And What’s The Name Of That Program That Processes Words?

, , , , , | Working | December 18, 2017

Highly-Trained Engineer: “What was the name of that program you told me? The one you run to get a system update?”

Me:System Update.”

(I present the engineer with a post-it note with “System Update” written, in quotes, on it.)

Highly-Trained Engineer: “I don’t need the sticky; I should be able to remember that.”

Keeping A Low Police-Profile

, , , , | Working | December 18, 2017

(My manager is an ex-cop, and lets me call the police if I have any problems. I work the overnight shift in a bad part of town. One day, a stranger comes in, acting aggressively, and demands that I open my till and give him money. I’m reasonably frightened because though I tell him to leave, he doesn’t listen. So I call the police to escort him out. Afterwards…)

Manager: “Was this guy really that scary?”

Me: “He kept demanding that I give him money. I thought he was a robber!”

Manager: *looks sceptical*

Me: “It was two in the morning!”

Manager: “Yes, but now all my cop friends are laughing at me!”

(Figuring out that the manager cared more about what his friends thought than of my own safety, I quit a few months later.)

A Bag Full Of Ignorance

, , , , , , | Working | December 18, 2017

(Out of everyone on our team, there is one man we’re almost certain is willfully ignorant. He moved to the US when he was two years old, and at the time this story took place, he was into his early thirties. In all the thirty-some years he lived in California, he never bothered to learn anything about the culture that surrounded him. It often ended in hilarity like this story. One quiet workday, when there is only a single customer in the store, and I’m chatting with a manager, the ignorant coworker shouts across several aisles:)

Coworker: “HEY, MANAGER! WHAT EXACTLY IS A ‘DOUCHE BAG’?!”

(The manager and I stare at him in shock. He has shouted so loudly the nearby customer literally dropped what she was holding and is staring at us, also shocked.)

Manager: “Err… ah…”

Me: “Are you serious?!”

(We all burst out laughing because we didn’t know how else to handle the embarrassing situation, while the ignorant coworker stood there and was utterly confused as to what was so funny. The manager later had to take the employee to the side and tell him that next time he ought to ask his random questions quietly, when he was on his break.)

The Training Has Hit A Block

, , , , , | Working | December 17, 2017

(The guy before me at the checkout has all his items on the belt, as well as the between customer’s separator block. The very young check-out girl picks up the separator block and waves it at the scanner. Obviously, nothing happens.)

Cashier: *looking puzzled* “I don’t have a price for this. I’ll have to call a supervisor.”

(The customer looks at me with a ‘what the h***?’ expression before turning to the cashier.)

Customer: “Don’t bother. I didn’t really want it anyway.”

Cashier: “Okay, have a good day!”

(Somehow, I felt her training hadn’t been quite adequate for a check-out cashier’s position!)

Enough To Give You Cart-Rage

, , , | Working | December 17, 2017

(I’m going in to buy a few groceries and notice the lot attendant pushing a lone short-cart from the parking lot toward the store.)

Me: “I can take that if you’d like. I need one anyway.”

(The attendant glares at me, pushing the short-cart all the way into the store, then parks it as far down the aisle of carts as he can.)

Attendant: “There. Get it yourself.”

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