Teenage Scream

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2018

(I work in a pharmacy. I am filling in as an over-the-counter floor manager while our salaried management is out to meetings. Since I am an hourly supervisor, I am not allowed to do some things, like cash pulls or theft stops, but everything has been smooth throughout the day. It should be noted that at the time of this story, I am several months pregnant, but I am still getting around normally. I am crouching behind the counter for supplies when I hear a customer walk by.)

Me: *popping my head just over the counter* “Good morning!”

Teenage Boy: “Jesus! Uh… hi…”

(The kid looks a bit startled, but I don’t think much of it since I kind of came out of nowhere. I come out from behind the counter to see him flipping through the pegs of condoms. He is acting very sketchy, so I try to stay out of sight but where I can still watch him. Sure enough, he pockets a small pack of condoms. I cut the corner just as he is about to put another pack of condoms in his coat pocket. He drops them on the floor and I exaggeratedly struggle to bend over picking them up.)

Me: *poking my belly out* “Man, let me tell you from experience, I would not recommend this kind.”

(The kid practically ran out of the store, ditching the condoms in his pocket onto a nearby display on the way out.)

Wants Their Meal Souped Up

, , , | Right | June 22, 2018

(I take a couple’s entrees to their table and let them know I’ll be back with their sides soon.)

Me: “Here are your salads and sauces.”

Customer: “Where is the rest of my meal?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “This can’t be all my food. My husband has much more food than I do.”

Me: “Well, your husband ordered surf and turf with a side of salad and fries. You’ve only asked for soup and a sandwich. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes. But why did he get more than me?”

(Facepalm.)

Your Bad Joke Doesn’t Scan

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2018

(I’m a twenty-something woman who unfortunately looks much younger, and I’m infamous for my innocence regarding life in general. I have just been hired at a very well-known grocery store that sells everything under the sun. It’s really late and quiet, and I’m cashiering the only lane that sells cigarettes. The nearest cashier to me is a good seven lanes away. Suddenly I see two boys in their late teens literally push a younger teenage boy — who is holding something behind his back — into my line and run off. Immediately suspicious, I prepare myself for a problem.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Kid: “Uh, well… I just wanted to buy something.”

Me: “Well, you’ve come to the right place. Anything I can help you with?”

(The kid gets really, really nervous and suddenly plops a small box onto the conveyor belt. It’s some sort of medicine or something, unfamiliar to me, but it doesn’t prompt for a “see ID,” so I ring it up without fanfare. The kid just stares at me. It’s getting awkward, so I hurry the transaction along.)

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

Kid: “Aren’t you embarrassed?”

Me: “Uh… Should I be?”

Kid: “Like… that I’m buying this. And only this. And we’re young, and alone, and you’re a girl.”

Me: “I… What?”

(Kind of confused and creeped out at the same time, I kind of smile and nod, then repeat the price. I can hear his friends on the other side of the register lane trying not to laugh.)

Kid: *suddenly throws up his hands and marches toward the exit doors, leaving the box with me* “DANG IT, GUYS! I TOLD YOU IT WOULDN’T BE FUNNY! I’M NEVER LISTENING TO YOU AGAIN!”

(Cue boisterous laughter from the other two guys as they ran after him. I just stood there, realizing that I was a part of a joke, but desperately confused. Joke’s on them I guess, as I had no idea what the product they were buying was! My manager popped up right then to tell me to take a break, and I was never more happy to do so.)

Rude Doesn’t Recognize Itself

, , , | Right | June 22, 2018

(I’m working in the concessions part of the theater, and there are only two cashiers, including me. Anyone that orders food from the kitchen is asked to wait all the way at the end of the registers for their food number to be called and delivered. There is a sign there that clearly says, “Hot Food Pickup.” There’s about seven people in my coworker’s line. My register is past my coworker, coming from the kitchen, so as I walk by, I gesture to the person immediately behind the people my coworker is already helping.)

Me: “Sir, I can help you right over here. Sir, welcome to [Movie Theater]; how may I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yes, can I have—” *gets about halfway through his order*

Customer #2: *to my coworker* “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I’ve been waiting in this line for five minutes and no one has come to help me, but that girl—” *points at me* “—just called the next person over from this line to walk over there!”

Coworker: “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not a line; that’s where people go to pick up their food.”

(My coworker looks over at me, baffled, seeing that there hasn’t even been a cashier near a cash register over on that side delivering orders in a couple minutes, only our manager passing out food.)

Customer #2: “Well, I want you to help me right now! My movie has already started! I’m about to never come back to this theater; the service here is horrible!”

Me: *listening as I’m filling up my next customer’s popcorn bag, I turn around* “Ma’am, I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but there are twenty minutes of commercials; there’s a good chance your movie hasn’t even started.”

(The rude customer ignores me and starts shouting orders at my coworker; she now has to apologize to the next people in line as she takes this lady. At this point she’s made so much of a scene other people in line start talking about her and pointing; everyone knows she’s the one who made the mistake, not us. [Customer #2] quickly snaps around to a younger couple who’s explaining what happened to an older couple that just came back from the bathroom.)

Customer #2: “Are you talking about me? How dare you?! It’s incredibly rude to point. What is wrong with people nowadays?! I don’t think I’ll ever come back here.”

(After [Customer #2] finally leaves, I go back to the kitchen to tell my manager what happened. Amazingly, he didn’t hear a thing, despite [Customer #2]’s loud voice.)

Manager: “Well, you know sometimes we get people here like that. They just don’t know any better.”

Me: “[Manager], if she had come up to me with that tone, my response would have gotten me fired on the spot.”

Behaved Without Cockroach Reproach

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2018

(I work with a few other people at the front desk of a suite-based hotel. It’s vacation season, and the lobby is super busy. A girl who looks about 17 comes in and bee-lines for the concierge.)

Coworker: “Hello, miss, how can I help you today?”

Girl: “Uh, there’s a problem in our suite.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the matter?”

(The girl glances around, leans across the counter, and beckons [Coworker] towards her. She says something to him in a very low tone, and he immediately goes pale.)

Coworker: *leaning back* “Oh, wow! I am so sorry you have to deal with that. We will take care of that right away. Is there anything I can do for you or family in the meantime?”

Girl: *at a normal volume* “Nah, don’t worry about it. I took care of most of it. Just thought you ought to know before you get anyone else in. Take care!”

(She turns and leaves.)

Me: “What was that all about?”

Coworker: “Only the chillest guest ever.” *lowers voice to whisper* “She wanted to tell me that she found some cockroaches in their room and that we should take care of it before we rent the suite out to anyone else.”

Me: “Are they asking us to comp them on the suite?”

Coworker: “She isn’t even asking to be moved! Said they’re checking out tomorrow, anyway!”

Me: *stunned silence*

Coworker: “I’m going to go make her a basket.”

(We have gift baskets with candy bars, snacks, and coupons to various local businesses and restaurants for VIPs. With all the unreasonable complaints we get, it was MIND-BLOWING for someone to come in with a legitimate issue like that without getting angry or making any demands. We still thank our lucky stars that someone that polite got the room with cockroaches. And yes, we immediately scheduled an appointment to have the room treated after they left.)

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