It’s Time For Them To Punch Out

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 5, 2019

(I was involved in an incident that left me anxious around strangers. I’m barely able to talk to them and I really don’t want to be touched by them. I have been getting help, but I still have to have family or a friend go with me whenever I go out. I’m out shopping with one of my closest friends. I’m deciding on what chips I want when he says he is going to the next aisle to grab some water. I’m okay with this since it should only be less than a minute before he gets back. As soon as he goes around the corner, a middle-aged woman comes up to me.)

Lady: “Excuse me. Can you tell me where the [item] is?”

(I’m feeling anxious already, but she was polite so I manage to answer her.)

Me: “Sorry. I don’t know where that is.”

(Her politeness disappears immediately.)

Lady: *raising her voice* “What do you mean, you don’t know? What kind of employees do they hire here that don’t know where anything is?!”

(The employees wear long-sleeve, white dress shirts with a tie, black slacks, and either a vest or apron. I’m wearing a white hoodie and black jeans.)

Me: *starting to shake and tear up* “I don’t work here. I—“

Lady: *cutting me off* “BULLS***! I saw you help that young man just now.”

(I’m now beginning to panic when I see my friend come around the corner and begin to walk toward him.)

Lady: *grabs me by the arm* “DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME, YOU LAZY B—“

(That’s the last thing I hear. I’m not 100% sure what happens but my friend tells me that as soon as the lady turns me, I punch her in the nose. Then I kind of black out for a little while. My friend tells me this is what happens after I punch her.)

Lady: *now holding her bloody nose* “CALL THE COPS! THIS F****** EMPLOYEE JUST ASSAULTED ME!”

Friend: *checking on me* “She’s not an employee; she’s a customer. And you grabbed her first.”

Lady: “DON’T YOU LIE FOR HER!”

(A manager comes over with the security guard and an employee who is another friend of mine.)

Manager: “What’s going on?”

Lady: “THIS B**** PUNCHED ME FOR NO REASON!”

Friend: “You grabbed her first.”

(The cops are called, and I begin to calm down. I see the employee holding my hand trying to calm me down.)

Me: *disoriented* “What’s going on?”

Employee: *calmly and quietly* “It’s okay. Can you tell me what you remember right now?”

Me: *starting to hyperventilate when I see the lady* “That woman grabbed me.”

Employee: *rubbing my hand* “It’s okay. The cops will be here and it will all be sorted out.”

(I just want to go home now. I pull my knees up to my chest and I start crying. My friend sits next to me and tries to calm me down. The lady still has to get her jabs in.)

Lady: “You know you f***** up, don’t you?”

Manager: “Miss, could you please leave her alone?”

Lady: “NO! THIS F****** B**** ASSAULTED ME AND SHE KNOWS SHE’S GOING TO JAIL! THAT’S WHY SHE IS CRYING!”

(My friend has had enough. I have never seen him so mad.)

Friend:No! She is not. You’re the one who grabbed her, because you’re too stupid to listen when someone says they are not an employee.” *points to cameras and the end of the aisles* “And those will prove it.”

(The lady now has a worried look on her face and starts to walk back out of the aisle toward the exit, but the cops show up. The manager leads the cops, my friend, and the lady to his office to review the tapes while the employee stays with me.)

Me: *crying* “I want to go home.”

Employee: “As soon as they let [Friend] leave, we can go. How about when this is done I go get some [my favorite ice cream] and stop by [my favorite pizza place] and we watch some Disney movies?”

Me: “Don’t you still need to work?”

Employee: “No, I just got off. I can leave whenever we’re done here.”

(I agreed, and [Friend] came out and asked if I was ready to go. It took me a few more minutes to get up and go. On our way home, my friend told me that after they reviewed the tape and he explained how I don’t like to be touched, the cops were very understanding. The lady wasn’t, and she flipped out, slapping my friend and kicking the manager. The lady was arrested and that’s the last I heard about her. My employee friend came over later with the ice cream and pizza and we watched Disney movies for the rest of the night.)

Drive-Thru Now Applies To Solid Walls

, , , , , | Right | February 28, 2019

(I work in a bank. We have just closed up for the night. My coworker and I are balancing the vault when we hear a loud crash and feel the building shake.)

Coworker: “HOLY CRAP! What was that?!”

Me: “Sounds like it came from the drive-up. You don’t think someone hit us, do you?”

Coworker: “Oh, no.”

(We run out of the vault, across the lobby, and into the drive-up area. Thankfully, there is no hole in the wall, but there is a slightly damaged car parked at an awkward angle in our business deposit lane. The customer in the car looks very confused.)

Me: *through the mic* “Sir, are you okay?”

Customer: “Did I hit something?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “What did I hit?”

Me: “You hit the wall, and you hit it very hard. We felt the building shake. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Customer: “I need to make a deposit!”

Me: “Sir, we’re actually closed for the night. Can I call someone to come pick you up? Your car is damaged.”

Customer: “NO! I’m FINE! It’s still drivable, so I’ll come back tomorrow!”

(He reverses out of the lane at a crazy angle, and speeds off. My coworker and I stare at each other.)

Coworker: “At least there’s no hole in the wall…”

Pizza So Good It Knocks You Back

, , , , , | Right | February 27, 2019

(There’s a small gate you have to go through to reach the door to my apartment. It’s really squeaky, so I can tell when someone’s coming to the door. On this particular day, I’ve ordered pizza, and I happen to be near the door when I hear the gate. I open the door before the pizza guy knocks. Unfortunately, my face ends up right where he’s about to knock, so he knocks on my forehead.)

Pizza Guy: *going dramatically pale* “Oh, my God! I just punched you in the face! I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean—“

Me: *laughing* “It’s okay, really. It didn’t even hurt. I probably shouldn’t have opened the door before you knocked, but I could hear the gate.”

Pizza Guy: *hopefully* “So… You don’t want to speak to my manager?”

Me: “No, there’s no need for that. I know you meant to knock on the door, not my face. Do I need to sign anything for the pizza?”

Pizza Guy: “Oh! Yeah, here you go.”

(The pizza guy looked incredibly relieved that I wasn’t going to cause any trouble over it. From then on, I made sure to wait to open the door until the person knocked.)

It Took Five Hours To Ruin His Whole Business

, , , , , , , | Working | February 8, 2019

This happened twenty years ago. I was a truck driver driving a fixed route of deliveries to several factories in the country. Mobile phones weren’t as common as they are now, so when I was on the road there was no way for my boss to contact me. It was normal for me to leave my boss’s place at 0700 and not return before 1900. Sometimes it would happen that my boss would phone one of the addresses on my route to leave me a message: pick up a load at that address, don’t deliver the load at that address but at that address, etc.

One day I came back, parked the van, and went into the office to hand in the car keys as usual.

My boss told me that my wife had called and that it sounded serious. Of course, I called my wife, and she told me that her father had died five hours ago and she needed me to come home. I asked her when she called my boss. She told me she had called five hours ago and told the boss.

I hung up and asked the boss why he didn’t relay the message five hours ago. He told me that he’d considered that, but he knew that I would return home immediately and that would be very inconvenient for him. And as my father-in-law was dead already it wouldn’t make any difference if I finished my route.

He didn’t see me leave because he was KO’d on the floor. I never returned to the place. I started work with another company one week later. I told them when I applied why I was looking for a new job, and they didn’t have any problems with me hitting a jerk in the face. I did have to go to court, but that was to get my outstanding pay, which I did.

I also made a call to the Dutch Bureau for Taxes about tax fraud, about having five different vans on the road on one license plate, about double sets of books, and about shipments of “medicinal herbs” to certain warehouses.

The Worst Kind Of Chain Store

, , , , , , , | Working | February 6, 2019

(I am browsing in a shop that sells jewellery, scarves, and other accessories. I find something I want to buy and wait while they serve another customer, a young woman who is trying on a necklace. Neither the customer nor the owner speak English as a first language.)

Customer: “I’m not sure. I think the chain might be a bit long.”

Owner: “We could cut the chain, if you like.”

Customer: *noncommittally, as if she’s mulling it over* “Okay.”

(The owner’s wife immediately snatches the necklace away and cuts the chain.)

Owner: “That will be [price].”

Customer: *looks at the necklace again and tries it on with the new chain length* “No, I don’t think I want it.”

Owner: “You have to buy it now. We cut the chain for you. We can’t sell it.”

Customer: “I didn’t ask you to.”

Owner: “You said, ‘Okay.’ ‘Okay,’ means, ‘Yes.’ You don’t speak proper English. I speak English. ‘Okay,’ means, ‘Yes.’ You must buy it.”

Customer: “I don’t want to buy it.”

(Then, the owner and his wife physically manhandled the woman out of the shop, yelling about how they were going to call the police on her. I threw down the thing I was thinking of buying and ran out of the shop, too, chasing after the woman, who was sobbing on the street, to console her. I still regret not calling the police on them for assault, or even saying something to them.)

Page 1/612345...Last