I have spent the last two years working in the kitchen of a local casino. I have been either cooking for the employees or doing the majority of the prep work for the casino buffet. I don’t deal with the general public.

Today, I clock in to find they want me to run the dessert counter on the buffet. Most of our cakes are premade and presliced, so aside from keeping the options for guests full, my other job is to plate the cakes. As I’m doing this, a blissfully clueless woman comes up to look at the desserts.

Guest: “Excuse me, what’s in the chocolate cake?”

I simply think she is looking for allergens and she also seems polite.

Me: “Flour, eggs, gluten, sugar, cocoa, milk…”

Guest: “No! No, no, what is in the chocolate cake?”

I reach over to grab the ingredient list and start to recite the list for her and politely as possible.

Guest: “No, no, no! How can you not know what is in your chocolate cake?!”

We stare at each other for a moment.

Guest: “So, what is in the chocolate cake?”

Me: *As emotionless as I can* “Chocolate and cake.”

Guest: “Manager, now!”

I leave the dessert table to find a manager; thankfully, one is close. I explain the situation. He is less than pleased with my last response but doesn’t say anything and goes straight to deal with the lady.

I get back to work but stay out of sight, and they have the same conversation, minus the last part. Then, she delivers this gem.

Guest: “I have Platinum on my card! I will not have anything less. Now, last chance, WHAT. IS. IN. THE. CHOCOLATE. CAKE?!”

There was a long moment of silence and curiosity got the better of me. I peeked around the corner to see my manager standing as though his brain had died. The customer finally gave up and walked away.

I never did find out what she wanted to find inside her cake. I’ve never seen Platinum as an edible.

My local game store has special sales days for loyalty members. The deals are usually pretty good, like buy-two-get-one preowned, or sometimes buy-three-get-two. Plus, I can usually load up on T-shirts, cute pins, and the occasional decoration for my gaming corner. 

It’s one of those sales, and I’m walking around with several T-shirts and packs of Pokémon pins in my arms. I stop by the PlayStation 4 games, because it’s a great time to load up on games I’ve heard good things about but wasn’t sure about paying full price for. I’m browsing along when some random dude decides to talk to me.

Customer: “Hey, you have a loyalty card, right?”

Me: “Uh, yes.”

Customer: “Can I use it, too?”

I will totally let my close friends use my account, but I don’t feel comfortable letting some random dude use it, especially as it’s tied to my phone number.

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “Come on. It’s not a big deal.”

Me: “I don’t feel comfortable giving out my phone number, so no.”

I grab my games and go up to the counter. Rando follows a few steps behind. I’m an extreme regular, so the main employees know my phone number by heart. So, thankfully, I don’t have to say it out loud, but rando dude is trying to see over my shoulder.

Employee: “Hey, sir, I’m going to need you to stand over there in line.”

Customer: “I’m with her. She’s my girlfr—”

Employee: “I know her boyfriend, sir.”

I’m single, but thank God for good people!

Customer: “Brother?”

I shake my head.

Employee: “Behind the line, please, sir. It’s store policy, as a lot of our customers pay with credit cards.”

Customer: “Come on!”

Employee: “Sir, step behind the line.”

Rando finally steps away, and the employee rings me up. I pay, take my bags, and head for the door. As I do, rando steps up to the counter and puts the games down with a half slam. I kind of decide to be nosy and see what happens.

Customer: *Points to me* “She said I could use her account.”

Employee: “No, sir.”

Customer: “It’s like, c’mon, it’s like five bucks.”

He’s holding several pre-owned games that have been recently released, where the free one would be around $50.

Employee: “I can sell you a membership and you’ll still save money.”

It’s $15 for the membership, which would mean he would essentially get the third game for $15, which is still a $35 savings.

Customer: “No, that’s too expensive. Just put in yours or something.”

Employee: “I can’t do that. I can only give you a discount if you have your own membership.”

Rando knocked the games off the counter and stormed past me, tossing out a slur that implied that I could be paid in exchange for sexual favors.

Dude, just buy a membership.

I work in a small town’s only liquor store. Being a small town, we learn our regulars and know some of their names. I have one couple that comes in and the husband has somehow come to believe that we’re friends and this gives him an “in.” Because of that, he’s always asking for a discount which I never give.

They come in and the wife immediately makes eye contact and subtly shakes her head no, so I know I’m in for something.

Husband: “Can you do me a favor?”

Me: “Possibly.”

Husband: “I get paid tomorrow; can I get a six-pack now?”

Me: “If you have the money.”

Husband: “You won’t let me pay tomorrow?”

Me: “I absolutely am not risking my job for that.”

Husband: “What if I leave you my phone?”

Me: “Your six-pack is not worth my children’s food.”

This isn’t the only time someone’s tried to get credit here, but I haven’t seen them since.

There’s a regular customer who always comes in with her five-year-old granddaughter who, as she claims, chose to be a vegan. They always order wheat bread and request for the staff to change their gloves and to use a new knife.

One day, there’s no line, and I see the woman come in. On that, I immediately take off the gloves I’m using and go to the back to get a fresh knife, and when I return, I wash my hands and put on a fresh pair of gloves, while in view of the woman. As soon as I am at the counter, ready to take her order…

Customer: “My granddaughter is a vegan. Can you go get a new knife and change your gloves?”

Internal facepalm.

Like most call centers, we are required to do a “handshake” at the beginning of each call; that is, get the caller’s name and, if applicable, the company they are with. We get dinged during performance reviews if we don’t ask.

Caller: “I have an issue with my invoice.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Let me take a look. Can I get your name, please?”

Caller: “No.”

Me: *Taken aback* “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “No, you can’t have my name. That’s private. It’s rude of you even to ask.”

Me: “Okay, well, what information can you give me to find the invoice?”

Caller: “You can find the order under my name.”

Me: “…”