Advancing Their Knowledge

, , , , | Working | December 12, 2017

(I get a call from one of my payroll clients and the following conversation occurs:)

Client: “Hi, we have a new employee who just started today and asked for an advance. I don’t want to give him an advance. What should I do?”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to give him an advance. You’re the employer. You can just tell him that he’ll have to wait until payday next week.”

Client: “I mean, is there any way I could maybe just cut him a check today for roughly the amount of one day’s work, and then you can take that amount out of his pay next week?”

Me: *pause* “Yes… we can do that.”

Client: “Oh, ok, great! So what is that called?”

Me: “An advance.”

Best To Let Calling Telemarketers Lie

, , | Working | December 12, 2017

(A telemarketer talked a colleague into putting him through to our boss.)

Boss: *genuinely friendly and polite* “I have to apologize for my employee. She is new and didn’t know that it is our business policy not to do business with you.”


Boss: *still friendly and polite* “The last time somebody from your company called us, they lied and tried to sell us things we don’t need. So, have a nice day and never call here again.”

Rife With Ignorance

, , , , | Working | December 12, 2017

(My boss, a person with a Master’s degree, is writing an article for a professional publication, and despite the fact that I am just the receptionist, he asks me to proofread it for him because his assistant has the day off. It’s a good article about something I agree with, so I’m happy to help out with making sure it’s right. I find a problem almost immediately.)

Me: “I don’t think you meant to say ‘bereft’ in this sentence. Is there a word you would prefer in this spot?”

Boss: “Yes, I did! I said it’s bereft with dishonest people, as in there are too many of them! Don’t tell me what I mean.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I don’t really know what to say because he’s wrong, but he’s also yelling, and he isn’t known for changing his mind or listening to reason.)

Boss: *looks at the article, then back at me* “Why? What does ‘bereft’ mean?”

Me: *taken aback* “It means deprived or lacking, so the sentence actually says that we’re lacking dishonest people.”

Boss: “Oh. Well, that’s not what I mean at all. I mean there’s too many of them.”

Me: “So… we’re rife with dishonest people.”

Boss: “Yes… change it to that.”

(He went into his office and told Siri to define “rife.”)

Committing Career Suicide

, , , | Working | December 11, 2017

(I used to volunteer with a suicide prevention charity while at university. I put it on hold while I moved around the country looking for a job. Once settled down, I start up again working on Saturday evenings. A month later, my employer has fired a manager to cut back on costs, and for us agreeing to jointly fulfill the role, we have each gotten a small increase in wages. Said manager was also involved in the night shifts, which we now have to fulfil.)

Manager: “All right, so it’s [My Name] and [Coworker] on Saturday and Sunday… [My Name] Saturday and [Coworker] Sunday.”

Me: “I’d rather we switched. I’m busy Saturday evenings.”

Coworker: “I don’t mind switching.”

Manager: “No, you have that report due in on Mondays, and you can’t do it if you have worked the Sunday shift.”

Me: “I can do the report on Sunday. It doesn’t take long.”

Manager: “No, that won’t work.”

Coworker: “[Manager], it’s fine. I’ll do the Saturday.”

Manager: “No, [My Name] is new, and he has to learn proper respect and authority. He will work Saturday.”

Coworker: “Mate, he volunteers with [Charity] on Saturdays. Also I have been here long enough to learn ‘respect and authority’ and I say I’m working the Saturday!”

(Our manager scoffs at us but eventually lets us switch. I arrive at my next shift with Charity, and am told someone has been ringing in every few minutes. We suspect it might be a prank caller, or someone who is in distress and is unable to maintain the call. We’re on alert, though, in case they phone back. I end up being the next person to take the call.)

Me: “[Charity]. This is [Alias]—”

Manager: *recognising my voice* “No, you’re [My Name]. It’s [Manager]. I’ve been calling all night to see if you actually do work there and not just being lazy… See you on Monday!” *hangs up*

(The others at Charity weren’t happy with me, and I had a few choice words for Manager when I got in. He didn’t understand how inappropriate it was to flood a suicide prevention service to prove someone volunteered there.)

Crediting The Manager With The Failure

, , , | Working | December 11, 2017

(I am hired to work at a popular department store as a sales associate. This department store has a store credit card and the managers expect all employees to ask customers to sign up for one. Sometimes, when it is slow and the store isn’t meeting its credit applications goal, they will go around and ask the new hires if they want to open a store credit card so they can meet their goal. This happens on my first day on the sales floor. I am helping a customer when my manager approaches me with another sales associate.)

Manager: “Come on, [My Name]! [Coworker] is going to open a [Store] credit card for you!”

(Being a college student and having no credit history, I know I isn’t going to get approved but I have previously witnessed this particular manager being pushy whenever a customer or new hire said they don’t want to open a card, so her approaching me like this already makes me uncomfortable and nervous.)

Me: “Oh, no, thank you. I don’t want a credit card.”

Manager: “As long as you’re an employee at [Store] you have to apply and have a card.”

Me: “I won’t get approved. I have no cred—”

Manager: *interrupting me* “You still need to apply. It’s required for all employees. Now, do you have your driver’s license on you or do you need to go to the break room?”

Me: “I don’t want to open a credit card, [Manager]. I’m not going to get my driver’s license.”

(This continues for about five minutes, my manager trying to convince me to open an account while I keep refusing. The whole time, my other coworker who was going to open the account also tries to tell my manager that I don’t want a card and is ignored. Finally, she gives up.)

Manager: “I’m really disappointed in you, [My Name]. If you were a team player you would open a credit card so we could meet our goal but clearly you don’t care about our company. Not only are we not going to meet our goal because of you, but [Coworker] is going to suffer as well because she only needed one more app to meet her goal. If we don’t meet our goal within the next hour before we close, it will be all your fault.”

(After this happened, my manager approached me several other times to open a credit card and I refused. Finally, after a couple of months, she gave up and stopped asking me. I quit after two months later because i was tired of management always pushing us to open up credit cards.)

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