Cancelling Your Cancellation Stunt

, , , , | Right | April 25, 2019

(I work as a ride-share driver. If someone requests a ride but cancels it after a certain amount of time but before they are picked up, they get charged a cancellation fee of $5. This is to make sure the drivers still get paid for their time and gas when they travel to pick someone up. If a driver cancels a ride for any reason, the rider is not charged the fee. To get around this, some riders will call the driver and ask them to cancel for them. I have just traveled 15 minutes to pick up a rider. As soon as I pull up to the address, they call me.)

Rider #1: “Hello! Hey, can you hear me?”

Me: “Hey, I’m right outside.”

Rider #1: “I am having trouble with my phone!” *hangs up*

(I wait two more minutes before calling them back.)

Me: “Hey, I’m at your address. Are you here?”

Rider #1: “I put the address in wrong. I’m actually a few blocks away. Can you cancel so I can request the ride again?”

Me: “You can update your location in the app. I’d be happy to meet you where you are to pick you up.”

Rider #1: *to someone else in the background* “He said he will come to get us here. What do I do?”

(Suddenly, someone else is on the phone.)

Rider #2: “Um, hello? Yeah, the app won’t let me change the address, so can you just cancel the ride?”

Me: “That’s fine. Just cancel through the app.”

Rider #2: “Oh, um, it won’t let me do that, either. Can’t you just cancel it?”

Me: *feigning concern* “Oh, no! Have you tried contacting [App] tech support? They can help you through everything.”

Rider #2: *pause* “You should probably just cancel. What if someone else requests a ride?”

Me: “I’m happy to wait until you get everything straightened out.”

Rider #2: “OH, F*** YOU!”

(About thirty seconds after the call ended I was able to mark them as a no-show, and they got charged the cancellation fee, anyway.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Turning It Up To Eleven

, , , | Right | April 24, 2019

(I work in a bank. This story happens on two separate days, Saturday and Wednesday, and with two different coworkers. We have a customer upset that her account is overdrawn by $500, and she has previously spoken to our manager about refunding her $100 in overdraft fees. He agrees that if she brings in enough to bring her account positive, he will refund the fees and reactivate her debit card. She comes in Saturday morning, while our systems are offline due to an update, and speaks to my coworker.)

Coworker #1: “Hi. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, my name is [Customer], and I spoke with your manager yesterday about refunding my overdraft fees and reactivating my card.”

Coworker #1: “Yes, I remember seeing that email. Unfortunately, our systems are going through an update, and the program we need to reactivate is currently unavailable. I can definitely put the money into your account for you.”

Customer: “Well, that won’t work! I need my card so that I can buy gas and groceries. Your systems shouldn’t be down when I was promised to have my card today.”

Coworker #1: “I do apologize, ma’am, but even if our systems were up, your card wouldn’t be activated until Monday because Saturday transactions don’t process until then.”

Customer: “No, that’s not what I was told! I’m not giving you any money until you make sure I can use my card. I need to be able to get gas for my car and groceries! So, if I can’t use my card to do those things, then I can’t give you money.”

Coworker #1: “Okay, just so you understand. Once we refund your fees and you deposit the money, you’ll only have a positive balance of $5. If you spend more than that, you’ll be overdrawn again.”

Customer: “You’re not getting money until I can use my card! I’ll just come back next week!”

(As the customer leaves, I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “Um… did she really just tell you she was basically planning to immediately overdraw her account again once she left?”

Coworker #1: “Pretty much.”

(Our bank charges extra fees for each day you leave your account overdrawn. Had the woman come back Monday, we could have still given her what she needed. But she didn’t come back until Wednesday, and gave the same spiel to [Coworker #2].)

Coworker #2: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t refund you all these fees.”

Customer: “No! I was in here on Saturday and your systems were down. I dealt with [Coworker #1]! And your manager said he would refund these fees!”

Coworker #2: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but because you waited until today to come in, even if I refunded the $100 fees, your account would still be negative due to the fees for Monday and Tuesday. If you would have come in on Monday, it would have been no problem.”

Customer: “The agreement with your manager was that he would refund all of my overdraft fees! This is ridiculous! I wasn’t going to give money unless I was able to use my card, and your systems were down, so I couldn’t do anything on Saturday. I shouldn’t be punished for your system error!”

Coworker #2: “I do apologize, ma’am, but even if the systems weren’t down, your card wouldn’t have been able to be activated until Monday because Saturday is Monday’s business day. You would have had no issues had you come in on Monday. But I already spoke with my manager and read the email he sent out, and it specifically said that he would only refund $100 worth of fees and nothing more. If you’d like to speak with him once he is off the phone, you can, but until he approves it, that’s all I can do.”

Customer: “I can’t wait for him! I have to be at work in five minutes! This is ridiculous. I’m just taking my cash!” *walks out the door*

Me: “Why would you come to a bank less than ten minutes before you’re supposed to be at work? She just wanted to cause trouble.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part “It’s Over 9000!”
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part We Don’t Even Know Anymore
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 83

It Does If You Fast-Forward At 88 Miles An Hour

, , , , | Right | April 24, 2019

I was at an office of my cable company, picking up my first DVR. The person helping me briefly went over how it all worked, like how far back I could rewind, recording, etc.

Then, with a resigned look, she adds, “You know you can’t fast-forward live television, right?”

I can only imagine how many complaining customers she’d dealt with who didn’t understand that the DVR was not, in fact, a time-travel machine into the future. I’ve never had so much sympathy for a cable company employee in my life.

This Guy Blows

, , , , , | Right | April 24, 2019

I was working the sales floor one day when I was approached by a gentleman wishing to purchase a two-stage snow blower. He explained that he needed something heavy duty because he had a business and had contracted to clean the sidewalks for our city. It’s important to note that we live in a very small town, so it was likely the blower would get much use.

After chatting with him, he settled on a 30-inch, top-of-the-line model. We prepped the unit and he was on his merry way. The “merry” part didn’t last long, however. The following morning he was waiting for me when I came in for my shift. He was furious and explained that he’d had problems with his “defective” blower. I asked what was wrong and he told me the “feet” on it were defective.

Each blower has a pair of plastic, or metal — as on this guy’s blower — feet that the snow-catching part of the blower rides on. The intention is both to set the blower to the desired ride height, but mostly as a sacrificial wear item so the actual blower isn’t getting ground away. In my entire career selling and maintaining these blowers, I’d never seen feet worn down more than an inch or two at the most.

When this guy showed me what had just yesterday been a brand-new, top-of-the-line blower, I was speechless. The auger looked as if it’d been chewing cinder blocks, and the discharge chute was full of dents and bends. The most perplexing part: both feet were ground off completely, along with the bottom two inches of metal of the bottom of the blower. Imagine this thing having been dragged on a giant cheese grater for several miles and you get the idea.

The customer insisted he’d only been using it for “light sidewalk cleaning” in town and claimed the damage had been as a result of “defective equipment.”

To make a long story short, I tried to uphold company policy regarding returns on equipment that was obviously abused and not being used for its intended purpose, but he threw a fit and I had to get the store manager involved. He eventually caved and the guy got a replacement blower.

The following morning, you guessed it, he was back and the replacement blower looked the same as the first. This time, the manager stood his ground and wouldn’t let the guy have another one. The man threatened to get our corporate office involved and get us “shut down” but quick thinking on the manager’s part — a call to the office to warn them of the impending call — prevented any further shenanigans.

To this day, I still can’t fathom what the guy must have been doing with that poor blower… dragging it behind his truck?

It Takes Teeth To Stand In The Wrong Line

, , , , , | Right | April 24, 2019

This happened about ten years ago when my husband and I went to the bank with our son, who was quite young and in a stroller. Our bank is one block long and very narrow, with a door on both ends to the street. They have one line that starts near the Third Street door; when you get almost to the Second Street door, you exit the line to go to the next available teller.

While my husband waited in the line I waited beside it, matching his pace so we could chat, since the stroller is a little wide for the lines. When it was his turn, I went past the line to stand near the Second Street door, while he went to the teller at the end closest to the Second Street door, so I was standing about five feet away from him, waiting for him to finish banking so we could leave.

An older man came into the bank from Second Street as we were approaching the teller and stood just past me, just standing there. The teller serving my husband motioned to the line for him and asked him to go stand in the line if he needed service. He declined, saying that this line was shorter, and continued standing there. The teller explained that this wasn’t a line, that I wasn’t banking — she confirmed it with me, as well — and that if he needed banking service he needed to go get in the line at the other end of the bank. Again he declined, as “this line” was shorter. As my husband finished banking and walked over to me to leave, the older man tried to go to the teller, and she again told him he needed to stand in line, and she called the next person over. As he was ranting about how he had waited in the short line and it should be his turn, my husband turned to him and said, “That line was the line waiting to go to the dentist. The line to get banking done starts over there. If you want to go to the dentist with us, now is the time; if you want to do banking go stand in the proper line.”

The old man actually started walking over to wait in line as we were leaving.

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