When Their First Step Is To Call Corporate, Worry

, , , , | Right | February 18, 2020

(I work in a lingerie store at the mall. We have a store policy that we cannot accept screenshots or pictures of coupons, only the physical coupon or the email in which the coupon was sent. Usually, when I explain this to customers, they totally understand and everything is fine. Then, there’s this lady. I’m ringing out her items and she hands me her phone to scan her coupon. I see that it’s just a picture of the back of the coupon, so I hand her phone back to her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t accept a picture of the coupon, I’ll need the physical coupon in order to use it.”

Customer: “My husband sent that to me; I left it at home.”

Me: “I understand, but I’m really sorry. I can’t use it. You can always come back with today’s receipt and the physical coupon, and then we’d be glad to honor it for you.”

(Normally, this is where customers go, “Oh, okay,” and continue with the transaction. She does not. She steps off to the side with her phone. I don’t know what she is doing. Texting her husband to tell him to bring it in?)

Customer: “What’s the number to corporate?”

Me: “To… corporate?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Um, give me one second while I ask my manager.”

(I talk through my headset to my manager.)

Me: “Hey, I have a customer here at cash who wants the number to corporate.”

Manager: “Uh… well, we can’t just give them the ‘number to corporate.’ That’s not a thing. Here, I’ll give you the customer care number.”

(My manager gives me the number and I give it to the woman. She steps off to the side, and I suspend her transaction so I can continue to ring through the increasing line. Then, I hear her suck her teeth.)

Customer: “This isn’t the number to corporate. I want a direct line to corporate.”

Me: “Um, okay. Give me one second to see if we have another number.”

(I go on my headset again.)

Me: “Hey, so my customer wants a direct line to corporate?”

Manager: “What? Okay, well, here’s this number that skips through the number pressing and takes you right to a person. Hopefully, it’s the right person?”

(I give the customer the new number.)

Customer: “Ugh, this is the same thing. I want the number to corporate.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s the only number we have.”

(She rolls her eyes and stays on the line until a person picks up. I’m still working on ringing the next customers.)

Customer: *on the phone* “Yes, your cashier won’t take my coupon so she’s making me waste my time by calling you.”

(And now I was pissed. She literally didn’t say anything as she stepped aside to call “corporate” until she asked me for their number. I wasn’t making her do anything, and she was certainly wasting her own time. I guess my manager saw the look of pure anger on my face and told me to take my break. “Right now.” So, I did. By the time my half-hour break was over, this lady was STILL on the phone at the register. They gave her a 20%-off coupon code to redeem at the register just to appease her. I hate when they do that; it just teaches the customer that they can get away with s***. She apparently ranted the whole time about how we were all wasting her time, MAKING her call “corporate.” If she would have just agreed to come back later with her receipt and coupon, she would’ve been out of there in three minutes.)

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I Mean, If You Like Dents, Go For It

, , , , , | Friendly | February 18, 2020

(My boyfriend comes and brings me lunch on my break. Since it is a nice day, we decide to sit outside and enjoy some sunshine. We notice that a customer has let a cart start to roll across the parking lot, so my boyfriend decides to run and try to catch it.  Out of nowhere, a lady in a car starts speeding towards him and the cart.)

Lady: *mouthing something inaudible*

Boyfriend: *figuring she is irate about the loose cart* “Sorry, this isn’t mine; I was trying to catch it.”

Lady: *yelling out the window* “I was going to try to stop it with my car.”

Me: *facepalm*

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Time To Put That Industrial Carpet And Asbestos Back!

, , , | Right | February 16, 2020

(I work in a library that’s been in the same building for over a century. We’ve had an extensive renovation that restored the original fireplaces, wood floors, and vaulted ceilings, which have been hidden under paneling, industrial carpet, and a drop ceiling for decades. We’ve also installed custom wooden shelving to replace the utilitarian metal shelves. On this night, we’re hosting an event in conjunction with the local historical society.)

Middle-Aged Woman: “I haven’t been in here since the seventies!”

Me: “Really? Wow. It’s really changed, huh?”

Middle-Aged Woman: “Yeah, and I’m really disappointed.”

Me: “Disappointed?”

Middle-Aged Woman: “Yeah. Y’all did a s***ty job maintaining the aesthetic.”

Me: *speechless*

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I Love You One Day A Year Because Corporate Says So

, , , , , , | Romantic | February 14, 2020

(My fiance and I go to the same college. We both live on campus, in the same building on separate floors. At the time of this story, we’ve been dating for three years, with our anniversary on February 9th. It’s right around Valentine’s Day, and one of his roommate’s girlfriends is in their room, waiting on her boyfriend before they go out. They’ve been dating for three months at this point.)

Roommate’s Girlfriend: “Do you have any plans to take [My Name] out for Valentine’s Day?”

Fiance: “Our anniversary is the ninth, so we usually just go out around then to celebrate, but [My Name] doesn’t really believe in Valentine’s Day.”

(This is true; I have no qualms with those who want to celebrate, but I’d rather not have a corporate holiday telling me when to celebrate the people I love. I’d rather do it on a random day than do it when society expects, but again, I don’t hold it against anyone who wants to celebrate and I’m happy for them if they do! He explains the above to her, but she’s proven in the three months they’ve been dating to not be the brightest bulb in the room. She takes the explanation in, sits for a moment, and then says:)

Roommate’s Girlfriend: “Oh, so you don’t love her?”

(He was not very happy. Neither was I, at first. After the anger waned, I felt a bit sad for her and people who believed the same. Valentine’s Day does not equal Love, and I hope we can teach our young folk that there’s more to love than being taken out on a holiday!)

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Unfiltered Story #186187

, , | Unfiltered | February 14, 2020

(I’m a night auditor at a hotel. A guest who had been annoying me and creating a disturbance the previous night comes down to the lobby and starts taking some pictures.)

Guest: “Hey, do you think you could help me out and take a selfie of me in front of the fireplace?”

Me: “No. I’m sorry, sir.”

(I only said no because he had been annoying me, but a realize a minute later that I couldn’t have helped him even if I had wanted to, due to the inherent impossibility of taking a “selfie” of somebody else!)