Not What They Meant By Networking With The Manager

, , , , , | Right | May 11, 2021

I work internal IT for a big retail company. With everything going on lately, we’ve transitioned to mostly work-from-home for all our corporate users.

User: “I have a laptop, but I need to learn a new software, so I got another laptop and I can’t sign in.”

Me: “Is it a [Company] laptop or a personal one? And is this a Windows or a Mac?”

User: “It’s the laptop; I think it’s Windows.”

Me: “How did you get this laptop? Did it come from asset management?”

User: “Um, no. It came from a coworker.”

Me: “Okay, unfortunately, you won’t be able to sign on from home the first time. You’ll need to get it on the network so it can talk to your account. I know some of the corporate offices are closed, so if you can get to one of the stores, that’ll work, too.”

User: “I have my manager’s approval to use this.”

Me: “I understand that, but if the computer isn’t on the network then it can’t grab your account information.”

User: “Would it change if my manager talked to that asset whatever team?”

Me: “Unfortunately, not really. Even if they said this situation was one where they could make the change to allow the first-time login from home, they’d still need to get it on the network in order to update the account.”

User: “Are you sure? My manager said I could use it.”

Me: “I understand that; however, it still needs to talk to the network to verify your account.”

User: “But the coworker who gave this to me should still be able to sign in, right?”

Me: “As long as they know the most recent password that this workstation cached. However, they shouldn’t be sharing their credentials with you.”

User: “Are you sure I have to get it to the store?”

Me: “Yes.”

User: *Sighs* “Fine, thanks. Bye.”

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I Hear You Loud And Louder

, , , , , , , | Working | May 10, 2021

Lockdown has just started and everyone is still getting used to only meeting with colleagues via video calls. I swear, this happens several times a day…

Me: “Sorry, your signal’s going. I can’t hear you very well—”

Boss: *Shouting* “CAN YOU HEAR ME BETTER NOW?!”

Thanks. Now your signal sucks AND I’m partially deaf.

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The Problem With Public Transport Is The Public

, , , , , | Friendly | May 10, 2021

It’s a few days before lockdown in the UK, very early in the morning. Panic buying has cleaned a lot of the shelves during the day, so I have decided to try and get to the shop as early as possible to give myself a sporting chance of getting something to eat. So, instead of my usual Saturday lie-in, I’m out the door just after six, feeling very tired and grumpy.

There’s a couple already on the bus arguing away. After a bit, the man storms to the front and sits down, but they continue to argue loudly. I put up with it for a few minutes, but there is only so much I can take.

Me: “Will you please both be quiet?!”

Man: “It’s none of your business!”

Me: “You’re absolutely right, but I can hear everything you’re saying!”

They continue but a bit quieter. After a minute, the woman moves and sits down next to the man, and they argue even more.

The bus is running ahead of schedule, so it waits at one of the stops for a few minutes. By now, the volume has increased to the point that I shout:


The driver gets up.

Bus Driver: “I’ve had enough of the both of you. If you don’t shut up, you’ll be thrown off the bus.”

They do shut up at this. The woman mouths to me that she is sorry; the man just looks sullen. The journey continues, this time in blissful silence.

A stop or two later, they quietly leave, at least until the door closes. The argument resumes, but at least it is out of earshot. At my stop, I speak to the driver.

Me: “Thank you for getting them to shut up.”

Bus Driver: “Yeah, I was getting fed up with them, too.”

Me: “Can you imagine what it would be like if they were quarantined together? I wouldn’t be at all surprised if, by the end of the year, I saw either one of their photos in the news about how they were serving life for murder!”

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A Special Kind Of Bigot

, , , , , | Working | May 8, 2021

My carer and I are doing some shopping at a small local shop. We are about to enter when we are stopped by a female shop assistant.

Shop Assistant: “She’s not allowed in.”

Carer: “Why?”

Shop Assistant: “Social distancing rules. Everybody knows they can’t social distance.”

Carer: “Who can’t?”

Shop Assistant: “Those with special needs.”

We left to avoid confrontation.

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This Cashier Has Baggage

, , , , , , | Working | May 7, 2021

I am shopping at a large grocery store during the health crisis. Some cashiers want you to bag your own groceries, some don’t. Since there is no clear policy, I try to just watch what the cashier does and follow along.

This cashier has an issue with the register she is on and has to bring me over to another lane, so I can tell she is irritated from the start. She scans my items but collects them behind the plexiglass barrier so I can’t reach them to bag. I keep my reusable bags all inside one for easy carrying. As she bags, the other bags tend to expand out onto the counter and I can tell she is flustered by this.

Almost at the end of the transaction, the cashier mumbles under her mask to me. All I can catch is the word “two.”

Me: “Oh, yes. you’re right. I do have too many bags there. I could bring in just two next time to make it easier.”

Cashier:No! I said you could help by bagging, too!”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

By that time, she had finished bagging so there was nothing I could do. What did she expect me to do? Reach around the plexiglass to get the items and put them in the bags she had tucked away beside her, all while somehow keeping the proper distance between us? I realize she was irritated from the beginning, but she could have said something if she wanted me to bag my own stuff!

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