Steal Or Swim

, , , | Right | March 1, 2021

My mom and I own a small clothing store. We sell high-end branded swimsuits. Two ladies want to see and try on the swimwear. They try on everything and do not buy anything.

Customer #1: “I didn’t see anything that I like here.”

I notice the neck strings of one of our swimsuits still tied around her neck under her clothes.

Me: “Do you mind giving me back all of the suits so that I can put them back on the racks?”

She does bring back all of them; I count both tops and bottoms before they leave.

Customer #2: “I think that we’ll go to [Big Box Store] and buy one.”

Me: *Thinking* “And you just tried to steal a $75 swimsuit from us?”

I told my mom about what they tried to do and she said that they were not welcome back.

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Baja Backroom Blah Blah

, , , , | Right | February 25, 2021

While I usually just handle the inventory, I occasionally deal with customers in the morning and answer the phone when we’re short-staffed.

Me: “[Bookstore], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hey. I’m looking for a travel guide to Baja, but the latest edition doesn’t come out until February. Do you guys get things in before the official release date?”

I am thinking she’s probably asking if it’s a hard restriction, which it is, or whether she can reserve a copy.

Me: “Yep, we’re just not allowed to sell them before the release date.”

Caller: “What about a backroom deal?”

Me: “Ma’am, are you asking me to illegally sell you a book?”

Caller: *Very cheerfully* “Yes!”

I ended up having to explain to her that we could get in VERY serious legal trouble with the publishers if we sold a book before its release date. She was very polite but seemed shocked that there would actually be serious consequences for breaking the rules.

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What’s That Saying About A Fool And His Money?

, , , , , , | Legal | February 25, 2021

One day at our Tribal Casino, an Idiot Guest discovered he had to go visit the restroom. In a stroke of absolute brilliance, he flagged down a lady to watch his machine. [Idiot Guest] is so named because instead of asking staff, who wear a very obvious staff uniform, he asked a complete stranger to watch a machine that had $600 of his own money on it.

Can you guess what happened? If you guessed that she cashed it out onto a ticket and left, you get a cookie!

There was a whole fiasco. The floor manager told him that he was an idiot. Security told him that he was an idiot. The cage girl told him that he was an idiot. Thus, his name was coined.

They reprinted his ticket after checking the cameras to verify that it was stolen, he got his money, and all was well. Personally, I think they should have let [Idiot Guest] learn the expensive lesson the hard way… but wishful thinking is wishful.

In any case, the plot spun on its axis. Guess what happened next?! If you guessed that our Thieving Lady came back, here’s another cookie!

Not even four freaking hours later, she sauntered in with the ticket to cash it out! That’s right! She took the ticket out but left without cashing out the money right away! So now she had a paid out ticket, with staff still on duty who remember the fiasco that came from this.

In short, the cage girl realized that the ticket had already been paid out and realized who [Thieving Lady] was. The Tribal Police were promptly called.

This woman’s picture is now up in every casino owned by the nation, and she is no longer a “valued guest.” Simple terms? She’s banned from our casinos for life!

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Some People Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Reproduce

, , , , , | Right | February 23, 2021

I work at a small fast food restaurant in an area that is unsafe to be in after 8:00 pm. There is no play area for kids and the dining room is closed at 8:00 pm.

A lady in an oversized coat with fur linings comes in at 7:00 pm with four kids. The oldest looks about seven while the youngest looks about five. The lady orders a large order totalling about $50, and then takes the order to a back table that has charging ports. Then, she leaves; the kids don’t seem to care as they are watching a movie on a laptop.

At 7:30 pm, the mum hasn’t come back. I tell my shift supervisor, who asks the kids if they have their mum’s number. They don’t have her number, so my supervisor calls the police to take care of the kids and then asks me to keep an eye on them.

While we’re waiting for the police, an older man that seems out of it approaches the kids and starts asking them questions.

Older Man: “Where are Mummy and Daddy?”

Older Man: “Do your Mummy and Daddy hate you so much that they left you here?”

Older Man: “Would you like to get a ride with me? Or you can stay at my place?”

Luckily, the police arrive before things get out of control and take the kids with them. I think that will be the end of it.

At 10:00 pm, someone starts screaming and trying to break down the door. My supervisor sees that it is the lady from before. He lets her in and she goes straight for the table where she left her kids. When she realises that her kids aren’t there, she storms up to the front counter.


Supervisor: *Very calmly* “With all due respect, you left your kids here with no adults and no way to contact you. I called the police as it’s not my job to make sure that your kids are safe. Here is the number for the officer that is watching your kids; she is waiting for you so you can have a lesson on how to look after your kids.”

The lady turned a deep shade of purple. She stormed out, and that was the last we saw of her.

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Do You Ever Just Want To Steal Someone’s Kids?

, , , , | Legal | February 21, 2021

I work in a restaurant, and I have a story that is one part funny, one part sad.

A family of four comes in: two kids about eleven and twelve and their “parents,” though I use the term loosely. I know right off the bat that they are going to be trouble.

The first thing that clues me in is that they ask to be seated at a table closest to the door. That’s a big red flag that they are going to dine and dash. I have everyone in the restaurant watching them and I inform the manager. The manager tells me to go ahead and wait on them. What else can we do?

They order expensive seafood platters, drinks, steaks, and fancy desserts. Red flag number two: deliberately ordering the most expensive of everything.

I don’t even get the check to the table; I look over and they are gone.

Coworker: “The parents sent the kids out to the car first, waited a few minutes, and then bolted.”

This is the funny part of this story: they left their car keys on the table!

I pick them up, spin them on my finger, and whistle my way over to the manager and plop them in his hands.

As the manager calls the police, another employee watches through a window as they scramble to the car and frantically look through their pockets for the keys. Then, they all scurry out of the car, run across the street to a strip mall, and go into a fast food joint.

The cops show up, take down our side of the story, and bring the family back over to the restaurant. Now the “parents” try and say that each of them thought the other one took care of the check.

Manager: “Okay, just pay the check now and we won’t press charges.”

OOPS… Guess what? They don’t have any money! We can tell that their weak cover story just blew a big hole in itself and is deflating rapidly, while an officer is standing nearby with a sarcastic expression that says it all without a word being spoken.

Now, all through their blustering story and lack of funds, another officer has had their IDs and has been running their names. No surprise, they put the man in cuffs and into the cruiser he goes; apparently, he has an outstanding warrant! 

The woman makes a few calls on her cell, and about a half-hour later, an older woman shows up and pays the check with her credit card. She looks unhappy but really doesn’t say anything; she just sighs and signs the credit card slip. She even writes in a tip. I am guessing she’s the kids’ grandma.

We give “Mom” her car keys and off they go.

The very sad part of this story: there were two children involved in this. It’s one thing to scam and steal, but to bring your kids along?

I mentioned to the manager that I hoped that this was a lesson to the “parents.” The manager looked depressed and pointed out that the kids didn’t look upset or scared when the police were doing their thing. They had clearly been through this type of thing before and probably would in the future, too. Poor kids.

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