He Won’t Sue, He Already Had Too Much Exposure

, , , , , , , | Right | March 28, 2020

I work as a staff member at an airport club, the kind that you have to pay to belong to and that offers WiFi, desks, tables, phones, snacks, and so on for busy travelers.

The men’s room is located directly adjoining the staff office, with doors that are virtually identical except for small stylish plaques saying, “MEN,” and, “STAFF.” Consequently, it’s not uncommon for men in a hurry to lunge into the staff office, do a double-take, and then excuse themselves and go next door.

Today — Super Bowl Sunday, as it happens — a couple of us were sitting at the table in the staff office when suddenly the door flew open and a man all but ran into the room, with his fly unzipped and his junk already out. I can only assume he expected it to be a one-seater that he wouldn’t have to share with anyone.

Embarrassing for him, embarrassing for us. But what really made it memorable was his response to the situation. Standing there gaping at us, he shouted, “I’LL SUE!” 

Then, he turned and ran back out… without making any real effort to cover himself.

I looked at my coworker and she looked at me. “Did that really happen?”

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Vegetables, And Uh… More Vegetables?

, , , , , , , | Working | March 10, 2020

(I’m waiting for a flight and grabbing a bite to eat at a well-known Canadian coffee chain. While I’m in line, I see a new menu item, but I don’t know what’s in it.)

Me: “Hi, what’s in [item]?”

Cashier: *punches in item* “That’ll be [price].”

Me: “What’s in it?”

Cashier: “Pardon?”

Me: “I don’t know what is in the [item].”

Cashier: *points to the sign overhead*

(I can’t see very well without my glasses, so the sign is only slightly helpful and I had seen it from the line to decide to ask about. In particular, there’s something on top of the wrap that looks like it could be potatoes, which I like, or eggs, which I hate, and I have no idea if there are small vegetables like diced onions, or any sauces.)

Me: “I can’t tell what’s in the picture.”

Cashier: *looking at the sign* “Lettuce, tomato, sausage, cheese, and vegetables.”

Me: “Vegetables? What vegetables?”

Cashier: “Lettuce and tomato.”

Me: “Okay… What about that thing on top?”

Cashier: “Vegetables. They’re… fried potatoes.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get that.”

(It had sauce. No idea what kind. It was quite good, but I hate to think of if I’d had a food restriction.)

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Tell The Terrorists And Drug Smugglers To Take Weekends Off!

, , , , , | Working | March 10, 2020

(I am going through the carry-on security scanner at the airport and one of my bins is flagged. It contains only my laptop, my shoes, and my earbuds, and I have no idea what the scanner took issue with since they should all be fine.)

Me: *jokingly referring to the machine* “What did it get mad at?”

Security Dude: “I’m not mad at it. I’m just mad that I have to be here on a Saturday morning.”

(Fair, but should you really be telling me that?)

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Entitled And Empowered

, , , | Right | March 8, 2020

(An “entitled” woman — rich looking with a fur coat — on our flight gets to the baggage claim with the rest of us. The baggage belt takes a while to start. When it does, only about seven bags come out and then the belt just stops for some reason. It stays “off” for about two minutes. The “entitled woman” actually walks up to the door flaps, moves them aside a bit, and yells into the back loud enough for all of us to hear:)

Entitled Woman: *very condescending tone* “HELLO! Can we get some more bags out here?!”

(We all looked at each other. Unfortunately, within about five seconds of her little rant, the buzzer buzzed and the belt started again with the remaining bags coming out. We wished the belt hadn’t coincidentally started because it appeared she thought she “had the power” to make things happen by yelling at the employees. We ALL had to wait, but apparently, she was more important than the rest of us.)

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Unfiltered Story #186239

, , | Unfiltered | February 19, 2020

(I’m going to the Austrian Alps with my parents to visit my brother. We’re checking in our luggage when I notice a sign by the check-in desk.)

Sign: ASSAULTS ON STAFF: While traveling through the airport, please be courteous when dealing with our staff. Any threats, verbal abuse or violence towards our staff will be taken seriously and you may be prosecuted. Photography and video recording of our staff is prohibited. Our staff is trying to help you with your journey. Thank you for your cooperation.

(It’s a sad world we live in where this needs to be spelled out to people. And even sadder that the sign probably doesn’t help all that much.)