I get a call from my boss one morning:

Boss: “I don’t care what the news is saying, you’re coming in today.”

Me: “The news is saying that due to the snowstorm, the government is issuing a stay-at-home order and only essential journeys are necessary.”

Boss: “Driving to work is essential.”

Me: “[Boss], no offense, but no one is going to consider eating deli sandwiches today as essential. Driving on these roads today is a real risk.”

Boss: “You’re coming in and doing your job.”

Me: “No. I am more important than any job. You will have my job posted before my relatives can decide on an obituary. I’m staying home.”

I hung up and enjoyed my weather-induced day off.

I went to work at the deli the next day, and while the boss was nothing but angry stares all day, he didn’t say anything. Someone else had told him it wasn’t a good look to fire someone for not defying a government stay-at-home order.

I find a hair in my grilled burrito and pull it out of my mouth. I bring it and the food to the cashier.

Me: “I just found this in my burrito.”

Cashier: “Okay? What do you want me to do?”

Me: “Give me my money back, please.”

Cashier: *Takes the hair and holds it up between us.* “Yeah, that’s probably yours.”

Me: *Pointing.* “There’s still some extra hair inside. It’s grilled into the seam. How can I grill my own hair into the burrito at my table?”

The cashier sighs and calls the manager. The cashier tries to take my burrito away, but I hold on to it so that I can show the manager.

Manager: “You can’t expect me to fall for this. This is the oldest scam in the book.”

Me: “The hair is dark, mine is reddish blonde. It’s obviously not mine.”

Manager: “Look, call corporate so that they just give you a coupon or something. I’m not going to listen to your BS.”

I took a photo of the hair and burrito, walked out of there, and did indeed call their corporate line. They also did indeed try to placate me with some coupons for free meals, as if I was ever going to eat there again.

I responded that I wanted a refund, and I wanted that manager retrained, or the photo ends up being part of a one-star Google review. They gave me my refund and said they would retrain all the staff involved. Whether that happened or not, I don’t know, nor do I care anymore, since I will never go there again.

I’m not sure if I should have felt bad for these employees, or if they deserved what they got. You be the judge.

The Canada Day fireworks show in our little town was postponed until July 3rd due to the weather. The city’s annual celebration, the Salmon Festival, was also in full swing, including the carnival, which brings in a lot of people.

Now, it’s a Friday night, but the city core is dead due to everyone being either at the carnival (which closed at 11 PM) or at their chosen spot to watch the fireworks. Once 11:30 PM hits, though, the three restaurants in town that are still open get SLAMMED. Two of them are 24-hour but are drive-thru only after 11 PM. The other closes at midnight.

The fireworks ended at about 11 PM, and I walked home because waiting for the line of cars to get through the main road would have taken longer. I stopped at a sandwich restaurant at 11:10 PM, the only place whose lobby is open. When I walk in, everything is empty: no bread, toppings, cookies, nothing. I walked in to see four employees standing around talking and was greeted with “we have no bread left”. Not even a hello. They had been so slow all night that they had closed up early and were waiting for midnight to lock up.

I walked out, knowing they had no idea what was about to come. They clearly had no idea that the fireworks show had been rescheduled.

I sat outside, called a taxi to go the rest of the way, and watched the show. At 11:20 PM, the place was PACKED! I also checked, and they were still open to take orders on the app. For the next forty minutes, I watched them get swarmed and have to take everything back out and start baking bread.

They did finally get to close down, around 12:15 AM. My cab arrived right about then, and when the guys came out and saw me, they actually looked ashamed.

I get that sometimes it’s nice to close up early, but closing that early on a Friday? Come on now…

As I’m stocking the greeting card section, I notice something about the latest stock.

Me: “Why do the Father’s Day cards come in four packs?”

Coworker: “Hmm, I guess for when your mom doesn’t even know, and you want to cover all your bases?”

Me: “I’m not judging, it’s just… four seems very specific.”

Coworker: “They’re all different designs in the pack. Maybe it’s so you only need to buy one pack every four years?”

Me:* Sarcastic.* “It’s so nice to see fathers get the respect they deserve on Father’s Day.”

CONTENT WARNING: Injury detail.

I work as a cook at an assisted living facility. One day, I’m the morning cook, having been there since 5:30 AM. It’s after lunch, and I’m cleaning up, getting ready to go home, when the evening cook, who is known to be accident-prone, comes up to me.

Evening Cook: “Hey, [My Name].”

I look down, and he has a paring knife sticking out of his arm.

Evening Cook: “I tripped. Could you please go get one of them?”

“One of them” referring to the nursing staff. I go and get the nurse. She doesn’t want to risk pulling it out in case it hit a vein. The angle of the knife is fairly shallow, so she wraps the whole thing in gauze and has me drive him to the emergency room. My other coworker was on vacation, and my boss wasn’t able to come in, so I had to stay for the whole day, until about 7 PM.