Bugged By Being Pedantic

, , , , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I’m a sales associate at a mom-and-pop store. I’m helping a young Amish woman locate the pest control.)

Customer: “I need some insect killer.”

Me: *takes her to pest control, picks up bottle* “This one is a good kind.”

Customer: “Oh, well, this kind is for bugs.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, I need the kind for insects.”

Me: “…”

Unfiltered Story #116496

, , | Unfiltered | July 17, 2018

(I work at a CVS in Philly, and at about 8:30 pm a girl who is about 13 and her mom comes in.)

Mom: Ok, you go get your stuff and i’ll go get mine.

the little girl rushes off to the nail polish section while her mom goes in the laundry detergent isle. they both come back 10 minutes later with full hands.

Me: Would you like a cart?

Mom: yes, please!

I go grab her a cart and her and her daughter stuff their stuff inside the cart. they go to the self-pay machiene and the girl starts loading her items. once her items have been loaded she pulls out $30 from her pocket and gives it to her mother. when the transaction was finished her total came to about $210. However, she had a coupon that saved her 25% off her purchase. she put the coupon in and it wouldn’t go through.

Mom: Excuse me? something’s wrong with this thing. it wont take my card.

Me: Ok, ill get this for you…… there we go! it should work now. any more problems just let me know.

Mom: thank you so much!

(the mom goes to her wallet to grab her credit card and a look of horror appears on her face. she frantically searches through her wallet and she looks at her daughter.)

Mom: S***, I think we left the card in (popular resturaunt name). we have to go get it.

(she calls the place and they tell her they have her card)

Mom: *looking over to me* Excuse me! Sir! Come Here!

Me: What seems to be the problem?

Mom: I left my credit card in a store nearby and my daughter and I need to go get it. Do you think you could watch our bags for us please?

Me: of course.

Mom: ok, thank you so much!

(she then proceeds to grab her daughter’s hand and run out the door to her car and drive away. they come back 5 minutes later, the daughter out of breath, and the mom tired. They pay for their purchase, thank me again, and just as they were about to leave, the girl comes up to me and holds out $3 that are crinkled up tromendusly.)

Girl: Um, I know it’s not much, but,um, for all your um, help, I’d like to give these to you.

Me: Thank you so much! however, i’m not allowed to take these since my boss might get mad at me.

Girl: oh, uh, that’s uh, okay.

(the girl’s face is as red as a tomato and I felt bad. Even though i declined her offer, it made my day. I hope her and her mother come back again!)

The Returner Versus The Couponator

, , , , , | Right | July 15, 2018

(I work at a craft store that accepts competitor coupons. After closing time the manager waits by the door to let out customers who stay late.)

Last Customer: “I have a coupon from [Competitor].”

Me: “All right!” *applies coupon* “You total is [total].”

(Finishes transaction.)

Last Customer: *irritably* “Can I have that coupon back?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Last Customer: “So I can use it at [Competitor], too?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I can’t return a coupon that’s already been used.”

Last Customer: *to my manager on her way out* “Your employee was very rude!” *leaves*

Manager: “What did you do to her?”

Me: “She wanted me to give back her used coupon.”

Manager: “Pshh!”

The Couponator 6: The Coupon Awakens
The Couponator 5: Online Decline
The Couponator 4: Deadly Discounts
Return Of The Returner: The Buyback
Return Of The Returner: Jeans Of Justice
Return Of The Returner: The Return

That’s Some Truly Wonderful Bulls***

, , , , , , | Friendly | July 15, 2018

My husband’s sister was going to be nearby on business, so my husband and I decided we would drive to the city where she was staying to take her out for dinner. About 15 minutes before we arrived, I told my husband this rather long story about two women who bump into each other after not seeing each other for a few years.

The first woman was telling the second all the (rather unbelievable) things that had been happening in her life and after each one, the second woman would say, “Wow! That’s wonderful!” When the first woman finally asked the second what she had been doing lately, the second replied that she’d been going to charm school. “Oh, really? What do they teach you in charm school?” “They teach us to say, ‘Wow! That’s wonderful!’ instead of, ‘Bulls***.’”

Hubby chuckled at the joke and that was the end of it, or so he thought.

We were sitting there enjoying a meal and listening to my sister-in-law go on and on about her wonderful son — think the male version of the Princess Ballerina Astronaut. When she finally slowed down enough to draw breath, I commented, “Wow! That’s wonderful!”

Poor hubby snorted milk out his nose halfway across the restaurant.

Adventure To The Warehouse Of Infinity

, , , , , | Right | July 14, 2018

(I’m the weekend and night manager of a small university bookstore. I typically run the register, since the work-studies usually are in and out all day. I don’t mind it except when I get the bizarre customers.)

Customer: *holds a sweatshirt* “Do you have this in a medium?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are all out of that size.”

(I know for a fact that all we have of that particular sweatshirt are out on the floor.)

Customer: “Do you have it online?”

Me: “We do have an online store, but everything we sell online we simply pull from the stock we have here, so if we don’t have it here, we don’t have it online, either.”

Customer: “But I can order it online?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we are out of that size.”

Customer: “But you just said you have an online store?”

Me: “Yes, but we pull from the same stock. If we are sold out here, then we are sold online.”

Customer: “But if I go to [National Chain], and they don’t have it in the store, they can order it.”

Me: “That is a national chain; they have warehouses of stock. We are a small bookstore; we don’t have that.”

Customer: “But you have it online. You have to have a warehouse of stock.”

Me: “Ma’am. We are a small bookstore. All of our stock is in the back room. We don’t have a warehouse. If we are sold out of something here, then we are sold out everywhere.”

Customer: “Oh… So, there isn’t a warehouse?”

Me: “No.”

(Thank God she finally seemed to get the message that we don’t have piles of stock in some warehouse somewhere that we pull orders from. Sadly, I wish this was an unusual circumstance, but as most folks in retail know, the customers insist the stockroom is a magical place where every size and color of the rainbow is hidden.)

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