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He Became The Dinosaur Butt Of His Own Joke

, , , , , | Right | March 25, 2022

I work in a museum. Due to the recent health crisis, coupled with an extremely busy summer, our gift shop has been running low on product. Rather than have gaps throughout the store, we’ve consolidated what product we do have and left one small section of shelves completely bare.

Customer: *Sternly* “You know you have bare shelves?”

Me: *Begins the usual spiel* “Yes, unfortunately, it been very difficult for us to get product lately, so we’ve—”

Customer: “I don’t believe that! You’re just a bad worker!”

I think, “Surely, he’s just messing around?”

Me: “Haha, nah. I’m just a big fan of the clean shelf aesthetic.”

Customer: “No! You’re just a bad worker!” *Storms out*

I’m now less sure he’s joking, but I forget about it for a few minutes until I hear a commotion at the front desk from a familiar voice.


Apparently, the man left the museum only to return and vent his various frustrations to one of my coworkers and a security guard.


I explain to my coworkers what he said in the store.

Security: “Yeah, he seemed to be under the impression that the shelves were bare because we’re hiding product from the new exhibit from him.”

Me: “But, we do have [New Exhibit] products; they’re on the very first table he’d have seen when he walked in!”

Coworker: “I tried to tell him that, but I couldn’t get a word in.”

Me: “And the dinosaur a**holes?”

Security: *Sighs* “He was also upset that some of the dinosaur skeletons were facing away from him when he got to that section, ‘forcing’ him to stare at their butts.”

In this museum, there are two directions you can walk; one is more oriented for the new exhibits, while the other is more oriented for the dinosaur exhibits. He apparently chose the former, so when he reached the dinosaurs, some of them were “backward”.

Security: “He also believed we were hiding snacks from him.”

Me: “We haven’t sold snacks in the gift shop in years.”

Security: “Not according to him. Anyway, he demanded [Manager]’s number, so I’ll warn them they may have an interesting voicemail on their office phone tomorrow.”

A lady customer who was waiting in line behind the guy (and clearly had been trying to contain her laughter) passes us to enter the dinosaur exhibits.

Lady: “For what it’s worth, I’m now kind of excited to see some dinosaur a**es!”

That gave us all a good laugh!

Later, the guy revealed he was a long-time member! So, not only should he have been familiar with the direction of the dinosaur skeletons (seeing as they haven’t changed in years), but we now have all the info we need to trespass him if he returns!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes (Turn And Face The Stupid)

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Notiser | March 21, 2022

I am working in the gift shop at a zoo to get by while I am in college. The shop is pretty big; from one end, you can’t really see the other end. There’s one checkout next to the entrance; it’s kind of on its own at that side of the shop. Then there are the three main checkouts at the other end of the shop by the exit.

One day, I’m standing at the checkout by the entrance. I like working on that one because it’s never busy; people don’t normally walk through the whole shop and then go back to the entrance to pay. It’s an odd place to have a checkout, but I’m not complaining — easy day for me.

A guy walks out of the zoo and into the shop. He immediately turns and looks at me.

Guy: “Is this checkout open?”

Me: “Yes, is there something you’re looking for?”

He doesn’t respond and just walks back out of the shop and back into the zoo. Bit weird, I think, but I don’t really think anything more of it and carry on working.

About half an hour later, my manager comes over and asks me to cash up and go and takeover from someone at one of the main checkouts. I cash up and close the checkout. I turn all the lights off, put a cover over the desktop, and put out the sign that tells people to pay at the exit.

These are all pretty clear signs that the checkout isn’t open, especially the literal sign.

A while later, I’m working on the main checkouts and this guy comes stomping up. I realize it’s the same guy that came in like an hour ago asking if that checkout was open.

Guy: “I’ve been stood waiting at that checkout for twenty minutes!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, that checkout has been closed. You can pay here, though.”

Guy: “Well, you told me it was open, and now you’ve wasted my time!”

Me: “Again, I apologize, but we closed that checkout.”

Guy: *More annoyed* “I came in before and you told me that it was open. You lied to me.”

Me: “Sir, the checkout was open an hour ago; since then we’ve closed it. There was a sign that says to pay over here.”

Guy: “Well, I didn’t see any sign, how am I supposed to know it’s closed? And why would you close it after telling me it’s open?”

I’ve had enough. How clueless is this guy? Who in their right mind comes into a shop an hour beforehand to see if a checkout’s open? Things aren’t going to be the same an hour later. How could he not tell that it was closed? Every other customer had no issue with seeing that. Did he not notice flocks of people walking past with items to pay at the other end?

Me: “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but again, we closed that checkout a little while ago. I’ll see what we can do about making it more obvious that the checkout’s closed.”

Guy: “It’s just poor customer service. You’ve wasted my time here! Your management is going to know about this. Just check me out so I can leave.”

I thought it best to not say it out loud, but I was thinking, “You’re d*** right they will. My manager’s going to love this one.”

Even Tommy Pickles At Least Wore A Diaper

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: NoClueWhatToUsername | February 24, 2022

I work in a little section of a resort gift shop. We have our own cash registers and our own section of things people can buy that’s sort of separate from the rest of the gift shop

I am working the cash register like usual, and our little section is completely empty. This mother comes in with her baby who is wearing a shirt and nothing else — no diaper or pants, just bare butt. She walks right up to the counter, I greet her politely, and she decides to set her child on the counter. We don’t let customers set their kids on the counter at all, let alone bare-a**ed.

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t sit your child on the counter.”

She promptly snatches up her child.


And she stormed out of the gift shop while I was standing there, blinking in surprise at how she went from zero to one hundred in the blink of an eye.

And yes, I did thoroughly disinfect the counter after she left.

Not Every Crime Family Is Smart

, , , , | Right | February 11, 2022

I’m covering the shop for my brother; they have recently had a baby and need to take time for appointments. Unfortunately, being such a busy time of year, and with a new child, they can’t afford to close the store; even with my limited experience in retail, it is better than nothing, and I’m happy to help.

One thing my brother warns me is that there is a family who will try every trick in the book to get free or discounted stock; they will lie, cheat, and “forget to pay” for everything if they feel that they can get away with it. The only reason he hasn’t banned them is that their family is huge and they send different family members in, even using their children.

I will know them when I see them, and I have full carte-blanch to deal with them.

A familiar-looking family comes in. It’s a small store but there are seven of them. They come in together but quickly split into two groups.

One comes to the till.

Customer #1: “I bought these the other day and they were all broken when I got home. Can I get my money back?”

It’s a figurine; these ones don’t come boxed, so we didn’t sell it broken like this. I restocked the shelves earlier and they don’t look like the ones we sell at the moment. I’m suspicious.

Me: “Do you have a receipt? Or any proof of purchase?”

Customer #1: “No, but I’m in here all the time. I know that the owner wouldn’t want to lose a good customer like me. And the item was broken when I brought it.”

Customer #2: *Walks over* “Sorry to interrupt, miss.” *To me* “Just so you know, this was sitting on the shelf broken; it looks defective.”

She puts down a similar figurine, now snapped in half.

Me: “Okay, I will need a special code to override the till for any return. Please bear with me.”

They smile at each other as I step into the cupboard and check the cameras to see the second woman clearly breaking the figurine. I manage to call the police without the women realising.

Me: “Sorry about that, I’m new.”

I kept them busy, pretending I didn’t know what I was doing until the police turned up. They removed the customer from the shop and took the camera footage. Apparently, it’s a known scam; they buy cheap knock-offs and return them to the store to swap for the real ones or get more money back.

They intimidate workers, threaten them, or just come back and steal something else out of spite. It was a one-family crime wave.

The State Of California Would Like A Word

, , , | Right | January 17, 2022

I was working in a gift store in a mall. There was a dude by the incense, and when I walked by, I overheard him say:

Customer: “They make fun of my rituals now, but we’ll see who’s laughing when I burn down that g**d*** mountain!”

And I sometimes wonder what he’s up to. For anyone wondering, despite living in a very dry region, and despite that mountain being one that does catch fire somewhat often during fire season, the mountain did not catch fire that year, despite that crazy dude’s attempts.