(For the last few years, I’ve been running a restaurant that has been my own personal project. Thanks to some great reviews, my place has gained a decent popularity over time and we now have a number of regulars who love our food and service. I’m really proud of this since I have built it from the ground up. My place is in quite an affluent area, but both my staff and regulars know I will not stand for anyone entitled or rude. On one slow Sunday afternoon, I see what looks like a high school senior in a Letterman jacket pull up in an expensive-looking SUV. He appears to be on a first date with a girl and both look a little nervous. When they walk through the door, he breezes right past the hostess and sits at an empty table in the middle of the restaurant and immediately yells:)

Kid: “SERVICE!” *clicks his fingers loudly*

(The server is there immediately but the kid mocks him for being “slow” and proceeds to speak to him in the most condescending and patronizing voice you can imagine. Several times he refers to him as “dumb” and then comments that he “probably didn’t finish high school,” but, true to form, our server still maintains a wonderful and professional attitude and seems to just ignore the kid’s attempts at mocking him. He’s being an irritating little twerp, but we figure he’s just trying to impress his date. However, even she looks a little unimpressed.)

Date: “Why are you being so rude to the waitstaff?”

Kid: “Oh, that’s just a little joke between us. I’m here all the time! In fact, I’m basically family! 

(I’ve never seen this kid before ever.)

Date: “Well… they didn’t seem to like it! Maybe stop doing it!”

Kid: “Nah, just chill. We’re so tight here! In fact, they let me eat for free!”

(This line now has my back up and I gather my two servers and tell them to be wary of this kid as he might try to dine and dash. When they serve him the bill, one server stands by the table and I have another mop the floor at the front, so he can be close to the doors. When we give him the bill, there are inevitable fireworks and he immediately starts screaming for a manager. Today, my manager called in sick, so I am covering the front of house management duties. This kid has been loud and boastful to his date the entire time and has clearly irked the patrons. When I walk over to him, he has a face like thunder.)

Me: “Hi, sir. How may I help you?”

Kid: “Yeah, you want to tell me why this a**hole charged me for my food?!”

(I give him an “Are you kidding me?” look.)

Me: “That’s how a restaurant works, sir; you order food and then you pay for it. Did I miss anything here?”

Kid: “Look, how about you just comp my meal and things won’t get unpleasant for you!”

Me: “Was the service bad?”

Kid: “No.”

Me: “Was any of your food undercooked or inedible?”

Kid: “No.”

Me: “So, explain why the h*** I would comp you?”

Kid: “Because my dad happens to know a lot of important people! Does the name [Guy] mean anything to you?”

(He has a really arrogant sneer on his face. His date looks super embarrassed by him.)

Me: “No, sorry.”

(He looks extremely shocked at this fact.)

Kid: “You must not have heard me, I said [Guy]!” 

Me: “Still doesn’t ring a bell.”

Kid: “WHAT THE H***?! HE OWNS THE F****** [Luxury Car] DEALERSHIP! EVERYONE KNOWS HIM!”

Me: “Okay… I don’t, I’m afraid!”

Kid: “Well, he happens to be a personal friend of the owner! And he’ll be furious if he finds out you pissed off his number-one customer!”

Me: “Oh, he knows Oliver?”

Kid: *smugly* “Yeah, sure does!”

Me: “Describe him to me!”

Kid: *suddenly nervous* “Err… he like… umm… has, like, blonde hair and, like… err… tall and stuff! Look, just comp my d*** meal!”

Me: “Can you please read my badge?”

Kid: “Fine! It says [My Name], owner…”

(Immediately, his face drains of color and he starts to look worried.)

Me: “So, we’ve established there’s no Oliver! Now, either you pay your bill, or I get the police involved!”

(Quickly, the kid pulls me to one side; his once cocky demeanor has completely vanished.)

Kid: “Look, I’ll level with you! I don’t have any money; can you just do me a solid?!”

Me: “H*** no! Either pay or you get arrested.”

Kid: “I just thought you’d know who my dad was and give me free stuff! Everyone does business with him!”

Me: “That’s a really stupid plan, first of all. Secondly, I don’t give out free food!”

Kid: “Come on, help a brother out! I’ve been begging [Date] to go out with me for weeks and I promised her a free meal! If she has to pay, then everyone will laugh at me and say I’m cheap! Please, I’ll pay you back double with interest next time; just give me it free this time!”

(His date has looked unimpressed with him the entire time, so I think a second is already out of the question.)

Me: “Then call your dad and get him to come and pay! Either way, that bill is gonna be settled.” 

Kid: “WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT!? THIS PLACE SUCKS! COME ON, [DATE], WE’RE LEAVING!”

(He makes a defiant stride towards the doors, but my server quickly locks them while his date remains frozen to the spot! By now, many of my regulars are angrily yelling at him and demanding he pay up and stop being a brat. The kid looks as if he wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.)

Me: “You have three choices here. One: get arrested, two: get your date to pay, or three: get your father down here pronto. Either way, your meal is getting paid today! Next time, don’t act like such an idiot!”

(Totally humiliated, he was forced to call his father and ashamedly tell him that he had gotten into a very tricky spot. He showed up a few minutes later and furiously berated his son in front of his date and the restaurant. He paid for his son’s meal and was thoroughly apologetic for his behavior. Unfortunately, the story didn’t end there. The next day, his son put up a very abusive review online, complete with multiple expletives, about how he hated my restaurant and how I ruined his date by “being a cheapskate” and how he should have gotten a free meal. Then, he called for people to boycott my place. Worst of all, he made several threats of bodily harm and even mentioned firebombing the restaurant. When several of my loyal customers tore him apart and threatened their own version of harm, his review was quickly taken down. The next day, the father came in with his son in tow and angrily made him apologize to me! He explained that several of his regular customers had taken business elsewhere because of his son’s review and, as a punishment, he had taken away his son’s car, computer, and allowance and was forcing him to work for free in the dealership. Ironically, after that day, his dad became a semi-regular customer of mine and has hosted several dinners at the restaurant. Each time I see his son, he looks as if he just swallowed a lemon. Several of the business friends in town say this kid pulled this name-dropping stunt a few times, but thankfully, I was the first to put him in his place and teach him a lesson.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Restaurant] in [Town]. What can I do for you this evening?”

Caller: “Uh, yeah, do you guys deliver?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we deliver within a five-mile radius.”

Caller: “I think I’m within that. Can you check?” *gives address*

Me: *looking it up* “Yes, we can deliver there! Can I just get some additional information from you first?”

(The customer gives me their name, phone number, and confirms their address.)

Customer: *places order*

Me: “Is there anything else I can get for you tonight?”

Customer: “Uh… um… Do you guys sell beer?”

Me: “We have the proper license to serve beer and wine, but not to sell. You would need to stay in the restaurant to drink it.”

Customer: “Can I get a couple of [beers] delivered with my food?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t deliver alcohol. Not only would we risk having our license revoked, but we could also get a hefty fine, not to mention that our delivery driver is under the legal age and could get in a lot of trouble for having alcohol in his car.”

Customer: “What if I paid extra?” *suggestively* “Something for you, and something for the driver?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It doesn’t work like that. If you would like, we could change your order to a pickup, and you could come and get it and have a drink at the bar?”

Customer: *clearly agitated* “Well, I guess I’ll have to come and get it, then!” *continues grumbling*

Me: *trying to remain cheerful* “All righty, sir. Your total for the food is [amount]. It should be ready in about twenty to thirty minutes.”

Customer: “Whatever.” *click*

(A while later, the customer comes in. His food is ready, and I begin to bring it to him at the register.)

Me: “If you’d just like to double-check these, make sure everything is correct.”

Customer: “Where’s my beer?”

Me: “We can definitely add a beer to the order. I’ll go place these—” *gestures to the food* “—back on the oven to keep them warm.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to pay for it! I’ve already made the trip! I demand to be compensated for my troubles!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t give out free beer. You would need to pay for it.”

Customer: *yelling* “No! I demand it come out of your pocket!”

Me: *losing my patience* “Sir, I have tried to be nice. But to be honest, I don’t feel comfortable serving you anything now. I suggest you pay for your food and leave. If you are that hard up for beer, there is a large bottle shop about three-quarters of a mile down the road. You can’t miss it. They probably have better prices, anyway.”

(By now, I realize my boss has noticed the commotion and has stepped out into the doorway of the kitchen, silently watching. He is a very large, intimidating man.)

Customer: *now red-faced with a bulging vein going down his forehead* “I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”

(My boss leisurely moves towards the counter, stopping just behind me.)

Boss: *placing his hand on my shoulder* “Hi, I’m [Boss]. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “She–” *points to me* “–promised me free beer if I came to pick up my order! But now she’s refusing me service! What kind of f****** establishment hires such dishonest, rude sluts? I want my food — AND MY BEER — FOR FREE!

Boss: *calmly* “Sir, [My Name] has been working here for years, and I believe she knows the rules by now; she’s one of my best employees. Now, from what I have seen, you have been harassing my staff and disrupting my other customers. You have been attempting to bully my worker into committing an illegal act, risking her job, my restaurant, and the safety of others. If you do not want to pay for your food, fine. We will donate it to the local fire station. But I suggest you leave these premises and do not return.”

(The customer sputters for a moment, and then quickly turns on his heel and storms out the door. Now, it’s worth noting that my boss is not a very fuzzy person. However:)

Boss: *under his breath* “What an a**hole.” *to me* “[My Name], I believe you handled that very well. Good job. Take a few minutes to pull yourself together. When you leave for the night, ask [Coworker that is trained in martial arts] to walk you to your car.”

(Now that the situation was over and the adrenaline was no longer pumping, I began to deflate, and I was thankful for the break and the knowledge that my boss has my back. I never heard anything more from the angry customer, and he never called again.)

(My dad takes me shopping and he decides to treat me to a pancake. We walk to a small pancake restaurant with a lovely view. Because it’s summer, we sit outside. Behind us are a couple of old ladies who are talking loudly. They go from subject to subject and sometimes mention how delicious the pancake is. When I happen to cross them on the way to the restroom, I see how they are actually scraping the plates clean, all the while exclaiming how good it was and how sad they are it is gone. Then, the time of their bill comes.)

Server: “Hello, was everything to your liking?”

Old Lady #1: *sighs* “Honestly, it was terrible. The pancake was undercooked and the vegetables were still raw. The sauce was just swimming under and over all the fat of the pancake. Honestly, I don’t know how you could serve that.”

Server: *a bit taken aback* “I see… And yours, miss?”

Old Lady #2: “I didn’t know it was possible to mess up a cheese and bacon pancake, but apparently, it is.”

(My dad and I are following this conversation intently. I feel upset because I know the ladies are lying, but my dad’s eyes start to glimmer.)

Server: “All right… but why didn’t you warn me? I could have taken it back; I could have switched it for you. Why didn’t you say anything when I passed by?”

Old Lady #1: “Well, eh… we didn’t want to be rude…”

Old Lady #2: “You looked so busy!”

Old Lady #1: “So, what can you do for us?”

Server: “Honestly, I can’t do anything for you. The plates are scraped clean. I can exchange something if it’s not good, but not when it’s completely eaten and the plates are clean.”

Old Lady #2: *loudly* “But it was disgusting!”

Server: “Next time, please let us know right away, so we can do something about it. Now, would you still like some coffee or just the bill?”

Old Lady #2: *huffs* “Bill, please!”

(This was my first encounter with people trying to scam a free meal. I have to admit that I really liked this “dinner-and-a-show” and my dad left a bigger tip than usual. In the Netherlands, tipping is not necessary and you usually only tip if you really liked the service.)

*I work as a Host in a chain restaurant that generally draws in elderly folks, somewhere between the ages of 50-80, in a very rich and snooty neighborhood. An elderly-ish couple walks in on a moderately busy night, but I can definitely seat them.*
Lady: Can we have a booth, please?
Me: Is a half booth, half table alright? *I ask this because last I checked, our two full booths were sat.*
Lady: Sure that’s fine.
*I grab their menus and start taking them to a half booth, when I realize that the full booth is open. As I’m about to suggest it, the lady thinks I’m sitting them in the half booth.*
Lady: *very slowly, in a condescending tone* No! I said ‘booth’! Can you even understand English???
*I just take them to the booth, and walk away. A little while later, as I’m walking by the Lady stops me.*
Lady: What country are you from?
Me: India, but I grew up here.
*I turn to leave, but as I do I can hear her mutter ‘F****** immigrants, ruining this country.’ Thanks lady, you too.*

(I work at an Asian restaurant that has counter service and sauces on a table where patrons can go and serve themselves. We make our own ginger garlic sauce that contains bits of garlic in them that sometimes get stuck in the spout of the squeeze bottle. We usually cut the tip off of the bottles to avoid this problem, but I forget to use the correct lid with the cut-off tip. An adult man whose order I have just served comes over to me holding the bottle, sans lid, with his shirt covered in ginger garlic sauce.)

Me: “Oh, my gosh, sir.” *laughs slightly* “It’s okay! That’s my bad. Sometimes the garlic gets stuck in the lid. I’ll go run and grab you a bunch of napkins!”

(I go and run to the back of the kitchen telling the kitchen staff I may be a minute before I can run orders because there’s a huge mess all over the place. Before I can get to the man and hand him his napkins, an older lady, presumably his mother, stops me.)

Old Lady: “Laughing was not an appropriate reaction to what happened.”

Me: *a bit confused* “Um, okay. Sorry, I just wanted him to know everything was okay and it wasn’t a problem.”

Old Lady: “Well, laughing was not the appropriate thing to say!”

Me: “Okay, but I need to go clean up now, so he’s not just covered in sauce.”

(I basically have to push past her, as we are in a narrow hallway, in order to give her son some napkins and proceed to clean the mess up that is all over the floor and the sauce table.)

Man: “I am so sorry; let me help you. I didn’t mean to make such a mess!”

Me: “No, no worries! I forgot to put the right lid on this sauce, it’s my fault. People tend to squeeze hard and this can happen. Nothing this big, but it’s no big deal!” *smiles, trying my best not to give even a friendly laugh*

Man: *proceeding to help me clean up* “Really, I am so sorry.”

Me: *smiling* “No problem! I’ll go get some extra sauce for you since this one is now out!”

(The whole time, his mother was standing to the side, tsking and shaking her head in disapproval at the situation. She proceeded to ignore me, even though her son was clearly unaffected by it, even when I smiled and walked past her to my counter station.)