Some Employees Have Faded Away

, , , , , | Working | August 16, 2018

(I receive a book for my birthday, and I’m really excited to read it, so I start right away. Unfortunately, about halfway through, I discover that something must have gone wrong with the printing press, as the ink starts to fade until it’s completely unreadable, and the last three quarters of the book are blank. Since it was purchased from a major chain bookshop, I take the book and my gift receipt to the closest location. I wait in line, and when it’s my turn, I am waited on by a man whose name tag indicates he’s a manager.)

Me: “I’d like to exchange this book, please. This one is defective, and I’d like to be able to finish reading it.”

Manager: *annoyed* “I can’t give you cash, only store credit.”

Me: “I don’t want a refund; I want to exchange the book so I can finish reading it.”

(He gives me a blank stare, so I open it and show him where the ink starts to fade out.)

Me: “See? I can’t read the last half of the book. I want to exchange it for a copy that isn’t like this.”

Manager: *still staring like he doesn’t believe me* “I can check and see if we have it in stock.”

Me: “Great, thank you.”

(He stands there staring at me for another moment like he thinks I’m going to change my mind. Finally, he radios someone and they bring the book up to the front. In the meantime, no other customers have come up, but he spends the whole time looking for someone else to wait on. When the other employee arrives with the new copy, the whole exchange process takes less than two minutes, since I have the defective copy and a gift receipt. The manager still seems extremely annoyed, and the employee looks just as confused as I am. She looks at the defective copy while the manager processes the exchange.)

Employee: “Oh, yeah, that’s terrible. You can’t possibly read this. We’ll have to damage it out.”

Manager: *sliding the new book across the counter at me so fast I barely catch it before it falls off* “There.”

(I open the book and flip through it really quickly to make sure it isn’t defective, too, and he looks offended.)

Me: *smiling as politely as I can* “Much better! Thank you so much.”

(The employee smiled and wished me happy reading, but the manager continued to look offended and stared at me all the way out the door. I still have no idea why he was so annoyed and confused about me wanting a copy of the same book that was actually readable.)

That Story Is Bull

, , , , , , | Working | August 14, 2018

(Our fast food store is in a semi-rural area. We have a pub on one side and a major road on another, and the remaining two sides are grazing fields frequented by a sizable herd of cattle. The fields have a high fence separating us from them; however, the quality of said fence isn’t great. One day when I am working drive-thru at the payment window, I hear a loud bang. I lean out to see, to my surprise, a large and rather agitated bull walking through the drive-thru.)

Me: *shouting* “[Manager], we have a bull in the drive-thru lane!”

Manager: *not at all believing me* “I’m sure we do, [My Name].”

(The bull goes running past me, hitting cars as it passes, and goes past the collection window where my manager is working.)

Bull: “MOO!”

Manager: “…”

(The bull then ran out onto the road, halting traffic for close to two hours whilst the police first tried to corral it back into the field, and finally tranquilised it when it started to get more aggressive.)

What A Dump Of A Job

, , , , , , | Working | August 11, 2018

(I am the shift lead at an understaffed ice cream shop that opens at three pm every day. The back of our shop is against a golf course. One day, I come out to find our dumpster full of grass clippings. The golf course has emptied their mowers there. I mention it to the owner over the phone, as he never came in.)

Boss: “What? Go over and give them a talking to. Our contract with the garbage company says all trash has to be bagged, and forbids lawn clippings! They will fine us for this!”

Me: “Um, we are usually too understaffed for me to step out. Maybe you could come and talk to them?”

Boss: “Do it on your own time, then! I’m not going to pay someone overtime just to talk to them! This has to stop!”

(Instead, I call the golf course during my shift. I basically get laughed at. Two weeks later, our dumpster is full of grass clippings and broken paver stones. The garbage company fines the owner an additional $50, and he calls me, furious.)

Boss: “I’m not paying an additional $50! Why did you let this happen again?”

Me: “I tried calling them and—”

Boss: “I told you, go over there one morning! Calling them won’t work!”

Me: “I’m not willing to do that on my own time. Anyway, I have another solution. I talked to the garbage guy, and he says that for $5 more a month, we can switch to a dumpster with a lock.”

Boss: “Five dollars a month! That’s ridiculous!”

(The third time it happens, I come out the next day to find a guy sitting by the dumpster in a lawn chair.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Dumpster Guard: “Hey, my uncle hired me to guard the dumpster every morning and make sure no one uses it.”

Me: “You’re… guarding the dumpster. How much is your uncle paying you?”

Dumpster Guard: “$10 an hour. Sweet summer job, right?”

(He was paid more than any employee in the understaffed shop! Unsurprisingly, the ice cream shop closed the next year.)

The (Water)Mark Of A Good Boss

, , , , | Working | August 9, 2018

(I work at a company as a photographer. Recently, my boss suggested getting the watermark always used on our images changed, so I got a new watermark from our graphic designer and starting using it. Several weeks later, I am chatting with my boss.)

Boss: *while scrolling through images* “That watermark looks so much nicer than the old one!”

Me: “I agree!”

Boss: “Good job suggesting that.”

Me: “Um… That was actually your idea.”

Boss: “Oh?”

Me: *laughing* “So, good job!”

Boss: “Thanks! I just wanted to be complimented.”

Me: “Slightly backhanded, but hey, it worked!”

They Rostered Their Own Last Days

, , , , , , , | Working | August 6, 2018

(I have a coworker and manager who for some reason don’t like me. They’ve tried to get me fired by not doing their duties and blaming me, or getting friends to make complaints against me, etc. All their attempts been disproven. Our roster is posted a month in advance and emailed to all staff. Three months prior, I applied for and was granted ten days off for my brother’s wedding and a family holiday in another state. Two days before I leave I overhear this on my way to my lunch break:)

Coworker: “[Friend who had made a bogus complaint against me] has an extra ticket for [four-day Music Festival]. I really want to go but it’s too late to get time off.”

Manager: “Get someone to swap you.”

Coworker: “Only [My Name] could do it. She has ten days in a row off.”

Manager: “What? [My Name] has no life. Ask her; if she says no, I’ll just change the roster, anyway.”

(I quickly clock out and take a photo of the posted roster with the time and date showing. Another coworker who also heard the conversation assures me that they will back me up and tells me to enjoy my holiday. After my break, [Coworker] comes up to me.)

Coworker: “You need to work [four days in the middle of my holiday]. I’ll swap shifts, but we’ll work it out later.”

(She then goes to walk off.)

Me: “[Coworker], I can’t. I’m away for ten days starting the tenth.”

Coworker: *with a smirk* “Too bad. [Manager] already said you have to swap.”

Me: “Sorry, but [Store Manager] already approved my leave three months ago. I’ll be in Perth, then. Find someone else.”

Coworker: “You’ll be sorry.”

(She storms off in a huff. But I hear nothing from either of them. I have the next day off and don’t work my last shift with either, but knowing [Manager] is working the shift after, I check the roster to see it hasn’t changed. I take another photo just in case. While I’m away, I receive six messages from the manager and store manager saying that I’m in trouble for not turning up for my scheduled shifts, which I ignore. On my first day back at work, I’m called into the office with the store manager.)

Store Manager: “[My Name], I’m really surprised. You’re not usually someone to just not turn up for your shifts. I wanted to give you a chance to explain.”

Me: “I had ten days off to go to Perth. You approved it, and even gave me advice on things to do as you used to live there.”

Store Manager: “Oh. Yes, I remember that, but as you’re down on the roster I figured you had changed your mind about going.”

Me: “Definitely not, and when I had my last shift, I wasn’t on the roster until today. I have photos to prove it.”

(I showed her the photos, and suggested having a look at the roster and checking when it was changed in the system. Sure enough, I had been swapped with [Coworker] after my last shift, when [Manager] was the only one with access to change it. With that, the photos, my other coworker’s statement about the conversation, and the previous problems, [Coworker] and [Manager] were both fired.)

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