Pide Aquello Que Quieres

, , , , | Working | January 26, 2021

I have been applying to many jobs, including fast food. I’m mixed; my dad’s Hispanic but my mom’s native, so I have a Hispanic last name. This leads people to think I’m fluent in Spanish, but I’m not. I can understand it but not speak it. I tried to learn but it’s a very hard language in my opinion.

I get a callback from a certain burger fast food restaurant, from a lady with a Hispanic accent.

Caller: “[My Name]?”

Me: “This is [My Name].”

She fumbles, trying to speak English, and then hangs up. The job ad was in English. I don’t know why they don’t put it in Spanish if they want a Spanish speaker.

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Frequently Annoying Flyer

, , , | Right | January 26, 2021

I’m a passenger on a tiny shuttle flight from New York. One guy who boarded right after me is some sort of fancy frequent flyer and is being an a** to everyone on the plane.

A small woman boards the plane with a small backpack. As she is going through the aisle, the backpack grazes his arm for a second, and he gives her a clearly strong shove; she stumbles straight into a row of seats. She doesn’t seem hurt or frazzled; she just ignores him and goes to her seat, while he exclaims loudly:

Jerk Passenger: “Well, you touched my arm with your backpack!” 

Later, the pilot makes the announcement that we’ve reached cruising altitude and people can go to the bathroom. The guy right behind the jerk stands up to go to the bathroom, and this guy immediately yells:

Jerk Passenger: “What are you doing?! You’re a danger to everyone on this plane. Sit down!”

For a shuttle flight, the seat belt sign never turns off, which was why the pilot made the announcement to begin with. The whole plane was baffled because we could all hear him shouting from the front of the plane. The flight attendant had to make another announcement that passengers could use the bathroom for him to settle down.

The jerk then stood up and went to the bathroom himself! As he passed, the guy he’d yelled at asked if he still felt like a danger to everyone on the plane now, and he just glared at him and stomped off. I saw him talking and gesticulating at the flight attendant for ten minutes later, while standing around in the aisle!

I feel bad for the poor attendant, but boy, was I glad to get out of there when the plane landed.

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“My Job, [New Hire]. My Job.”

, , , | Working | January 26, 2021

I work in a big box store. I’ve been working there for about a year when they hire a part-timer who is maybe seventeen. This is almost definitely her first-ever job and she is, to put it delicately, not very good at it. Unfortunately, due to my tendency to be friendly towards new hires — innocent until proven guilty and all that — she gloms herself onto me whenever we are on shift at the same time. This isn’t necessarily a problem, since I don’t mind doing some training, but she winds up being… a little grating.

No matter what I am doing, she comes up to me and asks the same question, always in the same incredulous tone, resulting in variants of the following conversation almost every day.

New Hire: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m printing new price tags.”


New Hire: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m downstocking.”

Or my personal favorite:

New Hire: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m checking the schedule.”

New Hire: *In the same incredulous tone* “Why?”

Me: *In my head* “Well, it changes every day, you see.”

Me: *Out loud* “To see who’s working when…”

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Not Bready For This Level Of Cheapness, Part 2

, , , | Right | January 26, 2021

I work in an Italian restaurant. While it is a chain with hundreds of stores, we make everything from scratch. Like many restaurants of its type, we offer complimentary sliced bread to every table.

This weekend, our slicer has been broken, but we have simply given the bread unsliced and explained the situation, which most customers have accepted, but I’ve had the following conversation at least three times.

Me: “Here is your bread and olive oil. Just to let you know, our bread slicer is broken and we couldn’t get a replacement this weekend, so the bread is unsliced.”

Customer: “What? The bread is the whole reason we come here! What are you going to do about it?”

Me: “Well, we’re getting a new slicer as soon as possible, hopefully on Monday, so—”

Customer: “No! What are you going to do about it for me, right now?”

Me: *Sighing* “I’ll tell you what. For your trouble, I’ll comp the bread off your bill.”

Remember, this bread is already free. I generally hope they’ll realize I’m joking, and how ludicrous it is to demand compensation for your free food being ever so slightly less convenient, but, sadly, I still get this when the cheque comes out:

Customer: “Where’s my discount for the bread?”

Not Bready For This Level Of Cheapness

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Time To Move Far, Far Away. Narnia, Maybe.

, , , , , | Related | January 26, 2021

My boyfriend’s father can be a little… inconsiderate. He’s often selfish to the point that he doesn’t like to be around his grandchildren because then everyone does what they want to do and not what he wants. He also likes to show off things that he’s purchased and will impulsively purchase properties and cars, show them off, get tired of them, and sell them again.

It’s safe to say that, when my boyfriend and I were looking for a place to live, the distance from his parents was a definite factor. When we found out that a condo was available in the same complex where his parents live — literally across the driveway — we were skeptical about choosing it. Fortunately (or unfortunately), we wound up absolutely loving the condo and weighed the consequences of living across from his parents. Throwing caution to the wind, we purchased the condo and did the final closing the following month.

My boyfriend was able to move in immediately, but I had to finish a lease in my previous apartment, so I had to wait another month. Over the next two weeks, my boyfriend started telling me stories about his father making offhand comments about our place and how nice it was and how he was going to use our basement to work out, and jokingly asking if we wanted to switch condos. I laughed about it, but I knew that he honestly was a little jealous; personally, I think our condo was far superior to theirs.

Then, I got a call from my boyfriend, who sounded a little miffed. At the time, my boyfriend was working at least ten hours a day, six days a week, and his parents were recently retired. We gave his parents a key to our condo for emergency purposes and thought we could trust them to not abuse our security. Come to find out, his father took it upon himself to give tours of our condo! Everyone that stopped by — distant relatives, friends of his parents — knew that it was our condo, but his father bragged about it like it had been his idea for us to purchase it; they did let us know about the listing, but he was not involved in the decision or mortgage at all.

But the real reason that my boyfriend was upset was that his father gave tours to two of his other children, something that my boyfriend was really looking forward to doing for his own siblings. I was upset for him and for me. This was the first house for both of us, and we had been looking forward to showing it off. Now, his father had selfishly taken it away for his own satisfaction.

There is a bit of a silver lining, though. The next weekend, I came up to the house to drop off some things and spend time with my boyfriend, who was at work when I arrived. I was exhausted from moving things and was relaxing in the living room. I glanced out the window to see my boyfriend’s father talking animatedly to my boyfriend’s mother, brother, and his brother-in-law as they walked towards our condo. In a flash, I realized that they didn’t know I was home — parking is in a different location away from the condos — and he was coming to give another tour!  

I sprang into action and opened the door just as his father went to unlock it. They all seemed surprised to see me, but I quickly welcomed them in and offered to give them a tour. My boyfriend’s brother and brother-in-law agreed, and soon I was excitedly showing them the house and discussing all the plans we had to redo and remodel. My boyfriend’s father was silent from the moment he saw me, and by the time we moved upstairs, he was no longer with us. I peeked outside and saw him sullenly going back to his condo.

When my boyfriend got home, I told him what had happened and he was overjoyed. I moved in a few weeks later, and as far as we know, his father has not tried anything like that since.

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