An Alarming Lack Of Overstock

, , , | Right | January 15, 2019

(I shop I work at has a ton of artist-made, one-of-a-kind items. It’s is also quite small and built in a historic building.)

Customer: “Do you have this bowl in blue?”

Me: “I’m afraid what you see is all we have.”

Customer: “Could you check the back?”

Me: “All of our product is on display; we don’t have overstock.”

Customer: “Don’t be lazy! Just check the back room.”

Me: “There is no back room to check.”

Customer: “Then what’s that?”

Me: “That’s our back door.”

(The customer rolls their eyes and huffs but continues shopping. A few minutes later, the alarm shrieks out. The customer has opened the back door, setting off the alarm and stepping outside. I rush to disable the alarm, and there’s a minute of silence before I hear a knock at the back door. Outside, there’s a narrow, private alley locked on both sides by a tall gate, and the customer has obviously found himself caged in. I open the door to find him looking sheepish, and he quickly makes his way through the store to leave. I can’t help calling after him:)

Me: “Did you find overstock in the back room?”

You Gotta Be Nuts About Candy

, , , , | Working | January 13, 2019

(I work with some truly hilarious coworkers at a shop that sells a wide variety of unique gifts, stationery, art supplies, and home goods.)

Customer: *picking up an eraser shaped like an acorn* “Is this candy?”

Coworker: “If you’re brave, it’s candy.”

Tis The Season To Be Disorganized

, , , , | Right | December 20, 2018

(I work in a small-town gift boutique, and it is the 20th of December, so there are a lot of stressed — and bratty — customers coming in and out of the shop. A customer comes to check out.)

Me: “Is that everything for you today? That’s [price]. Do you want a bag, or would you like me to wrap it in tissue for you?”

Customer: “Oh, could you wrap it in tissue, please? That would be amazing! Thank you!”

(I go to wrap some tissue around it and I see the customer tense. I prepare for the worst.)

Customer: “Oh, sorry, but is there a price ticket? Could you remove it before you wrap it, please?”

Me: *going to damage control* “That’s my mistake, sorry! I should have done that, anyway; I’ll just get that.”

Customer: “No, not at all. I wouldn’t usually ask; it’s just that I’m adding this to a package I’m on my way to post, since it’s last posting date today! I don’t fancy sitting in the middle of town battling a roll of wrapping paper, so I appreciate the favour!”

Me: “Oh! Is it last posting day today?”

Customer: “Well, last for second class. I don’t love anyone enough to fork out for first class.” *as they leave* “Thank you so much. Have a great day!”

(When my coworker came back from lunch a while later, she told us she’d seen someone sitting on a bench nearby, wrangling a roll of wrapping paper and a roll of packing tape. I don’t know if that customer ever got their parcel in the mail on time, but they were very chipper for someone so disorganised.)

Next Time, Use Carrier Pigeons

, , , , | Right | December 7, 2018

(My boutique store has a couple of locations, and our inventory system is fairly rudimentary, so we often have to text photos of products to each other to show customers. The owner also likes to give out assignments and miscellaneous chores via text, so we always have our cell phones nearby in case we need them. I am helping a lady who is looking for a specific color vase.)

Me: “Hmm, it looks like we only have the light blue and the burgundy, but I do remember seeing a green or teal one at the other location last week. Would you like me to check on it for you?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I call the other store and confirm they have it, and the customer asks if she can see what it looks like, so I ask my coworker to text me some photos. I pull my phone out and show the photos to the customer.)

Customer: “Yes, okay, I like that one. Can you have it sent here and call me when I can pick it up?”

Me: “Of course!”

(I begin to text my coworker to set it aside.)

Customer: “You know, you really shouldn’t be on your cell phone during work.”

Me: *pause* “Beg your pardon?”

Customer: “It’s very unprofessional; it makes you look like a millennial, like you aren’t present.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I was letting my coworker know to set the vase aside for transfer. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t even have your phone with you.”

Me: “I was only able to show you photos of the product because of my phone. It’s one of the ways my coworkers and I communicate between stores, since our inventory system is pretty old-fashioned.”

Customer: “Whatever. You should just keep in mind that it’s rude, okay?”

Me: *another pause* “I will bear that in mind. Let’s get you rung up for that vase.”

This Is No Time To Be Calling

, , , , | Right | November 8, 2018

(I have closed and locked the door for the night, and am counting the till and doing closing duties. The lights are mostly off and the hours are clearly visible on the door. I hear something rattle the door, pause, rattle harder, then pound on it. I am just out of view of it, but I poke my head out to see a dark form in the doorway. I choose to ignore it until the phone rings. Curious, I answer.)

Me: “[Store]. We closed at 7:30. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “Hi. I’m trying to get in but the door is locked.”

Me: “Yes, sir, we closed at 7:30.”

Customer: “What time is it?”

Me: “7:48.”

Customer: “Well, you’re still there; can you let me in?”

Me: “No, sir, I stopped being paid three minutes ago. Our hours are on the door; feel free to come back when we’re open.”

(I hung up after that. He called back several times and I didn’t answer. Curious to see what messages he left for my coworkers.)

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