Self-Inflicted Medical Leave

, , , , , | Working | December 14, 2018

(The store I work for has just started going through liquidation after the entire business has announced their closure. The company in charge of the liquidation has decided to hire some temps to help us move stock out to the floor and other odd jobs around the store. One of the temps seems a little shady, and my coworkers say he smells of alcohol. One day, while I’m on break, I can hear the one of the supervisors ask for one of the temps through my radio. No one has seen him, and I don’t think much of it. A little over an hour after my break has ended, the supervisor comes up to me.)

Supervisor: “Has [Temp #1] left the restroom yet?”

Me: “No. Is that where he’s been?”

Supervisor: “Someone saw him go in there two hours ago, and he hasn’t come out yet.”

Me: “I’ll keep an eye out.”

(No one ever sees the temp leave the restrooms. I even go in and call his name but get no response. I get pulled away by a customer so I can’t pay attention to him coming out. About ten minutes later, I hear this over my radio.)

Coworker: “Hey, [Manager], can you come to the restrooms real quick?”

Manager: “I’m with a customer right now; I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Coworker: “It’s an emergency. You need to get here now.”

(It turns out the temp was in one of the stalls the whole two hours we couldn’t find him. My coworker forced open the door and found the temp unresponsive. The manager called an ambulance to come get him. The next day I asked one of the other temps if they knew what happened to him.)

Me: “Hey, [Temp #2], do you know what happened to [Temp #1] yesterday?”

Temp #2: “The hospital said he was dehydrated.”

Me: “Really? That doesn’t sound right.”

(We talked a bit with him, implying that [Temp #1] had too much to drink on his break. [Temp #1] showed up the next day but was sent home. Management told him he needed a doctor’s note if he wanted to continue working with us, which we all knew he wasn’t going to get. The odd part was when we couldn’t find him, some of us were saying that he probably passed out on drugs in the bathroom. We didn’t know we were sort of correct.)

Strawberry Savings Forever

, , , , | Working | December 14, 2018

My mom prefers shopping for fresh produce at a particular small-chain grocery known for sales and low prices. I’m with her when we see a sign to buy two, get two free baskets of strawberries. We get the four baskets, finish shopping, and go to pay.

The cashier rings up the strawberries, only for it to show they are at regular price each. My mom points out the error, citing the sale. The cashier apologizes, explaining that sale was for the weekend only. My mom replies that she saw the sign, and asks if the sale is truly over.

We’re the only ones around at the moment, it being early, so the cashier goes to the produce section to check, and comes back with a sour look on her face. We hear her speaking into her walkie, asking where a particular worker is. The voice on the end says the worker is not on the premise, and she rolls her eyes. When she gets back to us, Mom asks if everything is all right.

Turns out, the particular worker whose job it was to change the weekend signs to weekday signs decided it was too hard, and also decided to take an early lunch break — it was barely nine am. The worker in question is the son of a manager, who wants their son to learn good working habits. Apparently, it isn’t sticking.

The cashier gives us the discount, anyway, not just on the strawberries but on several items. When Mom asks if there will be any trouble, she says it will just have to be the worker’s fault, because she can’t change all the signs and cashier at the same time, and the other employee is busy in the back. We thank her and head out, with over thirty dollars in savings. I don’t know what became of the lazy worker, but I hope they got their head on straight.

Racists Just Need Some Love

, , , , , | Working | December 13, 2018

(I work in customer service with a girl who is unfortunately very racist. When she’s not serving customers, I often have to hear her vile, disgusting, racist rants. To her credit, however, when the topic of conversation isn’t about race or culture, she is somewhat tolerable.)

Coworker: “Guess what? I recently started dating a guy, and we really hit it off! We decided to start going out for real, now!”

Me: “Oh, wow, that’s great. Congratulations.”

Coworker: “I just have to tell you more about him! His name’s [Boyfriend], and not only is he charming and handsome, he’s also the sweetest guy I’ve ever met!”

(I take a moment to contemplate what is going on. The name she mentioned sounds distinctly ethnic, and it just so happens to be from her least favorite ethnic group.)

Me: “Wait a minute. I’m really happy for you and your new boyfriend, but you said his name was [Boyfriend], correct?”

Coworker: “Yeah. Why?”

Me: “I thought you hated brown people?”

Coworker: “I thought I did, too, but he somehow managed to convince me otherwise. If they’re capable of being as sweet as him, then they can’t all be bad!”

(Wow. I’m really happy that she’s no longer racist, or at least less so, but talk about doing a complete 180!)

Their Problem With Sick Days Reaches Fever Pitch

, , , , , , | Working | December 13, 2018

(I have just been promoted to manager trainee and am working on a Sunday with one of the assistant managers. It has already been made clear to me that managers don’t really get to take a day off at this store when they are sick because there will be literally no other manager able to cover them — it’s a small store. I have a 104-degree fever at this point and am supposed to be the closing manager on a Sunday, working with an assistant manager until about an hour before close, at which point I’ll be on my own. Everyone can see I am sick; even customers ask why I’m there. I am walking — very slowly — across the sales floor, having just been in the back office trying to cool down, because I am sweating due to my fever.)

Associate #1: “Girl, I know you’re pale, but you are green today.”


Associate #2: “Can I get a manager to the front for a return?”

(I get up to the front, enter my ID and password for the return, and once the customer leaves, I just slowly lower myself to the floor. I am so dizzy at this point I can’t see straight.)

Associate #2: *on her headset* “Uh… [Assistant Manager]? [My Name] is on the floor up here.”

Assistant Manager: *on headset* “Did she fall? Is she okay? She didn’t pass out, right?”

Associate #2: “No… She just kind of sat down.”

(I indicate I’m okay.)

Associate #2: “Yeah, she’s okay.”

Me: “Can I go home, please, [Assistant Manager]? It’s only an extra hour you’d be working. I’ll owe you.”

Assistant Manager: “Are you sure you can’t make it? I wanted to go out with [Her Boyfriend] tonight.”

Me: “No… I literally can’t see straight right now. I’m sorry. I really tried to work through it, but I think I’ll call my mom to drive me home.”

(And that’s how I almost passed out at work because I was scared I’d be reprimanded for calling out sick. They still make both associates and managers work when sick because there literally isn’t enough staff to allow them to take a sick day. I no longer work there.)

(Is This The Way To) Amaretto?

, , , , , | Working | December 13, 2018

(I walk into the liquor store and see two clerks on the floor chatting about stock.)

Me: “Excuse me. Do you know where I would find Amaretto?”

Both Clerks: *in unison* “Yes.”

Me: “…”

Both Clerks: “…”

(I walked away to find it myself.)

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