Customer Limits Put Customers At Their Limit

, , , | Right | September 28, 2020

Because of the current health crisis, stores have a customer limit so it doesn’t get too crowded. My store is very small so we’ve had a limit of two customers at once. Not gonna lie; I love it because at five people it’s so full that customers have trouble walking around.

We have two signs on the floor and three more around the store entrance. Of course, barely anyone reads the signs, but the register is right at the entrance so people usually back off and wait when I tell them. This customer does not.

He rushes into the store. I tell him there’s a two-person limit and we’ve already reached it, so he should please wait outside. He doesn’t react, so I repeat myself louder. 

He’s walking along the counter so there are maybe six feet of distance between us, so he should hear me. He keeps walking. I start shouting, “Sir!” to get his attention while I walk off from behind the counter.

I think maybe he’s hard of hearing or deaf.

I finally get in front of him, way too close, but my back is against a wall and there’s nothing I can do. He scowls at me and barks out a “What?” so I tell him about the limit. 

He scoffs, gives me the finger, and prances out of the store. He comes back about an hour later and starts making rude comments about how stupid I am and how I could have just let him get his one item. He doesn’t seem to be hard of hearing after all. 

My boss has now bought a desk bell that we aggressively ring — it echoes wonderfully in the small store — whenever someone with selective hearing decides to come in and ignore us, be it about masks or the limit. 

It hurts my ears to use it, but with the number of people that stop taking the situation seriously because it’s been so long, it’s amazing to use!

A Big Mayo No No, Part 6

, , , , , , | Right | September 27, 2020

Shops have started to open up after the quarantine, so I treat my family to their first take-away in months. The hype is unbelievable with queues at every store and traffic jams all over the city. It’s like they are giving the food away.

I stop by a walk-in sandwich shop a few days later. Inside, I see two women at the counter who both seem to be in their twenties. As I join the queue, it seems that the first is finished and the second is choosing her salad.

Woman #2: “No salad.”

Worker: “None at all?”

Woman #2: *With heaps of attitude* “Uh, no! Mayo! I want mayo on that.”

Worker: “Mayonnaise, okay.”

Woman #2: “More. More!”

The worker dutifully fills the sandwich with mayonnaise; at this point, it looks more like cake frosting. A thick layer covers nearly all of the meat and cheese. It looks disgusting and I must be staring, as the second woman glares at me.

Woman #2: “Hey, [Woman #1], you want a cookie?”

She glares at me again.

Woman #1: “Yeah, get me one.”

Woman #2: *Insincerely* “Oh, no! They only have six left! Oh, well, some people won’t be getting any at all.”

She looks at me like she has won some grand scheme.

Woman #2: “Give me allll six.”

They leave, cackling. I turn to the other worker to pay, utterly bemused.

Worker: “Did you want a cookie? I have more to put out; we didn’t have a chance yet.”

Me: “Not really, thank you. I’m not sure what that was about.”

Worker: “Oh, they come in quite regularly. The one on the left, [Woman #2], scoops the extra mayo out with the cookie and eats it like a dip!”

I got my food and left. I wish I had chosen anything other than mayo.

A Big Mayo No No, Part 5
A Big Mayo No No, Part 4
A Big Mayo No No, Part 3
A Big Mayo No No, Part 2
A Big Mayo No No

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Looking Back Helps You Realize What Matters

, , , , , | Learning | September 27, 2020



I’m an elementary school teacher. Today’s virtual assignment is to write about what you would do if you had a time machine. There’s the usual “I would go see the dinosaurs” and “I would go meet Rosa Parks” and “I would watch the moon landing.”

Then, I get stabbed in the heart.

Student: “I would go back in time and give George Floyd a real $20 bill.”

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They Need A Town Hall To Discuss The Town Hall

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2020

I work for a town government. Due to our state’s regulations regarding the health crisis, we are not able to accommodate customers in our usual Town Hall, but fortunately, the Community House next door has been turned into temporary “customer service” windows for our use.

On the doors of the Town Hall are signs explaining that the building is closed but that the Community House will be open, and explaining the opening hours. We also issue a press release explaining the new hours and location in the local paper, on community TV, and on the town’s official Facebook page, Twitter, and home page of the website.

We were closed to the public from the beginning of March to the middle of July and have only been open for about two weeks, so we understand that this is new and a learning curve for our customers who are used to going to Town Hall. We explain the new hours and location, including address, to every person who calls in wanting to come to visit in person.

Me: “[Department], can I help you?

Customer: “Yes, hi, I was wondering how to go about [process]?”

Me: “Okay, well, there are a few ways to do that. You can either do that online at [website], you can do it through the mail or through the dropbox, or we also have new hours from [days and times] at the Community House, which is located at [address].”

Customer: “Oh, you’re open? Oh, that’s great! I’ll send my husband down right away! Goodbye!”

Me: “Okay, thank you! Bye!”

About fifteen minutes go by. The phone rings.

Me: “[Department], can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my husband was just down there at Town Hall, and he said the doors were locked and there was a sign on the door saying you were closed. I thought you said you were open?”

Me: “Yes, Town Hall is closed, but I said the Community House was open. We are right next door. It’s the same building as where you vote. Tell him to go there and look for the ‘ENTER HERE’ signs on either side of the building.”

Customer: Oh, okay. I’ll let him know, thanks!”

Me: “No problem, bye!”

A couple of minutes later, I hear someone try to open the “EXIT ONLY” doors. We have been instructed not to let people in that way, but since the “ENTER HERE” doors are only fifty feet away on either side of the exit door and clearly within line of sight, I figure they will figure it out soon. The phone rings.

Me: “[Department], can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my husband was just at the Community House where you told me to send him, but the doors were locked! You said you were open!

Me: “We are. Did he try the doors with the large ‘ENTER HERE’ signs?”

Customer: “No, he went to the door that we always go in!”

Me: “Okay, but those doors are being used as exit-only doors right now. There is a big sign on those doors saying, ‘EXIT ONLY’. He needs to go to one of the side doors that say, ‘ENTER HERE’.”

Customer: “Well, you should have made it more clear!”

Me: “I’m sorry. The signs are large, about three by four feet, and have big, bold, red letters with ‘EXIT ONLY’ and ‘ENTER HERE’ written on them.”

Customer: “Still, you should make it more clear!”

Me: “I don’t know how, but I will pass on the comment.”

Customer: “And furthermore, you should have made it more clear that the Town Hall was closed and we were supposed to go to the Community House!”

Me: “I did explain that on the phone.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I saw it on the website, and you should make it more clear!”

Me: “The website says the Community House is open. It also says Town Hall is closed.”

Customer: “Yeah, but you should make it more clear!”

Me: “It also has the address on it.”

The Town Hall and Community House have very different street addresses since they face different streets.

Customer: “Still, you should make it more clear!”

Me: “The signs on the Town Hall say it’s closed and to go to the Community House.”

Customer: “You should still make it more clear!”

Me: *Sighs* “I’ll pass on the comment.”

I told my supervisor who just laughed.

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Epidemiology Versus Dermatology

, , , , , | Right | September 25, 2020

We are in a pretty well-known chocolate store in a mall just browsing around while waiting for something to be made.

A lady, around fifty, walks in and the worker behind the counter offers her hand sanitizer due to the current health situation. I notice this lady is also not wearing a mask. She then starts to complain and go off at the worker stating.

Customer: “Ah, all you people with your hand sanitizer. Don’t you know how bad this is for your skin?”

I just turn around and do the dismissive hand gesture and continue browsing.

Customer: “Well, screw you, too.”

I don’t acknowledge this and continue browsing, at which point she shouts a little louder.

Customer: “Screw you, too!”

She stormed out the shop. I am sooo sorry that a little hand sanitizer is going to be bad for your skin.

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