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Hobbits Would Disapprove

, , , | Right | April 17, 2020

I work at a large chain fast food store and we have just switched over from breakfast to lunch. I am taking orders in the drive-thru.

Customer: “Are you still serving breakfast?”

Me: “No, we’re not.”

Customer: “Oh. What are you serving now, then?”

Me: “Lunch?”

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All Aboard The Inadequate Training Train

, , , , , , | Working | April 8, 2020

I’m in high school and just got hired at a music/movie store. On my first shift, I am wearing the uniform but only doing training. This includes watching videos on one of the small machines customers can use to listen to music. I’m wearing headphones and focusing on the video when a customer approaches me. 

The woman asks for help finding something in the store. I haven’t even gotten to that part of my training yet so I tell her I’m new and in training, and I can’t help her. I go back to my video thinking she’ll find someone else. That’s where I am wrong. 

She does find someone else, but not to help. She immediately seeks out the store manager and complains about me. They come back to find me together and the woman continues yelling about me to my manager in front of me. She goes on about my horrible customer service and how I am just standing there doing nothing, not helping anyone. 

My manager tells the woman she’ll deal with me later, helps her find her CDs, and checks her out. My manager does talk to me later in the back, but it’s to say that I should’ve helped the woman from the beginning.

That’s how I got yelled at and written up on my first day of work… for not knowing something I wasn’t yet taught.

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Giving You Their Two Cents About Fourteen Cents  

, , , , , , | Right | February 21, 2020

(I work in a pizza shop which delivers to local people and businesses. There is a nursing home nearby which is known — at least to us — for being awful to both patients and our delivery drivers, but it is mainly the patients who call, so we haven’t blacklisted them. Today, we send a driver over with an order for one of the patients. It costs $13.86, and our drivers carry fives and ones but not coins, which is a fairly well-known and obvious practice. We receive the following phone call from the receptionist at the nursing home.)

Receptionist: “Your delivery man came with an order and refuses to give my patient her correct change! The order was $13.86 and he only gave her $6 back! You need to make him give her the rest of the change! This behavior is absolutely unacceptable. You people are aware that this is a nursing home, and I need to stand up for my patient! You tell him—”

(I have been trying to interrupt her for some time now and finally get through.)

Me: “Ma’am, our drivers don’t carry change with them. If he hasn’t gotten too far I can have him check his car for spare change to bring back, but is fourteen cents really worth the trouble?”

Receptionist: “I am appalled! I can’t believe you people would try to take advantage of an old woman like this! I will be speaking to your owners.”

(She then hung up. The driver in question returned a while later and I asked him about the delivery. As it was a nursing home which houses dementia patients, among others, a security code must be entered before the doors can be opened to let someone leave. The driver said that the receptionist refused to enter the code until he gave her another dollar to cover the missing 14 cents. He also said that while she was on the phone with me, he was standing nearby, and witnessed a nurse screaming at a patient in a wheelchair for spilling a glass of water. At the end of the night, we sent an email to several county officials about the nursing home, so here’s hoping they close down or some people get fired.)

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But Adulting Is Haaaaaard!

, , , , | Learning | January 23, 2020

(I work at a professional studies school where the students are working towards a doctorate. Most of the students in their last year are 26 to 30 years old. I am a department admin helping to run a certification that is a graduation requirement for the students graduating in five months.)

Student: “All righty, [Nickname the students aren’t supposed to call me]. I’m all done with the training. I just have to do the final exam to get the certification, and then do I have to email it to you?”

Me: “Yep! Make sure you do it by the date on the paper, or else you’ll have to pay for a new access code.”

Student: “Oh, I threw that away. Can I have another one?”

Me: “You’re in luck. I have one left. I recommend you take a picture of it and make sure you don’t lose it.”

Student: “Hey, you’re going to email us to remind us to do this, right?”

Me: “Nope. You’ve already received three emails with instructions. You’re about to be doctors; I believe in you and your abilities to remember to send your favorite [department] admin–”  *I’m the ONLY admin for this department* “–the certificate.”

Student: *whining* “But we’re just kids. You can’t trust us with anything.”

Me: *just playing around* “How old are you?”

Student: “Twenty-eight.”

Me: “So am I. I think you’ll be fine.”

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The Day That Silenced Everyone

, , , , , , | Right | September 11, 2019

(In September 2001, I am on vacation. While I’m there, my boss suffers a massive heart attack and has to be placed in a medically-induced coma. I return home from vacation late on the evening of 10 September and go into work the next morning needing to handle the small company myself. Of course, the day ends up being one of the worst in US history. Several of our clients and vendors are in New York City, and my boss was still comatose. To top it off, we import a significant portion of our product from Scandinavia, which is then held in Customs during the Anthrax scare a week following 9/11. Most of our clients are understanding, but I have variations of this conversation multiple times a day — including with the owner.)

Client: “Why isn’t my [product] here yet?”

Me: “As you know, [product] is shipped from Scandinavia—“

Client: “So?”

Me: “Currently all shipping containers are being held at Port Authority—“

Client: “What?! Why? I need it!”

Me: “Due to recent events, everything is being secured—“

Client: “Well, what the h*** are they even doing?”

Me: “Checking for explosives and/or Anthrax.”

Client: “I want to talk to [Boss]!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Boss] is currently unavailable due to a medical emergency—“

Client: “When will he be back?”

Me: “At this point, I am unable to say.”

Client: “…”

Me: “…”

Client: “…”

Me: “I will email you as soon as your [product] clears customs and is in route.”

(When my boss woke up six weeks later, we had to explain to him how the world had literally changed, which caused a second heart attack. I ended up running that small company for the next four months, and then quit once my boss was back and recovered.)


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