Didn’t Bank On That Ending

| Eugene, OR, USA | Right | November 11, 2013

(It’s a particularly busy day in our bank, and I’m working the drive through window. I have a long line of cars waiting, when I hear a customer in line start shouting across the lobby at the other tellers in front.)

Customer: “Look, I’m on my work break here! Can’t you go any faster?”

Coworker: “We’re moving as fast as we can, ma’am. We’re a bit short-staffed today, but we’ll be with you as soon as possible.”

Customer: “But I’m on my BREAK! I have to get back to work.”

Coworker: *still running another customer’s transaction* “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

Customer: “Well, what about her? Can’t she help me? I’m in a hurry!”

(I suddenly realize that she’s referring to me, while I’m in the middle of my fifth car in a row.)

Manager: “Ma’am, she’s currently assisting customers in our drive through. If she becomes available, she will come to the front to help whoever she can.”

Customer: “Well, I would have driven through myself if I knew it would take this long!”

(I continue to help cars, and after finishing the last transaction, I go to the front to help. I get the shouting customer.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, this deposit slip is for [Competing Bank].”

(The customer turns BRIGHT RED and rushes out so fast you’d think she just robbed the place.)

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Made A Good Call

| NY, USA | Working | August 12, 2014

(I have been on the phone for about 45 minutes with a customer that is very upset.)

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, that the store did not check to make sure [Product] would work in your area. I can look into it and see why not.”

Customer: “You know that it was [Store] that sold it to me. Is there any way you can contact them?

Me: “Ma’am, I can give them a call and if you wish I can call you back afterwards.”

Customer: “That would be great. Talk to you in a few minutes.” *click*

(I am about to call the other store when my coworker, who has been listening in, interjects:)

Coworker: “You’re not allowed to call the stores, you know.”

Me: “What? I have done it before.”

Coworker: “Nope, it’s not allowed.”

Me: “Well, I guess I’m in trouble then; I have done it every time a customer says something happened at a store.” *picks up phone to make call*

Coworker: “If you call I’m going to report you to the manager.”

Me: “Go for it.”

(I then call the store and inquire why they did not check to make sure the product did not work. It seems it was a trainee that had filled the order and failed to see that they needed to make sure there was even coverage before completing the order. I hang up just as my coworker and manager come over.)

Coworker: “Go ahead and tell [Manager] what you told the customer.”

Me: “That I would be giving her a call back after I called the store to find out why they sold her a product without checking the coverage.”

Manager: “Have you called the store?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Manager: “Good. After you call the customer back take an extra 15-minute break.”

(She then walked back to her desk. After work she said I was one of the most dedicated employees she had. Made my day.)

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Caution: Wet Weather May Be Wet

| Avondale, AZ, USA | Right | January 6, 2012

(I work as a cashier at a well-known arts and crafts store. This particular day, it is raining very heavily, which is rare in Arizona.)

Customer: *walking over to myself and other cashier* “Excuse me, it is wet outside. I almost slipped.”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. Are you okay?”

Customer: “Yes, but you need to put a wet floor sign outside so people are aware that it is wet.”

Coworker: “It’s raining, ma’am. I think people know the ground will be wet.”

Customer: “No, they won’t! Because I didn’t!” *storms out the store*

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An Unexpected Finale

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Working | January 16, 2013

Coworker: “So you saw The Hobbit last night?”

Me: “Yes, and I enjoyed it.”

Coworker: “Wait, don’t give any spoilers!”

Me: “Hadn’t planned on it. Though the scenery looked great on the high frames 3D setting.”

Coworker: “Did it end at a good spot? Wait, don’t tell me the story!”

Me: “He picked a good spot for the transition.”

Coworker: “That’s what I wanted to hear, but don’t tell me any spoilers!”

Me: “The butler did it.”

Coworker: “Wait! No! Not listening! Wait… what?”

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Morpheus, Tarantino, And The Green Lantern Walk Into A Bar

| Newcastle, NSW, Australia | Right | February 20, 2013

(It’s a slow day and there haven’t been many customers come through. Around lunch time two teenagers, a girl and a boy come into the store and start browsing through the boxes of comic books. I overhear snippets of their conversation; the boy seems to have no idea of anything that he is seeing, while the girl does. They stop in front of a large poster commemorating 20 years of Sandman comics. The boy reads from a list one character is holding.)

Boy: “Death… Despair… Morpheus!” *to the girl* “Help me find Morpheus!”

Girl: “Who?”

Boy: “Morpheus! You know big dude from the Matrix series?”

Girl: “I know, but you do realise he won’t be there, right?”

Boy: “His name is on the list. And this is a comic book store, he should be on there!”

Girl: “Dude, really? The poster says that it’s from the Sandman series. Why do you expect a guy from The Matrix to be there? Morpheus was a god of the realm of sleep and dreams, and if you look at the other names on that list they seem pretty god-like. There isn’t a big black dude on that poster and if I were to hazard a guess, he would be Morpheus.” *points to a figure on the poster* “You’re a bit embarrassing.”

(She moves away to look at the collectible figurines from movies and television shows while he continues to puzzle over the poster. He eventually comes over and accidentally knocks some of the toys off of the shelf. She cringes while he’s picking them back up.)

Girl: Oh hey, that’s a Kill Bill action figure!”

Boy: “What’s Kill Bill?”

Girl: “Are you kidding? Kill Bill is probably one of the best films Tarantino has made!”

(They move to leave, when the girl comes over and looks at the box of badges on the counter. The boy grabs her by the elbow and pulls her out of the store.)

Girl: “But.. but… the Lantern Corps insignias were on those! Beware my power, Green Lantern’s LIGHT!”

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