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The Way Of Water Damage

, , , , , | Right | March 29, 2023

In the pre-smartphone days, a mother and her brood make their way to my counter in the back, with the most horrifying scowls on their faces. They are enraged. The daughter looks like she is ready to kill everyone in the building. She hands me her phone, and I can see that there is obviously some water behind the screen.

Me: “This is very likely water damage, which voids the warranty.”

Daughter: “That’s not possible! I have never gotten the phone wet.”

She says this despite the obvious water behind the LCD. I show her the indicator on the battery that changes when it’s water-damaged — also the moisture on the battery isn’t helping her case!

Daughter: “No, it’s not possible that it’s water damage.”

She looks at her mother, and the beast bellows:


I take the phone in the back and look up her account to see if there’s anything we can do for her.

Me: “You have insurance on the phone, so you can get a replacement through the insurance company.”

Daughter: “Why can’t you do it in-store?”

Me: “Because it’s water damaged.”

Daughter: *Getting angry and defensive* “You probably dipped it in water when you took it in the back to look at it!”

I was kind of dumbfounded at that point; it was like she didn’t believe in liquid. Fortunately, I saw that one of the lines on the account was available for an upgrade, so instead of arguing with her, I just told the daughter that she could upgrade to a brand-new phone for a big discount instead.

The mother was still unhappy, but the daughter managed to convince her to just drop it and buy her a new phone, instead.

People will do anything to avoid taking the blame, even when the evidence is obviously right in front of them.

Completely Missed The Smoking Gun

, , , , , | Working | March 28, 2023

This is way back in the 1980s when you could smoke in your office.

A coworker and I share an office, but she wanted my job (which was higher), so she began complaining vociferously to management that her health was being affected by sharing the office with me due to my smoking.

Since I knew that she lived with a boyfriend who smoked, I knew her complaint was bogus.

So, one weekend, I just up and quit smoking. I’m not saying it was easy, but my motivation for showing her up was stronger than my cravings.

When I entered the office on Monday, I had not been smoking for three days. I continued for the week, waiting to see when she would notice. She never did, and she continued complaining to management about my smoking.

After two weeks, my boss sat her down and told her that despite her statements, our office had been smoke-free for two weeks, and she never saw it. He suggested that perhaps she needed to find a job with a different officemate since she had pretty well poisoned her relationship with us.

I still don’t smoke, and it’s forty years this year, so I thank her for her deviousness!

Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…, Part 3

, , , , , , , , | Legal | March 27, 2023

I answer sort of the “official” phone of the company after the CEO. I don’t know if that matters. I only know I have been getting a lot of scam calls lately, but being “official”, I can’t refuse to answer unknown numbers. And I am fed up with them.

Scammer: “Hi. I am calling you from Microsoft Support. There is VIRUS on your computer.”

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling.”

Scammer: “You have virus on your computer, and I will tell you how to remove them. First, you need to—”

Me: “You do know that you have called an adult phone line? We charge $5.99 per minute. I am totally fine with talking to you, but I just need to make sure you understand the cost of this.”

Scammer: “What? I will not pay $5.99 per minute.”

Me: “You are still on the phone with me, and the meter is running.”

Scammer: *Panicky* “You cannot charge me $5.99 per minute!”

Me: “I am not charging you. Your phone company is adding it to the bill. You accepted this when you didn’t hang up after the initial message before you were connected to me. All our prices were explained there.”

Scammer: “I will not pay.” *Hangs up*

Five minutes later, the phone rings again.

Me: “Hello, [My Name] speaking.”

Scammer: “There was no message before I was connected to you. If you are charging $5.99 per minute now, you are scamming me!”

Me: “After I told you I was charging $5.99 and that this was a phone service for adults, you still called me back, and now you’re telling me that despite the fact that you now know we charge $5.99 per minute, you want to talk to me about not paying $5.99 per minute… for $5.99 per minute? So far, you have spent $33 on this. As I told you before, I can keep talking to you about the bill, or we can switch to something more like what my other customers want to talk about. What are you wearing now?”

Scammer: *Click*

I am male, and I work in the finance department of a software company.

Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…, Part 2
Well, Well, Well, How The Turntables…

Women’s Jean Sizes Are A Load Of Baloney, Anyway

, , , , | Right | March 24, 2023

I used to work in the Juniors section at [Department Store]. At the time, I wore a size fifteen. A girl who was the same size as me walked in with two friends. She picked up a pair of jeans that were a junior’s size five. She went to the fitting room and then came out again.

Girl: “They fit perfectly!”

Friend #1: “What?! No way!”

Friend #2: “There’s no way you’re that small!”

Girl: “Yes, they do! They’re just the right size!”

She paid for the jeans and left.

I heard from another coworker (who had also witnessed this) that the girl came back hours later and exchanged the size five jeans for a pair of size fifteens.

No Need To Sell Rugs When They Can Just Walk All Over Their Employees

, , , , , | Working | March 21, 2023

Several years ago, shortly after I graduated college, I worked at a furniture store for a while. I was originally hired as a front desk/secretary-esque person, but through various things, I basically ended up with the job and responsibilities of a manager without the corresponding authority or bump in pay.

When I started, I was told that I was going to be on “probation” for six months and that I would potentially get a raise after that probation was up. Six months passed.

Manager: “You’ve been doing really well and I’m going to give you a raise of seventy-five cents an hour.”

Me: “Great!”

The first payday came up after the promise of the raise, and the manager pulled me into her office.

Manager: “So, I’ve had to pay several bills, and I can’t give you the full amount of your raise; I’m only going to be able to give you twenty-five cents right now. I’ll give you the other fifty cents in a couple of months.”

This was before I realized how horrible this job was and how much under-the-table and frankly illegal s*** went on at this store, so I naively believed her, although I was a little disappointed. Honestly, I should have gotten it in writing — not that she would have honored it at all; she would have figured out some way out of it — but again, naivety.

Me: “Okay.”

Months went by, and the rest of that raise never came around. Every time I tried to bring it up to [Manager], she gave me something about bills taking the extra money. (A lot of that was her not paying the vendors until they yelled at her and threatened to not make the furniture.)

Finally, almost a year went by. Costs were going up, and while it wouldn’t necessarily have been the end of the world without it, having that extra little bit would’ve helped me, so I went to [Manager] again. On this day, her husband (who technically owned the store) was there.

Me: “Hey, I’m wondering if I could start getting the rest of that raise you told me you were going to give me.”

Owner: “You know what, we need to talk about that. Can you meet me at [Nearby Coffee Chain] on Sunday? We’ll talk before the store opens.”

By this point, I was seriously jaded at this job and never believed anything they said, so I knew I was probably not going to get anything. But I agreed.

That Sunday, I got to the coffee shop and [Owner] wasn’t there. He finally walked in almost an hour late, blaming traffic. I just brushed it off although I knew that if I’d been almost an hour late, he would have lectured me about it.

Owner: “You’ve been doing really well. [Manager] has told me how helpful you’ve been and everything you’ve been taking on. So, you know that you wear a lot of hats; you’re helping the salespeople input orders and taking payments, and you’re accepting deliveries at the warehouse. You’re assisting with opening and closing the store and with the floor moves when needed. You also need to function as a secretary for [Manager] and for me.”

I noncommittally agreed, despite the sinking feeling that told me this was going to go about as well as I knew it would.

Owner: “So, what I’m going to do is give you a seventy-five-cent raise.”

Me: “Is that in addition to the original fifty cents [Manager] still owes me?”

[Owner] either didn’t listen or purposefully ignored me. I know which one I think it was, but you decide for yourself.

Owner: “You’ll be getting a seventy-five-cent raise starting with the first paycheck of next month.”

That part made sense since we were technically at the end of a pay period and payday was the upcoming Tuesday.

Owner: “We really appreciate all you do. Please keep up the good work.”

And off he went after promising me a whopping twenty-five cents — since I took away the original fifty I was still owed — thinking he’d just changed my life. He went home and I got to go open the store for another not-so-joyous Sunday.

I finally found a new job, but I had to suffer for another six months. I took the new job and ran out of there so fast I’m surprised I didn’t leave tracks. I didn’t even stop to consider reporting to Labor & Industries, although I honestly could have gotten a lovely settlement (between the wage theft, the fact that I regularly worked seven days in a row without a day off because the manager always managed to have a valid reason/excuse/whatever, and just general business practices) if I’d bothered to pursue something.

I will admit that I didn’t think about shedding a tear when I found out they’d closed about a year after I left.