Somebody Needs A Nap(kin)

, , , , , | Working | July 28, 2021

It’s about four in the morning and I need a snack — insomniac here — so I drive down to the nearby gas station, pick up a drink, and go to their fresh donut stand to pick out donuts. I lift the tongs from the inside of the case and start picking. As I’m picking up the last donut…

Cashier: “You’re supposed to use the napkins.”

Me: “Uh, sorry? What napkins?”

The cashier gestures to the napkins… on top of the donut case, out of visible sight.

Cashier: “Use ’em.”

Since I’m done picking my donuts, I go to the counter. She rings me up.

Cashier: “How many you got?”

Me: “Three regular, one apple fritter—”

Cashier: *Interrupting me* “So four, then?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, I thought the type mattered.”

She tuts at me. My card goes through.

Me: “Have a good one.”

The cashier just grumbled something about sanitizing the tongs.

I understand we are in a health crisis, but if you want people to use the napkins, put them in plain sight and take the tongs from the display entirely. Also, if it matters so much, maybe wear a mask, and maybe don’t be a b**** to your semi-regulars at four am?

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Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 17

, , , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I am twenty years old and working my first job in retail. A customer comes up to me with his purchases. It’s a Saturday afternoon and the store is busy.

Customer: “You should really have more registers open. More than half the people are putting their purchases down and walking out. If I didn’t have [Store Coupon], I would have left!”

This is in no way true. We have had all the registers open; it’s been a sort of all-hands-on-deck situation. As for customers walking out without their purchases, I have seen nothing of the sort. It’s been a pretty normal day at the store. Most customers seem happy on their way out and they’ve been nice and understanding for the most part.

Me: “Well—”

Customer: “You should really talk to a manager about this. Every time I come here, there’s some sort of problem. This store is terribly mismanaged.”

Me: “I apologize for the wait, but—”

I was about to say we were doing everything we could when the customer stormed out. I was left bewildered. What did he expect us to do? I can’t just materialize cashiers and registers. I’m just glad that I got to take my lunch break immediately after.

Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 16
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 15
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 14
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 13
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 12

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When The Stick Deal Isn’t Sticking

, , , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I work as a cashier at a popular pet store chain. We currently have a buy-two-get-the-third half-off deal on all dog treats, rawhides, and bully sticks. Part of the deal is that you can mix and match whichever three products you want; however, as most BOGO-type deals go, the cheapest one will always have the discount. 

Customer: “Hi, I bought these three bully sticks, but I didn’t get one half-off like the sign said.”

Me: “Oh, no! Do you have your receipt on you? I can do a quick adjustment!”

The customer hands me the receipt. I notice that she also purchased a bag of training treats which were a little cheaper than the bully sticks, so the discount was applied to them. I explain this.

Customer: “But I saw the deal on the bully sticks and I got three of them!”

Me: “Yes, but the deal goes for all treats and chews, including the training treats, as well. The cheapest product will always be the one that gets discounted.”

Customer: “But I got three bully sticks!”

Me: “Yes, but with the sale, you can mix and match with any of the treats and chews, so two of your bully sticks were counted as the ‘buy’ and the training treats were the ‘half-off.’ Make sense?”

Customer: “No! I got three bully sticks!”

Me: “Yes, and since the sale goes for all treats and chews, two of the bully sticks were counted as ‘buy’ and your training treats, which were also part of the sale, got counted as the ‘half-off.’”

Customer: *Nodding*

Me: “Make sense now?”

Customer: “No, I still don’t get it.”

Me: “Would you just like to return them?”

Customer: “Yes. But I still don’t get it! I got three bully sticks!”

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Meet Uncle Yikes

, , , , , | Related | July 28, 2021

My uncle has “views” on the topic of tattoos and piercings. Specifically, he believes that they are ugly, gaudy, unnecessary, and that anyone who gets them is a vain idiot. He is very vocal in expressing these views, much to the annoyance of the rest of our family.

I have accepted an offer to attend college at a fairly well-known liberal arts college, which convinces my uncle that I’m going to get “inked up” and come home a hoodlum, etc. He tries to convince my parents that they should bar me from going, but they are both very supportive of me and so ignore his “advice.”

After my first semester, I come home for Thanksgiving and our extended family is all there, including [Uncle]. That leads to this moment in the middle of our living room.

Uncle: “All right, [My Name]. Let’s go check you out.”

Me: “What?”

Uncle: *Standing up* “Come on. I’m going to make sure you’ve been keeping your skin clean.”

Mom: *Walking in* “Excuse you?!”

My uncle starts to launch into his typical rant about tattoos and how “no niece of his” is going to mess herself up with them. My mom turns around, lifts up the back of her shirt, pulls down the hem of her jeans, and reveals a small butterfly tattoo on her lower back, which I (and most of the family, apparently) had no idea was there.

Mom: “You can kiss my a** if you think you are going to go anywhere with my daughter to ‘check her’ for tattoos.”

[Uncle] exploded, ranting and shouting. He ended up hauled out of the house bodily and thrown onto the lawn, giving my dad and younger brother some bruises in the process. After some of the things he said then and in the next couple of weeks, most of our family has cut ties with him, with only our grandma (his mother) still keeping in actual contact with him.

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Their Definition Of “Good” Is Crusty

, , , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I work in a restaurant that has a bakery section. We often have people come in to eat and then order one of our specialty pies to take home with them, but some people simply come in to order pies directly. A lady walks in and heads right to the bakery counter.

Customer: *Without even a hello* “How good are your pies?”

Me: “They are very good. We have apple—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Yes, but how good are they?”

Me: *Thinking she is worried about freshness* “They are made fresh each morning and then as needed throughout the day. We just—”

Customer: *Letting out a big, loud sigh* “Yes, but how good are they?”

Me: “Very good. We have several five-star reviews about—”

Customer: *With an identical big, loud sigh* “But how good are they?”

I am getting fed up with trying to play guessing games with her and with getting interrupted.

Me: “On what scale, ma’am?”

This apparently breaks her out of her mental rut.

Customer: “Huh? What? I just want to know which pies are good.”

Me: “Our apple pies are excellent, and they are my favorite, but I still don’t know what you mean by ‘good,’ given that quality, freshness, and good reviews apparently don’t cut it.”

She just stared at me for a bit before making a big production about sighing, shaking her head sadly, and then turning to walk out the door. I still have no idea what type of answer she was expecting.

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