Frying Up Some Dope Beats Tonight

, , , | Right | October 23, 2017

(I work at a student-run bar as a bartender. We’re doing a hamburger sale, so I’m frying hamburgers in an adjacent room of the bar. A customer comes up to me while I’m plunging hamburgers in a deep-fryer and says:)

Customer: “Hi, are you the DJ?”

(I couldn’t even answer.)

It’s All In The Delivery (Cancellation)

, , , , | Right | October 23, 2017

(I work as a customer service manager at a furniture store. We do thousands of deliveries a day. As such, we have very strict rules that, while you can pick the day of the delivery, it must be a day where you can be home all day long. We call you the day before we come out and narrow it down to a window, but when the order is first created, all we can say is a time between 7:00 am and 7:00 pm. If you want to make any changes to the order or reschedule, you must call our corporate office by 10:00 am the day before the delivery. We generally call to give our customers their window around 1:00 pm the day before the delivery. So, if you want to reschedule, you must do so before you have the window. Once you have the window, it’s set and cannot be changed, and any attempt to do so will involve a hefty cancellation fee, because at this point the items are already loaded on the truck. This call takes place in the afternoon before a customer’s delivery.)

Customer: “I just was speaking to the person who was giving me my delivery window, and the time might hit some issues, as I will be gone to take my kids to school and will be gone around fifteen minutes. If the delivery guys arrive in that time and can just wait, that would be great.”

Me: “I can give them a note, and they will wait a few minutes, but if they have to wait too long they will be forced to leave for their next stop. They won’t be able to come back, and we will have to charge you a new delivery fee.”

Customer: “Uh, no. That’s not going to happen, because I’m telling you about this now. I was told I can change anything I want 24 hours before the delivery.”

(At this point I want to be an a** and point out that he doesn’t have 24 hours anymore, as his delivery is scheduled for the early morning, and it is currently the afternoon of the day before, but I decide not to nit-pick.)

Me: “Actually, sir, if you look at the delivery agreement given to you, it says that you must call before—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I was told I could change things if I wanted, and I only just now received the window! I can’t be there for the whole window!”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I can’t promise that my drivers will—”

Customer: “Cancel it!”

Me: “Sir? Are you saying you want me to cancel your order?”

Customer: “Yes! Cancel the whole thing!”

(I don’t play this game. When someone says they want to cancel and get a refund, I’m happy to oblige, even though this is a two-thousand-dollar order.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I can do that for you. You should see the money back on your account in three to five business days.”

Customer: “Good.”

Me: “Have a nice day.”

(I cancelled the ticket and refunded his credit card. His wife called back twenty minutes later and remade the ticket and was able to reschedule for Sunday. I really wish I could have heard their conversation when he had to tell her that he canceled their new bed and mattress.)

Jokes Are Your Real Calling

, , , , , | Right | October 23, 2017

(I work in an outbound call center. Customers fill out information online and we, along with others in our industry, then make calls… a lot of them. This leads to a lot of people getting irate. Sometimes we win them over; sometimes we can’t. This guy, though…)

Me: “Hi, is this [Customer]?”

Customer: “You are the ninth person to call me!”

Me: “I’m the ninth caller? Do I win the car?”

(This brought him to a stop and made him laugh. While he and I did have a good conversation, ultimately, we weren’t able to help him. Call of the day, though!)

No Such Thing As A Clean Getaway

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2017

(I’m a housekeeper for an apartment building. The residents can get free cleaning every day, or decline if they wish to. There’s an old man that lives alone with his dog, and lately he’s been declining cleaning. We maids are happy, because it means less work for us. One day, he moves out.)

Manager: “Okay, get a crew in there for some deep cleaning!”

(Crew goes and returns.)

Crew: “You’re not going to believe this!”

(The manager went in to see. The apartment was totally destroyed. The manager called the police. Turned out the dog had some kind of untreated infection on his skin and rubbed on the walls, causing massive stains everywhere, and the old man had an infection on his head and bled all over the bed. The old man was arrested and fined for cruelty to animals and causing thousands of dollars in damage!)

Don’t Want To LEAP To Conclusions, But…

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2017

(I work at a help desk for a hotel management software.)

Receptionist: “The software isn’t working.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Receptionist: “I’m trying to change the departure date, but it doesn’t let me do it.”

Me: “What date are you trying to set?”

Receptionist: “February 30.”

Me: “Try with February 28.”

Receptionist: “Oh, now it’s working. Why is there a problem with February 30?”

Me: “…”

Page 1/3,88912345...Last
Next »