Banking On It Being An Actual Bank

| USA | Money

(A tired looking customer walks up to my window without a word and sets a bank deposit bag on the counter. Assuming he has letters inside I unzip it and discover several hundred dollars in cash and a deposit slip.)

Me: “Uhm, sir? Did you need to stamps or a money order?”

Customer: “No. It’s a deposit.”

Me: “We’re a post office. The bank’s two blocks down.”

Customer: “It’s for deposit.”

Me: “There’s no way for me to deposit this. You’re at the post office; we don’t have accounts to deposit this into.”

(Customer blinks and slowly looks around at the postal regulation posters, stamp display, and my uniform.)

Customer: “I’m really sorry. I just finished the night shift and they dragged me out of bed for this.”

(He took the bag from me and wearily headed out the door. Hopefully the next person he handed a bag of cash worked at a bank.)

From Cashier To Corporate

| SK, Canada | Crazy Requests

(We sell somewhat expensive shoes since most items are genuine leather. I’m just a simple store associate. I live in an area of Canada where it can be very icy during winter. This lady walks in and she’s been in the store before asking the same question…)

Lady: “Hello, did you happen to get in any grips for the back of boots?”

Me: “We have inserts to put in the back of boots—”

Lady: “No, I mean on the bottom of the shoe.”

Me: “No, sorry. We don’t sell any bottom grips for shoes here. There are other stores that likely carry them.”

Lady: “That’s strange that you don’t carry them. They’re so important this time of year…”

Me: “Yes, it is, but unfortunately we are an American-run company, and we only get in specific items for the store.”

Lady: “Well, you should get some in. You should tell your manager to get some in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that wouldn’t do anything. Like I said, we are a large-scale, corporately-owned company. If you’d like, you can go to the website and try sending them an e-mail suggesting you’d like a product like that, or try giving corporate a phone call.”

Lady: *she turns away rudely sticking her nose up* “I don’t have the time!”

(Clearly she has never worked a day in her life in retail. It’s just humorous that she thought I would have the time and that me asking my manager to get in a product the company doesn’t make would accomplish anything.)

My Day Would Be Better If You’d Speak Up!

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words

(I work at a large sandwich chain. In our particular store, the back of the line is really loud, and I’m slightly hard of hearing. Usually customers are gracious about me asking them to repeat themselves and speak a little louder and enunciate so that I can understand them, but sometimes they don’t.)

Me: “What can I get you for veggies on your sandwich?”

Customer: *something I can’t quite understand*

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: *something I still can’t understand*

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *something I still can’t understand, not speaking up or enunciating at all*

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: *looking at the person behind him with a ‘can you believe this dips***?’ expression* “For the fourth time, how was your day?”

Attacking You At Close Quarters

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Money

(I work in customer service at a popular grocery chain in the Midwest. Our money is dispensed by a machine directly into our tills, so we do not have rolls of change.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Fine, thanks. I just need two rolls of quarters for this twenty.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately we do not have rolls of quarters.”

Customer: “What? Yes, you do. I am in here all the time getting rolls of quarters.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ve never done this to my knowledge.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. Fine, whatever. Can I just get some quarters then?”

Me: “I can do about five dollars in quarters. If I do much more, my drawer will be unbalanced, and I will run out of quarters.”

Customer: “You’re being ridiculous. This is poor customer service.”

(She glances at my name tag which says I’ve been working there for seven years. She knows I know what I’m talking about and her argument won’t hold.)

Customer: “Is there a manager I can speak to?”

Me: “Of course.” *I call the manager over and explain the situation*

(I begin doing something else at this point.)

Customer: *to Manager* “He was being very rude, too.”

(I have to turn away because I begin silently laughing at her saying I was rude. He gets into the safe, which has rolls for accounting, to get her some quarters. He isn’t supposed to do this and later gets yelled at by accounting.)

Customer: *to me as she walks away* “See! That’s customer service.”

(Lady, I have never been rude to a customer. I am sorry you feel that me being polite in telling you that we can’t do something is rude.)

These Chemistry Puns Are Sodium Funny!

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