Not The Sharpest Piece Of Parenting

, , , , , | Right | September 22, 2017

(I work in a store that sells kitchen utensils. A customer has put some items on the counter, including a packaged knife. The knife is a very bright colour, and as she puts it down, her four-year-old daughter reaches out to grab it.)

Customer: “No, honey. I have to pay for it first, but you can play with it when we get home.”

Me: “Excuse me, but that’s a knife, not a toy.”

Customer: “I know it’s a knife; it’s one of those plastic ones. She can have it.”

Me: “No, it’s a real knife. It’s very sharp; it will cut her.”

Customer: “No, it’s plastic. Look at the colour.”

Me: “That’s a painted-on coating. Look right on the edge; you can see the metal edging of the blade.”

Customer: “Oh, well, what’s that for? It’s obviously plastic.” *points to a separate plastic item in the package*

Me: “That’s the scabbard, to protect and cover the blade.”

Customer: “Oh. We don’t want it, then.” *turns to daughter* “You can’t have the knife, because the mean lady said so.”

Irony Is Calling For You

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2017

(I’m a nurse in a medical office, and I am in the middle of treating a patient, when a cell phone begins ringing.)

Patient: “It is SO rude for you to let your phone go off while you are taking care of me! I should be your only priority, and I can’t believe they just let you play with your phone in here. I’ll just have to speak to your manager about this!”

Me: “Um, ma’am, that is your phone.”

Patient: “Oh goodness, it is.” *then answers phone and begins loud annoying conversation that keeps me from doing my job*

Stocking Up On Toilet Paper Is A Sign Of The Apocalypse

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2017

(The store manager authorizes a woman to purchase 42 packs of a particular brand of toilet paper, thus selling out our entire inventory, which is usually not allowed. The customer then uses coupons for each one, requiring me to do 11 different transactions because of coupon limits.)

Customer: “These won’t all fit in my car. Can I leave them here while I make multiple trips to my house?” *gestures right in front of guest service desk*

(Usually this is not allowed, but I am feeling nice and there isn’t much else she can do.)

Me: “Actually, if you could move them right over there around the corner, that should be all right.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

(The customer leaves them right in front of desk and begins to walk off. My supervisor [not the manager from before] walks up.)

Customer: “Actually, can I get help to my car?”

Supervisor: “For insurance reasons, only cart attendants can help, and we don’t have any in right now. I’m sorry! Someone is coming in 20 minutes, if you’d like to wait.”

(The customer left angrily, came back an hour later, took the rest of the toilet paper, and would not accept help to her car, even though someone was now available. She then demanded I give her the name of my supervisor, and later called to complain about how we were all so rude and unhelpful. Later that day, we had four or five customers come in asking for that brand of toilet paper, but we didn’t have any. When we called other stores to see if they had any, we found out the same woman had bought out the inventory of two other stores.)

Exclusive To One Person Gets You Excluded

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2017

(I answer the phone over the lunch break at work. The CFL is the Canadian Football League.)

Customer: “Hi, I want to talk to the lady I talked to before about the CFL.”

Me: “I’m afraid it wasn’t me, but do you have the name of the person who was helping you?”

Customer: *snapping at me* “I don’t keep track of names!”

Me: “Okay, did you call earlier today?”

Customer: “No. It was like a month ago or something. Just find her for me.”

Me: “If it was that long ago, I really don’t know who that might be.”

Customer: “Well, just ask around!”

(I put him on hold and ask my coworkers at the desk. None of them remember talking to him.)

Me: “No one I spoke to seems to be the lady who you spoke with before.”

Customer: “Did you ask everyone?”

Me: “Well, sir, we have around thirty staff members. I don’t know which one might have spoken to you.”

Customer: “Oh, so, you’re like a big company then. Are they all there today?”

Me: “No. There are only about ten here today, and it’s lunch time, so there are only about five people available.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, my name is [Name] and my phone number is [number]. I want to talk to her about ordering a CFL playbook.”

Me: “Oh, all right. Could I possibly help you with that?”

Customer: “NO! I only want to talk to her!”

Me: “…All right, then. I’ll post a note with your contact information. Have a nice day.”

(The note is currently still sitting there, untouched.)

Pure Blind Ignorance

, , , | Right | September 22, 2017

Me: “Hello, ma’am! Welcome to [Store]. What are you shopping for today?”

Customer: “I want a gold thumb ring.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Our gold rings are right over here.”

Customer: “Let me see that one.”

(I pull a ring out of the case and hand it to her. Note: While I know a lot of the prices, I don’t have them all memorized. Every item has a price tag on it, however.)

Customer: “How much is it?”

Me: “Oh, the price should be on top of the jewelry pad there.”

Customer: “That’s NOT what I asked.”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry; I don’t know it by heart. If you could…” *gestures at ring for her to look at price, or hand it back so I can see the tag*

Customer: “And what if I’m blind, hmm?! I asked you the price! You can’t assume that I can see it!”

(She dropped the ring on counter and stormed away, leaving me to wonder why I would assume she was blind, seeing as how she pointed out the ring she wanted to see after perusing the selection.)

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