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At Least He’s In A Museum?

, , , , , , | Right | May 22, 2022

I am giving a tour to a small group at a history museum, specifically military history. I am explaining a few interesting facts about the Revolutionary War when one of the guests says:

Guest: “Woohoo! U…S…A! Victory!”

Me: “Haha, yes, sir. The Revolutionary War did end in a victory for the USA.”

Guest: “Like they all do!”

Me: “Well… that’s not entirely true.”

Guest: “Nuh-uh! America wins every war it’s in!”

Me: “Sir, I recommend you visit the south pavilion after this tour. You might find what it says about the Vietnam War very enlightening.”

Guest: “Woohoo! Another victory!”

Other Guest: *Having had enough* “Dude… who’s in charge in Afghanistan right now?!”

Waiting Your Turn: A Skill A Toddler Can Master And A Customer Can’t Handle

, , , , | Right | May 21, 2022

It’s a nice summer day, so my husband and I decide to take our toddler to get ice cream after the park. The ice cream shop has a limit on how many people can be in the place at a time, so we are waiting outside along with some other people. My toddler asks why we can’t go in yet but is satisfied with the answer that we have to wait our turn.

A man and woman join the line.

Man: “Is this seriously the f****** line?! Why is it so f****** long?”

My Husband: “They have a limit on how many people can be in the store, so we’re just waiting for some people to leave. It actually looks like it’s moving quickly.”

Man: “That’s ridiculous! I don’t want to wait out in this heat! I should be able to go inside and get my ice cream. Why the f*** are they making us wait out here?”

My Husband: “Probably because of everything going on right now.”

Man: “They’re stupid, making us wait in line.”

Someone Else In Line: “You realize that even if we could go inside, you’d still be in the exact same place in line that you are currently? You’d be waiting the same time.”

The man stared at the other customer, muttered something about how it was still stupid, grabbed the woman with him by the arm, and stormed off.

Pressed For Cash

, , , , , | Right | May 20, 2022

It’s 2020, and in the midst of the first lockdown. In order to keep us – and our customers – safe, our managers have decided to implement a rule which means we cannot take cash. The safe in the office is empty. We have no money in our till drawers. We cannot take it at all. There are signs all around the shop stating this (several on the front windows, two on the front doors, one on the hand sanitiser, on the fridge doors – basically everywhere). Still, we get customers who think they are an exception. With this, being berated for mask laws that aren’t our choice, and trying desperately to calm panic buyers who want a dozen packs of toilet rolls, we are fed up.

I am serving a line of people when a man comes to my till, scans through the shopping, and then tries to hand me a £20 note.

Me: “I’m very sorry, but we’re not accepting cash at the moment.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “We cannot accept cash. You can pay by card, or if you don’t have it on you I can pause the transaction and keep your shopping to the side while you get it.”

Customer: “Just take the money!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we have no change to give you; we have no cash anywhere on the premises.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous and illegal! This whole rule is just a f****** disgrace and you should be ashamed of yourself! Just take the f****** cash and do your job!”

At this point, a supervisor who is standing nearby steps up beside me.

Supervisor: “I won’t tolerate you talking to anyone like that. We have no change in the drawers or anywhere in the shop. It is the manager’s rule, so either pay by card or just get out.”

The man silently paid by card and left, and I was honestly shocked. My supervisor was a friendly, fairly quiet guy who I had never heard talk back to anyone. It was just a sign of how fed up we all were with being verbally abused by customers. I quit retail not long after that. The icing on the cake was hearing how some of my younger colleagues, not long out of high school, had to be picked up from work after their night shift because a customer made them feel too afraid to walk home.

I Can’t Believe It’s About Butter

, , , , , , | Right | May 18, 2022

I work for a multinational company that has a hand in home appliance insurance. We sell repair plans to people who need their fridge, freezer, or washing machine fixed, or people who want to insure their new TV, etc. Our call volume is through the roof at the time of the first lockdown, so we prioritise our customers who need appliances repaired for such things as storing medical equipment.

Today is a hectic day. I get a call from a rather irate but well-spoken lady. 

Customer: “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you all morning. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Can you help?!”

Me: *Bracing myself* “I’ll try my best.”

Customer: “I went to [High-End Supermarket] and purchased their spreadable butter but… and it… it just… it just won’t spread. I’ve ripped holes in all my sandwiches! Tell me, which shelf should I be putting my butter on in my fridge? Is there a specific shelf?”

It’s worth mentioning before I give you my reply that the call before this was from an elderly chap whose washing machine broke down and needed repairing as they needed bedding regularly due to a medical condition. The call before that was from an upset mother whose fridge freezer had broken down and contained her young daughter’s insulin.

This lady not only called to ask for something that could be found on Google in ten seconds, but she had to have lied on the automated options to get through to the priority line, taking the place of someone who actually needed help.

Me: “Did you really call to ask which shelf to put your butter on? I would refer back to the manufacturer of the butter for their guidance or better still, the manufacturer of your fridge freezer. Stay safe and goodbye.” *Click*

Usually, When They Shout They Have The Right, They Have The Wrong

, , , , , | Right | May 17, 2022

I’m bagging as usual when I am asked to move to a busier lane. Once there, I get surprised as a woman nearby suddenly starts yelling at one of my managers.

Customer: “How dare you? I’m your best customer and you treat me like this! I have a mask exception!” *Waves a small card around* “It’s from the department of masks!

My manager continues to try to calm her down and deescalate the situation, but even if he let her just go without a mask, she wouldn’t hear him at this point.

As she storms out of the building, she cries out this gem:

Customer: “Besides, it’s my right!”

Either she was the worst actor ever, or she had no intention to hide that she was lying about having a medical condition.