Selling Cuteness Short

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I work in a plus-sized clothing store. We carry “regular” and “petite” sizes. The only difference between the two is length, as the “petites” are shorter.)

Customer: “So, what’s the deal with the petite pants?”

Me: “They are cut shorter than the regular sizes. The sizing is the same.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought they just did that to make it cute.”

Unfiltered Story #100136

, , | Unfiltered | November 16, 2017

The college’s theatre department hosted the flamenco dance company of *world-famous flamenco dancer /Impresario.* The dance company lighting designer spoke no English; *College Theatre Department* tech director spoke no Spanish, leaving *world-famous flamenco dancer* to translate from the dance company lighting designer to the tech staff running the lighting control system, a painfully slow process. The AM lighting tech session dragged on and on until 1 PM, when student tech staff were scheduled to start.

*Student* put on the headset at the lighting board; Spanish Lighting Designer spoke; *world famous dancer* began to reply: *Student* (US father/PR mother, raised in PR) answered in his perfect Spanish, and the stress level in the theatre dropped to virtually zero.

Needless to say, *Student* was scheduled to work every possible hour for the length of the dance company’s stay–and eventually added a theatre minor to his foreign language major–and is a lighting design professional himself, today.

Precious Time It To The Music

, , , , | Right | November 14, 2017

Me: “Sir, I’m asking you again: please stop whistling. This is a quiet area.”

Patron: “I was listening to a song!”

Me: “You don’t have headphones on, and there’s no music playing.”

Patron: “Well, it was earlier, but I was listening to one!”

Boo And Boo-Two, Too

, , , , , , | Romantic | November 11, 2017

(I’ve fallen into the bad habit of calling both my boyfriend and my cat ‘Boo,’ which leads to confusion such as this.)

Me: *to the cat* “Hey, boo!”

Boyfriend: “Are you talking to me, or to the cat?”

Cat: “Meow!”

Boyfriend: “Well, that answers that question.”

School Can Open Doors

, , , , | Working | November 10, 2017

(I live in a very small town. My car is hit and sustains damage on the passenger side. I take it to the only auto body shop in town for repairs. I pick it up on Friday. On Sunday evening I chaperone an event at the high school.)

Student: “Hey, Mrs. [My Name]. My dad’s outside.”

Me: “Why? You guys are supposed to be done at 10:00. It’s only 9:30.”

Student: “I don’t know. I’ll text him.”

(Several minutes pass.)

Student: “That’s weird. My dad never answered, and now his car is gone.”

Me: “He’ll probably be back at 10:00.”

(We finish up and I dismiss the other kids. It’s now 10:15 and there is no sign of the student’s dad.)

Me: “Did you try calling him?”

Student: “Yeah. It went to voicemail. I guess I can walk.”

Me: “I can take you. Why don’t you take my car keys and these boxes and go get in the car. I’ll be there as soon as I lock up here.”

(He takes the keys and goes off to the parking lot. I turn off the lights and lock up and head to the car. When I get there, the student is standing next to the car, looking perplexed.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Student: “Your key doesn’t do anything. I put it in the lock and it spins all the way around and doesn’t unlock the door.”

(I try the passenger door and find he’s correct. I try the driver’s door and it works fine. I reach across and open his door. As we are driving to his house:)

Student: “You know, my dad can probably fix that. He owns a body shop.”

Me: “I know. I just got my car back from your dad’s shop on Friday. He fixed the passenger side. I guess he forgot to reattach the lock.”

(By the time I get home after dropping off the student, I have a voice mail.)

Student’s Dad: “Hi. This is [Student’s Dad]. Thanks for dropping off [Student]. If you can come to the shop in the morning, I will fix your door. I’m really sorry. Um, just tell the girls at the desk you need to see me. They, uh, don’t need to know why.”

(I guess he was embarrassed to admit to his staff what happened!)

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