Everything Will Be Starbucks Soon

, , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(I’m a cashier in this story at a bookstore. It’s around 10:00 am on a Saturday. At the back of the store is a Starbucks, but unfortunately, every once in a while people don’t pay attention…)

Me: *noticing the next person in line has no purchases* “Good morning, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “One triple shot latte, please.”

Me: “Ma’am… this isn’t Starbucks.”

Customer: *looks up at me, sees there are clearly no coffee machines anywhere* “Oh! I saw the Starbucks logo in the window and just assumed…”

Me: *points to Starbucks*

Customer: *walks away quickly*

Me & Coworker: *bursts out laughing*

(I think she needed a quad shot that day!)

The Temperature Of Confusion

, , , , , | Right | January 8, 2019

Customer: “I need to make an appointment for my car.”

Me: “All right, when were you looking to come in, and what’s the problem?”

Customer: “I need an oil change, but I also have an issue. Something isn’t right.”

Me: “All right, what’s the issue you are having?”

Customer: “The engine smells… hot.”

Me: “It smells hot?”

Customer: “Yes, it smells hot.”

Me: “All right, are you smelling burning? Fumes? A coolant smell?”

Customer: “No, it just smells hot hot. [Owner] will know.”

(I get this frequently: that my owner will know. Of course he remembers every person and every problem!)

Me: “Is there any way for you to describe the smell more clearly?”

Customer: “Umm… It smells hot.”

Me: “All righty. Well, I have the notes in here, and [Owner] will check out the car when it’s in.”

(I go out to the garage after to tell the guys that this woman’s car “smells HOT and that [Owner] will know!”)

Tech: “Did you ask her what cold smells like?”

This Christmas, All Through The House, Someone Is Stirring More Than A Mouse

, , , , , , | Related | December 24, 2018

(My sister, her husband, and I have travelled to our hometown to spend Christmas with our parents. My parents are religious and go to church on Christmas Eve, but my sister, my brother-in-law, and I stay home.)

Sister: “Hey, do you want to go see [Movie] tonight?”

Me: “Yeah, sure.”

Sister: “Great, it’s at [time], at [Theatre near our house].”

Me: “Sounds good.”

(I get myself organized and call to them.)

Me: “Hey, I’m ready to go any time!”

Sister: “Great, have fun!”

Me: “You’re not coming?”

Sister: “No, um… [Brother-In-Law] doesn’t feel like going.”

(Slightly annoyed, but still wanting to see the movie, I go out. I text my friend in my city while waiting for the movie to start and tell him what happened. He replies:)

Friend: “Ha! I bet they wanted you out of the house at the same time as your parents so they could have sex!”

Me: *dawning comprehension* “G**D*** IT!”

Friend: “Merry Christmas!”

Unfiltered Story #133404

, , | Unfiltered | December 18, 2018

me: Good morning (company’s name)
customer: Where are your stores?
me: Actually we do not have any stores, our company is based online and over the phone. This means that anything you order from us is delivered directly to you.
customer: (frustrated voice)Okay…but where are your stores?
me: Like I said. We have no  store locations. Everything is online.
customer: (Even more frustrated voice) Why are you not answering my question, where is your store.
me: Like I said we do not have any physical store locations. We are all online.
Customer: (yelling at this point) You dumb B****, it’s a simple question. Just tell me where the store is.
Me: There are no stores.
Customer: Well why didn’t you just say that earlier. (hangs up)

Around 1 in 5 calls is like this. If they stay on the line I transfer them over to the appropriate department of products they are looking at. The people who get my transfer calls sit behind me. The first line I always hear my coworkers say after getting one of these calls is “No, we do not have any store locations, we are only online”. Because the customer still doesn’t understand the concept of online.

I Prefer A Rocky Road Highball Myself

, , , , , , | Right | December 9, 2018

(I am the idiot customer in this story. The legal drinking age in Canada is nineteen, so it is quite common to have a fake ID when younger in order to get into bars and clubs. I am fifteen and have just gotten my first fake ID, and my friends and I are going to our first ever bar to celebrate. The sign at the bar reads, “Highballs on special $5.00.” Now, being fifteen, I have no idea what a highball is, and I assume it is the name of a specific cocktail or something like that.)

Me: “I’ll have one highball, please!”

(The large, burly, bartender looks at me suspiciously.)

Bartender: “Okay… Which one?”

Me: “Just… just one highball. The highball?”

Bartender: “Yes, and which highball, exactly, do you want?”

Me: *becoming totally flustered and trying to read the sign again for the name of a specific highball* “The sign says highballs are on special! I… I want that… from the sign! The… normal highball!”

Bartender: *clearly exasperated* “Miss, you can’t just walk in and order ‘a highball.’ That’s like walking into an ice cream shop and ordering ‘an ice cream.’ There’s vanilla, chocolate, pistachio, mint—”

Me: *completely flushed now, embarrassed, and terrified that I will be thrown out of the bar any minute now, in a shrill voice* “VANILLA, THEN! I’LL TAKE A VANILLA HIGHBALL!”

Page 1/1012345...Last