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This Transaction Has Hit The Rocks

, , , , , , , | Right | November 18, 2022

I work as a night supervisor at a grocery store. It’s early afternoon when I oversee one of our newer cashiers having issues with a customer.

The man is maybe in his forties and almost definitely not sober. He is buying a single can of beer, which runs just over two dollars. The cashier gives him his total, and he hands her two dollar bills.

Cashier: “Do you have any change? I need a little more.”

The man digs around in his pocket for a moment and pulls out a handful of rocks, putting them down on the counter. The cashier is startled, but the man just makes a noise and digs around in his pocket some more, pulling out… more rocks, and like four coins mixed in. He sets this down on the counter, too. The cashier hesitantly digs through the rocks for a quarter and hands the man his change and his beer. He swipes at the rocks, getting most of them, shoves them back in his pocket, and leaves, leaving a small pile of rocks behind.

A few hours later, a customer comes in and asks for a supervisor. The other supervisor on shift comes over, as I am about to cover the cashier’s break, although I can still hear the conversation.

Customer: “Yeah, there’s a man in your parking lot yelling some really obscene things. I wanted you to be aware. It’s your call whether you do something about it, though.”

My coworker goes outside to check and then comes in and reports a man standing on the sidewalk — public property. He is yelling mostly nonsense, maybe some rude things mixed in. My coworker phones the non-emergency police line and gives a basic description of the issue.

Eventually, they send someone down to shoo the man away, or he leaves on his own.

Later, around 7:30, a man comes in and asks to use the phone. It takes me a few minutes to recognize him as the man with the rocks from earlier. He is still definitely not sober, and it’s a bit difficult to understand him. He is also, inexplicably, carrying a stack of signs from a drugstore across the street — the long, thin, almost laminate things that get attached to the shelves.

I eventually get that he wants to call a detox/rehab service for some reason, but he doesn’t know their number or their name, just vaguely where they are. I pull out my phone to look it up as he keeps rambling.

Me: “Is it [Detox Company]? Does that sound familiar?”

Rock Man: “I don’t know. I guess.”

Me: “Okay, here’s the number. You can use the phone right here.”

I point to the customer service desk.

Rock Man: “Well, it won’t do any good to call them; I still got my cigarettes. They won’t let me in with my cigarettes. Can I call my mom, instead?”

Me: “Er, sure. You can use the phone and call whoever you need.”

I leave him to his calls and come back a few minutes later to check on him.

Rock Man: “My mom didn’t answer… Wait, what day is it?”

Me: “It’s Sunday, sir.”

Rock Man: “D***, she’s probably at church.”

It is almost 8:00 pm at this point.

Rock Man: “What time do you guys close?”

Me: “Not until 10:00.”

The man dithers around a bit more, mumbling.

Me: “Let me know if you need anything else, okay? Feel free to use the phone again.”

I leave and find my other supervisor.

Supervisor: “You know, that’s the guy who I had to call the police on earlier. He seemed much nicer inside.”

Me: “I didn’t know that, actually. I did, however, know that that’s the dude who paid us with rocks earlier, so that’s cool.”

The man left a few minutes later without further incident. Hopefully, he got where he needed to be.

I did find the stack of signs for the drugstore left outside on a patio table when I did my check at closing.

Wait Until They Find Out It Doesn’t Contain Actual Moon

, , , , , | Right | October 31, 2022

Guest: “Let me get a Blue Moon.”

I get him his beer. A minute later:

Guest: “Ain’t this s*** supposed to come blue?”

Disgruntled Teenagers Are Just A Part Of Life

, , , , , | Working | October 31, 2022

I am a cashier. My manager recently told me this.

Manager: “I want you to stop asking for ID when selling alcohol. It’s confrontational.”

I ended up getting fired for “being too confrontational” because I’m not picking up charges because he doesn’t wanna hear complaints from teenagers.

Should Have Gone With Another Leap

, , , , , | Right | October 28, 2022

One of my first jobs is at a liquor store. I’m behind the counter and a young man comes up with a couple of bottles of booze. I ask for his ID and he shows it to me.

Me: “I’m sorry, but this ID is fake. I can’t let you have these.”

I put the bottles he was trying to buy behind the counter.

Customer: “What do you mean, you can’t let me have them? That’s my ID. It isn’t fake.”

Me: “It clearly is. Sorry, no booze for you.”

Customer: “How dare you—”

Me: “Shut up and get out of here before I call the cops.”

The young man scowls and storms off.

After my shift, I’m talking to my boss as I get ready to leave.

Me: “Yeah, the ID was just about perfect — best fake I’ve ever seen — and I would have believed it was real… except that I know you can’t be born on November 31st.”

Malicious Protection

, , , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Tacticool_Hotdog | October 24, 2022

I work as a train conductor for [Company] in Finland. My job includes making sure there are no disturbances on the train, as well as keeping an eye on everyone having tickets. I am usually pretty lenient on this if you have a good reason or a funny enough excuse. Hey, sometimes life kicks you in the head and you really, really have to be somewhere.

I am doing ticket rounds on a late-evening train. Out of the corner of my eye, I see two teenagers, maybe fifteen or sixteen, switch seats. That’s okay, and I think no more of that… until a few minutes later when I come to their compartment in order to check their tickets and hear their particular excuse. There are six teenagers in total. Every single one of them is pretending to be asleep. People try this every now and then, but this is the first time I’ve seen someone try it after making eye contact.

I just kind of chuckle and say, “Nice try,” loud enough for the rest of the compartment to hear. The teenagers feign ignorance and say they were trying to catch a bit of sleep. I also notice that they’re carrying alcohol with them. They’re off to a bad start. I ask for the tickets. This is when I hear a myriad of excuses.

[Friend]’s mom has the tickets. Nobody has a working phone on them. When they get the battery charged, [Friend]’s mom doesn’t care and hangs up. They actually went the wrong way first.

You get the point by now.

They finally drop the act and start pleading for a free ride. They even try to bribe me with 10€, to which I reply:

Me: “The next time you try to bribe someone, here’s a little heads-up: don’t do it in front of a dozen witnesses.”

The other passengers are having a blast so far.

In a last-ditch effort, the teenagers bring up the fact that they are, in fact, underage and I am technically in charge of keeping them safe. Here’s the thing: I have to be really careful now because, the law being what it is, I could be held accountable if I drop them off somewhere without supervision and something happens to them.

Here comes the malicious compliance. I finally “relent”.

Me: “I’ll let you go as far as the next station where you can still buy tickets with that bit of cash you have.”

Then, I leave and continue to do my job. Now, as I have to keep them safe, I am naturally worried about underage drinking on their part, as well. That stuff rots the brain and hinders the development of these beautiful young children! So, I arrange for security and police to meet them at the next station.

As they jump off the train, I hear one of the teenagers say:

Teenager: “Man, we really managed to bulls*** that one!”

Naturally, I directed the impressive amount of nothing-better-to-do-right-now security and police officers to the teenagers. I’ve never seen anyone get as pure of an “Oh, s***!” expression as those kids right then.

Their drinks were confiscated and destroyed, and each of them was shipped home to have a meeting with their guardians, the police, and possibly even Child Protective Services if this was a recurring problem. Fines could be slapped, as well.

Moral(s) of the story: Be honest. And under no circumstance tell me to keep you safe, because I will keep you safe.