Someone Rescue Me From These Dumb Customers

, , , , , | Right | August 15, 2018

(I work ocean rescue in Florida, and we wear neon green shirts with red writing all over them loudly stating that we are OCEAN RESCUE, and listing where we are located, etc. I am visiting my friend in Chicago and while shopping at a store, I am wearing the aforementioned brightly-coloured shirt. A very obnoxious woman comes up and hits me with her cart.)

Lady: “Do you work here?”

(I didn’t think someone could be so blind and stupid because the uniform for that store is a black and blue shirt.)

Lady: “I SAID, ‘DO YOU WORK HERE?!’ WHAT ARE YOU? DUMB?”

Me: *finally figuring out she’s serious* “No—”

(She shoves her cart into me again, so angrily I grab the cart and say:)

Me: “Lady! You must be the dumb one! What part of ‘OCEAN RESCUE’ means that I work here? And if you hit me with your cart again, I will find someone who works here and file charges against you!”

(The lady grumbled to herself, and an associate finally walked over and asked if something was wrong. I relayed the entire story to her, and she asked if she could do anything for me. I told her thank you but no, I would just be on my way. It still bewilders me how stupid and unaware people are.)

It’s Time To Leave… For Good

, , , , , , | Related | August 15, 2018

(I have asked my partner to try to keep the peace when visiting my parents. To their credit, they have managed to be completely neutral this entire week. We’re supposed to be heading to dinner. My partner is already in the car, but my parents keep me in the house to lecture me. They go on for a while about how worthless I am, until my partner comes in to check on me.)

Partner: “[My Name]?! Why are you crying?”

Dad: “It’s nothing.”

Mom: “See, she’s coming in to help you now, but how can you expect her to do that forever? You can’t do anything on your own! Eventually, she’s going to leave you and—”

Partner: “F*** YOU!”

Parents: *startled*

Partner: “How dare you say I would leave? How dare you say [My Name] isn’t worth the whole world?! F*** YOU!”

Dad: “Don’t you dare curse at my wife!”

Partner: “Don’t you dare treat [My Name] like this!”

(There’s a staredown, and things are tense. My partner breaks the tension by taking me out of the house. We call a cab and leave. A week later, my grandmother calls me.)

Grandma: “I heard she cursed at your mother! I cannot believe you would be with someone like that!”

Me: “Mom told me I was useless and that [Partner] would leave me!”

Grandma: *pause* “Well, it was still rude of her to curse. That girl has no manners.”

(Joke’s on them. We’ve moved away, and are financially stable and happy together. Despite their claims, I don’t need them anymore.)


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Can’t Make Up Over This Make Up

, , , , , , , , , | Related | August 15, 2018

(My boyfriend’s mother insists that we organize an engagement party, where we have to follow the traditions of his family — not mine — and there are tons of rules to follow. She insists this due to the pressure of other relatives of hers, which I never liked, since their reasoning is that we have dated for so long, we should get engaged. It is quite a disaster! Even though his grandmother tells us she is going to help pay for the photographers, she later claims it’s too expensive and only pays 30%! And when it comes to decoration, we have a hard time choosing it, as the relatives have lots of opinions, even though the party should be about my boyfriend and me, not about them. One of my boyfriend’s aunts does bridal makeup. When we ask for a makeup trial to see the colors, and ask for the price, it is very unreasonably high. She also uses the very same makeup brushes for all her clients without washing them after using! We find another bridal makeup artist who is willing to give much better prices, and does the makeup and hair so much better than that aunt. On the day of the engagement, his grandmother keeps rushing us to finish changing my dress — after the first prayer, I have to change my saree into another saree which is the official engagement one — and that stupid aunt and her son take all the chocolates that are offered to the groom’s family. My boyfriend sister is really mad at this matter:)

Sister: “That is the offering from the bride’s family to the groom’s. This should be shared to the groom’s first before being further shared to the relatives.

Aunt: “I’m part of the groom’s family; why can’t I take anything? Not to mention that you guys owe me the money for doing your makeup!”

Sister: “What? You said that was just a free trial. You have done this business for many years; of course you need to understand there are times where you might not get any business deals.”

Aunt: “I WON’T FORGIVE YOU FOR NOT PAYING THE RIGHTFUL MONEY TO ME!”

(This is not the first time she did something like this. Previously, another relative was really unsatisfied with the bridal makeup she did, so she asked for a discount as she thought it totally ruined her big day. Not only did she not apologize or do anything of the sort, she kept insisting that she was not in the wrong, and even asked her to pay more than the amount they agreed on prior! To this day, I don’t talk to that aunt and her rude son, who is as rude as she is.)

Doesn’t Give A Fork(lift) What Comes Out Of His Mouth

, , , , , , , | Working | August 14, 2018

I work for a medium-sized haulage company as a driver, and also as an extra hand in the warehouse — I’m qualified to drive fork lift trucks — whenever I need to make some extra cash.

Our warehouse only has two permanent staff: the warehouse manager who is a hard-working, highly capable man in his 30s, and the permanent forklift driver, who is a deeply unhealthy man in his late 50s with serious work ethic issues and almost non-existent people skills, who’s pretty much coasting until retirement at this point.

The forklift driver is almost invariably in a bad mood, always hungover, and generally just an a**e to everyone who sets foot in the yard, often going as far as insulting individuals or their parentage, etc. However, if you confront him about his behaviour — he’s not a large man, and forty years of heavy smoking hasn’t done him any favours — he will back down permanently against you as an individual and be considerably more polite with you from then on.

Truckers aren’t exactly a passive lot, so unsurprisingly, the majority of our own staff have had words with him at one time or another, so with our own staff he’s not too bad anymore. That being said, people from third parties pretty much always get grief off of him for pointless things like parking in the wrong bit of the yard when it’s completely empty, etc.

It was just past seven pm and we were pretty much done for the day when a van appeared to drop off the last pallet of the day, parking slightly off to the side. We do have marked bays for unloading vehicles, but we generally make no effort to enforce this until we get more than one vehicle in the yard. However, the forklift driver shouted, “Can you not see the bay? Did your mum not teach you to read, you stupid, dumb c***?”

In a shocking twist, the van driver had an issue with this comment, and emerged from his van to reveal he was well clear of six-and-a-half feet tall and had a build not all that far from a rhino on steroids. He calmly said, “Do you want to f****** say that again?”

Knowing at this point how deeply screwed he was, the forklift driver frantically tried to backpedal as the van driver walked up to him, calmly applied the forklifts handbrake, and then gripped the forklift driver with both hands and lifted and pinned him to the roof of the forklift. He then hissed something into the guy’s ear, and the forklift driver frantically bleated out a string of apologies. The van driver dropped him back into his seat and turned to the warehouse manager and me, who had gathered nearby to try and intervene if things really kicked off.

The van driver calmly asked, “Bay 1?” My manager confirmed this and we unloaded his pallet. Once he’d left, we asked the forklift driver if he was okay and whether he wanted the police called. He declined the police and just opted to go home.

I didn’t hear what the van driver said to him, and he’s never discussed it since, but it shook him up so much he was nice to everyone for about six weeks afterwards.  

I don’t condone violence as a way of getting your point across, but this guy’s been threatened by so many people at this point that I’m amazed he hasn’t learned to keep his mouth shut yet.


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The Data Is Gone And So Is Her Restraint

, , , , , | Related | August 14, 2018

(We have an Internet package that gives us a set amount of data per month. It sucks, but it’s the only one available in our rural area. One morning, I realize that the data is already halfway gone, despite it just being the beginning of the month. I wake up my younger sisters:)

Me: “Hey, [Sister #1], [Sister #2], have you been watching videos again?”

Sister #1: “Nope.”

Sister #2: “No, why?”

Me: “Well, the data is already halfway gone.”

([Sister #2] screams angrily, takes out her own laptop, and starts to pull up random apps and network tracers that she downloaded during her little “hacker” phase.)

Sister #2: “I FOUND IT! SOME A**HOLE ACROSS THE STREET IS MOOCHING OUR WI-FI!”

Me: “So, now what?”

Sister #2: *laughs* “I’m going to give them h***.”

(I don’t know what she did, but our Wi-Fi has been running smoother since.)


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