My company recently bought some at-home tests for a certain contagious illness. I am NOT a medical professional, but I have somehow been elected to the glorious position of contact tracing anyone who takes a test.

[Employee] comes to my office with his mask below his chin, sniffling and wiping his nose with his hand. I hold out a box of tissues and pinch my own mask tighter.

Me: “Pull your mask up.”

Employee: “I need a test.”

Me: “That’s fine, but you need to wear your mask while you’re not testing.”

Employee: “Ugh. Fine.” *Pulls it up under his nose* “Happy?”

Me: “No. Do it right.”

He makes a show of pulling his mask up properly and pinching the nose.

Employee: “Okay?!”

Me: “Yes, thank you. Read and sign this, please.”

I hand him the form everyone has to sign to take one of these tests. Basically, it states that we are not medical professionals and this is not an official diagnosis but more of a guideline toward the next steps. It also states that if the test comes back positive, he will seek a second test paid for by our company at a medical facility, and if it comes back negative, it is up to him to decide if he wants a second test, which the company will also pay for. He signs and tosses the paper back at me.

Employee: “This is stupid. It’s probably just a cold. [Employee #2] is out there acting like I have the plague.”

Me: “You can take the test at that seat over there and wait for the results.”

[Employee] does as he is told. He waits for the timer before looking.

Employee: “This is bulls***. Give me another one.”

Me: “It’s positive?”

Employee: “Give me another one.”

Me: “No, you need to follow policy and go get tested at a testing site. I can book—”

Employee: “Give me another f****** test!”

Me: “Do you not trust that test?”

Employee: “No! It’s probably pre-programmed to say positive!”

Me: “Then what makes you think the next one won’t say the same thing?”

Employee: “I’m not going to get another test.”

Me: “[Employee], you don’t really have a choice. Can you provide proof of vaccination?”

Employee: “That’s none of your f****** business.”

It is, in this case, because it’s part of contact tracing, and the time he would have to quarantine is different depending on whether or not he is vaccinated.

Me: “Okay. I’ll just submit this report to Human Resources saying you aren’t willing to answer.”

[Employee] sat in the chair, glaring and sniffling. He wiped his nose one last time with the palm of his hand and, without breaking eye contact, wiped that snotty hand on the arm of the chair before leaving. I called building security to escort him from the property and notified HR that we had a potential positive case and that he refused to answer my question.

He tried to come back to work later that day and several other days, but he was refused access until he provided a negative test result. He never came back. I read the report from HR and found that he was not only unvaccinated, but he had also purchased a fake vaccine card to shorten his quarantine period. He was consequently released from his duties at our company.

I’m from the South but live in the Midwest at the time of this story. I work in a small town. A mobile clothing boutique is making a stop in town, so I go over there on my lunch break to check out what they have. I come back to work.

Coworker: “Did you find anything?”

I hold up a small bag.

Me: “There’s so much good stuff.”

Coworker: “Where are they parked? I’m going over there during my lunch.”

Me: “Up the road a bit, off of…”

I don’t live in town, so I draw a blank on the street name.

Me: “I forget the street name. But they’re not too far, probably a half-mile over yonder.”

I point toward the main road. My coworker looks at me like I have sprouted another head.

Coworker: “Yonder?”

Me: “Yep. Just follow the traffic. There were a bunch of cars pulling in when I left.”

Coworker: “No, no. What kind of word is ‘yonder’?”

Me: “Oh, I keep forgetting that I’m not in [State]. Yonder is just a word for ‘over there.’” 

Coworker: “But where is ‘yonder’?”

Me: “It’s a general term that I’m using because I don’t remember the street name.”

Coworker: “But WHERE?”

Me: “If you pass [Local Furniture Store], you’ve gone too far. Better?”

Coworker: “That’s all you had to say!”

She walked out. I sighed loudly.

The company I work for has a generic name for our industry sector. Imagine a floor-laying company called “Flooring Services”. I sometimes interview candidates for entry-level positions.

In this particular interview, we had just asked the candidate what their experience was in our industry, to which they’d given a reasonable answer. We then asked them what they knew about [Company]. They looked a bit frustrated but then started repeating what they’d already said in response to the previous question.

We thought maybe they had misheard our question, so we asked again what they knew about [Company]. Looking frustrated again, they started repeating their previous answer, rewording it slightly.

Me: “Thank you, but what we were hoping you could tell us is what you know about [Company] specifically?”

Candidate: “That’s all I know! I don’t know what else I can say about what I know about the industry!”

Me: “Yes, but… how about our company? Did you maybe have a look at our website or anything?”

Candidate: “Oh, no, I haven’t had the time for that. To be entirely honest with you, I don’t even remember what you’re called. I’ve sent out a tonne of applications and this is just one that I saw had come back with an interview offer.”

Me: “Ah.”

That was near the beginning of the interview. At least they were honest, but they didn’t impress us in the rest of the interview, either, so it was a no from us!

Years ago, when I worked in IT support, we had a company director who was quite “demanding”. I ended up being the only person in the office who dealt with him, mainly because our boss got fed up with him and nobody else had the patience to deal with him without getting angry.

One morning, this director phoned me with a query.

Director: “Hello, [My Name]. I need a favour. I have a friend who runs a charity teaching computer skills to children with disabilities, and he’s looking for a couple of old laptops. Do you have anything we can give him? I’ve cleared it with [My Boss].”

Me: “I’m not sure, to be honest. I know a couple of weeks ago we had two or three old laptops that had been decommissioned, but I don’t know if they’re still there or even if they still work.”

Director: “That will be perfect! Thank you!”

Me: “Now, hold on, [Director], I first need to look for them and test them. I cannot personally guarantee that we will have anything.”

Director: “Okay, well, have a look and let me know when you find them. I’ll be onsite later this afternoon.”

I ended up really busy and wasn’t able to get looking for the old laptops until after lunch. I checked all three of our storage areas — nothing! I even asked our SysAdmin, who confirmed that he’d taken one laptop for parts and the other two had likely been disposed of.

Of course, I tried phoning [Director] to tell him but got no answer.

Later that day, [Director] turned up.

Director: “Right, [My Name], what about these laptops you have for me?”

Me: “Well, [Director], unfortunately, I don’t have anything for you. I had a look in our storerooms, and everything we did have has either been salvaged for parts or disposed of.”

[Director] was angry at this point but not actually raising his voice.

Director: “You promised me that you had three laptops for me. I’ve promised my friend he could have them today!”

Me: “I didn’t actually promise you anything. I said we might have old laptops but I needed to check.”

Director: “This is not very professional. You’ve made me look bad in front of my friend, who does very important charity work.”

Me: *Thinking* “Well, why the h*** did you promise something like that to your friend?”

Me: *Out loud* “Well, [Director], I’m sorry about that.”

[Director] repeated his complaint about me being unprofessional and walked out of the office. As he left, our intern piped up:

Intern: “Maybe he shouldn’t make promises he can’t keep?”

This was just one of the many things [Director] did that caused me endless frustration in the process. But when he retired about six months before I left the company, I went to the retirement party, and just after receiving his retirement gift, he came over to see me, shook my hand, and apologised for being so demanding. In spite of my “unprofessionalism,” I clearly managed to stay in his good books!

I am a stay-at-home mom. I’m trying to make my toddler lunch and then get her down for a nap. My husband is currently working from home since his office hasn’t reopened. Someone knocks on the door. I answer and it’s a solicitor. We do have a “no solicitors” sign.

Solicitor: “My name is [Solicitor] and I’m with [Window Company]—”

I put my hand up slightly and cut him off. 

Me: “Hey, sorry. Right now really isn’t a good time. We’re not interested. We don’t own the house and can’t afford to buy new windows.”

I go to shut the door. He looks at me, annoyed. 

Solicitor: “Can I speak to the man of the household?”

I just stare at him before slightly chuckling. 

Me: “Excuse me? I am perfectly capable of speaking for this household, and I guarantee that I’m being a lot nicer than my husband would be. Now, get off my porch.”

He ended up coming back a few days later, and my husband answered the door. He immediately told him that I had already given an answer and slammed the door in his face.