Their Reasoning Is Crap

, , , , , | Right | April 11, 2021

I’m at a chicken restaurant. A lady a couple of tables down from mine places her baby up on the table, obviously about to change their diaper right there on the tabletop. An employee quickly hurries up before the lady can actually get started.

Employee: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask that you do that in the bathroom.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s fine. We’re all done eating.”

Employee: *Sounding really strained* “Yes, but people will be using the table after you.”

At that, the woman gave the employee a glare, scooped up her kid, and stomped off, I guess toward the restroom. Meanwhile, her group at the table looked shocked, like they’d never considered the idea that other people would be using the table after they were done with it.

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“Back To School” Is Getting Stranger By The Minute

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: FinancialElephant5 | April 11, 2021

I live in a decent-sized college town, I work in a hotel while I go to the college. To be straight, my college is run by a bunch of idiots who aren’t handling the health crisis correctly. My mom actually has to send in an anonymous tip to the sheriff department because the number of crowds forming without masks on is ridiculous. I can’t go to school anymore because it gets so bad. The school is allowing large gatherings and lets fraternities and sororities throw massive parties.

Five dorms have to go under lockdown and the frats and sororities are also locked down.

This phone call I got from my college made me rethink my whole life. The call is from a woman that works for the college.

Me: “[Hotel].”

Woman: “Yes, how many rooms do you have?”

Me: “Eighty-nine.”

Woman: “I would like to book all of those for fourteen days, starting January fifth.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I cannot book all of those rooms because there are people staying in house for work. That would make me force them all out.”

Woman: “I need those rooms! We have to quarantine all returning students that have tested positive for [illness] and they cannot step back onto campus unless they have been quarantined for fourteen days.”

Me: “Wh… You’re… trying to house [illness]-positive students from out of state?”

Woman: “Yes, before the upcoming spring semester.”

Me: “If that is the case, then I am going to have to deny the booking of these rooms for safety and health reasons.”

Woman: “What do you mean, ‘deny’?!”

Me: “You are bringing a herd of college students that have tested positive for [illness], college kids who will more than likely not follow [illness] restrictions and guidelines and leave their rooms. It is a safety and health issue for the staff and all who enter.”


Me: “Okay, that is fine and their decision, but I will not book these rooms for you.”


Me: “You may call back tomorrow when they will be in, but they will tell you the exact same thing I have told you just now.”

Woman: “These kids need somewhere to stay to get healthy and you’re going to deny them? I know your business needs the money!”

Me: “Then they need to stay where they are before returning to campus and get a negative [illness] test, like the policy stated during the last semester of school.”

The woman hung up. I returned for my shift this morning to find a note from management stating, “If anybody calls and asks to book all of our rooms to house [illness]-positive people, tell them no and that you are the manager. We need to keep ourselves and our families safe!”

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We. Gave You. A List!

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 8, 2021

I live in a shared house with some friends. It works pretty well; we take turns and pitch in for most things. One of those is the cooking; we all contribute money and take turns cooking, apart from [Friend #1], who prefers to eat her own food.

This week, it’s [Friend #2]’s turn to cook. I check the plan in the kitchen to see what he’s making tonight and see something odd.

Me: “Hey, [Friend #2], what’s this you’re cooking tonight?”

Friend #2: “Oh, I’m not cooking tonight. [Friend #1] wanted a turn.”

Me: “[Friend #1]? Is she going to start eating with us now?”

Friend #2: “No, she wanted us to try some recipe from her country.”

Me: “Oh, okay. You told her what she can’t use, yeah?”

Friend #2: “I gave her the list, yeah.”

We have a DO NOT USE list of everything we are all allergic to or don’t like. It’s pretty long, so we don’t get to try many new meals, but it’s really important.

I am looking forward to what she will come up with. [Friend #1] serves up dinner and the leftovers for those still at work. It looks great, but something smells unpleasant to me. We eat and it’s bugging me.

Me: “This is great, but I can’t put my finger on what I can taste. Is it leek?”

Friend #1: “No.”

Me: “Fennel?”

Friend #1: “No.”

Me: “It’s not onion, is it?!”

Friend #1: “Yes! It was on the list so I cut it up really small and didn’t put as much in. But it wouldn’t taste the same without it.”

Me: “You can’t use anything on the list, no matter how small you cut it up! [Friend #3] is allergic!”

Friend #1: “I didn’t even put that much in. I don’t know why you’re making so much fuss.”

Me: “I’m making a fuss, because you ignored something to protect your friends. It’s a good job she’s not here.”

Friend #2: “I’ll throw [Friend #3]’s in the bin, just in case.”

Friend #1: “No, don’t throw it away. Really, it is only a little bit. She can pick it out if it’s that big of a deal.”

We were all in shock, especially as we all saw how poorly onions had made [Friend #3] just the year before. It got heated, and [Friend #1] stormed off, accusing us of “bullying” her and threatening to leave the house. Thankfully, we had enough food that night that there was something for [Friend #3] to eat, and we didn’t let [Friend #1] near our food again.

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Fresh Tomatoes Are Really Exciting

, , , , , , , | Healthy | April 8, 2021

Many years ago, I was shopping in a Canadian grocery store. As I wandered down the veg aisle, a lady in front of me started making weird, guttural noises. Then, her knees went all funny and I leapt in, caught her, and helped her to a bench.

Her face was red and she was sweating and, having just finished my first ever first aid course, I was sure she was having a seizure, so I checked her pulse — rapid — and prepared to call her an ambulance. But as I went to rush off, she grabbed my sleeve and told me not to.

I tried to explain that she was having a seizure and that she needed help.

I. Was. Wrong.

And this woman was so embarrassed that she accidentally told me the truth.

A friend of hers had given her something called a “love egg” and told her that it would give her a mild “happy” while she did the groceries. Instead, she went full O-face in the salad aisle. That explained the noises she was trying to suppress and that was why her knees had failed.

I was barely twenty at the time and had no idea what to do so I got her a glass of water and legged it. I hope that she learned from this experience, but I’m also kind of jealous; I mean, I have never once, in all my years, enjoyed a shopping trip that much.

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The Well-Behaved Child Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree

, , , , , | Related | CREDIT: LoneWolfWi13 | April 6, 2021

My grandmother (and my mother) are both extremely strict about not being interrupted while on the phone.

One year while visiting my grandmother, I decide to climb a large tree in her yard. I don’t know how high it is, but I am almost to the top. Now, being eleven, I naturally climb onto a dead branch, and it snaps.

I fall, plummeting to the ground. As soon as I realize I’m alive, I notice that I can’t quite move my left arm.

Me: *To my brother* “Go inside and tell Grandmother!”

My brother has Asperger’s and is a couple of years younger than me. He goes into the house, sits down, and waits. I’m sure it’s only a few minutes, but for me, it seems like an eternity.

Finally, my grandmother hangs up the phone.

Grandmother: “What’s the matter?”

Brother: “[My Name] fell out of a tree.”

At the hospital, a nurse asks me about the details. I tell them I lay there on the ground for a while after I fell.

Nurse: “Why?”

Brother: “I had to wait until Grandmother got off the phone to tell her about it.”

My grandmother had to explain to them what was going on. I do remember a social worker ushering them out of the room and asking some questions. After that, both Grandmother and Mother explained to us that if it’s an emergency, we need to tell them right away.

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