In Starch Contrast To Medical Advice

, , , , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(I work as a receptionist at a hotel. The bar in our lobby serves food as well as drinks. I am working the night shift. It is around 3:00 am when I get this call:)

Me: “Front desk, how may I help you?”

Guest: “Hi, can you connect me through to the bar?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, the bar closes at 11:00 pm.”

Guest: “Well, my daughter is having an allergic reaction, so we’d like some French fries.”

Me: *baffled* “Your daughter is having an allergic reaction… and you want French fries?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “I think you should get her an ambulance.”

Guest: “No, it’s fine. We just need some French fries.”

Me: “I really think you should get her an ambulance. Besides, there is no one at the bar at this hour. How would French fries even help?”

Guest: *somewhat condescendingly* “Well, French fries are made of starch, and starch will help fight the allergy.”

Me: “Well, the deep fryer requires special training to operate. I couldn’t get you fries even if I wanted to. Again, I implore you to call an ambulance.”

Guest: *talking to someone else in the room* “He wants us to call an ambulance.” *click*

(They didn’t call again after that. No ambulance arrived. I hope his daughter was okay. I never heard of starch helping with allergies, and I couldn’t find anything on Google to support this.)

The Key To Future Generations

, , , | Right | October 16, 2017

(A group of youngsters who look like they’re in their late teens or early 20s are staying in several different rooms in our hotel. Two come up.)

Teen: “So, like, none of my like, keys are like, working? And like, I need to get in my room?”

(He tosses a key at me and I check it.)

Me: “This is for [another room number].”

Teen: *to his friend* “Oh, my God! So, [Friend] has our keys! I guess we shouldn’t have thrown all our keys together in a pile and mixed them up, huh?”

Me: *big face-palm*

(I weep for the future…)

This Stay Has Not Been Rated

, , , | Right | October 16, 2017

(A very stubborn customer is arguing with us about the prices changing.)

Coworker: “Sir, since you are changing your stay, the rate also changes because there is a lower rate the longer you stay. If you shorten your stay, the rate goes up.”

Customer: “That is BS! That doesn’t make sense! Who puts these darned rules on the rates?! I was told [rate] and I’ll get it; I don’t care if I do shorten my stay or not!”

Coworker: “That would be our manager who set the rules for the rates.”

Customer: “I already talked to him, and he promised me this rate! Now, are you going to give it to me or do I have to go to your competition next door?!”

Me: “Sir, you are welcome to go there!”

Customer: *angrily takes belongings and stomps off, glaring*

(There are only two hotels for miles around, and both are owned by the same company. My coworker and I laughed about that for hours. The next morning, the hotel next door sent us an email saying only “WTF?!”)

Have A Feeling His Buddy Didn’t Pick Up On Purpose

, , , , , | Right | October 16, 2017

(A guest whom I’ve just checked in comes back to the front desk.)

Guest: “Hey, there can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Of course! What can I do for you?”

Guest: “My buddy told me he’s around here somewhere having a beer. Where would that be?”

Me: “Well, there’s quite a few places he could be. There’s a restaurant called [Restaurant] just adjacent to our building. Could that be it?”

Guest: “No, no, no, that’s definitely not it! He mentioned he would be downtown. Any idea where he might be?”

Me: “There’s upwards of 60 bars and restaurants in the downtown area. Why don’t you call your friend and get the name of the establishment? I’d be happy to get you directions.”

(The guest stands at the desk making several unsuccessful phone calls to his friend. He’s now visibly irritated.)

Guest: “He’s not answering his d*** phone! All I want is to see my buddy and wind down with an ice cold beer! Now, where could he be?”

Me: “Like I said, he could be at any one of the 60 restaurants in the area. Without a name of the establishment, I can’t tell you where to go.”

Guest: “Listen here, ma’am. If you were an old man like me and wanted to have a beer, where would you go?”

Me: *I get out a restaurant guide and hand it to the guest* “I’m sure wherever your friend is will be listed in this directory. Good luck!”

(The guest spent the next 15 minutes huffing and puffing in the lobby and fiddling with his phone before he stormed back upstairs to his room.)

A Raw Sample Of General Customers

, , , , , | Right | October 16, 2017

(I am working as a sample demonstrator in a popular store, making fish.)

Customer: “I want a sample.”

Me: “They should be finished cooking in about ten minutes! If you want to finish shopping, I will make sure to save you a piece!”

Customer: “Excuse me? I want a sample.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but it’s going to take about ten minutes. As I said, if you would like to finish your shopping, I will save you a piece.”

Customer: “Will you hurry up? I just want to try the fish.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s still ten minutes from finishing.”

Customer: “Why are you not serving me?”

Me: “I have already stated it will take ten more minutes for the fish to be cooked.”

Customer: “Just cut me a piece!”

Me: “Ma’am. I cannot serve raw fish.”

Customer: “I. Want. A. Sample.”

Me: “And in ten minutes, you can get one. I am not serving you frozen, raw fish.”

Customer: “Well, you lost a sale!” *storms off*

Coworker: “Does that happen to you often?”

Me: “Every. Day.”

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