I pulled up to the speaker at a local fast-food restaurant and ordered a barbecue chicken sandwich “without mayonnaise, please.” The clerk said, rather condescendingly, “The barbecue chicken sandwich doesn’t have mayo, ma’am. It comes with barbecue sauce.”

I drove up to the window; the clerk took my money and then, as I watched, she suddenly yelled to the cook in the back, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I heard the cook yell, “What?” She said, “That’s a barbecue chicken sandwich! Why are you putting mayo on it?!” The cook yelled, “Well, what are you SUPPOSED to put on a barbecue chicken sandwich?”

When the clerk came back to the window, I said, “That’s why I order it without mayo.”

Me: “Hi, thanks for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, when are tennis tryouts?”

Me: “I’m sorry; what was that?”

Customer: “Tennis tryouts. When are they?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about tennis tryouts.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Customer: “This is the number to call about tryouts, right? It was on the flyer.”

Me: “No, sorry, this is a restaurant.”

Customer: “I see.” *hangs up*

Manager: “Wow, why won’t you let anyone tryout for the tennis team?”

Me: “I only want the best.”

(A friend and I go to a diner that we often visit for a late lunch. We’re pretty much the only ones there. Our server has worked there for years and, although he’s very nice, he’s not very bright. We finish our food and try and get his attention. He smiles and nods. We try again and he looks confused and waves at us. We try a third time when he grabs another server and points to us.)

Server #2: “How can I help you?”

Me: “We’re just ready for the check.”

(She goes back to the counter.)

Server #1: “What did they want?”

Server #2: *exasperated* “They wanted their check.”

(A customer has ordered a bowl of spicy pepper squid, which we garnish with finely sliced spring onions and chillis.)

Customer: “This squid isn’t cooked properly, and it’s far too spicy!”

Manager: “Ah, think you’ve eaten a slice of chilli there, the squid should be fine, but if not, can get you another one.”

Customer: “No, refusing to pay, this is ridiculous, it’s not cooked properly.
My manager then explains that it’s fine, we follow standard cooking procedures (we’re a chain) and if she’s not happy, he’ll take it off the bill (mostly so she’d leave)
She then turns round to me and declares: “just so you know, tell your manager to change his attitude (he’s one of the nicest people ever) the customer is ALWAYS RIGHT and he shouldn’t speak to me like I’m stupid or something.”

(She then storms off and I’m stuck between laughing and punching her. Sigh.)

(It’s my first day of working as a barista for a popular coffee shop and every year, at around November, there is a promo that if you buy a certain coffee, you get a sticker; if you get enough stickers, you get a year-long planner.)

Me: “Hi! Good to see you again. What’ll be your drink today?”

Girl: “Hiya! Double Venti Java Chip, please, and a grilled ham and three cheeses.”

Me: “Okay! Are you still collecting stickers for the planner?”

Girl: “No, no. But could you please give the sticker to the next person who asks?”

Me: “Sure thing! Could I have your name for the cup?”

Girl: “[Name.]” *spells out her name as I write it*

Me: “All right! Please wait at the bar for your drink!”

(She pays for her drink and the next customer gets her sticker. Later on, when she’s served her food, she takes her tray to a table that’s yet to be cleaned, she clears it herself, throwing away the empty plastic cups and paper towels in the proper wastebins, and walks back to the bar to return the tray, filled with a neatly piled stack of plates of the last person who occupied the table.)

Me: “Did you use to work here?”

Girl: “What? Oh, no!” *grins* “I just like doing things for myself. Besides, you’re all always pretty busy.”

(Supervisor comes in.)

Supervisor: “Hi, Miss [Name]! Good to see you again! How’s your screenplay going?”

Girl: “Oh, hey! Still working on it, like you do, thanks very much for asking!”

(I asked my supervisor about her because I’ve never met anyone so polite! Apparently, this girl has been going to this particular coffee shop for years and she’s been doing this for as long as anyone can remember. She would stay for hours at a time, writing things, and sometimes order every few hours. I’ve never known anyone so self-sufficient, polite, and kind… especially in this country! I don’t know if you’ll ever see this but you rock, girl!)