Double-Cheque Your Knowledge

, , , , , , | Working | March 22, 2018

(I am ringing up a woman’s purchases. She tries to pay with a cheque, but we’ve not accepted cheques for years.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept cheques.”

Customer: *immediately on the defensive* “I rang you up earlier to ask if you accepted cheques and was told you did.”

Me: “You didn’t speak to me, because I would have told you that we didn’t. We haven’t accepted them for years.”

Customer: “I spoke to someone; it must be one of them.”

(I ask the staff if they’ve spoken to someone today regarding accepting cheques and am told no. The woman is still ranting and raving.)

Me: “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll make a call.”

(I call our regional manager and explain the situation.)

Manager: “I can’t okay this, but try calling [Security Manager]. We used to take cheques. I know we had to get authorisation from the bank and the customer needed to supply proper ID. The customer also can’t take the purchases until the cheque is cleared.”

(Just then, I hear the customer saying something.)

Customer: *still ranting* “Now I have to tell my son his cheque is wasted.”

(I mention that to the manager.)

Manager: “No, no, no! We have never taken cheques unless they are presented by the account holder with proper ID. Don’t bother wasting [Security Manager]’s time.”

(I pass the information on to the customer, who ends up buying the items with her card before leaving, still ranting.)

Me: *to coworker* “I wish I knew who told her that we accept cheques.”

Coworker: “We do take cheques, but they have to have ID.”

Me: “We don’t accept cheques.”

Coworker: *who has worked for us for eight years* “Since when?”

Me: “For well over six years. Was it you who told the customer we did? You said no when I asked.”

Coworker: “You said today; I told someone yesterday.”

His Humor Is Number One!

, , , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(My seven-year-old son and I are picking up some photo prints I submitted online.)

Son: “Where’s the number thing?”

Me: “We don’t need to take a number. We are the only ones here, so we are next. We’re number one.”

Photo Department Guy: “Number two? Can I help number two?

Me: *snort laugh*

(Dish)Wash Your Hands Of This

, , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I apply for a dishwashing job. They call me for an interview. A guy that introduces himself as the manager greets me.)

Manager: “After this interview, you’ll have a second one and then a third. We’ll also need five references.”

Me: *knowing that this isn’t standard procedure* “Really? For a dishwasher?”

Manager: “Yes! We want to hire the best!

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I give him the references and the interview ends. Weeks go by and I hear no more of him, so I assume that he’s no long interested. I find another job. MONTHS later, he calls me.)

Manager: “Hellooo! How are you?”

Me: “I’m fine.”

Manager: “Well, I wanted to tell you that only four of your five references answered, so I’ll need another one.”

Me: “Really? You waited months to tell me?”

Manager: “Of course!”

Me: “…”

(I told him that I was no longer interested and he was speechless. Really, what did you expect after months went by? I guess he thought I’d be waiting by the phone for his call!)

Need To Turn It On? Copy That!

, , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I work as a receptionist in a small company. Since the office space here is pretty small, the firms share some of the office equipment, including a copy machine that’s located right next to where I’m sitting. Each firm has their own code they need to input before they can start copying. It’s morning and I’m working away on my computer when I hear someone walking up to the copy machine. I ignore them, but then they start grunting aggressively, so I turn around and recognise one of the secretaries.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Secretary: “This machine isn’t working. The numbers aren’t showing up on the screen.”

Me: “Is it on? You’re the first to use it today.”

(She sheepishly looks at the side of the machine, face-palms, and presses the “ON” button. I turn back to my own work, but she speaks up again.)

Secretary: “It’s still not working. It shows dashes instead of numbers, and when I press the ‘start’ button, nothing happens.”

(I get up to look at the machine myself and immediately see what’s going on.)

Me: “You just forgot to use your code first.”

(Since I know all of the codes for work-related reasons, I quickly insert her firm’s.)

Me: “Here. Now you can use it.”

Secretary: “Oh, the numbers are back!”

(She then proceeds to put in the code I just inserted, and I barely manage to stop her from pressing “start.”)

Me: “Whoa, wait! I already unlocked it. You just nearly made over 700 copies.”

(She literally jumps back from the machine, then she hides her face in her hands, groaning.)

Secretary: “I shouldn’t have skipped my morning coffee.”

(We eventually managed to get the copies she needed. And after she got a late cup of coffee, her work quality increased drastically.)

Drilling That Fact Into Them

, , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(I go to a major hardware store chain to buy a mechanism to lock my window in place when it’s open. While wandering the aisles, I’m approached by a male employee. I’m female.)

Employee: “Hi, is there anything I can help you with?”

Me: “Yeah, I need to buy the mechanism that will lock my window in place when it’s open. My window is on the fire escape and I heard those mechanisms are good for safety.”

Employee: “I know what you’re talking about. Here. I’ll show you where to find it.”

(He takes me to the aisle where they are sold and helps me select the right one.)

Employee: “You will need a drill to install this. Do you know someone who owns a drill?”

Me: “I own a drill.”

(Awkward silence from the employee.)

Employee: “Sorry about that.”

Me: “Nope, no problem. Thanks for helping me find this!”

(Not only do I own a drill set, but I happen to love installing things around my apartment!)

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