The name of the town where we live has been changed, but it still fits the story.

A group of us ladies meets up weekly at a coffee shop for some chatting and company, and to enjoy a safe space around other women. Last week we had been chatting about being healthier and more active as a group, discussing things like hiking and things like that.

Friend: “My friend works the reception at the local sports center, the one with all the tennis courts.”

Me: “The one that is notoriously difficult to book any tennis?”

Friend: “Yes, but she said if we’re able to book a bunch of the courts as a group, she can scan ahead on the diary and reserve it for us at a discount rate. We just need to make sure we can fill up the courts with as many of us as possible.”

Me: “How would you do that?”

Techy Friend: “Social media! My daughter does it all the time! Make a group on Facebook and invite all the ladies. I bet you’d get plenty of women interested in a sporting event free from mansplaining, ha!”

Friend: “Yes, and we could even give it a nice name! Like ‘Cleveland Ladies’ Indoor Tennis’ or something.”

We discuss this and a few more topics while [Friend] grabs a napkin and starts writing down some ideas, including a mock-up of a flyer or banner to put on the Facebook group.

Me: “Uh, [Friend], was it intentional for you to capitalize and enlarge the first letter in each word?”

Friend: “Yes, to make it stand out.”

Techy Friend: “It stands out all right! ‘Cleveland Ladies’ Indoor Tennis’. You see what you’ve done?”

Friend: “Oh… oh! I didn’t notice! Well, that’s even better! We didn’t want the men to come to it; now they won’t even be able to find it!”

We laughed, but we did end up choosing a different name…

I have a service dog with me while I work at a large big-box retail store. One day, a customer approaches me and starts looking at him.

Customer: “Is that dog available for adoption?”

Me: “No, sir. He’s my service dog.”

Customer: “I’ll give you $300 for him.”

Me: “He’s not for sale.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because he’s my service dog. He works with me.”

Customer: “Well, I want to adopt him.”

Me: “And I’ve told you that you can’t. He’s not for adoption or for sale.”

The customer gets angry.

Customer: “Then I’m calling corporate and complaining about you having free-roaming dogs in the store that aren’t for sale!”

Me: “He’s not free-roaming. He’s a trained service dog, and he stays with me.”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

I call my manager over.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Your employee has a dog in the store and refuses to sell it to me!”

Manager: “Because it’s their service dog.”

Customer: “I’ll call corporate and force them to make your employee give it to me!”

Manager: “Corporate won’t do that. They can’t do that. That’s… crazy you’d even think they would.”

Customer: “Things shouldn’t be in the store roaming freely if they aren’t for sale.”

Manager: “Well, sir, would it also surprise you that I’m not for sale, either? Roaming the store freely and all.”

The customer leaves angry and does call corporate.

Luckily, corporate knows that there is a service dog in my store at all times, so they just call me to laugh.

My six-year-old is discussing his future plans now that I’m expecting another child, another boy.

Son: “I have decided not to go away for college.”

Me: “Why, honey?”

Son: “Because the baby will need me.”

Me: “No, honey. By the time you go to college, he won’t need you anymore. He will be grown up.”

Son: “No, Mommy. He will be thirteen, and he will need me.”

Me: “He won’t need you at that age.”

Son: “Yes, he will, because you won’t remember what it’s like being a teenager because dementia, and I will.”

Ouch. Thanks, kid.

I was waiting for my order from a coffee shop (a frappe-type drink). I had ordered a large, which is significantly bigger than the small. It is not a place that puts names on the cups.

Two drinks are ready at the same time. My large and another small one of the same type. A guy reaches over me and grabs the large one and continues to wait with his friend for his friend’s order. I figured mine must not be ready yet.

Another minute passes, and one of the employees asks if the small is my drink. I say no, I ordered a large. The guy who grabbed the large speaks up and says that it must be his, that he ordered a small, and tries to grab it while still sipping on the large.

The employee doesn’t let him take it, calling him out on grabbing the large, which could NOT have been mistaken for a small, knowing he ordered a small. He argues with her, saying he paid for the small and he is going to get what he paid for. She asks him if he paid for the large he was currently drinking. He argues back, saying both drinks should be free for him for “their screw-up,” meaning he thinks the coffee shop was at fault.

The guy gets even more p***ed when the employees give the small drink to a random kid in line and make me a new large and refund me what I had paid.

His friend was standing there the whole time, looking mortified and stunned and begging the guy just to leave (the friend hadn’t gotten his food yet).

The guy ends up storming out, ranting about how he paid for a drink that the shop wouldn’t make for him, saying they stole his money, basically. All while still sipping on that large he grabbed up.

Some people.

Customer: “I want something gluten-free…”

Me: “We have some—”

Customer: “—And sugar-free.”

Me: “Hmm, well, the—”

Customer: “—And vegan and low-calorie. Oh, and no veggies. I hate veggies.”

Me: “How about an apple?”

Customer: “Doesn’t that have sugar?”

Me: “Natural sugars. Not processed.”

Customer: “Oh! Okay, I’ll take the apple pie.”

Me: “Uh… no, not the pie, just the apple on its own.”

Customer: “Just a plain old boring apple? Screw that! I’ll take the pie. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Me: “Uh… okay.”

I reach into the glass counter.

Customer: “Biggest slice, please!”

She pays for her apple pie, commenting that it’s easier than she realized to eat clean and healthy…