“Ignore It Until It Goes Away” Doesn’t Work With Everything

, , , , | Healthy | June 17, 2021

I have mild chronic gastritis. I also have a slight deformation on my hip so I often feel pain in my lower back and hip. The pain I feel from those two conditions can be bad, but thankfully not often. I also have a high pain threshold because of them.

One day in late November, I started feeling discomfort in my stomach but I couldn’t really pinpoint where exactly. I disregarded it as just one of my two issues, so I started taking my usual medicine and kept an eye on my diet. The pain came and went for a full month. I didn’t really think about it since I was busy with a project and I had already bought a concert ticket. Project ended, concert attended, and the pain still lingered.

Finally, on New Year’s Eve, the pain was unbearable, so I told my sister who’s a doctor. She came by and did a quick check.

Sister: “Pack your bag, and I’ll call our parents to take you to the ER.”

It turned out that I had a swollen appendix. It was only hours away from rupturing. I ended up having to watch the New Year’s Eve fireworks through a hospital window, with an IV drip and some stitches on my tummy.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a reminder to never ignore any pain you feel in your body.

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Poison Oak Is Natural But It Still Itches Like Crazy!

, , , , | Healthy | June 13, 2021

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

 

A few years ago, my wife experimented with a certain brand of mycoprotein-based products. The first time we ate some, I became ill with vomiting and stomach cramps. I foolishly assumed that these were caused by something else, but the second time we ate some, it happened again and we very quickly realised I was sensitive to mycoprotein-based products, a phenomenon which is pretty well documented.

About nine months ago, I saw a Facebook advert for this particular brand and commented, saying that while I thought this product was a great idea, regrettably, I was sensitive to mycoprotein-based products so would have to avoid eating them.

Then, I got THIS reply from a random Facebook user I don’t even know.

Stranger: “Well, you’re clearly an idiot, then. You can’t get ill from [product]. It’s natural. NATURAL PRODUCTS DON’T MAKE YOU ILL!”

I didn’t have the heart to point out to her that latex, peanuts, kiwi fruit, and eggs are all-natural and can ALL trigger serious allergic reactions.

Like I say, this phenomenon is pretty well documented, and in some cases, people have eaten mycoprotein and ended up in ICU! I’m not really sure what this woman on Facebook was thinking.

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Masked By Corporate Reasoning

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2021

I live in an area where masks are a touchy topic. The majority of people don’t like them, and we don’t have a mask mandate, but I deliver groceries and most of my customers are elderly, so I wear mine. This is apparently a problematic decision.

Customer #1: “Why are you wearing your mask? Do you think I’m diseased or something?”

For my next delivery, I leave my mask on my chin and decide I’ll pull it up if needed.

Customer #2: *In an ‘Are you stupid?’ tone* “What’s the point in the mask if you’re leaving it down?”

Fair point. I put it on for my next delivery.

Customer #3: “Are you really wearing a mask just so you can hand me my stuff?”

Me: *Pauses* “Well, we don’t have uniforms, so this is the only thing I have with the logo on it. I’m just wearing it so people know I’m with [Delivery Service] and not a stranger on your porch.”

Customer #3: “Oh, you’re right! Thank you!”

I have finally found something that pleases everyone!

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Babies Are Magical, No Matter Where They Come From

, , , , , | Related | June 10, 2021

My parents are both female. For pretty much my entire childhood, I never questioned how two women could produce a child. I just assumed it was possible. Then, when I was ten, we had sex education in school, and I learned that two women couldn’t have babies.

So, the question was, whose daughter was I?

[Mom #1] was blonde and I had blonde hair, but everyone agreed I really looked like [Mom #2], and I had seen pictures of her pregnant.

I got really excited about the idea that my parents were magicians and somehow magically conceived and birthed me. So, I excitedly went home and eagerly asked my moms how they did it.

It turns out the sperm used to impregnate [Mom #2] came from [Mom #1]’s brother.

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Smiles For Miles!

, , , , , | Friendly | June 10, 2021

My wife and I race grass track sidecars in our spare time. We are getting our bike ready the morning of an event when we are approached by a man and woman with a child.

Man: “Hi. We don’t want to bother you, but would it be possible for our son to have a sit on your bike? He’s going through chemotherapy right now and could do with a smile.”

Me: “If I can get permission and it’s okay with you, I can do one better and have him come out with us on the parade lap if he wants?”

The boy’s eyes go as wide as dinner plates and his smile’s not much smaller as he looks at his parents expectedly.

Woman: “I think that’s a yes, then.” *Laughs*

I went to check that it was okay with the right people and came back with the good news. I also told them I’d arranged a surprise during the presentations afterward. They thanked me and left until it was time for the parade lap. When it came to the presentations, the boy was asked to come up onto the podium and help hand out the trophies, prize money, etc.

I often see the family when we are at events in the area and the boy is now all clear and healthy.

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