She’s Not Exactly A Hot Slice  

, , , , | Right | January 17, 2020

While road-tripping, we stop at an Italian restaurant. My husband and I decide to split a pizza. The menu doesn’t give the dimensions of the pizzas, just small, medium, and large. We ask our server what size she would recommend for two people, the small or the medium.

After thinking a bit, she says, “Well, they both have six slices!” We think she’s joking, but she’s not. Eventually, she ends up showing us the approximate sizes with her hands.

We get the medium. It does indeed have six slices.

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Unfiltered Story #182297

, , , | Unfiltered | January 16, 2020

I’m still pretty new to customer service and I’m not used to dealing with hostile customers just quite yet.

Me: Thank you for calling **** how can I help you?
Customer: Do you have a clothes presser? I have a model number here for you to check.
Me: Sir, we need a 13 digit long UPC number for me to check if we have any of that item in stock.
The customer proceeds to give me a model number which doesn’t help me at all since there’s no way for us to use it. I put him on hold in the anyways and just ask over the headset if we carry them and I am told by a manager that we only carry them online and I tell the customer this.
Customer: So can you just order me one online, I have my credit card here that I can give you.
Me: I’m sorry sir but we can’t take any sort of order over the phone for your own safety. There is nothing stopping me from just using your credit card information to go on a personal spending spree especially since this just happened to Starbucks.
Customer: Are you serious? I’ve been a loyal customer for years now and you won’t even place a d*mn online order over the phone?
Me: I’m sorry but we don’t even have access to the online inventory to order items in for a customer since they are technically a separate company from us. Can you just go online and check for yourself? (Something that should take literally five minutes)
At this point the customer gets even more angry and I put him on hold to find the number for our online customer service when a manager finds out and offers to take the call. About an hour later I find out that he was also swearing at her and she ended up hanging up on him for his rude behavior. When I got home I looked online and we don’t even carry them online anymore. All that over a stupid clothes presser.

Unfiltered Story #182289

, , | Unfiltered | January 15, 2020

*An old lady comes up to order.*
Lady: I want a steak and cheese sandwich with marinara sauce.
Me: Do you want a sub or an actual sandwich? *some people do actually order steak and cheese sandwiches, so I have to ask*
Lady: No! I don’t want lettuce and tomato and all that stuff! I just want sauce!
Me: ….okay. Six inch or twelve inch?
Lady: Six inch.

Realistic Crafts, Unrealistic Expectations

, , , , | Right | January 14, 2020

(My business makes high-end, handcrafted, custom items for customers. My online store has a gallery of past custom work I’ve created. This is apparently confusing to one person.)

Customer: *via email* “How do I check out to buy this piece?” *link to a photo*

Me: *via email* “Thank you for your interest! That piece was handcrafted for a customer last year. If you would like to commission a similar piece, please read the following instructions for custom work and fill out the custom order form.” *provides link*

Customer: “Okay, then how do I buy this piece?” *link to different photo*

Me: “All of the work I sell is custom made, so it is created specifically for the customer who ordered it. The gallery shows examples of past pieces so you can see the craftsmanship. I do not have any items in stock. I’m glad you are interested in ordering, though, and if you would like to have me create something for you, please visit [link].”

(Four days go by.) 

Customer: “Okay, but I really wanted this piece.” *link to first picture* “Please ship.”

Me: “That item, like everything I sell, was handcrafted specifically for the person who ordered it. I do not have finished products to ship. I only make custom items. I would be happy to create an item for you from the beginning; please see custom work instructions at [link].”

Customer: “Okay.”

(Two days pass.)

Customer: “Please custom make this item.” *provides a link to the third picture*

Me: “Instructions for beginning a custom order are at [link].”

Customer: “What do I need to do?”

Me: “Full instructions are at [link]. You will need to pay a deposit and approve sketches, and I have four- to six-week wait.”

Customer: “I will pay the deposit when you send photos of the finished item. Just like [link to the fourth picture].”

Me: *sends custom order link, no further text*

(Next day:)

Customer: “Please ship by tomorrow. It’s a birthday present.”

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A Healthy Belief In Paranoia

, , , , , | Working | January 14, 2020

(The store I work in is small and quiet, sometimes not getting customers for an hour or more. Naturally, most of us spend a lot of time on our phones. I try to be professional about it and only be on my phone if there are no customers around. Even a single customer anywhere in the store, and my phone stays off, no matter how bored I get. None of my coworkers are that cautious, even though I keep reminding them that management can spy on us through the cameras at any time. One day, we’ve just opened, and the only people around are me at the register and the owner in the office. An hour later, he comes out and sees me sitting there playing with my phone. Worried he might disapprove, I immediately start defending myself.)

Me: “Sir, I swear I’m never on my phone when there are any customers around.”

Owner: “You know what? That’s what they all say… and you’re the only one I believe. You’re fine.”

(It’s an interesting feeling when you realize your paranoia was completely justified.)

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