You Can’t Squeeze Two Years Into One

, , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(I work in a high-end gift shop near a popular tourist destination. A woman walks up to me holding two calendars and a £20 note.)

Customer: “What kind of discount do I get for buying more than one of something?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have any multi-buy discounts.”

Customer: “Hmph. Well, these calendars are £10.99. I have £20.”

(She looks at me expectantly.)

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “How many can I buy?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you’re asking me. You may buy as many calendars as you like. But two calendars would cost £21.98. If you only have £20, you can only buy one calendar.”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: “So, let’s ring that up for you!”

(I lead the customer over to the tills, where she handed me both calendars and the £20 note. She looked quite disgruntled that I placed one calendar behind the counter and scanned the other, but she said nothing. When I handed her change to her, she pulled out a wallet positively stuffed with money. So much for not having the extra £1.98!)

Not Quite The Postcard Perfect Customer

, , , , | Right | January 24, 2018

(I have just commented to my coworker how nice the customers have been today when two very old women approach me.)

Woman #1: *in a very stern voice, as if scolding a child* “You! Why isn’t everything in this store marked with a price? It’s absurd! Am I supposed to ask you what each and every single item costs?”

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, ma’am. We do try to mark every item. If we can’t attach a sticker or a tag, then we will have a sign. But you can, of course, ask me if you can’t find the price.”

Woman #2: *waves postcard in my face* “How much is this?”

Me: “All postcards are £0.65, unless they are special edition cards, which are more.”

Woman #2: “No! They are not 65 pence! Look at this!” *shoves sign at me that reads “(Special) Postcards: £2.25″*

Me: *screaming internally* “Yes, like I said, special cards cost more, and it is marked on the sign.”

Woman #1: “But the other cards aren’t marked!”

Me: *gesturing* “As you can see, there are six signs, one above each rack, which indicate that all normal postcards are 65 pence. Can I help you with anything else?”

Woman #1: “Yes! These notebooks aren’t marked! Why is nothing marked?!”

Me: “The price tag is on the inside.” *opens notebook and shows her*

Woman #1: “Why would you do that? Now you touched it and made it dirty! The price should be on the outside!”

Me: “Ma’am, it is a leather book. Putting a sticker on the leather could damage it.”

Woman #1: “Humph! Well, the book is too heavy! I don’t want it, anyway!” *storms away*

(Over the next half hour they both keep bringing items up to me, asking the prices, even though they are clearly written on the attached price tags, and then screeching, “But how do you knooow?! Nothing is marked!” Eventually they buy a few postcards, argue with me over paying for gift bags, and finally leave. But 15 minutes later…)

Woman #1: *storms back into shop* “I bought these, and they’ve too heavy!” *slams ten postcards on the counter*

Me: “I’m not sure what you’d like me to do ma’am. I cannot change the weight of the cards. Would you like to return them? I can give you a refund.”

Woman #1: “Yes, you’d better! I have asthma, you know! I can’t carry these! They’re too heavy! But I’m keeping this bag!”

(After she finally leaves.)

Coworker: “So… What were you saying about everyone being nice today?”

Elementally Flawed

, , , | Right | December 27, 2017

Me: *answering a phone call* “Hello, you’ve reached [Gift Shop]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hi, do you sell t-shirts?”

Me: “Yes, we do; our t-shirts are $24.99.”

Caller: “Do you have any periodic table t-shirts?”

Me: “No. Unfortunately, we don’t have any periodic table ones.”

(I list our available designs for the caller.)

Caller: “So, do you have any periodic table shirts?”

Me: “No, only the designs I mentioned. Sorry.”

Caller: “And how much are they?”

Me: “$24.99.”

Caller: “And you have a periodic table one?”

Me: “No, we do not, I’m afraid.”

Caller: “Okay, so what sizes do you have?”

Me: “At the moment we have sizes 10, 12, and 14.”

Caller: “Do you have any that would fit me?”

Me: *pause* “No.”

Doesn’t Understand How Money Works

, , , , , | Right | September 21, 2017

(I’m working the third shift. The phone rings and my coworker answers it. As I’m stocking items, my coworker waves me over to the counter and hands me the phone.)

Me: *thinking it is a family member* “Hello?”

Guest: “Hello?”

Me: “This is the gift shop. How can I help you?”

Guest: “Yes, I’m waiting in line to get food right now, but we were just in there about two hours ago. I had a comp from the Player’s Club I wanted to use, and then pay the difference off with my card, but when I checked my bank account, my card had been charged the full amount.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! Are you still here? If so, you can come back and I can fix that up for you.”

Guest: “No, that won’t be possible. I’m about an hour away now. I’m in line for a buffet, but I don’t even know if we have enough to even get something to eat now.”

Me: *not sure what she wants me to do* “So, what are you asking for, ma’am?”

Guest: “Can I get a refund?”

Me: “Not without the card physically in my hands, ma’am. I can take your comp back to the Player’s Club so it won’t go to waste if you’d like?”

Guest: “That won’t help my bank account!”

Me: “No, but it’s still worth over $20 in points, and I’d hate for you to be out of those points.”

Guest: “Is there anyone else there I can talk to?”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s just me and my coworker. If you don’t mind, I could consult with my managers to see if we can fix something for you?”

Guest: “Please do! We’re in line and I’m still on the phone with my bank trying to fix things.”

Me: “All right, and again, I’m sorry. I’ll call you back soon.” *we both hang up and I go to call my manager*

Coworker: *interrupts me from calling* “Hold on; let me tell you what happened. This lady had a big family, and they just started piling stuff on the counter. They didn’t tell me they had a comp and I rung up the sale and cashed them out, okay? After they left, I found their comp folded up on the edge of the counter!”

Me: “Let me call [Manager] first and see what she says.”

(I call and she confirms what I already suspected; I can’t do a refund without the card physically present. But then, she caves in and says she will let me do the transaction over the phone, which is against policy. Of course, it will take a few business days for the money to go back into the guest’s account, so it won’t help her immediately, but she will definitely be getting the money back. I call the woman back.)

Me: “I spoke with my manager, and she said if you feel comfortable giving me your card number, I can redo the transaction over the phone, correcting it for you.”

Guest: “Oh, well, my bank is taking care of it for me.”

Me: *confused* “Your bank is taking care of it?”

Guest: “I think so.”

Me: “So, you’re sure your bank will reimburse you this money?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “So, you don’t want the refund?”

Guest: “No. Well, the bank is taking care of it. I mean, I could still give you my number I guess, but everything should be fine now.”

Me: “If you say so, ma’am. I’m glad we could settle things for you.”

Guest: “Thank you!” *hangs up*

(I immediately run the forgotten comp slip back to the Player’s Club to be deposited back into the guest’s account, then jump back on the phone with my boss, relaying everything the guest told me.)

Manager: “…she what?!”

Me: “Yeah, she kept saying her bank was going to fix it. But the only way I could think of the bank fixing it is…”

Manager: “She’s trying to dispute the charge! Do you still have her number?”

Me: “Yep, right here.”

Manager: “Save it; I’ll call her in the morning.”

Me: “Careful, she’s f***ing nuts.”

Manager: “She must be!”

Me: *looks to my coworker* “She doesn’t want the refund, but she calls complaining she needs the refund that can’t help her out today anyway, gambles away her money, and says her family doesn’t have nearly enough to eat on.”

Coworker: “Then why the hell did they come to the casino in the first place?!”

Preventing Fraud, One Dollar At A Time

, , , , , | Right | September 14, 2017

(I am working a graveyard shift in the store and am currently alone. As a policy, we are to check IDs for all form of cards: credit, debit, player club cards, etc. I’ve had customers thank me for checking their IDs, and even very few get disgruntled because they had to pull their ID out, but nothing quite beats this transaction. A woman walks in, immediately goes to the food side and picks up a candy bar, then proceeds to give me her card.)

Me: “Can I see your ID please?”

Customer: *she gives me this blank look* “Why?”

Me: *pauses* “To… check your identity, ma’am.”

Customer: “But I wrote my name on the back of the card.”

Me: “Yes… I see, but I have to check a government issued ID to make sure the names match.”

Customer: “But can’t you just look and see my name on the card?”

Me: “Yes, I can, but that doesn’t verify that you’re you.” *She looks at me, still confused.* “Look at it this way: if I don’t see if you’re you, anyone can take your card and spend whatever they want.”

Customer: “But it’s just a dollar!”

Me: “Just a dollar HERE. If someone else did have your card, what’s to stop them from spending $50, $200, or more elsewhere if I didn’t verify identity?”

Customer: “I still don’t understand; it’s just a dollar!”

(She signed her slip and left, and I actually slid into the floor on my knees and popped my forehead against the counter in disbelief.)

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