Customer: “Do you have body bags?”

Me: “Umm… what?”

(The customer describes something like a poncho.)

Me: “A poncho?”

Customer: “NO! A BODYBAG.”

(The customer then flagged down someone of another ethnicity to help her, saying they would know what she meant. I still have no idea.)

(I work at a retail store as a manager, closing one night. As we get to closing time I get a call over our headset that a sound is coming from the fitting rooms. Since this particular location is on the more sketchy side I immediately call my security personnel (male) and head back to the fitting room. The ladies fitting room is set up in a way that it is a lot bigger than what we actually use, so half of it is partitioned off. This is made apparent with a rope blocking the back half of it, and all stalls beyond that point have no curtains up to block people’s view. It is not uncommon for people to go to this back half for illegal reasons. I go back there with my fitting room associate. The security personnel stays at the entrance since there are still other women in the fitting room. As I get there I can hear one of our alarm tags going off from farther down where this ‘customer’ is ‘changing.’ We both know she’s in trouble but she tries to play it off.)

Customer: “It fell off so I threw it back there!”

(I go to pick it up and it obviously has been cut off as there is a chunk of jean fabric still between the alarm tag and the pin. Going back to her I notice the pants she’s wearing has a big hole in the side. She finally realizes she’s caught not only trying to steal from us but damaging our product.)

Me: “Please hand me all our merchandise including the one you damaged.”

Customer: *sheepishly* “Okay I’ll bring them out to you.”

Me: “Don’t worry. I will be right here.”

(I don’t move as I watch her change. She hands me the pants she was wearing with the hole, the shirt she was ‘trying on’ that has a chunk cut out of it, another two pairs of pants with holes, and another shirt with a chunk cut off. Bundled up in one of the shirts she pulls out the scissors she used and puts into her very empty giant bag. (Something shoplifters do is come in with giant empty bags and leave with them filled.) She also hands me the hard tags and alarm tags she’s cut off the items she handed me, and the other clothes she hadn’t gotten to yet. After she gets dressed I walk her out of the fitting room, past her over-filled shopping cart which has more than clothes. My security personnel walks with me as I walk her out of the store.)

Me: “I shouldn’t need to say this, but I’m going to anyway. Don’t come back.”

Customer: *apologizes over and over again and leaves*

(Thankfully she only ruined the five items, which we now can’t sell, but with those and the many other items she was trying to steal it came to above $500 in merchandise. Fast forward to a few weeks later. It’s a closing shift again, and a girl comes in that I immediately recognize as a friend of the one I kicked out of the store. We know she also steals from us but as we haven’t been able to catch her. We try to keep an eye on her but there’s so few of us versus how many people come into the store and it’s busy, so we lose track of her and she leaves. A few hours later, near closing time, police officers come into our store. Turns out this girl got caught stealing from the store next to us and they called the police on her. When going through her bags they saw a pair of pricey shoes that still have an alarm tag on them, and a price tag that says our store name, obviously not bought. They walk me out to their car where she is sitting, crying and apologizing, saying she’s never done this before (a lie).)

Customer: *saying through sobs* “I’m so sorry; this isn’t like me. I never steal!”

Me: *leaning down to better see and speak to her* “Do not come back into our store again.”

(I then went back inside and continued with my closing shift.)

(It is 2013. I am counting out a register at closing and find the rattiest-looking coupon I have ever seen. It is very old, wrinkled, and the paper is super soft and almost cloth-like from being folded and crumpled so many times. The expiration date is what really gets me. Even though our restaurant is really lax about expiration dates on coupons, the oldest coupons that customers usually try to use are a few months or so old.)

Me: “[Manager], look at this!”

(My manager is counting the register beside me and grabs the coupon I hand over. She too sees the expiration date.)

Manager: “1995? Well, I know one policy that’ll be changing soon!”

(The next day after a managers’ meeting, there is a sign on the bulletin board in the back room.)

Sign: “Attention All Employees: No coupons may be accepted more than a year past their expiration date!”

(I’m a young girl browsing the toy section of a retail store. I’m looking for a particular set of popular figurines. After 15 minutes, I still can’t seem to find them, so I approach one of the workers.)

Me: “Hi, where are the [Figurines]?”

Employee: “Um…” *snickering* “Right behind you!”

(I turn around and find half the store is dedicated to these figures, and they’re literally on every shelf. There’s also a massive light up sign with the figurine logo.)

Me: “Um… um… thanks!”

(I still wonder today how on earth I could have possibly missed them… I’m a regular to that store, and that exact employee always gestures to the figures with a smirk!)

THROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s a crazy experience you’ve had with a religious person? Let us know in the comments!

Tech Support: “All right…now double-click on the File Manager icon.”

Customer: “That’s why I hate this ‘Windows’–because of the icons–I’m a Protestant, and I don’t believe in icons.”

Tech Support: “Well, that’s just an industry term sir. I don’t believe it was meant to-”

Customer: “I don’t care about any ‘industry terms’. I don’t believe in icons.”

Tech Support: “Well…why don’t you click on the ‘little picture’ of a file cabinet…it’s a ‘little picture’, okay?”

Customer: *hangs up*