Saved By Your Good Name

, , , , , | Legal | April 22, 2019

(My friends and I are driving back from a trip. It is getting late, and I don’t slow down as much as I should going through a little “blink and you’ll miss it” village. The town cop pulls me over — wearing jeans and a polo shirt with his badge embroidered on — and I compliantly hand over my license and paperwork. Less than a minute later, he walks back to the car and hands my stuff back.)

Cop: “I’m letting you off with a warning. I didn’t feel like trying to write your name on a speeding ticket.”

(My full name as printed runs 26 characters, including two first names, a middle initial, and the last name.)

At Least They Were On The Hospital Side

, , , , , , , | Legal | April 17, 2019

I grew up in a small country town that was mostly made up of farms. As a result, I learned to drive as soon as I could see over the steering wheel — sitting on my grandfather’s lap — but didn’t actually get my license until I was 21. My home town is separated by a river and, until about ten years ago, there was only one bridge. Quite often there would be an accident on the bridge, blocking the whole bridge, effectively cutting off one side of the town to the other.

Before I got my license, my best friend had her first baby. Three weeks before her due date, she and her fiance had a BBQ as a last hurrah before the baby came. As I was working late, by the time I got there, everyone but the mum-to-be was well over the legal driving limit. About 20 minutes after I arrived, my friend’s water broke and the contractions were coming hard and fast — she’d been suffering Braxton Hicks Contractions for about a month so when labour actually started she didn’t realise.

We called an ambulance, only to find that an accident had shut the bridge down and all three of the ambulances in town were stuck over on the other side. As we were on the same side of town as the hospital, I decided to drive her the kilometre and a half to it. I managed to get her, the father, and my boyfriend into her car and race to the hospital. With about one kilometre to go a police car pulled up behind me and put its lights and sirens on. I ignored the cops and kept going.

I pulled up in front of the emergency department and got out, only to face two pissed-off officers. I ignored them as I send the father in to get help and, without looking at the officers, opened the back door to get my friend.

As I did this, I said to the cops, “Look. No, I don’t have a license. Yes, I was speeding, but the bridge is closed, there are no ambulances on this side, and she’s having a baby. Everyone else is drunk; I’m sober. You can arrest me once she’s taken care of.”

Another contraction hit my friend and both the male officers went pale. Doctors and nurses came rushing out and managed to get her inside.

One cop said to me, “We’ll give you a warning due to the circumstances, but you need to get your license. We hope everything’s okay with the baby.”

My friend didn’t even make it to the maternity ward, and not even ten minutes later, she delivered a happy, healthy baby boy. I got my license the next week.

Driving Like They’re High(way)

, , , , , | Legal | April 11, 2019

Other Car: *driving at 30 in right lane*

Me: *slows down, prepares to pass on left*

Other Car: *drifts into shoulder then overcorrects hard into my lane*

Me: *slam on brakes, thinking I’m going to hit them*

Other Car: *front bumper flies off into the shoulder, with obvious damage from before*

Me: *thinking* “This guy has no business out here.”

(I contact the Highway Patrol number listed on the signs for emergencies on the highway and stay on the car, trying to get the plate number. I am placed on hold. Stunned, I wait, forgetting the plate number as I realize the police have put me on hold. After waiting five minutes, I finally get a dispatcher.)

Dispatcher: “Highway Patrol.”

Me: “Yeah, hi, I’m driving on [Highway], passing mile marker [number]—“

Operator: “So, you’re on [Highway in this part of the state]? Stand by, we will transfer you to that troop.”

Me: “Hey, this is urge—“

Hold Music: *plays*

Me: “What the f***?”

Hold Music: *continues to play*

Other Car: *continues driving erratic and slow*

(We’ve passed a pair of mile markers now, with me still on this car’s tail.)

Me: “Hello? What is this?”

(By this point, we had approached a part of the highway where three lanes feed into one, and since I was trying to tail them from a non-obvious distance, this allowed other cars to merge in and prevent me from getting their plate. I pulled over and waited for a response from the state troopers. After another ten minutes of hold music, I gave up.)

When Speeding Saves Lives

, , , , , | Legal | April 4, 2019

(I work as an x-ray tech. While at home, I get a call that there’s a teenager with a gunshot wound being rushed to the hospital, and I need to beat the ambulance there so I can help prep him for surgery by x-raying to see where the bullets are lodged. I hang up the phone, grab my stuff, and get in my car. I don’t have a light or siren, so I can’t just blast through intersections, but I am legally allowed to ignore posted speed limits, so long as I don’t cause an accident. There’s one stretch of road where the speed limit drops by ten miles per hour for a single block; it’s clearly a speed trap, as there’s nothing to differentiate the block from the rest of the street. And that day, there happens to be a cop hiding out at the speed trap, who sees me rush by and immediately flips on his lights and siren and pulls out behind me. I see the cop and groan, but I don’t stop, as I don’t have the time for this. Instead, I continue all the way to the hospital, pull right up to the ER doors, and run inside, throwing my keys and wallet to the receptionist.)

Me: “I’ve got a cop on my tail! Tell him I’ll be with him as soon as I’m out of surgery! Or he can just leave the ticket with you!”

Receptionist: “The ambulance just pulled into the bay. GO! I’ll handle the cop.”

Me: “Registration is in the glove box!”

(I run off to do my work, but I am told about the following when I come back to pick up my wallet and keys later.)

Cop: *comes running inside* “Where did she go?! Does she honestly think hiding in a hospital means I won’t arrest her for failing to pull over?”

Receptionist: “Sir? Sir! The woman you’re looking was just called into surgery. But she left me her wallet so I could help you sort this out.”

Cop: “Surgery? She didn’t look injured to me!”

Receptionist: “No, sir. She’s our x-ray tech. We just had a boy brought it with gunshot wounds, and she was called in to prep him for surgery.”

Cop: “A kid?”

Receptionist: “Yes, sir. And it’s a good thing she got here so fast, because his ambulance is already here, and the surgeon can’t start to operate until he knows where the bullets are. He needs an x-ray to guide him.”

Cop: *deflates* “Oh.” *turns and starts to walk out*

Receptionist: “Don’t you need to see her license and registration?”

Cop: “I’m not giving her a ticket for saving a kid’s life! Just tell her to be careful.”

Teenage Dream Turns Into A Nightmare

, , , , , , | Legal | April 3, 2019

(I’m working third shift in the control room at a police department, and it’s currently one in the morning. I have my main screen fixed on my sergeant, who is outside in the dimly-lit parking lot taking a smoke break. The parking lot is completely empty except for the cars belonging to the jail staff. She’s about to come back in when two teenage girls walk across the parking lot and ask her something. The sergeant shakes her head but leads them towards the main lobby door. They take a seat as the sergeant radios me.)

Sergeant: “[My Name], call Communications and have them dispatch [Patrol Sergeant] here. Those juveniles he’s been searching for have shown up.”

(I see the girls look at each other uneasily on the camera as the sergeant takes a seat between them and the door.)

Me: “Roger that.”

(I make the call, and not a minute later I see two patrol cars come flying into the parking lot. One officer jumps out of his car before it’s even parked. I turn on a speaker in the lobby just in time to hear:)

Patrol Sergeant:Where have you two been? And who have you been with?”

(The girls pretend to ignore him before the other deputy gets in their face.)

Deputy: “HE ASKED WHERE THE H*** HAVE YOU TWO BEEN? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED YOUR PARENTS ARE? WHAT THE H*** WERE YOU THINKING?”

(Two more cars come flying into the parking lot, and an older couple, a young man, and a middle-aged woman come storming into the lobby. The sergeant takes that as her cue and comes back into the jail, shaking her head.)

Sergeant: “Stupid idiots. What the h*** were they thinking?”

Me: “Is everything okay, Sergeant?”

Sergeant: “Those two were the fifteen-year-olds that the deputies have been looking for all night. They decided to skip school but realized they missed their ride back afterward.”

Me: “But the high school dismisses at three pm! What were they doing? Just wandering around for the last ten hours?”

Sergeant: “I don’t know. What’s it looking like out there?”

(I look at the camera just in time to see the mother of [Girl #1] throw a book bag across the lobby while the other woman and the father are shouting and waving around a cell phone. The young man is turning red, and he yells at the girls before walking back outside. Meanwhile, the deputies are standing back shaking their heads.)

Me: “I think there is more to the story, Sergeant. The families look pissed off right now.”

(The next morning we got the full story from the deputies. The girls had skipped school to spend the day fooling around with their secret twenty-some-year-old boyfriends in the next county over. The plan had been for them to get back in time to catch the bus so no would know they were gone. Unfortunately, [Girl #1]’s mother had gone to pick her up early, and when they found out she had never shown up to school, they asked about [Girl #2], who is their neighbor. That’s when they realized that BOTH of them had not shown up for school at all and were reported missing. The young man was [Girl #2] brother, who had driven up from South Carolina to help their mom look for her, during his finals week, no less. The girls did end up missing their buses back, but it was because their boyfriends got them back late. Instead of owning up to it, they tried to find someone who could give them a ride and eventually gave up. After wandering around for hours, they saw the sergeant smoking in the parking lot and decided it was time to ask for help. When the parents arrived, everyone was already stressed out and pissed off. That’s when [Girl #1]’s mother — who is very conservative — saw hickeys on her daughter, and she lost it, throwing her book bag across the lobby. The dad was screaming because [Girl #2]’s mom had unlocked her daughter’s phone and found explicit photos of them with their boyfriends. The brother, realizing he missed an important final because of his sister’s booty call, snapped and walked out before he hit her. Last I heard, the boyfriends had been criminally charged and one of the girls had been sent to a private school.)

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