Themed Roundup: Winter Is Coming

| Right | November 19, 2017
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The nights are getting longer, the temperature is dropping*, and it is safe to say… “winter is coming.” As a result, please enjoy a roundup of our Game Of Thrones themed stories from all categories of the site. Hopefully these will keep you going until the next season turns up in a couple of years! 


Credit: https://juggernaut-art.deviantart.com
 

You Know Of Nothing Jon Snow – If no one in the show can get along, why expect the religions to as well?

Stark Raving Mad – Only trendy people drink wine… apparently.

All Little Girls Dream Of Their Red Wedding – The Lannisters send their regards before bed time…

These Protesters Are Totally Off The Wall – This is what you say next time you’re approached by a Jehovah’s Witness.

Got The Drogo Mojo – HBO means nudity; it is known.

HB-Woah – If you’re ever talking about anything screwed up, it’s probably because of Game Of Thrones.

A Cookie Monster Always Pays His Debts – It’s about a Game Of Thrones/Sesame Street crossover; do we need to say any more?

Births, Deaths, And Game-Of-Throne Marriages – Killing gets easier with each one, apparently.

Eaten Too Many Dothraki Horse Pies – Too much food makes you as big as the moon and the sky.

Forgetting The Date Can Have Dire(wolf) Consequences – When you rush the Game Of Thrones, you eat or you die.

Got any other funny experiences revolving around adventures in Westeros? Let us know in the comments, or submitting a story!

 

*To our readers from the southern hemisphere… just pretend.

Why Did This Customer Have To Fall Into Your Lap?

, , , | Right | November 19, 2017

(An elderly male customer walks up to my counter. I am 23 and female.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you the girl who gave me the lap-dance on my birthday?”

Me: “Um, I am most certainly not.”

Customer: “Do you want to be?”

Me: “Um… No.”

I’m Gonna Give You A Regular You Can’t Refuse

, , | Right | November 19, 2017

(I work at a convenience store. I am training a new person when I spot one of our regulars, a man with a bad reputation for giving employees grief. He’ll fight over the smallest details, though he never gets far once the managers get involved. That doesn’t stop him from being as condescending and rude as possible beforehand, though.)

Me: *to new hire who has just finished ringing up another customer* “It’s a lot for day one, but you’re getting the hang of it.”

New Hire: “Yeah, I think I’ll be oka—”

(She gets cut off by the customer, who is practically yelling into his phone as he throws his stuff on our counter.)

Customer: “You’re so stupid! Could you stop being stupid and just order the pizza?”

(I quietly nod for the new hire to step aside and proceed to ring up his items myself, not saying a word. Meanwhile, another customer has gotten in line behind him, and she watches him scream with raised eyebrows.)

Customer: *angrily swipes his credit card* “OH, MY GOD, it’s not Coleone’s, it’s CORE-LEE-OWNS! You can’t even pronounce Italian words right!”

(Meanwhile, I’ve bagged his items, totaled his amount and stuffed his receipt in the bag without saying a word to him. He rips them off the counter and stomps out, still yelling about the pizza place and how to pronounce it.)

Me: *to new hire once customer is out of earshot* “That guy is a regular, and he thinks he is the most important human being on the planet.”

Customer #2: *after setting her items on the counter* “Yeah, I think we all kind of got that impression. I wonder why the person on the other end didn’t just hang up.”

New Hire: “I’m also pretty sure there’s no ‘R’ in the last name ‘Coleone.’”

They’re Serially Confused

, , , , , | Right | November 19, 2017

(I work in a call center, troubleshooting TVs and tablets for a warranty company. In order to help our customers, we need them to provide us with model numbers and serial numbers for the products they are calling about.)

Me: “Looks like we still need the model and serial number for your TV, if you can please provide this information.”

Customer: “Where can I find them?”

Me: “Usually both pieces of information can be found on the back of the TV. There should be some stickers that will say, ‘Model Number,’ and, ‘Serial Number,’ or, ‘S/N.’”

Customer: “Can you tell me where on my TV?”

Me: “It should be on the back of the TV, but I am unsure of its exact location.”

(There are rustling noises and groaning sounds. In the background I can hear chatting between a mother and daughter:)

Customer: “This is ridiculous that they have us back here looking for this. I have no idea where this stuff is.”

Daughter: “Did she tell you where it is?”

Customer: “She said on the back, but doesn’t know exactly where. If she doesn’t know, how am I supposed to know?”

Daughter: “Yeah, seriously.”

Customer: *shouting through speaker phone* “Okay, look, lady: all I see back here is a cable that plugs the TV into the wall and a sticker with a bunch of TV information on it. Which one of these things has what you’re looking for?”

Me: *pause* “The sticker with the TV information on it.”

Customer: “All I see on this sticker is a model number, a serial number, and a bunch of other random crap, so tell me what you want.”

Me: “The model and serial number.”

Customer: “Don’t you already have all this information?!”

Me: “No, ma’am; that is why I am asking for you to provide it.”

Customer: “Well, you should already have it! Can I speak to a supervisor?!”

Me: “Yes, you can, but this is information that we need to gather, and even if we had this information we would need to verify to make sure it’s correct. If we have the wrong model and serial number, it can delay your repairs.”

Customer: “I still want a supervisor! I think you’re just doing this for your sick amusement!”

Me: “I will get a supervisor for you. One moment, please.”

(My supervisor was just as annoyed as I was when I told her why they wanted to talk to her. My supervisor took the call, which didn’t take very long, and the call ended. The supervisor got up and walked away while stating, “Well, I guess they’re not getting their TV fixed, because they hung up.”)

That Cut Them Down To Size Quickly

, , , , , , , | Right | November 18, 2017

(I am waiting for my order in a popular pizza shop. It is late and very busy. A group of rowdy teenagers have just left with a few pizzas, and one of them storms back in to yell at the cashier.)

Customer: “Hey, b****! You didn’t cut my pizza right!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I am so sorry. I can cut it properly for you.”

Customer: “No, just f****** forget it! You guys suck! You better give me some free cheese bread for all the d*** trouble you put me through! Can’t you do anything right?”

(At this point I see the pizza, and it is just a little bit uncut for one of the slices. I know the girl is only doing this to get some free food. I walk up to her.)

Me: “Do you want some bread?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Tell me how many breads you want. Name any number. How many friends do you have with you?”

Customer: “Um, there are eight of us.”

Me: *to cashier* “Please make me four orders of cheese bread and give me two liters of soda.”

(I pay for the food and hand the girl the receipt.)

Me: “Here. I know what your intentions were. How dare you yell at someone for free food? You’re worse than a beggar. Now, apologize to the nice lady, and take your food when it’s ready. I hope you feel guilty eating it.”

(By this time my order had already come out and the whole shop cheered and clapped. The teenager was red in the face and just stared at her feet the whole time her order was being made.)

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