Can We Just Look Around And Ruin Your Evening?

, , , | | Right | August 22, 2019

(I’m the last one to leave after closing. As I’m locking the front door behind me on my way out, a middle-aged couple approaches. The store is completely dark, the “closed” sign is up on the door, and there is no one left inside.)

Customer: “Oh, are you closed?”

Me: “Yes, we closed about twenty minutes ago.”

Customer: “Can we just come in and look around for a few minutes?” 

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not possible; we’ve already shut down the registers.”

Customer: “We aren’t looking to buy anything! We just want to look around!”

Me: “We’re closed. I can’t let you in. I need to leave now. I have somewhere to be.”

(They continued to stand there, staring at the door, as I walked away. I kept an eye on them as I got into my car, and saw them try the door once or twice, then look at the hours sign next to the door, and then look at their phones before finally walking away. I made sure that they were long gone before I drove away.)

Unfiltered Story #160058

, , | | Unfiltered | August 8, 2019

We sell Black Forest Cuckoo Clocks in our store. One day a tourist with his 5-year-old son comes in and they watch one of the clocks where the bird comes out, making “cuckoo, cuckoo”.
Father to the son: “Do you know what bird that is?”
Son, sounding uncertain: “A rooster?”
Father: “No, an owl!”

(Even worse: they came from Germany and really should know better!)

If Only She Could Ear Herself

, , , , , | | Right | July 31, 2019

(A woman comes into our small gift store on a particularly quiet day and begins looking around. She is the only customer in the store and my boss is in back.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “I just love this store; you always have such nice things here.”

Me: “Thank you. Please let me know if you need anything.”

(The woman stares at one of our displays for a few minutes and then approaches the counter where I am putting together gift baskets.)

Customer: *suddenly in an impatient voice* “I would like to make a return.”

Me: “Sure, what would you like to return?”

(She digs around in her purse and retrieves some red earrings in an obviously opened and mangled package.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but earrings are an item we consider non-returnable, just for health reasons. I hope you understand.”

Customer: “But I need the money now. I don’t like these earrings and I want my money back.”

(I should point out that the customer is well-dressed with a new manicure and expensive handbag; these are $10 earrings.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but please understand that we can’t sell used earrings.”

Customer: “But I have a receipt!”

(The customer pulls out a torn piece of a manila folder that says, “[Shop] receipt one pair earrings $10,” in red pen.)

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t accept this; it’s not… exactly…” *trails off, at a loss for words*

Customer: “I hate you! I hate you! I hate this shop. I’m never coming back!”

(The woman grabbed a bow off the counter and threw it at me, grabbed her earrings, and stormed out the door.)

Unfiltered Story #157564

, , , , | | Unfiltered | July 14, 2019

I am the second customer in line at the gift shop at a waterpark. The woman in front of me paid her $20 bill with a stack of wet singles. One clerk is using a piece of plastic to press the water out of the bills.

Me: Does that happen often?
Clerk: More than you know.
Me: I am so sorry.

( I paid with dry cash)

That Will Put Lead In Your Pencil

, , , , , | | Right | July 10, 2019

(I work in a museum gift shop that carries long, bendy, novelty pencils. Customers often tie them in knots and hide them in the display. Simply hilarious. If the staff doesn’t find the knotted pencils in a timely fashion and untie them, they become permanently bent and unsellable. I assume it is probably kids doing it, but one day I spot a grown-up adult man sneakily tying a pencil in a knot and attempting to hide it, and I get to use a line I have been saving for just such an occasion.)

Me: *in my best customer service voice* “Excuse me, sir, but when you’re done playing with that, can you also untie it?”

Grown Up Adult Man: *sheepishly unties pencil*


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