I am a med student, and my husband and I are expecting our first child. I intended to take a year of parental leave from my studies after the birth. I applied for “parental leave with guarantee”, meaning that I had a guaranteed spot on the program when I return, even if all classes are full. I emailed them to get the paperwork done when we were out of the first trimester and was told:
Bureaucrat: “Oh, how wonderful for you! Unfortunately, the rules say that you need a birth certificate for the baby before we can grant you parental leave with a guarantee. Contact us when the baby is born, and we’ll sort the paperwork out then.”
Fast forward twenty-six weeks. I emailed once again and was told that my application was too late by the same bureaucrat. I called and asked for clarification:
Bureaucrat: “First, congratulations! Unfortunately, the deadline to apply for leave with a guarantee had passed. We can, of course, grant you leave, but not with a guarantee.”
Me: “Why?”
Bureaucrat: “Because the signed form and the birth certificate need to be on my desk before [date two days before the birth].”
Me: “But… how? If my baby were born two days after [date], then how am I supposed to do this?”
Bureaucrat: “Everyone has to follow the same rules. A university is a government agency and needs to follow the law. It is very important to us that this is fair.”
Me: *Sigh.* “So, what do I do?”
Bureaucrat: “Either you apply for leave without a guarantee, or you apply now and get your application evaluated at [date six months away].”
Me: “…so either breastfeed during lectures and seminars and juggle full-time studies and a baby or replace my dreams with motherhood?”
Bureaucrat: “We do encourage parents to study, but you also have a responsibility here! Hand in the paperwork on time!”
Me: “That was literally impossible! You can’t have a birth certificate before birth, and I couldn’t apply without one!”
Bureaucrat: “I’m sorry that you feel entitled to special treatment, but the rules are the same for everyone! You need to realize that rules also apply to you!”
She then hung up on me. I had a big cry, and my husband comforted me. We came up with a plan to fix our problem. The next day, I went to the university, baby in one hand and forms in the other, my husband following along for moral support. I went straight to the boss of the bureaucrat and knocked on her door. We were let in, and I said:
Me: “So, this one—” *Holds up my sleepy little baby in an adorable bear costume.* “—had the bad sense to not be born before the final date for leave application. Unfortunately, I couldn’t apply beforehand, and the date has passed. I so sincerely hope you can help me become both a mother and a doctor. Maybe we can work something out?”
Boss: *Long pause.* “I don’t understand the problem. Nothing here makes sense.” *Realizing our confusion.* “Oh, sorry, not you. Your request is simple and reasonable! We will fix it before you leave.”
Me: “What doesn’t make sense?”
Boss: “Well… You can apply with just proof of pregnancy, and we’ll approve your application. Also, pregnancy and birth are, of course, exempt from the deadlines! Anything else would be totally unreasonable! You might not know you’re pregnant, you might give birth prematurely, you might give birth in the middle of summer, or even on Christmas Eve itself! We can’t demand that your body or your baby conform to the clock and the calendar. Heck, you can even apply for leave retroactively if you need! You two are parents now, so your life will not be predictable for twenty years. Of course, we cannot demand that it is!”
I couldn’t help but burst into tears again. I explained how the bureaucrat had handled this, and the boss instantly got a hard, dark look in her eyes.
Boss: “She said that, did she? Well, this might explain some things… Did you say she had sent you an email with this?”
Me: “Yes?”
Boss: “Forward it to me. Then I think I will have more than words to share with her…”
Husband: “This seems to have been a known problem?”
Boss: “Not exactly, but… Sometimes you have a person who is consistently surrounded by drama. It is very hard to know if it is bad luck, bad cases, or… something else. And now she might have made a true formal mistake for the first time.”
Husband: “Will she be fired?”
Boss: “Swedish labour law being what it is makes it incredibly difficult to fire anyone. However, we do have an incredibly large amount of equally incredibly boring filing work that needs to be done. Maybe someone that cannot be trusted with personal cases needs to be… reassigned.” *To me.* “If you trust me to handle your case in the future, then just email me directly going forward. You were treated badly, so I will be personally responsible in the future.”
She got to hold the baby before we left, looking incredibly happy to do so. I also know that the bureaucrat quit soon after, hopefully returning to the black pits from whence she came.
