Unfiltered Story #199783

, | Unfiltered | June 29, 2020

I work in a souvenir shop so most of the customers are tourists. Because we have some interesting products for sale and on display in the window, I hear a lot of the same unoriginal, unfunny jokes every single day. One day however one man makes a joke I’ve never heard before.

Man: *points at a wool product* Is this made out of REAL penguin fur?
Me: *surprised that someone actually made a good, original joke* No, actually that’s fake penguin fur.

This sure made my day, since hearing the same old jokes told so many times a day can be quite exhausting.

Unfiltered Story #198684

, , , | Unfiltered | June 25, 2020

We are a small boutique who specialize in vintage and new furniture, as well as some fun and interesting gift ideas. A woman comes in and approaches the counter immediately.

Woman: “Hi, I need napkins for a party.”
Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry napkins.”
Woman: “Well you should. I need them.”

Then she left, looking annoyed.

Unfiltered Story #196533

, , , | Unfiltered | June 14, 2020

[Important notes: It was the weekend so the only people working were myself and an elderly volunteer I’ll call ‘N’, who basically hangs around being a delight and informing patrons how to go through the museum. This patron was a woman maybe in her 30s, leather jacket, tight jeans, sunglasses, rode a motorcycle up to the museum, very cheerful]

Patron: [As I’m getting her her ticket] Yeah, so I’m just in town to check out the Catholic schools. I’m thinking of sending my kids.

Me: Oh, that’s cool. Unfortunately I don’t know much about them, so I can’t help.

Patron: You’re not Catholic? What denomination are you?

Me: Oh, uh, I’m actually Jewish.

Patron: You’re /Jewish/? I’ve never met a Jew in my life. Do you mind if I ask some questions?

Me: [Trying to make light and also realizing that I don’t have a good excuse to send her on her way] Oh, suuuuuure, but uh, I don’t know how much help I can be, I’m not very traditional.

Patron: Oh, that’s ok! So, is it true you /don’t believe in Jesus/?

[And then we have a fifteen minute conversation where I patiently try to explain the philosophy of Judaism to someone who aggressively does not actually want to learn to philosophy of Judaism and only want to tell me how wrong I am]

[Until N comes in to see what’s going on]


[N explains, Patron leaves, I bang my head on the counter]

N: That’s why I /never/ talk religion in public. But my Jewish friends taught me a good joke. Do you want to hear it?

[She told me. It was really good. We traded Jewish jokes for the rest of the day. The patron left pleased (I guess????)]

Unfiltered Story #195850

, , , | Unfiltered | June 4, 2020

(A middle-aged woman walks in with a scowl on her face and marches up to the counter.)

Me: Hello, how are you?

Her: (very rudely) They called and said the candles I ordered came in today.

Me: Hmm, I haven’t received any shipments today. Do you know who called you? What kind of candles are they?

Her: Beeswax candles. They called and said they’re here.

Me: Oh, we don’t sell beeswax candles. You must have us confused with one of the other shops on this street.

Her: (exasperated sigh) No, it’s this store.

Me: I’m very sorry, but I’m the owner, I definitely don’t sell beeswax candles, and I haven’t received any orders for candles this week. In fact, I don’t have any orders placed for the candles I do sell. I’m the only one who has been here today and I didn’t call you. Are you sure it’s not the shop right across the street?

Her: Oh my God, NO, it’s THIS store!

Me: Again, I’m very sorry. I really don’t know what else to tell you, but there’s no way you ordered beeswax candles from us. It must be another store. What about [name of store]? They’re at the end of the block.

Her: (throwing her hands up in the air in disgust) “UGH!”

(She walked out in a huff and I never saw her again. I have always wondered if she figured out which store she ordered the candles from. If she did, she certainly didn’t have the decency to come back and apologize to me for being so rude. Alternatively, was there really an order placed? Did she dream it all? Was she completely delusional? It continues to mystify me ten years later.)

Canada Doesn’t Need You, Either

, , , , , | Right | May 30, 2020

I work in a gift shop at an airport for small charter flights and smaller carriers. We serve many American tourists at our store. Most people who come in are passengers leaving on outbound flights to other areas in the province.

Customer: “Do you accept American?”

Me: “Yes, we accept US dollars on par.”

Customer: “Okay, I would like to get these items here.”

Me: “All right, no problem.” *Scans in items* “Your total comes to $17.80.”

The customer hands me $100 USD. I hand back $82.20 CDN. The customer is holding up the change, looking confused.

Customer: “What is this? What is this? What is this? Do I need this? What is this? Why do I need this? What is this? I don’t need this!”

Me: “That is your change for the transaction, ma’am.”

The customer ignores me and turns to her friend, sounding annoyed.

Customer: “Why would she give me this? What is this for? I don’t need this!”

I just give a blank stare while the customer throws money on the table.

Customer: “Why do I need this? I don’t need this! Give me American!

Me: “We cannot give back change in foreign currency.”

The customer grabs the money.


Me: “Well, ma’am, you are a visitor to Canada and those are Canadian dollars.”

Customer: “Argh! I don’t need this!”

The customer stormed out.

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