I was working at a Canadian Tire back in the early 2000s.

Customer: “I’m looking for this specific outdoor patio set.”

Me: “Looks like we’re out of stock, but the [next town location] has a couple left. I can call them to put one on hold for you?”

Customer: “That’s okay, I just wanted to see it in person for now. I’m moving down to Washington and was hoping to pick it up there. What’s the nearest Canadian Tire there?”

Me: “That… would be the one you’re standing in now, sir.”

Customer: “There isn’t a Canadian Tire in Seattle?!”

Me: “There are no Canadian Tires in America.”

Customer: “Huh?! Why?”

I explained it to the customer and then laughed with a coworker about it afterward.

For weeks after that, the entire department would be caught singing the chorus of the song ” There Are No Cats in America” from “An American Tail,” but changing the wording to those I used with the customer.

Many years ago, I was clearing out my grandma’s apartment after her passing. Mostly trying to sell off whatever no one wanted, including her computer. I decided to see if I could sell it through one of the computer repair/used computer shops.

The first one I called, I had seen ads for all over town, so I assumed it was relatively reputable. They asked me how old the computer was. I told them I had no idea, and they said to bring it in, and they’d have a look, but that they could probably give me about $100 for it. Awesome.

When I get to the shop, the vibe is off. About five guys are working in the back, and none even acknowledge my presence for a good few minutes, like talking amongst themselves, not working, and ignoring my initial hello. Eventually, one guy comes over.

Tech: “So, how old did you say this computer is?”

Me: “I have no idea, it was my grandmother’s. I think she’s had it for a few years at least.”

Tech: “Riiight. This is old as f***. I don’t know why you even bothered bringing it here.”

Me: “That’s why I called first, and whoever I talked to said to just bring it in.”

Tech: “That was me, and you didn’t say it was old!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. All computer towers look the same to me.”

Tech: “UGH. Maybe I could use it for parts.

At this point, he took the side of the tower off, and suddenly his mood shifted to really aggressive.

Tech: “Where did you get this?”

Me: “My grandma?”

Tech: “Then why does it say [Grandma’s Male Friend’s Name] inside it!?”

Me: “Probably cause that’s the guy she got her computer from?”

Tech: “Yeah, sure. Okay, well, I can toss this for you.”

Me: “Uh, I brought it in to sell… otherwise I’ll just let my kids play on it.”

Tech: “So you just wasted my time.”

And then he immediately walked away to where the other guys were still sitting and says something to the effect of “can you believe this b****?”

I left very quickly. I ended up giving it back to the friend who had sold it to my grandma. Came to find out he had built it himself, and it had all sorts of fancy parts/programming.

I have one sibling, and our father has no siblings. When my brother got engaged, I sent his now-wife a gift: a teacup from our deceased grandmother’s china set, with a note saying:

Note: “I knew if Grandma were still here, she would be as happy to have a new granddaughter as I was to finally have a sister.”

My brother sends me a text:

Brother: “How come I don’t get an engagement present?”

Me: “You didn’t get me anything when I became your sister.”

Brother: “…because all you had to do was get born, and I was two years old?”

Me: “Excuses, excuses.”

Years ago, I worked at a well-known Canadian hardware and automotive store. While many of these stores can be quite large (upwards of a hundred aisles), this particular one was only thirty-two aisles, plus a small garden section.

I’d been hired to work in the hardware department, but, due to the size of the store, “hardware” basically meant “not automotive”. I covered hardware, housewares, sports, seasonal, and garden.

One day, while stocking shelves in the electrical aisle, I was approached by a customer.

Customer: “Excuse me, I need some help in Automotive.”

As that wasn’t my department, I was about to do what I usually do, and direct her to speak to someone at the automotive service desk. However, from where I was in the aisle, I could see that there was already a fair line-up at the desk.

Me: “Well, it’s not actually my department, but what is it you’re looking for? I may be able to help.”

Customer: “I need new wiper blades for my car.”

Me: “Okay. I’m fairly certain there’s a book we can use.”

I take her over to where the wiper blades are located, and sure enough, there’s a reference book mounted in the center of the aisle. I flip it open and quickly see that it’s organized by vehicle make, model, and year. Perfect, this should be easy.

Me: “Okay, I can help you with this. What type of car do you have?”

Customer: “Oh, I have a blue one.”

Me: “…You know what? Actually, I think you’ll need to go stand in that line and talk to someone at the auto service desk.”

I’m a designer at a sign shop. In our town, most of the car dealerships are named for the owner (things like “Johnson Ford” or “Smith Chevrolet”). Our local Hyundai dealership is no different: it’s owned by someone we’ll call Mike Taylorson (not his real name), and is thus named “Taylorson Hyundai”.

We have a customer come storming across the parking lot of the sign shop one day, with smoke pouring out of her ears. She was clearly VERY upset about something.

Customer: “Do you guys make bumper stickers?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we certainly do.”

Customer: “Good! I want you to make a bumper sticker that says, ‘Taylorson Hyundai screwed me!'”

Me: “Okay, well, yes, we can certainly make something like that. However, because they’re a local business, like us, it’s a little bit of a sensitive issue. The last thing we want to do is upset anyone or burn any bridges. So, while I’m not saying that we CAN’T make this bumper sticker for you, I do need to check with the boss first, to ensure it’s something he’s comfortable with. Unfortunately, he’s out of the office at the moment, but if it’s all right with you, I can take down your information and have him call you when he returns?”

Customer: *Grumbles.* “Yes, fine, you do that.”

I proceed to fill out a work order and take down the customer’s contact info.

Me: “Okay, great, you’re all set. The boss should be back within the next one to two hours. I’ll get this in front of him, and have him reach out to you, so you should be expecting a call from him within that time frame. His name is Mike Taylorson Junior-”

Customer: *With eyes suddenly as wide as saucers.* “WHAT?!”

She proceeded to storm out as quickly as she’d entered, and I waved to her retreating back.

Me: “Would you still like me to have him call you?”

Related:
A Sign Of Things to Come, Part 2
A Sign Of Things to Come