Great stories from our entire backlog!

Armed With Qualifications

| Working | September 1, 2013

(A very attractive, well dressed young woman comes up to my desk.)

Client: “I’m applying for jobs in retail and finance, but I’m not even getting interviews. I’ve got the qualifications they’re wanting, so I can’t understand it. Do you think the fact I got them in prison might be a problem?”

Me: *as neutrally as I can* “Well, some employers can be a bit sticky about things like that. I suppose it would depend why you were inside.”

Client: *brightly* “Armed robbery!”

Me: “It’s possible…”

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These Sales Guys Are A Non-Starter

| Working | May 20, 2013

(I’m a female in my twenties. After having my car break down for the fourth time in the first year of owning it, I’m shopping for a replacement. I’ve done a great deal of research, and have narrowed it down to a few models. This is what happens at the first dealership I go to.)

Me: “Um, hello?”

Sales Guy: “Yeah?”

Me: “I’d like to look at that 626 you have in your lot.”

Sales Guy: “So go look at it.”

Me: “Okay, when I say look at it, I mean I’d like to test drive it.”

Sales Guy: *laughs* “I think that would be a waste of time.”

Me: “I beg your pardon? Why is that?”

Sales Guy: “Well, because you clearly aren’t going to buy a car.”

Me: “…Well, not from you, not from here, not anymore. Guess this explains why I’m the only customer in here. Bye.”

(Now this is what happens at the second dealership I go to.)

Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Hi there! What can we find for you today?”

Me: “I’m looking for a used Legacy or Impreza. Do you have either of those models?”

Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Oh! Hey, sorry, I don’t think we do… not used. Let me show you this new [completely different make and model], though!”

Me: “Ah, no, I’m sorry. I want a used car that’s affordable and has a proven consumer report record. I did a lot of homework on this, and I’m looking for a select few models. I have a list here.”

Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Okay! Well, let’s go look around the used lot and see if anything there strikes your fancy.”

(We look through the lot, but none of the cars I want are on it. I let him know that I don’t want to waste his time if there’s nothing from my list available.)

Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Well, are you sure? This car is very pretty.”

Me: “No, thanks. My last car was pretty. Didn’t keep it from being a lemon.”

Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “Well, hey, so what would it take to get you into a car today?”

Me: “Having a car I wanted to buy would be a good start.”

Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “But this car is so pretty!”

Me: “No. I’m not looking for pretty.”

Enthusiastic Sales Guy: “You should be!”

Me: “I’m leaving now.”

(It took two weeks, but I finally found a dealership that had what I wanted and didn’t talk down to me. My car has lasted me eight years with very few problems.)

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Service With A Smile

| Right | May 7, 2013

(My coworker, who is fairly new, has just finished helping a customer. The customer is approaching the counter again, and we assume for a moment that my coworker has made a mistake.)

Manager: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Oh, no!”

(The customer turns to the co-worker.)

Customer: “Can I just tell you that you did really nicely? You looked at me! You looked me in the eye, and you smiled! You were friendly. There is nothing more impersonal that staring down at the counter making the sandwich, then staring down at the change, and paying so little attention that it could have been a flea walking through that door. So I just wanted to let you know that you did that very nicely. Thank you for that.”

(I was smiling the whole way home that day! Not a lot of customers go to the trouble of coming back to tell an employee that they’ve done something well, especially something as simple as a smile and eye contact. If that customer happens to be reading this, thank you for making my day! You made my coworker’s day, too!)

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Fun With Photons

, | Right | October 29, 2009

Me: “Hi, sir, was there anything I could help you find today?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering something. Why do all these glasses have the same white circles on the lenses? It’s really unstylish. I’m surprised people like this store!”

Me: “Sir, that’s the reflection of the light on the glasses.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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There… Are… Four… Pumps!

| Right | July 2, 2013

(One of my regulars comes in.)

Regular: “$20 on pump five.”

Me: “We don’t have a pump five. We only have four pumps.”

Regular: “Yes you do. I’m on the white car.”

(I look out the window to see what pump she’s on, and I am surprised to see four white cars.)

Me: “Which white car one is yours, ma’am?”

Regular: “The white one!”

Me: “Ma’am, all the cars on the pumps are white; what make is yours?”

Regular: “THE WHITE ONE! Just put $20 on five so I can go!”

Me: “We still don’t have a pump five, and I’m trying to find out what car is yours, seeing as no one else is in here to tell me what one isn’t theirs.”

Regular: “It is your job to know exactly what car is mine! I have no reason to tell you what car is mine; just put my gas on pump five so I can get out of here.”

Me: “Okay, fine, I will put $20 on pump five.”

Regular: “Now was that so hard?”

(The customer leaves, and I sit and wait for her to return to complain that her gas isn’t pumping. Seeing as I should know her car, and have explained that we don’t have a pump five, I don’t put the money in when she picks up the handle for pump four.)

Regular: “Why isn’t my gas pumping on pump four?”

Me: “I put it on pump five, like you asked.”


Me: “Ma’am, I have over 100 regulars who come into this store. If I memorized every one of their cars, I wouldn’t have to room for anything else. Next time you are in, remember we don’t have a pump five, and we are not required to know what car you drive. I’m just here to take money and push buttons.”

Regular: “Useless… just useless! I’m late for work because of you! My job is more important!”

Me: “Oh goody! Where do you work?”

Regular: “At [local fast food restaurant].”

Me: “Well, okay then. If you hadn’t actually been fighting with me, and simply explained that you were on the back pump closest to the fence, you’d be on your way to your job. Have a nice day!”

Regular: “I’m never shopping here again!”

Me: “See you next week.”

(I did.)

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