Littered With Hints About His Litter

, , , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I am working alone and a family with small children walks in. The children start running around, messing with the displays and trying to go behind the counter, while both parents ignore them and order. I am trying to both control the children and take the order at the same time. I am very much an animal person, but not so much a children person.)

Father: “Children are amazing, but they do take a lot of patience, huh?”

Me: *frustrated but still smiling* “I am actually not planning on have children. My dog is my baby!”

Father: “Yes, but you have to be patient with children.”

Me: “And that’s why I love my dog!”

(He was fuming, but his wife got the hint and quickly gained control of their three young kids. Thank you, kind woman!)

The 1950s Called; They Want Their Misogynist Back

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I work at an amusement park. I am working at a pitching game when a guest comes up to me. I wear skirts to work, as I find them more comfortable.)

Me: “Hi, sir. How are you today?”

Guest: “So, they put you at this game because you are a girl, and guys will play it just to show off.”

Me: “…”

Guest: “It’s not like you know anything about baseball.”

Me: “Actually, my brother plays baseball, and I’ve been watching his games for the past 13 years.”

Guest: “But you’re a girl. How much do you really know about sports? Not like you play them, or anything. After all, you likely only learned to cook, clean, and take care of a house.”

Me: *blank stare*

Guest: “What? Girls who wear skirts to work are always super religious and traditional.”

The Fishy Customers Are The Most Interesting

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I’m finishing ringing up a customer and what appears to be his grandson.)

Me: *giving them their order* “Enjoy your movie!”

Customer: “Want to see something cool?”

Me: *curious* “Um… Okay.”

Customer: *holds up a picture on his cell phone of himself holding what looks like a very large fish* “I caught that myself, back in the creek over there!”

Me: *not knowing what to say* “Oh. Nice!”

Customer: “He took the picture!” *gesturing to his grandson*

Me: “Good job!”

(They took their order and left. I’m still slightly confused as to why he would want to show me that. It made for an interesting story, though!)

Looks Like There Were Some Side Effects

, , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(I am working as the cashier in the drive-thru.)

Me: “That will be $9.37, please.”

Customer: *hands me a rolled up ten* “This is how we used to roll our cocaine straws back in the day.”

(I just took the money, laughed uncomfortably, and shut the window. The girl in the passenger seat looked mortified.)

Saying Nothing Really Tells You A Lot

, , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(An older gentleman walks into the store. He looks extremely sour.)

Me: “Hi—”

Customer: *interrupting* “Pump three.”

Me: “Interesting way of saying, ‘Hello,’ but we’ll roll with that! So, pump three, $[amount] on… the card today?”

(The customer stares at card terminal.)

Me: “Okay, no worries.” *pause as transaction goes through* “…and that’s approved! You have a great day!”

(I turn to my screen to bring up the next customer, and then turn back to find the man still standing there.)

Me: “Do… you need a receipt?”

(He confirms this with a five-degree inclined nod.)

Me: “No worries. Sorry about that. I didn’t realise, because you didn’t say anything.”

Customer: *shouting* “Look: there’s no need to be a f****** smarta**!”

Me: “Um, I wasn’t. I was just–“

Customer: “I don’t want to hear it!”

(He proceeds to go on a rant as he walks out the door, leaning back to hurl more abuse as I calmly try to apologise for obvious miscommunication. Suddenly, he screams that he’ll never shop here again. It is at this point that my boyfriend, who works in the office, steps in.)

Boyfriend: *jumping out of office and running to service area* “Good! F*** off, then. We don’t want f****** a**holes like you here!”

(The man gets in his car and screeches off.)

Boyfriend: “Only I’m allowed to yell at you.”

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