I work in a small-town post office, and when I say small, I mean tiny. I’m working the counter during the afternoon lull when an older gentleman walks in holding a large, battered shoebox sealed with an alarming amount of duct tape.
Customer: “Need to send this to my grandson in Texas.”
He places it down. I look at the address, which is written in pencil and partially smudged.
Me: “Do you have a clearer copy of the address?”
Customer: “[Grandson’s Name], Dallas.”
Me: “…Dallas is a little bigger than that.”
Customer: “He’ll find it.”
Me: “I’ll need a street address and zip code.”
Customer: “He’s got a phone. They’ll call him when it gets there.”
Me: “Who will?”
Customer: “You know. The post people. Y’all track it, right?”
Me: “Dallas is a big place, it’s not like here. If a package comes for you, well, I know you, I can call you. Dallas is a city of over a million people, it doesn’t work that way there.”
Customer: “There ain’t more than a million people! That’s some bull-s***!”
Me: “Perhaps you could call your grandson for his address?”
Customer: “Just send it and call him when it gets there.”
Me: “Even if we could do that, you haven’t put a phone number on the package, either.”
Customer: “Won’t they know him when they see the name?”
Me: “Sir? Have you ever been to Dallas?”
Customer: “Woman, I ain’t ever been outside of Arkansas!”
Me: “Have you ever been to Little Rock?” *The largest city in Arkansas, population about 200,000.*
Customer: “Yeah, but I didn’t like it. Too many people.”
Me: “Dallas is several times bigger than Little Rock.”
Customer: “The h*** are you talkin’ about! No place gets that big!”
Me: “Dallas has. Anyway, I still think you should call your grandson and ask for a full address.”
Customer: “I ain’t got no phone.”
Me: “Would you like to use ours?”
Customer: “I’ll send him a letter and ask him for his address.”
Me: “Letter? As in… writing him a letter?”
Customer: “Yeah! What else would I mean?”
Me: “And do you know the address you use for those letters?”
Customer: “Yeah, it’s 123 Name Street, Dallas, 75226.”
Me: “…”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Nothing, sir. I think we have everything we need to send the package.”
Customer: “Finally! Y’all a little slow today, ain’t ya?”
Related:
In A State Of Confusion, Part 12
In A State Of Confusion, Part 11
In A State Of Confusion, Part 10
In A State Of Confusion, Part 9
In A State Of Confusion, Part 8
