F*** You, I Got Mine

, , , , | Legal | February 27, 2021

My old machining lecturer used to work at a machine shop/factory as a machinist. They would work large blocks of aluminum down to saleable parts.

The factory manager would give them a bonus but take off money for every part in their scrap bin.

My lecturer was good but never got the full bonus, unlike his coworker. 

[Coworker] always got the full bonus, even with the new, difficult jobs. The funny thing was that [Coworker] didn’t even have any experience, and to talk to him, he seemed utterly clueless; the guys didn’t like him much.

That was, until the police turned up and took [Coworker] away. It turned out that when [Coworker] made a mistake, he cut a bit off at a time until the massive block of metal turned into dust and chips. 

He cost the company thousands to get a bonus of £50.

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It Pays To Pay Attention

, , , | Right | February 26, 2021

I am at a sandwich shop that lets you pick your own ingredients and have the sandwich made in front of you. As I’m picking my vegetables, the customer ahead of me at the register suddenly shouts.

Customer: “What do you mean, no?!”

I look over, as does the employee helping me.

Cashier: “I mean that I know that that woman is not paying for your sandwich.”

She gestures her head toward me, which baffles me, as I’ve never seen this man before in my life.

Customer: “Well, that’s… I mean…”

He blusters a bit, glancing over at me a bit awkwardly.

Cashier: “This is the third time you’ve come in and tried to convince us that someone else is paying. Yeah, we remember. Now, that will be [price], and if you think about coming back to do it again, just don’t.”

The customer stands there, looking like he is flipping between being angry and being intimidated. Finally, he does pay, takes his sandwich, and shuffles out. I get up to pay and glance back over my shoulder.

Me: “Wow. Did he really try that before?”

Cashier: “Yeah. The first time, we didn’t catch it until after the other person had paid, so that was a whole mess, because of course, he’d run off.”

Me: “Ouch. Well, glad you could call him out now.”

Cashier: *Nods and leans in* “Yeah. Just, don’t tell my boss. He’ll just get mad about me ‘upsetting a customer.’”

Me: *Raising an eyebrow* “As if I wouldn’t be upset about being charged for someone else’s sandwich?”

The cashier just gave an eye-roll and a shrug, while his coworker nodded and laughed. Here’s hoping that guy learned his lesson and didn’t try that again.

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Tri A Little Harder Next Time

, , , | Right | February 22, 2021

We have a very relaxed returns policy in our store, which leads to some people taking advantage. 

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this tri-colour quinoa I bought. I spoke to [Manager] on the phone earlier.”

Me: *Checks the bag* “Ma’am, that’s red quinoa. We don’t sell that.”

Customer: “No, it’s tri-colour quinoa.”

Me: “It really isn’t. It’s red. We don’t sell that; therefore, I can’t refund it. “

Customer: “It is! The black and white quinoa fell out of the bag and all through my car!”

Me: *Pauses* “I’m sorry, I don’t think that happened.”

The woman left the store muttering. She later called the manager and complained that I’d humiliated her, called her a liar, and made her cry.

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In Bad Company

, , , , , | Right | February 21, 2021

I work for a small start-up website used for producing yearbooks. As the main non-technical staff member, I’m almost always the one who answers the phone.

I answer a call from a man claiming to represent a company doing much the same as us, only in India. They apparently want to partner with us but want to get some more information about the business first.

I’m suspicious of his actual motives, since all my requests for information about the company he is calling from are met with vague and evasive answers. I send over some basic marketing materials — nothing proprietary or even un-Googleable –hoping that will satisfy him.

The next day, he calls back.

Caller: “I’m very upset with you! I wanted much more detailed information about the company! I wanted financial data! You not sending this is clear evidence that you aren’t taking this partnership seriously!”

Me: “We aren’t prepared to hand over any private information to anyone who refuses to tell us anything about who they were or what they want.”

The caller becomes extremely aggressive and rude.

Caller: “Who do you think you are to make that decision? You’re just an account manager! You’re not anybody of consequence in the business! Put me through to someone who has the power to decide things!”

While “account manager” is my somewhat official job title, the nature of the company means that my actual duties are many and varied, effectively covering anything non-technical or executive. The organisational structure of the company is very flat; there is the CEO and then there’s everyone else.

Me: “The only person who can decide on partnerships is, in fact, the CEO, and if I take the proposal to him without being able to even give the company’s name, he will not be interested. You’re asking for a lot of extremely sensitive information about our company, but since you are unwilling to even give the name of your company, there is very little incentive for me to trust you.”

By now, the whole room is staring at me.

Caller: “What would it take for you to trust me?”

Me: “At the very least, you could give me the name of the company and a contact number so that I can do my own research before getting back in touch if I want to.”

Caller: *Shouts* “FINE, I’LL EMAIL YOU!” *Click*

I recapped the exchange to the CEO, who said that while I’d handled it well enough, I’d been far too patient and polite, and that if the guy called back again, I had his full backing to tell him to “f*** off” or to pass the phone over so the CEO could say it himself.

I never did get the company name or hear from the man again. To this day, I’m not entirely sure what his goal was, other than being vaguely shady, but if his principal tactic is to berate and belittle the gatekeepers at a business, I don’t think he’s likely to achieve it.

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It All Comes Down To The Wire

, , , , | Right | February 16, 2021

When customers order large dollar amounts from our store or website, they tend to wire the money directly to us. Wiring the money can take anywhere from one to five business days before it shows up in our system.

A customer calls us because she has a pending order of $45,000. She keeps asking us to release her order. After explaining that we can do nothing until the money arrives, she claims that she spoke to someone in sales who told her the order could be released on credit terms. This means she has thirty days to pay. This is something we only offer our corporate, education, or government customers.

My coworker, who believes the best in everyone, tries to track down every employee this customer could have spoken to about releasing her order. She spends maybe half an hour trying to figure out who told the customer her stuff would be released and overnighted. After finally giving up and asking another coworker to look into it, she tells me what’s been happening.

I am much more cynical and ask my coworker if she ever considered that the customer probably lied to her about speaking to anyone else. It has never even crossed my coworker’s mind!

Considering how no one in our company would tell her something that goes against every policy, especially on such a large dollar order, my coworker eventually begrudgingly admits that it is possible that the customer probably was hoping that if she claimed someone in another department told her we could ship her stuff, we would bend policy for her. 

When I reach out to the customer the next day to get the bank receipt for her wire transfer, she says she sent the wire two hours before her first phone call! There’s no way it would have shown up in our system in that time!

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