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Doctors, nurses, and staying healthy

Scheduling Games

, , , | Healthy Working | May 27, 2022

I went to a doctor for a consult, and then I scheduled the next two appointments for Tuesdays at 4:30 pm. I didn’t ask specifically for evening appointments; that’s what they offered me. I got no confirmation calls for any of the appointments.

The first Tuesday, everything went fine. I checked in, got my treatment, and went home.

The next Tuesday, I attempted to check in… only to be told my appointment was at 3:00 pm, not 4:30 pm.

Receptionist: “We never start treatments this late, so we never would’ve scheduled me at 4:30.”

Me: “Uhh… well, you did. I was treated at 4:30 last week!”

Receptionist: “No, your appointment last week was at 3:00 pm, as well.”

Me: “Pull up my check-in and medication order from last week.”

She did, and sure enough, it had been at 4:30 pm. She just shrugged and called her manager. Basically, they told me to go home and reschedule. I live two hours away from this doctor, so I decided I wasn’t playing this game. I told them to cancel all my remaining appointments.

I hope I didn’t need to finish that treatment. I’ll never decline a written copy of my appointment time again.

YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ASLEEP!

, , , , , , | Healthy | May 27, 2022

I was a bit of a nightmare patient as a kid. It would take four grown adults to hold me down to get a shot or blood draw.

Then, there was the time I needed my appendix removed and I wasn’t having it. They gave me an anesthetic to knock me out… and I actually FOUGHT IT OFF and refused to go to sleep until the effects finally wore off.

My dad said the doctor told him that in thirty-three years of practicing medicine, he’d never seen someone completely resist an anesthetic.

Thanks So Much For The No-Show

, , , , , | Healthy Working | May 26, 2022

I saw my dentist last June for a checkup on a Saturday morning. They scheduled the next appointment for a Saturday morning in December. I got three different texts and emails the week before confirming my appointment.

I showed up about ten minutes before my appointment to find the door unlocked and the office completely empty. I tried the emergency on-call number. No one responded. I finally called the police because I didn’t want to leave the office empty and unlocked.

It turned out they had stopped doing Saturday office hours, and they didn’t bother to call me and reschedule. Monday morning they called me because, in their words, I didn’t show up for my appointment. I told them no, I was there; they weren’t.

They couldn’t get me in for an appointment in December before my deductible reset. In fact, they couldn’t find another time that worked for me until August.

I’ll be seeing a new dentist next month.

If It Makes You Feel Any Better, He’s Probably Heard That Before

, , , , , | Healthy Working | May 25, 2022

I was a nurse in a hospital. I had a patient and his name was Mr. [Patient] Comdon. I was explaining his discharge instructions, and before I walked out I said:

Me: “It was a pleasure, Mr. Condom.”

Then, I realized what I said. Neither one of us said a word, and I just walked away as fast as I could.

You Can’t Say You Weren’t Warned

, , , , , | Healthy | May 23, 2022

I’m in hospital for a minor operation. The letter for the appointment asks you to arrive at a specific time and makes it clear that they ask a batch of people to arrive at the same time, and then they see them one by one.

As I go in to be seen, I pass a guy getting stroppy with one of the nurses.

Guy: “I’ve been waiting an hour! When am I going to be seen?”

Nurse: “There are currently three people ahead of you in the queue, but it depends on how long their procedures take.”

Guy: “Can’t I go outside for a smoke?”

Nurse: “You can, but if you aren’t here when we call your name, you will have to go to the bottom of the list.”

A couple of hours later, I’m all done and on my way out, and I pass the same guy again.

Guy: “What do you mean, I’m at the bottom of the list?!”