Shut Up And Take My Money!

, , , , , , | Working | February 16, 2019

(My family is using a company for our cell phones, who in turn use a national carrier to actually provide the cell service. For a number of reasons — of their doing — we decide to close our account and change companies. We receive a last bill demanding “immediate payment,” which only offers the ability to pay online, in person at a store, or by calling a listed phone number — no mailing address. I attempt to pay online, but am not able to, as I don’t have an “active phone.” I decide to pay in person. This is the sequence of events, as I attempt to PAY my last bill. At the store:)

Me: “I need to pay our bill. We no longer have an active phone with you, so I couldn’t pay online.”

Customer Service Person #1: *looks up my information* “I’m sorry, but we cannot take your money. We no longer handle bills for [National Carrier] you were using. You can only pay by phone.”

(I go home and call the phone number on the bill.)

Me: “I need to pay our last bill. We don’t have an active phone, so I couldn’t pay online, and the person at [Store] said they no longer collect bills for [National Carrier].”

(I give him the account and the disconnected phone number.)

Customer Service Person #2: *collects my information from me* “I’m sorry, but we cannot take your money. We also no longer handle bills for [National Carrier], either. You have to call your old carrier.”

Me: “I have only ever used you to pay my bill. This is the only phone number on my bill, and I don’t have a [National Carrier] number. I have no one else to call, and I just need to pay my last bill.”

Customer Service Person #2: “Let put you on hold, so I can talk to my supervisor.”

(He disconnects me instead. I call back, and explain the entire story again.)

Customer Service Person #3: *recollects my information* “Let me put you on hold, so I can figure out what to do.”

(Five to ten minutes go by.)

Customer Service Person #3: “Unfortunately, you will have to call [National Carrier] to pay this bill, as we cannot take your money for [National Carrier].”

(However, this time she gives me a number to call which is not on the bill. I call the new number, which uses the exact same menu navigation, making me think it’s the same place. I explain the entire story again, and include the account and disconnected phone numbers.)

Customer Service Person #4: *collects my information from me* “I’m sorry, but I cannot take your money without an active phone. Once we suspend your phone for non-payment, you have to pay in person at [Store].”

Me: “Listen. It wasn’t suspended for non-payment. I cancelled my account with you, and this is my last bill with you. As I told you, the store already told me they couldn’t take my money, and that I could only pay over the phone. All I want to do is pay you what I owe you. Why can’t I pay you if I have the account number and old phone number, and you have access to my account?”

Customer Service Person #4: “Okay, let me put you on with my supervisor.”

(I’m transferred to the supervisor and explain the entire story yet again, with all the account information.)

Supervisor: *she collects my account information again* “I’m sorry, but I cannot take your money without an active phone attached to the account.”

Me: *explains to her entire story for a second time* “I don’t understand why this isn’t enough information to give you the money that I owe you, since [Store] can’t take my money in person.”

Supervisor: “Okay, let me see what I can do.”

(After a few minutes, she comes back on and asks me several new questions. Then she takes my credit card information.)

Supervisor: “Now, then, I must warn you that there is an additional fee, since you paid by phone, instead of paying online or in person.”

(I have had enough!)

Me:This is ridiculous! I will not pay a fee as if it is some kind of privilege to pay you! You wouldn’t allow me to make my payment online or in person, and are forcing me to pay you by phone! Listen. You have two options: take my money right now for only for the bill total, or I am going to hang up on you and never pay this bill. What can you do? Cut off my already deactivated phone? I cannot believe that you all have refused to take my money.

(She agreed to waive the fee and took only the bill amount. Who knew that trying to actually give someone money would be so hard?!)

They’re Not Bready For This

, , , , , , | Working | February 15, 2019

(I am with my husband. We are in a small town grabbing some quick supper on the way to the drive-in theater. We see a local coffee chain that sells food and figure that should work perfectly. We head into the drive-thru and notice that we have shown up about 45 minutes before close.)

Worker: “Hi! Welcome to [Coffee Place]. Just to let you know, as we are close to our closing time, we are not serving hot food anymore. We are still offering our sandwich menu.”

Husband: “No problem. Thanks for letting me know.”

Worker: “What can I get you?”

Husband: “Can I get a chicken salad sandwich and-–“

Worker: “Sorry, we’re out of chicken salad for the night.”

Husband: “Oh, okay. Um, a turkey bacon club, then?”

Worker: “Sorry, we’re out of bacon, as well.”

(We were starting to get a bit frustrated, but we realize that we did come close to closing, so assume we will just make the best of what they have left.)

Husband: “Okay, can I get two ham and cheddars, then?”

Worker: “Actually, we’re out of bread.”

Me: “What?! She can’t be serious.”

Husband: “So, how would I get a sandwich, then?”

Worker: “Um. I mean, we can give you the meat?”

(I start laughing hard, and my husband has this “Seriously?” look on his face.)

Husband: “So, you have no bread at all? No biscuits, English muffins, nothing?”

Worker: “Ah, no, not really. Did you still want the ham and cheddar?”

Husband: “No, thanks. I think we’ll try somewhere else.”

(We ended up grabbing food at a sub shop. It was pretty funny that the worker offered us sandwiches if they were completely out of bread! Probably would have been better off to close early if it was truly that bad!)

Driving Into The Irony

, , , | Working | February 15, 2019

(I work at a truck gate at a parts warehouse. My job is to check in and out trucks that come in for deliveries and pickups. We are required to give each driver a laminated map of the yard and dock locations. A driver comes in, and we direct him to a specific dock and give him a map with the dock clearly marked.)

Driver: “I’ve been here before; I don’t need it.”

Me: “Everyone has to have one.”

Driver: “That’s dumb. I’m just going right over there!” *points to the dock visible from the gate*

Me: “I know, but you’d be surprised how many people get lost.”

Driver: “That’s just stupid; I can’t believe people get lost. It’s right over there! Stupid drivers…”

(The driver then took the map and proceeded directly to the wrong dock.)

A Crustacean Inflation

, , , , , , | Working | February 15, 2019

My mother has a serious shellfish allergy; as she gets older, it has become progressively more serious. When she eats shellfish, she needs to go to the emergency room. Her friends are well aware of this; every time she eats out at a place that serves crustaceans, she explains it to the wait-staff in excruciating detail. She also lives in a part of the country where shrimp makes an appearance in many food items, so she has to repeat this often.

One day, my parents are having dinner with a friend of theirs. A few bites into dinner, my mother can sense that something is wrong. She mentions this to my father, who confirms that she’s having a reaction, and he asks the hostess whether there was shellfish in the food. The hostess says that there was, but that she took the shrimp out when she remembered about my mom’s allergy.

My parents immediately ask where the nearest hospital is and get ready to leave. The hostess disappears as they’re putting on their coats. When she emerges, she has boxed up their leftovers so they can eat them later.

Going The Extra (S)Mile To Be Annoying

, , , , | Working | February 14, 2019

(I am having one of those mornings where everything goes wrong: almost no sleep, car trouble, spilled juice on my clothes, burned myself in the kitchen, dog chewed a hole in the rug, etc. I’m tired and I’m on my last nerve. I’m running errands and the pet store is my last stop before taking a break for lunch. I put a large bag of dog food on the counter — I’m a small woman so I have to carry it with both arms — and start digging in my purse for my credit card. I go to pay but notice that the cashier hasn’t rung up my purchase.)

Me: “Is there a problem?”

(The cashier is grinning at me.)

Cashier: “I’m not ringing this up until you smile for me.”

(I stare at him. I assume he’s joking and stand there, waiting for him to ring up the dog food. He keeps grinning and nods at me.)

Cashier: *in a cutesy voice* “Come on, now. Smile for me.”

(And that’s the moment when I’ve had enough. I flip him off with both hands, leave the dog food on the counter, and walk to the door.)

Cashier: *sounds shocked* “Hey, wait! It’s just a smile!”

(I flipped him off again over my shoulder and kept walking. I had to make an extra stop at a different pet store, but I don’t regret it.)

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