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Relationships, romance, and break-ups!

My Breasts, My Body, My Choice!

, , , , , | Romantic | November 11, 2022

I am a woman, and unfortunately, I am well-endowed in the chest area. By that, I mean that my breasts are disproportionately large to my body.

I have been struggling for some time with the complications that come with them. Constant back pain has been “normal” since my teenhood, and it soon started affecting my sciatic nerve. Medical care in the USA being what it is, I wasn’t able to get the option for breast reduction surgery until very recently. An appointment with a neurosurgeon finally switched the argument from “cosmetic and unnecessary” to “medically necessary” with my insurance.

The next problem came from, of all things, my boyfriend at the time.

Boyfriend: “Why are you talking about getting your breasts reduced? They’re fine.”

Me: “Unfortunately, they’re not, hun. They’re too big and too heavy for me.”

Boyfriend: “But they’re beautiful! Why are you being vain and trying to use a knife to change your appearance?”

Me: “Because it’s not about appearances; it’s affecting my health! Do you remember the doctor’s appointment I had the other day?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, what about it?”

Me: “I got that appointment because the pain got so bad I couldn’t function. The doctor is a neurologist. She said I now have spinal damage and that I need to get them reduced.”

Boyfriend: “Can’t you, like, wear a custom back brace or something?”

Me: *Coldly* “No.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I don’t support you going under the knife to ruin your [rude word for breasts].”

That sparked one h*** of an argument, which ended with me saying:

Me: “If all you care about me for is my boobs, then you lose access to them, whether I get surgery or not! You’re a single man-child now!”

Then, I kicked him out and cried angry tears.

My surgery was a success, though the recovery was long due to complications with my back.

My ex-boyfriend went around all our social circles, saying:

Ex-Boyfriend: “I didn’t support it, and she did it anyway! I should have an equal say in our relationship, and she didn’t respect that!”

He expected everyone to have his back but got a nasty surprise when all of them clapped back, called him a d****e, and stopped hanging out with him. Luckily, I lost nearly 200 pounds, PLUS whatever weight I lost from the breast reduction, and I’m happy as can be.

Handwriting That Just Barely Makes The Grade

, , , , , , | Romantic | November 7, 2022

My girlfriend is a kindergarten teacher. It’s late summer, and she’s getting ready for the school year to start. She does a “Letter Of The Week” every week with the kids to help them learn the alphabet and some basic handwriting. She has me make large posters that say “Letter Of The Week” with each letter in capital and lowercase form.

Me: “If my handwriting is poor, are you going to make me redo the assignment?”

Girlfriend: “Are you serious?”

Me: “No, just kidding.”

Girlfriend: “Okay, good. If your handwriting was that sloppy, I would have made the school enroll you in my class.”

My handwriting was ultimately deemed to be acceptable. Good thing I don’t have to redo kindergarten.

So Not Nailing This Auntie Gig

, , , , , | Romantic | November 3, 2022

My wife and I are shopping for a few things in a hardware store chain, and I show my wife a display “shop magnet”. Basically, it’s a strong magnet on a broom pole for picking up metal filings, small screws, and things like that. I leave her playing with it while I go to grab what we need.

When I come back to the aisle, I find my wife with one of the shop magnets and a box of 100 small nails.

Wife: “Look! This is going to make an awesome birthday present for [Four-Year-Old Nephew]!”

Me: “You know, I think I get why your brothers and sisters won’t let you babysit your nieces and nephews.”

And no, we did not get the boy a magnet and a box of 100 small nails for his fourth birthday.

He Was A Zombie, She Was A Schoolgirl; Can I Make It Any More Obvious?

, , , , , , , | Romantic | October 31, 2022

It’s my freshman year of college, and I’m dressed like a Catholic schoolgirl for Halloween — I know, sooo original. I go to an off-campus dorm to hang out, and one of the college baseball players is there. We have been flirting for months, so we’re both happy to see each other.

Me: “You’re a zombie baseball player?”

Crush: “Yeah! I didn’t have a lot of time or money, so I just ripped up some old baseball gear and put some bloody makeup on my face. And you’re a…”

Me: “Catholic schoolgirl. Just seemed… fun?”

We drank a little and laughed, and eventually, we started making out. Finally, we went back to his place. I slept over and he called me a cab home. He gave me an XL baseball shirt to wear back, but I still had on my knee socks, plaid skirt, heels, and a mixture of my own makeup plus zombie makeup all over my face.

The cab dropped me off in front of my dorm… and I emerged into a huge CAMPUS TOUR for prospective students. I wanted to die.

Sounds Like It’s Soul-Searching Time

, , , | Romantic | October 27, 2022

One of my friends was obviously feeling rather down, so a group of us decided to get together and have a day together to cheer her up. It seemed to be working, and we were having a great time. Then, the topic of conversation shifted to how she and her boyfriend were doing.

Immediately, several red flags started popping up. Her boyfriend was upset with her for not leaving work on no notice to hang out with him. Her boyfriend had refused to touch a meal she’d prepared specially for him and had gone and gotten a takeout burger instead. Her boyfriend had gone through her closet and thrown out several of her clothes items that he didn’t like.

It went on and on. We, as a group, quickly started assuring our friend that that wasn’t normal and that his behavior was what was wrong, not her. We shared what a good relationship should be like, and we encouraged her to either sit down to have a serious talk about boundaries or simply to move on from him and find someone who would treat her right.

She did end up breaking up with him, and is much, much happier now.

While we were having that discussion, another friend got very quiet and was visibily rather upset. She ended up leaving without saying a word to the rest of us. At the time, I just thought she was upset for our friend.

However, after talking with some other mutual friends, I found out that she was actually offended at us for describing the boyfriend’s behavior as wrong, because it very closely mirrored how she treated her own boyfriend, and she was upset that we were indirectly calling her a bad person for acting that way.

Sadly, her response to this was to choose to minimize contact with us until we apologized for offending her rather than taking it as a wake-up call and actually improving her behavior.