I work in customer service for the local council. Part of my job is dealing with emergency housing repairs.

Caller: “I have no electricity! Everything has just stopped!”

I send the electrician, but the customer phones back a couple of hours later.

Caller: “The power is out again!”

Me: “What did the electrician tell you the first time around?”

Caller: “He told me the kettle was faulty and had tripped the circuit.”

Me: “Okay, so did you use the kettle again?”

Caller: “Well, yes, I wanted a cup of tea.”

Me: “…Did the electrician explain how to reset your electrical panel?”

Caller: “Yes, but I wasn’t paying attention because I was thinking about my cup of tea.”

I work in a Micro Center. A customer comes in, marches right up to me, standing at the small camera display, and says with a straight face:

Customer: “Don’t look at me like I’m a space alien, but do you have a camera that takes a picture of your aura?”

Me: “We… do not.”

Customer: “Ah, that’s too bad.”

Me: “You might have better luck in Best Buy?”

Customer: “Thanks!”

They leave, smiling. Sorry, Best Buy retail peers!

I work in a bookshop. We, of course, sell books. This happened twice now.

The first time a woman asked me for a book. I knew it was still on the shelf and went to give it to her. When I’m holding it, I stare at it in disbelief.

It was wet, there was a bookmark inside, the spine was broken in multiple places, the pages curled up… And the sticker on the back had clearly been peeled off something before.

I know I had a completely new copy of that book on my shelf maybe two hours ago. Someone came in and replaced the new book with their read and damaged one. The woman was shocked as well, and while she wanted the book, she of course wouldn’t have bought that. I also wouldn’t have sold it to her.

I talked to my boss, and she said I can just give it to the woman if she takes the damaged copy, since we’d have to throw it away. She was super happy and even bought the next book in the series, even though she hadn’t planned that, because she said she’d feel bad otherwise. She was super sweet, too.

The second time I’m cleaning up, fixing my shelf, and spot one of the books having the spine broken in multiple places.

Now, mind you, we sell new books. We don’t break spines, obviously. I take it out, and there’s a bookmark inside. Some pages are damaged, the spine, as I said, is broken, and the sticker with the price is stuck on badly. And the material it was made from is prone to having some of the colour on the cover rub off when you are reading. I’ve been there myself; it’s a clear indicator of a read book with that material. But yeah, someone put their read book on my shelf. Again.

I am seriously questioning how someone could even come up with such a thing.

A usual interaction for me:

Me: “Can I get your address?”

Caller: “90210.”

Me: “Thank you, now can I have the address?”

Caller: “Stupid-Doofus-At-Gmail-Dot-Com.”

Me: “Thank you, now may I have your postal, or physical address?”

Caller: “Oh! Why didn’t you say so?”

It’s time for a customer to pay.

Customer: “I don’t have my wallet, but you do have my card info, so we’re fine!”

Me: “Huh… we don’t have that information.”

Customer: “The card terminal stores all info! Wake up and listen to some intelligent TV!”

Me: “That terminal doesn’t hold card information. If it did, it’d be a hacked terminal.”

Customer: *She’s hitting it with the tip of her fingers.* “That terminal stores every card. I only need my PIN, and It’s okay! Ring up my total, I’ll show you!”

I get the terminal ready to accept payment by card. It displays the total and simply says “insert card/enter PIN”.

Customer: *Enters PIN.* “Why is nothing happening?”

Me: “Because it needs the card inserted first.”

Customer: “But it should have all my info!”

Me: “So the machine should know who you are?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, please tell it who you are.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “It should know who I am from my PIN!”

Me: “So if a customer has the same PIN, they can use money from your account?”

Customer: “…No!”

Me: “So how will the terminal know which bank account to take it from?”

Customer: “Look, I don’t get how it all works, but I saw this on TV, and you don’t need my wallet anymore! It should just know who I am!”

Me: “Did these customers do anything else? Like tap their phone instead, or maybe a watch?”

Customer: “Yes, I saw them tap a watch, but that’s just stupid! Who would pay for their groceries using a watch?!”

Me: “I can think of stupider things…”

She ended up paying cash…

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 35
PIN-Headed, Part 34
PIN-Headed, Part 33
PIN-Headed, Part 32
PIN-Headed, Part 31