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Assuming And Assaulting Make You Double The A**

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: MPrigge0124 | October 13, 2021

I am a twenty-five-year-old woman, and I have about five different things wrong with my left foot and ankle. I have three forms of tendonitis and two joints with osteoarthritis in my foot. I also had surgery on this ankle about two and a half years ago. I deal with a lot of pain and have a very noticeable limp. I’m in pain almost every single day of my life, and currently, there isn’t much I can do to alleviate the pain.

I work ten-hour shifts and range from being on my feet the whole time to possibly sitting most of the day. Yesterday was a very busy day, so I was on my feet the whole time. By the time I got off, I was in a lot of pain — probably about a nine on the pain scale. I needed to stop at the grocery store to pick up some veggies to go with dinner. I was doing my shopping and was just getting through the store pretty slowly so as not to cause any shooting pains in my ankle and foot. All the sudden, this elderly woman stopped me.

Woman: “I just hate your generation! All you guys do is fake an injury so you don’t have to work. Your limp isn’t real. Get over yourself.”

Me: “Okay.”

I tried walking away. I was so exhausted and really didn’t care what she thought. I just wanted to get my stuff, leave, and go home to ice my ankle.

Then, the woman walked up behind me, pretended to stumble, and full-on kicked my left ankle.

Woman: “Oops, sorry!”

I yelped in pain, now fully pissed off and crying in pain. I turned around and pointed to my visibly swollen ankle.

Me: “Okay, b****, look at my ankles! Do you notice the difference in sizes? I’m actually in a lot of f****** pain! I just got off a ten-hour shift being on my feet the whole day and have multiple injuries in this leg!”

Woman: *Surprised* “Well, how am I supposed to know that?”

Me: “You aren’t because we don’t know each other! But you decided to make my problems your business by saying I’m faking it and then kicking me.”

An employee walked up after hearing my yelp and the commotion.

Employee: “What seems to be the issue here?”

Me: “I was accused of faking an injury because my generation sucks and then was kicked in my bad leg.”

Woman: “She’s faking it and you can tell she can walk just fine. I didn’t mean to kick her. I stumbled and it just happened.”

Employee: *To me* “Would you like to police called to file a report?”

The woman went pale white and started to stutter.

Me: “No, I just want this lady to f*** off, and I want to finish shopping and go home!”

The woman tried to continue pleading her case but instead got kicked out of the store, and I got a discount on my groceries!

I don’t think she injured my ankle any more because this morning, there wasn’t any bruising and the swelling had gone down.

And That’s A Wrap On That Assault

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2021

I work at an everything-costs-a-dollar store, and we sell wrapping paper. The tubes look normal-sized, but since they are only a dollar, there are only four to five feet of paper on it. A woman storms into our store holding a tube with just scraps of wrapping paper clinging to it and comes straight to my register.

Customer: “You ripped me off! You tricked me into thinking this was a whole roll of wrapping paper! I want my f****** money back from you bunch of f****** liars!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we only offer exchanges, not refunds, and I cannot exchange an opened, used, seasonal product. I believe the paper’s dimensions were also listed on the original packaging, so you were not lied to.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! You lied and ripped me off and you won’t f****** fix it!”


Through this exchange, she had been getting louder and gesturing broadly with the empty wrapping paper tube. Stunned, it took me a moment to realize she had just hit me over the head with it. That’s right — she smacked me with a cardboard tube for following store policy.

I just stared at her in shock as I reached for the phone to page my manager. Meanwhile, I saw the realization of what just had happened cross her face. She turned bright red and dashed out of the store, never to be seen again. I informed my manager I was taking an extra break and walked off to consider all the decisions that led me to this station in life.

Move Or Be Moved

, , , , , , , | Working | September 30, 2021

I’m about to pick my kids up from school. As I turn the handle on the door, someone presses the doorbell. I open the door and a guy with a clipboard is stood there.

Me: “Not a good time; I’m leaving the house.”

Guy: “It won’t take a moment.”

Me: “I don’t have a moment. I need to leave, now.”

Guy: “I’m sure you have a moment to hear about the great savings.”

Me: “Look. You move or I go through you.”

He looks me up and down and smirks.

Guy: “I don’t think that is going to happen.”

Me: “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I go to step around him, but he actually pushes me back. I am not much to look at but I’m deceptively strong and have trained in martial arts for several years, so I at least have a bit of an idea of how to handle myself. I step on his instep, collapsing his knee, and let him fall into the nearby bush.

Me: “Like I said, move or be moved.”

The next day, someone claiming to be the guy’s manager came to my door. But I was able to show him the video of the guy pushing me first. And before I could finish my sentence, the manager apologised and muttered something about, “Not again.”

The company didn’t bother me afterward.

Revenge Is Sweet, Even When It’s An Accident

, , , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: my_bruises_shine | September 1, 2021

When I’m nineteen, I am hired on to open a new restaurant in our area. We go through the process of training in hotels while it’s being built, and I am going to start out as a hostess to get the feel of the inner workings at this particular place.

On our second night of cold opening, where you basically have to be invited — food is free, half charge on the bar, and tipping is required — it happens.

I have seated a table of a well-to-do man and a couple of his equally well-off buddies in their late forties or early fifties. It’s a lovely interaction; I expect nothing else through their visit. I get them squared away and walk back up to the host stand to snag my laminated copy of the table chart.

I walk back by this table after running through and checking on open and soon-to-be-open tables. This man slaps my a** as I walk by.

In a sheer, shocked reaction, I turn around and frisbee the chart into this clown’s neck. You know how sharp those new laminated edges are. I draw blood. The whole place just goes quiet.

Then, from every corner, nook, and cranny of that building, everyone — I mean everyone — starts uproariously laughing, even the proprietor. I’m still s***ting bricks, thinking I just slashed this guy’s jugular and now I’m going to jail.

I try to pull myself together as quickly as possible and leap to his table, just spewing apologies. (I’m nineteen, it’s 2000, and I don’t know better.) He and his bros are laughing so hard, the only noise is their wheezing. They have tears rolling down their faces.

The proprietor is now running to the table, still giggling like a toddler. Before he can even get out a response, the man starts talking, reaches into his back pocket, and pulls out his wallet. He apologizes profusely to me, saying he “didn’t know what came over him” and he wasn’t hurt by anything but “his actions”.

The guy puts five $20 bills in my hand and apologizes so many more times throughout the whole evening.

After he and his crew waddle on out, I am doing my thing with the chart again — more aware now — and random tables keep handing me money. “We haven’t laughed that hard in ages!” “You made our night!” And so on.

Forget the fact that he just basically assaulted me in front of all you. Thanks for the cash.

I profited off a booty slap, was not written up or fired, and took down a grown-a** man down with a laminated chart. I will never forget that night.

Staff Are One Bad Mood Away From Burns

, , , , , | Right | August 27, 2021

A lot of places have put up plastic barriers in front of pickup counters and cashiers for health reasons.

I’m in line waiting for my tea and muffin. A lady ahead of the line has just gotten her latte and has wandered off to sit at a table. Before someone can pick up their order, she comes back in a huff and yells at the employee that’s handing out the orders.

Customer: “This latte isn’t hot enough! Why can’t you people do anything right?!”

Before the employee could say anything, the lady proceeded to throw her latte at the employee, who was blocked by the barrier. The drink hit the barrier, and the latte splashed all over the place, landing on the floor, display, and customers.

The lady realized what she had done and just ran out of the place, leaving the mess and the now annoyed customers.

The employee apologized for what happened, but the others and I told them it wasn’t their fault. I got my tea and muffin after that, but it does make me think that they should keep the plastic barriers after this is all done.