A New Kind Of China Syndrome

, , , | Right | October 22, 2017

(I drive a delivery truck. I hand over an international package to a residence, so it requires a signature. A lady comes to the door.)

Lady: *as she’s signing* “What exactly am I signing for?”

(I give a standard answer indicating I don’t know the contents of the package, but I verify that I am at the correct address, and that the person named on the package does indeed live there. She confirms that she is the person to whom it was addressed.)

Lady: “Who sent it to me?”

Me: *looking at the label* “Uh… Not sure, but it’s coming from China…” *spots a packing list and sees “contents: 1 dress”* “…and it seems to be a dress.”

Lady:China? I ordered a dress from the Internet, not China!”

He’s Only Delaying Himself

, , , , | Right | October 21, 2017

Me: “What can I get for ya?”

Customer: “Marbs.”

Me: “What kind?”

Customer: “The kind you smoke.”

(We have 31 different kinds of Marlboro cigarettes in our store, if I remember correctly, and I’m new to the job.)

Abstinence, The New Fragrance From The Makers Of Ignorance

, , , , , | Right | October 21, 2017

(My coworker who stocks pharmacy overnight overhears two young customers looking at condoms.)

Customer #1: “Hey, which condom do you recommend?”

Coworker: “The best kind of birth control is abstinence, but we don’t sell that here.”

Customer #1: “Abstinence? Yo, man, have you heard of that?

Customer #2: “No, I have no idea. How do you spell that?”

(My coworker told them how to spell it, and the customers said they would go home and search it. I pity today’s youth.)

A Consoling Amount Of Change

, , , , , , | Right | October 21, 2017

I am the customer here. I was just starting junior high so, naturally, I didn’t have a job at the time, but the announcement of a new game console had me excited. I started saving money from gifts, loose change, etc, and keeping it all in a glorified piggy bank.

Fast forward several months, about one month before the console launches, and I count out my money, and find I have enough for the console plus a couple games, even after tax. However, due to not having a chance to grab coin rolls, and the fact that stores need to manually count change anyway, the majority of this change is unrolled.

The console comes out, and my family brings me in to buy it, and I come in with this tin containing all of my saved-up change. I grab my games and the console and get up to the counter and buy them. The cashier greets me in a friendly manner and rings through my stuff, for a total around $400. I pay with the cash and gift cards I have amassed, leaving still around $200. Then I start having to dump the coins onto the counter, and I see the cashier’s eyes open wide.

They politely help count the change and we go as fast as we can, but it takes about ten minutes, at which point I think we’ve miscounted and I actually only have $350 total, meaning I have to put back one of my games. I start recounting the now-organised money, to make sure I have enough, but in my panic I can’t keep count. The cashier politely says I have enough, and rings me through just fine.

However, to this day I still think they said I had enough just so they could get me out of the store faster. Despite this, I still have that console and it’s my single favourite purchase I’ve ever made.

Comes With A Puffy Instruction Manual

, , , | Right | October 20, 2017

Customer: “I received the pillows, but they did not come with instructions on how to use them. Please help!”

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