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They Are Bali Listening

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I am in the bakery to buy bread when I overhear an argument. It’s clear that this customer is a regular, since the bakers have a bit of a laugh with him.)

Customer: “Where were you last week?”

Baker: “I was in Bali.”

Customer: “What? Why were you there?”

Baker: “Uh… for a holiday?”

Customer: “But why go on holiday?”

Baker: “Because… I wanted to? And it was nice there?”

(The customer goes on and on about Bali being a horrible place, so I decide to pitch in.)

Me: “What’s wrong with Bali? It’s a beautiful place.”

Customer: “Never been. Don’t want to go. I’m allergic to Bali.”

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Not Very Closed Minded: Employee Edition

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Time

Customer: “When do you close?”

Me: “Thanksgiving.”

Customer: “No, I mean tonight.”

Me: “Thanksgiving. We’re a twenty-four hour store, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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A Cereal Liar

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior

(The store I work at lets us wear whatever we want as long as it is all black. We also wear a multi-colored, neon bright nametag and an apron. I am in the cereal aisle, standing on a ladder, stocking boxes and talking to a regular customer. She works at our City Hall and is wearing a suit. A man walks into the aisle spins around for a second and then asks the woman where a product is. I start to answer him but he angrily snaps.)

Customer: “You need to stop talking and wait your turn!”

(The woman gives her best smile and gives him convoluted directions that basically take him all through the store and then back to the cereal aisle. Ten minutes later she is gone and he is back in the aisle. He comes again to the same exact spot, spins around looking and then looks at me, throwing his hands up in frustration.)

Me: “It’s behind you.”

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Framing Your Family

| UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I’m showing a customer our range of picture frames.)

Customer: “How big is 8″ by 10″?”

(I pick up a frame of that size and hand it to her.)

Customer: “How big is it though?”

Me: “That big.” *pointing at the frame*

Customer: *stares at the frame blankly before moving on* “What about this?”

Me: “It’s 4″ by 5″. It would accommodate a picture that is a quarter the size of the one in your hand.”

Customer: *waving her hands wildly* “That makes no sense!”

Me: “Umm, perhaps if you tell me the size of the picture you want to frame, I can show you what we have?”

Customer: “Don’t you give me a picture?”

Me: “We have some available for purchase.”

(I show her our collection.)

Me: “Is there any that take your fancy?”

Customer: *after looking over the selection* “Do you have any with my grandchildren?”

Me: “…”

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Nic U Too

| GA, USA | Language & Words

(The customer is proofing a write-up I put together for her.)

Customer: “Change the ‘an’ to ‘a’ before ‘NICU nurse.’”

Me: “’An’ is technically correct in this context; use of a/an is determined by the vowel sound at the beginning of a word/abbreviation/acronym, not necessarily the letter itself. Since ‘NICU’ is traditionally pronounced ‘en-eye-see-you’ we would use ‘an.’ However, if we wrote out the whole thing, it would be ‘a neonatal intensive care unit.’”

Customer: “I pronounce it ‘nic-u’ so change it to ‘a.’”

Me: “…seriously?”

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