Good Pizza Is Worth Talking About

, , , , | Hopeless | October 12, 2017

(I work as a hostess at a bustling Italian restaurant and bar. I have just dealt with some a**hole customers, when I see a lady waiting at the host stand. She has been waiting there for a few minutes, because I have been too busy running around to help her right away. I go to the host stand, certain that she is going to complain. She looks at me with a serious expression on her face.)

Lady: “I just had to tell you…”

(I brace myself.)

Lady: “…that that was the best pizza I have ever eaten. We had such a good time; thank you so much!”

(I was so relieved and touched that she would stand there and wait all that time just to tell me that. It really put a smile on my face.)


, , , , , | Working | October 6, 2017

My friends and I went to a pub for a meal, as the boys wanted somewhere they could also watch the football while eating. The pub had a new menu out, and I ordered a grilled halloumi salad that sounded nice, but asked for no tomatoes.

The first time the salad came out, it had lots of tomatoes, had ingredients that weren’t even in the description, and the halloumi wasn’t grilled. I sent it back, telling them what was wrong. The second time, the tomatoes were gone, to be replaced by raw onions, which I don’t like either. Again, the onions weren’t in the menu description. The halloumi still wasn’t cooked. I sent it back yet again. By this point, everyone in the table was eating and enjoying their food, and I was so hungry I was picking off their plates. The third time the salad came, the halloumi was half-cooked, and the salad consisted of leaves and a few cucumbers. I was incensed; the poor waiter could see that and offered me something else off the menu. I opted for a hunter’s chicken, which is chicken, cheese, and bacon smothered in barbeque sauce. It came with chips and salad.

It was now over an hour since we ordered. I was ready to gnaw off my hand due to hunger, everybody had finished their food, and I had work in half an hour. When my plate came, the chicken was rubbery, the bacon was half-cooked, and the chips were soggy and cold. The kicker? There were tomatoes in my salad.

His Understanding Of The Name Is A Bit Rocky

, , , , , | Right | September 26, 2017

(This takes place in a five-star hotel’s cocktail bar that people come into to show off to friends. This night, a young guy in a cheap, ill-fitting suit brings his date in. I can tell he is out of his comfort zone but still wants to put on a good show for his date.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you to drink tonight?”

Customer: “I’ll have a [sickly sweet cocktail] for the lady, and a scotch on the rocks, with ice, for me.”

Me:”…okay, sure. Scotch on the rocks.”

Customer: “With ice, please.”

Me: “…”

They Don’t Play For Your Team In This Bar

, , , , , | Romantic | September 20, 2017

(I’m at a gay sports bar. I notice one guy that I think is cute, so I go over to talk.)

Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Stranger: “Doing all right.”

Me: “Cool. Enjoying yourself?”

Stranger: “Yeah, but there are a lot of dudes here. Is there a good spot nearby to meet chicks?”

Me: *realization sets in* “You’re not from around here, are you?”

Stranger: “No. Why?”

Transitioning Away From Toxic People

, , , , , | Friendly | September 18, 2017

(I’m at a gay bar with some friends, and we’re talking to some people we’ve never met before. I’m a trans guy.)

Girl #1: “Who do we have here? [Friend #1], [Friend #2], and…” *points to me*

Me: “[My Name].”

Girl #2: “That’s a guy’s name.”

Me: “Yeah… I’m a guy. I’m trans.”

Girl #2: “That’s stupid.”

Me: “What?”

Girl #2: “You’re not trans. You’re just gay and can’t admit it, because you’ve been raised in such a homophobic world. Just admit your love for women as a lesbian.”

Me: “Uh… I’m queer. I like people: men, women, whatever. I’m not ashamed of that.”

Girl #2: “Pfft, whatever. Call me when this trans thing is over; you’re cute.”

(My friends and I are speechless as the girl leaves. The first girl watches her leave and turns to us.)

Girl #1: “So, she’s dead to me. Shall I buy the next round?”

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