China White

| CA, USA | Language & Words

(I work at an optometry near the division of the primarily Indian and Chinese areas of the city. Everyone in the office is able to at least speak Mandarin Chinese. An older Chinese patient enters.)

Me: “Hello, nihao.”

Patient: *in Mandarin* “Do you speak Mandarin?”

Me: *in Mandarin* “I speak it, yes. Do you have any problems that I can help you with?”

Patient: *in Mandarin* “Do you understand? You understand Chinese?”

Me: *in Mandarin* “I understand it. Do you have anything I can help with?”

Patient: *takes out a broken pair of glasses, points at the hinge and gives it to me*

Me: *in Mandarin* “Give me three minutes.”

(Later, after I fix the hinge and give it back to the patient, her daughter comes in and as they’re about to leave.)

Patient: *to daughter in Mandarin* “Why did they hire a white boy? He doesn’t understand Chinese.”


Don’t Sweats It

, | Louisville, KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I work part-time for now and have several days in a row with no work. One day I pre-order a pizza from a chain that assembles your pizza to order a la Chipotle and then roll out of bed in my sweats to go pick it up. It’s busy; there are several people behind me ordering in person. I get to the cashier)

Me: “Online order for [My Name].”

Cashier: “Okay, please sign the receipt; here is your cup for your fountain drink.”

(I wander off to fill my cup, then sit at a table to wait for my pizza. After about ten minutes I get a little curious as it usually only takes five-seven for my pizza to be ready. I look up from my phone and see that the oven is empty. A manager sees me looking and calls over.)

Manager: “Did you order and pay?”

Me: “Yeah…”

(Cashier looks behind her and sees my pizza still waiting to be put in the oven.)

Cashier: “Oh, shoot!”

(I look back down at my phone to keep reading my book, but then the manager is at my table handing me a card for a free pizza. I try to say no, but he insists so I accept and go back to my book again. I get my pizza, I eat in store, and as I’m leaving I see the cashier now wiping down tables.)

Cashier: “Sorry again about your wait!”

Me: “Girl, you just saw me eat a whole pizza in the middle of the afternoon wearing the sweats I slept in last night. I don’t have anywhere else to be. Don’t worry.”

Roundup: The Most Popular Stories Of The Week


Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (October 17th – October 23rd 2016)!

See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic!


Pregnancy Can Attack From The Sides

| Maryville, TN, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A cashier has worked at this particular store with me for three years through college. She’s kept her pregnancy fairly quiet as she’s a private person. She’s finally showing.)

Customer #1: “Congratulations!”

Cashier: “Thank you.”

Customer #1: “Was it planned?”

Cashier: “Nope. I was trying for a puppy.”

Customer #1: *leaves*

Customer #2: “Oh! You’re pregnant! But you’re so young! You know how that happens, don’t you?”

Cashier: “I really don’t; would you mind explaining? In detail.”

Customer #2: *leaves*

Customer #3: “Were you planning a baby?”

Cashier: “Well, I was really hoping for a velociraptor but luckily I get nine months to plan for a baby instead.”

(Customer #3 leaves. I walk over to the cashier.)

Me: “You’d think after three years of seeing you every week they’d learn you don’t discuss your personal life at work.”

Cashier: “You’d think. Who asks if a baby is planned? Crazy.”


Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness, Part 2

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I work in my family’s grocery store, which has been in my family since 1956. We’ve had the same hours at least since my parents purchased it in 1993. We close at 7 pm every Monday through Friday night. It is currently 7:05. The doors are locked, and I am cleaning the deli slicer, which is clearly visible from the front doors. An elderly man walks up to the door, looks at the “Closed” sign hanging on the door, and begins incessantly banging on the door. I look at my coworker who is counting money at the counter and agree to answer the door.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “All I need is a d*** gallon of milk.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ve already shut down the registers.”

(The customer proceeds to push me back with the door, which opens inward, walks across the front of the store to the milk cooler, and grabs a gallon of milk.)

Coworker: “I can only ring this up if you have cash.”

(Customer throws five dollars down on the counter and stomps out the door, cussing my coworker and I out the entire time.)

Me: “Well, he was nice.”

Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

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