Black Friday Roundup

| Right | November 24, 2017

For many of our readers, Black Friday is the most dreaded day of the year.

Black Friday can bring out the worst in customers and the craziest stories about people clamoring for sales, sales, SALES!

Here are tales of Black Friday horrors — with a few that will give you hope that Black Friday might be not so bad after all.

Not Quite As Provocative As I Recall – I don’t think that toy’s called what you think it is…

Because Everything On The Internets Is Private – SHHHH. It’s a secret!

Door Busted – Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup.

He Needs To Be Taken Outside And Quartered – There are some days when change is a bad idea.

They Crossed A Line – Act like a jerk. Get treated like a jerk!

Suddenly Thankful For Health Insurance – On Black Friday, everything is for sale. Right?

How I Met My Dinosaur – Black Friday can be romantic, too!

She’s Been Placed On The Blacklist – It’s Black Friday, not Bigot Friday.

Black Friday Of The Dead – Even the undead want good deals.

Whack Friday – When the good customers outweigh the bad ones.

Would you like to share your own Black Friday tale?  We’d love to read it in the comments, or submit it here!





A Triple Threat

, , , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I work at a fast food place. A customer comes up to the front counter.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I ordered a triple burger and you only gave me a double.”

(I have just gotten off my break.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. My coworker must have gotten the wrong order. May I see the burger?”

(He hands me the bag, which has a triple burger in it.)

Me: “Sir, that is the triple burger.”

(He huffs and walks away only to come back a minute later with the bag.)

Customer: “If it’s a triple burger, why does it only have two pieces of meat?”

Me: “May I see it?”

(Carefully, I grab the burger by the wrapper and open it up, using the wrapper, and count three.)

Me: “Sir, there are three.”

Customer: “What? Where?”

(I point and count out three, still holding it by the wrapper.)

Customer: “You just touched it! Why would you touch it?”

Me: “Sir, I was very careful; I only touched the wrapper.”

Customer: “Can I get a new one anyway?”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

(I took his food and threw it away and had a new burger made, so he wouldn’t get a second for free like he wanted.)

Now It’s A Party!

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(As I’m working as hostess one night, a woman with two children around the age of 12 comes in.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. How many are in your party?”

Customer: “Hi, we have eight and two kids.”

Me: “Oh, okay, so, ten. Let me just set up your—”

Customer: “No! Are you dumb? I said, ‘eight and two kids.’”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that is ten.”


Me: “Ma’am, as long as your kids are old enough to sit in regular seats, you have a party of ten. If I sit you at a table for eight, you won’t have room for two people.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Party of ten.”

Me: *internally screams*

This Might Have Been A Mis-Steak

, , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I work in a restaurant. I’m a coeliac, so have to avoid gluten, which means anything like bread, pasta, etc. Because of that, I often get sent to tables when customers have allergies so I can help them navigate the menu.)

Customer: “I’m allergic to wheat!”

Me: “Okay, here are our options that are wheat- and gluten-free.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have the steak, but make sure it’s gluten-free; I’m allergic!”

Me: *goes into a lengthy speech about how we’re careful in the kitchen, use separate cutting boards, etc.* “Anything for a starter, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’ll have garlic bread.”

Me: “…”

Some Of Your Clients Are Ice Cold

, , , , , | Right | November 24, 2017

(I take incoming calls at my office and direct them as needed. There are times I will take my lunch at the desk and answer calls. This is one of those days, and I have just sat back down with a hot meal when the phone rings.)

Me: “[Office], how can I help you?”

Client: “Hi, this is [Client].” *pauses* “I just noticed the time! Are you on your lunch break?”

Me: “I am; I just sat down, actually.” *laughs* “This gives my food time to cool off; it’s fresh from the microwave. How can I help you, [Client]?”

(She spends 50 minutes asking me questions, sometimes repetitive ones that I’ve already answered in length, before she finally winds down. I have gone from pleasant to agitated with time, because I’m hungry and my lunch break is almost over.)

Client: *sounding gleeful* “I bet your food is ice cold now, isn’t it?”

Me: “It is.”

Client: *laughs and hangs up*

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