My theater has just reopened after being closed due to the health crisis. It’s a very slow day and the rest of the lobby staff has been sent on break while I work the lobby by myself. For the last eight years, my theater has had assigned seating.

An angry-looking man comes in to buy tickets.

Me: *Gesturing to the screen* “All right, sir, let me know where you’d like to sit.”

Customer: *Exploding* “I have to pick my own seat?! This is f****** ridiculous! It wasn’t like this the last time I came in!”

He stands there screaming at me for several moments before he finally picks a seat.

Me: “All right, sir, your total will be $6.”

Customer: *Exploding again* “This is highway robbery! $6 for a movie?! Unbelievable!”

He stands there screaming at me for about thirty seconds over a price I have absolutely no control over until he finally shuts up and pays by literally throwing a wad of $1 bills at me.

Customer: *Still fuming* “I want popcorn! Where do I go for that?!”

Me: “I’ll meet you at the concession stand.”

I walk over to the concession stand. The customer looks at the menu above my head and then looks down at me.

Customer: *Exploding yet again* “Oh, f*** you! I can’t believe you charge so much for snacks!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t set the prices.”

Customer: “I want a manager right now, you a**hole!”

I run to the office and fetch my manager, who ends up standing there and getting screamed at for two minutes straight by this d****ebag, again over prices that are set by corporate and that we have absolutely no control over. My manager leaves, shaking her head.

Unfortunately, corporate has made it repeatedly clear that we’re not allowed to refuse service to customers or ban them despite what they do, so I’m forced to continue the transaction. Despite his fury, he still decides to buy some popcorn and a soda. He literally throws his money at me again.

We used to have self-serve stations for butter, salt, napkins, straws, and soda. However, due to the health crisis, we’ve shut down the self-serve butter stations and now give customers pre-measured cups of butter, along with napkins and salt packets, to avoid having too many people touching the same surfaces. Additionally, we have a staff member whose job is to stand at the soda machines and pour sodas for customers, again to avoid having too many people touching the same surfaces.

I hand the customer some pre-measured butter, salt packets, and napkins.

Me: “Here’s some butter and salt for your popcorn, and some napkins.”

Customer: *Exploding yet again* “I have to put butter on my own popcorn?! You lazy p***k! It’s never, ever been like this! Lazy! When did this bulls*** start?!”

Me: “Sir, we’ve had self-serve butter for over ten years. The only difference now is that we give it to you in cups.”

Customer: “Bulls***! F****** liar!”

The customer notices the salt packets, clutches his chest, and bellows like a banshee.

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! I HAVE TO PUT MY OWN SALT ON?! ARE YOU F****** SERIOUS?! GO TO H***! AND WHERE DO I GET MY F****** SODA?!”

Me: *Completely through with the guy* “I’ll meet you at the soda machines.”

I wander over to the soda machine with his cup.

Me: “What do you want?”

Customer: “I CAN’T POUR MY OWN SODA?! WHAT THE F***?! DO I LOOK LIKE A F****** TODDLER TO YOU?!”

Me: “Sir, you just yelled at me because you have to put your own butter and salt on. Now you’re mad I’m pouring your soda for you?”

Customer: “GO F*** YOURSELF!”

I poured his soda without making any eye contact, shoved it at him, and wandered back to the box office without another word. He then yelled at the ticket-taker for asking to see his ticket. He later came out and demanded our corporate number because he wanted to “report us for being worthless p***ks.” Nothing ever came of it. I genuinely think he was just in a bad mood and wanted to be a jerk to feel better. He got mad about literally every step of the movie-going process.

At our store, it’s perfectly acceptable to hand customers off to other coworkers who are more knowledgeable about certain items and whatnot. I greet a customer as he walks into the store.

Me: “How are you doing today, sir? Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, you a**holes had better have [specific product].”

Me: *A bit taken aback* “We’ll do our best to find that for you, sir.”

I go to where the associated products are and can’t find it. The customer is just glaring at my back, occasionally muttering expletives under his breath.

Me: “Let me grab one of my associates real quick; it’s my first week here and I’m still learning the store.”

The customer grumbles a rude affirmative, and I go to grab another coworker. I follow the customer and my coworker to the location so I will know where it is in the future. As we’re walking to the item, the customer spins on me.

Customer: *Loudly* “What the f*** are you following me for?”

Shocked, I begin to respond, when my coworker cuts in.

Coworker: “Sir, there’s no reason to speak rudely to him when he’s just trying to do his job and learn where new items are. If you can’t speak civilly or politely to us, then we will kindly ask you to leave the store.”

The customer turns beet red and starts shouting all manner of curse words at my coworker and me as we gradually herd him to the front door and out of the store.

Coworker: “Have a good day, sir. Please understand that you are no longer welcome to shop at this store. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

Most customers are very understanding when we explain that we’re handing them off to another coworker or that we’re inexperienced in some area, but completely blowing your top is absolutely unacceptable behavior.

Sometimes, when it’s not too busy in the office, I’ll play music quietly from my Bluetooth speaker.

Coworker: “Hey, that’s [Christian Singer].”

I check my phone’s screen.

Me: “Yup.”

The wheels started turning in her brain.

Coworker: “But… you’re an atheist.”

Me: “Umm, yeah?”

Coworker: “But… that’s Christian music.”

Me: “Listen, you know I love music and go to a million concerts. If I let religion dictate what I listen to, I’d miss so much good stuff. Sinead O’Connor is now Muslim, and I love to drive to Hindi music. I listen to country when I draw and play pop when I’m entertaining. Christian music is uplifting and I just wanted a pick-me-up right now.”

Coworker: “But I like [Christian Singer].”

Me: “Great. What’s your favourite song?”

I reach for my phone to pull it up so we can share it.

Coworker: “I don’t know.”

She walked away, seeming kind of upset that a heathen like me could listen to music she likes. My lack of belief has always kept her at arm’s length from me, but now I think I may have ruined her enjoyment of music. Oops.

I am craving a smoothie, so I pop into my local smoothie shop to order one. I’ve only ordered from this franchise once or twice in the past and am not familiar with their drink names, but I want to get something similar to what I had last time. The only thing I remember about the drink was that it had mangoes and spinach.

Cashier: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi there! I’m sorry, I don’t order from here often. In the past, I ordered a drink that had mangoes and spinach in it. Do you have a drink like that?”

Cashier: “Spinach is in it?”

Me: “Yeah… or maybe it was kale? I don’t know, I definitely remember spinach. It had mangoes, too. 

Cashier: “Ah, okay. So, spinach is in it?”

Me: “Yup, it had spinach.”

Cashier: “Okay, your total is [total].”

I just assumed she knew what I was talking about, so I paid and moved to the side. As I was waiting for my drink, I glanced at the menu board, wondering what the name of the drink was. My eyes scanned the board until I found it. 

The drink name? “Spinach Is In It.”

The cashier and I had a good laugh about that one!

I had abdominal surgery twelve days ago. I am finally feeling up for shopping and there are things I need from the hardware store. I’m a thirty-year-old disabled woman in a wheelchair — I’m an incomplete quadriplegic — and I don’t have a car, so I get a taxi — with a ramp on the back so I don’t have to get out of my wheelchair.

The taxi driver drops me off and I go in to do my thing. Nothing out of the ordinary. When I finish my shopping, I call to get the taxi back. It will be a fifteen-minute wait, but it is such a nice day that I don’t mind waiting outside.

As I am waiting, I notice that someone is parked in the disabled parking space but there are no disabled tags on the windscreen. It’s annoying, but I honestly don’t care at this point; I just want to get home. About ten minutes later, I see a middle-aged woman walk out of the store and go straight to that car. She opens the boot, puts her shopping in, and goes around to the driver’s side. But instead of getting in, she gets out a cigarette and starts looking at her phone.

A few minutes after that, my taxi arrives. [Taxi Driver], being the polite and patient man he is, waits for the woman to drive out of the car space. The woman knows he is waiting for her and she is d*** sure she is parking illegally in the disabled parking space, but do you think she cares? She finishes her cigarette and gets into her car.

We wait. And wait. And then wait some more. Then, [Taxi Driver] gets rightly fed up and parks the taxi directly behind the woman’s car, blocking her in. This is when things get interesting.

The woman begins to honk her horn repetitively for a few seconds, and then she gets out of her car.

Woman: “What the bloody heck do ya think ya doin’? Ya blocked me in!”

Taxi Driver: *In a mock-apologetic tone* “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but I needed the car space. And you seemed to want to stay there. Just thought I’d do you a favor. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a job to do.”

[Taxi Driver] gestured in my direction as I gave the woman a BIG smile. I hate confrontation, so I appreciated [Taxi Driver] doing it for me. [Taxi Driver] got into the car and fastened me and my wheelchair into place. All the while, the woman was yelling profanities and threatening to call the police. If it were any other day, I would have been happy to call the police so the woman would get a fine. But I just wanted to go home.

It only took a few minutes before I was secured in the car and we left, but I made sure to give the woman a smile and a one-finger salute through the window as we were leaving, which made the encounter all the sweeter.