Your Attempts To Get Around The Policy Are Half-Baked

, , , | Right | January 19, 2019

(I am the manager at a bakery that does a lot of weddings. At this point in the year, we are usually fully booked for multiple weekends and have to turn customers away. I have a customer email with questions about having us do her wedding in October, and I have to tell her that we are already booked for that day and apologize for the inconvenience. About an hour later my coworker answers the phone and then has to pass it off to me.)

Coworker: “This woman says that she emailed about her wedding and that you told her we’re booked, but that she could call and we would try to schedule something, anyway.”

(I’m pretty sure I’d never say that, but okay. I answer the phone.)

Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I sent an email about my wedding and was told by someone that you are booked.”

Me: “Yeah, that was me who responded to your email. I do apologize, but we are fully booked for that weekend and aren’t able to take on any more wedding orders.”

Customer: “Oh, but, umm… I called and spoke with your other location, and they said that you could still try to fit me in; I just had to call and talk to you about it.”

(Our other location is a storefront that we do all of the baking for, and I know that they wouldn’t give out this kind of information without asking me about it first. And if a customer calls and needs to talk to someone from our location, they usually just transfer them, which they didn’t do for this customer.)

Me: “I’m really sorry; I don’t know why they would tell you that. We already have five other weddings for that day, and just aren’t able to take on any more orders at all. Do you remember who you talked to, so I can find out why they would give out false information?”

Customer: “Oh, no. That’s fine. Thanks, anyway.”

(We get way too many instances of people trying to work around our policies and get us to do whatever they want, even if we physically can’t.)

Being A Thief Ain’t No Sunshine

, , , , | Legal | January 19, 2019

(I am working third-shift in a convenience store. One night, a somewhat intoxicated woman comes in carrying a handful of sunglasses.)

Woman: “Hi. I need to return these sunglasses.”

Me: “Hello. I can help you with that; I just need to see your receipt to process your refund.”

Woman: “They didn’t give me no receipt! Just give me my money back.”

Me: “No problem; I can reprint your receipt. When did you purchase these items?”

Woman: “Um, Tuesday?”

Me: “Okay, and about what time on Tuesday?”

Woman: “I don’t know; my sister actually bought them… from [another location]. Just give me my money!”

(At this point the customer staggers and knocks over a jerky display.)

Me: *having lost all patience* “Lady, you stole these sunglasses, didn’t you?”

Woman: “Please, just give me my money! I need some money, please!”

Me: *taking the sunglasses and putting them on the back counter* “No, I think I’ll call the police, instead.”

(The woman cussed me out and fled the store. The next day the district manager sent out an email warning about a woman who stole some sunglasses from [other location]. I called him and told him I had them right here with me.)

National Shame

, , , , , | Legal | January 15, 2019

(A drunk man has entered our store and asked a few customers for money.)

Manager: “You can’t do that here; you need to leave.”

Man: “But I lost my wallet and I just need some bus fare. Can you give me some?”

(He walks over to stand in front of the manager where there are shelves and our registers between him and her. He’s so drunk he leans against the shelves.)

Manager: “No, I want you to leave now.”

Man: *on his way out* “Some b****** stole my wallet and I just need a little money to get home.”

(He approaches a few passersby outside the store.)

Manager: “That’s it. I’m calling the police”

(She rings the police and as I’m serving I hear her say that the man threatened staff and customers, and she hangs up the phone.)

Manager: “That will get them here quicker”

(By the time the police arrive, the guy has moved on. I leave the manager to talk to them while I keep serving, but can hear the conversation.)

Policeman: “Can you tell us what happened?”

Manager: “A drunk man came in and wanted money.”

Policeman: “He tried to rob you?”

Manager: “No, he asked customers for money for bus fare, and he asked me, too, because he lost his wallet.”

Policeman: “You specifically said he threatened people. What did he do?”

Manager: “He asked customers for money.”

Policeman: “But did he actually threaten anyone?”

Manager: “Uh, no.”

Policeman: “Well, why did you say he did? You know, you could be in trouble for making false accusations.”

Manager: “Oh… I’m [Nationality] and couldn’t think of the right words in English at the time because I was upset; I meant to say I felt threatened.”

(It was not the first time I’d heard her lying to save her own skin, but this time she realised that she could have been in big trouble, and on the occasions that I’ve heard her calling the police, she’s never tried that one again. She had come to Australia as a small child and had spoken English with an Australian accent for over thirty years.)

When The Customer Is Not Always Right, Everything Else Is

, , , , , | Right | January 15, 2019

(Our old store manager is notorious around our town for caving into abusive customers and giving them whatever they want, no matter how crazy their requests are. Head office recently “redistributed” him to a lower position at another store, so we have a new store manager who, unlike our previous one, stands up for the workers. This takes place during her first week.)

Me: “Hi. How are you?”

Customer: “I want to return this and I don’t have a receipt.”

(The customer places a large container of olive oil on the register, but it’s our competitor’s brand.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but it looks like you bought this at [Competitor]. We can’t actually do refunds on things purchased from there.”

Customer: “Bulls***! You do price matching, so it’s pretty much the same as that. I paid around $20 for this, so refund it.”

Me: “As I said, it’s not a brand we sell, so I cannot refund it.”

Customer: “Get me [Old Store Manager], now!”

(I call up our new store manager. The customer stands there calling me every four-letter word you can imagine until the manager walks over and I explain the situation to her.)

Manager: “As you purchased this item from our competitor, you will need to go to them for a refund.”

Customer: “Who the h*** are you? Get me [Old Store Manager].”

Manager: “He no longer works in this location, ma’am, and I am the new store manager here.”

Customer: “Well, then do your job, you [long list of swear words]; otherwise, I’ll smash your face in, and his!” *pointing at me*

Manager: “If you think you are going to get away with this BS, you are sadly mistaken.”

(Our manager pulls out her phone and takes a picture of the customer.)

Customer: “What the h***?”

Manager: “As you have just threatened me and my employee, I am taking your picture to show the police when they get here. Furthermore, I will give this picture to all of my staff, including security, to ensure that you are denied service here any longer. Plus, I will send this picture to all our surrounding stores, as well as our competitor, so they are aware of your violent streak.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for this.”

(The customer left the store in haste and left her olive oil on the counter. She tried to shop at our store two more times that I know of, but each time was stopped by security. Our new manager, needless to say, has stopped a great majority of abusive customers in the past few weeks. It’s been great.)

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Spaghetti To Die For

, , , , | Right | January 14, 2019

(I am the owner of a restaurant. It is an Italian restaurant that I named after my grandfather who taught me the restaurant business. Before the official opening, I invite several friends and family members to sample the food and evaluate service. About two weeks after the official opening a customer comes in with two other people.)

Customer: *to the server* “Hi. We were supposed to be here last week but could not make it. The owner gave me a coupon for a free meal for all of us because we were unable to attend the pre-opening.”

Server: “I am not sure that we are taking coupons.”

Customer: “I have a card signed by the owner, and he said to present it to you when I came in. I want my free meal.”

Server: “Let me get the manager and see what he says.”

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “The owner gave me this card saying we can get a free meal because I missed the opening. He signed it.”

Me: “May I see the card? I see the owner signed it. I am afraid I cannot accept this.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you can’t accept it? The owner signed it, and you work for the owner, so you must accept it.”

Me: “When did he give you this coupon?”

Customer: “Last week. I was at his house, and he gave it to me.”

Me: “So, you saw Joe [Surname] last week at his house. How did he look?”

Customer: “He looked fine. We want our meal now.”

Me: “I am sorry, but I cannot accept this, and I want you and your friends to leave now.”

Customer: *quite angry* “You have no right to throw me out. We want our meal. Do I have to call Joe?”

Me: “Please call him. I would love to talk with him since he died over fifty years ago and I am the owner.”

(The customer left.)

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