I’m Mo-Telling On You!

, , , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(The city has just started a month-long arts festival, and there is also a motocross championship happening, so you can’t get a motel room easily. I’m checking into a cheap motel with an okay reputation, just happy to get a room at short notice. I’m checking in early and know that I might have to wait a little while before the room is ready. I’m filling out the registration form while the receptionist is on the phone. A well-dressed lady in her 40s storms in.)

Lady: *to me* “Urgh! This place is disgusting. You’re not staying here, are you?”

Me: “Actually, I am.

Lady: “Well, don’t. It’s disgusting — definitely not worth [price]!”

Receptionist: *off the phone* “Hello. Checking out?”

Lady: *throws room keys at him* “Yes, and I want a refund now!

Receptionist: “I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask why?”

Lady: “The mirror is smashed; I could have seriously hurt myself. There’s no parking, I had to park on the street, and the room reeks of cigarette smoke.”

Receptionist: “Ma’am, I explained yesterday that it had just been broken and that we would replace it, but you didn’t want to wait. Parking shouldn’t be a problem; we have more than enough spaces.”

Lady: “When there are a bus and a four-wheel drive with a trailer there are not!”

Receptionist: “We have allocated spots for large vehicles. Did you try closer to the office?”

Lady: “Well, how was I meant to know about that?! It’s not like I work here.”

Receptionist: “Anything else, ma’am?”

Lady: “The room reeks of cigarette smoke. I’m allergic. It nearly killed me.”

Receptionist: “We have extremely sensitive smoke alarms in the rooms and bathrooms that would have had the fire brigade here if someone smoked in the room.”

Lady: *huffing, now really angry* “This place is disgusting. I’m putting a review on [Travel Website] and talking to a lawyer.”

Receptionist: “Ma’am, you arrived last night when we were full. We managed to get a room ready when someone had checked out early. I explained about the mirror when you inspected the room, and you stayed over checkout by two and a half hours and didn’t bring this to my attention. I can’t help you, but the owner will be here tomorrow if you want to talk to them.”

(The lady storms out, cursing.)

Receptionist: *takes a deep breath* “I’m so sorry about that.”

Me: “That’s fine, not your fault.”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry, your room isn’t quite ready yet. It is room eight, the room she complained about, but once it’s ready you can inspect it and the mirror can be fixed later this afternoon.”

(He looks scared that I will cause a scene.)

Me: “It’s okay. I’ll just go and get a coffee up the road, and I’m sure the room’s fine. She’s just a b****.”

(The receptionist looks relieved and laughs a little. I leave as more people come in. Twenty minutes later, I get the call to check in. The room doesn’t smell of smoke, there is a small amount of damage to the bottom of the bathroom mirror where the glass has been removed, and there is plenty of parking, just not right beside the room. Later, when I check out, both the receptionist and owner are there, with the owner on the phone in the back office.)

Receptionist: “Miss [My Name], I hope the room was acceptable.”

Me: “It was fine. The mirror didn’t bother me, I couldn’t smell smoke — I have severe allergies — and I found the parking fine. I really appreciate the early check-in. Thank you. I’m lucky to have gotten a great room so cheap at this time.”

Owner: “Hi, are you the lady that stayed in room eight last night?”

Me: “Yes, I did.”

Owner: “Can you please tell me what happened?”

(I recount what happened, and I give my impression of the room and the great job the young receptionist did.)

Owner: “Thank you. I just had that other woman on the phone demanding a refund, saying that [Receptionist] yelled at her and called her a rich b****, and that [Receptionist] had been smoking when she inspected the room.”

(I was given a discount on my room by the owner and thanked by the receptionist and wished a safe trip. As I was about to drive away, the receptionist ran out with bags of drinks and snacks, more than enough to keep me going through my eight-hour drive home, as a thank-you. Seriously, lady, you check into a cheap motel at one of the busiest times of the year, when other motels are charging up to five times their normal rates, for under $100, and expect five stars?!)

Her Intent Is Deafeningly Clear

, , , , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(I work in a fast food franchise that specializes in sandwiches and curly fries. I wear hearing aids. Three customers come up, and the following happens:)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]; order whenever you’re ready.”

Customer #1: “I’d like a [meal #1] with fries and a drink, thanks.”

Me: “All right. Would you like to make it small, medium, or large?”

Customer #1: “Just a large, thank you.”

Me: “Sounds good.”

Customer #2: “I’d like a [meal #2].”

Me: “Would you like it as a combo?”

Customer #2: “Sure.”

Me: “Small, medium, or large?”

Customer #2: “Medium, please.”

Me: “All right, and you?”

Customer #3: “I’d like a [sandwich #3], no fries or drink.”

Me: “All right. I have a [meal #1] with a large drink and fries, a [meal #2] with a medium drink and fries, and a [sandwich #3]. Is there anything else?”

Customer #3: “That’s not what I ordered!”

(Something about their tone makes me think there is going to be trouble.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you’d like, I can get the manager.”

Customer #3: “Do it!”

(I go and get the manager, who takes the order again on the other register and sure enough, it’s the exact same.)

Customer #3: “I didn’t order any of that!”

Manager: “It shows here [Customer #1] ordered a [meal #1] as a large, [Customer #2] ordered a [meal #2] as a medium, and you ordered a [sandwich #3].”

Customer #3: “I demand free food!”

Manager: “I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that here.”

Customer #1: “We’re so sorry. I think she thinks she’s entitled to free stuff just because she noticed your worker is deaf and thinks she is ‘incompetent.’”

(The manager kicked out [Customer #3]. Sadly, I don’t work there anymore, but that is still my favorite manager to this day.)

The Customer Is Always Right: A Paradox

, , , , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(I’m in the checkout line. A guy in front of me is whining and reprimanding the cashier about how he never gets good customer service here. He has already paid, so he’s just wasting my time at this point. The cashier, a youngish female, is being sweet and patient with him, but she’s obviously agitated by him, and I’m getting annoyed.)

Customer: “I remember when the customer was always right.”

Me: “I’m a customer. You, sir, are an annoying douche. I’m a customer, so I’m always right.”

Customer: *looks at me* “I’m annoying?”

(I assume he’s asking me a question, although he could simply be confirming his agreement with my assessment.)

Me: *smile, shrug* “You betcha.”

Customer: “I bet you voted for Hillary Clinton!” *leaves*

You’ll Find It Next To Gilligan’s Island

, , , , , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(I work in a visitor center in an area known for its high Gullah population. Gullah people are the descendants of African slaves who developed their own unique culture, language, and religion in the American low-country. For some reason, we get a lot of visitors who think that they live on some kind of reservation like zoo exhibits, and it is surprisingly difficult to convince them that Gullah are regular people who live like everyone else. This call, however, really makes me question my faith in humanity.)

Me: “Good afternoon. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “I want to go to Gullah Gullah Island.”

Me: “I’m sorry; did you say Gullah Gullah Island?”

Caller: “Yes. I heard it was in South Carolina and I want to go there.”

Me: “Sir, as far as I know, that’s just a TV show.”

Caller: “No, I was told it was in South Carolina.”

(While he’s talking, I’m looking it up to see if it is a real place.)

Me: “It looks like the TV show was based on Saint Helena Island, which is a gorgeous island with lots of Gullah history—”

Caller: “No, I want to go to Gullah Gullah Island to see the Gullah people.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what else to tell you. Gullah Gullah Island itself is not a real place. It is based on a real island, which is a lovely place to visit, but it is not called Gullah Gullah Island.”

Caller: “You’re useless. I’m going to talk to someone who actually knows what they’re doing.”

(I hope he enjoys his visit to the non-existent Gullah Gullah Island!)

Not What They Mean By Working At Check Out

, , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(As a cashier, I serve an older man from time to time who constantly flirts with all the girls. It doesn’t make me too uncomfortable until the time I turn around from bending over to grab more bags.)

Old Man: *looks up to my face* “Oh, sorry.”

Me: *not understanding what he means, and smiling* “Sorry?”

Old Man: “I was just checking to see if the back was as good as the front. I thought it was quite nice.”

(I suddenly realize he thought I caught him checking me out and I am shocked into silence. I try to avoid him or rush through his order as fast as possible after that, and I hide when I see him. There are no more incidents until I am shopping with my family one day, and he happens to be in the line behind me.)

Old Man: *standing really close to me* “It’s a nice day out, isn’t it?”

Me: “Haha… yeah.” *starts trying to pay*

(He stands immediately behind/beside me, obviously looking down my shirt with a big grin on his face.)

Old Man: “It’s really hot out, though.”

Me: “Sure is.”

(I grabbed the change, moved far away from him, and waved over my partner who was waiting with our son by the exit. My partner helped me collect our bags while the old man backed off for once, looking surprised and disappointed by his presence. He wasn’t nearly as perverted to me for the rest of my time working there.)

Page 1/5,03312345...Last