There’s Already A Big Baby In The Room

, , , , , | Right | January 23, 2020

I work as a photo lab tech in a big box store. As I’m doing the morning’s setup and prep for the day, an older man comes in to print his pictures. As I’m helping him, we begin chatting. He asks normal questions, like, “How are you?”, “Nice weather we’re having,” etc.

Eventually, the questions start to become a bit more personal. “Are you married?”, “How long have you been married?”, “Have any kids?” I answer them, as they’re still normal chit-chat questions. “Yes, I’m married,” “We’ve been married seven years,” “No, we don’t have kids.”

Apparently, he doesn’t like that my husband and I don’t have kids, because his next question is, “Why not?” As this is a bit of a sore subject for me, I answer with my normal, “It just hasn’t happened yet.” This guy is not happy with this. He keeps asking, “Why?” Finally sick of this guy, I tell him the truth, hoping it will shut him up. “Because both my husband and I have medical issues that will not allow us to make babies.”

This guy, I kid you not, looks at my face, looks at my bust, looks at my pelvis, looks back at my bust, looks back at my pelvis, and then looks at the computer that is printing his pictures. “You should have babies.”

I glare at him and silently give him his pictures.

He is back two days later to print more pictures. He doesn’t recognize me.

A Stickler For The Sticker  

, , , , | Right | January 20, 2020

(I’m ringing up perfumes for a customer. These perfumes have cellophane packaging.)

Customer: “Can you peel the price sticker off?”

Me: “I can cover it with a blank one.”

Customer: “No, I don’t like that. It will not look nice.”

Me: “If I peel the sticker off, the plastic packaging might rip.”

Customer: “Just do it slowly.”

Me: *groaning inwardly*

Customer: “Here, let me do the other one.”

Me: *trying to lighten the mood* “I don’t have nails long enough to lift the sticker, sir.”

Customer: “Just do it slowly.”

Customer’s Wife: “She said she can put a blank sticker on it.”

Customer: “What? Black sticker? I don’t want a black sticker!”

Me: *looking forward to the end of my shift since it’s my last day before moving on to another job*

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They Are So Not Ready For Blu-Ray

, , , | Right | January 13, 2020

(A couple, perhaps in their 40s, comes into our bookstore.)

Customer: “Do you have any videotapes?”

Me: “Do you mean DVDs or actual videotapes?”

Customer: “Videotapes.”

(I show her the shelf where we have a few old movies that have come in with boxes of books. She stands there looking confused for a surprisingly long time, and then says:)

Customer: “I guess I mean CDs.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t want DVDs?”

Customer: “No, CDs.”

(I show her where the CDs are. She looks at a few.)

Customer: “No, this is just music. I wanted movies.”

(I showed her the shelf of DVDs and sat down to practice a few mental head-desks. By the way, the man said nothing during this whole transaction.)

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Voicemail Jail

, , , , | Legal | January 12, 2020

(I used to be a telephone operator for a telco. At one point, some customers in one exchange — for example area code 222, prefix 456 — begin having a problem. Someone in the exchange has set up an automated system that is sending them advertising voicemails — probably one of the forerunners of robocalling. This is in the days where basic voicemail has a capacity of ten messages. My coworkers and I have talked to managers about the complaints, but what is happening is not illegal. Then, one day, I have a caller who says that he is getting the voicemails every twenty minutes, so in a little over three hours, his mailbox is full and he cannot get any more. Ah-ha! I go back to my manager and relay what is happening to my caller.)

Manager: “We’ve talked about this before and there is nothing illegal happening.”

Me: “My customer loses the use of his voicemail box after three hours. Voicemail advertising may be legal, but a DOS attack is not.”

(My manager got a strange look on his face and reached for the phone. The problem stopped very soon after. I suspect he called legal.)

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The Mall Is Not A Time Machine

, , , , , | Working | January 10, 2020

(I see one of my employees arrive but instead of coming into the store they go to the food court. They come to the store half an hour later.)

Me: “Why are you late? I saw you arrive half an hour ago.”

Employee: “My shift isn’t until 1:30!”

Me: “It was at 1:00!”

Employee: “Oh… Can you fix the log in so it says I came at 1:00?”

Me: “No, because you didn’t!”

Employee: “I was at the mall, though!”

Me: “Again, no!”

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