Recruitment Is Not Their Calling

, , , , | Working | December 6, 2019

(I am the bad customer in this story, but in my defense, I have explicitly told the recruiter I am not interested in being called by phone and this lady insists on calling me twice a day for two weeks on both my personal and work numbers. No amount of return calls, voicemails, and emails stops her from calling me. Also worth noting: this company sells seminars for customer service training.)

Me: *picks up the phone* “Hello?”

Sales Associate: “Hi. I am looking for [My Name]? I am with [Company].”

Me: “Hi, I am busy right now. I can’t talk.”

Sales Associate: “All right, well, why don’t I call back later? May I—”

Me: “No, you may not. I would really rather you not call at all.” *click*

(Go take one of your classes, lady.)

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A Signature Of Not Knowing What They’re Doing

, , , | Working | December 6, 2019

(When I am a kid in the 70s, my mum sets me up with a Post Office Savings Account with her as a trustee. Just after I turn sixteen, my mum and I go in to switch it into my name only. My mum is asked to sign something, and then it is my turn. My full name is quite long; let’s say it’s Elizabeth Suzanne MacKenzie.)

Cashier: “I need you to sign this signature card to put in your Savings Book.”

Me: “Okay.” *signs card*

Cashier: “No, I need you to sign your name.”

Me: “I did.”

Cashier: *sighs* “You signed ‘E MacKenzie.’ The name on the account is ‘Elizabeth Suzanne MacKenzie.’ That’s what you need to sign.”

Me: “But…” *pointing* “…that there is my signature. Do you want me to just write my name?”

Cashier: “You need to do your signature, but with your full name.”

Me: “But… my signature, that I use all the time, is that: it’s just my initial and surname. My signature doesn’t have my full name in it.”

Cashier: “Well, we need you to sign your full name.”

Me: “I can write my full name, or I can do a signature, but they’re completely different things. What one do you want?”

Cashier: “You need to sign your full name.”

Me: *totally fed up at this point* “Okay, fine.”

(And that’s why, until I got married ten years later and changed my name, I held an account where my signature was just my name, entirely printed in bold capitals. Yes, apparently that was perfectly acceptable as a “signature.”)

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Got That Reading The Packaging Thing (Gar)Licked  

, , , , , , | Working | December 6, 2019

(My doctor has me on a restricted diet, which includes disallowing garlic and garlic powder. Yeah, it sucks. But if I eat it, I risk lying on the ground in agony and restarting my eight weeks of treatment. I am going grocery shopping and see a special on burgers.)

Deli Worker: “Let me know if you have any questions!”

Me: “Do the steak burgers have anything besides beef, salt, and pepper in them?”

Deli Worker: *upbeat and confident* “Nope! When it says, ‘salt and pepper,’ we mean only salt and pepper!”

Me: “Great! I’ll take eight.”

(It’s a friendly and helpful interaction, and I’m happy… until I get home, and my grocery bag smells distinctly of garlic. I read the printed sticker on the burgers:)

Ingredients: “Steak, salt, pepper, garlic, rosemary, other spices.”

(Great. I need to go back — a forty-minute round trip — and return these. I hate to ask for a manager but I figure next time they might accidentally kill someone by misinformation. I explain the issue to them during the return.)

General Manager: *stares at package* “You’re allergic to what?”

Me: “Garlic. But I was specifically told it only has beef, salt, and pepper when I bought it.”

General Manager: “Oh. People make mistakes, y’know?”

Me: “I could have been really ill if I hadn’t read that before eating it.”

General Manager: “Well, with that kind of allergy you really should check the packaging.”

Me: *sarcastically* “Silly me for trusting the people who work the deli counter.”

General Manager: “Yeah, well, sometimes we have new people… I guess I can go back and talk to them but you should really read the packaging.”

Me: “Good thing I did?”

(So, next time they accidentally land someone in the hospital, know that I tried. I really did.)

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That Would Have Your Bank Account Tied Up

, , , , , | Working | December 5, 2019

I was working in a school uniform shop one summer and in the heat, we were all a bit drowsy; the fan had broken and we were about half an hour away from closing time. 

A lady, the mother of someone I knew, came into the store to buy two school ties for her daughter and was served by my colleague. 

About two minutes later, she walked back into the store with her receipt out, her daughter right behind her, and explained that she’d been charged for 21 ties rather than 2! Our shop has a reputation for being expensive, but I don’t know how she thought we were charging over £100 for two ties; the price should have been around £12!

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At This (Interest) Rate They’ll Stop Calling You

, , , | Working | December 5, 2019

(I’m very careful with my money and budget, and I pay off my credit card every month. I also shop for and get low interest rates. One day, I get a marketing call.)

Caller: “Hello! I can save you money! I see you have a car loan. I can offer a refinance for only [percentage].”

Me: “That’s nice. I am actually paying 4% less than that. Can you beat that?”

Caller: *slightly deflated* “No, ma’am, but I can offer you a credit card for only [percentage]!”

Me: “Thanks, but I already have one for 3% less. Can you beat that?”

Caller: *even more deflated* “No, ma’am. What’s your home loan rate?”

Me: “It’s [percentage]. Can you beat that?”

Caller: *totally depressed* “No, ma’am.” *long pause* “Have a nice day.”

Me: “Goodbye!”

(That felt so good!)

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