Me: “How much is it to add Big Mac sauce to a McDouble?”
Employee: “It’s [price].”
Me: “Alright, let me just have a regular McDouble then.”
Employee: “You don’t want anything on it?”
Me: “Nope! Thank you!”
Employee: “So just the plain bun, no lettuce or ketchup or patty or anything?”
I think I sat and stared at the little radio screen for a solid thirty seconds, trying to compose myself as my boyfriend cackled in the passenger seat!
I was a newbie, working in a budget division in the government; I had to collect some inventory numbers from an employee.
Me: “How many of [items] do we have at these locations?”
Coworker: “You need to ask ol’ Sal for that.”
Me: “Okay, thanks—”
Coworker: “—wait. You can ask him, but wait until you have some time to kill… and don’t question his methods. Ever.”
Me: “Oooookay?”
I go and find the old guy and ask my question.
He dutifully opened up an Excel spreadsheet, got out a pad of paper, and started writing down values from the spreadsheet and adding them with a desktop calculator.
I work in a store where the rules are: no talking, texting, or listening to anything on your phone. Still, several coworkers spend hours on their phones while working, chatting with customers half-heartedly or just avoiding responsibilities.
We get a new manager who tries to flex and crack down. It doesn’t work. Her only move is to write people up and threaten to fire them. No one cares because we’re short-staffed, and everyone knows she can’t fire anyone. There are a few rule-followers like me… and the ones who do whatever they want.
One night, I got a phone call from my mother. She tells me she has just been diagnosed with a serious medical condition. I spent twenty minutes crying on the phone before hanging up.
When I’m upset, I need distractions. I’m not allowed music, audiobooks, or anything else on my phone… so I do the only thing left.
I work.
I clean that store’s soul. I move displays. I scrub under the coffee machines that haven’t been touched since the first Bush administration. I organize the tobacco shelf and print a clean spreadsheet showing where every single item goes when restocking.
I check every product for expiration, face every label forward, and front every shelf. I do the work of ten employees.
The next morning, the manager arrives. The first thing she does is tear down my chart.
Manager: “We’re not allowed to put up our own advertising for tobacco products. You could get fired for that.”
No praise. No thanks. Not even a nod.
That’s fine. I didn’t do it for her.
The next night, I show up for my shift, and she approaches me.
Manager: “There’s a reprimand you need to sign.”
Me: “A reprimand? For what?”
Manager: “You were on your cell phone for seventeen minutes last night. You know that’s not allowed. Now sign this and clock in, or I have to let you go.”
She has this cheerful little I have authority to treat you like s*** smile.
I grab my stuff.
Me: “I quit.”
She just sits there, stunned, suddenly realizing I’m the only overnight employee. She tries to coax me back.
I’m already in my car, driving home with a smile, when she calls.
Manager: “You have ten minutes to get back here, or you’re fired.”
Me: “How do you not realize I just quit? F*** you and your reprimand. Make sure my last paycheck is right.”
I hang up.
Later, I find out the recording of that call, and how she handled everything, gets her in trouble once I explain to the Market Manager why I was on the phone for seventeen minutes… a detail she never bothered to ask about.
I had a better-paying job in three weeks, one that actually respects me.
We have a new guy in the warehouse part of our large big box store. He has a very simple job as part of the opening crew. One of his tasks is, when a delivery truck arrives, open the bay doors to let them back up into it. It’s a simple up/down button panel that you press when the light on it turns green.
One morning, I walked into the warehouse to speak to one of the supervisors there.
Me: “Why am I getting a call from [regular truck driver] saying he’s been waiting for the bay doors to open?”
Supervisor: “Ugh, not again.”
We both walk out to see the new guy rearranging pallets near the bay doors. The button panel has the green light active.
Supervisor: “Hey, pal! Why aren’t you opening the bay door!”
New Guy: “I did that already.”
Supervisor: “Yeah, once. You need to do it every time the green light goes off.”
New Guy: “Wait… every time?!”
Supervisor: “You think we can fill up this entire warehouse and store from one truck a day?”
New Guy: *Shrugs.* “Kinda?”
He opens the bay doors, and unloading the truck proceeds as normal. Until half an hour later, when I noticed on the office cameras that a truck was waiting at the bay door again.
I walk down and tell the supervisor, where we see the new guy playing with the pallets again.
Supervisor: “[New Guy]! The panel is green again!”
New Guy: “Yeah, I saw that.”
Supervisor: “And… you didn’t think to open the bay doors?”
New Guy: “Uh… I thought it was a mistake.”
Supervisor: “Why would it be a mistake?”
New Guy: “Because I already opened the doors twice already.”
Supervisor: “Pal, you need to open the doors every time it goes green. Every… time! It could be ten times, it could be twenty, doesn’t matter. Every time!”
New Guy: “Wow. That sounds like a lotta work!”
Supervisor: “That’s why they call it a job, pal!”
We both walk away shaking our heads.
Me: “I’ll talk to the recruitment guy and see how he managed to get past the interview. You gonna be okay with him for now?”
Supervisor: “We’ll see. I’ve had people as dumb as rocks before, but this guy is worse. At least a rock can hold a door open.”
The new guy was moved to box and pallet breakdown, and putting trash into the compactor. I was scared about putting someone like that so close to machinery that could crush a human, but he hasn’t caused an incident… yet.
Over the weekend, I was asked to build a new laptop for someone’s assistant. Nice and simple, had it ready to go Friday afternoon, so dropped it off at their office. The assistant’s boss was there, so I handed it to them in its bag and watched them put it down next to their desk.
Monday rolls around, and the new assistant comes asking for their laptop. I relay the above to them and am informed that they just came from there, their boss thinks she moved it to their other workspace.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we all know the laptop is exactly where I saw it put on Friday. But no, I need to check the other places first. God forbid I make them feel stupid by using my eyes to check the place they say it isn’t.
We do a walking tour of the places the laptop potentially is and find nothing, so I walk them back to their office, practicing surprised responses in my head. “Oh, look, there it is,” I remark as we enter.
The boss looks over, pretends not to notice me grabbing it from the floor just next to their desk. No thank you, but that’s mostly due to shame preventing them from making eye contact.
All in a day’s work.
