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The customer is NOT always right!

The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem. Then, Ice Packs.

, , , , | Right Working | May 27, 2022

I work at the concession stand at a movie theater. We have a giant push-cart that we use to bring stock from our supply rooms to the stand. I’ve parked it next to the concession stand. I’ve just finished unloading about ten bags of popcorn kernels and several thirty-five-pound boxes of popping oil. I’m on a medication that gives me frequent urination as a side effect, and it suddenly hits and I have to pee like crazy, so I decide to run to the bathroom before taking the cart back to the supply room. Probably not a good idea, but if you gotta go… you gotta go.

I come out of the bathroom to see a customer — a man in his forties in a business suit — walking through the lobby, staring at his phone. I watch in horror as he walks around the side of the concession stand, hits his shin on the push-cart, and does what I can only describe as a “slow-motion fall.” He sort of crumples to his knees, then his butt, then… kind of flops down onto his back on top of the cart while muttering a surprised, “WWWUUUAAA!”

I rush over to him, assuming the worst. I’ve seen a few falls in the ten years I’ve worked here — almost none of which were actually our fault — and most of the people exploded and threatened lawsuits, demanded free stuff, etc.

Me: “Are you all right, sir?”

Customer: “Um… yeah, I think.”

Me: “All right. Hang tight. Let me get my boss, and she can contact an ambulance if needed.”

Customer: “No. No. Please don’t do that.”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I’m gonna be honest. I’d just rather… pretend this didn’t happen. This is the third time I’ve fallen this week because I was distracted by my cellphone. I really don’t want anyone seeing the security footage. I don’t think my pride could take it.”

Me: *Amused* “Are you sure?”

Customer: “Yes.”

He very calmly stood up, brushed himself off, dug out his wallet, placed a $5 in my hand, made a “Shhh!” gesture, and wandered away.

Jumping To Conclusions, Are We?

, , , , , | Right | May 27, 2022

I was working at the service desk. A man in a hoodie with the hood up came up and got behind the guy I was helping. Then, an old black woman came in. She walked right past the man waiting and plopped her things down as soon the man who was being helped was done.

I looked at the man in the hoodie and called him forward.

The lady immediately began to yell and accused me of being racist for helping the “white” man before her.

The man pulled his hood down. He was also black. The lady then went quiet.

This Strip Club Is The Hottest Place In Town

, , , , , , | Right | May 27, 2022

A buddy of mine owns his own electrical contracting company. He has many customers that have been his for decades. One Friday night at about midnight, he got an emergency call from an old client that converted his bar into a topless bar which required an increase in electricity use. The lights were flickering on and off, certain outlets stopped working, and others were sparking. My buddy showed up and went to the electric panel box. The pipe coming out of the top was glowing red! That meant it was heated up to an incredibly dangerous level.

Buddy: “You gotta shut this down now! This is about to burn down!”

Client: “I can’t! It’s Friday night! Do you have any idea how much money I make on Friday and Saturday nights? I will shut it down on Sunday and you start working on it then.” 

Buddy: “No, you don’t understand. This will not make it another hour, much less the night. This is a huge safety and fire issue. This is beyond dangerous, and you are putting your employees and customers in extreme danger if you don’t shut this down now.”

Client: “No, I can’t afford to do that.”

My buddy took pics with his cell phone and left. He called the fire chief’s office but didn’t get anyone, so he left a message. About three in the morning, he got a call back asking him to get back to the bar. Yep, it burned to the ground. Thankfully, everyone got out okay. A few had to go to the hospital for smoke inhalation but were released a few hours later.

Fire Chief: *To my buddy* “So, the owner said you were the electrician that worked on this just a few hours ago. What happened?”

My buddy figured they had the idea HE did something to cause this fire. He explained everything and showed him the pics.

Buddy: “Look, Chief. I knew this would go up in flames. I told him. I even called your office when I left here and left a message for you. I did no work on this because I knew this was dangerous. I tried to tell him to shut it down.”

The chief immediately had charges brought against the owner who later had to pay all the hospital bills. Plus, insurance refused to cover the loss because of the negligence. The sad thing is that this was not the only case of someone not listening to my buddy and their business or house end up burning down.

Always listen to the professionals you hire. They know what they are talking about.

You Help One Person…

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Wat_am_3y3 | May 27, 2022

I had just moved to the city and had just started working at a bank. I didn’t have the company apparel yet but had a good amount of business clothes, plus I like dressing nice. I was done early that day, so I figured I’d stop to do some clothes shopping.

I was shopping around the store in the business attire section — in my business attire, so one could guess why there would be confusion. This lady who only spoke Spanish asked if I spoke Spanish and if I could help her. I said yes and asked what she needed.

Lady #1: “¿Sabes donde están las maletas?” *Do you know where the suitcases are?*

Me: “Perdón, señora, yo no trabajo aquí, pero creo que están en el primer piso.” *Sorry, ma’am, I don’t work here, but I think they’re on the first floor.*

We both laughed and she commented on how nice my clothes looked. It made me blush a little bit — I’m self-conscious and she thanked me for helping her.

Less than a minute later, another lady came up to me and demanded in a not-so-nice way that I get her another coat with matching pants in a particular size, asked why we had suits mixed up, and insisted specifically that I get her a f****** dressing room since she had no idea why we only had two open in the middle of the health crisis.

I explained to her that, 1) we were in a health crisis, 2) I didn’t know s**** about suits; I just wear them, and 3) I didn’t f****** work there.

Lady #2: “Of course, you f****** work here. Why else would you be dressed like that?”

Me: “Because I like dressing nice, and frankly, it’s none of your business.”

Lady #2: “Well, I saw you helping the other lady! Stop lying!”

Me: “Because she was nice. Maybe you should try it every once in a while.”

At this point, one of the actual workers saw what was going on and intervened. We both happened to be in the changing room later (different stalls), and she started going off on the phone about how a “rude employee” refused to help her.

When I was done trying on new suits, she was talking to the manager about me, and she exclaimed, “That short one!” when I walked by! The manager was like, “Who is that dude?”

I just laughed and paid for my clothes.

The Customer Has Too Much Data

, , , , , , | Right | May 27, 2022

I have a coworker on the neurodivergent spectrum. He essentially takes most spoken phrases literally and has difficulty understanding some societal nuances. Funnily enough, he talks at length about his love for “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and how he relates to the character Data.

Customer: “I need to return this iPhone.”

Coworker: “What is the reason for the return?”

Customer: “It broke.”

The customer presents a phone with a cracked screen. The receipt puts it outside our return window.

Coworker: “Did you purchase a warranty with us or Apple?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to! It shouldn’t break so easily! I need this refunded!”

Coworker: “I’m afraid that if you’ve not purchased a warranty, there is nothing we can do.”

Customer: “Look! The customer is always right! I need—”

Coworker: “That’s not true.”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “You’re not right in this instance. And you’re a customer. Therefore, the customer cannot always be right.”

The customer is dumbfounded for a moment, as calling out the obviousness of the biggest fallacy in retail isn’t expected in our field.

Customer: “No… I mean, you have to do as I say! I need you to—”

Coworker: “That’s not true. I am here to service our customers within the store policies. Outside store policies, there is nothing I can do.”

Customer: “Then I need to speak to a manager!”

A manager is called, and the return is denied. As the customer storms out, she passes my coworker.

Customer: “And you! You… it’s like talking to a robot!”

Coworker: *Beaming* “Thank you!”