Sometimes Luck Just Falls Into Your Lap

, , , , , | Learning | April 7, 2020

Once, when I was in elementary school, the teacher took us all outside near the playground and told us to find four-leaf clovers. She said the first one to find one would get a treat. Then, she sat down, clearly expecting us to take hours.

I immediately saw a big clover poking out into the sidewalk and grabbed it. I counted the leaves — yup, there were four! — and shyly presented it to her. She looked very surprised and said that I had found one. She then asked where I had found it and I told her.

Many students said that I probably had it in my purse; at the time, pressed four-leaf clovers were popular to buy. But the teacher said no, this was obviously freshly picked and my family was poor and had no use for decorations.

She gave me the treat and I hoped for some luck. Sadly, none came and I figured it was only for Irish people. Oh, well. Maybe it was because I broke a mirror later in middle school.

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Unfiltered Story #190542

, , , , | Unfiltered | March 23, 2020

(I am a security guard out on patrol when I witness this.)

Car: *pulls up on he street and shouts to a man standing on the sidewalk* “Hey, is this a parking spot?”

(The man on the sidewalk turns slowly to the very prominent ‘NO PARKING” sign that we’ve put up because people were ignoring the already posted street sign.)

Sidewalk: *flatly* “No,”

There’s No Age Limit On An Adrenaline Rush

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 19, 2020

When I was fourteen, my Ma, Sis, and stepdad Jim — nicknamed Jimbo Bimbo Spam by my sis and I — and he had a cool little powerboat. 

One evening my ma, sis, and I were at the lake with the boat. There was a park near the spot where you back your boat into the water. While I waited for my turn, I happened to talk to a lovely couple. 

I’ve always remembered these things about them: they were in their mid-seventies, had been together for fifty years, and they had never officially married. 

After a bit of talking, my ma and sis popped up and joined in the conversation. My ma offered a ride and they gave each other a look, talking in their own little way without words but looks. They took the offer. My ma took the woman out for a bit and when they came back I got my turn with the gentleman and we took off.

We were going for a bit and this fellow was enjoying it with a smile and the wind whipping through his hair. This boat was good with catching the waves from other boats if you could whip the boat itself just right. I went in with a bit too much juice and caught a wave, the boat tilting a good bit.

I looked over in time to see this man in his seventies fall into the water. Now, I almost panic, hoping this man can swim and expecting a good earful if he can. I got the boat turned back around and saw his head pop up. When I came up to him, I reached out and helped him up. He got onto his seat and, after wiping at his face, he waved his hands and said with excitement in his voice, “That was crazy, mannnnnn!” and I swear I saw the youth in his face.

We started laughing for a good few minutes. We rode only for a little bit longer with him being soaked. I pulled up and we got off the boat, and before he left, the man gave me a good hug for a few seconds, along with back pats and a thanks for a good time. My ma and sis got on for a turn and I watched them ride off.

At one point, I saw the cutest thing: the man with his arm over the woman’s shoulder and her arm around his waist. She pulled him tight against herself, even with him soaked. It was a moment of genuine love.

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You Can Never Be Too Careful

, , , , , | Romantic | March 4, 2020

(I take regular walks around my neighborhood for exercise and relaxation. I’ve just walked past the entryway for a business that crosses the sidewalk when a car that was heading towards me on the road pulls into the entryway behind me and the driver calls out. Figuring it’s someone looking for directions, as this is a touristy area, I turn around and answer.)

Me: “What can I do for you?”

Man: “You from around here?”

Me: “Yes, I’m a local. Where are you heading?”

Man: “Cool. So… what’s your name?”

(I go from zero to SUSPICIOUS.)

Me: “Why do you want to know?”

Man: “No reason! Nevermind!”

(He threw his car into reverse and peeled out of there so fast I was left completely stunned for a moment. Only after I shrugged and continued my walk did I happen to glance down at my shirt and realize I was wearing an old high-school tee that would have been clearly visible to someone coming towards me. I’m short and young-faced, despite being almost ten years out of high school, so there’s a distinct possibility that man thought I was a minor. I always carry my phone with me on walks, but maybe I should add a weapon.)

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Your Fortune: Humiliation

, , , , , , | Right | February 15, 2020

My husband and I were walking down the Las Vegas Strip. We were coming back from a show that was much farther from our hotel than we’d expected, so my feet were killing me and I was completely exhausted. I was just concentrating on putting one blistered foot in front of the other and getting back to the hotel so I could collapse.

The Vegas Strip is home to all sorts of fun and strange discoveries, and outside a shop, we spotted a Zoltar fortune-telling machine that looked like it had come straight out of the movie Big. We stopped to admire it for a moment, and I stepped forward to get a closer look.

The machine suddenly burst into life, moving dramatically and speaking loudly. I emitted some sort of strangled scream, jumped about a foot, and, in my exhausted and startled state, implored the machine, “PLEASE DON’T!”

My husband about fell over laughing at my reaction. When he had almost regained his composure, he noticed a pair of strangers that had passed us. The strangers were also laughing their heads off at me, which my husband was kind enough to point out to me.

Now that I’m far, far away from that stupid machine, I can laugh about the incident, too. And “Please don’t!” has become our reaction any time an object behaves in an unexpected way.

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