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Sing A Little Softer, Daddy-O

, , , , | Related | June 26, 2022

My family has gone to a karaoke night at a pub because my sister is a very talented singer and my dad wants to show off. The little one and I get our duet out of the way first, and then it’s her time to shine. Almost every time she gets up to sing, the pub noticeably quietens.

Later into the night, my dad is tipsily boasting to the bartender about how great my sister is. She’s in this orchestra and did this music exam, and so on and so forth. However, he’s sober enough to notice the very drunk guy who starts trying to hit on my sister.

Dad: “Oi, knock it off. She’s only sixteen!”

Drunk Guy: “Huh? No, no.”

Dad: “Get lost.”

The drunk guy gets lost to a table a bit away and thankfully doesn’t come back to bother my sister again. Since my dad has that sorted, I’m not paying too much attention to the drunk guy and notice that the bartender seems to be studiously not paying attention. My dad goes back to his boasting, though, and the bartender chats with him some more.

Dad: “And can you believe that she’s only sixteen?”

Bartender: “I wish you hadn’t told me that.”

Dad: “What d’you mean?”

She then explained to us that our town had a town-only law where under-eighteens weren’t allowed in pubs after 21:00. That’s the same time that the karaoke started. She wasn’t going to ID either me or my sisters, but since my dad told her the age, she had to kick us out.

Cue Dad grumbling the whole way home about how it was so unfair that my sister wasn’t allowed to join the karaoke, and how was she going to show off how talented she was if she didn’t get the chance to?

On the other hand, my fourteen-year-old sister was very happy that she wasn’t going to be forced to sit in a pub all evening again, and I was happy for the excuse to stay home and babysit her.

The R-Rated Trilogy

, , , , , , | Right | June 17, 2022

I work at a movie theatre, and we have had a few ridiculous customers trying to get into R-rated films without ID. Here are my favourites.

A kid tried to prove to me he was old enough to see “Us” by showing me his report card.

A kid tried to bribe my coworker with $50 to get into an R-rated film.

A kid was told he was not old enough for an R-rated film, so he bought tickets to another film. When we checked our seat maps and his auditorium, he had a walk of shame when three employees did theatre checks, and he was caught in the R-rated film.

You Dispensed With Too Much Information

, , , , , | Right | June 5, 2022

My husband works at a cannabis dispensary on Indigenous land, so many of the government regulations don’t apply. Apparently, people think that means there are NO rules.

A customer comes in, orders some cannabis products, and then browses the paraphernalia. He looks to be in his forties.

Customer: “Hmm, I’m not sure…”

Husband: “Anything I can help you with? We have lots of designs. What are you looking for?”

Customer: “I just don’t know! I’m buying for my son, and I don’t know which he’d prefer.”

Husband: “You can always come back with him. We’re open until 9:00 pm.”

Customer: “Oh, no. He’s too young to come in here.”

Husband: “You do realize I can’t sell to you now, right?”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

My Job Security Outweighs Your Need For Beer

, , , , , | Right | June 2, 2022

I am the third customer in the queue. The first customers are a middle-aged couple and their kid who looks like he could be anywhere between sixteen and twenty. There are two bottles of beer among their other items, which I only pay attention to because the cashier is refusing to scan them.

Cashier: “The problem is he looks legal age, but I can’t sell it to you if he can’t show ID.”

Mum: “But it’s not for him; it’s for us.”

Cashier: “But he’s with you, so I can’t sell it to you.”

Mum: “I don’t see why I can’t buy my beer just because I have my son with me.”

Cashier: “Look, he looks old enough to drink, but he also looks under twenty-five. I have to ID him.”

Mum: “This is ridiculous!”

Cashier: “I can’t sell it to you. I don’t know that it’s not a proxy sale.”

Mum: “But I am telling you that I’m not going to give it to him!”

Cashier: “If I am caught selling this to you, whether or not your son drinks any, I could lose my job. I could be facing jail time. I will not sell this to you.”

Dad: “Well, how about this. I’ll just pick up those—” *points at the beer* “—and head to the back of the queue, yeah?”

Cashier: “I can’t. I already know that you’re together. I can’t take that risk.”

Dad: “But it would be just me buying beer.”

Cashier: “No. If my supervisor catches me. If he saw on the security footage, I would be in a serious amount of trouble. You are not buying this beer.”

There’s a bit more back and forth, but eventually, the family buys the rest of their things (without the beer) and leaves. The cashier calls over for another employee to put the beer away, and the next customer addresses him.

Customer #2: “Some people…”

Cashier: “For all I knew, that kid could have been sixteen, or he could hate the taste of beer, but it’s not a risk I can take.”

Customer #2: “Oh, I know, sweetie. I just can’t believe their nerve!”

In The End He’s Just Blowing Smoke

, , , , | Right | May 19, 2022

Back in the late 90s, I worked Saturdays at a stationers/newsagent (convenience store). It was a typical day, most of the customers were nice, but there were a lot of them, and I’d been on my feet for quite a while. In the queue was a young man, maybe seventeen or eighteen, but certainly, within the range of asking for ID – you had to be over sixteen to buy cigarettes at the time.

Which I did. He didn’t have any, so I said I couldn’t serve him. He wasn’t happy, and shouted at me, then stormed off.

I assumed that was the end of it, and carried on with my work, serving customers, restocking the cigarette display, etc, when about half an hour later, he shows up again, cigarette in hand, and proceeds to blow smoke right in my face.

Customer: “See, I told you I was old enough.”

And with that he stormed off again, as I called after him:

Me: “It’s no smoking in the centre.”

Obviously, his having been served cigarettes elsewhere in no way proved his age. He just came across as incredibly immature and petty to come all the way back (the nearest other tobacco shop was outside of the shopping centre), just to blow smoke at a seventeen-year-old shop assistant.