In The Mood To Be Nude

, , , , , | Working | September 19, 2017

At our store, we have mannequins on very high shelves. Often, customers want clothes from the mannequins. That’s totally fine, but we have to drag out the ladder and climb up to the shelves, and dress the mannequins afterward. It’s a long and convoluted process, so it’s not done lightly.

Also worth noting is that the male mannequins are extremely ripped, for plastic headless dudes.

One very busy Saturday, I see one of the mannequins wearing a button-down shirt and shorts. I look up later and see that the button-down shirt has been undone and opened to show off its muscular plastic chest. As I go to break a few hours later, I see the mannequin has been stripped shirtless. This is weird, but it is summer and we do sell bathing suits and the like.

When I come back from break, the mannequin is completely naked.

To this day, I have no idea if a customer ninja-climbed up three times in a row to prank us, one of the newbies genuinely forgot they had to dress the mannequins again, or if our mannequins are alive and this one was a huge pervert.

Driving Away The Anxiety

, , , , | Hopeless | September 16, 2017

I witnessed the death of a close family member in a car accident when I was younger. Because of this, I feel pretty insecure when driving and have an overall anxiety when being in a car. This also led to me failing my practical driving test several times, which only made my anxiety stronger.

One week before my last driving test, another close family member died in a car accident. This hit me hard, and I could barely cope with my emotions. My anxiety was so strong I could not even stand near a car without freaking out internally, let alone sit in a car or drive myself. I called my driving instructor and told him what had happened. He was really kind, and managed to reschedule my driving test for two weeks.

On the day of my driving test, I still was not able to cope with the death of my family member, and my anxiety was still pretty strong. I met with my driving instructor before the driving test, and he told me that he had spoken to the examiner. He told him about the death of my family member and my anxiety. He also agreed with him that they wanted to be silent throughout my driving test so that I could better cope with my insecurity and better concentrate. I did not recognize it while driving, but this helped a lot.

My anxiety hit me pretty strong during the driving test, and I had a feeling of internal panic most of the time. I could not look somewhere else, only on the streets and mirrors as I was supposed to do. When I panicked a lot internally, I managed to look to my driving instructor, only to see him smiling at me. I still was really insecure, but it helped me so much and I was able to drive at least a bit more relaxed. I think his smile made more of a difference than he realized.

I passed the driving test that day, but only with the help of my driving instructor who gave me a feeling of security in my situation of anxiety. I gave him a hug after the driving test, but could not find any words to thank him. We drove back to the driving school to sort out the last paperwork. He hugged me one last time and I left. I wish I had been able to thank him in a better way. He helped me a lot and he deserved some words of gratitude. I hope I can see him again in the future. I am glad that I got to know him.

On This Bus You’re Living On A Prayer

, , , , | Working | September 16, 2017

I was waiting for my regular bus on a rainy day. On that day, the company sent out an extra bus in addition to the regular bus, and the extra arrived first. I was hesitant to get on it, because sometimes the extras don’t do the full route, and my stop was pretty far.

The driver really didn’t want to leave anyone standing there, though, and urged us all to get on. Every time we stopped, he did this spiel: “The regular bus is right behind me, but it might be full, so you should get on now, because I have plenty of room!”

Then, as he reached the halfway point of the route, at a stop filled with people, he refused to open the front door to let people in and suddenly announced, “Okay, I’m turning around! Everyone out!”

He never once indicated that he wasn’t doing the full route, he really pushed people to get on, even if they were reluctant, and then he just dumped us without any warning. The regular bus was not right behind him, and I had to walk another half mile in the rain and spend the rest of the day with jeans wet to the knee. I know I wasn’t the only one. Goodness knows why he harangued us all to board if he was just going to dump us halfway.

Onions Find New Ways To Make You Cry

, , , , | Related | September 15, 2017

I was a very loud, hyperactive, and rather undersized child of no more than four when this happened. My family had just finished a meal at [Restaurant], and being the walking cartoon character I was, I wandered off, only to spy the remnants of someone else’s meal at an unoccupied table.

There was something that, to my eyes, looked very appetizing, and I didn’t give a rat’s a** that it was half-eaten already, so I reached up and grabbed a fistful of what I innocently presumed was a dessert and crammed it in my mouth. It was not a dessert.

It was an onion blossom slathered in hot sauce.

I eventually made my way back to my family, and refused to eat onions in pretty much any form again until I was well into my teens. My mother could not for the life of her figure out why.

System Of A Down-Time

, , , , , | Learning | September 15, 2017

I am a teacher at an international school, where the focus is to have students successfully integrate into the Canadian education system and go to a Canadian University. This group of students were the smartest and most well-behaved group I had ever taught. That being said, since they were away from home and on their own for the first time, there was sometimes the problem of them staying up super late, and falling asleep in class as a result. At first, I would gently knock on their desk and they would sit up, but there were a few recurring sleepers. I got an idea of how to deal with them and make it so they wouldn’t fall asleep again.

It was a work period, and I noticed one student asleep at his desk. I grabbed my iPod and my portable speakers and walked over to him. I selected the song “Chop Suey” by System of a Down and waited until it got to a crucial line before blasting at full volume:

“WAKE UP! GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKEUP!”

Cue the student leaping out of their desk and the rest of the students laughing. In hindsight, yes, it might have been a bit mean. However, every class I’ve done that for not only LOVES it, but even the students I use it against find it hilarious and don’t do it again.

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