They Should Have Czeched Before They Traveled

, , , , | Right | October 21, 2019

(I have a summer job at the reception of a hotel in Prague’s city centre, and our guests are mainly tourists. It is July 3rd. We have two national public holidays coming up, one on July 5th and second on July 6th. Neither is really celebrated unless it’s an anniversary year. The guests are clearly Americans; one of them has an American flag around his suitcase. There are four guys in total, somewhere from thirty to forty years old. They are generally pleasant and cooperate during the check-in.)

Me: “All right, you are all set. Can I help you with anything else? Any places you would like to visit and need directions for?”

Guest: *with the American flag on his suitcase* “Where are the celebrations? What is a good spot to watch the fireworks?”

Me: “Oh, the holidays are on July 5th and July 6th. Unfortunately, there won’t be any festivities. Only some places might be closed, and others might have different opening hours. But definitely nothing major.”

Guest: “What?!”

(He has been really nice up to this moment; however, he starts to raise his voice.)

Another Guest: “The fourth of July.”

Me: “Oh, you mean the American Independence Day?”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but I’m afraid that here in the Czech Republic we do not celebrate the American holiday.”

Guest: “But we came here to celebrate it!”

(After that, the manager came down to the reception and dealt with them. All four guys seemed to be genuinely perplexed that there wouldn’t be any festivities to mark American Independence day in the middle of Europe. However, my manager was quick on his feet and suggested that they look for some Facebook group for expats living in Prague to find some Americans living in Prague that might be celebrating. When I asked my manager about the idea, it turned out they were not the first ones to ask about it.)

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If You Can Make It There…

, , , , | Right | October 14, 2019

(I am working at a gas station, back when “pump jockeys” pump your gas for you. Our station is on the New York State Thruway, a divided highway toll road. We are located a few miles from a major city, but hundreds of miles from New York City. In addition, we are on the westbound side traveling away from New York City. One holiday weekend…)

Customer: “How far is it to New York City?”

Me: “In the direction you are going, about 25,000 miles. You’re going the wrong way.”

Customer: *blinks*

Me: “Where did you get on the highway?”

Customer: “Albany.”

(This means she drove about three hours in the opposite direction from New York City. And that she passed the exits for several cities along the way, but didn’t seem to realize that she was heading in the wrong direction all this time.)

Me: “You’ll have to go to the next exit, get off, and get back on in the other direction.”

(The identical situation happened again with another driver the next day! Basic geography, people!)

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Taking You On A Journey Of Crazy Thought Processes

, , , , | Working | October 10, 2019

(I need to travel down from Scotland to the south of England for a meeting. I don’t know how to drive so I have requested a train be booked for there and back. I check online and send the journey I would like booked to the expenses department. The morning after, I receive the confirmation and immediately call them.)

Me: “I’ve been booked on a journey for a meeting tomorrow at [Location]. This isn’t going to work. Could I please be booked on the route I sent you?”

Expenses: *snotty* “What’s wrong with what we’ve booked?”

Me: “Well, it requires me to go down the east coast, while both train stations are on the west. It also says I will be arriving at 16:43.”

Expenses: “So?”

Me: “My meeting ends at 14:00.”


Me: “The meeting will have ended before I even get there.”

Expenses: “That—”

Me: “Also, you have my return booked for 17:00, at a station I see is over an hour away.”

Expenses: “It’s only a couple of minutes driving!”

Me: “I don’t drive. But what I’m really trying to get at is that you’ve booked me on a trip that will take over twice as long to get there, and booked me on a return fifteen minutes later. Not only will I have missed my meeting, but the entire journey will have been for nothing other than being in the country for a quarter of an hour…”

Expenses: “Your meeting was deemed non-essential by [Manager I’ve never heard of], so it is acceptable for you to be late, and the journey you have been put on was the cheapest available.”

Me: “I’m not going to be late; I’m not going to be attending it at all. And this journey isn’t the cheapest available.”

Expenses: “I can assure you it is.”

Me: “The journey I sent you was nearly £50 cheaper than the price listed in the confirmation. I checked it again before calling, and it’s even cheaper now, even if I go first class!”

Expenses: “There is nothing more I can do. You have been booked on this journey. Goodbye.” *hangs up*

(I was more than livid. I decided to check out the manager she mentioned; I found she was a fleet coordinator who had nothing to do with employee expenses. After contacting her, she confirmed she had not been in contact with expenses regarding my trip, and didn’t even know the person I dealt with. I spoke with my manager, who escalated it to his, who is a regional director. Everything was sorted out within an hour and I attended my meeting with no issues. The expenses woman I dealt is now sending out the monthly internal magazine, and as far as I can tell, it is the only thing she does.)

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Diners Of The Corn

, , , , | Right | October 5, 2019

(I work at a fast food chain when I’m in high school. I’m from a rural town in the middle of Illinois. This takes place in late summer, when the corn has grown up really tall. Despite being right off the interstate, our town doesn’t have a lot of commercial development, so our restaurant is right next to a cornfield. In this story, I have some out of town customers come in.)

Customer #1: *to her friends* “Oh. My. God. Did you guys see the corn?!” *to me* “IS THAT CORN?! That’s corn, right?”

Me: “Oh! Uh, yes?”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God! Where are we?”

Me: “Um… [Town].”

Customer: “I mean, what state?”

(We are in the middle of Illinois; they have to have been driving at least an hour, depending on which way they came from.)

Me: “Illinois?”

Customer #1: “I thought, like, only Kansas and Iowa had cornfields!”

(They finally order and take their food to go.)

Me: *to my coworkers* “Uh, guys?”

Coworker: “Yeah?”

Me: “Are they… Are they taking pictures of themselves… in the corn?”

Coworker: “Yep. Get used to it.”

Me: “I wish I got excited about cornfields like that. Instead, I have to brace myself for a deer jumping out of them!”

(And that is when I learned that you can truly be a tourist anywhere! Even a fast food parking lot!)

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She’s In For A Shock If She Ever Goes To Indonesia  

, , , , | Right | September 6, 2019

(My wife and I have been married twenty years and never taken a vacation for just us. We both have just recently “graduated” after going back to school to further our education for our careers. Our kids are older, allowing my father-in-law to watch them, just making sure they get hot food, and get to school and sports. Some good friends of ours get a great package deal for an all-inclusive resort in Mexico that they have been to before and want to know if we want in on the special rates. So, off we go on a seven-day trip to Mexico with some good friends. About the third day in Mexico, I am at the resort shop buying some odds and ends and have already noticed the sign that shows the exchange rates between pesos and other forms of currency they accept. I see the price tag and then do the math using the posted exchange rate. As I am paying the very polite cashier, I hear a rude woman just lose it on one of the employees.)


Employee: “No, that is—”


Employee: “Yes, English, price is…”

Rude Customer: “SPEAK ENGLISH!”

(I have had enough.)

Me: “Ma’am, as the employee started to tell you twice in English, the sticker is the amount in pesos. The exchange rate is posted right here.” *pointing to sign next to register*

Rude Customer: “WHY WOULD IT BE IN PESOS?”

Me: *laughing* “We are in Mexico… and pesos are the currency in this country. No wonder Americans get a bad reputation for being rude.”

Rude Customer: *glaring at me and muttering* “What do you Canadians know, anyway?”

Me: “Lady, who said I am Canadian? I am from the Midwest, the heartland of the USA, and you are just being rude.”

(With that, I went and enjoyed my vacation, just wondering how someone could be so entitled and rude.)

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