Kirk Gleason At Ooober Would Never Stand For This

, , , , , , , | Working | September 25, 2020

I work with home-bound dementia patients. Due to health concerns with riding public transportation during the health crisis, my agency is paying for workers to take car services to work. I have used one particular app-based service with no problem… until one Friday.

I get the car and he picks me up just fine. We turn the corner and come to a two-lane street with a stoplight on red. There are two cars in front of us.

The minute the light turns green, the driver zooms into the opposite lane and passes the two cars! He clips the front car while doing so. He does this so fast — like zero to one hundred mph — that it takes me a good minute to realize he’s stopped the car on the next street and the clipped driver, a woman, has pulled up behind him, gotten out, and is now yelling at him.

Once I can move, I grab my stuff and get out of the car, hitting the “CANCEL” button on the app. The driver, meanwhile, is arguing with the woman, saying there is no scratch or mark on her car. She demands his information and he refuses, speaking very condescendingly and insisting there has been no accident. He sees me and asks that I get back in the car.

I respond, “H*** no! You almost f****** killed me!”

Seeing me, the woman comes over and asks if she can get his information on the app. The driver continues to tell her that there is nothing wrong and implores me to get back into the car. She takes a picture of him and his license plate and asks once more for his insurance. He gets in the car and drives off.

The woman is a nurse and has to get to an emergency pickup shift, and I, of course, have to go relieve another worker who is with a client. We exchange information and I tell her I will fill out the accident form on the app. We part ways to our jobs.

I do get a response from the app, saying someone will contact me about filling out a report, but then I hear nothing for almost an entire week. Finally, I have to call up the support line and remind them we have his license plate before they send me the insurance contact number. I pass it on to the woman and let her know to contact me for anything, as I’ve saved all the texts and files with screenshots.

The worst part is, when I checked to make sure I had the driver’s name right, he was still driving even though I had filled out a report on him!

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Cell Phone Laws Exist Because Of People Like Him

, , , , | Romantic | September 16, 2020

My husband and I have just moved to a new town and we are unfamiliar with the area. He is driving and I’m using my phone for the GPS to find a local grocery store when my husband’s friend calls him.

Husband: “Hey, [Friend]! What’s up?” *To me* “Where do I turn?”

Me: “You want [Street] at the next exit.”

I point at the sign.

Husband: “Okay.” *To his friend* “Yeah, it’s great. We’re adjusting. The weather is a little warmer than—”

Me: “This exit, [Husband].”

He doesn’t move over to the exit lane.

Me: “This exit!”

I pull on his sleeve to get his attention.

Husband: “Don’t pull on me! I’m driving! Where am I going?”

Me: *Frustrated* “The exit we just passed.”

Husband: “You should have said something.” *To his friend* “No, [My Name] is just getting us lost.”

Me: “You missed the exit!”

Husband: “What’s next?” *To his friend* “Go on, [Friend].”

Me: “Take this exit coming up.”

I point at the next exit.

Me: “How about you get off the phone until we get there?”

Husband: “I’m fine. This exit?”

Me: “Yeah, then a right at the end, and [Grocery Store] is two miles down.”

Husband: *Laughing at his friend* “Yeah, that’s dumb.” *To me* “Left?”


Husband: “I’m pretty sure it’s left.”

Me: “It was a left if you went off the correct exit. Now it’s a right. Pull over; I’ll drive and you can gab.”

Husband: “I’ve got it.”

He turns left.

Me: “I said right. You need to focus. Hang up.”

Husband: “It’s fine. I can see [Grocery Store]; we just have to turn around.”

He makes a left at the next stop sign and finds himself going the wrong way down a street with a grass divider between the lanes. A car is approaching, blaring the horn.

There’s a gap in the divider and he turns right, putting him in the correct lane. We are nearly hit by a truck going down that lane and I feel my heart jump into my throat. He, too, blares his horn.

The entire time, my husband is unbothered, still on the phone.

Finally, we pull into the parking lot.

Husband: “All right, man, I gotta go. We’re gonna shop. Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.” *To me* “Why is everyone such a**holes here?”

Me: *Still shaken*You’re an a**hole! You went the wrong way and almost got us killed!”

Husband: “I was following your directions!”

I walked away and grabbed a grocery cart. At the end of our trip, he was loading the groceries in the car and I took the keys from his pocket, insisting I would drive. We got back to the house and he still refused to believe that he hadn’t been paying attention.

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He’s Not Driving A Ford Siesta

, , , | Related | September 14, 2020

We are on a long family road trip, and my dad is driving and keeping himself occupied by making us groan to his ‘dad jokes.’

Dad: “What concert costs just 45 cents?”

Mom: “Here we go…”

Dad: “50 Cent featuring Nickelback!”

Cue the whole car groaning.

Dad: “My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.”

Me: “Dad… that’s enough.”

Dad: “Do you think glass coffins will be a success? Remains to be seen.”

Mom: “Honey, I think you need to take a nap. Let me drive a while?”

Dad: “Nope! I am guilty of resisting a rest!”


It was a very long drive…

This story is part of our Best Of September 2020 roundup!

Read the next story in the Best Of September 2020 roundup!

Read the Best Of September 2020 roundup!

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Talk About Spoiled!

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 12, 2020

We woke one day to discover that our mailbox and the culvert for our driveway had been completely demolished. Car parts were everywhere.

The state trooper told my husband the driver had swerved to miss a deer. He also seemed to believe she was the only one in the car.

We spent hours cleaning the site, temporarily stopping our mail, and contacting the county to fix the culvert. 

Not-so-fun fact: the county will do the work, but the homeowner must purchase the culvert elsewhere. So another hour is spent finding a replacement. The cost is over seven hundred and fifty dollars.

An hour and eighty-five dollars were spent shopping for a new mailbox and post.

In the course of one week, the driver’s accident cost us over eight hundred dollars and ten hours.

The day after the accident, her parents stopped by with a promise to pay as she has no insurance.

At one point, I said, “The trooper said she was avoiding a deer “

The dad snorted and said, “And you believe that?!”

The mother winced and explained, “I was in the car with my granddaughter. There was no deer. This is the fourth car she’s wrecked this year. We told her we’re not buying her another one.”

You can probably guess that not only did they not pay us anything, but they bought her another vehicle.

How do I know? Because later, she almost hit me head-on as I was nearing the end of our road and she was entering it. I slammed on the brakes. She hid her face.

Just last week, she drove past my house and flipped me off.

Being forgiving and generous to other people does not always end well.

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Pump The Brakes On That Panic Attack

, , , , | Friendly | September 10, 2020

While in college, my boyfriend undergoes a bone biopsy and will need to recover at home for a few days. Not having a car of my own, I borrow his so I can visit him until he can return to class. What none of us realize is that his car has been slowly leaking brake fluid and today is the day that breaks the camel’s back.

After leaving his house the first day he’s home, I’m driving down the middle lane of a three-lane highway and start to approach a red light. I put my foot on the brake and while the car slows, it refuses to stop. I only have about fifty feet before I will hit a car stopped in front of me at the light. I’m completely panicked, slamming the brake with both feet, trying desperately to stop the car. Being in the middle lane, I can’t pull over and the only other car I’ve ever driven had a pedal emergency brake. This car has a hand e-brake which I don’t know exists at the time.

With only about fifteen feet to go, the car has coasted to about ten or fifteen mph but I know I’m still going to hit the car in front of me.

In a last-ditch effort, I throw the car into park and the car emits a horrendous noise, as you would expect, but I still rear-end the car stopped in front of me, a small SUV. I don’t hit him hard enough to deploy the airbag but hard enough to bring me to an abrupt halt. 

As I was able to see this accident coming, combined with the fear of driving down the highway without brakes, adrenaline has been pouring into my system. I’ve now caused an accident in a car that isn’t mine and that I’m not registered to drive, and I have an out-of-state driver’s license. In our college town, police are notoriously unforgiving of out-of-state college drivers and I’m convinced I’m in loads of trouble. I’m having an absolute, sobbing meltdown in the driver’s seat.

The driver from the car in front of me gets out, takes a brief look at the damage to our cars, and approaches my window. I roll it down and immediately begin rapid-fire apologizing while sobbing. 

Me: “I’m so sorry! My brakes went out and I couldn’t stop and I didn’t mean to hit you and I hope you’re okay and I’m so sorry and I couldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do and I couldn’t stop and—”

Other Driver: *Very concerned* “Are you okay?”

Me: “I didn’t mean to hit you, but I couldn’t stop and I was so scared and I’m so sorry and my brakes wouldn’t work—”

Other Driver: *Still patient and concerned* “Are you okay?”

Me: “I’m really sorry and—”

Other Driver: *In a very casual tone* “I think you broke a headlight.”

Me: “It’s my boyfriend’s car and he just got out of surgery and the brakes wouldn’t work—”

Other Driver: *Somewhat forcefully* “STOP.”

I fall silent.

Other Driver: *Very calmly* “Are you okay?”

Me: “I’m not hurt.”

At this point, a police officer has arrived and starts to tell me I need to move my car. I’m completely flummoxed because the brakes don’t work and I try telling him this. He keeps insisting I move the car because we’re holding up traffic. The other driver chimes in that I can probably move the car no problem, but if the officer wants me to stop at some point, we’re going to have an issue.

In the midst of all of this, I’ve managed to call my boyfriend who, even though he’s recovering from a very painful procedure, manages to get a ride to the accident scene which is only about ten minutes from his house. He explains that the car has a hand brake and the friend who drove him moves the car to a nearby gas station. The other driver follows us all so we can continue talking to the officer.

At this point, the officer has never asked me for my license, proof of insurance, or anything. He addresses the other driver.

Officer: “Do you want to file an accident report or have us pursue this any farther?”

Other Driver: “Nah. My car is fine. I do more damage than that putting my bike in the trunk. And it’s not like it was really her fault. I’m okay calling it a day if you are.”

Officer: “Sounds good. Have a good day, everyone.”

I never got that other driver’s name but I will always be grateful for how kind and understanding he was. He could have made my day so much worse and it would have been totally justified. Thank you, driver, wherever you are!

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