The Kindness Of Teleporting Old Ladies

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2020

Having just spent Christmas in British Columbia with my family, I am waiting for my flight back to the UK and decide to buy a British Columbia keyring as a tacky souvenir. There are two old ladies behind me in the queue.

Me: “Would you like to go ahead of me? Looks like you’re stocking up on souvenirs!”

They are carrying loads of stuff.

Ladies: “Oooooh, that’s very kind of you, dear; we always get carried away!”

Me: “No problem at all!”

We engage in minor chit chat while we wait about Christmas and our families, etc. At this point, my flight is called.

Me: “Oh, d***, that’s my flight! Oh, well, my keys are heavy enough as it is; I’ll leave it.”

Ladies: “Safe flight, dear. Nice talking to you.”

Off I run to catch my flight. I’m sitting in my seat on the plane and there’s a tap on my shoulder.

Lady: “After our little exchange, we thought you deserved a souvenir.”

She handed me the keyring they had bought for me! I thanked her profusely; it made my day! I can’t work out how two old ladies managed to get on the plane before me, though.

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One Is The Loneliest, Most Unhelpful Number

, , , , , , | Working | July 28, 2020

I am in a quiet, low-cost clothing store, walking the winding path made by impulse-item shelves to the registers, when a woman walks in the exit of the tills and plunks her stuff down in front of the man at the counter to do a return.

I stand, a bit annoyed, as another worker putters behind the long counter, seeming kind of bored, mainly holding up returned items and then laying them back down in the same spot, no note-making or other actions.

The return drags on and two other women come to line up behind me. After the three of us wait for about a minute, the woman behind the counter wanders to a till and says:

Salesperson: “I can help you here.”

Me: “Why couldn’t you help me a few minutes ago?”

Salesperson: “You were the only one in line.”

Me: “What? So?”

Salesperson: “They don’t like the line getting too long.”

Me: “So, you just left me standing there until more people came?”

Salesperson: “Well… you were the only one there.”

I walked out, leaving my basket on the counter.

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Many Layers To Their Stupidity

, , , , , , | Working | July 27, 2020

Out with my partner at an Italian restaurant, I order a pasta dish and specify that I am allergic to raw onions and garlic; my body overreacts to the compound that makes most people cry.

This is a snooty and expensive restaurant. Over $300 — along with a comfortable tip — is dropped on this meal for the two of us and the waiter is well-to-do and rather snobbish.

When my plate arrives, a long stock of green onion is stabbed into the middle of it as a garnish.

Me: “Hold on. I told you I’m allergic to raw onions.”

Waiter: “There’s— There’s no raw onion here.”

Me: “But… what’s this?”

Waiter: “That’s a green onion stalk.”

Me: “What is it?”

Waiter: “A green onion.”

Me: “Without the colour.”

Waiter: *Pause* “Green onion.”

Me: “Okay. Without the first word.”

Waiter: “Green—”

Me: “No! Wait! Not that word, the second word.”

Waiter: “Onion.”

Me: “Yeah.”

The waiter stares, motionless, at me and I say:

Me: “I know I wasn’t clear about the severity of the allergy, but it is anaphylactic. I need new sauce that hasn’t touched any raw onions.”

I got my new dish and all was good, but to this day, I now always order, “No raw onions, green onions, spring onions, or garlic, please. It’s an allergy.” My friends all know my spiel as well as I do and will sometimes do it for me if it pleases them.

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Unfiltered Story #201603

, , , | Unfiltered | July 27, 2020

(This happened not long after I started working at the local grocery store. We’re experiencing an unexpected rush, and are so busy that my manager had to help out on a till. Since he had other work to do, I am told to let him out as soon as I get back from my break. Less than a minute after I start checking out my first customer, a women runs up to my till.)

Woman: “Where did you put my ham?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Woman: “Where. Did. You. Put. My. Ham?”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know what you-”

Woman: “What do you mean you don’t know? I went through here less than five minutes ago!”

Me: “Ma’am, you might have been here five minutes ago, but I wasn’t.”

(At this point the woman seems to realize that I (a caucasian teenage girl wearing the store’s uniform) am not my manager (a middle aged black man wearing a suit and tie). Luckily, my manager hadn’t gone far, and he was able to answer the woman’s question before she turned too red. This was my first experience with customer stupidity, and I’ll never forget it.)

We’re Sorry For The Lack Of Chemicals In Our Products

, , , , , | Right | July 6, 2020

I work in customer care for a company that makes bath and beauty products. All our stuff is marked with a sticker on the packaging stating the date it was made and the best-before date. 

One day, I receive an email along the following lines.

Email: “Dear [Company], I have a bottle of shower gel that has changed colour and consistency. It is clearly defective! I want a refund right away.”

The person has attached pictures. I write back.

Me: “Thank you for reaching out to us today. I took a look at your pictures and it does look like your shower gel has changed a bit. However, I also noticed that, based on the date sticker, it’s almost three years old. We usually recommend using our shower gels within about a year from the date of manufacture, as stated on the sticker. Unfortunately, since it’s outside of this window, I’m afraid I can’t offer you a refund.”

She responds, with certain words capitalised:

Customer’s Response: “Bulls***! I bought this because I thought that your company made high-quality products and I paid a lot of money for it. It should NOT GO BAD! My shower gel from [Other Company] doesn’t do this because SHOWER GEL SHOULDN’T SPOIL and I want my money back NOW.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you’re disappointed. I can’t speak to the products made by [Other Company]. However, at [My Company] we are aware that our products do not stay good forever due to the ingredients we use. Many of them are natural components that have many benefits when fresh but break down over time, just like milk or fresh produce. This is why we put the use-by sticker on our packaging, to make sure that our customers are getting the full advantage.”

Customer: “THIS IS F****** R*****ED! SHOWER GEL ISN’T MILK OR EGGS OR FRUIT AND IT DOESN’T GO BAD! IF YOUR INGREDIENTS ARE CAUSING THE PROBLEM THEN USE BETTER F****** INGREDIENTS!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you’re not happy with our products. However, many of our products actually do contain the things you mentioned. Your shower gel, for example, has fresh strawberries in it. The other ingredients in the gel will keep it from spoiling or growing mold as quickly as it would on its own, but yes, it will eventually go off.”

The previous responses came very quickly; the next response takes over an hour to show up in the inbox.

Customer: “YOUR PRODUCTS STILL SUCK AND I’M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE YOU DON’T STAND BY THEM.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Please have a nice day.”

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