(I do some acting lessons and groups at a company as a teen. The backstage area is pretty dirty and has a lot of spider webs as a result.)

Me: “There are two spiders right there and they are kind of big!”

Friend #1: “Ahh, really?”

Me: “What should we do? I don’t want to go near them, because I have a little arachnophobia.”

Friend #1 & Friend #2: “Me, too!”

Friend #2: “But tarantulas are pretty cute.”

Friend #1: “Yeah, they are, so furry!”

Friend #2: “Aww, and their adorable eyes!”

(They continued to talk about their love of tarantulas as I stared up at the spiders, wondering how they could say they were afraid of spiders when they found tarantulas to be cute.)

(I am sharing an apartment with a now ex-friend. We get along well until one day, without warning, she ends up taking around $200 worth of my stuff and selling it off so she can have some pocket money. I am, naturally, really upset with this. The police get called, and we recover about two-thirds of the stuff, and she ends up being required to pay the difference. Among the stuff we manage to recover are a few older books that were a gift from my late grandfather, which were the things that I was most afraid to lose. After this, I cut ties with that friend very thoroughly. However, we have mutual friends that still are in contact with each other. I never tried to force them to cut ties with her or anything, but I likewise never shied away from being up-front about what she had done.)

Mutual Friend: *via text* “Hey, [My Name]. Do you have a copy of [Book]?”

Me: “Yeah. I have the whole series.”

Mutual Friend: “It’s a series?”

Me: “Yep. It’s really good.”

Mutual Friend: “Cool. Hey, can [Ex-Friend] borrow it? We were talking, and she mentioned how much she enjoyed it when she was living with you.”

Me: *kind of shocked at what I’m reading* “Are you kidding me?”

Mutual Friend: “What?”

Me: “She stole from me! This was one of the things she tried to steal! Why would I ever lend it or anything to her?”

Mutual Friend: “Oh. Well, that was a while ago, though.”

Me: “No no no no no no no. I am not lending her anything.”

Mutual Friend: *after about twenty minutes of silence* “Could you lend me the book?”

Me: “Are you planning to turn around and hand it to her?”

(Total silence after that, and that particular mutual friend is now looking like another ex-friend, as she has stopped speaking with me. Sooo sorry for being defensive after being burned by a thief in the past.)

(I don’t work. In this day and age, it’s a controversial choice. I’ve yet to find a non-awkward way to answer. Here are a few attempts:)

Them: “So, what do you do?”

Me: “Mostly cooking and cleaning.”

Them: “No, for a job.”

Me: “I don’t have one.”

Them: *awkward silence*

(Another time:)

Them: “So, what type of job do you have?”

Me: “None.”

Them: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m disabled.”

Them: *starts giving medical advice or alternatives to traditional work*

Me: *grins and bears it*

(Another time, with my partner:)

Them: “[Partner], you work so hard! [My Name], what do you do?”

Me: “Make sure she has a nice meal to come home to.”

Them: “You don’t work?! That’s very selfish of you!” *starts ranting*

Partner: *interrupts* “The last time she overdid it, she wound up in bed with a three-day fever. She doesn’t work. That’s fine. I make enough for both of us.”

(Unfortunately, this leads to us never talking to them again, because my partner hates them and they treat me like a leech. I really don’t know how to handle the job question.)

(I’m on the late bus after a long day at work. There are several other people scattered around, all of them looking just as exhausted and ready to get home as I feel. About halfway home, a guy gets onto the bus who seems pretty tweaked out. He is twitching and mumbling to himself. He goes and sits down, and after a minute, reaches over to poke the lady sitting in the row ahead of him.)

Man: “Hey. Hey.”

Woman: *looking tired and a bit uncomfortable* “What?”

Man: “Where you heading?”

Woman: “I’m going home.”

Man: “I’m going to a party.”

(The woman nods and then turns away a bit.)

Man: “Hey. Hey. You want to come? It’s a party, a fun party. It’ll be a fun party.”

Woman: “No, thanks. I’m headed home. My daughter’s waiting for me.”

Man: “Hey. Hey. I was just asking, you know, if you wanted to come to the party. It’ll be a fun party.”

(The woman didn’t respond, but she did start gathering her things. The man tried to ask her to come to the party a couple more times, and then, after a couple of stops, she stood up and headed to get off the bus. The man watched her blankly before he started struggling to his feet. I got up, too, and planted myself in the aisle, preventing him from getting past and just staring down at him. He looked between me and the woman before finally sitting back down and mumbling to himself. I stayed standing for a bit until the doors shut and the bus started moving again. Maybe he really did have to get off at that stop, but I really, really doubt it.)

(I’m afraid of confrontation, but I also have a tendency to speak before thinking. One day, I am walking to a mall with my husband. We have to cross a road for cars and a bike lane. A zebra crossing crosses both roads and both biking lanes, so pedestrians should have the right of way. Unfortunately, many forget about that rule, willingly or accidentally. In front of me, a group of three women crosses the zebra. Two kids on a bike, a boy of about 13 years old and a girl of about 11 years old, do not give way, but there is no accident as there is enough space. However, one of the women suddenly stretches her arm and tries to grab the girl off of her bike! The girl wobbles but manages to stop safely. The boy — her big brother, we assume — stops, as well. But before anyone else can react, I yell:)

Me: “Hey! Don’t you dare!”

Woman: “I had the right of way!”

Me: “I don’t care! You almost made her fall!”

Woman: “Mind your own business!”

Me: “I won’t mind my own business when I see someone pulling a child off her bike!”

Woman: “I had the right of way!”

Me: “That did not give you the right to cause an accident.”

Woman: “Just shut up, you!”

Me: “Not for someone who almost hurt a child! Right of way or not, you were in the wrong here!”

(The women walk on, while the aggressor keeps mumbling that people should mind their own business. The children also go on, though they look shocked. I can’t ask them if they are all right; they are already gone.)

Husband: “Wow, you were fast!”

Me: “I didn’t know what came over me. I just imagined that child falling in front of me…”

Husband: “I don’t know if I would have had the guts to say anything.”

Me: “Could… could we sit down for a moment? I’m so scared all of a sudden… My legs are weak.”

Husband: “No, not yet. You can’t show weakness to that b****. Just wait until she can’t see you anymore.”

(My husband then treated me to ice cream so I could sit down and calm down. We didn’t see any of those women in the mall again, and two years have passed by now. It’s okay to be upset if you do not get right of way, but that never justifies causing — almost — injury to anyone!)