This Coworker Is Not Your Cup Of Tea

, , , , , | Working | October 19, 2018

(I’m part of a special projects team. We’re assigned to work on two separate projects. The problem is, they both have their weekly meeting at the same time, one in the conference room upstairs and the other downstairs. My team is three of us, so we split two and one to cover both meetings and trade off who has to be alone. This week is my turn solo. We’re also good friends. My team lead assembled us on purpose; we all work well together.)

Coworker: “So, what was the fight with [Team Lead] about?”

Me: “What fight?”

Coworker: “Sure, I know you can’t say bad things about your boss. What happened?”

Me: “We’re fine.”

Coworker: “Then why isn’t she in here with you?”

Me: “[Team Lead] is with [Other Team Member].”

Coworker: *like he’s won a point* “Exactly!”

Me: “You know we work on [other project], too, right?”

Coworker: “Yeah. I’m not stupid.”

Me: “So, they’re in the meeting for [other project] downstairs.”

Coworker: “Exactly! They’re off together without you because you had a fight with [Team Lead].”

Me: “…”

Coworker: “See? I’m smart; I notice things. [Team Lead] picks fights with you guys every couple weeks, and by next week, she’ll be mad at [Other Team Member] and leave him all alone!”

(I debate trying to explain that you cannot divide three people evenly into two locations, and then give up.)

Me: “You’re right. Don’t tell anyone else. [Team Lead]… drinks green tea. I couldn’t be around that. Black tea is the only true tea.”

Coworker: *nods, winks, actually lays a finger alongside his nose* “I getcha.”

(I told my team at lunch break and they bought me a sympathy cookie for dealing with him.)

Marketplace Disgrace

, , , , | Working | October 18, 2018

Me: “I’ll have the turkey, lettuce, and avocado sandwich, please.”

(The employee makes my sandwich and writes the cost for a turkey sandwich, extra for avocado, on the wrapper.)

Me: “This is a ‘Marketplace sandwich,’ without the Swiss cheese. Why are you charging more?”

Employee: “How did you order it? Did you order a Marketplace sandwich?”

Me: “No. I see what happened. I ordered the components… but it’s exactly the same, except the cheese.”

Employee: “You should have ordered a Marketplace sandwich.”

Me: “Okay, yes, I understand, but can’t you just rewrite the price?”

Employee: “I can’t charge you for a Marketplace sandwich if you didn’t order one.”

Me: “But it’s the same thing.”

(The employee then THREW AWAY THE SANDWICH and proceeded to make a Marketplace. I was speechless.)

Paper Recycling Has Become A Toxic Task

, , , , , , , , | Working | October 18, 2018

I used to work in the credit department for a regional department store. My job was attached to the collections department, but I wasn’t a collector. We had a dress code, which was ignored by the collectors. Since we weren’t the only business in the building, we had a code of conduct to prevent swearing in the elevator or the lobby. That was also ignored, also without consequence.

The high point came with the paper-recycling bin. Each group had a large rolling bin to put paper in for recycling, which was picked up weekly by an outside company. One group of collectors used theirs for garbage, including fruit remnants and packaging, and the recyclers refused to touch it. Since it wasn’t in the trash bins located at each desk, the janitorial staff wouldn’t touch it, either.

It sat there and rotted until complaints got to the VP. I was told to take it down three floors on the elevator, wheel it across the street and over a block to the store, dump it in the compact, and bring it back. I tried making the point that this wasn’t my job, that I’d had no part in creating the problem, and that it should be fixed by the people that did create it, but that didn’t fly.

I did as instructed, and parked the stinking bin — rancid juices streaking the sides, flies orbiting around it — in front of that supervisor’s desk, and told her she could clean it.

If At First You Get Some Ice…

, , , , | Working | October 18, 2018

(As a younger teen than I am now, I went to an amusement park I haven’t been to for a while. The old restaurant I used to love is re-skinned and has new ideas. The cuisine is mainly the same, so I order my usual.)

Me: *at the counter* “I’m order 123.”

Server: “[Soda], no ice, and a bacon double cheeseburger?”

(She hands me a [soda] filled to the brim with ice. I look it over once and alert her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I asked for no ice but this one has ice, and umm–”

Server: “Oh, no worries. I’ll get you a new one.” *to her coworkers* “I have a [soda] with ice if necessary.”

(She fills another cup with ice and begins to pour in the [Soda] before looking down and apologizing to me.)

Server: *to coworkers* “I have another one if you guys need it.”

(Once again, she filled a cup with ice and poured in the [Soda] without looking down. After this attempt, I got my [Soda] with no ice and left the restaurant with a smile on my face.)

Should Just Try And Brush This One Off

, , , | Working | October 18, 2018

(My office shares a bathroom with four other offices. I am walking to the restroom when I hear this exchange.)

Woman #1: *panicked voice* “The brush is missing!”

Woman #2: *concerned* “What do you mean the brush is missing?”

(I assume they are talking about a hair brush and move on to do my business. As I am peeing, they rush in.)

Woman #2: *shouting* “THE BRUSH WAS IN HERE! SOMEONE MUST HAVE TAKEN THE BRUSH!”

Me: “…”

Woman #1: “Well, it is missing now! I guess the commode will just remain filthy!”

Woman #2: *quieter but still angry* “I saw it earlier. I thought about cleaning up the mess for five seconds, but didn’t.”

Woman #1: “I don’t know what is happening to this place. It is really going downhill! This place is so disgusting!”

Me: *scuttles out*

Women: *glares accusingly at me*

(And that is how I learned two of my office neighbors have OCD and another suffers from kleptomania. Most awkward hand wash ever.)

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