Polite Metal

, , , , | Friendly | January 18, 2018

(This takes place at an outdoor heavy metal festival. One of the bands playing is from the partner town of the place where the festival is hosted.)

Singer: *in heavily accented English* “We are [Band], and we come from Poland. We do not speak German, and our English is not good, so our texts are in Polish. I hope you don’t mind that and enjoy our music.”

(The band started to play, and the singer launched into an absolutely unintelligible death metal growl that we wouldn’t have been able to understand in ANY language. My friend and I doubled over laughing.)

Keep On Dog-Walking Past This Booth

, , , , , | Friendly | January 12, 2018

(My family is considered quite big — seven including the dog — and two of my siblings are toddlers. My town holds a dog-walking festival every year. There are booths along the route. These booths usually have items to purchase like dog treats or toys. As we walk along, we notice a neighbor volunteering at an adoption booth “stocked” with pets from a local animal shelter. My parents start chatting with her as my sister — not a toddler — and I start petting one of the cats laying on a table outside of its crate.)

Dad: *notices* “I love cats!” *pets cat*

(The cat purrs and rubs itself on his arm. It seems to have taken a liking to my dad.)

Dad: “She’s up for adoption, right? Could we see if her and the dog get along?”

Neighbor: “Yeah, but I’m not letting you guys adopt any pets. You already have a big enough family!” *laughs*

(Nobody else laughs with her.)

Mom: “Isn’t that for us to decide?”

Neighbor: *still laughing* “I’m doing this for you, [Mom]! You already have enough work with all of these kids and animals!”

(We just walked off and avoided her from then on. She also became known as the nosy neighbor, because she pulled a stunt similar to this where she denied our other neighbors who were a young couple to adopt an older dog since it would “die sooner” and they should get a puppy. Why does the size of someone’s family affect their ability to be able to give an animal a home? Also, isn’t her goal as a volunteer to get more animals homes, not nitpick the little details and get involved in other people’s business?)

Will Make You Want To Hit The Bottle

, , , | Working | January 2, 2018

(I am with a couple of friends at a music festival for the weekend. We are in line to enter the arena, with security checking for alcohol. I have just bought a bottle of water that I haven’t opened yet. The guard motions for me to hand it to him.)

Me: “I just bought that so—”

(He untwists the top, breaks the seal, and throws out the entire contents, before crushing the bottle and trying to hand it back to me. I just stand there and stare at him. I can feel him poking me with it, hoping that I take it. He then gets the hint and the realisation is clear on his face.)

Guard: “That was a new bottle, wasn’t it?”

Me: “Yeah, I literally got it at the stall behind us not two minutes ago.”

(He bought a new bottle for me and apologised, which is more than can be said for some of the security there. I understand what you’re trying to do, but you have to at least pay enough attention to be aware of what you’re doing. You’re meant to be keeping us safe, not making us resent you at the same time.)

Doesn’t Understand How Menus Work

, , , | Right | December 15, 2017

(This is a church festival, and food is made fresh on site and kept warm over burners. We have just opened the food tent when an old lady walks up.)

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes. All of us in this shirt are volunteers.”

Customer: “Okay, I will take a grilled cheese, some baked beans, and a coffee.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we do not have those items. All of our food items are on that large board over there.”

Customer: “You don’t have those? What kind of place that has food doesn’t have coffee?”

Me: “Sorry for the inconvenience; can I interest you in something off the menu?”

Customer: “Unless you put grilled cheese, baked beans, and coffee on it, I don’t want anything.”

Those Who Live In Glass Tents…

, , , , , | Right | December 11, 2017

(Every summer I work a series of festivals that my mother’s friend organizes. I am only fifteen, but because of my people skills I am tasked with a lot of face time with our clients, and I supervise a team of about 15 employees. One day we are having a horrible storm, including violent winds, and I’m going around helping people secure their tents.)

Me: “Excuse me, can I help you secure any of your merchandise?”

Vendor: “I’d prefer it if you didn’t touch any of my art.”

(I note that she seems to be selling blown glass in a minimally-secured tent.)

Me: “Are you sure, ma’am? These winds are quite strong.”

Vendor: “I’ll be fine; I’m sure.”

(The next day I’m checking out the vendors. I reach the same woman and I notice her tent is gone and she is selling a much smaller quantity of pieces off a table.)

Me: “Hello, how are you this morning?”

Vendor: “Horrible! All of my merchandise was destroyed yesterday when my tent blew over, and not a single one of you or your coworkers offered to help me!”

(I am not surprised that this happened, but I am surprised to hear none of my staff helped her, even though it is not their job.)

Me: “Well, I’m shocked none of my staff assisted you, and I apologize.”

(I heard later that not only had three of my staff attempted to assist her, my supervisor and one of the festival sponsors tried to help. She shrieked at every single one of them for “touching her art,” and she even emailed my mother’s friend to complain. We all just laughed at her apparent stupidity.)

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