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A Dent In Your Dentures

| Greece | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I am a student in dentistry, and I have patients of my own during university hours. I am fully responsible for their treatment, as well as their financial transactions with the university. I am not capable of giving any kind of discount. Students are expected to pay any debt of their patients in order to graduate. Faculty members make sure that we know this is the case. This is a particularly unpleasant patient, who gradually starts complaining about any work I do, despite my best efforts and faculty members fully approving of the quality of my work. Dealing with her, even over the phone, makes my stomach turn from anxiety.)

Patient: “[My Name], the dentures you made me are no good. When I press on the side like that, they come off!” *the patient proceeds to press with her finger in a way that can by no means occurs while chewing*

Me: “The dentures have to come off one way or another, like a shoe. If they didn’t come off at all they wouldn’t be dentures, after all.”

(The patient frowns and obviously does not believe me, despite faculty members backing me up.)

Patient: “[My Name], the dentures you made me are clicking. That’s unacceptable!”

(After I examine her, it turns out it was a natural sound from her TMJ. After I explain this, and show her that her clicking continued with no dentures on, she still looks really upset.)

Patient: “Well, my mouth still tastes terrible when I wake up! It’s because of these bridges! You made them so I can’t clean between my teeth!”

(The patient’s main concern when she first came was the bitter taste in her mouth. The patient has insisted for two years that her blood sugar, a prime cause of bad taste, is on regular levels. A faculty member has me order some blood tests, including blood sugar levels. Despite her adamantly denying it, they turned out to be high enough to explain the symptoms. I book a last appointment for her, to get the remaining amount of money to pay the school and our dental technician. I explain over the phone I need [Amount #1] for school, and [Amount #2] for the technician. Because of a wrong addition, I had underestimated the amount of money when I had to inform her about the total cost of the treatment. I have made clear I volunteered to pay this amount myself, knowing she had financial difficulties. I also gave her the dentures before she paid the full amount, just to get her to stop bugging me, which was a mistake. When she comes for the appointment:)

Me: “Your blood sugar levels are probably the reason for the bad taste you have, not the bridges or dentures.”

(The patient looks at a loss, as she has no grounds to blame me further for anything.)

Me: “So, now I would like to discuss the financial part—”

Patient: “I have no money for you.”

Me: “But, I told you how we need to pay off the university [Amount #1] euros, and the technician [Amount #2] euros! It’s the end of the year, so I can’t postpone it any longer for you.”

Patient: “What? You only said [Amount #3] euros over the phone! This is unacceptable! I am not paying anything. The work you gave me is unacceptable.”

Me: “Please leave now.”

Patient: “What? And what am I to do if I have any problems?”

Me: “I do not care. Please leave now. I don’t care about the money. I’ll pay myself if it means I get to graduate and never see you again. So, leave, because I have to tend to other patients.”

(Her look of disbelief and the sight of her leaving was worth every euro. and it was a few hundred of them, too. The technician was understanding and was already partially paid, so he let it slide and assured me I could do nothing more, as he had met her and saw how rude and suspicious she was.)

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The Writing’s On The Wall With The Squirrels

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Store]; good evening.,How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello? I need help. There are squirrels in my roof, and I—”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that, ma’am, but we do not offer any services to remove squirrels.”

Customer: “But you don’t understand. I buy everything from your store! Why can’t you help me? I can hear them through the walls!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am, and we appreciate your loyalty as a customer; however, we do not remove squirrels. We are a hardware store.”

Customer: *in tears* “What am I supposed to do? Why won’t you help me? Is there a manager I can speak to?”

(I transfer the call to my manager. 15 minutes later my manager comes up to me.)

Manager: “Did that call really just happen?”

Me: “Yes. Did you help her with the squirrels?”

Manager: *laughing hysterically* “If you ever pass me a call like that again, I’ll fire you!”

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Punked Over And Over And Over

, | Papillion, NE, USA | Language & Words

(I am a warehouse worker this last summer for a large fireworks company and we help out tent staff sometimes during tent season. I am on registers, where we always offer free small punks, on the Fourth, and have at least a dozen customers thinking they’re so funny with this same exchange.)

Me: *finishing a transaction* “All right, thank you for buying from [Fireworks Company]! Would you like some free punks for lighting?”

Customer: *grabbing a friend/sibling/child* “Well, I think this one here will do.”

Me: *to myself* “Yeah, like I haven’t heard that one before.”

Roundup: The Most Popular Stories Of The Week

Roundups
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Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (September 19th – September 25th 2016)!

See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic!

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Births, Deaths Of Marriages

UK | Love/Romance

Me: “When is your wife’s date of birth?”

Caller: “I am not sure; let me just ask.”

(A few seconds later.)

Caller: “It’s uh… today. She was born in 1979.”

Me: “You’re in real trouble now, aren’t you?”

Caller: *nervous laugh*

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