Running Into The Street-Wise

, , , , , | Friendly | January 4, 2018

(My mother is at the bus stop and sees a guy stumbling around, from the sidewalk to the bike path, and close to the curb. She calls the police so they can take care of him, as he is clearly too out of it to be safe on his own in public. They arrive and talk to him, asking about alcohol and drugs. He admits to taking some drugs, then suddenly turns on my mother.)

Druggie: *yelling* “Look at all the trouble you got me in!”

Mother: *yelling back* “I saved your life! You were almost running into the street!”

(So much for helping people.)

Once A Marine, Always A Marine

| San Rafael, CA, USA | Friendly | November 11, 2017

(Editor’s Note: To commemorate Veteran’s Day, we’re resurfacing this story. It was originally posted on August 2, 2014.)

(I am a bookseller working toward a teaching credential. While I am not exactly poor, my pay is not stellar, and it is occasionally a stretch for me to manage loans and bills. While walking home from work, I see a middle-aged man asking for money on the corner. He appears to be a veteran. I scrounge around in my purse for change and only find a penny, but I walk up to him, anyway.)

Me: “Hey. I’m one of those jerks who doesn’t carry a lot of cash. So, this is all I have. I hope it helps.”

(I press the penny into the palm of the veteran’s hand. He looks at me. When he speaks, I can tell that he’s not all there, but he sounds genuine.)

Veteran: “You know what? If that’s all you have, then take this.”

(To my amazement, he presses a one dollar bill into my palm. I shake my head and try to give it back to him.)

Me: “No. You need it more than I do.”

Veteran: “You know what? Take it. I was in the Marines. And my job was to protect this country. And help poor people.”

(Overcome with emotion, I impulsively salute at the veteran. He immediately snaps into a military salute in response. I thank him and start walking again, and he calls after me.)

Veteran: “Hey! Don’t you be spending that on alcohol, now!”

Me: “I won’t, sir!”

(True to my word, I converted the dollar into quarters for laundry, which I desperately needed to do. It really goes to show how some people, even in their greatest hours of need, will still go out of their way to help others out. Wherever you are now, sir, thank you – and to everyone else, please remember to support your troops, since many of them, after the fight, will need all the love they can get.)

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Cross That Bridge When You Come To It

, , , , | Romantic | September 30, 2017

(My boyfriend and I are going on a walk across a bridge over the river. We’ve only been together a couple of months, so it isn’t super serious yet.)

Me: *as we walk up the ramp* “I heard of a guy who proposed to his girlfriend here.”

Boyfriend: “I’ll bet that happens a lot.”

Me: “I could make a joke here, but I won’t.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I’m not going to do it NOW!”

Streets Ahead Of Her Plan

| San Jose, CA, USA | Related | July 11, 2017

(When my mom was pregnant with me, my second oldest sister told her that she wanted a brother because she already had a sister. When my parents came home with me, daughter #3, my sister was very upset. A few days later, Mom finds her outside sitting on the corner, crying her eyes out.)

Mom: “What are you doing?”

Sister: *crying* “I’m running away from home!”

Mom: “Okay, but why are you sitting on the corner?”

Sister: *wailing* “I CAN’T CROSS THE STREET BY MYSELF!”

Neck-Breaking Calmness

, , , | Related | June 7, 2017

(When I was a kid, I went out swimming in the river close to my house one day with some friends. At one point, we want to dive into the river head first, but I don’t realise the river is very shallow at that point, so I end up landing on my head, hard. One of my friends is sent to inform my mother, and this is how they choose to do so:)

Kid: *calmly and cheerfully* “Mrs. [Name], I just wanted to let you know [My Name] fell on her head. But you don’t have to worry; the ambulance is already there.”

(My mother never ran so fast in her entire life. I had actually broken my neck, but after several months in the hospital with sandbags on both sides of my head so I couldn’t move it, I made a full recovery, and a year later I even became regional judo-champion!)

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