An Ice-Cold Attitude

, , | Right | February 17, 2020

(I work for a place that serves coffee. I just clocked into my shift and am feeling pretty good, just in a go-with-the-flow, peppy mood. I’ve got my smile on and I’m just gonna do my best. A customer comes in and asks for a medium coffee and a cup of water. The following goes down after he asks for water.)

Me: “Sure thing! Would you like ice in that?”

Customer: “No ice, please.”

Me: “All righty. Just to let you know, the water will be room temperature, then. Is that okay?”

(We just say that because it’s true and some people usually expect the water to just immediately be cold.)

Customer: “What? Is the water going to be boiling?”

Me: “No. Just room temperature.”

Customer: “A little bit of ice, then.”

(I charge him for his coffee and tell him the price.)

Customer: “WHAT?! ARE YOU CHARGING ME FOR WATER?!”

Me: “Oh, no. We don’t charge for water here. That’s just the price of coffee.”

(He tells me how he went to buy coffee last month and that he paid a cheaper price. I listen and I know the whole pricing thing. Unfortunately, I know that I can’t control the price. I do inquire if it was from this location. He tells me that it was from another location. I apologize and say that prices do change from place to place. I ring him up and he remarks how he could have gone to the convenience store to get a cheaper coffee.)

Me: “You could have!”

(I’m just trying to agree with him because what else was I supposed to say? I think at this point he is fed up with my so-said “attitude” because the next ensues:)

Customer: “I think I will. Give me my return.”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I start the return process.)

Customer: “What’s your name?”

Me: “[My Name]. Let me see if I can do your refund via card, seeing that you paid with a card.” *still keeping a happy attitude even though I’m dying inside a little*

Customer: “[My Name Pronounced Incorrectly]. Can. I. Swipe. Now?”

Me: *corrects him with the right pronunciation* “Go ahead, sir.”

(It doesn’t work, so I will have to refund him via cash.)

Customer: “[My Name Pronounced Incorrectly]. Can. I. Swipe. Now?”

(He had already swiped so I’m not sure why he is asking again.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll have to refund you with cash.”

(He agrees with it and as I’m giving him the money…)

Customer: “I don’t come to places like this often because of your attitude.”

Me: “Oh, okay. I’m sorry about that.” *gives him his money back* “Have a good one!” *still a smile and just allowing that to come at me*

(We still served him water. I ended up crying not because I felt as though I’d done something wrong, but because I was confused by it all. My coworker told me to go take a break. However, I didn’t want to because I felt like some weird sense of pride. If I left, I felt like it was allowing this guy to win. But I guess me tearing up a bit was me losing, huh? Funny thing: we saw him sitting at one of the tables with who I assumed to be his son. Said son wasn’t at the cash register so probably was wandering around. When the man left, he felt some need to point at me to his son. Was he trying to be the evil monkey from “Family Guy”? Maybe?)

Giving New Meaning To The Term “Cheap Date”

, , , , , | Right | February 17, 2020

(For the last few years, I’ve been running a restaurant that has been my own personal project. Thanks to some great reviews, my place has gained a decent popularity over time and we now have a number of regulars who love our food and service. I’m really proud of this since I have built it from the ground up. My place is in quite an affluent area, but both my staff and regulars know I will not stand for anyone entitled or rude. On one slow Sunday afternoon, I see what looks like a high school senior in a Letterman jacket pull up in an expensive-looking SUV. He appears to be on a first date with a girl and both look a little nervous. When they walk through the door, he breezes right past the hostess and sits at an empty table in the middle of the restaurant and immediately yells:)

Kid: “SERVICE!” *clicks his fingers loudly*

(The server is there immediately but the kid mocks him for being “slow” and proceeds to speak to him in the most condescending and patronizing voice you can imagine. Several times he refers to him as “dumb” and then comments that he “probably didn’t finish high school,” but, true to form, our server still maintains a wonderful and professional attitude and seems to just ignore the kid’s attempts at mocking him. He’s being an irritating little twerp, but we figure he’s just trying to impress his date. However, even she looks a little unimpressed.)

Date: “Why are you being so rude to the waitstaff?”

Kid: “Oh, that’s just a little joke between us. I’m here all the time! In fact, I’m basically family! 

(I’ve never seen this kid before ever.)

Date: “Well… they didn’t seem to like it! Maybe stop doing it!”

Kid: “Nah, just chill. We’re so tight here! In fact, they let me eat for free!”

(This line now has my back up and I gather my two servers and tell them to be wary of this kid as he might try to dine and dash. When they serve him the bill, one server stands by the table and I have another mop the floor at the front, so he can be close to the doors. When we give him the bill, there are inevitable fireworks and he immediately starts screaming for a manager. Today, my manager called in sick, so I am covering the front of house management duties. This kid has been loud and boastful to his date the entire time and has clearly irked the patrons. When I walk over to him, he has a face like thunder.)

Me: “Hi, sir. How may I help you?”

Kid: “Yeah, you want to tell me why this a**hole charged me for my food?!”

(I give him an “Are you kidding me?” look.)

Me: “That’s how a restaurant works, sir; you order food and then you pay for it. Did I miss anything here?”

Kid: “Look, how about you just comp my meal and things won’t get unpleasant for you!”

Me: “Was the service bad?”

Kid: “No.”

Me: “Was any of your food undercooked or inedible?”

Kid: “No.”

Me: “So, explain why the h*** I would comp you?”

Kid: “Because my dad happens to know a lot of important people! Does the name [Guy] mean anything to you?”

(He has a really arrogant sneer on his face. His date looks super embarrassed by him.)

Me: “No, sorry.”

(He looks extremely shocked at this fact.)

Kid: “You must not have heard me, I said [Guy]!” 

Me: “Still doesn’t ring a bell.”

Kid: “WHAT THE H***?! HE OWNS THE F****** [Luxury Car] DEALERSHIP! EVERYONE KNOWS HIM!”

Me: “Okay… I don’t, I’m afraid!”

Kid: “Well, he happens to be a personal friend of the owner! And he’ll be furious if he finds out you pissed off his number-one customer!”

Me: “Oh, he knows Oliver?”

Kid: *smugly* “Yeah, sure does!”

Me: “Describe him to me!”

Kid: *suddenly nervous* “Err… he like… umm… has, like, blonde hair and, like… err… tall and stuff! Look, just comp my d*** meal!”

Me: “Can you please read my badge?”

Kid:Fine! It says [My Name], owner…”

(Immediately, his face drains of color and he starts to look worried.)

Me: “So, we’ve established there’s no Oliver! Now, either you pay your bill, or I get the police involved!”

(Quickly, the kid pulls me to one side; his once cocky demeanor has completely vanished.)

Kid: “Look, I’ll level with you! I don’t have any money; can you just do me a solid?!”

Me: “H*** no! Either pay or you get arrested.”

Kid: “I just thought you’d know who my dad was and give me free stuff! Everyone does business with him!”

Me: “That’s a really stupid plan, first of all. Secondly, I don’t give out free food!”

Kid: “Come on, help a brother out! I’ve been begging [Date] to go out with me for weeks and I promised her a free meal! If she has to pay, then everyone will laugh at me and say I’m cheap! Please, I’ll pay you back double with interest next time; just give me it free this time!”

(His date has looked unimpressed with him the entire time, so I think a second is already out of the question.)

Me: “Then call your dad and get him to come and pay! Either way, that bill is gonna be settled.” 

Kid: “WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT!? THIS PLACE SUCKS! COME ON, [DATE], WE’RE LEAVING!”

(He makes a defiant stride towards the doors, but my server quickly locks them while his date remains frozen to the spot! By now, many of my regulars are angrily yelling at him and demanding he pay up and stop being a brat. The kid looks as if he wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.)

Me: “You have three choices here. One: get arrested, two: get your date to pay, or three: get your father down here pronto. Either way, your meal is getting paid today! Next time, don’t act like such an idiot!”

(Totally humiliated, he was forced to call his father and ashamedly tell him that he had gotten into a very tricky spot. He showed up a few minutes later and furiously berated his son in front of his date and the restaurant. He paid for his son’s meal and was thoroughly apologetic for his behavior. Unfortunately, the story didn’t end there. The next day, his son put up a very abusive review online, complete with multiple expletives, about how he hated my restaurant and how I ruined his date by “being a cheapskate” and how he should have gotten a free meal. Then, he called for people to boycott my place. Worst of all, he made several threats of bodily harm and even mentioned firebombing the restaurant. When several of my loyal customers tore him apart and threatened their own version of harm, his review was quickly taken down. The next day, the father came in with his son in tow and angrily made him apologize to me! He explained that several of his regular customers had taken business elsewhere because of his son’s review and, as a punishment, he had taken away his son’s car, computer, and allowance and was forcing him to work for free in the dealership. Ironically, after that day, his dad became a semi-regular customer of mine and has hosted several dinners at the restaurant. Each time I see his son, he looks as if he just swallowed a lemon. Several of the business friends in town say this kid pulled this name-dropping stunt a few times, but thankfully, I was the first to put him in his place and teach him a lesson.)

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Provided An Example For Her Son Regardless

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2020

(I am sixteen and a lesbian. I am ringing up a couple with their son.)

Mother: “You’re a very nice and polite and beautiful young lady! You’ll have no trouble finding a husband.”

Me: “Well, I’m actually a lesbian, but thank you. I’m sure I’ll find a wife.”

(All of a sudden, the mother frowns, and then grabs her groceries off the belt.)

Mother: “I’m not letting some homosexual touch my groceries! What kind of example will this set for my child?!”

(I am too shocked to respond. That’s when a voice from below speaks up.)

Son: “Mommy, didn’t you say that love is the most important thing? So does it matter is she loves boys or if she loves girls, as long as she loves them?”

(The mother’s face turned beet red from embarrassment. I was so proud of this kid and to this day I still am.)

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Like eBay, But Crap!

, , , | Working | February 17, 2020

(In the early days of my online business, I get lots of interesting “proposals.”)

Client: “Hey, [My Name]! I’ve got a business proposal I want to run by you.” 

Me: *immediately suspicious* “Okay… What’s the proposal?” 

Client: “I’m working on a website and you can get in on the ground floor. It will connect businesses with customers. It will be like eBay, but for [my industry].”

Me: “Okay, what would you provide that I can’t do on my website, word of mouth, social media, or [websites that already cater to my industry]?”

Client: “But it’s like eBay! Don’t you want more revenue?”

Me: “And how exactly are you going to pay for web server space? Advertising? Taking a cut of what I make? Charge for listings like eBay does?”

Client: “Oh, none of that. I would use the site to collect potential clients and refer them to people like you. All I’d ask is a 10% referral fee to keep the site going.”

Me: “Yeah, no. I already have more clients than I can handle on my own. I don’t think I’ll need your site.” 

Client: “But it’s like eBay!”

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Sales On Vulcan: Infinite Savings In Infinite Combinations

, , , , , | Right | February 17, 2020

(I work for a company that primarily sells its products online. We just had a 20% off sale that ran for a few days. It has been over for a week when I get this call.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “You guys never run any sales! Why don’t you run any sales?”

Me: “Well, we just finished up a 20% off sale last week and run sales all the time. Did you miss our emails and advertising about that sale?”

Customer: “No, I saw them, but 20% is nothing!”

(I take a moment to see what she normally orders and it looks like she would have saved about $25.00 on her regular order. I, of course, let her know this and let her know about upcoming sales.)

Customer: “Wait… You’re saying I could have saved $25.00? Why didn’t you tell me that when you sent the email for the sale?”

Me: “We did, in fact. The email said it was a 20% off sale.”

Customer: “But how am I supposed to figure out how much that is?”

Me: “Well, an easy way would have been to estimate your normal order at $100. 20% of that would be $20, so you know that you would have saved more than $20 on the purchase. In this case, it would have been about $25.”

Customer: “You should just put exactly how much I am going to save in the email!”

Me: “We could, but as every order is different, the amount saved will also be different.”

Customer: “Well, how am I supposed to figure that out? I don’t have a computer to figure that out!”

Me: “Do you have a calculator?”

Customer: “I don’t have that, either!”

(That’s when she hung up in anger, and when I got up to make some coffee and shake my head.)

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