In 2019, I started working for a big accounting firm right after college. I already had a bit of experience because of a few internships, and I’ve always worked part-time since I was sixteen, but I was mainly hired because I spoke four languages and they had business with a lot of foreign clients.

I was hired as a consultant, but I did a lot of things. I really enjoyed organizing big files, and I had a lot of experience with Excel, since I had paid for a professional course during college, so besides my usual work of handling some clients and doing my reports, I was also doing a lot of things like sales reports, client reports, basically most of the Excel files, and a lot of computer-based tasks.

When COVID hit, and we started to work from home, I was able to automate most of my tasks for two or three months. I was able to program a code that would basically do the sales reports (the most important file) and a few more automatically, and I could update it if needed.

My boss was over the moon with the update part, but I did not tell him that it was being done automatically; I did not tell anyone, as a matter of fact. This gave me a lot of extra time to talk to clients and pick up a few extra new ones, which gave me a considerable pay rise, since I was highly appraised during the meetings with my direct boss and a few higher-ups.

Whenever I did take time off, I had to delegate all of my tasks and clients’ meetings to anyone I trusted, which was mostly Jimmy (fake name). Jimmy was a good personal friend of mine and was married to my cousin, so we would occasionally take time off at the same time for a vacation or family gathering.

I was saving my vacation days for summer and winter, and in the only days I took during 2020, I left my tasks running automatically. I told Jimmy that he didn’t need to do them, and he really didn’t ask questions since it was less work for him.

Jimmy and I also took a few days off at the same time to go to a wedding in another country. I was told by my boss that he would let it happen, but to not make it a habit to take our vacation at the same time, and that I would have to work a bit harder to thank him for his good deed. He also pointed out that my sales weren’t getting any bigger in the last few months. I reminded him that I had the highest number of sales in all the department and I was the only one with the extra tasks, but he just told me that it wasn’t a big deal, and that anyone could have done that.

So, when I went on vacation, I turned off all of my automated tasks.

This was a big deal, since it was the end of the month and my boss would need all my reports completely updated. Apparently, they had to put five people to do my tasks so that they could finish the reports, which delayed the work of that team, and the reports were late and lacked a few things that mine had.

All the higher-ups weren’t happy with my boss, since he showed them the reports late, and they were clearly a downgrade from mine, and they also commented that there was a team failing a lot of deadlines that month (which was the team assigned to do my tasks).

As soon as I got back to work, I got a call from my boss apologizing for not appreciating my work with the tasks, and asking me not to take time off at the end of the month ever again. I told him that it was an unreasonable request, and I reminded him that he already approved of my week off in two months. He straight-up told me that it wasn’t approved.

I am not an angry person, but I got really upset about that. He told me that as long as it wasn’t at the end of the month, I could take time off whenever I wanted. Okay, fine.

As soon as I got out of the call, I started looking for other jobs, and I scheduled all of my time off (about three weeks) in the next month (the busiest month for us). Most of the big clients didn’t speak English, and they only wanted to talk to me, but nevertheless, my boss approved.

Subsequently, Jimmy also scheduled time off at the same time, so despite not being the end of the month, someone had to do my tasks since I would, once again, turn them off.

Apparently, they weren’t able to handle either my clients or my tasks, so they just ignored the tasks until I got back. This caused some of the clients to get really angry, since no one could really assist them as well as I could (I actually got a call on my personal phone from one of them, asking me to assist him in my personal time).

This was a huge client. He was actually a great person who had huge respect for me, so I said it was fine as long as he came to my location (I was on vacation with my family).

Long story short, he came with a yacht and invited all of my family to go there and to the villa he rented. I spent a whole day helping him. Best of all, he was more than happy to offer me a job once he knew I was looking for other jobs, since apparently I had sent my CV to one of his buddies’ companies.

It was a great offer with lots of benefits, and the offer would also extend to Jimmy, who was actually going to work for me, with a great salary. In my country, you don’t have to give two weeks’ notice to your boss, so I just quit when I returned and told him that I wouldn’t do any of the sales reports. He was p***ed, but there was nothing he could do.

I am still in the same company, but with a higher position now. I don’t really have a schedule; I just have to travel a lot, which is fine by me.

Last I checked with a few friends that still work in my old company, they had to hire a whole team to handle my tasks, and a few of the clients quit because they weren’t satisfied with how they were being handled. Value your employees more!

I had a friend (note, had) who bought a gaming console (N64, I think) from one of the old mail-order catalogues. He did so through my mum as she pretty much did all of them back then (yes, I know it’s a s***ty scheme, but I knew no better as I was just leaving school, and he’d left a year or two prior.

He initially was paying, but after a few months, the payments stopped.

Mum: “[My Name], please remind [Friend] that he’s a few days late for the N64 payment.”

When I met him and reminded him later that day:

Friend: “Oh, yeah. I sold it.”

Me: “Okay, but what does that have to do with the payments?”

Friend: “I don’t own it now, why would I still pay for it?”

Me: “Uh… because you still owe the rest of the balance on it?”

Friend: *Speaking like he’s imparting wisdom.* “You can’t owe money on something you don’t own.”

Me: “Uh… yes, you can! The debt doesn’t just vanish! My mum is still paying the mail order company on your behalf.”

Friend: “Why? I don’t own it anymore!”

Me: “Because it’s not like the company goes, ‘Oh well, as you don’t have it now, you don’t owe anything!’ You need to pay my mum.”

Friend: “Just tell her to stop paying them, then. Whatever happens is between her and the company.”

I tried explaining this to him, lock, stock, and barrel, but he refused to understand. I think he actually did understand, but admitting that would mean he would need to start repayments. 

The next day, I went over to his house while he wasn’t home. His dad let me borrow my friend’s car for a couple of hours. I drove it everywhere, running some errands, until it was almost out of petrol, and then left it parked in the centre of town.

Later that night:

Friend: “Where’s my car?!”

Me: “I borrowed it for a couple of hours.”

Friend: “So then where is it?! My dad said you borrowed it this morning!”

Me: “I parked it in town. Don’t worry, I only borrowed it for a couple of hours, so I was true to my word.”

Friend: “So then bring it back!”

Me: “Why would I do that? It’s not my car.”

Friend: “Because you borrowed it! You used it!”

Me: “Just like you used my mum to get that N64?”

Friend: “Are we back on this again?!”

Me: “Tell you what. Pay my mum the rest of what she’s owed, and I’ll tell you where your car is.”

Friend: *Click.*

I know my friend, and I know how he thinks. He is now arguing with his dad, blaming him for letting me borrow the car, and trying to get him to fix it. His dad, whom I know to be a fair man, is likely laughing at him right now and telling him that he needs to dig himself out of his own mess.

Ten minutes later, he’s calling back:

Friend: “How much is left on the N64?”

Me: “£300.”

Friend: “What?! That’s too much!”

Me: “Those mail-order items have high interest on the payments, remember?”

Friend: “F***! I’m not paying that much!”

Me: “How much did you sell it for?”

Friend: “None of your business!”

Me: “Okay, well, goodnight.”

I hang up this time. 

Ten minutes later, he calls back and agrees to pay my mum the rest of what is owed. I even make him do a bank transfer and have my mum confirm it. I then tell him where his car is parked.

Me: “Oh, you might need to bring some petrol with you. I left it on fumes.”

Friend: “What! You need to pay to top it up!”

Me: “Why? It’s not my car.”

I hung up on him, and that was the last time we ever spoke.

We had a couple of teenagers who pulled a dine and dash one night. The server talks to the manager, and the manager goes outside to look, but can’t see them. The manager comes back in, and a nearby table flags him down.

Guest: “Did they not pay?”

Manager: “No.”

Guest: “I know his mother. Let me call her.”

The guest calls the mom and tells her what happened.

Guest: “You’d better get your kid to come back and pay before they call the cops.”

The kid comes back and pays, face redder than the lobster he ate. The guest who saved the day got a free drink and dessert.

My brother is an a**hole driver. The kind of person who will pull right up to the bumper of someone at a stoplight and start pounding their horn, even when there is no way for those in front of them to go. The kind of person who will swerve around to get ahead of a car, and then brake check them to ‘teach them a lesson’ for getting in his way. The kind of person who will swerve across lanes of traffic, cutting cars off, to swerve into the exit ramp. Just terrible, whenever he is behind the wheel of a car.

And no matter how much we call him out, he refuses to admit that he is wrong. 

Well, about a month ago, he pulled up to our house for a visit, but the front of his car was beat to hell. Dents on the hood, cracks in the windshield and driver’s side window, and the driver’s mirror was missing entirely.

Me: “What happened?”

Brother: “This guy just jumped out and attacked me!”

Me: “What?! Someone jumped out into the road? Did you just have a hit-and-run?”

Brother: “No, he jumped out of his car and attacked me. I barely got out of there.”

Me: *Now somewhat suspicious, given his history.* “Were you behind his car at a traffic light?”

Brother: “Yeah, just minding my own business, and he just jumped out—”

Me: “—After you started honking your horn at him?”

Brother: *Silent.*

He kept circling back to the story during the visit, and clammed up when asked what had happened right before the ‘attack’, but, from what I know of him, I’m pretty sure the sequence went something like ‘he pulled up behind them, started laying on his horn, and the other driver then hopped out to get him to shut up’.

Still, not great road rage, but I honestly can’t say my brother isn’t a deserving recipient of it.

I had a colleague who finished at 4 PM. The office manager was always pissed off because she was always leaving “early”. No, she got there before her 8 AM start; he just didn’t see her working until he casually strolled in some time after 9.

One day, when the big boss (whom she worked directly for) was away, with the office manager in charge:

Office Manager: *To the colleague.* “You can’t leave before 5 PM.”

Colleague: “Okay, let me go and talk to our CFO and see about overtime rates. I work from 8 AM until 4 PM. I manage my time well and get all my work done.”

Office Manager: “What?! We’re all salaried! There are no overtime rates!”

With perfect timing, the big boss called from overseas. I gleefully transfer the call to my colleague. The best thing about a fairly open plan office is that you can hear everything from the reception desk (to be fair, also one of the worst things, too).

Colleague: *To the big boss over the phone.* “Hello, [Big Boss]. [Office Manager] is insisting that I stay until 5 PM, with no overtime pay or reason mentioned. Have you got a particular task requiring me to stay?”

Pause.

Colleague: *To the office manager.* “He wants to talk to you.”

The office manager had a very long chat with the big boss (mostly one-sided), which ended with the office manager leaving early in a sulk. He later tried to chastise me for transferring the call from the big boss when I did, and I replied:

Me: “Look, you do NOT f*** around with a good admin assistant, especially a good admin assistant that works directly to the big boss! How is it I know that and you don’t?!”

My colleague was not f***ed with again.