Say RIP To That Book

, , , | Right | April 9, 2021

I work in a library with a good selection of books for children. It is five minutes until we close and a woman comes in with her young girl.

Woman: “Hello. I’m looking for a copy of Little Red Riding Hood?”

Me: “We don’t have any on the shelf, but I think we have one out back that was just added.”

I go to fetch it and give it to the woman, who looks pleased with it.

Woman: “So what happens with fines?”

Me: “Well, as with any library, there are overdue fees if you bring the book back late, but you can have it for two weeks and renew it up to five times.”

Woman: “No! I mean when she rips the book!”

Me: *Taken aback* “Well, we ask our customers to please take care of the books. If the book is damaged it has to be withdrawn and the customer will need to pay the cost of the book or—”

Woman: *Interrupting* “Wait! I have to pay?! [Other Library] doesn’t do that! What does the book cost?”

Me: “£9.99.”

Woman: “Oh, I won’t bother! I’ll just buy the book myself!”

She stormed out right before I was about to tell her she can buy a replacement copy if she finds it cheaper somewhere as I was quoting the full retail price. But honestly, why not just teach your kid NOT to rip up books, or supervise her?

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Now See Here, Little Dude

, , , , | Right | April 8, 2021

I’m ringing out a man whose child is (slightly) misbehaving, and every few seconds he has to scold the boy for something new.

Customer: “[Boy], come here.”

Customer: “[Boy], don’t touch those.”

Customer: “[Boy], leave that alone.”

Customer: “[Boy], that’s not yours.”

Customer:Dude! You’re not being cool!”

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Cue Facepalm

, , , | Related | April 8, 2021

My dad is at the cell phone store trying to pay in person. The account is under my name and information. Dad calls my cell phone.

Me: “Hey, what’s up?”

Dad: “What’s your phone number?”

Me: “My phone number?”

Dad: “Yes.”

Me: “Uh… Dad…”

Dad: “Oh… I got it.”

He promptly hung up on me.

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What’s Surprising Is That He Didn’t Tell You About The Surprise

, , , , | Right | April 7, 2021

I’m scanning tickets for a small theater. A man and his young son come up to me, presenting their tickets.

Customer: “All right, this is the theater for the ocean movie, right?”

Me: “No, this is for Jurassic Park.”

He looks at his son and back to me and gets suddenly angry.

Customer: “Thanks for ruining the surprise!” *Storms into the theater*

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She’s Not Paying Jack

, , , | Right | April 6, 2021

I install car audio equipment for a large electronics retailer. A customer has purchased an auxiliary input adapter, which allows a phone or portable music player to be used with an older car radio that doesn’t have an input jack. She’s having it installed into her daughter’s car for a surprise birthday present.

When I check in the vehicle, I notice that it’s already equipped with a factory input jack, which makes her adapter unnecessary. In this vehicle, the jack is in a somewhat hidden location, so neither the customer nor her daughter knew it was there. I show it to the customer and refund what she paid for the adapter.

Me: “Would you like to go back into the store so you can pick out a different birthday present for your daughter?”

Customer: “Oh, no! I’m just going to show her the factory jack and tell her that I paid for it to be installed.”

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