I was switching between the register and customer service. An older lady came in with her grandchildren, wanting to find a gift for the older boy. I gave a few suggestions at her request, but she shut down all my attempts. I let her do her thing and choose for herself. Finally, after shuffling through everything, she went to pay.

Customer: “I’d like the points on my [Store] account.”

Me: “You have a $2 discount, but sadly, this item is non-discountable because of the brand.”

She was not happy. She raised her voice.

Customer: “Why do I have so little saved up?!”

Me: “The only way to have points is to buy stuff more often.”

The price was $23. She leaned in and asked, in a hushed tone:

Customer: “Could you do me a favor, since I’m a very good client?” *She’s not.*

Seeing as I wouldn’t budge regarding the discount, she angrily threw the toy.

Customer: *To me.* “You’re not very bright!” *To her grandson.* “It’s too expensive! Choose something else!”

The child had a tantrum and threw himself down. After everything calmed down, she went to pay for a different toy. I scanned it, and it was $25. 

This time I could apply the $2. 

She looked smug.

Customer: “Now I can have my points!”

So… this lady really made a scene to finally pay the same amount that was “too expensive” minutes ago?!

Well, that was a weird day.

I was working as a sign painter’s apprentice years ago, and we did a bunch of hand lettering work for a local church, the main sign out front, their van, and on their main glass doors.

My boss slams down the phone and, red in the face, spins around in his chair.

Boss: “That was the minister. He says he’s not paying. Said there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Me: “After three months of excuses? Seriously?”

Boss: “Oh, there’s something we can do about it. Are you willing to meet me here tomorrow at 2 AM?”

Me: “Uh… I’m getting paid?”

Boss: “Of course!”

Me: “Then yes.”

The next night, it’s quiet; the whole village is asleep. We ride our bikes under the cover of darkness, backpacks clinking with supplies. We stop in front of the church, the van glinting in the streetlight, the proud glass doors gleaming with the hand-painted lettering we’d worked so hard on.

Boss: *Pulling out four cans of Easy-Off.* “God may forgive, but oven cleaner won’t.”

We spray everything. Every careful brushstroke, every letter, until the paint bubbles and melts. Then we rinse it all down with a weed sprayer. By the time we’re done, the signs look like blank slates, as if we’d never been there at all.

Me: *Chuckling as the paint washes into the gutter.* “Guess he was right, there’s nothing we can do, but we can undo.”

Back at the shop, we crack open a couple of beers and lean back, watching the clock tick past 4 AM.

Boss: “That’s that. If he calls, I’ll tell him to pray on it.”

He never did call. Six months later, the local paper carried the headline: “Minister Charged with Embezzlement, Removed from Position.”

I’m helping a customer who is looking for a Bluetooth outdoor speaker.

Me: “This one is best for picnics or trips to the beach, since it’s waterproof, and—”

My manager steps in and interrupts.

Manager: “—oooor, you could get this speaker instead! It’s much louder and only a little bit heavier, but that weight really packs a punch with the volume!”

Me: “[Manager], we already discarded that option as it’s not waterproof.”

Manager: *Ignoring me, talking to the customer.* “[My Name], means well, but she’s not as clued up on electronics as some of the gents. You look like a customer who wants to impress with the bass of their outdoor speaker.”

Me: “No. He’s a customer who wants something waterproof enough to survive his, how did you put it? “Army of three children, all under nine years old, who have enough water pistols each to start a war.”?”

Customer: “That’s what I said! I’ll take the one that you recommended.”

The customer takes the box I had taken out for them, and is on their way. My manager rounds back on me after the customer leaves.

Manager: “YOU NEVER SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF A CUSTOMER!”

Me: “Don’t speak to me like that in front of a customer, and you won’t be spoken to like that in front of a customer.”

The customer turned back at the sound of my manager’s raised voice.

Customer: “I do hope that [My Name] here isn’t going to get into trouble for picking out for me exactly the speaker I needed?”

Manager: “This is an internal staffing matter, sir. I wish you a good day.”

Customer: “All the same, I will be calling your head office to praise [My Name] on their excellent customer service. I’ll be sure to mention the exact date and time… just in case it happens to match up with any disciplinary action they might have coming their way.”

The customer and my manager stare daggers at each other for a while before the manager tells me to go about my tasks and politely says goodbye to the customer.

That customer actually followed through and called the head office to sing my praises! It didn’t come to anything, of course, but it put my usually petulant and man-baby-like manager in his place for a while!

My husband and I are announcing our pregnancy to both sets of parents at a family gathering. My parents are overjoyed. My mother-in-law, not so much…

Mother-In-Law: “You’re adopted, right?”

Me: “Yes, you know that.”

She brings it up all the time, like she thinks she can sling mud with it. It bothers her how unbothered I am about it.

Mother-In-Law: “Well, since nobody knows where you came from, aren’t you afraid of what could be wrong with your baby?”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

My Parents: “Are you being serious?!”

Mother-In-Law: “What?! She has no heritage, so it’s a risk!”

Husband: “Mom, considering how much you drink and that you take so many antidepressants, you rattle, I’m going to take my chances that our child turns out more like my wife than like you. Now, are you going to be happy for us or are you going to leave?”

She left.

Our daughter is now almost a year old. Mother-in-Law has met her precisely once.

My winter boots just gave up on me in the middle of winter, so uncool of them. Seeing as I was heading into the city with a friend of mine to meet up with another friend, the friend and I headed into a shoe store on the way.

I have really large and wide feet for a lady, a size 42-43 to be precise, and not many stores have that for a lady’s option. We enter a store, and I spot some really pretty boots that I want to try.

Me: “Hi, excuse me, do you have this in a 42?”

Sales Lady: “We have it in a 41.”

Me: “Oh no, thank you, that won’t fit, and—”

Sales Lady: “It will fit you. Sit down.”

Me: “Okay?”

I have Autism, so I’m not really a confrontational person or do well in social settings, so I sit down on a bench and take off my shoe.

Sales Lady: *Shoving the shoe on my foot.* “Here, put this on. See, it fits perfectly!”

It doesn’t. The whole shoe feels cramped, and I can barely move my toes.

Me: “The shoe actually feels small.”

Sales Lady: “Where does it feel small?!

Me: “The whole shoe?”

Sales Lady: “Where!?”

Me: “Uh, the toes?”

She then proceeds to place her thumb down hard on the edge of the shoe to measure, which, with the shoe being tight, I could feel.

Sales Lady: “Nope, it feels fine. It’s perfect for you!”

Me: “Uh, no, thank you.”

As I bend to take off the shoe, I give a small, exasperated sigh, justifiable, I may say.

Sales Lady: “You shouldn’t roll your eyes at me, you know!”

I quickly put my shoe back on, grab my friend, and practically run out of the store.

It’s a shame, the store had pretty shoes, but that lady didn’t have a pretty attitude.