Taking Meetings Like A Boss

, , , , | Working | May 28, 2017

(It’s 7:55 am on a Friday morning.)

Boss: “I have to go to a meeting.”

Coworker: “What kind of crazy person schedules an 8:00 am Friday meeting?”

Boss: “I did.”

Coworker: “Oh…”

They’re Both In The Wrong, Make No Bones About It

| Chicago, IL, USA | Working | May 28, 2017

(I work part time at a to-go buffet where you weigh the customer’s plate.)

Customer: *whips the Styrofoam box at me* “I got fried chicken in there; you ain’t going to weigh them bones!”

Me: *goes to weigh box*

Customer: “You ain’t gunna weigh them bones! I ain’t gunna eat the chicken bones!”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. I have to charge you the weight of the box.”

Customer: “You gunna make me pay for the chicken bones? What am I supposed to do with the bones?”

Me: “You could make a necklace out of them.”

Customer: “Huh?!”

(I repeated it. She demanded a manager and since it was only my first week and the manager had already had a stern talk with me the day before about how I wasn’t smiling, I got fired.)

Offering Some Charitable Advice

, , | Working | May 27, 2017

(While I don’t mind giving to charity, I don’t like how nowadays, callers will not identify themselves or use my first name. As a result, I tend to be very short with them.)

Caller: “Hello, [My Name]?”

Me: “Who is this?”

Caller: “I’m [Caller] with the [Charity].”

Me: “Okay, so next time, try starting with your name and organization; that’s basic phone etiquette. Also, use a title of address, such as ‘Ms.’ or ‘Miss’ and my last name. I don’t know you, so why should you greet me like a friend?” *hangs up*

Tall Order With A Fat Chance

| Denmark | Working | May 27, 2017

(I have worked at a fast food joint for over a year consecutively and I’ve been trying to get more hours unsuccessfully since the beginning. I do, however, have the responsibility for the store room because being 1.90 meters I can reach the top shelves. One day my boss informs me that ‘Arbejdstilsynet’ (the government’s office for working conditions) had come by while I was off.)

Boss: “So, yeah, they told us you are not allowed to stack the boxes above shoulder height.”

Me: “But I do stack them up shoulder height and no further.”

Boss: “Yeah, but the guy from ‘Arbejdstilsynet’ still complained.”

Me: “If you get in trouble over that again, just tell them I am 1.90.”

Boss: “I did; I told them ‘the storeroom manager is two meters tall.’ Shut them up.”

Me: “Hah, great… Wait, ‘storeroom manager’? Does this mean I am getting promoted?”

Boss: “Hah! Fat chance!”

Me: “Aww…”

Got The Cleanest Concrete In The Business

, , , , | Working | May 26, 2017

(I’m the bad employee in this situation. I work as a cashier at a home retail store, and one of the services that we offer during the summer months is a check-out till in our outdoor lumber run. Naturally, this building doesn’t get cleaned a lot, so in a few minutes of downtime, I’m wiping down the windows. A customer comes up behind me.)

Me: *seeing the customer* “Oh, hello. One moment, please.”

Customer: “Not a problem. It looks like you were on a mission there.”

(I put down my cleaning supplies, and turn to assist the customer.)

Me: “Sorry for the wait. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need to buy 30 bags of concrete.”

Me: “All right. We don’t have the codes at the register, so I’ve just got to walk down and scan it.”

Customer: “Not a problem.”

(I enter the quantity into the system, and then walk down to the concrete. Confidently, I reach out — and promptly spray window cleaner on the concrete. Looking down, I burst out laughing. I’d grabbed the cleaner instead of my scanner.)

Me: “Oh. I grabbed the wrong product by accident. If you’ll just give me a moment, I’ll get you rung through.”

Customer: “Don’t worry. It looks like it’s been a long day for you. Besides, it made my day.”

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