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Not In Receipt Of All The Facts

, , , , , | Right | January 14, 2021

We have the option to print or email a customer receipt. Unfortunately, this happens at least once a day:

Me: “Printed or emailed receipt?”

Customer #1: “Yes.”


Me: “Printed or emailed receipt?”

Customer #2: “Email. It’s my first name dot last name at [website].”

Me: “I don’t know your first name or last name.”

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Consumer Culture Has Infected Them All

, , , , , | Right | November 15, 2020

I work in one of Philadelphia’s hundred museums. It’s not unusual for visitors to ask for directions to other museums when they’re done with ours, especially one made famous by a certain fictional boxer.

I am stationed in a room that people normally visit just before they’re ready to leave. A visitor makes the most confusing request I’ve had to deal with to date.

Visitor: “Can you give me directions to the museum?”

Me: “Do you mean the [Popular Art Museum]?”

Visitor: “No.”

Me: “Okay, which one are you looking for?”

Visitor: “There’s more than one?”

Me: “Yes… there are a couple of dozen museums in this city.”

Visitor: “I guess I’m looking for the [Our Museum].”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s us. You’re already here.”

Visitor: “Yes, can you give me directions?”

Me: “Are you trying to get back to the main room?”

Visitor: “No, I’m just trying to buy a shirt! How hard is that to understand? Where is the museum?!”

Me: “Oh, you mean the museum store.”

Visitor: “Yes! The museum!”

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Time For A Change… Of Occupation

, , , , , | Working | November 13, 2020

I am an American returning home from studying in the UK. I have a layover in Philadelphia and I’m going through security. My carryon has been flagged for search after the scan and a TSA agent waves me over so he can search my bag. He rifles through it and can’t find anything, and it occurs to me it’s probably a little side pocket that I have been keeping my loose change in.

Me: “There’s a little pocket there on the side.” *Points*


Me: “Sorry…”

I point again, this time keeping my hand as far from the glass as possible. The agent ignores me as he continues to go through the other pockets.

Agent: “Where is it?!”

Me: “It’s right there! It’s just change.”

He finally pays enough attention to me to see the pocket and searches it to just find a handful of British pennies.

Agent: “Listen to me. YOU HAVE TO SPEND THESE!”

He handed me my messed up bag and sent me on my way. I was left wondering when carrying money became an offense or how I would spend £0.50 worth of pennies in an American airport.

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Give Him A Week, Then He Might Get It

, , , , | Right | November 3, 2020

A customer calls in looking for a dumpster for tomorrow, Saturday.

Me: “Our first available delivery date is Monday. We service Monday through Friday only in your area.”

Customer: “Okay, so no tomorrow?” 

Me: “No, sir, Monday through Friday only.”

Customer: “Okay, so how about next Saturday?”

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A Picture Tells A Mil Palabras

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2020

I work in customer service in a retail store that carries both English and Spanish versions of our catalog. We are temporarily out of the English catalogs, only having the Spanish ones available at the time.

Customer: “Do you have any English catalogs?”

Me: “Sorry, not at the moment. But we will be getting more in next week. Would you like a Spanish catalog in the meantime?”

Customer: *Agitated* “I don’t speak Spanish.”

Me: “Don’t worry; the pictures are in English.”

Customer: “Ah, okay.”

He took the catalog and moved on.

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