The best of our most recent stories!

Professionalism Is The Key

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2021

I work in a key cutting shop. Since keys are just about the only product we sell, we have to charge more for a key than other places that do key cutting as a side service.

This also means we do it better; unlike the other places that just carry the eighty most popular blank keys, we carry about two thousand. We also have both the experience and training to get it right the first time, unlike the other places that just don’t care. To us, this justifies the higher price.

Customer: “Can you make this key? I’ve been everywhere and no one can do it.”

Me: *Looking at the key* “Oh, sure, they are $1.99 each.”

Customer: “What?! What a rip-off. All the other places only charge about $1.50.”

Me: “Then why didn’t you get it made there?”

Customer: “Because as I told you, no one else can make it.”

Me: “Fair enough, for $1.50 we can’t make it, either.”

Customer: “Just make the d*** key.”

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It’s A Good Thing She’s Not Driving

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2021

I’m standing at a train station. The train I’m waiting for just arrived and the display says, “Do not enter.” A woman approaches me.

Woman: “Is this the train to Leipzig?”

Me: “Yes, it’s just being cleaned right now.”

Woman: “But it doesn’t say Leipzig on the display.” 

Me: “That’s to stop people from entering so that the cleaning crew can do their job quickly and without being disturbed.”

Woman: “But why doesn’t it say Leipzig on the display?”

Me: “Because they need to clean the train and people should wait until they’ve finished. It goes to Leipzig. Trust me, I take this train every day to work.” 

Woman: “So I can enter?”

Me: “Please don’t; they’re still cleaning. Just wait a little bit. This usually just takes just a few minutes.”

Almost all seats in the waiting area are empty; it really doesn’t matter if you’re sitting there waiting or on the train itself.

Woman: “But it goes to Leipzig?” 

Me: “Yes. Don’t worry; we’ve got another twenty minutes until it leaves.”

Woman: “So I can enter, right?”

I am fed up with her inability to listen.

Me: “Well, what does the display say?” 

The woman looked at me, looked at the display which literally still said, “Do not enter,” and then entered the train.

Through the window, I could see her sitting down and spreading out her bags and stuff across four seats before talking to the man who was still working in that area.

When I got on, I heard her telling someone on the phone about how rude the cleaning guy was and that she couldn’t have known that she was supposed to wait. 

Sometimes I ask myself how people like that manage to get through life.

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The Free Lunch Was Only The Beginning Of The Perks

, , , , , , | Learning | April 20, 2021

I’m completing the final year of my apprenticeship for my company. They come around and ask us if we could volunteer to attend a school event to promote the company and potentially encourage the next generation of apprentices.

As soon as it’s clear that this won’t be paid as overtime and only for an extra day off, most of the guys refuse to help, moaning about “free labour.” However, I volunteer as I reckon that four hours worked on a Saturday for eight hours holiday is probably still a good deal.

We do the event and I enjoy it way more than I thought. Inspiring young minds and seeing how they handle the tasks is enjoyable. I help a few of the school kids and get some good feedback on the day. Plus, we get a free lunch and I am already planning what to do with my day off.

When I finish my apprenticeship, the other in my year and I are interviewed to see where we will be placed. There are a few hotly contested areas so we all want to do well.

Interviewer: “Sorry, but have we met?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sorry.”

Interviewer: “Didn’t you do that school event?”

Me: “Oh, yes, sorry. I recognise you.”

Interviewer: “I remember. You really took charge that day. I was impressed.”

Apprentice Manager: “You know, he volunteered that day without pay.” *Smiles at me*

Interviewer: “Really? Oh, that really shows dedication. Listen, we are going off track, but there is a really promising role in [department]. They have been looking for someone who is willing to learn and succeed. It’s not strictly an [ex]apprentice position, but I think they would consider you. What do you think?”

Me: “That’s great, thank you!”

It took some convincing, but I got the job! A couple of the other guys in my year tried to lodge a complaint, saying that they would have volunteered if they had known, or something, but it was thrown out before it got anywhere.

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There’s Being Secure, And Then There’s Being Insecure

, , , , | Right | April 21, 2021

As a bank, we take security very seriously. We have two levels of authentication that callers must go through to speak to a representative out of a choice of three: voice recognition if they’re signed up, confirming digits of a number they made up that we do not see, or security questions.

A caller is screaming and crying because she’s able to get through by ONLY using the two levels of verification. After somehow managing to calm her down, I decide to be nice and add a note onto the account that she would prefer to do all three types and then proceed to go through the questions with her even though I know it’s her. She isn’t happy with this.

No, she wants for someone to send in an IT ticket to get her specific account updated so that no matter what, she will have to go through all three authentications, and only on the automated line as she isn’t confident she’s speaking to someone who works for the bank, even though she is the one who called us.

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am. Every customer is treated the same.”

She is adamant. Then, she breaks down in tears.

Caller: “My ex-husband hacked into my account and stole my money years ago and I’ve been really paranoid it’ll happen again!”

I feel bad for her but I cannot do what she wants me to do, nor can a manager, nor can IT.

Me: “Ma’am, there is something we are advised not to do unless the customer really wants it, which is to permanently lock all accounts so no one can access them over the phone and any query has to be dealt with face to face in a branch.”

She goes quiet for a few moments and I think at first she’s hung up, but then, I hear this in the background:

Caller: “They can’t do more than you can. Why did you tell me they could?!”

That’s when the penny drops; she is already in a branch speaking to someone about it. She isn’t happy with their response and has called us to see if we can do better.

Other Person: “I’m sorry if it came across like that, but I did say they might be able to do something else, not that they will.”

Caller: “But why can’t they? Anyone can access my accounts!”

Other Person: “You can have voice verification, you can have a unique number for yourself, you have security questions, and the only other option is to lock your account so anything has to be done face to face—”

Caller: “But why can I only have two?! I want all three, and not the last option, as that’s not convenient!”

Other Person: “I cannot change the entire security policy, I’m afraid, so unfortunately, those are your options.”

Caller: “Well, they’re not suitable if I can only have two, so lock my accounts. But how do you know I’m me?”

Other Person: “We always ask for ID, so we know it is definitely you—”

Caller: “But anyone can fake my ID and put makeup and a wig on to look like me, and they can then access my account!”

After this, she let out another loud sob before hanging up on me, leaving me stunned. I took a note of the account number and checked it two hours later to see what option she went with. If the notes the person in the branch left are to be believed, they offered to upload a bunch of random questions and she had to answer every one of them.

There are fifty questions. I feel for the poor person she next speaks to.

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There’s Nothing They’d Like More Than Distance From You!

, , , , , | Right | April 20, 2021

I work at a fast food restaurant. My coworker is taking orders outside. She approaches a car to take his order. Note that masks and social distancing are required at our restaurant and are followed appropriately.

Coworker: “What can I get for you today, sir?”

Customer: “I NEED YOU TO STEP BACK.”

My coworker steps back a little to give him some space.

Customer: “THAT’S NOT SIX FEET!”

She steps back as far as possible, apologizing to him.

Coworker: “I’m sorry sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “YOU ARE STILL TOO CLOSE. You are DISRESPECTING all the DEAD PEOPLE! Stay away!”

My coworker starts to tear up after being yelled at, and having no other options, she completes his order and he drives to the window. At the window, the customer yells at the employee there.

Customer: “Where is my receipt? I NEED my receipt!”

The employee at the window tries to hand him the receipt when the customer suddenly shouts to STAY BACK. The employee can’t physically hand him the receipt without leaning forward. She decides to put his receipt in the bag and hands him his food on a tray.

Customer: “I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

One of my managers, who is really tough and doesn’t take people’s crap, comes to the window. She’s already heard what’s going on.

Manager: “Sir, I need you to calm down. We are following the proper protocols and are staying six feet apart. We wear masks and sanitize properly.”

Customer: “WELL, YOUR EMPLOYEE HATES DEAD PEOPLE! People are DYING because she gets too close! I don’t even want to come back here!”

Manager: “Okay, sir, I need you to leave the drive-thru. You are upsetting my employees.”

He continues to yell about being a “paying customer” and how he deserves “special treatment.”

Manager: “If you don’t leave now, I will take your food back and refund your money! I need you to leave!”

Customer: “DON’T DISRESPECT DEAD PEOPLE!”

He finally drives off. My manager checks on my employee that took his order. She is crying and terribly upset.

Manager: “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were being safe. Take ten minutes to calm down; you will be okay.”

Don’t be rude to fast food workers! We are doing our best to serve you during a crazy time.

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