Funny stories about family

That Is Her Tragedy

, , , , | Related | May 8, 2021

My mother has always hated it when my grandmother complains about something that someone else does, but when it’s pointed out that she has done the same thing she always says, “It’s different for us.”

My sister has just moved into a new subdivision. All of the houses had one or two-car attached garages and very little in the way of landscaping. A few weeks after the move, we head to her place for a visit and we notice that one of the houses now has planted garden beds. One of the beds is across the front of their double garage doors.

Mum: *Angrily* “Look at that; they have planted bushes across the front of their garage doors. You know what they are going to do.”

I don’t see why she’s so angry.

Me: “Yeah, they’re going to turn the garage into rooms.”

Mum: “Well, it’s not right; they bought the house with a garage and it should stay as a garage, not be used as a room. It makes their house bigger than everyone else’s.”

Me: “But you turned your garage into a room.”

Mum: “It’s different for us. We built the garage in the first place; they bought the house with a garage.”

She didn’t mention that she and dad had extended their house until it was the biggest in the street, and she gets indignant when anyone points out how much she sounds like her mother.

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One Day She’ll Get Her Just Desserts, And Then She’ll Understand

, , , | Related | May 6, 2021

I have five younger sisters. Two are in college, while three are still in late elementary school. My college sisters are at home, enjoying some dessert after dinner.

College Sister: “I don’t get dessert most nights. Dessert costs money at school.”

Eight-Year-Old Sister: “That brings the question: did you only come here for free dessert?”

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Auntie Loves You… To A Point

, , , , , | Related | CREDIT: blue_eyed_mess | May 4, 2021

About three years ago, my partner and I wanted to get our daughter a really nice gift for Christmas, so we saved up to get her a DS Lite and a couple of games. I was on the phone with my sister a little after New Year’s.

Sister: “Hey, can you lend me some money? I don’t have any food and I don’t get paid for a whole week.”

Me: “I can probably lend you a tenner. Just pay me back when you get paid.”

Sister: “Oh. Okay. Any chance you could do a bit more? I literally have nothing.”

Me: “That’s all I can give you, Sis. Sorry.”

At that moment, my daughter asks me to help her with something on her DS and if we can go to the shop to spend the £15 she got as Christmas money.

Sister: “Aww, is that my little niece? Tell her Auntie says hi and I love you.”

Me: *To my daughter* “Auntie says hi and she loves you.” *To my sister* “Yeah, I had to help her with something on her DS and she wants to spend her Christmas money.”

Sister: “Oh. So, you have more than a tenner? You can send me more.”

Me: “What? It’s not my money; it’s [Daughter]’s. So, no.”

Sister: “Come on. I know my little niece would like to help her Auntie.”

Me: “I said no.”

Sister: “Well, you can always get a refund for the DS and give me the money. It’s not really an essential thing, anyway.”

You know those moments in movies where they pull the phone from their ear and just stare at it? I had that moment.

Me: “Why the h*** would I do that?!”

Sister: “Because you’re my big sister and it’s your responsibility as family.”

Me: “So, I should get the money back that [Partner] and I saved for [Daughter]’s Christmas present and give it to you? I don’t think so.”

Sister: “But… you have to.”

Me: “No, I don’t.”

Sister: “Yes, you do! You need to give me money for food!”

Me: “No, I really don’t. I offered to lend you a tenner and you had the cheek to tell me you should get my daughter’s money. Seriously?! You are so flipping ungrateful.”

Sister: “Oh, my God! Whatever! I’ll just starve!”

She cut off the call.

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Taking The Twins To Meet The Queen

, , , , , | Related | May 2, 2021

I am shopping in town with my nine-year-old son in tow. Perhaps it’s not such a good idea, but I go into a shop to get myself some new underwear.

We’re in the area where they sell oversized underwear and my cheeky monkey of a son points to a rack of some of the larger items and says in his high-pitched and penetrating voice:

Son: “Look, Mum! Hats for twins!”

And he scampered off, sniggering.

Trouble is, I couldn’t stop laughing. I was still tittering when I got to the checkout, and unfortunately, I set off the member of staff. They say laughter is infectious. I infected the entire store, basically.

When we got outside I gave him one of my famous punishments that aren’t really punishments.

Me: “Just for that, we aren’t going to go up to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen this afternoon.”

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No Argument From Us

, , , , | Related | May 1, 2021

I work from home in online customer service, where we usually talk with customers via phone. Since our opening hours are from morning until late evening, I most often still work after my husband and our two small children have come home.

The children are very good at not coming into my “office” (our bedroom) while I’m working, but they are still small, so they tend to forget every now and then, and there’s no lock on the door. Usually, it’s no harm.

I am in the middle of a call when my two-and-a-half-year-old comes in. I try to tell them without words to go out, but they have a “very important message” to give me and will not leave no matter what. I have no other option but to ask if the customer is okay with being on hold for a second.

The important message?

Toddler: “Mommy, I am your friend.”

They gave me a bright smile and walked away happily.

I had to inform the customer about this. They could only agree that the message was indeed very important.

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