Broken Relationship

, , , | Romantic | May 24, 2017

(My boyfriend is usually a pretty grounded person, but every once in a while he comes up with some crazy thoughts. We’re cuddling on the couch watching TV when suddenly he comes out with this:)

Boyfriend: “You know what would be crazy? What if, instead of hind paws, cats had tiny human hands that were cat sized? Then instead of kneading you, they would grope you with their tiny back hands.”

Me: *stares at him bewildered* “Umm…what?”

Boyfriend: “Also! What if they spoke English instead of meowing? Not speaking English per se; they wouldn’t know what they were saying. But instead of saying ‘meow,’ each cat would have a single, random sentence they said over and over and over. Like one would always say ‘Where’s the butter?’ and another would only be able to say ‘I like short shorts!’ and so on, so that each cat had its own unique phrase it would say instead of meowing.”

Me: *hugs him* “I’m sorry, sweetie. I don’t know how I broke you, but I’m sorry I did.”

(Cue my boyfriend laughing hysterically.)

Married To A Germaniac

, , , , | Romantic | May 24, 2017

(I speak German. My wife doesn’t.)

Wife: “What does ‘polter’ mean?”

Me: “It’s kind of like… ‘geräusch.’ Which is another German word… and does not help you at all!”

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 9

, , | Romantic | May 23, 2017

(I’ve only been dating my boyfriend for a year, but we are very close and tentatively planning our future together. We also love playing Pokémon Go. While out on a walk, he hatches an egg. This means he gets a completely random Pokémon.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, if this is a Charmander, will you marry me?”

Me: *amused* “This is how it’s gonna be huh? All right, go ahead.”

(Egg hatches, and out pops a Charmander! I crack up laughing while my boyfriend has a stunned, but happy look in his face.)

Me: “So, when’s the wedding?”

(We are not quite there yet, but after a 1 in 100 chance, at least Nintendo approves of us!)

Related:
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 8
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 7
Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 6

When You Live With Your Griefer

, , | Romantic | May 23, 2017

(My boyfriend and I are playfully bantering in the kitchen, and he is “beating me” on every point I bring up.)

Me: *jokingly exasperated* “Can’t you give me anything?”

Boyfriend: “…Grief?”

Attack Of The Nerds (Video)

| | Romantic | May 23, 2017

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