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A Bad Time To Operate On Speculation

, , , , | Healthy | May 19, 2022

Like some women, I have issues with pelvic exams and require the smallest speculum available. My previous OBGYN was sympathetic to the issue and had noted this on my chart. Unfortunately, she left the practice and I’m randomly assigned a new doctor. She’s started the exam.

Doctor: “All right, speculum’s going in.”

I can immediately tell that it’s not the small one. I scoot back up the table.

Me: “That’s not the small speculum.”

Doctor: “It’s the smallest one I have.”

Me: “Please go get the smallest one in the office.”

Doctor: “This is what I have, and this is what you’re getting. Come back down here. I’m putting it back in and I’m going to open it. I’ll be fast.”

I scoot back down. She resumes the exam and quickly opens the speculum all the way, causing a VERY sharp pain in a sensitive area. I scream and get off the table.

Doctor: “Get back on the table!”

Me: “Not a chance!”

Doctor: “You’re a grown woman!”

Me: “Get the smallest speculum now!

We stare at each other for a couple of minutes. Finally, she huffs and pulls something out of a drawer.

Doctor: *In a snotty tone* “This is a pediatric speculum, dear. Smallest one in the office.”

Me: “You did have it! Why the h*** didn’t you use it when I asked?!

Doctor: “It takes longer.”

Me: “I’m not getting back on that table unless you use it.”

Doctor: “Fine.”

I get back on the exam table and she finishes with no other issues. After she’s done…

Me: “[Previous Doctor] said she put a note on my chart regarding speculum size. Is it not there anymore?”

Doctor: “No, it’s still there.”

Me: “Did you not see it?”

Doctor: “I thought a grown woman could handle a normal exam and speculum like everyone else.”

Me: “So, you disregarded a legit medical note due to your own opinion?”

She has the sense to look ashamed.

Doctor: “Uh… Well, now I know. See you next year!”

Me: “No, you won’t!”

I switched offices the next year. I told my new OBGYN the story, and she was absolutely horrified. She promised me that would not happen at her office, and so far, it hasn’t.

How Is This Man Not In Jail?

, , , , , , | Right | May 17, 2022


I once managed a photo studio that required a signature anytime portraits were picked up, forcing the customer to acknowledge that they would not try to copy the photos elsewhere.

Pretty basic terms of service, yes? Except, it seems, not for this one guy.

I was already dreading seeing him again, as when he and his partner brought their new-born in for the shoot, I’d had to end the session early and kick him out of my studio after he repeatedly called his partner the worst kind of names because she couldn’t get their seven-day-old to smile on cue, I’d had enough! 

Anyway. He stopped by to pick up his portraits, and I paused the session I was in to hand them to him, rather than have him wait in the crowded area with lots of moms and kids, since I knew he was irrational.

Customer: “Why do I have to sign? I’m refusing!”

He says something something Secret Service FBI 9/11 something something gave him the right to copy his photos.

I did my best to defuse the situation, but he was having none of it, and that’s how I found myself pinned against my studio wall, his hands reaching for my throat, as he threatened to gut me like a deer, put me on the hood of his car, and drive me around town to show everyone what happens when you cross him.

My studio was in a retail store, and one of the clerks finally asks:

Clerk: “Do you think I should call the cops?”

And this is as I am gasping and telling people to call the police! 

Said police arrived. By that time, the retail store manager (not my manager) was there and had contacted my district manager.

Together, they informed me I wasn’t allowed to press charges, and that the disruption was probably my fault. The police begged me to press charges anyway, as this was the fourth time in the last couple of days they’d been called to remove this one customer from various places in town.

My DM stood firm, though, and reminded me that A) I’d get fired if I didn’t make folks sign to pick up photos and B) why did I confront someone over not signing?

So, gentle readers, I quit. A competitor was planning to open a studio, and I gleefully went over there for a bit more money and a lot more autonomy.

The next Christmas season, the same man once again came in for photos, sans partner.

When it came time to review his portrait order, he started to get belligerent with me again, and threatening.

This time, I looked him in the face and said:

Me: “I’m not scared of you. I’ve already called the police on you once and I’ll do it again. If you want portraits from me, you’re going to sit down, shut up, and only open your mouth to politely indicate which ones you’d like to buy. Do you understand me?”

And so he did… and yes, he acknowledged copyright when he picked up that set of photos, too.

Thankfully, I’m long out of retail – this happened twenty years ago – but I’ll never forget my worst customer ever.

Misogynists Respect Few Things, But Size Matters

, , , , , | Right | May 16, 2022

I used to work as a stocker at a fairly large grocery store that had numerous smaller versions of said store. Funny enough, I was always looked to as a manager/supervisor by everyone, including those who have been there far longer than I have.

While I was in the backroom sorting merchandise in their sections, one of the senior coworkers comes storming into the back absolutely fuming. I should note that she has been working for the company for several years and is largely considered one of the nicest people ever, but so many people mistake her size and demeanor and push her around. I, on the other hand, am far larger and I use this to my advantage to help with all of the heavier freight.

Coworker: “Hey, you got a second? I need your size for something.”

Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

My coworker explains that a customer started calling her a b**** and demanded to know where a product was located. When she attempted to help the man, he got even more hostile and “demanded to take him to a man who would know where s*** really is.”

Because I highly respect her, my demeanor instantly changed from jolly to a giant on a warpath. I had her show me where the customer was at and to go ahead and tell him that she got someone. I stood at the end of the aisle where he couldn’t see and was trying to get into my “manager” frame of mind.

Coworker: “I got my manager and he’ll be here to assist you shortly.”

Customer: “WHERE THE H*** IS HE THEN?! It’s s*** like this is why you women are so f****** useless!”

At this point, I had enough and came around the corner like a bull out of a chute and beelined for the customer.

Me: *As dark and as intense as I could make my voice.* “WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

The customer turns around and sees a mountain in front of him and knew that mistakes were made. He stumbles over his words, but can’t get them out.

Me: “You have one of two options: You either apologize to her RIGHT NOW and I might let you keep shopping here, or I will literally chase you out. Make your choice.”

The customer absolutely freaked out and bolted for the door. There’s usually an officer present and I reported the customer to him and told him that if that customer ever came back that he was to be turned away immediately. The officer was on super good terms with the coworker and was visibly upset by what happened and so he said that he would chase him off if I pointed him out.

When Customers Attack

, , , , | Legal Right | CREDIT: inquisitrix- | May 15, 2022

A while ago, I was working the register and heard screaming at the other end of the store. I ran over to see what was happening. Two of our female Loss Prevention officers had stopped a shoplifter at the exit and she was screaming bloody murder at them. By this time, all the customers and employees had crowded to watch the show.

One LP officer reached out toward the shoplifter like she was going to try to grab the stolen merchandise back. Then, the shoplifter suddenly jumped up and tackled the LP officer to the ground. As the second LP officer stepped in to try to break up the fight on the ground, the two officers both started screaming in pain and the shoplifter ran out.

The rest of the employees and customers were freaking out, as the LP officers were screaming:

Officers: “I can’t see! I can’t see! Help! It burns!”

We thought we had witnessed an acid attack; it was awful.

Paramedics were called, and when the officers returned to work, we found out the shoplifter had sprayed mace in their faces.

She was only stealing $30 worth of clothes. That definitely goes down as one of the craziest days at work ever.

Don’t Toy With Karma

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Far_Attitude_2764 | May 10, 2022

I have a five-year-old girl who is best of friends with my neighbors’ daughter. The two are inseparable. My wife bought our daughter a toy a few weeks ago as a reward for doing all her chores and being awarded “Student Of The Week” in her kindergarten class. She immediately took it over to the neighbor’s house, and the two girls loved to play with it. It’s one of those toys that come with accessories, slime, stickers, etc.

Since then, this particular toy has been featured on a very popular morning talk show and is now pretty hard to find. My daughter’s friend’s birthday is the day after Thanksgiving, and my daughter asked me if we could buy her best friend the same toy as her gift. We couldn’t say no to her request for her best friend, so we started looking online to see if we could find one. After a few days of no luck, a very popular big box store had some in stock at a store about thirty minutes away. I hit the road to try and get my hands on one before they were all gone.

This is what happened when I got there, and I still can’t believe it happened.

I got to the store, grabbed a shopping cart because I was going to grab a couple of other things while I was there, and walked straight to the toy department. I looked around for a few minutes before I finally saw the toy I was after. There was only one left, so I grabbed it and put it in my cart. I was so glad I finally found one. I started to walk away to continue shopping when I heard a voice behind me.

Woman: “Um, excuse me, but that toy was mine. I put it down and was coming right back for it. Do you mind?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I have been looking for this toy as a gift for a very special little girl, and it was on the shelf, so I’m sorry, but no. I’m going to buy it.”

She instantly shot daggers at me with her eyes.

Woman: “Excuse me?! I was here first and I need it more than you. I have a customer that ordered it and I need it now, so please hand it over.”

That’s when it struck me: she was a reseller and had promised something she didn’t have.

Me: “Oh, well, that’s not my problem, but maybe they have more in the back. You should ask someone that works here.”

I went about my way to finish my shopping. As I was walking away, the woman snipped:

Woman: “You’re a real jerk, you know that?”

Me: *Sarcastically* “Maybe, but I got what I came for. Have an awesome day.”

And I walked away. I made my way to the laundry detergent aisle and quickly forgot about the woman. A few minutes later, as I grabbed some detergent and dryer sheets, I stopped to check what else was on my list, and the same woman entered the aisle.

Woman: “Ugh, there you are. Listen. I asked an employee, and they said there aren’t any in the back and they don’t know when more are coming in. I would appreciate it if you would do the right thing and just give the toy back to me before I find a manager and tell them you took it out of my hands.”

Me: “Huh? What are you talking about? This toy was on the shelf and nobody else was around when I picked it up, so please leave me alone. You can’t have it and that’s it.”

I tried to walk out of the aisle when this woman stepped in front of my cart, reached into my cart, and tried to take the toy. I quickly pulled the cart back.

Me: “What is your problem, lady? Get away from me.”

Then, she tried again, but this time I put my hand on the toy before she could grab it. She then dug her nails into my arm before I smacked her hand away with a loud:


This is when the woman went into overdrive. She instantly started screaming for help at the top of her lungs.


Naturally, a bunch of people quickly came over to see what was going on, and there I was, a 6’3” man with tattoos and a shaved head and beard standing there as she threw herself on the floor screaming for help. I thought to myself, “This is going to end badly for me.”

Two employees were a couple of aisles over and came running. Now there were a few people and the employees looking at this woman on the ground pleading for help and screaming for someone to call the police. The employee asked what happened while helping her up from the floor and she immediately lied.

Woman: “He attacked me and took items from my cart!”

Me: “This crazy lady is lying! She attacked me, and then she threw herself on the floor to get me in trouble.”

A manager showed up and asked what had happened while the woman was standing there with crocodile tears saying I had assaulted her over “her toy”. I quickly denied the false accusation and demanded the police be called. The manager had the police called and I waited right there. The lady had a crowd of people around her, consoling her, and they were all looking at me like I was some sort of woman beater. All the while, she was telling everyone around her what a monster I was and that she intended to press full charges against me for assault.

After ten or fifteen minutes, two police officers showed up and started to ask questions about what had happened. I explained what had happened from beginning to end, and she told her twisted fairy tale. The officers asked if the security cameras had a shot of the area. We were escorted to the manager’s office, and while one officer reviewed the footage with the manager, the other officer asked for our IDs and stepped out of the office — more than likely to do a warrant check, I assumed.

This is when glorious Karma showed up.

After a couple of minutes of the officer reviewing the camera footage and her continued lies about what happened, the officer asked the woman:

Officer #1: “Ma’am, I’m only going to ask this once. Would you like to change your story about what happened?”

I instantly smiled from ear to ear.

Woman: “What are you talking about? He attacked me and I want him arrested!”

Officer #1: “Ma’am, that’s not happening.” *To me* “Do you want to press charges for assault, sir?”

Me: “F*** YES!”

The woman went pale as a ghost. She went on a tirade. Just then, the second officer came back into the office, handed me back my ID, whispered something to the other officer, and then asked the woman to stand up and put her hands behind her back. They arrested her for an outstanding felony warrant along with an assault charge.

What an awesome outcome. The manager apologized to me for all the trouble as the woman was led out of the office in cuffs. The officer photographed the scratches on my arm for evidence, gave me a copy of the report for court, and wished me a nice rest of my day. The manager even gave me a $50 gift card that I used to pay for my purchase, and I went about my merry way.

All this over a toy and self-entitlement.