On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 18

, , | Right | March 26, 2019

(I’ve worked for this store for around three years, in three different locations. Tonight was the first time I’ve ever encountered a customer that made me want to take a shower after speaking to him. About five minutes before my shift ends and the customer on the other side wants a kids book called ‘Trick or Treat.’ I know we haven’t received our stock of Halloween books yet but I figure I can go ahead and order him one.)

Me: “Do you know the author’s name?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, do you know if there’s any special character or animal associated with it, such as [Popular Children’s Book Character #1] or [Popular Children’s Book Character #2]?”

Customer: “No, it’s just called Trick or Treat.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, there’s many books with that title, so without a character or author I can’t order it for you.”

Customer: “Try [Author #1].”

Me: “She does have a book called Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet. Is that the book you’re looking for?”

Customer: “What’s the title?”

Me:Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet.”

Customer: “Wow, really? What’s the description?”

(I pull up the blurb and tell him the first couple of sentences. At this point, he asks me to repeat the title and then the description once more. Alarm bells start ringing in my head and I remind him that the book is not in store and that we won’t have any Halloween books for a couple of more.)

Customer: “Right, I guess I’ll try again in a few weeks. What about books on torture?”

Me: “In… the… children’s section?”

(Yes, I did say it exactly like that. This being my second day at this new location, my new coworkers definitely gave me some strange looks at this point.)

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, the children’s section won’t have books like that.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. What about in your historical war reference section?”

(Those alarm bells from earlier are now a full-fledged siren. Around a year or so ago, I heard a story about a guy who would call stores until he got a female worker and then ask them to describe different books, which was later determined to be his kinks. These books included torture books, especially foot torture. Now I’m just looking to get off the phone in as quick as a manner possible.)

Me: “We don’t have any in the store, unfortunately. Do you have an author in mind?”

Customer: “What about [Author #2]?”

Me: “Unfortunately my system doesn’t pull anything up for that author.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

Me: “Have a great night, sir.”

(I hung up the phone, called my manager, and told him I was leaving, and clocked out before the phone could ring again.)


On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 17

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 16

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 15

Card Payments Are Basic Human Rights, Apparently

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(The credit card system breaks down due to a server error. We hang a sign outside apologizing and explaining the situation. A couple walks in.)

Customer: “I’ll pay with a card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s not possible right now. The system broke down. Cash only.”

Customer: “But I want to pay with a card. Can’t you just let me do it?”

Me: “As I said, it’s not possible. The system is not running. I’m sorry—“

Customer: “Are you kidding me? You can’t refuse my payment, you idiot! Who’s the customer, you or me?”

Me: “I’m sorry. The system broke down. It’s just not possible. It’s not our fault. The company’s whole system has broken down.”

(The man walks away and joins the woman in the seating area. They are discussing for about ten minutes, constantly pointing at me and shaking their heads. Then I get a call by the company that they fixed the problem; the system is running again. I approach the couple.)

Me: “Excuse me. The problem was fixed. We can accept cards again.”

Customer: “Do you really think we still want to buy anything from YOU? I am a customer and you have to show me at least some basic human respect!”

(However, they stayed in the seating area for about one hour, just talking.)

Speed Rant

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(Because my daughter is waiting for me outside my home and I’m headed home from work, I am in a bit of a hurry to get a few items for dinner and go. I get into the “15 items or less [sic]” line where there are two cashiers. The guy at the near cashier has a mostly full cart, but fortunately he’s reached the point to have to pay so I figure this won’t be a problem. The second cashier tries to wave me over but I point to the other customer’s cart positioned so I can’t get past and I make a shrug and palms-up motion. I figure I’ll wait it out. But then I get frustrated as the other customer — who appears to be about my own age — is struggling with the credit-card reader. I sigh internally and wait for him to finally finish and go. I throw my four items on the counter and after he’s out of earshot and say:)

Me: “So how many customers come through who seem like they’ve never seen one of these before?”

Cashier: *laughing* “You would be amazed. It was just as bad before the switch.” *meaning adding the ability to read the chips in cards now, not just swipe*

Me: “And how many still use checks?”

Cashier: “Also way too many. I thought those were gone. I’ll take your rewards card.” *which she quickly scans and hands back*

Me: “Me, too. I guess they use the excuse that they are old.” *I pause* “I am old and I know how to use these things, so what’s their excuse?”

Cashier: *laughing* “You have a great day, sir.”

Me: “You, too.”

(The whole thing was done that fast. And who says you can’t have a friendly conversation in the fast lane?)

Making The Same Old Mistakes Is Its Own Reward

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(I work in a gas station for a popular grocery store.)

Customer: “It’s not reading my card.”

Me: “Okay. It resets itself after a minute of inactivity, so we’re just going to run your information again.”

Customer: “But I just put this all in.”

Me: “Yes, sir. But it resets after a minute. It just needs your rewards card, please?”

Customer: “I don’t understand. I just put this in.”

Me: *ignoring them at this point* “Okay. So there’s your rewards card. It just needs your credit card now.”

Customer: *swipes card, in the opposite direction the little picture says*

Me: “Oh. It looks like it was swiped backwards. I just need the strip facing left.”

Customer: *swipes again and it goes through* “Huh. That’s weird. I did all of that exactly like that last time, too.”

Me: “Well… these machines are old. Sometimes they just don’t cooperate.”

A Deadly Combo Of Sheer Anger And Pure Stupidity

, , , | Right | March 25, 2019

(This takes place at a fast food restaurant drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: *sharply* “Hold on, okay?”

Me: “All right, let me know when you’re ready to order.”

(Five whole minutes pass. I can hear them just talking to their passenger about unrelated things while four cars pile up behind him.)

Me: “Are you ready to order?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, I guess. Give me a number 18 with an orange juice.”

Me: “All right. Anything else?”

Customer: “Give me two number 18s, with orange juice. That’s it.”

Me: “Does everything look right on the screen?”

Customer: “I never wanted two combos. Why did you put two combos?”

Me: *slightly irritated* “Okay, I took it off. Does everything look right?”

Customer: “What are you doing? Are you stupid? I want one combo and then the crunch-wrap by itself.”

Me: “…Okay, sir. You can pull forward.”

(I meet him at the window, moderately annoyed but cheerful.)

Me: “So you have one combo and one crunch-wrap?”

Customer: “NO! I just want two crunch-wraps! Why don’t you understand this?”

Me: “All right, sir.”

(Despite my self-control, I’m struggling to keep cool. I hand him his bag of two crunch-wraps.)

Customer: “Where are my drinks and my hash-browns? I wanted two combos!”

Me: “Sir… you didn’t want two combos.”

Customer: “So you didn’t ring me up for what I f****** ordered?”

Me: “…”

(I shoved two hash-browns into his bag, handed it over, and went to dunk my head in the fryer.)

Page 1/4,85512345...Last