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A collection of stories curated from different subreddits, adapted for NAR.

Maybe Being A Jerk Is In This Guy’s Jeans

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Smartalec246 | December 4, 2021

A few months ago, I decided to go shopping for new jeans since I hadn’t updated my jeans since the middle of college.

I was standing in the middle of a department store, wearing a cat-hair-covered sweatshirt and basketball shorts. I had just picked out two pairs of jeans and was comparing them to see which I liked best. That’s when an old man came walking up to me.

Man: *In an accusatory tone* “Where are your sunglasses?”

I couldn’t comprehend what he had just said to me. My mind was doing mental gymnastics. I was thinking, “My sunglasses? Does he mean my mask? Oh, no, did I forget my mask in the car?! No… I am wearing my mask. But I also never wear sunglasses. What does this dude mean?” Meanwhile, I was just staring at the man with my brow furrowed and my mouth open. All I could stammer out was:

Me: “My sunglasses?”

He then took a step closer to me and repeated:

Man: “WHERE. ARE. YOUR. SUN. GLASS. ES?”

It finally clicked in my head that he wasn’t looking for my sunglasses but the store’s sunglasses.

Me: “Oh! Yeah, I don’t work here.”

Now it looked like he was doing mental gymnastics. Luckily, an actual employee nearby who had been restocking clothes the entire time jumped into the conversation and took the old man off my hands.

I still can’t comprehend how my outfit seemed appropriate for a department store uniform; I thought it was borderline acceptable to even be seen in public considering how much cat hair was on it. The entire experience couldn’t have been more than forty-five seconds, but boy, did it feel like an eternity. Luckily, at the end of the day, I have two more comfortable pairs of jeans to wear.

Better Measure Up If You’re Going To Act Like A Tool

, , , | Right | December 4, 2021

I was in the tool aisle of a home improvement chain. There was an actual employee in the aisle next to mine helping another customer. Then, a man walked up to her and tapped her shoulder while she was speaking to the customer she was helping. She told him she would get to him in a moment. He got impatient and huffed and puffed for a minute. I could actually hear him doing this from where I was.

The employee interrupted the first customer to ask the man who’d approached:

Employee: “What do you need?”

Impatient Customer: “What do I need to make a bell siphon?”

For those who don’t know, this is a plumbing device used to automatically suck water out with no mechanics like pumps when water gets to certain levels.

Employee: “I don’t know. You need to go to plumbing.”

She then turned back to help the first customer.

Impatient Customer: *Mad* “You need to help me!”

Employee: “I don’t work in the plumbing department. All I know about what you’re asking is that a siphon is something for water. That’s plumbing. This is tools.”

The man got mad and stormed off. He ended up on my aisle and saw me. I was wearing nothing that said I worked there, other than blue jeans.

Impatient Customer: “Tell me what I need to make a bell siphon.”

I would have helped him had he not just demanded that.

Me: “I don’t work for this store. You need to ask the plumbing department employee.”

Impatient Customer: “I see you all the time in here. YOU ALL NEED TO STOP LYING TO YOUR CUSTOMERS!”

Me: “Okay.”

And I went back to what I was looking for in the tools department.

The man went to some other employee and demanded to see the manager. The manager came over and told him exactly what we both told him.

Manager: “You’re asking in the wrong department, and that person doesn’t work here. I know how to make a bell siphon, though. Can I have your project measurements so I can get the right sized pipes for you?”

The man had to go home and get them because he never bothered to do get measurements before coming to the store for the parts.

Did Anyone Get That Tantrum On Tape?

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: frozen_barbie_head | December 3, 2021

I have a few friends that work on a television show, and this woman I know said that she would do anything to get into the audience of said show. My mate rang me and offered me tickets to said show and I jumped at the chance to go.

Me: “There will be two others besides me. Will that be an issue?”

Friend: “Nope, no issue. Can’t wait to see you.”

[Woman] was given two weeks’ notice of this and kept telling me that she couldn’t wait as this happened to be one of her favourite shows.

The day of the taping arrived and we were doing the compulsory [health crisis] check-ins. [Woman] proceeded to go ballistic.

Woman: “Why do I have to check in? This is all bulls***! Why do I have to do this?!”

Me: “You’d do this anywhere else. It’s just precautionary.”

We finally got past that section, with security giving us “Calm down” looks.

Next, we had to be checked to make sure that we had no weapons. [Woman] erupted again, as loud as she possibly could.

Woman: “F****** h***, this is bulls***!”

Finally, we got closer to the studio. We were asked politely for our ID as they were serving alcohol, and [Woman] was asked to leave her bag in a secure locker as it was a hazard in case of a fire, etc.; you don’t want to be tripping over bags and such.

This was the last straw for her. She began screaming at the poor girl.

Woman: “This is completely f***ed! It’s a massive inconvenience and you’ve ruined my day!”

She then stormed off back into the lift and went home.

This, folks, was the last step before entering the studio. Sadly, my mate rang me later to tell me that [Woman] has now been issued with a lifetime ban and is unable to attend any studio tapings of any show at the network.

What’s The Opposite Of Blowing Things Out Of Proportion?

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: smohk1 | December 3, 2021

In the late 1990s, the store I was working at had a bomb threat called in. The manager got off the phone and called me and the other senior shift person into the office.

Manager: “We need to evacuate the store until it can be searched by the police, bomb squad, and such.”

[Manager], my coworker, and I went to the front and announced that everyone needed to leave the store for safety reasons and meet in the parking lot. We got everyone outside, most people left in their vehicles, and the employees were congregated in a small corner of the lot.

A customer approached us.

Customer: “I know there is a fire or bomb threat or something…but can one of you go in the store and get my jacket that I left?”

After we stared at them with open mouths for a bit, we told them they would have to come back later and get it… if the store was still standing.

The Incredible Hulk Goes Shopping

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: ANONYMOUS BY REQUEST | December 2, 2021

I work in a large home improvement store. The health crisis is at its peak in my state and lines are bonkers at our store — wrapped around the inside of the store to the back wall. As you may imagine, we have many crazies come in over this time, as well as just impatient and frustrated people, which is understandable.

There is a line at self-checkout and this guy is already huffing and puffing and causing a scene in line about having to use self-checkout and having to wait in line. He gets to the self-checkout and proceeds to reluctantly scan his items. As he gets ready to pay, the card reader declines his card due to a chip error — we still don’t know if it was the card or the reader, as our new readers do this a lot.

So, what is the natural reaction for the customer in this situation? Ask for help? Retry the card again?

No. The man straight-up sucker punches the screen, breaking the screen and damaging the LEDs in the screen, rendering the whole system useless as our registers are all on one computer.

My coworker calls over our store manager to notify her that this man has just damaged about $700 worth of stuff and caused a scene while doing it. The store manager shows up to speak with him, and what do you think she does? Call the police? Have Asset Protection put this man on a trespass notice and force him to pay for damages?

No. She gives him all his stuff for free and makes no effort to punish him for breaking our stuff. This makes our jobs more difficult as we have to wait well over a week for a new computer, and this is one of the only two self-checkout machines that take cash, so it slows our lines even more.

I’m so glad I’m out of retail and only have to deal with people yelling at me over the phone now!