Driving Home The Point

, , , , | Working | June 6, 2017

(I, my aunt, and a family friend all carpool out to eat at a restaurant that usually provides good service and great food. Our friend orders a glass of wine.)

Waitress: “Here’s your wine. You’re not driving tonight, are you?”

Friend: “Oh, no, we all came in one car and I’m not the driver. No worries, dear!”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(We figure that’s the end of it, but then we get our meals.)

Friend: “That glass of wine was so good! Could I get another one, please?”

Waitress: “Oooookay, but that’s your last one for the night, okay?”

(Our friend looks upset, so at this point I decide to step in.)

Me: “[Waitress], I really appreciate what you’re doing here; drunk driving is a serious issue. However, as we’ve already told you, she is not the driver tonight, so please just get her what she asks.”

Waitress: “Hey. You drink, you drive, you lose!”

Me: “She’s not driving! Listen to us! We all came in one car and it’s her–” *point to my aunt* “–that’s driving us all home. No one at this table is getting behind any wheel after drinking alcohol, okay?”

(The waitress wordlessly walked away, but our friend still looked a little embarrassed. We reassured her that she was fine and decided not to push the issue with a manager. After we paid and left, I glanced behind us as we were getting in the car and saw the same waitress watching us all get in to make sure our friend wasn’t driving! I just shook my head and decided not to upset our friend any more by telling her.)

Acting Like A Child

, , , , | Right | June 3, 2017

Me: “Sir, you can’t take drinks into the child’s play area.”

Patron: “Why not?! My table is just through there.”

Me: “Because it is a children’s play area.”

(The man then downed the entire cocktail pitcher and staggered through the play area before I could say another word.)

Advocating Alcoholic Desserts

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am buying drinks for Christmas with a friend. I pick up a bottle of Advocaat.)

Friend: “I’ve never had that. What’s it like?”

Me: “Pretty much just tastes like alcoholic custard.”

Customer: *laughing* “That’s brilliant! Does that mean I can put it on my dessert?”

Purple Raises Some Red Flags

, , , , , | Right | May 29, 2017

Customer: “I am looking for a [Type] wine I tried the other day.”

Associate: “Was it red or white?”

Customer: “It was purple, dumb-a**.”