It’s Criminal How Dumb They Think You Are

, , , , , | Legal | August 7, 2020

I’m a till supervisor in a large store of a major UK supermarket chain. It’s around closing time on a Sunday and my colleague calls me over to his till where a couple is having trouble paying.

Colleague: “Their card is not working; is there anything we can do?”

Customer: “It’s probably because the card is bent and the white line is damaged.”

Me: “No, the chip isn’t working; we’re not allowed to swipe your card and I don’t think it would work anyway since your card is damaged. Sorry.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, we’ll leave it, then.”

The customers start to walk off, leaving their shopping trolley behind.

Colleague: *To me* “Hey, that bag they’ve got; they haven’t paid for anything that’s inside it!”

Me: “You’re sure?”

It’s a large store so the exit is kind of far. I start following and I call the security guard on one of the store mobile phones I carry. I can see him.

Me: “Yeah, the couple coming down now with the [Other Supermarkets] bag haven’t paid for whatever is in that bag.”

Two guards stop them as I get closer and grab the bag. The customers — who I should probably call shoplifters at this point — start to struggle.

Customer #2: “We’ve paid for that!”

Customer #1: “This is a violation of our rights!”

The security guard started pulling meat out of the bag under a coat. Once they saw me, they gave up saying they paid and just took their coat out of the bag and quickly left. It’s likely that they knew the card wouldn’t work and had zero intention of paying. The guard told them not to come back.

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It’s Sweet When The Truth Comes Out

, , , , , , | Right | August 6, 2020

I am working as a waitress.

Me: “Good evening. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Well, you tell me. I am allergic to sugar.”

The guy at the same table, presumably on a date, speaks up.

Other Customer: “Is that even possible? Like, wouldn’t you die without sugar?”

Customer: “Oh, I mean I’m on a diet. It is just what I tell people so I don’t they don’t add any to my meal. I think I will take the ice cream.”

I had to go to the kitchen to laugh. The guy left halfway through their dinner.

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Sounds Like This Stud Has You Screwed

, , , , , | Working | August 5, 2020

I needed to get my car inspected for registration, so I went into one tyre store that does rego inspections. I was told the minor things that needed to be fixed — e.g., the number plate light — and that I’d also need new tyres.

Since they were a tyre store, I said that they could replace them.

Later that day, I got a call from one of the workers saying that a wheel stud had been sheared.

“Okay, how long until you get the replacement?” I asked.

“We’ve got some in stock; it’s going to cost you [price],” the worker said.

“Excuse me?” I said incredulously. “You broke the wheel stud; you have to replace it.”

This went back and forth for a while. Eventually, I got the manager to call me back.

This call did not go well.

“We take great care with all of our customers’ cars,” he claimed. Meanwhile, I could hear a rattle gun in the background definitely over-tightening a wheel nut.

The manager ended up yelling at me and hanging up. I came and got my car, and it took a call to the regional manager to get my replacement stud.

I found that they had sheared another stud and stripped one more when I got home.

After having to pay for two more studs, I took my car to the place I normally get my tyres and they replaced the tyres without incident, and for less money.

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A Ding In The Hands Of A Ding-Dong

, , , , , , | Legal | August 3, 2020

My dad had six years with no claims on his insurance and his current insurance was up for renewal in around three months.

We were shopping one day and when we were heading back to the car, we were hit with over ninety-kilometre-per-hour winds. Thus, when my dad went to open the car door, it was blown out of his grasp and hit the door of the car next to us. We checked a few times and realised the only damage was a scratch in the paint as his door just scraped the outside of theirs. 

We waited for them to come out and when they did, my dad calmly explained what had happened and that it was an accident, handing over his insurance details along with his phone number in case this other guy’s insurance needed to hear it from him, too.

The guy was fine with it and said there was no use to get in contact with them as it was only a light scratch. Between them, over the course of ten or fifteen minutes, they agreed for my dad to pay for the scratch to be painted over. We left it at that, other than confirming where the “repair” was getting done so my dad could pay them, and we took pictures. There was text communication between them over the next few days confirming this was what was agreed.

Everything was all done and dandy… or so we thought. When it came time for my dad to renew his insurance, he was shocked at the quotes he was getting. He was currently paying approximately £300 per annum, and the cheapest he was being quoted was £550. He suspected there was an issue with the website, so he called them up to speak to someone where he was given the same quotation.

Understandably, he was confused, so he asked why it had almost doubled when he’d had a six-year no-claim bonus. The operator promised they would look into it and call him back within the hour. When he got the call back, that was when he found out this other guy did file a claim, despite saying he didn’t feel like they needed to as the matter had been solved civilly. My dad had proof of this via text. He was told that the other guy had provided pictures of “extensive” damage and had been awarded a payout.

Now, my dad was even more confused. A paint scratch is not extensive damage, and he’d covered for it to be repainted.

He told the operator all of this and it was just silent for a long time. Then, he was told to submit all the evidence online, but he didn’t have Internet at his house, so it was agreed that someone would be coming around to assess the evidence a week from then. They also confirmed that they had placed a temporary hold on the insurance to cover the time period.

So, a week later, we got a knock on the door. We assumed it was the person being sent out — alongside a police officer. That was when it dawned on us how serious this was. We showed them the evidence, including dates, times, messages, pictures, etc. Then, they asked for the name of the company who repainted the car and we gladly gave it. It was only a mile from where we lived. We both assumed they went there to confirm things with the owner of the place, but we were kept out of the loop for another fortnight whilst they investigated.

Finally, we got a call and the full picture came out. They had ruled in our favour. The guy in question had gotten into an accident a month or so later, which was where the extensive damage came from. He’d worded it that my dad was the cause, but my dad’s picture, alongside messages, proved the timing did not fit. The payout he’d been awarded had to be paid back in full to the insurance company and my dad’s rates would be lowered to £320, which was roughly what he was expecting it to be. We found out in the local newspaper that the guy was found guilty of insurance fraud and got stuck with a large fine alongside a six-month jail sentence.

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The Saga Of Jane Complain

, , , , , , , | Right | August 3, 2020

I am sixteen, working my first day of employment EVER. I am assisting and observing a coworker at the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant. My coworker is giving me some tips when he looks up at the screen that shows incoming cars and stops talking.

He immediately calls out to the workers on the grill.

Coworker: “I’ll need three [burgers], cooked fresh, one with tomato but no pickles, one with pickles but no tomato, and one without either but extra mustard. It needs to be hot. I need three large portions of fresh fries, one salted, one unsalted, and one extra-large unsalted!”

Me: “What’s happening?”

Coworker: “Just watch.”

As he is doing all this, I see him gather together every type of sauce and sachet and condiment we own, in varying numbers and combinations. He also prepares four soft drinks: Cokes and Diet Cokes, each with ice and without. While doing all of this, he takes out his mobile phone — he’s a manager so he’s allowed to have it on him — and takes a picture of every item in front of him.

The customer pulls up to the window as soon as all the food arrives.

Customer: “I’ve been waiting so you had better hurry.”

Coworker: “Certainly, madam. You’re the only vehicle in the drive-thru, but I apologise if you felt there was a wait.”

Customer: “Whatever, I’ll take a [burger], no pickles, with fries, not salted, and they better all be fresh and hot! And if it takes longer than—”

Before the customer can finish their sentence, my coworker has bundled up the food.

Coworker: “Certainly, madam. I have your food ready right here, so there is no need for you to go to the collection window! If there is nothing else your total is [total].”

The customer stares at him for a moment as if challenging him.

Customer: “Actually, make that a [burger] without pickles and tomato, but extra mustard. And I want a Diet Coke! No ice! And hurry!”

Coworker: *Almost immediately* “Certainly, madam. I have that food right here, and your total is now [total].”

Customer: “That can’t be fresh and hot!”

Coworker: “I assure you, madam, they are all fresh off the grill and too hot to touch right now. I bet if you took a bite right now in front of me, it would burn your tongue.”

My coworker says this last part with a smirk on his face. Now he’s the one issuing challenges.

Customer: “We’ll see about that. While we’re at it, make my fries extra—”

Coworker: “—extra-large, madam? Of course, I have that right here, and I won’t even charge you the upcharge. Your total is still [total].”

Customer: “I want the salt on the side, not the fries!”

Coworker: *Grabbing a salt sachet* “Certainly, madam.”

The customer narrows her eyes but wordlessly hands over her card for payment. My coworker swipes it and hands back the receipt with the food.

Coworker: “Thank you, madam. Here is your receipt which lists the date and time of the transaction, the exact and itemised listing of your order, your payment method, and who served you, which is me, [Coworker]. I’ll put my copy here at this counter for reference. Have a great day!”

The customer looks like she is about to say something, but instead, she scowls and drives off. Before I can ask what just happened, my coworker turns to me.

Coworker: “It’s a good thing you met her on your first day! We call her ‘Jane Complain.’ She used to come in almost every day and complain about having to wait, even for just a few seconds, and she would always get a discount or a free item because of it. When we started to wise up and get her order ready for her so she would have no wait to complain about, she started to add silly little changes to the order to catch us out, but only ever small things like tomato or pickles; she isn’t very imaginative.”

Me: “Wow.”

Coworker: “I’m barely getting started. Then, she started to complain that the food was too cold and not fresh enough, so we would prepare a sizzling hot batch the moment we saw her car. She still complained it wasn’t hot enough, but we stood our ground on that one and said if she ate the burger right there in front of us and it didn’t burn her mouth, we would let her have it for free. She was about to do it but then realised how hot it actually was. I make sure I remind her of that every time she challenges the ‘freshness.'”

Me: “And the receipt bit?”

Coworker: “If she can’t scam free food from us when she purchases it, she usually comes back five minutes later to claim we missed something, which we didn’t, but policy states we have to give it to her if we can’t prove it. She always conveniently loses her receipt, too. Now I make sure to remind her that we both have copies of that receipt, it has all the information on it that I can use against her, and my copy isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.”

Me: “That’s awesome!”

Coworker: “It’s become a matter of principle for us! We want to keep one step ahead of her so she can stop scamming us. The look on her face when we’re a step ahead of her is priceless.”

The day continues without incident and I continue to be mentored. Near the end of my shift, I look up at the screen and see that same car pulling up.

Me: “[Coworker]! Jane is back!”

Coworker: “Here comes the backup complaint!”

She pulls up and my coworker makes sure he is the first to greet her with a smile. He is already getting out his phone.

Coworker: “Nice to see you again, madam! What can I get you?”

Customer: “I was here earlier this afternoon and you forgot my fries!”

Coworker: “That was the [burger] with no pickles and no tomato, extra mustard, extra-large fries, salt on the side, with a Diet Coke and no ice. Your order was at 2:37 pm precisely, and I have the picture of the order right here, which clearly shows the fries with the burger and drink. You’ll see that the photo is both time-stamped and has the checkout’s clock in the background. Are you sure you didn’t just ‘misplace’ your fries?”

Customer: “This is absurd! That is no proof! Get me your manager right now!”

Coworker: “I am the manager on duty at this time. If you’d like to make a complaint to corporate, you can find the number on your receipt, which I can still see on your dashboard next to the empty fries container. Thank you for dining at [Fast Food Restaurant] and I hope we see you again. We’ll be ready!”

With that, he shuts the window and walks away. The customer sits there dumbfounded for a moment but eventually drives away.

In the year that I worked there, I witnessed “Jane Complain” come back many many times. Sometimes, she would frustrate the combination of food enough that there would be a delay, but since everyone in the kitchen was wise to her antics, they were able to get the substitutions to her quickly enough that she could no longer scam free items. I even got to serve her directly myself after my training and it was very satisfying denying her, eliminating any excuse she might have to complain.

When she stopped coming by, we soon discovered through friends in our nearest branch that she had started her tricks again over there. My coworker “assigned” himself a cover shift in that other branch to be the one to greet her over there and was just as ready for her there as we all are here.

She hasn’t been seen in three months. We miss her.

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