They Are A Plus-Sized A**hole

, , , , | Working | September 18, 2019

(I am wandering along a mall and I see some jeans on clearance at what you would call a “hip” store, mostly aimed at teens and young adults. I like the jeans and their price but can’t find my size. I’m rather broad at the hips and upper legs, but not anywhere else. I walk into the store and approach an employee.)

Me: “Excuse me. Those jeans that are on sale outside — do you happen to have those in a size 44?” *size 14 in US sizing* “The closest I saw was size 40/42.”

Employee: *scans me up and down with a look of utter disgust* “We don’t ever carry that huge a size. Try at [Plus-Size Store].” 

(She hurried away after that, but not before shooting me another look over her shoulder that was dripping with revulsion. I get that my size is mostly on the tipping point between most ”regular” sizes and plus-size but… really?)

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Identity Crisis On The Dog Food Aisle

, , , , , | Working | September 18, 2019

(I frequent a store that sells pet food and farm supplies. Because I have only one dog, I buy food less than once a month. My family members are also customers occasionally, but much less often than I am. I lug my $40 bag of dog food to the counter.)

Cashier: “Your mom was just here!”

Me: *confusedly because my mom works much later than me and lives in a different state* “Really?”

Cashier: “Yeah! Why didn’t you have her buy your dog food?”

Me: “Well, we don’t live together.”

Cashier: “Okay! Your total is $40.”

Me: “Okay. Wait, don’t you need my phone number for the rewards program?”

Cashier: “I already put the number in!”

Me: *even more confusedly because they never remember my number* “Okay.”

Cashier: “You know what, I mistook you for someone else.”

(I took my $40 bag of food, sans rewards for all the cash I had just dropped, and left the store.)

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Turn That Filter Off And Your Phone Might Get Pregnant

, , , , , | Working | September 18, 2019

(Working in a cell phone provider’s store, I often get customers asking about their bills. I get one such customer: a lady in her thirties complaining she hasn’t received the email invoice this month. This is a common occurrence, and something that often happens is that the email has been picked up by the mail client’s spam filter. I attempt to ask her about this.)

Me: “Have you checked your sperm filter?”

(I immediately realized I’d said a bad word instead of “spam,” but decided to keep the conversation going, hoping she hadn’t noticed. She never said anything, the rest of the conversation was very awkward, and to this day I still don’t know if she heard what I really said or not.)

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The Only Heavy Lifting Required Is Getting Into Their Stubborn, Thick Head

, , , , | Working | September 18, 2019

(Months ago, I injured my back. The way it happened, combined with a few other issues, means it hasn’t healed yet. I’ve been told not to lift more than ten pounds to keep it from getting worse, which my managers are okay with. A customer orders some furniture, which is in the back. I radio for a coworker to get it since the pieces are over fifty pounds each. Another coworker on the next register gives me a look.)

Coworker: “Why can’t you go get it?”

Me: “Back injury. I can’t lift that much.”

Coworker: “I saw you lift some stuff the other day!”

Me: “I couldn’t have; I’m on restriction.”

Coworker: “I am, too, but I ignore it. You can’t just not do your job!”

(My customer jumps in.)

Customer: “She is doing her job! She’s making sure I still get what I’m wanting, while you harass her over something that’s probably none of your business!”

(My coworker didn’t talk to me for the rest of my shift. I gave the customer a small discount.)

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Taking The Lead In Abusing Power

, , , | Working | September 18, 2019

(Our lead cashier has only been at the store a few weeks longer than I have, but acts like she’s far superior to everyone else there. After a couple of months, it’s become apparent that she’s singling me out. Any time I leave the front, whether for a break or for other parts of my job, she calls over the radio and harasses me about where I am and what I’m doing. She also refuses to call me by my nickname, which I go by for personal reasons. There’s a lot of other things she does to me specifically, and I finally get tired of it. I find the store manager and we go into her office for a meeting. I explain everything that’s happened.)

Manager: “I’ve somewhat noticed her calling you out more, but I’ve assumed it’s just been busy up front and you forgot to tell her where you went.”

Me: “No, I always tell her what I’m doing before I leave. She always says I don’t, though.”

Manager: “Okay, I’ll talk to her—”

(As if on cue, the lead cashier gets on the radio.)

Lead: “[My Name], where are you?! You can’t run off every time the line goes down!”

Manager: *pause* “Do you want to take your break now?”

(The lead cashier got written up after refusing to stop harassing me. The manager also made sure to schedule me for when the lead wasn’t working, or in a separate department.)

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