Cents-less Mathematics

, , , , , , | Working | September 24, 2017

(I am working at a sandwich shop part time, and having been there longer than most of the other staff, the general manager trusts me to know all of the cash register balancing procedures, and even train new managers, even though I don’t have the clearance to do the steps myself. A sandwich costs $7. Chips alone cost $1.50, and soda alone costs $2. Chips and drink combo added to the meal costs $2.50. I accidentally ring a guy up for the sandwich and his chips, but forget to hand him a cup and ring him out for a drink. [We were chatting, and we got distracted.] Rather than swipe his credit card again, he has a dollar ready in-hand, but in order to finish the transaction I need a manager override, which requires the manager to open the drawer with a fingerprint scanner. [Welcome to the future, guys.] I call over the manager on duty, a new hire, and explain the situation.)

Me: “He wants to add a drink to make it a meal, so he owes us a dollar for the cup. All we have to do is open a manager override, do a price override so the soda costs $1 instead of $2, and in the manager notes select ‘Customer Satisfaction.’”

Manager On Duty: *brushes me off* “I’ve got this.” *to the customer* “Sir, I need your credit card.”

(She swipes his card, refunds the whole transaction, swipes his card again, and charges the total of the chips and the sandwich. Then she swipes his card again to refund the order, leaves to grab a calculator, adds a bunch of numbers together, rings up the order with the sandwich and chips again, and stares, dumbfounded, at the computer. The whole process takes about five minutes. All the while, the customer and I are just staring at each other and at her in silence.)

Me: “[Manager], the difference is one dollar—”

Manager On Duty: “I said I got this. Uh… that will be forty cents, please.”

(The customer hands her his dollar and gets sixty cents back in change.)

Me: “Why did you–“

Manager On Duty: *waving her hand dismissively* “You just don’t get it. It’s simple math. I’ll explain it later.”

(She never did explain it…)

Dummy Knobs For Dummies

, , , , , | Working | September 24, 2017

(I’m purchasing hardware for our new front door.)

Me: *to guy working in the hardware department* “Excuse me, can you answer a probably-obvious question about doorknobs?”

Hardware Guy: “Sure.”

Me: “We’re installing a new door. I’ve got this keypad-operated deadbolt so that we don’t have to worry about locking ourselves out anymore. Since the deadbolt has a keypad and an actual key, I don’t think we need a locking door-knob, as well, right? So… here’s just a plain doorknob with no lock on it. It’s labelled ‘hall/closet,’ but can you think of any reason why I can’t use it on an exterior door?”

Hardware Guy: “Well, it’s for interior doors because it doesn’t have a lock on it.”

Me: “Yeah, I get that. But I don’t need it to have a lock on it, because I’m buying a separate keypad deadbolt. What I’m asking is if, like, the metal is for some reason not designed for exterior elements. See, this one looks exactly like the doorknobs with keys that are labeled as ‘entry’ doorknobs, same metal and everything, so I’d think they’d handle the weather just as well, yeah?”

Hardware Guy: “Those are entry doorknobs because they have a lock and key. This one doesn’t have a lock, so it’s for interior doors.”

Me: “…yes, I can read the labels. Let me start over. I need a knob for my front door, but I don’t need it to have a lock. So, I’m asking if I can just use this ‘hall/closet’ one. Can you think of any reason it won’t hold up to exterior conditions or whatever?”

Hardware Guy: “If you don’t need it to lock, why don’t you just use a dummy knob, then?”

Me: “Hm… maybe. Wait, what do you mean by a dummy knob?”

Hardware Guy: “Just a knob bolted to the door. It doesn’t turn, since it’s just there as a handle.”

Me: “Uhhh… no… the door still needs a doorknob to latch the door. We’re not just going to keep the deadbolt locked anytime the door is shut.”

Hardware Guy: *clearly tired of me* “Well, why don’t you just buy the entry knob with a lock then?”

Me: *sighing* “Well, I’d rather not since it’s just one more key to keep track of, and we might accidentally lock the doorknob from the inside and then lock ourselves out of the house. Hence, the deadbolt with a keypad; it locks when we need it to lock, but we can’t lock ourselves out.”

Hardware Guy: “I still think that what you’re looking for is a dummy knob.”

Me: *muttering* “You’re a dummy knob…”

(I wander off and find an older no-nonsense-looking woman working in the next aisle over. I ask her the same question; does she know if there is any reason why this key-less interior doorknob wouldn’t work on our exterior door?)

Hardware Lady: “If you want to re-tool the lock, you’ll have to go see [Other Employee] in the door department.”

Me: “What? No, I don’t need to re-tool anything. I’m just trying to make sure that this doorknob will be okay on an entry door.”

Hardware Lady: “Oh, we sell entry doorknobs with their own keys. Did you look in the door hardware section?”

Me: “…yes. I just said I don’t need an entry doorknob with a lock, since I’m buying this keypad deadbolt. It opens with a code, or with its own key, so the doorknob itself doesn’t need to have a lock on it.”

Hardware Lady: “Well, don’t you want the key to be the same for your other door?”

Me: “…what other door?”

Hardware Lady: “Your back door. Don’t you want the keys to be the same?”

Me: “Our back door just locks from the inside… wait, never mind. This isn’t about my back door.”

Hardware Lady: “I guess I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s obvious.”

(I bought the doorknob.)

Have The Sudden Impulse To Leave

, , , , , | Working | September 23, 2017

During my time at university, I was desperately trying to find work so I wouldn’t just be relying on student finance, which helps a lot, but just isn’t always enough as a my sole source of money.

It was in December, during Christmas break, and my money had all but dried up, I had very little left until my next loan was due to come in. I applied for a sales position that focused on credit cards, Netflix subscriptions, etc., and was told to come for an interview at their offices.

When I got there, however, we spent maybe five minutes in the office before we were moved out and told we had to get on a bus. Desperate for the possible job, I reluctantly took my last £10, which was meant to be for food shopping, out of the bank and paid for a ticket. They had us do some math questions to test our competency, which I, again, thought was weird to do on the bus.

Once we got to our destination, the interviewers took us to a cafe, sat us down at tables and talked to each of us individually, eventually giving us sheets to fill out while they left for the shopping centre around the corner, where they were doing their selling.

As I was filling out my form, one of the cafe workers came up to me and said I couldn’t sit there because I hadn’t ordered anything. I wasn’t about to spend the last of my money on just a drink or a sandwich or whatever, when it was for my food shopping, so I went to sit with one of the other people being interviewed who had ordered something.

When the sales workers came back, I was told I wasn’t allowed to sit with the others anymore, because the interview was us all competing, so we couldn’t talk to each other. Even after I explained the fact I wasn’t allowed to sit by myself without ordering anything, I was just told to figure it out.

They left again, for their oh-so-precious sales, leaving me in the dust with the cafe workers angrily glaring at me.

At this point, I was completely embarrassed and upset.

When the sales workers come back once again, the guy interviewing me said something that  was my final straw: “Now, when we’re out selling, what we’re looking for is impulsive people…”

In my mind, I instantly figured that to mean, “We’re looking to take advantage of people who have little self-control over what they buy.”

That’s when I told him that I couldn’t do it anymore and left. Even though it was an ordeal, and I was one of the two people left (it was sort of knock-out elimination; at each stage someone was asked to leave and not continue with the interviews), I just couldn’t go through with having a sales job that hounded on people like that.

Minimum Balance For Maximum Charge

, , , , | Working | September 23, 2017

I used to work at a bank as a teller, then in their main offices. During this time I did not do my personal banking with them. While I was working there, they started an initiative to get all the employees to move their accounts from their old banks to them. As a reward, they would “be able to expedite the processing of paychecks,” so we would get paid a whopping one day earlier.

The only problem was, this same bank severely underpaid its staff and, because this particular bank was made for higher-end customers, the employees would never be able to meet the minimum-balance requirements. Sadly, not every employee saw through this obvious trap, and they were hit with a lot of minimum balance charges.

This was only one of many ways in which this particular business tried to screw over its own employees.

Remember, if you work for a larger company, always take what they tell you with a grain of salt. Their priority is money, nothing else.

Some People Just Play House

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2017

(My husband and I have bought a house. It is a show-home, and because of this, the builder has to keep it “on display” for six weeks after we close the deal. This happens on the day that we finally move in. We’ve been unpacking all day, and have decided to take a lunch break in the driveway. A car pulls up outside, a lady gets out, and she walks briskly past us up to the front door.)

Me: “Hello! Can we help you?”

Realtor: *stopping dead and staring at us* “What are you doing here?”

Me: “Having lunch.”

Realtor: “You can’t be here! Please leave.”

Husband: “Why would we do that?”

Realtor: “Well, for one thing, you’re trespassing. For another, I’m about to show this house to a client.”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Realtor: “What do you mean?”

Me: “This is our house.”

Realtor: “EXCUSE me?”

Me: “This is OUR house. As in, we bought it, and we’re moving in today.”

Realtor: “WHAT? Nobody told me! I made arrangements several days ago for today’s showing!”

Husband: “Well, we signed the paperwork six weeks ago, so…”

Realtor: “This can’t be right. Are you sure you’re at the right place?”

Me: “Um, yes.”

Realtor: “…can I still show the house to my client?”

Husband: “What? Of course not!”

Realtor: “FINE!”

(She drove off in a very bad mood.)

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