Sounds Like They’ve Had Too Many Already

, , , , , | Right | January 18, 2018

(I am sitting at bar in restaurant and lady walks up and orders a “Virgin Screwdriver,” which makes me snort.)

Customer: *turning to me* “What?”

Me: “You could have just ordered an orange juice.”

Customer: “I don’t want an orange juice. I want a Virgin Screwdriver.”

Bartender: “A Virgin Screwdriver is orange juice.”

Customer: “No, it’s not; it’s a Screwdriver without alcohol.”

Bartender: “A Screwdriver is just orange juice and tequila or vodka. If I take out the tequila—”

Customer: *interrupts* “I don’t want you to take out the tequila. You’re supposed to leave it in. Just take out the alcohol.”

(The debate continued for a bit longer before the lady decided on a normal Tequila Screwdriver and told the bartender:)

Customer: “But if I get in a wreck because I’m drunk, it’s your fault!”

No JD For This DJ

, , , , , , | Working | January 12, 2018

(We are at a local town hall for a New Year’s party. The DJ comes in and starts to get all set up. He looks and acts frustrated. From the sounds of it this was a last minute thing his boss tossed his way. He grumbles and groans but gets set up fairly quickly. He grabs the mic.)

DJ: “Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Everyone hear me?”

(We cheer and holler.)

DJ: “Okay, folks, let’s get this party started; the more you drink the more fun we have!”

(There was dead silence. One of the party coordinators ran up to him and whispered something to let him know that this was an Alcoholics Anonymous party. There was no alcohol. The DJ did apologize, and then ran outside, cell phone in hand. Those near the door could hear him yelling at someone on the phone for not telling him it was an AA party. The rest of the night went smoothly and we all had fun.)

A Sickening Amount Of Fraud

, , , , , | Right | December 26, 2017

(An obviously drunk woman comes up with a paper bag, swaying.)

Woman: “I have… a reservation. [Woman].”

Me: “Okay, can I see the credit card that will be used?”

(She brings the bag up to her nose and THROWS UP in it. My stomach churns and I back off a bit.)

Woman: “My daddy called and said that he was going to pay for it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you a room unless I swipe the card.”

Woman: “Why?” *throws up some more*

Me: “It’s the rules.”

Woman: “Can’t you just make an exception for once? I’m sick and everything! Don’t you people have a heart?!”

Me: “No, sorry. It’s to prevent credit card fraud.”

Woman: “Fine!”

(She turned and stumbled away, hopped in her car, and drove off… straight into a street lamp! The cops were called and she was arrested. I wonder if her daddy bailed her out?)

You Have To Have A Lot Of Bottle To Act Like That

, , , , | Working | November 15, 2017

(I’m the bride in this story. For our reception we have purchased and provided all of the alcohol, in order to have an open bar, and hired a bartender to serve it. Because we purchased it, the alcohol is ours to do with as we please, and that means taking home any left over at the end of the night. Partway through the reception, I decide to change out of my wedding dress into something simpler — still a fancy white dress, just shorter and easier to dance in. My hair is still all done up, etc. Near the end of the night I approach the bar and order a drink, and I decide to see how our stock is doing since we were unsure how much to buy to accommodate the length of the event and our large guest list.)

Me: “So, how are things going? How much rum and vodka are left? Did we go through all the wine?”

Bartender: *giving me a once-over with a look of disdain on her face* “You do not need to know how much alcohol there is. It’s not your concern.”

(I am stunned but don’t want to have any drama on my wedding night, so I just shrug and go back to the party. At the end of the night there are just a few of us cleaning up, and one of my cousins comments on how much he loves one of the wines we were serving.)

Me: *handing my cousin an unopened bottle of the wine* “Here, take this bottle, then; there’s some left over and we don’t need it all!”

Cousin: “Thanks!”

(He takes it, only for the bartender to snatch it back and tell him he can’t just take leftover alcohol. I am a bit annoyed at this point.)

Me: “Actually, all of the alcohol was paid for and supplied by us, so if I want to give him this bottle to take home, I will.”

(The bartender sort of froze and stared at me before one of her coworkers pulled her away. She ended up apologizing profusely to me; apparently she didn’t recognize me out of my wedding dress. She thought I was a guest fishing around for alcohol to take home, despite the fact that she met with us more than once prior to the wedding and I was still in a fancy white dress!)

That’s A Foreign Concept To Me

, , , , | Working | November 8, 2017

(I am part of a group of Belgian university students on a weekend trip to Dublin. We are aged between 18 and 25. One evening we’re on our way back to our hostel when we stop at a nearby supermarket to buy some snacks and drinks. The store only has self check-out computers and no regular registers. In Belgium, it’s quite unusual to get asked to show an ID when buying alcohol, so we don’t realise that our drinks don’t scan properly. An employee notices and comes up to us.)

Employee: “Can you show me an ID, please? The computer won’t allow you to scan alcohol without your age being checked first.”

(All of us start searching our wallets for ID cards. One of us hands over hers and the employee takes it to his computer. A minute later he returns.)

Employee: “I’m afraid I can’t accept your ID. You won’t be able to buy any alcohol here.”

Student: “But I’m twenty-five!”

Employee: “I know, but our computer only recognises Irish and British IDs. We are not allowed to accept any others.”

Student: “So, you can’t sell alcohol to tourists?”

Employee: “Not unless they hold an Irish or British ID.”

(We pay for the snacks and go searching for a store that will sell us alcohol, which we find quite easily. The employee in this story was very correct, and I understand that policies are in place to prevent under-aged people from buying alcohol. To me, a policy banning foreigners from buying as well seems to go a bit far, though.)

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