It’s A Small, Small World, But Not That Small

, , , , , , | Related | April 18, 2019

It was summer and we were loading up to go to Disneyland. My son was six years old and was very excited to see Mickey Mouse.

En route, we found a mall to stop for a bathroom and a chance to stretch our legs.

There was a little play area in the mall with the kiddie rides where you put in a quarter and it bounces you around for thirty seconds. We decided to let the kid have fun because we’d been sitting for a while and he probably needed to blow off some steam.

About ten minutes later, he came up, hugged us both and said, “Thanks for taking me to Disneyland. It was fun even though I didn’t get to meet Mickey Mouse.”

It was very tempting to turn around and save several hundred dollars by pretending the play area was Disneyland, but we continued on our way.

He was even more impressed with the real Disneyland.

And yes, he did meet Mickey Mouse.

, , , | Right | March 28, 2019

(I live and work in Iceland.)

Customer: “Do you have international busses?”

Me: *thinking I misheard* “Sorry, a bus for where?”

Customer: “You know, for Scotland or somewhere outside of Iceland.”

Me: “You realize this is an island? You can’t drive to another country from here.”

Customer: “Not at all? What about busses that drive onto ferries that take you somewhere?”

Me: “It takes a few days to sail to the next country.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “So, no. No, we don’t have those.”

Customer: “Not in the whole country?”

Me: “I mean, we’re just one company. You can try asking at the tourist information, but…” *the customer walks off* “…I highly doubt it.”

I Live At One America Street, America

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2019

(I’m at the check-in desk at an airport in Israel.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “There is only one airport in the USA, right?”

Me: “Only one airport… in the entire USA?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Please listen to yourself. Are you serious?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Yes, only one airport. Thank you!”

Me: *face-palm*

Always Room For A Little Kindness

, , , , | Hopeless | February 28, 2019

I’m on a flight to New Zealand; it’s a 30-hour flight that stops in LA to refuel and change the crew.

The first leg of the flight is literally hell for me. I am a fairly large person and the seats in economy are quite cramped. This would be tricky enough, but the person in front decides to recline his seat — which is entirely his right — but it stops when it hits my knees. He notices his neighbor’s seat goes further back, and so decides that force may help the problem; he slams himself backward whilst holding the recline button. After doing this twice, he notices nothing, and turns around to ask me if there is something blocking his seat… at which point he sees that it’s my knees and sheepishly turns around.

Then, the fact that my shoulder pokes slightly into the aisle means that I am constantly hit by people walking past. The solution is to hold myself in a very uncomfortable position that results in my arm going numb. I practically limp off the plane 12 hours later.

Fortunately, a stewardess notices my discomfort and asks if everything is okay. I explain that I was just so uncomfortable and that it’s no ones fault, but I’m just a little too large for economy. She promises to talk to the handover crew and try and sort me out. Feeling a bit cynical at this stage, I don’t expect much.

To my surprise, when I reboard for the next leg of the journey, a stewardess approaches me and explains that she heard from her colleague how much trouble I had on the previous flight and wants to move me to a seat that has opened up. I get moved to a new seat where there is no one beside me or in front, and during the meal service I get an extra dessert. I pretty much sleep for the next leg of the flight and feel much better when I get off in New Zealand.

To the stewardesses out there who saw my plight and did something for me, thank you!

As a side note, that airline actually changed its economy seating not long after this, giving passengers a few extra inches of width and legroom.

Snow Time To Slow Down

, , , , , , | Related | February 22, 2019

(My parents and my two brothers and I go to visit my aunt and uncle in Texas for Christmas. We live in Washington state, but my parents decide to drive. We’ve stopped for the night in a hotel in Wyoming. At the time, my brothers and I are young enough and small enough that my parents just turn us sideways on the bed and things are usually pretty good. In the middle of the night, both of my parents wake up when they hear the thump of one of my brothers rolling off the bed. When no screams come, they both rush out of bed to make sure he’s okay.)

Dad: “He’s still breathing. Here, hand me that blanket, so we don’t have to try and wake him up. He’ll be fine here.”

(He grabs his pillow and the blanket and does his best to cover my brother up. My mom moves in to use the bathroom since she’s up. for an unknown reason, my dad heads towards the window and peeks out the curtain.)

Dad: “Get dressed. We need to leave now!”

Mom: “What?”

Dad: *turning on the lights* “We need to leave. Now!”

(Outside, the snow is falling pretty badly, semis are on their sides in the ditches, and the snow is piling up. My brothers are really heavy sleepers and don’t wake up, so my dad just carries them to the car while my mom has me help her get stuff packed up. We get into the car, check out of the hotel, and stop at a gas station to fill up and grab a case of water. Then, we get on the freeway. My mom turns on the radio)

Announcer: “We’ve just closed the highway at [Exit #1].”

Mom: “We just passed that.”

Dad: “Uh-huh.”

Announcer: “We’ve just closed the highway at [Exit #2].”

Mom: “And that one!”

Dad: “Yep.”

Announcer: “Highway has been closed at [Exit #3].”

Mom: “That one, too!”

Dad: “Yeah.”

(It turned out we were racing the storm. My dad was literally just ahead of it; when my mom and I glanced back, there was just this wall of grey chasing us. We made it out of Wyoming without getting stopped. Overall, it took us about two and a half days to get to my aunt and uncle’s house. We avoided Wyoming on the way home… just in case.)

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