I’m in a job interview with a potential employer.

Employer: “What sign are you?”

Me: “…Virgo, why?”

Employer: “I think we will work well together!”

I am a woman working in an office where all the upper management are men. There is a lot of “boy’s club” banter between them, which if repeated might make a few eyebrows rise, but it’s nothing too outrageous.

The time has come for me to finally get my dream car. I pull up into the office parking lot on Monday, and I am exiting the car at the same time as two of my managers.

Manager #1: “Is your car in the shop, [My Name]?”

Me: “No, this is my car.”

Manager #2: “So, you’re borrowing your husband’s car?”

Me: “No, this is my car. I bought it… for myself.”

Manager #1: “That’s a whole lotta car for a little lady like yourself.”

Me: “Funny, I was going to say the same thing about yours.”

I thought I was engaging in their boy-club banter, but apparently, no girls are allowed. By the afternoon, I am summoned into a meeting by Human Resources.

HR Rep: “It’s come to our attention that you said something offensive to another employee.”

I’m genuinely confused at first.

Me: “What did I say?”

HR Rep: “It was something sexist in nature.”

The penny drops.

Me: “Oh! Are you talking about what was said in the parking lot? Where I repeated exactly what was said to me back at the person who first said it?”

HR Rep: “Well, we can’t go into detail about who—”

Me: “And so I assume you’ve already had the ‘slap on the wrist’ HR chat with that person, too, since I’m about to be punished for saying the exact same thing they said? Right?”

HR Rep: “There’s no need to be antagonistic.”

Me: “Isn’t it funny that when it’s a woman who needs to make a point, suddenly she’s being ‘antagonistic’? Back in the day, you would have used the word ‘hysterical.’ But anyway, so I am to assume that based on this chat, every time something sexist is said in the office, I am to report it to HR?”

HR Rep: “Well, yes. Any kind of discriminatory and offensive language should be reported to HR—”

Me: “Excellent! Well, give me my slap on my wrist, then. Read me whatever rules from a rulebook you need to, and I will be sure to uphold the company’s standards on ‘discriminatory and offensive language’ and reporting processes.”

I calm down a little after that, and I am “let off with a warning”.

I send a complaint to HR before the end of that very day when one of the managers jokes that I should pick which manager to flirt with now that the end-of-year reviews are approaching.

I send two complaints the very next day when one male coworker notices my lipstick is matching my nails (intentional!) and a manager says, “Why would you notice that? Are you gay or something?”, and before the end of the day when I am carrying a heavy box of paper to refill the copier and another male coworker says, “Do you need a man to carry that for you, darling?”

I make sure every complaint I send in has a witness who is willing to confirm my complaint.

Eventually, I am called into HR again!

HR Rep: “We’d like to discuss your recent spate of… complaints.”

Me: “I’m simply doing what I was advised: to report any kind of discriminatory and offensive language.”

HR Rep: “Yes, but you’re taking some things out of context. We can’t have you reporting every joke and innocent remark—”

Me: “Ooooh, that’s a slippery slope. Are you sure you want to start defining the difference between an HR reportable offense and an ‘innocent remark’?”

HR Rep: “Well, the staff handbook says—”

Me: “I know what it says. What you’re telling me, though, is that what it really means is when a man says something offensive, it’s just an innocent joke, but when a woman says it — sometimes repeats it word for word — it’s ‘discriminatory and offensive language’ and needs to be met with punishment.”

HR Rep: “We’ve discussed your recent attitude with—”

Me: “Let me guess. You’ve discussed with upper management, and you’ve decided to put me on probation, which will no doubt cost me any chance of a good score on my end-of-year review, and destroy a chance of a bonus and raise.”

HR Rep: “That’s not for us to discuss, but yes, it has been discussed that you should go on probation due to—”

Me: “Save your time. I quit. Consider this meeting me officially informing HR of my two-week notice. Good day.”

They tried to protest, but I up and left. Fuelled by anger and adrenaline, I left the office, went to my favorite diner, and downed my favorite sandwich while my brain tried to sort out what I had just done. My phone was ringing furiously, but I knew what they were going to say, so I ignored them.

I returned to the office after my impromptu lunch break and was immediately summoned into my manager’s office. He’d been made aware of the situation and calmly stated that perhaps putting me on probation was a bit drastic, and maybe we could discuss less damaging ways for me to “calm my attitude”.

I kindly asked if he would be having this discussion with me if I weren’t a project lead on a vital product, which I was hired for because I was the only one who knew the super niche third-party programming language said product was built in.

I walked out of that office and had a new job (thanks to niche programming language being on my resumé) in under a month. The last I heard from my ex-coworkers (the good ones) is that they had to delay their project by six months, missing a major deadline and costing all the upper management their bonuses that year.

All because of a “little lady” like myself.

On Monday, June 13th, I receive an email from [Vice President #1], who isn’t over my department. I am told that my team will be required to work on the Fourth of July. I politely tell her no; our team has been scheduled this day off and people already have plans. My team is the IT team, and the IT team gets shafted every time it can get shafted by any company.

Over the course of the week, I let my team know what is happening and that I have been reaching out to higher-ups to fix it. I also tell them that if their plans are ruined, I will make it right at work.

Over the course of three meetings, it starts to look like things will not go my way. In response, I send an email to the CEO of the company. All of my higher-ups know I intend to do this, and they say I should do it as he is very family-oriented and would not allow ANYONE to work on a national holiday.

Well, he is on vacation in the Bahamas until July sixth. But his assistant informs me that he will look at this after he gets back. I feel like repeatedly slamming my head into my desk.

I tell everyone that the holiday will be work-from-home and that we will be setting my cell phone as priority in the call routing, meaning I will get most of the calls. To be honest, I am expecting almost zero calls, especially since I was asked to send out a notification that IT support would cover the Fourth of July, and I never sent that email out.

A day later, I am given another outrage. I am told in an email from [Vice President #1] that my employees will be required to be at the office, and no one is allowed to work from home. They will be checking the door badge-ins to verify that we are at the office. I ask why in an email, and [Vice President #1] says that she wants to make sure no one is playing video games on the clock. We normally work from home about two-thirds of the week, and video game playing is a normal occurrence on the clock.

So, I walk into [Vice President #1]’s office. After a very long conversation where she is losing the logic war with me, she says:

Vice President #1: “It’s just IT; you guys don’t have lives.”

No, I am not kidding you; this is exactly what she tells me.

I report this to the vice president in charge of my department, [Vice President #2].

Vice President #2: “I will take care of this. It likely won’t be until after the fourth, so get creative.”

I know this man well. We have worked together a long time, and “Get creative” is code for corporate f***ery, so I go back to [Vice President #1].

Me: “Do you care if we have an office party?”

Vice President #1: “No, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the call flow.”

She even suggests using my new company card to pay for it, telling me, “Go wild.” Pro-tip: never tell me to go wild.

At this point, it is Tuesday, the 21st. I let everyone know what’s up, but I let them know that I have something planned. I ask who has or had plans for the holiday. Two people tell me they are planning to shoot off fireworks with their family, and the rest are planning BBQs with friends.

I write up an email to [Vice President #1] and [Vice President #2]. I tell them all that I’ve let everyone know that we are all expected to work until 8:00 pm on Monday, the fourth. Per the conversation with [Vice President #1], I will be having an office party as a sort of sorry to the guys and gals who got shafted by this decision.

[Vice President #1] replies.

Vice President #1: “Thank you for your understanding. Also yes, I would expect an office party if I had to work on the Fourth of July, as well, so go wild and enjoy your time. Use your new company credit card if you need to cover a few expenses. Also, I should not have to remind you or anyone else: no fireworks or alcohol on company property.”

Now, it is time to tell you about my office. A while back, the IT team was moved from the main corporate office into a smaller building by itself. It has a nice gaming break room, a decent-sized gym, and a full-on drink bar — soft drinks, mind you, no alcohol at work. Out back is a big patio that crosses county lines as soon as you cross a small creek — a creek that just so happens to have a footbridge over it leading to an empty field.

I start making phone calls.

On Monday, June 27th, I call up everyone into a meeting an hour before work starts. I explain to them all that I will be making things right. I ask everyone to invite their friends and family to the office. No supplies need to be brought by anyone. I tell them all that this will be a non-alcoholic party but that I will be planning something for everyone. I tell them to expect all food to be provided, and they don’t need to bring anything unless they want to bring some fireworks. They won’t have to spend a dime.

The Fourth of July comes, and the entire day, we do absolutely no work. No tickets and no calls come in. Well, seven calls do come in, but they’re all from the same person [Vice President #1]. She is calling to make sure we are manning the phones. All of us are playing video games or watching movies.

Six o’clock rolls around, and everyone is told that the food was ready.

People are expecting hot dogs, hamburgers, and maybe a bratwurst or two. What they get is a full-on BBQ feast with pizza and other foods. We have smoked brisket, spare ribs, smoked sausage, smoked turkey, both kinds of potato salad, coleslaw, green beans with bacon and onion, potatoes au gratin, pizza from two different places, excellent hamburgers, and bratwurst hot dogs. On the dessert side, we have cake, very good cookies, four different kinds of pies, and about two pounds of fudge.

Families and friends start showing up between 6:00 and 6:15ish. Some have brought alcohol, but I tell them they need to leave that in their cars as I am not THAT crazy. Some are not too happy about that but agree as it is a free dinner for random strangers.

So, let me set the scene for you. I am out there with all calls routed to my cell phone, and everyone is just having a good time. We have a TON of people there enjoying the fun night, chatting about random stuff, eating the food, and occasionally lighting off some sparklers or throwing firecrackers into the stream. (It’s not stocked with fish and is only a foot deep.)

[Vice President #2] shows up with his family and brings some water balloons for the kids… and the adults.

Around 8:30ish, it’s getting dark, and people want to shoot off more than the simple sparklers and firecrackers we have been using. [Vice President #2] has everyone cross the footbridge — over the county line and off company property — and we set up a big wooden board to use as our launch pad.

We fire off what we have for an hour or two and sort of just hang out for a little while. At around this time, people are tired and ready to head home. I tell people to take home leftovers, within reason. We all clocked out at 8:00, and no one leaves until about 10:30.

[Vice President #1] does call once more while we are out back at the party. It is 7:50 and she calls asking for a status update. My exact words are:

Me: “Well, you were the only one to call us today. The rest of us are on the back patio enjoying the Fourth of July shindig.”

She simply acts like my boss and says:

Vice President #1: “As long as no alcohol or fireworks are on company property, I do not care.”

We ate roughly half of the food catered; the rest was taken home. A small group volunteered to stay behind to clean up, including [Vice President #2]. We had a funny conversation about how this would make waves with the bosses, but he said he had my back and asked me how much this had cost. I just gave him a sideways look, which made him laugh.

On Tuesday morning, I submitted the expense report to [Vice President #2]. This email would inevitably make its way over to [Vice President #1] and up the chain to the CIO of the company. This Fourth of July party cost over $6,000, and because of it, new rules were put into place. Any expenses of $4,000 or more must be approved by the direct supervisor and the vice president over the department, and the full expense report must be sent to the finance department for review after the fact.

This was the most expensive office party in the history of the company. The only things more expensive than this were some business meetings for which the CEO rented private rooms in high-end restaurants.

As for the CEO, he was outraged — not at the cost of the party, mind you. He knew that the party would not have been necessary if people had been allowed to go home. He was outraged that IT was the only group required to work that day. When I submitted the logs showing how we received no real phone calls and no service requests and that we basically watched movies and played video games during our shift, he had heard enough. He apparently sent out a scathing email about work-life balance and the importance of our holidays to every upper management employee.

It was kind of funny as people wanted me to get in trouble for what I did, but the reality is that other departments have done similar things in the past, just not on the scale that IT did. [Vice President #1] was admonished quite effectively and sent me an apology email. I forwarded it to the team with a strong hint to not reply.

Then, [Vice President #2] let the CIO and the CEO know about what [Vice President #1] had said — “You guys don’t have lives.” [Vice President #1] did actually confirm that she’d said it in a meeting. It did not go over well. I have never heard people yelling in an office meeting like that before. The CEO of the company came to our office and YELLED at her.

I’m not sure if she was fired as of writing this on July 6th, but she was not at work today. I’m not 100% sure what happened to her, but I know she lost whatever clout she had at this company with her attitude.

And strangely, there is now no longer any pushback for my bid to get everyone back to working from home.

I am waiting at my gate in a very busy airport. I’m not sure about the details, but I think an earlier flight was canceled and this has resulted in an overbooking event for the flight I am currently witnessing boarding.

A gate attendant is talking to a young guy.

Gate Attendant: “I’m sorry, sir, but we need to reschedule your flight.”

Young Guy: “You’re bumping me? You can’t do that, I’m—”

Gate Attendant: *Cutting him off* “Sir, I know it’s frustrating, but due to unforeseen circumstances today, we have had to make a lot of rearrangements for a lot of passengers. It is now impossible to get you on this flight.”

Young Guy: “I understand, but I—”

Gate Attendant: *Cutting him off, again* “Sir! Please, I understand, but there is nothing I can do. Please stand aside while we sort out your travel arrangements.”

I see the young guy stand aside and start rustling through his backpack while I see this gate attendant start arranging luggage transfers, figuring out who will fly where, and getting him on another flight, as well as getting another family set up. The young guy tries to get her attention again while she is doing all this, but she continues to hold up her finger and tell him to wait.

When she finally stops, he hands her some paperwork that he has taken from his bag.

Gate Attendant: “Sir, please understand—”

Young Guy: “No, you please understand! You can’t bump me because I’m military and traveling under orders.”

I’ve never served, but apparently, they legally can’t bump you if you’re traveling under orders.

Her shoulders sagged, and she got on the radio and started undoing all she’d been doing and arranging everything to get him back on that flight.

I’ve worked in a lot of food service jobs. I’m also a little weird, and I record all my phone calls, because you never know when you’ll need to prove what someone said.

EVERY SINGLE FOOD JOB says, “Don’t come in if you’re sick — vomiting, fever, etc.” I would like to think that that’s basic common sense!

Me: “I need to call out. I have a fever.”

Boss: “That will seriously put us out. You need to come in.”

Me: “Isn’t that a direct violation of company policy?”

I mention the manual that backs me up.

Boss: “You need to come in or you’ll be written up!” *Click*

I called corporate and told them that a manager was threatening to discipline me for NOT breaking the rules — one of the upsides of working for a chain restaurant!

That manager was gone within a week.