffee and donuts to calm frayed nerves. We manage to get the store open ten minutes before our first customer arrives, and all my employees are in great moods despite the miserable morning. It seems fine… until corporate calls.)

Corporate: “You had a seventeen people come in late, and you overrode every single one. Explain yourself!”

Me: “We had dangerous driving conditions.”

Corporate: “And?”

Me: “And I was later than I anticipated, as well.”

Corporate: “And?”

Me: “And I bought them all breakfast.”

Corporate: “What?!”

Me: “Look: I want my people to know that they should be safe. Their lives are more important than being on time.”

Corporate: “Well, that’s not corporate policy!”