Traveling Through The Final Fur-long

, , , , , | Right | June 1, 2020

I am returning from my first international trip and am going through customs. Due to jet lag, insomnia, hunger, concerns about making my connecting flight, and being a generally anxious person, my brain is pretty much soup.

Customs Agent: “Anything to declare?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

I list off several small items. 

Me: “…and a coat.”

The customs agent points at the coat in my arms.

Customs Agent: “Is that the coat you bought?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customs Agent: “Is the fur real?”

I freeze momentarily as I try to process the question and spit out the result as-is.

Me: “Uh, I have no idea, but I paid €39 for it, so no, or I got a h*** of a deal.”

Thankfully, this was accepted as an answer, and I got through customs without delay.

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Unfiltered Story #195792

, , | Unfiltered | June 1, 2020

(After a fairly long flight, I’m in line to pick up a rental car. When I reach the front of the line, a worker calls me over to some of the self-service terminals. At first, the terminal would read my driver’s license, and then it rejected my credit card. After fiddling with the machine for around ten minutes, the worker directed me to go stand in the priority member line, so they can try and help me at the counter. A man pipes up from the regular line.)

Man: If you go in front of me, we’re going to have a problem.

(I ignored him. After a few seconds, he spoke up again.)

Man: You think you’re better than me, so you can just cut in front of me?

(At that point, I lost my temper, largely because of worry that I was going to be strandeddd in the airport with no way of making the three-hour drive I had ahead of me.)

Me: I have been here for almost fifteen minutes at this point. I got pulled out of that line when I got to the front, spent ten minutes trying to get my card to work on the terminals over there, and then got sent back over here. So, I don’t care what problems you have. You’ve been here two minutes, you can wait a minute more.

Man: *sputtering* Well, I haven’t seen you. I gueess you’re supposed to be on the terminal. I don’t know.

(At that point, the man at the counter called me up. I turned back to the man.)

Me: *bowing and sweeping my arm out* Go ahead. If it is such an imposition, I can be patient and wait for you to go ahead of me.

Man: *scowls and shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything*

(I then turned and walked up to the counter. The worker managed to put my card through with no issue, and I headed out to pick up my car. As I walked away, I heard the worker at the counter tell the man that he was actually supposed to be at a different counter.)))

Can You Insure That?

, , , , , | Working | May 29, 2020

Due to a delay, I have to rush to make my connecting flight. I get to the gate right at the last possible minute. Just as I’m about to turn at the gate, someone stops me.

Saleslady: “Can I speak to you about travel insurance?”

Me: “They’re closing my gate in five minutes.”

Saleslady: “This will only take two minutes.”


This story was featured in our May 2020 roundup!

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“Pas Toujours Raison” – For Her

, , , , , | Right | May 26, 2020

I am flying back to the USA from Heathrow airport in London. I get to security and there is a woman in front of me with one of those HUGE purses, larger than the backpack I am carrying. There are multiple signs that explain the limitations of what you can bring on board a flight and even a guy going down the line telling us the limits.

We unload our respective bags and shoes into the trays and send them through the x-ray machine. While I am waiting for the lady herself to get scanned, I glance back at the x-ray machine, which has stopped. A cluster of people around the display are all peering intently at it and pointing at the screen.

After I get through the scanner and start getting my stuff, I see that they have pulled the lady aside and had her dump her purse out into a tray. It is loaded with several scores of bottles of perfume, some of which individually look to exceed the total liquid limit, let alone the single bottle limit. As I walk past I can hear the conversation.

Officer: “You cannot bring this much liquid on the plane.”

Lady: “But it’s just perfume.”

Officer: “That doesn’t matter; you still cannot bring it on the plane.”

Lady: “But it’s expensive perfume!”

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Decency Isn’t His Priority

, , , , | Friendly | May 24, 2020

I work a lot of conventions around the country, which means a lot of airport trips. I’m disabled, though I know how to handle airports by this point. I’m at my gate, ready for them to announce pre-boarding. They call for those with priority boarding: people with small children, active military, and people with disabilities. I start to get up to head towards the gate.

Passenger: “You aren’t priority! Wait your turn!”

I’m used to premature judgment, so I ignore him and use my cane to get in line. Instead of leaving me alone, he comes over and gets in my face.

Passenger: “I SAID, WAIT YOUR TURN! IF I CAN’T GET ON YET, YOU CAN’T, EITHER!”

I’m a little freaked out at this point. The man is obviously taller and stronger than me. A flight attendant rushes over.

Attendant: “Sir! I need you to back off!”

Passenger: “Tell this b**** to sit down! She ain’t priority!”

Attendant: “We will determine that. You need to sit down, sir.”

He takes a step back but refuses to go further.

Passenger: “If she can board early, I get to get on early, too! Ain’t no way she’s disabled!”

Attendant: “Ma’am, can I see your boarding pass?”

I hand it over.

Attendant: “All right, it shows that you did request priority boarding due to mobility disability. And you are obviously using a mobility aid.”

Passenger: “SHE’S LYING!”

He tries to rip my pass out of the attendant’s hand. Luckily, she steps out of the way.

Attendant: “I’m going to be calling security now. Ma’am, I’ll make sure you get on the plane with no problems.”

She walked me to a coworker and then called airport security. I boarded before seeing them arrive but did not see the man board the plane afterward. Fortunately, I’ve never had to deal with anything like that since.


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