Using The Emergency Line

, , , , | Working | September 20, 2018

(I work at a gas station. There’s a strict rule not to call my boss during third shift unless it’s absolutely necessary because she works the opening shift. Around one am, I give her a call.)

Boss: *groggy and cranky* “Is there an emergency?”

Me: “A car was on fire by the pump. I put it out and called the fire department. They’re here. Pumps are shut off.”

Boss: “I— Yup, that’s an emergency, all right.”

(Glad she agreed!)

Not Really Feline Your Prejudice

, , , , , | Working | September 20, 2018

(I’m a veterinary technician, and at times I also cover the phones. I receive a phone call from a pet rescue group asking for information on the previous and current pets of a client who filled out a form to adopt a cat from their group. The client has given us permission to release any information.)

Me: “They’ve previously had two pets with us, and everything looks up to standards; they were up-to-date on vaccinations and neutered and spayed.”

(Usually just this is enough information.)

Woman: “So, they no longer have pets? Did they not take care of them? Did they give them away? Because, you know, I just want to make sure. This is a young couple.”

Me: “Um… They never missed an annual exam, they never refused vaccines or treatments, and it looks like their pets died of generic, age-related illness.”

Woman: “Hmph. I’m just not sure.”

Me: “Honestly, they are as perfect as clients as you can get. They even bought their flea, tick, and heartworm prevention directly from us and never lapsed in giving it, even in the winter. This cat will be going to a loving home.”

Woman: “Well, I think I’m going to deny their application. They just got married, so they’ll probably have a baby soon and then toss the cat out.”

(In hindsight, I should probably have asked for her name and reported her to her superiors. It was six years ago and it still upsets me!)

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Your Pay Is Horrific

, , , , , , , | Working | September 20, 2018

(Today is Thursday the 12th, and the company payday is tomorrow. In an attempt to make reference to the Jason Voorhees slasher films, I see one of my coworkers and go right up to him.)

Me: “Oh, hey, tomorrow is 9/11!”

Coworker: “Wait… What?”

(I stammered and explained that I was trying to say, “Tomorrow, we get paid on Friday the 13th.” How horrifying.)

Doesn’t Resume After Factory

, , , | Working | September 19, 2018

(I recently moved to a new state, and I figure I’ll check out the local labor office to see what information they have on employment.)

Representative: “What was your last job?”

Me: “Four years at [Factory]; two as a temp, and two as a full-hire.”

Representative: “This is quite a long resumé.”

Me: “I also had over ten years in the military.”

Representative: “Well, I’ve made you an account on our system and put your information in there. Here’s a list of companies that are hiring, as well.”

Me: “Thanks!”

(Later that day, I logged in to the account, changed the password, and reviewed the “resumé” she’d made for me. Despite having my resumé to look at, [Factory] was misspelled, and the “summary” of my work experience said that I only had four years experience total, when my true work experience is closer to twenty years. I wasn’t expecting her to fill out everything for me, but it just felt odd, like she’d stopped listening after knowing about my factory work.)

Taxing Faxing, Part 24

, , , , | Working | September 19, 2018

It’s the end of the day, and I need to fax a prescription into the pharmacy for a patient. I call the main phone and get transferred to the pharmacy line. After five minutes of loud, obnoxious music, I hang up and call again, choosing the regular line. I thought any person working there would know the fax.

The guy who answers sounds like Ted from Bill & Ted, and when I tell him I couldn’t get through to the pharmacy and ask for the fax, he immediately transfers me… to the pharmacy.

Another long wait.

I try the main number again, and Ted picks up again. I repeat my story, telling him not to put me through to the pharmacy, as no one is picking up. He hands me off to the manager standing there. I explain the situation again: I need the fax, waiting five minutes on hold, could I just get the info?

She says she’s going to run to the pharmacy and get it. Could I hang on a second? Sure! She transfers me to the pharmacy again. Really?

I call a third time and a very young woman answers. I explain my problem and she rattles off the fax number in a second. Should have taken a minute. Wish I’d called her first.

Taxing Faxing, Part 23
Taxing Faxing, Part 22
Taxing Faxing, Part 2017

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