Evidence Cats Are Jerks: Exhibit A

, , , , , , , | Friendly | February 20, 2018

I am walking into work and spot a cat. I’m a massive cat lover, so I call to it. I don’t expect it to respond; in fact, I expect it to run away in the opposite direction.

Instead, though, the cat looks up at me, meows loudly, and then gets up and starts running at me, tail in the air. It meows crazily at me, and I continue with my silly cat noises you do to get a cat’s love.

As the cat draws in, I slowly crouch so I am on a similar level and continue calling. The cat seems to pick up speed. My heart is beating fast; I AM GOING TO START MY DAY WITH CAT CUDDLES!

But then, the cat stops dead, just out of my reach. It meows at me one last time, then totters off happily down the alley.

The little old lady waiting at the bus stop laughs, and my heart breaks.

Who Has To Die Before You Can Reply?

, , , , , , , | Working | February 20, 2018

I am disabled and currently using state career services to find a job. My case manager is notoriously bad at responding to emails. Unfortunately, he has a speech impediment that I can’t understand over the phone due to my disability, so I stick to emailing multiple times until he responds.

I have already had a meeting with him, where I told him I am looking for an internship for the summer before I start graduate school. However, shortly after this my grandmother is hospitalized. I email him to say that I will no longer be looking for an internship this summer, as I have to help my family take care of my grandmother.

I don’t get any response to this email, and my grandmother grows considerably worse and passes away a few weeks later. I assume that the email got lost and I’ll have to send him a new one, but because of the stress of losing my grandmother, I don’t get around to it. Three weeks after the initial email, on the exact day my grandmother is buried, I finally get a response. There is no apology for the lateness or even an acknowledgement that he took three weeks to respond, and it opens with, “I hope your grandmother is doing better.”

It takes all of my strength not to reply, “No. She died, you jacka**.”

Found A Way To Wave This Off

, , , , , | Working | February 20, 2018

(I go into work on what would have been my mother’s 60th birthday. We have a machine that makes blended coffee, and it has been broken for a few days while we wait on a repair guy to come fix it. Most customers are understanding. But this guy in the drive-through is a big exception.)

Me: “You may order whenever you’re ready.”

Customer: “I’d like [breakfast sandwich] and a medium [blended drink].”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, but the machine that makes those drinks for us is currently not working. Could I get you a different drink?”

(I list off the other drinks we have available.)

Customer: “Well, when I pulled up, your greeter said you had [blended beverage] for two dollars!”

Me: “Actually, sir, that price is for any of the small drinks from our cafe list. I just can’t serve you the [blended beverage] today because the machine is broken.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you! Have a nice day, b****!”

Me: *yelling* “Right back at you!”

(As he drives by my window he flips me off. I return the gesture. I then go to the store supervisor and tell her the whole exchange in case he decides to call and complain.)

Supervisor: “I know it’s a rough day for you. But when people are like that and they drive by in a huff, just give them your biggest smile and wave bye-bye.”

Me: “I did wave.”

Supervisor: “Next time do it with more than one finger.”

Delivery Comes Standard, Insolence Is Extra

, , , | Right | February 20, 2018

(The store I work for allows customers to order merchandise online in the store and have it delivered to the store or their home. I am cashiering and a customer enters.)

Customer: “I need to know if my keyboard has been delivered. I ordered it on Thursday.”

(I page the appropriate person — we have radios with earpieces — and they inform me.)

Me: “I am afraid it hasn’t, but will probably be in later today, since no deliveries were made yesterday because of Labor Day.”

Customer: *irate* “They said it would be here Friday! I need it today!”

Me: “I apologize for the misunderstanding. Packages sometimes take more than one day with delivery, and that since it was ordered Thursday, today is the second possible day it could arrive. It should be there this afternoon, at the latest.”

Customer: *huffy* “Well, that doesn’t help me now!

(She leaves. For the next two hours, the day progresses as usual and I kind of forget about it. Customers who get huffy because they don’t pay attention are nothing new. But then she comes back, slaps a receipt down on the table, and says:)

Customer: “I want my money back for this!”

Me: *smiles* “Absolutely.” *processes her refund* “It has been credited directly back to your credit card. Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “Oh, I will, because I’m going to [Competitor] where they have the product and aren’t going to be insolent and rude about not getting it to me when they promised!”

Me: *squealing, my smile broadening* “That sounds fabulous!”

(Out she goes with a huff. I prepare to forget it again, when less than five minutes later I am paged via earpiece:)

Coworker: “Hey, that package for [Customer] arrived!”

Me: “Funny story about that!”

How To Audit Yourself

, , , , , , , | Working | February 20, 2018

(I’m at work when I get the following email from a coworker who doesn’t like me. I think her dislike is because I answer to a supervisor that she doesn’t have in her pocket. She also copies my supervisor in on the email.)

Coworker: “Please review this document and correct the errors made. [Supervisor], if this is going to be a recurring issue, may I suggest [My Name] undergo additional training?”

Supervisor: *in a separate IM to me* “Don’t answer that. Something isn’t right here.”

(While I admit I do on occasion make a few errors, for me to have done this, I would’ve had to go into a completely different system than the one I use and purposely change the information, as I couldn’t have done it the way it was showing from my system. A few minutes later, I get copied on an email from my supervisor.)

Supervisor: “I’ve reviewed the document, and noticed that the error was not one [My Name] could’ve mistakenly made. I checked the audit trail, and it seems that you were the last one to edit this document.”

(I never heard back about that one.)

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