I’m helping a customer who is looking for a Bluetooth outdoor speaker.

Me: “This one is best for picnics or trips to the beach, since it’s waterproof, and—”

My manager steps in and interrupts.

Manager: “—oooor, you could get this speaker instead! It’s much louder and only a little bit heavier, but that weight really packs a punch with the volume!”

Me: “[Manager], we already discarded that option as it’s not waterproof.”

Manager: *Ignoring me, talking to the customer.* “[My Name], means well, but she’s not as clued up on electronics as some of the gents. You look like a customer who wants to impress with the bass of their outdoor speaker.”

Me: “No. He’s a customer who wants something waterproof enough to survive his, how did you put it? “Army of three children, all under nine years old, who have enough water pistols each to start a war.”?”

Customer: “That’s what I said! I’ll take the one that you recommended.”

The customer takes the box I had taken out for them, and is on their way. My manager rounds back on me after the customer leaves.

Manager: “YOU NEVER SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF A CUSTOMER!”

Me: “Don’t speak to me like that in front of a customer, and you won’t be spoken to like that in front of a customer.”

The customer turned back at the sound of my manager’s raised voice.

Customer: “I do hope that [My Name] here isn’t going to get into trouble for picking out for me exactly the speaker I needed?”

Manager: “This is an internal staffing matter, sir. I wish you a good day.”

Customer: “All the same, I will be calling your head office to praise [My Name] on their excellent customer service. I’ll be sure to mention the exact date and time… just in case it happens to match up with any disciplinary action they might have coming their way.”

The customer and my manager stare daggers at each other for a while before the manager tells me to go about my tasks and politely says goodbye to the customer.

That customer actually followed through and called the head office to sing my praises! It didn’t come to anything, of course, but it put my usually petulant and man-baby-like manager in his place for a while!

Our store manager is one of the worst people I’ve ever met. A new cashier starts. She is seventeen, nervous, and three shifts into the job. She’s also just found out she’s pregnant and has horrible morning sickness.

Mid-shift, she’s in the bathroom next to the break room, loudly vomiting. The manager and I both hear it. 

She comes out pale and shaking.

Cashier: “I’m really sorry… can I please go home? I can’t keep anything down.”

The manager doesn’t even look sympathetic.

Manager: “If you’re not back here in thirty minutes with a doctor’s note, don’t bother coming back at all.”

The girl bursts into tears, runs out of the store, and, unsurprisingly, never comes back.

A few years later, after I was thankfully let go myself, I heard what finally happened to that manager:

She was escorted out of the store in handcuffs for financial fraud.

Some people get the ending they earn.

Related:
A Sickening Lack Of Empathy

I spent ten years conducting English-speaking tours of the Colosseum in Rome, Italy. This was the one question I got from a tourist that stumped me in all that time:

Tourist: “Is this where Jesus fought the lions?”

Me: “I… uh… no.”

Tourist: *Disappointed.* “Oh.”

The tourist’s spouse then chastised her:

Tourist’s Spouse: “Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone knows that happened in Jerusalem.”

Tourist: “Oh yeah!”

Some of the other tourists are chuckling at the interaction. One of the teenage boys says:

Teenage Boy Tourist: “That sounds like a bad-a** movie!”

I couldn’t help but agree!

I worked in retail for ten years, and only once did I have the perfect comeback ready at the perfect time.

I work in the hot food counter of a grocery store. I have just informed a woman that we’re cooking up a fresh batch of fried chicken. It needs to be noted that we’re both White.

Me: “Ma’am, we’re out of the fried chicken for the moment. We should have some ready in about half an hour.”

Customer: “Because you sell too many to the ethnics!”

Me: *Making a “huh?” face.*

Customer: “You know. The Blacks, mostly! They love fried chicken, and there are too many of them! There’s not enough to go around anymore!”

Me: “Ma’am, we sell food to the community regardless of skin color, and I’d ask you not to make such comments around me.”

Customer: “Oh, come on! You and I are the same. We need to stick together in these times.”

Me: “You and I are not the same, ma’am.”

Customer: “You’re young and going through some rebellious phase. When you’re older and have had things taken from you by invaders to this country, you’ll see that we’re cut from the same cloth.”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re cut from a piece of cloth I wouldn’t even wipe my a** with.”

She gasped and ran off to find my manager. She found out it was difficult to make her complaint concreting my manager was Black.

When my manager asked me about it, and I told him, he just laughed. Then he said:

Manager: “She was right, though.”

Me: *Looking shocked.*

Manager: “I do love fried chicken…”

I’ve been in my office job for a few months now. I’ve met most people, but I’m still getting to know a few. One guy is known as Caffeine Carl (name changed, but still begins with a ‘C’). I have never officially spoken to him, but today I need to check in on him for something.

Me: “Hey, Carl, you need to sign off on this and the deadline is today, so…”

Without looking away from his task, in fact, without moving at all save for his hands, he takes the document from my hands, signs exactly where he needs to (without looking) and wordlessly hands it back.

Me: “…thanks?”

He remains hyper-focused on his task, and I return the document to the manager.

Manager: “Get everyone’s sign off?”

Me: “Yeah… including Carl. Is he okay?”

Manager: “Caffeine Carl? Oh yeah, he’s fine.”

Me: “He seems, a bit…”

Manager: “He has more coffee in a day than I do in a week. Is it healthy? Nah. Has his left eye not blinked since April? Likely. Does he have the best productivity out of everyone in the entire office? Absolutely.”

Me: “Well… okay then? Does he ever talk?”

Manager: “Only if he really doesn’t like you.”

Phew!