Hopefully Their Health Turns Around Faster

, , , , , | Working | February 26, 2020

I recently returned to work after being in the hospital for an operation, but I was told to go back to hospital if I get into severe pain. On my third day back at work, I collapse and my team leader gets me a [Rideshare] to get to hospital, setting up the pickup point on the right side of the road. I manage to stagger downstairs and wait for the [Rideshare] while all but collapsing on the pavement.

When the [Ride Share] driver arrives, he’s on the other side of the road with six lanes of traffic as well as buses and trams between us.

Me:
“Come over here!”

Driver:
“I can’t turn around!”

Me:
“Come over here! I can’t cross the road.”

Driver:
“I can’t do a U-turn here!”

I am about to faint from the intense pain I am in, so I scream at him.

Me:
“Get the f*** over here! I don’t care how you do it! I’m in f****** pain!”

The driver then went around the block and comes onto the right side of the road to pick me up. He got a one-star rating.

Maybe Someone Didn’t Enunciate?

, , , | Working | February 26, 2020

Me:
“Have you got a quote for the carpet to be replaced yet?”

Coworker:
“No! I have been calling carpenters all week, but none of them have gotten back to me.”

Me:
“You mean carpet layers, right?”

Coworker:
“What’s the difference?”

I facepalmed. Sure enough, she had been emailing carpenters all week trying to get a quote to install carpet.

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Sounds Fake, But Okay

, , , , , | Working | February 25, 2020

After a month of trying to get medical leave and being given a difficult time about it, I quit my job. Between quitting my old job and being hired at my new job, a time period of about two months, I have three surgeries and spend a total of two weeks in the hospital. I’m worried about my chances of being hired while still in recovery, but I need the money. I’m discussing this with the head of HR.

Me:
“My doctor has told me to not lift over 15 pounds, but I know [department] has a lot of product that’s regularly over twenty pounds.”

HR:
“Do you know if it’s a permanent restriction? If it’s only short-term, we can just make sure there’s someone else in [department] with you so it’s never an issue.”

Me:
“I believe it is. I also have been told I need the ability to sit down when I feel it’s necessary.”

HR:
“We can absolutely get a stool over there for you. Do you know if there are any more surgeries you’ll need time off for? I’d hate to have you worry about that.”

Me:
“I should be good. You mean… you actually take care of your employees?”

HR:
“We try to. We’ve found that when we do, people actually like working.” 

After a few more weeks of recovery, my doctor pulled me off of my restrictions, and HR even gave me a card for it!

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This Story Will Have You Craving A Salad

, , , , , | Working | February 25, 2020

My aunt can be a bit… stubborn when she has to answer the same question more than once. She is at a sandwich shop where you go down the line with an employee who puts on meat, cheese, veggies, etc.

Employee:
“And what vegetables would you like on your sandwich?”

Aunt:
“I want all the veggies.”

Employee:
“Do you want lettuce?”

Aunt:
“Is that a veggie?”

Employee:
“Yes.”

Aunt:
“Then yes. I want all the veggies.”

Employee:
“Do you want spinach?”

Aunt:
“Is that a veggie?”

Employee:
“Yes.”

Aunt:
“Then yes. I want all the veggies.”

Employee:
“Do you want cucumber?”

Aunt:
“Let me put it this way. Before you ask me if I want it, ask yourself if it’s a vegetable. If it is, put it on the sandwich.”

Employee: 
“Do you want green peppers?”

Aunt:
“Yes. Okay, let’s try something different. You see all these vegetables here in this area?” *Points*

Employee:
“Yes.”

Aunt:
“I want all of that. Every kind of vegetable on this table. Put it on the sandwich.”

Employee:
“Do you want red onion?”

My aunt just screamed internally.

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U-Turned Right Away From That Sale

, , , , , | Working | February 25, 2020

My husband’s old car is on its last legs and we are shopping for a new car. My husband calls a well-known local dealer.

Husband:
“Hi, I am thinking about buying one of the new [Make] [Model]s. Do you have one of these on the lot that I could look at?”

Dealer:
“Absolutely, we can even set you up with a test drive. Come right on down.”

We go down to the dealer. My husband notes that there are none of the cars he’s interested in out front, despite signs everywhere extolling them. I note that the lot mostly seems to be full of older used trucks and SUVs. The salespeople are in a little huddle around the counter, and no one approaches us. My husband speaks to one.

Husband:
“So, I called less than an hour ago about looking at and maybe test-driving the latest [Make] [Model], but I didn’t see any of them out front.”

Salesperson:
“Oh, right. We don’t have any of those.”

Husband:
“I was told by one of your people that you did.”

Salesperson:
“Nah, we’re out. More will be in next month. But we have plenty of options! We have a lot of SUVs, pickup trucks, great deals–”

Husband:
“So I was lied to.”

Salesperson:
“Um, well, I’m sure if you looked around, you’d find something that–”

Husband:
“I am interested in a [Make] [Model]. Not a pickup, not an SUV. If you don’t have the car I want, you have nothing I want, especially if you blatantly lied to me just to get me in your door.”

We left immediately. The other dealer did, indeed, have the car we were looking for on the lot, and we went there, test-drove it, and purchased it the very next day. The first dealer called back two weeks later offering to put us on a waiting list. I took great pleasure in telling them we were no longer in the market.

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