I’m a cashier for a regional store chain. We fundraise for charities several times a year, and we are required to ask the customer at the end of the transaction if they would like to donate. If we don’t ask, then the customer gets the two-liter soda that’s at our register.

I start scanning the customer’s items: she has two separate transactions, with the last one being WIC (government assistance).

Customer: *Extremely persistent* “You never asked me to donate, so I get this soda.”

Me: “We aren’t required to ask until the end of the transaction, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, you never asked!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not done with your transaction. I will ask you then so that it doesn’t interfere with my scanning.”

I finish scanning the items in the first transaction. I speak sort of passively due to irritation.

Me: “Would you like to donate a dollar toward [Charity]?”

Customer: “Oh, no, thank you.”

It irritates me that she doesn’t bother to donate after creating a fuss about not getting the soda. But she has a plan.

I start with her next order. She starts telling me how she gets the soda since I didn’t ask, and I explain again how I don’t ask until the end. The WIC system messes up, so I call a manager over to fix it.

Customer: *To my manager* “She didn’t ask about the donation, so I get this soda.”

Manager: “Ma’am, she hasn’t finished the transaction.”

Customer: “But she never asked! So I’m supposed to get the soda!”

My manager finishes processing the WIC.

Manager: “Fine, you can take it. It isn’t very good anyway.”

We gave her the soda, and the lady walked out with a disgustingly smug look. My manager was just as ticked off as I was, and she told me not to worry about it since she knew it wasn’t my fault.

Related:
This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2
This Is Soda-Pressing

I work as a bagger at a grocery store. A man comes in to buy a couple of items and his total is about $3. He is paying with a debit card.

Customer: “Oh, I wanted cashback, but the card machine is asking for my PIN.”

Cashier: “Go ahead and put your PIN in; I’ll fix it.”

Customer: *Types in his PIN* “Oh. Now it’s asking for my PIN again. I just put it in.”

Cashier: “Let me see.” *Looks at card reader* “Go ahead and put your PIN in again. I can start another transaction if you need cashback.”

Customer: “Okay.” *Retypes his PIN* “Okay, it says to remove my card.” *Removes the card*

Cashier: “It’s telling me that you asked for [amount] in cashback.”

Customer: “How much?”

Cashier: “[Amount].”

Customer: “Oh. That’s my PIN. My bad.”

He took the cashback and his purchase and left the store. The cashier and I could barely wait until he left before we burst out laughing!

Related:
PIN-Headed, Part 14
PIN-Headed, Part 13
PIN-Headed, Part 12
PIN-Headed, Part 11
PIN-Headed, Part 10

I have the very unfortunate luck to have bad seasonal allergies during this world health crisis.

I need to run some errands that my grandma normally does, but it’s safer for me to go, instead. Today, my allergies are especially bad, even with my medication, but it’s my day off of work so I gotta tough it out.

I’m at the grocery store — with a mask on, of course — when a woman walks by me with a strong-smelling perfume. Certain scents bother me a lot, and lucky me, this is one of those. I start to have a sneezing attack. Yes, I’m sneezing into my elbow. When I finish, I notice that the same woman is glaring at me — without a mask, might I add.

Smelly Perfume Woman: *Sharply* “If you’re sick, stay home.”

Me: *Caught off guard* “I have allergies. I’m not sick.”

Smelly Perfume Woman: “And I’m the Queen of England. Leave.”

Me: “After I finish my shopping.” 

I briskly walk down a random aisle in order to get away before her perfume causes me to sneeze again. I think that’s the end of it. I finish my shopping and check out, no problem. While loading into my car, I end up sneezing again. Who’s walking by but [Smelly Perfume Woman]? Just my luck.

Smelly Perfume Woman: “Why the h*** are you still here?! You’ll infect us all.”

Me: “Says the person who’s not wearing a mask.”

Smelly Perfume Woman: “I have a medical condition!”

Me: *Under my breath* “Last time I checked, stupidity isn’t a medical condition.”

Smelly Perfume Woman: *Snapping* “You need to go home if you’re sick!”

She turns her nose up and struts off, leaving me with a raised eyebrow.

Me: “That really just happened.”

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 16
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 15
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 14
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 13
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 12

I need to pick up some condoms and it’s my first time doing this. I’m looking at them because let’s face it; I never bought them before, I am nervous about that evening, this store is frequented by my classmates and teachers and the woman I am meeting is gonna meet me at the store. So I’m sorta kinda on edge.

I feel a finger tap my shoulder. It’s this typical soccer-mom type and her kid is standing there.

Soccer Mom: “Put that back… go somewhere else.”

Me: *Nervously.* “W-why?”

Soccer Mom: *Loud whisper.* “This is a family store! There are children here!”

Me: “I kinda need these.”

Soccer Mom: “Put those back! You’re like what – sixteen!? God you teenagers! Now put that back or I’m gonna grab a manager and tell him a minor is buying condoms!”

I am of consenting age, but I don’t want to cause a scene so I put them back. She then menaced me as I got other things, but I wanted to stay low key because I was worried and time was running out.

So I did the insane, comical, rational thing.

I bought whipped cream and cherries. Her face goes red when I get the cherries because I stare her down. Yeah, gonna harass me and shame me… well f*** you!

I didn’t get lucky that night but I made a bomb-a** cherry coke cake.

Every time I go out with my cousin he gets mistaken as an employee at least once while we’re out. Seriously, every time. For my cousin’s birthday last month, I got him a shirt with, “No, I Don’t Work Here!” written on the front and back. We laughed and moved on.

A little while ago he and I go out to a grocery store together to get stuff and he wears the shirt. He is helping my short self get some stuff off a shelf, passing me stuff as he grabs it when I hear a huffing sound. I look around and on my cousin’s other side is a scowling woman. 

Woman: “When you’re done helping her I need you to come help me.”

My cousin looks at her, looks back at me, turns to face her, and then gestures to his shirt. She turns visibly red before huffing a bit more. 

Woman: “That is entirely inappropriate to wear while you’re on the clock. I’ll speak to your manager about this.”

She shuffles off muttering about being rude. I burst out laughing as my cousin just looks totally defeated. My theory is she knew she was wrong but didn’t want to admit it. No manager came looking for us so I don’t know if she ever actually complained about him.

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 35
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 34
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 33
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 32
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 31