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Short And Not So Sweet

, , , , , | Working | October 18, 2021

I saw a pair of shorts in a shop window for dirt cheap, but it was Sunday, so the shop was closed. When I went back the next day, I found the owners, an old couple, standing right by the door, which I thought was perfect because I didn’t have to go in and could just point at the item. I stood near the door and called out, and the male owner came up to me.

Me: “Hi, this pair of shorts you have here?” *Pointing* “What size are they?”

Male Owner: “It’s [price]. It’s for a double bed.”

Realising he thinks I mean the bed sheet that is currently placed in front of the window, obscuring the view of the pair of shorts, I try again.

Me: “No, no, the shorts!

I gesture with my hands near my knees where the shorts would normally end.

Female Owner: Shorts, [Male Owner]! He wants shorts!

Me: “Yeah, shorts — these ones behind here. What size are they?”

Male Owner: “No.”

Thinking he’s maybe hard of hearing and having trouble understanding me because of the mask I’m wearing, I go a little slower and a little clearer.

Me: “What size are they? Are they a small, medium, large?”

Male Owner: “No!”

Me: *Now baffled* “No?”

Male Owner: “No.”

Me: “Okay.” *Walks off*

I wonder how much they normally sell at that shop.

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This Is Just The Tip Of The Waitstaff Iceberg

, , , | Right | CREDIT: A**hole_Catharsis | October 18, 2021

Automatic gratuity is there to protect the staff (and the business). Because large parties are an extra burden to bear. Because if one person’s section is bogarted by a large party, their night is sink-or-swim based on your “charity”. Because the number one reason service staff will have a breakdown or spontaneously quit their job is getting screwed on a large bill.

Cue this one high-maintenance sort and his family of twelve. Despite their best efforts to run me ragged, everything went super smooth and genial. Then came the bill.

Customer #1: “Uhh, excuse me, but why is there 18% gratuity? I’d like to write in my own tip.”

Me: “And you can! There’s a line below where can add whatever you’d like on top of the gratuity, and it’s much appreciated.”

Customer #1: “No, no, no. I’m talking about the principle! I always tip above 20%, but having it forced on the customer feels unfair.”

Me: *Playing coy* “Well, if you wanted to tip above 20%, you can just add the 2% or whatever on the tip line underneath.”

Customer #1: “It’s the principle!”

I just thanked him and walked away. He sat there stewing for fifteen minutes while his family was polishing off desserts and gathering their things to leave. It was a situation best ignored until they leave.

And sure enough, he had signed the bill with no extra tip — totally shocking — but managed to write out an entire novel on the front and back of his bill, addressed to the owner, detailing why automatic gratuities are the worst thing ever and how much more he would have tipped if it wasn’t an imposition.

One of my first service jobs was at a corporate place where the gratuity was conditional on large parties, and at best you could only ASK the party for permission to apply it. Most said it was fine, but of course, that wasn’t always the case.

One night, my entire section was cordoned off for a large party of twenty, mostly teenagers, and they did obnoxious things like ordering steaks well done, eating half of them, and then complaining they wanted new ones, or asking for extra drinks when I was explicit about no free refills but still complaining when the bill came, etc. I was gutted because I knew what was coming with the $400 bill.

Me: “Hey, you guys cool if we add a gratuity?”

Customer #2: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s an 18% tip added to the bill to ensure staff—”

Customer #2: “Nah, it’s cool, we got you.”

I let out a long sigh and put my head down in shame. They left me $15. My tip-out on the party was $20, and I would never screw the rest of staff, so I took a net loss of $5 for the night. I was shaking and ready to quit. Managers basically said, “Bummer, but it’s life. See you tomorrow.”

I didn’t work there for much longer.

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There’s No Need To Address This Dress

, , , | Right | October 17, 2021

I was off the clock for the day and was picking up a few items for my dad in the men’s department of the store where I work. There was a woman shopping in that department, too. She gave me a few dirty looks, but I disregarded them.

As I was heading to the checkout, the woman went up to the sales associate at the register and asked to speak with a manager.

Associate: *Smiling* “My manager is right behind you.”

She turned around to see me.

Me: *Also smiling* “Is there something I can help you with?”

Woman: “Your appearance is dreadful. Your dress is far too revealing, and you have no business being in the men’s department!”

I was wearing a designer long-sleeve wrap dress with heels. It still confuses me what she thought she could accomplish by complaining.

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Some People Really Will Complain About Anything

, , , , | Right | October 17, 2021

I’ve had a handful of customers make ridiculous complaints about me. These two stand out. The first complained to management.

Customer #1: “[My Name] printed my receipt too close to the end of the roll and it curled too much!”

The second customer took the option to leave a comment about their experience online.

Customer #2: “[My Name] was far too friendly as a cashier and talked to customers. They were obviously on LSD!”

The super fun part was that all those comments get printed and reviewed district wide. And I’m the head coordinator of the department. Conference calls after that were fun.

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I Can’t Hear You; I’ve Got Ovaries In My Ears

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: braptonmassive | October 17, 2021

I was working as a receptionist and office admin for a company in London. It was my first proper job, so I wasn’t as witty or quick with my replies as I am now. It’s coming to the end of the day and my boss — the Head of IT and Office Manager — has just left for the day and this call comes in. It’s a condescending sounding guy from an IT sales company asking to speak to my boss.

Me: “He has just left for the day.”

Caller: *A bit irritate* “Well, I know [Boss], and I could just call his mobile, so just put me through to him.”

Me: “I can’t do that. He is no longer on the premises. If you have his mobile, then feel free to call him directly. Otherwise, I’m happy to take a message and ask him to call you back tomorrow.”

Caller: *Getting pissed* “I don’t want to leave a message with a woman; you wouldn’t understand the technical wording. So, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it. Put me through to a man now!”

This is the point where I should have said, “Yeah, no. Bye,” or just hung up, but being young and having no confidence, I kind of froze, said, “Yeah,” and passed the phone to my colleague, who told the guy to sod off.

There is a happy ending, though. We told our boss the next day, and he rang the guy and essentially slaughtered him verbally down the phone while we got to listen. One of the best bosses I’ve had!

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