Breaking Bad Badly

, , , , , , | Legal | June 21, 2018

(I am talking to my boss when a woman says this to one of my coworkers:)

Women: “Hi, this might sound a bit crazy, but you may want to get an officer down here. There is a suspicious container on the street and I’m concerned it may be meth.”

(My coworker relays this to my boss — the owner — and me.)

Boss: “Yeah, we don’t deal with that. You–” *meaning me/senior staff* “–should call the police.”

(I call the dispatch.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name] at [Store]. We had a woman report a suspicious container that she is concerned might be meth, so we thought we would call it in.”

Dispatcher: “Yes, I’ll send an officer right down. I need your full name for the report.”

(I begrudgingly give him my whole name, meaning that this whole thing is attached to my name in their system. An officer comes down a few minutes later and I meet him at the back by the container.)

Officer: “This it?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Officer: *picks it up* “If this is meth they suck at it…” *opens and sniffs it* “This is duck sauce; I’m going to throw it away.”

Me: “Okay… Sorry… Thanks…”

(There is a police report with my name that says I reported suspicious duck sauce. Thanks, random lady.)

He Jay-Walked Right Into That One

, , , , | | Legal | June 20, 2018

(I am walking the street when I cross the road about 200 hundred metres from the traffic lights. There are about ten office workers standing around smoking. When I cross there are no cars coming. When I am passing the office workers, a cop runs across the road; by now the lights have changed and three cars have to slam their brakes on to avoid hitting him.)

Cop: “Miss, you just jaywalked. I’m going to have to fine you.”

Me: “What? I’m not within 20 metres of the lights. And if I did, then you did, as well, and almost caused three accidents.”

Cop: “Don’t be a smart-a**e; otherwise, I’ll arrest you for obstructing the course of justice, as well.”

(I’m stunned and not sure what to do.)

Office Worker: “Hey, let him. That way he’ll get into s***. There’s CCTV cameras that would have caught the whole thing, and I’ll back you up.”

Other Workers: “Yeah, me, too.”

Cop: “Um… Well, just don’t do it again.”

(He then crossed again without looking, almost causing another accident. Thanks to the office workers, I wasn’t fined, but I wish I had got the camera footage and taken it further.)

A Previous Offense Helps Out A Recent One

, , , | | Legal | June 19, 2018

(In my state, your driver’s license is suspended as soon as you’re arrested for DUI. The cop actually takes your license card away from you and it’s mailed back later. I’m at the office of the towing company while a guy is trying to get his car back after it was impounded during his arrest last night. He’s gotten stuck at the part of the process where he has to prove it’s his car.)

Worker: “Okay, I just need to see some photo ID.”

Guy: “I don’t have my license. I’m not going to drive it; my friend is here with me and his license is good. He’s going to drive me home.”

Worker: “I can’t release the car to you without some kind of government-issued photo ID to prove that you’re the owner. Driver’s license, passport, military ID…”

Guy: “They took my license and I don’t have anything else. I have to get my car today; I can’t afford to let it sit here until they send it back.” *has a thought* “Wait a minute.” *pulls out his phone and begins tapping at the screen*

Worker: “We can’t accept your Facebook.”

Guy: *still on phone* “No, hang on a sec. This will work.” *finishes whatever he’s doing and shows the screen to the worker*

Worker: “Uh… Yeah, I guess that does count as government identification. Okay, if you head around to the gate they’ll bring your car up in a few minutes.”

(After he left, I asked her what he showed her. It was his name and photo on a sex offender registry site with a .gov address!)

It’s A Thin Blue Line Between Acceptance And Denial

, , , , | | Legal | June 18, 2018

(The following are a series of emails between a student and their local police department:)

Email #1 from [Student]:

To whom it may concern,

My name is [Student] and I am a student at [University]. I am currently taking the class Introduction to Law Enforcement and for one of our projects we are required to do a ride-along with a police officer. Is it possible to do a ride-along with [Law Enforcement Agency]? If so, what do I need to do to sign up for one? I would greatly appreciate any help. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

[Student]

Email #1 from Police Department:

Hello, [Student],

I believe that Lt. [Commander District #1] is the person responsible for coordinating ride-alongs. I cannot say with absolute certainty that is still within his purview as a few of the upper administrative personnel had a few changes in responsibility lately. What I would suggest is that you call the front desk at [number] between eight am and five pm Monday through Friday and ask to whom you would need to speak. The front desk officer should be able to transfer you directly to the correct person. Sorry I wasn’t able to assist you fully with the correct answer.

[Records Technician]

[LEA] Records Technician

Email #2 from [Student]:

Hi,

This is to inform you that your excuse has been received. Thank you.

[Sorority Member]

Vice President of Communication

[Sorority]

Email #2 from Police Department:

Unfortunately, due to your condescending response to one of our records technicians, who did in fact give you 100% accurate information, the [Law Enforcement Agency] will not be hosting you for a law enforcement ride-along. In summary, as a representative of your peer group, this remark is unwarranted:

Your email will also be forwarded to the [Other Local Law Enforcement Agencies] to demonstrate your disdain for the men and women of the local law enforcement agencies who serve the students, citizens, and visitors to [University], [City], and [County].

It is my sincere hope that in the future you act more accordingly when asking for an accommodation to be made for your individual benefit.

Lieutenant [Lieutenant]

[Law Enforcement Agency]

District 1 Commander

911, How Can We Ignore You?

, , , , , | | Legal | June 16, 2018

(I come home from work at night to find a group of teenagers standing in the middle of the parking lot of my apartment doing drugs. Being a young woman with a small build, I feel immediately uncomfortable having to walk by these boys by myself at night. As I circle around to find a parking space, the boys keep glaring at me and approaching my car menacingly. I finally find a parking space on the opposite side of the lot, but still feel uncomfortable walking to my apartment alone. I call the police to see if they can come out to assess the situation.)

911 Dispatcher: “911. What is your emergency?”

(I go through the process of giving my address, stating that I need police, etc. I finally get on the line with a police dispatcher.)

Police Dispatcher: “What is your emergency?”

Me: “There is a group of teenagers doing drugs in the middle of the parking lot of my apartment.”

Police Dispatcher: “Can you describe anything about the vehicle they’re in?”

Me: “Um, they aren’t in a vehicle. They’re standing around the parking lot.”

Police Dispatcher: “Well, are they standing near a car? Can you describe it at all?”

Me: “I mean the boys are talking to another boy who is sitting with the door open out of a car, the rest are standing in the middle of the parking lot. I didn’t get a good look at the car because they started to approach me as I drove by them.”

Police Dispatcher: “So you can’t give me any descriptions?”

Me: “I mean, I can describe the boys. There are four of them, they are [race] and seem around [age range]. They are all wearing backwards ball caps and baggy shirts, and they are smoking joints and passing small pills between them.”

Police Dispatcher: “But you can’t describe the vehicle at all?”

Me: “There is no vehicle involved! One boy is sitting in his car talking to these guys, but the ones I’m having a problem with are literally walking around the parking lot. From the two seconds I looked at the car, while they were approaching my car, I saw that it was a small car, probably a sedan, in maybe silver or grey. But again, that has nothing to do with my call. I’m calling about the four boys walking around the parking lot doing drugs and hassling me. You can’t miss them! Look, I’m sitting in my car on the other side of the parking lot because they keep glaring at me and I don’t feel comfortable walking to my apartment alone in the dark with these boys here. Could you please send someone out to help me?”

Police Dispatcher: “I’ll try to send someone out to take a look.”

Me: “Thank you.” *click*

(I sat in my car for almost an hour until the boys finally decided to go inside an apartment opposite mine. No one ever came to help me. I called later to ask if something big had happened that prevented someone from coming out to help me. After finding the report the previous dispatcher made about my call, the operator told me a note had been made that the caller was “unable to give a full description of the other vehicle involved” and the call was deemed a low priority. I filed a formal complaint. I’ve always been the biggest supporter of the police department, still am, but I was furious that day at how my safety was completely disregarded by a jaded 911 operator.)

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