Seeing Eye Snake

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(The store I work in technically has a “service animals only” policy, but a lot of people bring their dogs in, anyway. This particular morning, however…)

Customer: *comes up to my register with a small purchase*

Me: “Good morning!”

(I go through the transaction normally for a moment, and then notice she has an item in her hand that she hasn’t put on the counter for me to ring up.)

Me: *internally freaking out but continuing with the transaction, because this is not an item we sell* “Have a good day!”

(I left my till shortly after that to go work on a project, all the while internally wondering who does that. This woman had come in with a living, breathing, moving SNAKE. It was wrapped around her hand, just chillin’. She said nothing, and I said nothing except the typical idle chit-chat. I was so surprised that I didn’t know what to say.)

Hydra: The High School Years

, , , , | Learning | March 19, 2019

(This story takes place a little while after “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” comes out. I am a freshman in high school and a huge nerd; I am 100% into Marvel comics, as well as the movies and TV and Netflix shows. Since I am such a fan of “Agents of Shield,” my parents got me a shirt with the Shield logo on it, which I am wearing to class today. It is one of the few days I actually have my math homework finished.)

Teacher: *after checking my work* “Nope, you’re getting a zero.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Teacher: “Hail Hydra.”

(He does give me a grade for the assignment, thankfully. Three years later, I walk into my senior-level math class, which is with the same teacher from my freshman year.)

Teacher: “Oh, [My Name]. Good to see you, and Hail Hydra.”

(I barely passed math that year, but it was not due to the vicious rivalry between our organizations of choice, but rather my complete inability to pay attention to math.)

Unfiltered Story #144569

, , | Unfiltered | March 19, 2019

Lady over drive through speaker: … Oh, and I want cheese on my fries.

Me: Cheese on your fries?

Lady: Yeah, y’all always put cheese on your fries.

Me: Ma’am, we don’t offer cheese fries.

Lady: You guys don’t have cheese anymore?

Me: Ma’am, we have NEVER offered cheese on our fries.

Lady: Oh. Well, if you could just put the cheese y’all always have on them, that’d be great! *drives away*

First Came The Wet, Now Here’s The Wild

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(I’m working at my store when a guest service employee and two wet guests walk in. The guest service employee asks to speak to my manager, so I call her over and I see them talk in the corner, leaving me all alone with the guests.)

Me: *trying to be funny* “Was there a rainstorm I missed?”

Guest #1: “We went on [Water Ride] but didn’t know we’d get wet!”

Me: “Oh… I’m sorry?”

Guest #1: “Guest service said we could get free shirts. She’s just talking to your manager.”

Me: *my managers are all about upselling* “We also have towels available.”

Guest #2: “Oh, good idea! We’ll also ask for a free towel!”

(My manager comes back and tells them they can pick any shirt in the store. The guests ask about towels, and my manager lets them take a $24 towel, also for free. What we use to do for lost or stolen shirts that were comped is we gave them the cheapest shirt we had, which was like $14, because the merchandise budget loses money. We don’t do that anymore, though, so we can give guests the most magical experience. So, these guests come back with $40-60 shirts! My manager takes the tags off and sends the guests on their way.)

Me: “I don’t think it was fair they got free shirts for their mistake.”

Manager: “I agree, but whatever; it’s coming out of rides’ budget, anyway!”

Unfiltered Story #144561

, , , | Unfiltered | March 19, 2019

Customer : that creal is $2.45
Me: are you sure mam, sales are usually in the computer
customer: I saw the label it said 2.45
Me:ok I’ll send a bag boy to check out the price
customer :no I’m going
Me:ok
customer returns with the label that she ripped off the wall
customer: see I told you 2.45
me: mam that says save $2.45
customer : that’s false advertising I demand to speak to your supervisor
Manager: is there a problem here
Customer : she is trying to cheat me out of my money I demand to be given this sale
manager :mam this isn’t on sale it’s just saying that you are getting it cheaper than if you got it at another store
customer :what kind of place is this (she throws the box of creal at my face screaming every swear word I know of) I don’t want your f***ING creal you b**** wh**
she then leaves without any of her items or her purse her husband came by to pick it up and apologize for her about 2 hours later

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