A lady calls in to explain that the equipment we have provided isn’t working. I verify that there are no lights active on the equipment.

Me: “Okay, no problem, let’s try a different outlet.”

Caller: “Oh, I can’t move it, there are too many cords, and it’s behind furniture, I can’t move any of it to unplug it.”

Me: “Well, no problem, I can send a replacement out anyway, just know if we don’t try another outlet, you might have the same problem even if we replace it if it’s power related.”

Caller: “That’s okay. Just mail it.”

At this point, the husband takes over.

Caller’s Husband: “I don’t want it mailed, and I don’t feel like driving to your office. I want you to deliver it to me today. Send one of your employees.”

Me: “We can send someone, but there is a charge to have someone deliver it and install it.”

Caller’s Husband: “Why? I didn’t break it. This is bull-s***. F*** you and your company. I can’t believe you would charge me to replace this.”

Me: “We aren’t charging you to replace it, we are charging you to have an employee drive it to you and install it.”

Caller’s Husband: “This is bull-s***. I am not trying to be difficult or a d**k, but your company sucks a**. I pay you for a f****** service, and you’re accusing me of breaking it?! You don’t want to take responsibility, and you want to charge me?! It’s behind furniture. I am not moving furniture to install it myself. YOU COME DO IT.”

Me: “So again, we offer two free options. The charge is for having an employee get pulled off their job to hand deliver it to you. We also don’t move furniture. Think of it like this: if you buy something at the store and it breaks, you have to bring it to the store to exchange it, right?”

Caller’s Husband: “YEAH, BUT I DIDN’T BUY THIS FROM WALMART! I BOUGHT IT FROM YOU! JUST F****** MAIL IT. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE A D**K BUT F*** YOU!”

Gotta love the logic.

Three months ago, my company had a two-hour-long seminar about email phishing and how to prevent it. This seminar also included an update to our email software. Our software has a preview feature; if you hover over a link, it opens a preview of the link. 

I got an email from our “IT Director” saying I was in violation of their internet policy by using social media (a main part of my job), and I was stupid and opened it. It was a phishing test, and they made me do another two-hour-long seminar.

That week, I got the following email from our director:

SENT WITH HIGH IMPORTANCE
Subject: Phishing Email Test

Hello everyone,

This is a reminder to stay aware of phishing emails. Please review the PDF guide and take a short quiz (link) to test your skills by 5 PM.

Thank you,
[IT Directors Name].

Now, on this email attachment, one of the signs to report an email is if it is pressuring you to click a link. I feel like I should report this as phishing, so I did.

I get this email from the director one hour later:

Subject: Reporting Emails

Hello Everyone,

We have received numerous phishing reports about the phishing quiz. Please note that any email sent from: (insert IT director email here) is not phishing. We have included a new link for your convenience.

Thank you,
[IT Directors Name].

To me, this email looks even more suspicious than the last one, so I do the natural thing and report it to “stay vigilant”.  

I have been doing this over two months and everyone keeps getting an email saying that “This email is not phishing”. Please don’t make us sit through two-hour seminars.

Related:
Tell Them To Go Phish!

A young couple came in. We are a high-end place, and it was their first visit. They were dressed up really nicely; it was clearly a special night. I do my usual greeting and ask if there’s anything I can get for them. The young lady slides our massive wine-compendium over to him and says:

Lady Diner: “Pick out something nice, baby.”

I swear to you I will never, ever forget how he IMMEDIATELY found our cheapest bottle. Like ‘anomaly’, cheap, because it was only $36, and the next cheapest was $63. And it’s not like it’s featured. It’s BURIED in the Pinot Grigios, and he found it like a movie character opening a phonebook to the right spot in a 90’s movie.

Gentleman Diner: “Oh s***, you got [Wine]?!”

He said this exuberantly, snapped the book shut, and shoved it back in my hand before his date could confirm what had just happened.

Gentleman Diner: “…Hook. Us. UP!”

Respect, my dude. Well done.

We’ve been selling a lot of Firesticks at the time of this story. I sell over ten a day because of the local cable being discontinued and the cable company forcing everyone to stream on a Firestick or an Apple TV. The internet doesn’t count against your quota (I live in Alaska, so that s*** is a thing), but you have to have internet for cable.

Anyway, when you try to sell Apple products, headphones, Samsung products, etc., you are inundated with prompts to enter the customer’s email addresses so they can get spammed with free trials. Nobody wants them, so we just close the prompt and keep ringing up items.

Our national chain has changed its system to not allow you to ring up a Firestick without putting in an email address, to get spammed with Apple TV free trial emails. If you click out of the prompt, their system will remove the Firestick from the order and not let the customer purchase it.

Nobody wants the free trials, but I have to put in an email… so it is time to send these emails to corporate so that they can get spammed. 

I have been looking up the corporate emails to send these spam-free trials emails that customers don’t want, and I type them into the register and tell the customer:

Me: “I’m made to input an email, so I picked a [Electronics Store Chain] corporate email so they can see what it is like to get these emails they try to force on you.”

This guy comes up to me asking if there are any “offers” on this moisturizer. I scan it.

Me: “It’s at its regular price of $25.”

Customer: “Are there any discounts you can give me?”

Me: “No.”

This man proceeds to harass me for seven-something minutes for my employee discount. I keep saying no.

Me: “One, I don’t even know you, and two, I can get into trouble. They’re tracked, and if I use it on the clock or on a register I’m signed into, it will flag.”

Customer: “Oh, you can just say I’m your friend.”

Me: “I don’t even have it on me.”

Customer: “You’re lying! It’s in your locker!”

Me: “They don’t even let us have lockers!”

Customer: “So it’s on your phone!”

I was so fed up that I was about to call security, but it got busy, and customers were coming up to me, so I said in this annoyed tone:

Me: “I… Can’t…”

He just walked away after that. 

What made him think he could bully me into giving him my discount? Do I look like an easy target? I am pretty shy and timid, but, like, oh my god! I felt like asking him if he harasses employees at other stores for their discounts. I told my manager, and she said to call her if it happened again, which I definitely will do.