Drink Until You Lose A Couple Hours

, , , | | Working | July 17, 2019

(This is many years ago when my husband and I are just dating. I am working a second job as a bartender as I am a single mom of two. On this particular evening, it is my night to get off early if my bar is slow. My husband and his brother, sister-in-law, and best friend come into my bar just before I am released.)

Husband: “Okay, you’re off. Let’s go to [Bar under new management across town].”

(We head there, but then I remember that since I was working I don’t have my purse or ID with me. I ALWAYS get ID’d at bars at which we aren’t regulars.)

Me: “I don’t have my ID; they won’t serve me.”

Husband: “I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

(We walk into the bar.)

Bartender: *to me* “ID, please.”

Me: *starts giggling*

Bartender: *VERY angrily* “Well, I have to see your ID! See those two guys down the bar? They’re cops! I could get arrested!

(I know them; they aren’t cops.)

Me: “No, no, I’m sorry. I was just giggling because I just told [Husband] I would get ID’d. I work at [Bar] and I totally get it! We’ll just go somewhere else.”

(We leave. As we’re driving away…)

Husband: “Wow, she was a real b****! We just live up the street; let’s go get your ID and go back.”

(We go get my purse and ID and go back. Note, it’s approximately midnight, and closing time is 2:00 am. We walk back into the bar. I’m the OLDEST out of our group by at least two years.)

Bartender: “ID’s! All of you! Now!”

(We all show ID.)

Bartender: “Okay, what do you want? Make it quick; I’m about to close!”

(We look around questioningly, as there are about twelve people scattered around the bar.)

Husband: “I’ll have a [Beer #1].”

Brother-In-Law: “I’ll have a [Beer #2].”

(We all order about the same thing. The bartender gets out some six-ounce juice glasses and starts filling them with a draft beer we didn’t order; all our beers were bottles or cans.)

Brother-In Law: “Hey! I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I haven’t had a drink all night! I’d like the beer I ordered, or at least a regular-sized draft!”

(We all agree.)

Bartender: *extremely angry* “THAT’S IT! Get out! ALL OF YOU! AND YOU—“ *looking directly at me* “—ARE A SMART A**!”

(We all looked confused and left. The next day, my husband returned, as he knew the owner. The owner told him the bartender reported that at 2:00 am, when she was cleaning up to close, a “bunch of rowdy kids” came in and she had to throw them out. My husband informed him that it was me, a paralegal and part-time bartender at [Bar], which is well known, him, a local business owner, his brother, a corporate attorney, his wife, and our friend, a transport company owner. As it was only midnight, we would have sat there and had a few each and tipped generously, but as we were treated so badly, we wouldn’t be back. Needless to say, I heard that bartender didn’t work there anymore after that. And that’s the one and only time in my life I’ve EVER been kicked out of a bar… because I was OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK, and proved it!)

Customers, Help Yourselves

, , , , | | Working | July 17, 2019

(My mom has been on hold with our cable company, trying to figure out why they have started charging her over 30% more. Apparently, we’ve been paying for premium channels, which we never asked for or use. She has been put on hold again when this happens.)

Mom: *on hold* “Why are they charging me for stuff I don’t want?!”

Woman: *on the other line, picks up* “Hello?”

Mom: “Hello.”

Woman: “I’m trying to find out why my [Channel] isn’t working?”

Mom: “Um, I’m actually a customer, too.”

Woman: “What? How did that happen?”

Mom: “I don’t know. I’m trying to get my bill reduced and they put me on hold again.”

Woman: *laughs*

(My mom ended up having some laughs with another random customer about how weird and screwed up cable companies are. And we’re still trying to get our bill reduced.)

Dreaming Of Another Meeting

, , , , , | | Working | July 17, 2019

(I’m the assistant manager of a lawyer’s office, and whilst I get everything done, I’m really laid back and insist on being left alone. When the manager quits, his replacement isn’t fully aware of my way of working.)

Manager: “Where is [My Name]?”

Assistant: “Um, I do believe he’s asleep in his office.”


Assistant: “Yes, he knows. Don’t worry; everything will be fine.”


(The manager blasts into my office.)

Manager: “[My Name]! WHERE ARE YOU?!”

Me: “Under my desk! Go away!”


(I’m in her office in one minute.)


Me: “Yes. Everything’s under control.”

(She spends the next ten minutes quizzing me on the meeting, which makes us late. Then, because she is so concerned about my being asleep and not prepared, she isn’t prepared herself. After the meeting ends:)

Me: “Next time, just worry about yourself and leave me alone.”

Fast Food Slowly Becoming A Joke

, , , , , , , | | Working | July 16, 2019

Having never been big on fast food, I have never been to a certain chain. My roommate is craving something from there and I have no plans, so I decide, why not try it?

The place is clean, with only one off-duty employee in the place and one car in the drive-thru. My roommate knows what she wants and instantly orders. While she does so, I read the menu and decide on something simple. As she steps to a side, I step forward… and the cashier walks off to start filling ice in the lobby. Okay, maybe he just doesn’t want it to melt all over the counter. Then, he takes the bucket back and starts going through his checklist of cleaning. I am still standing at the counter. No one is in the drive-thru now. The off-duty employee and my roommate are standing at the end of the counter waiting for food.

The manager walks up and the off-duty employee coughs and points toward me. The manager doesn’t take the hint, so he speaks up and says, “Hey, you have someone waiting to order.”

The manager yells for the cashier to come up from the back and starts my order. I ask for a #5 small combo, no mayo. I think this is a fairly simple order. I am wrong.

It takes four tries to get it entered right. I should just walk out, because the cashier does. My roommate has finished eating now. I still don’t even have a soda cup. I get handed a bag with cold fries. Nothing else.

I call the manager over. Thankfully, I have the receipt. He takes the cold fries. A few moments later, I have a burger: bun, burger, extra mayo, no cheese, no bacon — no anything but enough mayo to drown a rat. Those fries? They are even colder now. And the cup is still sitting somewhere under the counter. I look at it, look at the manager, and shake my head. He looks at the receipt and says, “Oh, I’ll fix it,” and takes the bun and starts scraping mayo off it into the trash.

My roommate is now laughing her head off. The off-duty employee is looking embarrassed and disgusted. I tell the manager not to bother, and to just refund it as I have lost my appetite. He says he will have to charge me for the soda, and my roomie, the off-duty employee, and I all ask him, “What soda? I never got a cup!” He assures me the charge has been reversed, no trouble.

The next day, on a whim, I check with the bank. Not only has he not refunded me, he has charged me a second time. I tell the bank to refuse payment as it is fraudulent. I find out the district manager’s name and number and explain what happened. He takes my name and info. I mail him a copy of the information from the bank and a copy of the receipt.

A week later, they have a “now hiring” sign up as we go past. Today, I received a handwritten note of apology and coupons for free meals, but I think I will give them to my roommate.

Home Printed Scams

, , , | | Working | July 16, 2019

(I occasionally do office work for my mother’s home business. She is having difficulty with her network printer; for some reason, the connection keeps dropping, so we visit the support website listed on the printer and begin talking to an online support consultant.)

Me: “Hi. My mum recently purchased a [type] network printer from your company; it seems to be having difficulty staying connected to the WiFi. Can you help?

Consultant: “Yes. I will send you a remote access request now. Please go to this website.” *provides link*

Me: *after checking the link* “Okay.”

(Remote access comes up, and I accept it. Mum and I sit there watching as he clicks on My Documents, clicks around for a little while, right clicks on the desktop, and does nothing, never even going near the Devices and Printers area. By now, I’m getting wary.)

Me: “Is everything okay?”

Consultant: “Yes.”

(After a long pause, they then open Internet Explorer, and of all things, they type the URL for Facebook!)

Me: “What are you doing?”

(Luckily, my mum rarely uses it and always logs herself out!)

Consultant: “Please log in to Facebook.”

Me: “Why?”

Consultant: “Please log in to Facebook.”

Me: “Why do you even need it?!”

(The consultant then closed Facebook and went to a website I did not recognise, and they began downloading something onto her computer. At that moment, with Mum panicking behind me, I hard-switched off the computer, and Mum switched off the router. God only knows what they were trying to do! We reported the incident to the company. They agreed that was their support website but denied everything that had happened. Needless to say, when they next sent a bill for their hire services, we refused to pay and returned the printer.)

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