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Making Light Of The Situation

, , , , , , | Right | March 17, 2023

I work for a commercial vehicle service. A client needed lights repaired on his commercial truck. The rules are fairly strict in that all lights on the vehicle must be operational, but they’re somewhat loose about what lights must be on the vehicle.

The client was complaining that it was unfair that he needed to have the truck inspected every year and that he got hassled about lights not working. Most of the lights worked. That should be good enough, right?

The lights that didn’t work were his brake lights.

Only Semi-Panicking

, , , , , | Working | March 10, 2023

During a cold snap in the southeast, I am driving a company truck from one facility to the other in order to do some work there. It is about 9:00 pm, as I work the overnight shift, and it is raining a bit. I think I can handle the drive, as I’m a Georgia native and don’t think it looks that bad.

It turns out there is a black ice warning that I missed before we headed out. With my supervisor in the passenger seat, I’m driving a few miles below the speed limit, and I am getting passed as a result, even on roads where passing shouldn’t be allowed.

I’m a few car lengths behind a semi-truck on a four-lane highway with water spraying back onto my windshield when the semi starts to slide back and forth. My supervisor starts cursing, but I very calmly take my foot off the gas, letting the truck slow down on its own while the semi-truck in front of us jackknifes, swerving across all four lanes, crashing into a guard rail. It nearly tips over but finally comes to a stop and, luckily, it doesn’t hit any other cars.

Once the road is clear of the wrecked semi, I keep driving, but at about half the speed I was before the semi started sliding.

After a few minutes of staring at me, the supervisor speaks up.

Supervisor: “Are you okay? You’re surprisingly calm.”

I’m feeling a bit shaky after the fact.

Me: “Nah, yeah, I’m fine.”

Supervisor: “Jesus, you didn’t even blink when the truck spun out.”

Me: “Well, sure. What was panicking going to accomplish? That being said, can I pull into this parking lot up here?”

My supervisor agreed under the circumstances, and I pulled into an empty parking lot since the full weight of what almost happened was hitting me and I started shaking a bit.

He was surprised when I insisted on driving the rest of the way, since we were almost at our destination anyway, after only a few minutes to calm down.

She Didn’t Leave HER Lights On, Apparently

, , , , | Working | March 3, 2023

As I’m walking into a store, I notice a vintage Oldsmobile out in the parking lot with its lights on. I go inside and walk up to the service desk.

Me: “Could you page the owner of the vintage Oldsmobile outside? They left their lights on.”

The girl looks at me like she has no idea what I am saying.

Employee: “Is it your car?”

Me: “No.”

Employee: “Is it in your way?”

Me: “No.”

Employee: “Then I don’t know what you mean.”

That’s A Little Bit Funny And A Lot Terrifying

, , , , , , , | Working | March 1, 2023

I was in a bad accident, and with part of the settlement money, I was able to get a new car. The higher-set and heated seat made a huge difference in my permanent injuries.

After a year of driving the new car with no issues, I’m coming home late one night, and as I turn at the light, the car stutters a little, just for a second. It seems okay, so I continue home.

Turning onto the road before mine, there’s a steep hill with a sharp curve that has a barrier on one side and a rock hill on the other. It’s hard to see who’s coming and going; at night, you have to watch for headlights. As I start up this hill, the car sputters again, the headlights dim, it slows to five mph with my foot to the floor, and caution/error lights are all over my dash. I have two choices: try to get up the hill and make it home, or take a chance rolling back to where I can pull off. If I stop on the hill, I WILL get hit. I decide to keep going, and I do make it home.

I call the dealership in the morning, and they tow my car in. They have it for two days.

Mechanic: “It was a computer issue. We’ve cleared the codes, and you’re good to go.”

I get the car back and it runs fine… for a week.

I’m heading to the dentist, and I’m in a turn lane waiting for the light to change. The light goes green, I go to turn left, and the car dies. There’s no sputter and no warning; it just shuts off. Thankfully, I am still in the turn lane so I’m not blocking traffic, just those behind me.

Flashers on, I call the dealership to get a tow and I’m told it will be two hours. I try to restart (putting the car in park to do so) but it doesn’t even attempt to turn over. So, I’m in my car, flashers on, blocking the turn lane, it’s ninety-five degrees, and I’m trying to wave people around me to cut down on how many cuss me out for blocking the turn lane.

A couple of people offer to push my car across the road, but it’s not exactly safe, plus there’s another issue. Two police officers pull up to see what the problem is. They’re super nice and offer to get me safely across the street to the gas station on the corner. The problem: my car will NOT shift out of park. The brake won’t depress at all.

One of the officers takes a good five minutes to finally get it down enough to shift into neutral, and he pushes it by hand into the gas station parking lot while the other officer blocks traffic. They make sure I’m good and have my phone, and they head out. The tow truck finally arrives, and my mom picks me up and runs me home.

Two days later, the service manager calls me, sounding beyond confused.

Service Manager: “We found the problem. One of the main wires in the wiring harness wasn’t actually connected. It was just touching what it should have been secured to. It has been like that since it was built. I cannot understand how you’ve driven the car for a year before having issues. It shouldn’t have worked at all!”

I guess my saving grace was how little I drive. In two years, I’ve put less than 15,000 miles on it.

The service manager asked if he could bring in service managers from some other locations to see it since, as far as he knew, that issue hadn’t been seen before. I was fine with it, but it’s still funny thinking about how confused the guy sounded when he called me.

Get That Puppy A Treat RIGHT NOW

, , , , , , , | Related | February 24, 2023

My wife and I have two huskies, and we take them on car rides to the dog park almost every weekend (weather permitting) and to the pet store at least once a month.

It is early Sunday morning, and we’re heading to the pet store. We get the dogs in the car, and our female husky is content; she’s quietly sitting in the back and watching things out the rear window. Our male husky is his usual self — overly excited. He’s up and down over the back seat and being talkative for the first few minutes. It’s about a fifteen-minute drive to the pet store. After a few minutes, our male husky calms down, and he’s now laying down in the back.

We get within about a half-mile of the pet store, and both dogs must be able to smell the change in the air; they’re excited. They’re both now standing and watching out the windows as we drive closer and closer. We turn into the parking lot and it’s empty. It’s odd that the time is around 8:20 am and they’re not open. We pull up to the entrance and I read the “Hours of Operations” sign.

Sundays: Open 9:00 am.

We’re early. Okay, I guess we’ll make an unscheduled stop at the dog park about five minutes away and then come back.

My wife starts to turn and drive out of the parking lot, and our male husky freaks out and starts to panic. He’s trying to climb up into my lap in the front seat, and he’s whining like a baby and howling as we drive out of the parking lot and away from the store.

I’ve never seen him act that way before. It’s the funniest reaction I’ve ever seen a dog have. Drive to the pet store and then drive away without stopping? He was so upset. Poor puppy!

In the end, after about twenty minutes at the dog park, we go back to the store so he can get his people fix in. He loves meeting all the people, and if other dogs are in the store, that is just an added bonus.