Let Them Have The Last Word Of The Law

, , , | Right | August 17, 2018

(I work in a family-oriented sports bar as a bartender. As per company policy, I must ID everyone, regardless of age, and I’m required to ID even regulars. This policy causes some grumbles, but generally people are good-natured about it.)

Guest: “I’ll take [Beer].”

Me: “All right, may I see your ID, please?”

Guest: *looks at me funny* “I’m obviously over 21.”

Me: “I’m sure, but I have to ID everyone regardless.”

Guest: “No, you don’t.”

Me: “Uh… Yes, I do. The ABC people are out in full force checking for ID violations, and I don’t want to get in trouble.”

Guest: *smugly* “No, the law says if they look over 35 you don’t have to ask for ID.”

Me: “If I don’t ID everyone, I could lose my job.”

(The guest continues to ramble about the law, but eventually shows me his ID.)

Me: “Thanks.”

Guest: “You don’t have to ID, though; it’s not Tennessee law.”

(I ignored the comment for my own sanity and went about my business.)

Wisconsin And Out

, , , , , | Friendly | August 15, 2018

(My old college roommate and I are out for the evening and find ourselves in a bar mostly patronized by college kids and twenty-somethings. We are pushing 40, so we’re skewing the average age quite a bit. While I’m in line for the restroom, a young woman wearing a Wisconsin sweatshirt tries to subtly cut in at the front of the line. I can see the others looking annoyed, but no one says anything.)

Me: “Hey, Wisconsin! End of the line’s back there!”

(The other girls in line are in shock at first, and then applaud.)

Wisconsin: *sheepishly walks to end of line*

(Pretty sure for the rest of the night I was the sassy old lady in line for the restroom. It felt good to be a role model for the next generation.)

, , , , | Working | August 13, 2018

(I’m attending my friends’ beautiful outdoor wedding. They are both aware that I have certain health issues regarding various food and drink, but they have done all they could be reasonably expected to do to make sure I’m not left hungry or thirsty. The food is fantastic and the “bottle bar” — serving everything but four beers out of bottles — is varied, but their soft drink selection is limited to [soda], [diet soda], and lemonade. Limited, but it’s fine.)

Me: “Can I have a [soda], please?”

Server: “Sure.” *grabs bottle of [diet soda]*

(One of my health issues is that the artificial sweetener in various diet sodas causes me gastrointestinal distress — stomach ache/cramps/increased need to use the bathroom — and headaches within an hour of drinking them. I want to enjoy the rest of the evening without writhing in pain, so I shout to try to stop them.)

Me: “No, not diet! I just want [soda]!”

Server: *ignores me and pours glass of [diet soda]* “That’ll be £2.”

Me: *thinking they might not have heard me over the music* “I said [soda], not [diet soda].”

Server: “We only have [diet soda].”

(The ceremony has been over for about an hour and a half by this point, and most people are drinking alcohol, so I am annoyed that one of their three soft drink options is apparently already gone.)

Me: “You could have told me that.”

Server: “It’s basically the same.”

Me: *looks at the menu again* “Which lemonade do you have?”

(Some of them use artificial sweetener, and I am really don’t want to only drink water for the rest of the night.)

Server: “Lemonade.”

Me: “[Brand #1]? [Brand #2]? Is it cloudy?”

Server: “It’s lemonade.”

Me: *defeated* “Just give me a lemonade, then.”

Server: *makes lemonade and puts it down* “£4.”

Me: *annoyed* “I didn’t want [diet soda]. It’s not what I asked for. I’m not going to pay for it.”

Server: “But I already poured it.”

Me: “I didn’t ask for it. I wanted [soda].”

Server: “But we ran out of [soda].”

Me: “And you should have told me that instead of assuming I was okay with a substitute.”

(Another wedding goer walks up and orders a round from another bartender. Their order includes a [diet soda].)

Me: *to the other bartender* “Don’t pour one.” *gives them the [diet soda] I don’t want* “This one is ready to go.”

Server: “Hey, you can’t do that!”

Me: “Why not? He wants it. I don’t. I’m not going to pay for it. He will. That way you’re not wasting off stock, and I don’t have to walk away with a drink that I don’t want.” *hands over a £2 coin* “Here is the payment for my drink. If you have any problems, I’ll be over on [table number].”

(I didn’t hear anything else. I did mention the encounter to the bride and groom — after their honeymoon, of course.)


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Un-Beer-lievable Behavior

, , , | Legal | August 11, 2018

(I work as a server at a sports grill which serves alcohol along with grill items like wings. This exchange happens with one of our elderly regulars who has been served his second beer just a few minutes earlier.)

Me: *noticing the now two empty pint glasses* “Wow, did you just shoot your beer?”

Gent: “No, I just poured it in here.” *gestures to a big steel thermos*

Me: *beat* “You can’t tell me these things, [Gent].”

(I told my manager, who offered to dump his beer out if he didn’t keep it in the glass. He conceded and she watched him and his now clean thermos like a hawk until he left.)

Was “Tough” To Make Out

, , , , , | Friendly | August 8, 2018

I’m a guy, and a female friend of mine has invited me to join her and a few of her friends to go to a bar they like. They are all rather attractive women, but as I’m already in a relationship, the idea of being romantically interested in any of them doesn’t even cross my mind.

At one point in the evening we are outside on the bar’s patio area, save for one friend who is still inside. I am in need of a new drink and ask if I can get anyone else one, since I’m heading to the bar, anyway. After getting people’s orders, I head inside and see the other friend standing by a table talking to a guy that I assume she knows. She’s on my way to the bar, so I stop and ask her if I can get her a drink, since I am in the mindset of buying the next round. She politely declines, but then the guy she was talking to says something to me. The music is very loud and I can’t make out what he said. I ask him to repeat himself, but I still can’t make it out. However, from the cadence it sounds like he is making a joke, so I smile at him and chuckle and continue on to the bar to get drinks before I forget what people have asked me to get.

Later, after our group leaves the bar, the friend who was talking to the guy says she is astounded by what I did. I don’t know what she means and ask her to explain. The guy she was talking to was just a random guy who was trying to hit on her. When I came up and asked if I could get her a drink, he thought I was trying to hit on her, too, so he was threatening to fight me for having gotten in his way.

So, from his perspective, he threatened to beat me up, and I looked at him, smiled, laughed, and walked away. He was so intimidated by that that he ended up leaving her alone for the rest of the evening.

I am in no way a “tough guy” and, in fact, tend to avoid conflict to a fault. But this particular time, I managed to accidentally “out-tough” a random guy at the bar.

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