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Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

This Is Where We Write The Story Name Things

, , , , , | Romantic | October 23, 2021

When stressed or tired, I tend to forget nouns. My husband has just finished eating dinner.

Me: “Can you please put your food holder into the washer box?”

Husband: *Big sigh* “Use your words…”

Me: “I am! I am specifically using my words!”

But Did He Use His Blinkers?

, , , , | Romantic | October 19, 2021

I was getting ingredients out of the fridge and my husband wanted something from the cabinet next to it. He started going, “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” like a reversing truck as he approached behind me, letting me know he was there. He stopped beeping and I had what I needed from the fridge, so I pivoted to get out of the way and close the door. I slammed right into him.

After I finally stopped laughing:

Me: “I thought you were gone! You stopped beeping!”

Husband: “I stopped beeping because I shifted into park!”

A Girlfriend By Any Other Initial… Would Complicate Matters

, , , , , | Romantic | October 15, 2021

My new boyfriend has been married before, as have I. He has a beautiful tattoo on his shoulder of a scrollwork cross with his former wife’s first initial in flowing script. One day, we are just sitting and talking, and the tattoo comes up, since I want to get one eventually.

He looks down and speaks quietly.

Boyfriend: “I guess I should get that removed, right?”

Me: “Of course not! It’s a beautiful work of art and represents an important part of your life.”

Boyfriend: “But every time you see it, you’ll be reminded of her.”

Me: *Gently but grinning* “Honey… what’s my first initial?”

He thinks for a moment and then remembers it’s the same and laughs.

Boyfriend: “So, instead of [Ex-Wife] it can stand for [My Name]!”

We had a good laugh, but the weird part came later. I was talking with a friend who knows about [Boyfriend]’s tattoo. Even after I explained the coincidence, she actually argued with me that I should make him remove it to “prove his love” to me. I suddenly had somewhere very important to be and we’ve barely spoken since.

If You Dig A Deep Hole, You’d Better Bring A Ladder

, , , | Romantic | October 11, 2021

Once in my life, I figured out the right thing to say to a woman.

I was chatting with the girl I was dating at the time. Just making conversation, I said:

Me: “I read an interesting article about astronomy today.” *Pauses* “Well, I don’t know if you’re interested in astronomy.”

She took this to mean, “I don’t know if you’re smart enough to understand astronomy,” and was insulted.

Girl: “I’m not dumb! I could understand it!”

I tried to explain that it wasn’t that I thought she wasn’t smart enough, but that I said exactly what I meant: that she might not be interested. But she wouldn’t have it. She went on and on about how she wasn’t stupid and how dare I say she was stupid and so on.

Finally, I got a burst of inspiration.

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s just that there’s this stereotype that all incredibly beautiful women must be dumb, and sometimes it’s hard to get past that.”

She accepted that explanation.

It Really Is A Small World After All

, , , | Romantic | October 1, 2021

My husband and I jokingly say that we encounter people from the town we grew up in everywhere we go. We now live twenty kilometers from that town. For instance, we met my father on a stretch of road fifty meters long on the other side of the country when we both didn’t know we would be there. We also encountered my parents-in-law when we were out cycling one day on a road close to us, where my parents-in-law had never been before, and they had no idea we would be there.

When we go to an island for our holiday, the first person we meet is our former neighbour from [Town]. A few days later, we are out walking in the dunes, on a path where clearly not many people go. From a distance, I spot a brightly coloured stone. It’s been painted and it’s a Happy Stone (which can be taken away and left somewhere else). I go and grab it. It’s beautiful and I’m really happy with it. I turn it over and read, “Happy Stones [Town].”

I can’t help but laugh out loud about it.

Me: “[Husband], remember how we always say we find people from [Town] everywhere?”

Husband: “Yes?”

Me: “Look!”

He found it just as funny as I did.