Unfiltered Story #195814

, | Unfiltered | June 2, 2020

(I work security on a music festival once a year, usually in the ‘wavebreaker’, the steel barrier that keeps the crowd from pushing forward too much. As most guests already know, it’s forbidden to sit on each others shoulders within a few meters of the barrier, since people could smash their faces on it, if the bottom person falls over. If they do, we command them down, generally by gestures and short, loud commands, as it’s too loud and too busy to make a long story of it. A tall guy takes a girl on his shoulders, so she can see better.

Me: *shouts and points downwards* DOWN!

Guest: *stares at me blankly*

Me: DOWN! DOWN!

Guest: *confused* Who?

Me: You! Her! Down!

(I look in his eyes, and can actually see him realizing what I am talking about, as if he had instantly forgotten about the girl he just picked up a mere few seconds ago)

Guest: OH!! Right! *puts her back down*

Literal Highway Robbery

, , , , , | Working | April 28, 2020

(I’ve woken up and realized I can’t find my wallet. As I don’t have my wallet and thus don’t have any cash for the bus, I end up walking over six miles down the road to get to the bar I visited last night to see if I left it there. I see that there is some sort of street festival on the road and walk past an entryway to get to the bar, which is now only about twenty feet away. Suddenly, a cop barrels up to me, shouting.)

Cop: “It’s a $10 entry fee to access this street! You can’t come in without paying!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize there was a festival today. I’m literally just here to get to the bar that’s right there. I think I left my wallet there last night.”

Cop: “It’s $10 to access this street!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but like I said, I think I left my wallet at the bar. I’m just trying to get in to see if they have it and then I’m leaving.”

Cop: “Nobody can get on this street without paying $10!”

Me: *pause* “What if they work on this street?”

Cop: “Then they have to pay $10!”

Me: “I don’t see how that’s right at all. But I literally don’t have any money and I just walked over six miles to get here. Is there any way I can just go to the bar and see if they have my wallet? I can give you the $10 if they have it, and I’m not even going to stay for the festival.”

Cop: “Not without paying $10! Why don’t you just go to an ATM and get $10?”

Me: “First, I don’t have my wallet, so I can’t use an ATM. Also, my bank is on this street, so I can’t even go to the bank to get it. You’ve kind of put me into a corner here.”

Cop: “Well, you’re not getting in until you pay the $10 entry fee to access this street!”

(I then had to spend a half-hour begging random people for money for the privilege of accessing a street before I finally had enough to get in. And, of course, the bar didn’t have my wallet, so I ended up having to beg for money and walk well over ten miles for no reason. I have no clue how it’s right in the slightest to bar anyone from using a public street without paying, especially if they work on the street or have business unrelated to the festival. But maybe that’s just me.)

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Three Free Days

, , , , | Right | April 24, 2020

Before I tell this story, I will admit that I knowingly took advantage of an employee’s mistake, in the form of a loophole I found completely by accident.

I pre-ordered tickets for a four-day-long outdoor festival, and naturally, I printed the receipt at home, with barcodes for all four days of the festival. These tickets were non-refundable if any day of the festival was cancelled due to poor weather. The pre-order tickets cost exactly the same as if you bought tickets at the gate on all four days of the festival, with the only difference being that the single-day tickets purchased at the gates could be refunded if that day of the festival was cancelled.

The first day of the festival ended up being cancelled about thirty minutes after the festivities started. Despite knowing that the pre-order tickets were non-refundable, I decided to ask a cashier for a refund since I had paid exactly the same price for my day-one ticket as everyone who had purchased their ticket at the gate that day. The cashier ended up agreeing with me and agreed to refund the cost of my day-one ticket.

When I looked at my bank account that night to see if the refund had actually gone through, I realized that I had been refunded the entire cost of my tickets for all four days of the festival. I tried calling the festival organizers the next morning to point out their mistake, but nobody answered the phone.

Day two, the weather was perfect. I went to the festival and decided to bring my pre-printed tickets along just to see what would happen if I tried to show them at the gate. To my surprise, the barcode still worked! The barcodes for days three and four also worked!

In the end, I got to go to all three remaining days of the festival for free by showing the pre-printed tickets that had been refunded but not invalidated. I do feel slightly guilty about it, but not enough to do anything more than write this story.

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Sounds Like A Hot Mess

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 8, 2020

My wife and I are at the annual Fiery Foods Show, trying all sorts of hot sauce and salsas. We stop by a booth partially because my wife likes the salsa containers.

We take our samples and taste them and frankly, they’re not very good. The lady apparently thought bell peppers were the same as jalapeños or habaneros, and it is mostly fruit.

She asks us, “How do you like it?”

Not wanting to be rude, I say, “It’s interesting what people use in their salsas.”

Suddenly, she’s almost screaming at us, “THIS IS THE BEST STUFF HERE! EVERYTHING ELSE HERE IS JUST HOT!”

We walk away as she’s still almost screaming so we don’t hear the rest of what she said. My wife turns to me and says, “Doesn’t she understand that this is the Fiery Foods Show?”

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Kinky Medical Equipment?

, , , , | Working | April 8, 2020

(Dutch has a couple of vowel sounds which may sound similar to a foreigner, but to us are distinctly different, like [ship] and [sheep], for example. I’m volunteering for a dance festival which draws an international crowd, and I get talking — in English — with a Polish volunteer. She tells me she knows some Dutch words like [good morning], [bread], [cheese], and [goodbye]. Oh, and also [word #1].)

Me: “Why did you learn that word?”

Volunteer: “Well, I used to work for [Electronics], which is a Dutch company.”

Me: “You must have had interesting coworkers.”

Volunteer: “No, it’s because of all the medical equipment.”

Me: “Um… I’m not sure I understand?”

Volunteer: “Well, I worked in the finance department.”

Me: *blank look*

Volunteer: “A lot of that stuff is big and expensive, like CAT-Scans”

Me: “I really don’t see the connection.”

Volunteer: “Well, we would rent them out and I would see the bills which were sometimes in Dutch.”

Me: *very long pause* “Oh, hang on! Did you mean [word #2]?! Which means ‘rent’?”

Volunteer: “Yes! [Word#1]!”

(I’m starting to crack up.)

Volunteer: “Wait, what did you think I said?”

Me: “[Word #2] means ‘rent’. You pronounced it like [word #1] which means–” *cough* “–’person who provides adult services’!”

(She turned a bit red but could laugh about it. The next day I was with some friends of hers and we ended up giving each other short lessons in language to prevent further confusion.)

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