Unfiltered Story #114597

, , , | Unfiltered | June 14, 2018

(It’s a busy Saturday night. I’m walking around the dining room checking tables when an older couple, probably in their mid-60s, stops me outside the back entrance to the bar.)

Woman: We’re looking for our friends. He’s tall…..

Me: I don’t know who is where but feel free to walk around.

Woman: Oh but he’s tall. They ordered nachos!

Me: Are they in the bar? There’s an entrance right there you can look around.

Woman: Oh ok.

(Situations like this happen more often than you’d think, but this was the first time someone expected me to know where their friends are based on what they ordered.)

Giving Pretty Black Girls A Bad Name

, , , , , | | Right | June 4, 2018

(I am working at a bar in small part of town when a man, visibly drunk already, talks to one of my coworkers.)

Drunk Dude: “You guys got any [extremely pricey Vodka]?”

Coworker: “No, we don’t, sir, and we won’t be serving you.”

Drunk Dude: “Do you know who the f*** I am, you little b****?!”

Coworker: “No, I don’t, and I don’t care. I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

(I have my hand on the phone and am ready to call the cops.)

Drunk Dude: “I am the prettiest black woman you have ever seen!”

(He then proceeded to punch my coworker in the face, full-force, knocking her out. I was able to hide until he left, and I called the cops. They found him three blocks away, trying to beat up a bird!)

An Old Fashioned Set Of Standards

, , , , , , | | Working | May 18, 2018

(My husband and I go to the hotel bar, which is attached to the check-in desk. One of the clerks comes over to serve us.)

Clerk: “What can I get for you?”

Me: “I’ll take an old fashioned.”

(The clerk looks at me like a deer in the headlights.)

Me: “Are you okay with that? I can tell you how to make it.”

Clerk: “I’m okay with that. Are you okay with that?”

Me: “Well… Yeah?”

Clerk: “Is he okay with that?” *gesturing to my husband*

Me: “Well, I’m over 21, so I can drink whatever I want, and he doesn’t get a say in it.”

(Another clerk then comes to his rescue and he runs away.)

Me: “I never thought I’d have someone ask my husband for permission to give me a drink!”

Clerk #2: “Yeah, I don’t know what that was about.”

Goodbye Fighting, Hello Kitty

, , , | Right | May 13, 2018

(The bar I am at has a reputation for lots of fighting, and they are trying to change that. One of their methods is to enforce a dress code after nine. I’m at the bar the day their new dress code starts. There is a guy drinking with a cap with the logo of a sports team.)

Bouncer #1: “Hey, man, new rule: no sports hats after nine.”

Guy: “What?! Since when? Why?”

Bouncer #1: “Since today, because last week alone we had sixteen different fights start because some guy got drunk and told somebody else the team on their hat sucked.”

Guy: “So I have to leave?”

Bouncer #1: “Not if you take off the hat.”

Guy: “Yeah, sure, fine.” *takes off hat*

(Ten minutes later, the guy puts the hat back on his head.)

Bouncer #2: “Hey, man, no sports hats after nine.”

Guy: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” *takes hat off again*

(Ten minutes later, hat goes back on head.)

Bouncer #2: “Really, man, again?”

Guy: “I don’t like drinking without a hat on, so what are you going to do about it?”

([Bouncer #2] leaves and comes back with the bar owner.)

Owner: “Okay, look, man. I don’t want any more trouble, so the way I see it, you have three options: one, you and your hat walk out that door and don’t come back; two, your hat goes behind the bar, and you get it back as you leave.”

Guy: “Not going to do either of those.”

Owner: “Option three it is, then.”

(The owner pulls out a roll of Hello Kitty-print duct tape, rips off a piece, and uses it to cover the logo on the hat.)

Owner: “You now support the Pretty Kitties. I don’t know what sport they play, and I don’t care, but they don’t have any rival teams, so there is no fighting about who is better, got it? You can take the tape off when you leave.”

(Now, every night at the bar I see several Pretty Kitty supporters, and the amount of fights has decreased dramatically.)

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I Prefer My Coffee Improper, Myself

, , , | Right | May 2, 2018

(A customer and his wife come to the bar.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

Customer: “A diet [soda] and, uh… Do you do coffee?”

Me: “Yup, of course! What can I get you?”

Customer: “Can you do a latte?”

Me: “Sure, no worries!”

Customer: “No, no, a proper latte.”

Me: “Uh, a latte, yeah.”

Customer: “No, a proper latte.”

Me: “Uh… What’s an improper latte?”

(His wife is giggling away to herself, and he and I are staring at one another totally blankly.)

Me: “Okay… I’ll just make your latte for you, sir.”

Me: *bringing over the drinks* “Is that latte… um… proper enough for you, sir?”

(His wife is totally cracking up.)

Customer: “Uh. Yes.”

(They were perfectly pleasant, but to this day I’ve no idea what he might have thought I’d have accidentally given him instead of his “proper” latte.)

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