I used to work in property rentals, and I recall a rather heated discussion with the parent of a student.

Keeping things brief, I submitted a relatively modest claim (on the owner’s behalf) against the deposit for cleaning. They hadn’t trashed the place, but it was abundantly clear (with photographic evidence before/after I might add) that the three student occupants had done NO cleaning at pretty much any point during their ten-month tenancy.

The dust was literally THICK on surfaces. Again, not wrecked, but neither ‘as they found it’ nor good enough for the next tenants.

Anyway, back to the parent; I explain to her:

Me: “I’ve submitted a claim against the deposit.”

Parent: “The place was not left in such a condition!”

After giving her the photographic evidence, she moves the goal posts:

Parent: “We cleaned the property, but the dirt came back!”

Me: “The amount of dust and dirt in some places was literally palpable, and, as above, this would take a minimum of two-to-three months to even START to accrue. No cleaning had even been attempted and the claim will be submitted against the deposit.”

This is a claim which, incidentally, was entirely free for independent arbitration as per UK deposit laws.

The parent then proceeds to start ranting and raving at me of all the injustices her daughter had faced living in such a ‘squalid’ property. This continues for around three minutes with me, admittedly not entirely well-mannered, listening on the other end of the phone.

Eventually, I try to interject, and she interrupts me at EVERY given opportunity. In the end I say:

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but this is no longer a conversation, it’s a monologue. I’ve stated our position and will email you with details on how to appeal this should you wish. The process is free and if you feel so adamant that your position is correct, they will award you the money. Good day.”

She calls back, again, going nuts, and I simply repeat this and hang up.

Four weeks later, no appeal was lodged, and the amount I won was the claim by default. I knew they simply did this as it was the only bit of spite they had left (making it take as long as possible due to legal requirements).

Still, I was happy having defeated a person who thought they could simply shout over any problem.

Customer: “I’m so happy you had this sauce! I was looking everywhere for it!”

Me: “Oh, I’m usually pretty good at knowing what we have in stock, but I’ve never seen this one. What’s it for?” 

Customer: “It’s used for Puerto Rican food. It’s a very special and unique flavor that you can’t really get from anything else. I love that your store sells it.”

Me: “I’m really happy we had it for you! I’ve never had Puerto Rican food, but I’ll look up this sauce later and see what it goes well with.” 

They check out, and I continue with my shift as normal. About three hours later, I see the customer back at my checkout lane.

Customer: “Oh, good! You’re still here! I was worried your shift might have ended!”

Me: “Is everything okay?”

They hand over some Tupperware containing what looks like many different types of food.

Customer: “I was telling my mom about the cashier who’d never had Puerto Rican food, and I swear you could’ve heard her gasp from here. She cooked up a little bit of everything and made me run back over here for you to try some.”

Me: “Oh, my! That’s so nice of you! And her! Thank you so much!”

Customer: “I’ll be back next week for your opinion!” 

Me: “And the Tupperware!” 

Customer: “Nah, it’s okay. Mom never expects to get those back.”

Not only was the food delicious, but I tried it with the sauce from my store, and it really enhanced it! I still returned the Tupperware the next week (I had it on me for every shift just in case), and it’s a good thing I did because even more food came my way from that crazy Puerto Rican mother the following week.

I became an expert on Puerto Rican food just from sitting at my checkout lane!

A woman is checking out with her maybe three-year-old daughter.

Customer: “[Daughter], help Mommy check out.”

Normally, I am wary of this when we’re busy, as some kids are slow or don’t really know what they’re doing, but this kid is diligently handing me stuff and I am ringing it in, so I let it go. None of the other customers in line seem to be bothered.

After I give them the total, the customer starts looking through all the items left to bag.

Customer: “Oh, we’re not getting that… or this candy, either… or this toy. Oh, not that, either…”

After it has become apparent that this kid has been chucking anything she fancies into the cart, the mother then turns on me in a wild personality change.

Customer: “D***, B****! DO YOU SCAN ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES YOU?!”

I can do a personality change of my own.

Me: “Yes, b****, because that is literally my job! If you don’t want something, you tell me before I scan it.”

We cleared all the items she didn’t want, and the kid started throwing a tantrum seeing all her spoils taken away, delaying things further.

I used to work at an outdoor education program that involves middle schools bringing their students to stay overnight for three to five days. One week, we had a slightly more affluent group, and one of the girls was having a birthday during the week. This happens all the time, so we’ll usually sing for the kids, and their parents can pack a card and treat for them.

This girl’s dad did not find this celebratory enough. He asked the school to ask my boss if he could fly his plane over the field and drop bags of candy for the kids. The camp owner obviously said no because this was a huge safety issue and he didn’t want to get sued. The teachers told us that it would not happen.

Then, during the week, we started to hear murmurs from the teachers that maybe the dad was planning to do it anyway. My boss confronted them and they assured her that it definitely wasn’t going to happen, that they were just talking about how they would have done it if they could have. My boss was very suspicious, so on the day of the girl’s birthday, she warned us to drop off our kids with the teachers for our break and go straight back to our cabins so we wouldn’t be around and liable just in case.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, the dad flew by and started dropping trash bags full of candy out of his plane. He clearly was not well-practiced in this because the majority of the bags ended up landing in trees and getting caught there.

My boss was furious and the school was banned from ever returning. I think the camp director also tried to get the dad fined for littering because of all the trash bags in the trees, but I’m not sure if that ever went anywhere. Luckily, no kids were hurt.

A customer approaches me with his teenage daughter.

Customer: “Hi. I’m interested in getting an iPhone 11 Pro Max.”

Before I can even open my mouth to respond the daughter starts whining in a nasal voice.

Teenage Daughter: “Oh, my God! Daaaad! Why are you so cheap?! Everyone knows the iPhone 12 is out! Why are you so embarrassing?”

The customer ignores his daughter, keeping his attention on me.

Customer: “Actually, I heard you sell old recycled iPhones that you buy back from customers? What’s the oldest one of those you have in stock?”

Teenage Daughter: “Oh, my God! Daaaad! Stop it!”

Me: “I’d have to confirm, but I believe we have some iPhone 7s in the back somewhere.”

Customer: “Perfect! But please check and see if you have anything older.”

Teenage Daughter: “Daaaad!”

Customer: “[Teenager Daughter], I made it very clear in the car that I would be buying you an iPhone 11 purely on the basis of your behavior, and that even the slightest syllable of entitlement coming from your mouth would have consequences. Well, here they are. Now, I accept that we need to get you a phone so we can contact you, but one more word out of your mouth, and you’ll be calling your friends using a cup and a piece of string, understood?”

Teenage Daughter: “…”

Customer: *To his daughter* “Wonderful.” *To me* “Don’t bother with the older ones. I’ll take that iPhone 7. I’m not a monster.”