The Last Jedi Meets The Last Straw

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

Over the winter break I went to see the new Star Wars movie with my brother and his fiancée. I was staying with our parents for the break, and my brother and his fiancée live thirty minutes from there so we decided to meet at a theater halfway between those locations. Neither of us had been to it before.

Ten minutes before the movie was to end, three people walked in and sat in a row in front of us. They all took out their cell phones and started checking texts and Facebook, and chatting with each other. It was incredibly distracting. I finally decided to stand up and get a manager to deal with them. On my way back into the theater I leaned over their seats and told them a manager was on the way. They all leapt up like they were on fire. When they turned to face me, I realized they were all in their late teens or early twenties and were wearing uniforms. They worked for the theater.

It turns out they were the cleaning crew. When we exited the theater, they were all standing by the door, looking down at their feet.

Taking Stock Of Your Laziness

, , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I come out of the back room with my hands full of toys. One of my new employees sees me struggling and comes to help me.)

Me: “Can you stock those walking dogs for me? I have a lot more stuff to bring out.”

Employee: “Sure.”

(I go to the back room to grab more stuff, and when I come out I see him at the front talking to another employee.)

Me: “Wow, that was fast!”

Employee: “Uh-huh.”

(I think nothing of it until an hour later when I go to sign out and see the dogs thrown haphazardly in the corner of the back room. I grab them and storm up the employee.)

Me: “We clearly have a different definition of what ‘stocking’ means.”

Won’t Lose Sleep Over Losing A Job

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I am a college student, working as a summer cleaner for my former school district along with three other students and the district custodians. I am paired up to work with another girl. Our task mainly consists of scraping gum off the desks and moving said desks out of the classrooms so the custodians can wax the floors. This girl has been known for wandering off and hiding in one of the classrooms so she can sleep while I do all the work. I go to my supervisors about it. A couple of weeks later, we are cleaning the gymnasium, and when I turn around to ask my coworker a question, I notice she is lying on the gym floor, sound asleep and snoring. Right at that moment, my supervisor and the head custodian walk in to check on us and see her sleeping on the floor. Then, they look at me. My supervisor looks irritated because he has caught her many times sleeping on the job after asking her not to, but the head custodian looks amused and smiles. As my supervisor goes over to wake her, the head custodian stops him.)

Head Custodian: “Don’t wake her up; I have an idea. [My Name], go to the supply cart and pretend you’re looking for something.”

(I don’t ask any questions, so I walk over to the supply cart and bend down to get a garbage bag, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him walk up behind her and start to yell, “FIRE! THERE’S A HUGE FIRE IN THE BUILDING! GET OUT NOW!” My coworker jumps up, startled, and when she sees the head janitor and our supervisor standing in front of her, she goes white in the face.)

Head Custodian: “I think we need to have a little talk, [Coworker]. This has been going on for way too long and is getting out of hand. [My Name], do you think you will be all right by yourself?

(Trying not to laugh, I nod, and my supervisor smiles at me.)

Supervisor: “Poor [My Name] is so used to working by herself by now, and she always does a great job, too. She will be more than fine!”

(As they left, I went back to work and when it was time for lunch, I informed my other two coworkers what happened. When I was about to clock out for the day, my supervisor informed me that they would be bringing in someone from another building to work with me because they had decided to fire my coworker. I worked this summer job for three years, and every year I made sure to warn any of the new employees not to fall asleep on the job, especially when the head custodian was around!)

Their Cold Heart Is In Need Of Some Heating

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I work in an office with two coworkers. [Coworker #1] is a nightmare to work with. She constantly needs nudging, telling, reminding, you name it, about her tasks. One afternoon on a freezing day, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Elderly Woman: “Oh. Is that not [Nationwide Gas Supplier]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; it’s [Business]. What number did you dial?”

Elderly Woman: “Oh. I’ve been trying to find their number for a while, and it’s so cold here. I put it down somewhere. Hang on… It was [number].”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but our number’s [number with one digit different]. It’s very similar.”

Elderly Woman: *sounds like she’s about to cry* “I see. Okay. I’ll try again. Thank you so much.”

Me: “No problem; goodbye.”

(Twenty seconds later, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help?”

Elderly Woman: “Hello, dear, I can’t get my boiler working. Would you send someone please?”

Me: “Hello again, madam. This is [My Name] at [Business]. We spoke a minute ago? Did you misdial again?”

Elderly Woman: “Well, I thought I did it right.” *starts dialling the number with me still on the line* “There’s zero…” *presses zero for about five seconds* “And eight…” *presses eight for a few seconds* “And—”

Me: “Madam? I’m sorry, I’m still on the line so it won’t work; plus, when you do redial, you only need to tap the numbers, not hold them down for so long.”

Elderly Woman: “Ah, I see. Okay. I just tap the numbers and it’ll work.”

Me: “Yes, it should do. Good luck!”

(We say our goodbyes, hang up, and then twenty seconds later, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help?”

Elderly Woman: “Oh, hello again, dear. I seem to be struggling here, don’t I? I’m so sorry to trouble you again. I’ll just go and—”

Me: “Hello again. No, don’t worry; it’s fine. Did you say your boiler was broken before?”

Elderly Woman: “Yes. It broke last night, and I can’t seem to find anyone to come and have a look at it for me. It’s cold today, isn’t it? Boilers always seem to go when you need them the most, don’t they?”

Me: “They certainly do, yes. Look, give me the number you were going to call, and I’ll call them for you. And if you give me your name, address, and number, I’ll get them to send someone round to you. How does that sound?”

Elderly Woman: “Would you? You will? Oh, my word. That sounds fine; thank you so much!” *then she hung up*

(Luckily, I have the 1471 service on my phone line, so I get her number, call her back, explain who I am, that I need her details to pass to the boiler people, and so forth. I then call the boiler people, explain the situation, tell them there’s a confused and vulnerable elderly lady there without a working heating system, and that she can’t even manage to use her phone. The call centre chap is fine with it and tells me he’ll sort it out. I give it 15 minutes, then call the old lady back. She’s been contacted by the boiler chap, and a visit is scheduled for later in the day. All done; old lady is happy, and we end the call. I put the phone down.)

Me: *to both coworkers* “Phew. I’m glad to be getting back to typing, after all that.”

Coworker #1: *in a snappy tone* “I don’t know why you did that! It’s not your job to do that! You wasted your time doing all that!”

Me: *looks at her for a second* “Right. First of all: are you telling me you’d leave a vulnerable person with no heating when there’s something you could do about it? And secondly, since when did you, you, of all people, get to tell me what is and isn’t my job, when you don’t even know what your own is? I’ll tell you what; when you start pulling your weight, we’ll discuss what my job entails.”

(I stomped off for some fresh air; I was so annoyed.)

“The Story Of Tonight” Lasts A Little Longer

, , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

Coworker: “Do you like musicals?”

Me: “I listened to nothing but Hamilton for eight months.”

Coworker: “Wow. Okay.”

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