It’s Cute You Think They Actually Listen To You

, , , | Right | January 24, 2021

I am finishing up a transaction with a customer.

Me: “We will also email a copy for your records. The email address we have on file for you is [email address]. Is that still correct?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “You should expect to receive the email once processing is complete, which will be twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Caller: “Can you email me a copy of this?”

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English Really Isn’t Any Better

, , , , | Working | January 24, 2021

My dad works at an international company. They hire people and take on clients from all over the world. One day, he receives this message in the group chat from his supervisor.

Supervisor: “[Dad]: And now we have the phstodyxufhsoa from Germany, hahaha!”

Dad: “I’m sorry, what?”

Supervisor: “It’s a joke.”

Dad: “No, it isn’t. You’re being needlessly mean.”

Supervisor: “Dude, chill out. It’s just a joke. I’m sorry you didn’t find it funny because you have no sense of humor.”

Dad: “No, I didn’t. You’re making fun of the German language. As a company with an international presence, we have a duty to respect any and all of our clients and their cultures and languages. If you had sent this to another chat by accident, you’d be in deeper s*** than you are now. This kind of talking needs to stop or I’m talking to HR.” 

His supervisor didn’t respond to that. I’m so proud of my dad here; he’s absolutely not a perfect picture of acceptance, but he stood up to his supervisor for being a racist, xenophobic bully. Every little bit!

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A Uniform Response, Part 5

, , , , | Right | January 24, 2021

I have had three different jobs and I still have the uniforms for my other two, which were fast food. One of them was a coffee shop that is well-known but not too popular. I often wear the uniform shirt in public because I still love the place and don’t mind the free advertisement. I also have some pretty bad anger issues; I just feel angry for no reason at all kind of often, with a hair-thin trigger. This happens on my first ever trip to the much more popular coffee shop. I order and sit at a nearby table on my phone to wait.

Lady: “Get up!”

She is standing right in front of me, just staring. I look up at her.

Me: “What do you want?”

Lady: “That’s no way to talk to a customer! Get your a** up and make my coffee! I swear, lazy-a** millennials like you are ruining this country.”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Lady: “Don’t lie. I’ve seen you here! And it says it on your shirt! I am a paying customer; you can’t—”

I stand up and slam my phone down on the table and stand toe-to-toe to her. She is maybe an inch shorter than me so it isn’t that intimidating, but she does back up a couple of steps.

Me: “Excuse me? I don’t f****** work here. You know d*** well I don’t, as this—” *gestures to the name of the coffee shop on my chest* “—is nowhere f****** close to this shop. You don’t need to be talking s*** like that to workers or random-a** people. Now piss off; my drink is ready.”

I went up and got my drink. I didn’t bother seeing what happened to the lady after I said that.

Related:
A Uniform Response, Part 4
A Uniform Response, Part 3
A Uniform Response, Part 2
A Uniform Response

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The Memeing Starts Early

, , , , , | Friendly | January 24, 2021

My friend Felicia has a son who is learning to speak. One day, I am at Felicia’s house for a grill out. Her son is going around offering up his sippy cup to “bump cup” with everyone else. Another friend is sitting beside me when the toddler comes up to him.

Toddler: “Hey. Hey. Bump cup?”

Friend: “What?”

Me: “He wants you to bump cups with him.”

I point to his beer bottle.

Friend: “Ohhh. Cheers, little man!”

They bump cups.

Toddler: “Cheers!” *Laughs*

Friend: *Laughs* “Yeah, cheers!”

Toddler: “Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!” *Pumping his cup in the air*

Felicia: *Rolling her eyes* “Now he’ll go to preschool and try to cheers with everyone.”

Toddler: “Cheers!”

Friend: “I didn’t think he’d repeat me.”

Felicia: “He’s a parrot.”

Friend: “Oh, yeah? Hey, [Toddler], come here.”

[Toddler] goes to [Friend], who whispers something in his ear. [Toddler] then goes to Felicia and bumps her with his cup.

Felicia: “Hey! What are you doing?”

Toddler: “Bye, Felicia!”

He runs away giggling.

Felicia: *Dramatic sigh* “Now he’s not going to stop saying that for weeks!”

[Friend] sits back and sips his beer.

Friend: “I know.”

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Here’s A Tip: Don’t Do This

, , , | Right | January 24, 2021

I serve at a popular steak house and I’m on a closing shift. I have been working there for over five years and am extremely comfortable in my job and tableside manner.

It’s coming to the end of the night and I am sat with my last table: a six-top of men in their late twenties. Sweet! I’m a woman in my twenties, and I know there is a great chance of making a nice tip. They are there to celebrate a birthday and, as expected, they order a few rounds of large drinks, big steaks, and ribs.

I get their order in and serve the first round, and after the drinks are getting low fifteen minutes later, I realize that seat six may be drunk already. There was no indication they had been drinking when they came in, and they were initially all very polite and normal. I make a mental note to avoid offering him another drink and continue on. Pretty quickly, seat six is jokingly berating me about where his ribs are, while I keep my cool and laugh it off.

Me: “They have to cook first!”

All is fine, I do my job, and then seat six starts taking my tongue and cheek as flirting. He starts saying a few crude things, but he is still PG-13, nothing I’m not used to. I’m here for the tips.

Then, the guys are all digging in, I’m checking on their food and drinks, and seat six very boldly asks:

Seat Six: “When do you get off work?”

Cue the rest of the table looking embarrassed.

Me: *With a smile* “When I’m done.”

Seat Six: “How about we go f*** in your car when you’re done?”

“EWWW!” I’m mentally screaming.

Me: “I have a boyfriend. No, thanks.”

I’m trying to be smooth and not super confrontational, just trying to awkwardly get out of this conversation.

Seat Six: “Well, I have a wife. It doesn’t matter!”

Mic drop. The whole table is shook. I’m shook.

In that moment, I really don’t care.

Me: “Well, that’s f****** disgusting. You should be ashamed!”

He tried to play it off but probably wasn’t expecting me to bite back.

The entire table was extremely embarrassed. I carried on with an annoyed smile but acted as if nothing was wrong. They paid quickly, and in their embarrassment, EVERY SINGLE GUY started throwing bigger bills at me. I finished out the night with an extra $120 in tips and a delicious feeling of girl power.

Source: Reddit (Credit anonymous by request.)

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