Two Too Much

, , , , , , | Working | February 25, 2018

(I am walking to my university library and decide to buy a bottle of soda in the corner shop on the way down.They often have “2 bottles for £2 deals”. The deal is on, but they also have bigger bottles of a competitor’s drink for £1 each, and I figure it is a better deal to buy two large ones for the same price, without the deal. At the counter:)

Me: “Just these, please.” *hands him the soda and £2*

Cashier: *a teenage boy* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but those drinks aren’t in the 2-for-£2 deal. They’re full price.”

Me: “I know. But they’re only a £1 each, right?”

Cashier: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Me: “So…”

Cashier: “So, you need to pay the correct amount.”

Me: “But they’re £1 each, and I’m buying two of them. I gave you £2, right?”

Cashier: “Yes, but they’re not on the 2-for-£2 offer. You’ll need to swap them for ones that are if you want to pay £2.”

(At this point, I’m getting frustrated as I can’t seem to get the point cross that two £1 drinks cost £2, so I ask for a manager to authorise the transaction, as this kid is clearly in a different world at the moment.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, [Cashier]?”

(After explaining the situation, the manager looked obviously embarrassed at his employee, and immediately let me purchase my drinks and leave. As I left, I could hear the cashier going, “…but they weren’t on the 2-for-£2 offer, though!”)

Anonymous Cold-Calling

, , , | Working | February 25, 2018

(I pick up the phone. I’m told by a scammer that my computer is sending out viruses.)

Me: “I know. That’s the idea. We are Anonymous. We are legion. We do not forgive, and we do not forget. By the way, you look ridiculous in that blue shirt.”

Scammer: “How did you…?” *click*

(Lucky guess.)

Drafting A New Company To Work With

, , , | Working | February 24, 2018

(I work in an area of law that often requires very complicated technical drawings, done to strict standards. After the draftsman at my old firm retires, I find a drafting company I hope can replace him. The first set of drawings is okay, but the second set is pretty bad because they didn’t bother to actually read the notes I sent. They have to redo all the drawings. I decide to give them one more chance, but then this conversation takes place.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] with [Law Firm]. I’d like to request a new set of drawings.”

Customer Service Rep: “Sure, just let me pull up your account. Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t think we’ll be able to accommodate you. Apparently, there were some problems with who we dealt with last time.”

Me: “Last time? That was me. The only problem was that the drawings weren’t done correctly.”

Customer Service Rep: “Hang on. Let me pass you to my supervisor. One moment.”

(Significantly more than a moment passes.)

Company Owner: “Hello, this is [Owner]. I’m the owner of [Drafting Company].”

Me: “Yes, there appears to be some kind of problem.”

Company Owner: “Look, I’ll be frank. We don’t want your business. We want to work with large firms, not penny-ante firms like [Law Firm].”

Me: “With service like this, no doubt you’ll land lots of them.”

(I hung up, fuming, and found another company that was glad to have the business. The funny thing is, I now work at a very large law firm. When we were looking for a drafting company for future projects, one of the companies on the list was [Drafting Company]. I made sure everyone knew exactly what kind of quality and service we could expect, and their name was quickly scratched off. Who got the work? The company I’d found after [Drafting Company].)

Pretty Sure One Of Those Will Have A Power Converter

, , , , | Working | February 24, 2018

(I have recently moved to Singapore from the USA and brought a small electric drill with me. The voltage in the USA is 110, and in Singapore it’s 220, so I know I can’t plug the drill into the wall or it will burn out. I stop at a local hardware store and speak to the elderly owner:)

Me: “Uncle, you got sell transformer ah?”

Shop Owner: “Got, got.”

(He came back out with a DVD with giant robots on the cover.)

The Kind Of Birthday Gift You Need To Unwrap

, , , , , , | Working | February 23, 2018

(Our supervisor is making the schedule for the following week.)

Supervisor: “Monday is my birthday. I’m going to draw a balloon on that day.”

(She draws a small, crude picture of a balloon on the schedule.)

Me: “Looks more like a sperm.”

Supervisor: *grins* “Well, I hope I get that on my birthday, too!”

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