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When Will These Idiots Learn That Cameras Are Everywhere?!

, , , , | Legal | November 29, 2021

One evening, my wife was telling me about her day. It seems that an old lady had sent her work a letter threatening to sue them for a slip-and-fall injury sustained on their premises.

When they looked at the camera recordings of the incident, they could clearly see the old lady walk onto the doormat in the front entrance, spot a patch of wet mat, go over to it, make an exaggerated slipping motion, and then very carefully lie down on the floor before calling for help.

My wife isn’t sure what will happen about it, since it went straight to the company’s lawyer, but I can imagine the old lady won’t get any satisfaction out of it.

Also, the old lady happened to be my best friend’s grandmother.


Militantly Opposed To Accommodating Scammers

, , , | Right | November 28, 2021

Back in high school, I got a summer job at an amusement park. If you were active-duty military, you and your dependents got free access to the park once a year.

A lady came in with a group of kids and other adults and handed me a FAKE active military ID. The image and information looked legitimate according to my reference sheet, but she had seriously printed it out and badly duct-taped it to a white plastic card. No one with her had a dependent ID, either.

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t accept this ID. I could lose my job for letting in a group of over ten people for free.”

She argued with me. I pointed out that her fake ID was actually illegal, but her attitude clearly told me she didn’t care.

Lady: “If you won’t give me free tickets, I want to talk to your manager, supervisor, or whoever!”

Me: *Gladly.* “Okay!”

A manager, who was in their twenties, came, but the woman yelled at them, too, and demanded a higher supervisor. The supervisor, an older, no-nonsense lady, came out.

Supervisor: “Ma’am, I’ll call security to keep you from leaving and gladly wait here with you for the cops to come.”

She finally left with her group and never came back.

Fool Me Once, Shame On You. The Second Time Ends In Arrest.

, , , , , , | Legal | November 27, 2021

I am walking down a busy street in NYC when a man steps in front of me.

Man: “Your hair is beautiful.”

I try to side-step him.

Me: “Thank you.”

He steps in front of me.

Man: “Hey, look, I’m an artist trying to get my name out there.”


Man: “Look, wait. I’m [Man]. What can I call you besides beautiful?”

I recognize him from somewhere. It doesn’t click right away, but when it does, I decide I can waste a few minutes with him.

I give him a random name, and he starts to write the fake name on the CD sleeve.

Man: “Okay, [Random Name], now look: I just need a donation of, like, $10.”

Me: “Why?”

Man: “For the CD, you know?”

Me: “Nobody buys CDs anymore. It’s all online.”

Man: *Getting mad* “Now look—”

Me: “I don’t even have a CD player.”

Man: “Are you f****** joking?!” *Louder* “Hey! Hey, I need a cop! Come here!”

A nearby cop comes over.

Man: “This girl asked for a CD — I wrote her name on it and everything — and now she won’t pay me for it.”

Me: “I never said I’d pay for anything.”

Man: “I put her name on the CD! I can’t sell it to anyone else!”

He shows the CD.

Me: “That’s not my name.”

I pull out my ID and show the officer. He looks at my ID, then at the CD, and then at the man.

Cop: *Grinning* “Well, she’s not [Random Name]. Go on, miss. Have a nice day.”

Man: “What the f***, man? Come on! This b**** is costing me money!”

Me: “Thank you, sir.”

I get a few feet away before I continue talking.

Me: “And by the way, these CDs are probably blank. I have one back at my apartment if you want proof.”

The man lunged at me but the cop grabbed him and put him on the ground. I walked away to the sounds of the man yelling at the cop for allowing me to scam him as he was being tucked into the back of the cop car.

Buy Direct Or Get Wrecked

, , , , | Right | November 25, 2021

I work in customer service, where the customer will contact us if they have any issues with their online orders.

This customer called us because they had a complaint about a pair of shoes they had ordered. The shoes on the website were, of course, good-looking and new. The customer had not only gotten the wrong pair but they were also used to the point that you could only throw them out; they sent us pictures later.

The customer was understandably not happy about this and demanded to get compensated. Now the fun started.

When I asked for an order number, the customer provided one that was definitely not used in our system. After a bit more information, I found out that the customer had not even ordered it from our website, but from a scam website, which had used part of our name and our company’s address to seem as if it was a sister company to ours.

The customer was not happy about this answer but would take a look at it from the “company” they had ordered from.

I thought this was the end of it, but boy, was I wrong.

Over the next few weeks, the customer contacted us on a regular basis via email (mostly) regarding these shoes from our “sister company”. They had apparently been in contact with the scammers and demanded compensation. The scammers responded that the customer could get a partial refund or similar but never a full refund.

And because of that, the customer returned to us, since we apparently had to deal with our “sister company”.

Their reasoning was that since the scammers were using our company’s address and other information, then this was our responsibility and we should pay the customer back for the money lost. The customer backed their logic up with the fact that their husband was a lawyer and he had said this was correct.

Each and every time the customer demanded us to pay back for their own mistake, they got the same answer (just worded slightly more politely): “Sorry for this, but no, we are not responsible for you making an order on a scam website.”

After a long enough time, I think the customer got the message that we neither could nor would help them with something that wasn’t a mistake on our side. And there was no way we could have done anything about the scammer’s website. I did ask my bosses about this a few times.

I have no idea if the customer ever got their money back, but I think that’s highly unlikely.

He’s A Lie-Smith

, , , | Right | November 25, 2021

Customer: “Do you have any bigger turkeys?”

Me: “No, sir. That’s all I have.”

A few minutes later:

Customer: “I screwed that up. I’m supposed to pick up a turkey we ordered.”

Me: “Sure. What’s the name?”

Customer: “Smith.”

I go look in the back. I don’t see a turkey for Smith. I look at the order book — still no order for Smith. I’m fully ready to get yelled at.

Me: “Um… I don’t see your name in the orders. Do you know who you spoke to?”

Customer: *Creepy smile* “I was hoping that was a common enough name that there would be one in the back.”

Me: “So, you didn’t order a turkey?”

Customer: *Bigger smile* “Happy Thanksgiving!”