A coworker of mine was miserable at work one day.

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Coworker: “It’s my anniversary, and I know my husband has forgotten.”

She had pre-teen girls who were at home during summer vacation, and I knew her home phone number (pre-cell phone era). I called her home phone, and one kid picked up.

Me: “Hi, [Kid]. I’m [My Name], and I work with your mom. You need to call your dad at work and remind him that it’s your mom and dad’s anniversary. And don’t tell Mom or Dad I called.”

The next day, [Coworker] was all smiles.

Coworker: “Gosh, he did remember! He brought home flowers and took me to dinner!”

Mission accomplished.

Not a word was ever said about this…

Until six years later, when [Coworker] left the company. At her farewell luncheon, she gave me a hug and whispered:

Coworker: “My kids ratted you out. Thank you.”

Customer: “A pretty little girlie like you shouldn’t be frowning. You should smile more!”

Me: “Oh, I was, but then I saw you.”

Customer: “That’s very rude!”

Me: “So is calling a twenty-eight-year-old woman a ‘little girlie’, so let’s just both shut up, and you can be on your way with your parsnips, eh?”

I’ve been a server going on seventeen years. It’s the middle of a rush, and I have to pee — bad. I tell the server with me on the patio, and she says it’s cool. I run to the bathroom, pee, and wash my hands.

I go to leave, and the door won’t open. (It’s an employee bathroom, not a stall.) I wiggle the handle. It won’t move. I’m standing there thinking, “Am I stupid?!” I try again. The door won’t budge.

I get out my phone — no service. I reset my phone as I’m knocking on the door saying, “Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me? I’m locked in the bathroom!” Of course, no one can. The employee bathroom is way away from anything. The only reason you’d be right there is to use the restroom.

I look at my phone — still no service.

At this point, a solid ten minutes have gone by. So, I’m in this tiny-a** bathroom with my phone in the air hoping to get one bar, all while shouting:

Me: “[MY NAME] IS STUCK IN THE BATHROOM!”

I finally get one bar, and I send a mass text to every manager and server at work:

Me: “I’M STUCK IN THE BATHOOM! SEND HELP!”

My text keeps showing the loading symbol.

Now it’s been fifteen or so minutes, and I cannot get the door to budge. I’m wondering why my fellow server hasn’t come to my rescue!

Another two or three minutes go by, and someone tries to open the door.

Me: “I’M LOCKED IN HERE!”

Voice On The Other Side: “[My Name]…?”

She can’t get the door open. She goes and gets a manager. The two of them start pushing on the door while I pull it. It WILL NOT BUDGE!

Me: “Go check my tables! Close my section! Help!”

Then, another manager came with a busser, and they all tried to push while I tried to pull, and…

FINALLY! The door opened!

I was gone for almost thirty minutes. The server on the patio with me said she thought I was taking a long s*** and never thought to check on me. She watched my tables, and my manager cashed some people out who’d been waiting a while, etc.

A couple around my age asked where I’d been (I had dropped off their drinks, they’d said they needed a few minutes, and that’s when I’d gone to pee), so I had to tell them the story. They thought it was hilarious.

Related:
For Every Weird Thing At Your Workplace, There’s A Story Like This, Part 2
For Every Weird Thing At Your Workplace, There’s A Story Like This

I work in a movie theater. An elderly woman and her friend approach me.

Customer: “Excuse me. I lost my left glove, and I was wondering if you’ve seen it?”

She describes it, and I go into the storage where we keep our lost-and-found stuff, but I can’t find any glove even close to her description. I come back out.

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t see it, but let me take your number to call you if we find it. Maybe someone will find it overnight during cleaning.”

The next day, I get called into my boss’s office. Apparently, this woman came back after my shift, made a huge deal, and accused me of stealing her glove. My colleagues promised to talk to me next shift and tried to help her, but she would have none of it.

My boss had to show up near midnight because the woman refused to leave and demanded to know where I lived. They had to call down guards to throw her out.

During the night, the cleaners didn’t find the glove. This woman, on the other hand, had called the police who then had called my boss. At this time of my life, I owned a pair of second-hand designer leather gloves worth at least $150. I did not steal her left glove.

Her friend came back two days later.

Customer’s Friend: “Hi, sorry about my friend. She left her glove at a restaurant just before coming to the movies.”

I work in the electronics department of my store, where we have several TVs up on display on a wall, with one TV in the center of the floor. I have a movie on that one. This husband and wife come in, and after a minute, I go up to them.

Me: “Hi! Is there anything I can help you with?”

Husband: “Yeah, what’s the difference between a UHD TV and a QLED?”

I explain the differences.

Husband: “Huh. Well, I can see you’ve got UHD TVs on display on the wall, but no QLED ones. How am I supposed to see the difference?”

Me: “Oh! Well, actually, this TV here, with the movie on, is a QLED.”

The husband stares at the TV and frowns.

Husband: “This one is supposed to be better? The graphics kind of suck. Look how blurry it is!”

His wife and I look at the TV and then back at him.

Me: “That’s because it’s a movie from the nineties… It’s Hook.”

Wife: “You couldn’t tell from the young Robin Williams?!”