The customer is NOT always right!

This Situation Will Just Snake Along, Part 3

, , , | Right | April 13, 2021

I take my very docile ball python along with me on a trip to the pet store. That goes fine, and on my way home, I remember some things I need at the local thrift store. Now, a reasonable person would go home, drop off the snake, and go back out. But, for brain-no-worky-right reasons, it’s very hard for me to get back out of the house once I’m home. So, I am left with a choice: go home and try to remember to go another day or take my three-foot snake into a retail location that’s not pet-friendly.

I wrap my snake around my neck and pray everyone thinks he’s a particularly chunky necklace. It’s a slow time of day in the off-season, so I make it to the section I need without issue and start browsing. Then, I hear a gasp. I turn around just in time to see a teenage girl run off and, thinking the jig is up, scurry my way deeper into the store to find what I’m looking for and hope they’ll let me buy it before kicking me out.

As I’m frantically searching, I hear a soft “excuse me” from behind me and turn slowly to see the same teenage girl standing about ten feet away, shifting nervously on her feet.

Me: “Yes?”

Teenager: “Is that a real snake?”

Me: “Yes?”

She goes on to tell me that she’s terrified of snakes, but she’s never seen one so relaxed and calm before, and she asks for a picture. Having nothing to lose, I extract my snake’s head, rest it in my palm, and pose. She snaps a photo and thanks me, and I ask her if she would like to try to touch him, which has her going wide-eyed and shaking her head quickly. We say our goodbyes and I find what I need and head to the checkout, my snake having snuggled himself back in around my neck.

I finish paying and the cashier is just handing me my bags when he does a double-take. Welp, you can’t dodge lightning twice, I fear.

Cashier: “Is that a snake?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “That’s awesome. Have a great day!”

Good thing I didn’t need to do anything else that day. I’m pretty sure I used up all my luck in those ten minutes!

This Situation Will Just Snake Along, Part 2
This Situation Will Just Snake Along

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Customer Service Only Applies When You’re OUR Customer

, , , | Right | April 13, 2021

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I have an Xbox One and I want to get Red Dead Redemption for it. A friend has one for Xbox 360, and I played it on my Xbox One and it played, but I wanted to get the Xbox One version.”

Me: “The original Red Dead Redemption did come out on the 360, and it can play on the Xbox One, but the original didn’t come out on Xbox One; the sequel game did.”

Customer: “Well, I saw it at [Competitor]. Could you tell me if it would work on my console? And what the price is?”

Me: “I wouldn’t know what [Competitor] has in stock or what their prices are. I work here, so I can only tell you what our prices are and what we have in stock.”

Customer: “Could you call them and then call me back with the answer?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s not something I can do; I’ve got work to do here. But I’m sure you can!” 

Customer: *Hangs up*


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11 Funny Stories About Vivacious Volunteers!

| Right | April 13, 2021

Dear readers,

April is National Volunteer Month! Volunteers are the special kind of people who give up their time and energy for little to no compensation. But that doesn’t make them exempt from being the Not-Always-Working types.

So, we’ve rounded up eleven stories about volunteers of all kinds, from the helpful to the decidedly not. To help celebrate this occasion, maybe you can find a way to volunteer in your community this month!


Looks Like She’s Found Her Calling – Volunteering can totally change your perspective on life!

When All Else Fails, Blame God – “Religious” is not synonymous with “good”, nor “irreligious” with “bad”!

I’m Not Volunteering Any Felony Information – Of course, no one helps out their community unless they have to.


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Too Mulch Math

, , , | Right | April 13, 2021

I work at a home and garden center. We have a sale on mulch: five bags for $10. I wish I could say this happens only once but it actually happened several times a day:

Customer: “How much is black [Brand] mulch?”

Me: “It’s $2 a bag.”

Customer: “Oh, so it’s [Competitor] that’s running the five-for-$10 sale?”

Me: *Sighing* “Yes, sir. Us, too.”

Every single day.

I tried saying, “Five for $10,” but then I had to explain they didn’t have to buy five to get the sale price. I hated those sales.

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There’s Always One…

, , , , , | Right | April 13, 2021

Due to social distancing and repeated network issues, the Department of Drivers Services (Georgia’s DMV) is running even slower than usual. I, along with a few others, show up a few minutes before the office has opened to beat the rush.

Security: “Good morning, folks. We can only let ten in at a time. Take a number as you enter and we’ll call you when we’re ready. It’s going to be a few minutes before we can see anyone, but we can get ten of you in seats.”

Ten of us filter in and wait about five minutes. And then…

Employee #1: “Sorry about this, everyone, but we’re having some trouble with our computers. It’s going to take us a few more minutes.”

While we’re waiting, I see a woman looking around at the floor around her and then checking her pockets. Finally, she stands up.

Employee #1: “Just a few more minutes, ma’am.”

Woman: “No, that’s not it… I’m so sorry about this, but I skipped my coffee to get here early, and now I’ve lost my ticket and can’t remember my number.”

Employee #1: “No worries, ma’am. There’s only ten of you here, so I’ll let you know if someone doesn’t stand up when we call a number.”

Employee #2: “Good news, the system’s working! All right, customer number one! Can I get number one?

Woman: “Oh, that was it! One!”

She goes to the counter.

Man: “Geez, I guess she really needs that coffee! How can you forget being lucky enough to be first in line?”

Employee #2: “Number two. Customer number two… Number two? Does anyone have two?”

There’s a long silence. And then…

Employee #2: “Okay, if there’s no number two, let’s go on to number thr—

Man: “Oh! That’s me! Number two!”

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