That Definition Is Tight

, , , , , | Working | October 18, 2017

Coworker #1: *reading an article about American Football player Rob Gronkowski* “‘It’s looking like a very Merry Gronkmas. New England Patriots tight end debuted a new ugly sweater that features a photo of him spiking a Christmas present.’ Apparently there’s a contest where you can win a dinner with him and a surprise guest, plus a bunch of signed memorabilia.”

Coworker #2: “I don’t care about the memorabilia; I’d just take the dinner with him. He’s hot.”

(The conversation continues about Gronkowski and football. A few minutes later…)

Me: “Wait… is ‘tight end’ a football term?”

(Everyone laughs.)

Coworker #1: “Yes, it’s a hybrid position, like a wide receiver.”

Me: “Oh, I was thinking they were talking about Gronk’s ‘tight end.’”

Coworker #2: “Well, that’s a good description, too.”

It Is Possible To Not Like Sports

, , , , , | Working | October 11, 2017

(I am checking out at a grocery store the morning of a big football game.)

Cashier: “You’re not wearing your [Team] gear!”

Me: “Well, I’d have to own some. And care.”

Cashier: *shock*

Bolting To The Answers

, , , | Learning | August 17, 2017

(I participate in a quiz competition in a group of four. We win by the highest margin with only one incorrect answer out of about 60 or so. This happens during the last round of ‘Rapid Fire’ where a person is chosen as a representative from each team and has to answer 10 questions in a minute.)

Quiz Master: “Name the fastest two-legged animal on the planet.”

Me: “Usain Bolt.”

(Yeah, not my greatest moment.)

Blame Canada!

, , , , , | Working | June 7, 2017

(I recently moved to Canada from the UK and am still adjusting to some Canadian quirks.)

Me: “[Coworker], where’s the manager? A guest wants a refund.”

Coworker: “He’s in [Popular Electronic Store] watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.”

Me: “So watching the playoffs is more important than doing his job?”

Coworker: “Welcome to Canada!”

Canadien Kindness

, | Montreal, QC, Canada | Hopeless | May 9, 2017

I am a huge fan of the Montreal Canadiens and decided to make the journey to Montreal from where I live in Nova Scotia. Friends that I have aren’t really big into hockey so I, a female, take the trip to the games by myself. My first solo travel. My family are all generally pretty worried as I have a terrible sense of direction and are positive I’ll get lost and they’ll never hear from me again.

For the first two days I am fine; I don’t even use my GPS. I just wander the streets of Montreal and attend a game in the afternoon and check out restaurants, cafes, and bars at night with no issues. Before heading to the game against the Edmonton Oilers on Sunday I go out for breakfast and figure I’ll wander around the city for a bit before the game, but get in early so I can have a proper look around the Bell Centre without too many people there.

When I get to the Bell Centre I see people lined up and join them in the line, because I assume it is how to get in. It is just a different spot than I went in the day before. I start chatting with the people in the line up behind me and they have traveled as a family from NB to see the games. We finally get to the front of the line and I realize it is a restaurant. I have zero intention of going to eat again as I had just come from breakfast but don’t want the people I am in line with knowing that I am in the completely the wrong place, so I was going to have a drink and then go into the arena. This family doesn’t want me sitting alone so they invite me to sit with them. It is fantastic just talking to new people, sharing our love of the game. I must have not been paying attention when the waitress comes around asking how to split the bills because my bill was fully taken care of by this family.

It may not have been much to them, or they might not have even thought of it, but to me it was my favorite moment of my trip. I love the Canadiens, and watched some of the greatest players in the NHL today that weekend (Ovhekin/McDavid) but having this family take me in like I was one of their own will stay with me longer than those games will.

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