Your Scam Tactics Need An Upgrade

, | Miami, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Tourists/Travel

(I work at the counter to check in passengers and I get stupid people all the time but this one takes the cake.)

Me: “Welcome to [Airline]. How can I help?”

Passenger: “Yes, I like to check in to [Destination] and also I’d like to do an upgrade, I have a doctor’s note that says I have to fly in first or business class.”

(I smile and laugh a little because I thought he was joking around but I see how serious he is and doesn’t find my laughing amusing.)

Passenger: “I don’t know what’s so funny; I have doctor’s note, so be more professional and do your job.”

Me: *after hearing that I put on a serious face and then reply* “Okay, sir, I have an upgrade available for $389. How would you like to purchase that?”

Passenger: “Don’t you understand that I have a doctor’s note?”

Me: *still with a serious face* “Well, sir, is your insurance going to cover this upgrade?”

Passenger: *with a confused face* “No, my, insurance doesn’t cover that.”

Me: “Well then, sir, you are going to have to do it like the rest of the country and pay out of your pocket.”

Call From Steten

| ME, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words

Me: “May I have your first name?”

Member: “Steven.”

Me: “Is that Steven with a ‘PH’ or ‘V’?”

Member: “…excuse me?”

Me: “Is that Steven with a ‘PH’ or ‘V’?”

Member: “It’s Steven with a ‘T!’ s-T-e-v-e-n!”

Walk A Mile In His Shirts

| Hawthorne, NJ, USA | Bizarre

(I am working on the register, totaling a customer.)

Next Customer: “Can I ask for some help?”

(I decide to multi-task.)

Me: “Of course.”

Next Customer: “My son wears a size six in shirts. What’s his shoe size?”

Me: “…”

Has No Hang-Ups About Hanging Up

| QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I am serving a customer at the changing rooms in our store. The phone rings and before I can pick it up a customer answers.)

Customer: *on the phone* “No, we can’t help you.” *hangs up the phone*

(The customer then walked away as if nothing had even happened. The customer on the phone called back and abused me for 15 minutes about rude staff hanging up on him.)

The Site Of A Grave Error

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work for a university tech support. I only troubleshoot things involved with our site. I get calls all the time about people complaining that their Internet is not working. This customer in particular is very stubborn about me fixing their Internet. She tells me that she can’t get our website to load up, and that she gets a ‘page cannot be found’ error.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am I’d be glad to help. Can you try going to Google for me.”

Customer: “Okay… I get the same error.”

Me: “Okay, that means your Internet has gone down on your computer or from your Internet service provider.”

Customer: “But the Internet on my phone works just fine! I just need your site to load up for me, so fix it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can’t fix your computer for you because that goes outside our scope of support. You will need to contact either your computer manufacturer, who can then tell you what option to look for to get your Internet back up, or call your ISP who can do the same thing.”

Customer: “But it is just your site I need; why can’t you fix your own site? Every time I call you guys you send me somewhere else and never do your jobs!”

Me: “Ma’am, my job is to troubleshoot our site when something is not working properly. Even though our site is not working on your end, every other site that you go to is also not working. Are you going to call every website you are trying to get to and have them tell you the same thing I am?”

Customer: “If I need their site working I will call them. Now, fix this.”

Me: “As I have told you, I can’t fix this. What you are asking is essentially like going to Wal-Mart and complaining that the electricity at K-mart is out. They are not going to be able to do anything to get that fixed. If you don’t have any other questions I am going to disconnect this call.”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

Me: “I’d be happy to if there was one available. They are in meetings. Besides, they will say the same thing I’m telling you and you will have your day wasted to hear the same thing again. Call your ISP or computer manufacturer and I promise you will get this fixed.” *click*

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