This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 58

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I am working at a popular book store chain which has a membership card. This particular customer, hands me her card, but I see that it is expired.)

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like your card is expired. Would you like to renew it?”

Customer: “It can’t be expired. I signed up for automatic renewal.”

Me: “That’s odd. Let me call member services and see what’s going on.”

(I call member services and they confirm that the customer was signed up for automatic renewal, but that her credit card was expired, so the renewal didn’t go through. I explain this to the customer.)

Customer: “That’s impossible. Credit cards don’t expire.”

Me: “Well, I can show you the expiration date on your card. It’s right here.”

Customer: “Right, but the bank sent me a new card. It has the same number and everything.”

Me: “But member services didn’t have your new card’s expiration date, so they weren’t able to charge you.”


(We go back and forth like this, with the customer shouting at both me and a manager, until another customer offers to let the first customer borrow her membership card.)

Me: *to the manager, after both customers leave* “That was nice, but now the same thing is going to happen the next time she comes in.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 57
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55


As Daft A Brush

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(A lady of around 60 approaches the checkout, brandishing a pack of two toothbrushes.)

Customer: “There are two brushes in here!”

Me: “Ah, yes. It’s a manufacturer’s promotion. You get a second brush free.”

Customer: “But it’s in the packet.”

Me: “Well, because the promotion is by the manufacturer rather than by us, they put the free brush right there in the packet with the other one.”

Customer: “I only want one.”

Me: “The second one’s free…”

Customer: “I only want one toothbrush. I don’t need a second.”

Me: “Well… you could just save the second one until you need it. Save yourself another trip down here next time.”

Customer: “I want ONE.”

Me: “Do you have family? Give the free brush to someone! It’s free!”

Customer: “I want a packet with ONE brush in it. You must have some in the back.”

Me: “Sorry, only these ones at the moment–”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I just want to buy a toothbrush!”

Me: “If you buy this, you can take the second brush out… and throw it away!”

(Customer paused for a moment.)

Me: “You don’t even have to leave the shop. Once you’ve paid, you can open it right here and I’ll dispose of the second brush for you.”

(She insisted on speaking to the manager for a while but went with my plan in the end. She paid the asking price, opened the packet, took one brush home and gave the free one to the manager to throw away.)

Shot Yourself In The Foot

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I’m stocking shelves when a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you not sell kangaroo meat anymore?”

Me: “It should be over this way; however, it may have moved somewhere else.”

(As I take the customer to where I’m pretty sure the kangaroo meat is kept, he continues talking.)

Customer: “It must be because they’ve stopped the shooting. No one knows how to shoot anymore, so there’s no one to shoot the kangaroos! That’s why you don’t have any! People these days, they don’t know how to shoot!”

(At this point we reach the right section, and sure enough, the fridge is packed with various brands of kangaroo meat.)

Me: “Here it is.”

Customer: “Oh.”


Dutifully Confused

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work at a grocery store chain near my house. On this particular day I’m off but have stopped in to grab some snack items. While I’m loading my cart up with chips, soda, and other good stuff one of our regular customers comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hey, don’t you work here?”

Me: “I do, but I’m off duty today. I just need some munchies for a party I’m hosting.”

Customer: “You know you really should be helping folk if you work here.”

Me: “Erm… yes, but as I said I’m not working today. Today is my day off.”

Customer: “You work here, and you’re not doing anything right now. Put the cart down and help me find some stuff on my list or I’m reporting you to your manager!”

Me: “Before I do that sir, can I ask you a question?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Where do you work?”

Customer: “Huh? At [Nearby Business Firm].”

Me: “So what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at your job?”

Customer: “What? It’s Saturday! I don’t work today!”

Me: “Well, neither do I.”

(The customer stares at me dumbfounded.)

Customer: “But… but… you’re here! You can’t be here if you aren’t working! That confuses people!”

(It took another ten minutes of explaining that yes, retail workers get days off and are allowed to still make use of their place of business before he finally went off to find one of my coworkers.)


Type 1 A**-Hole

| At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I work as a cashier at a fairly high-end grocery store, meaning that for the most part, the patrons are wealthy, and the food is pretty overpriced. We’re currently raising money to help kids with Type 1 diabetes. This is what happened when I asked a customer for a $1 donation. Keep in mind that his purchase was upwards of $300.)

Me: “Sir, may I ask if you’re interested in donating one dollar to-”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *assuming he’s hard of hearing, or simply missed what I said* “I’m sorry, I was just asking if you’d be willing to donate one dollar for children with-”

Customer: “Oh, I heard what you said! I just don’t have that kind of money. Not all of us are trust fund babies, hun!”

Me: *finally taking the hint* “All right, sir, your total is $355.55.”

Customer: “Are you trying to make me feel like a selfish pig? Because it sounds like you’re demeaning me right now. I could have you fired for this.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I just wanted to let you know that you can swipe your card now.”

Customer: “You do realize that this cart is full of necessities, right? My family would die without these groceries.” *in fact, his cart is full of junk food*

Me: “Of course, sir. Have a great day.”

Customer: “Well, now that you’ve made me feel like a a**hole, I don’t feel like enjoying my day anymore. I can’t believe this.”

Me: “…”

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