Sometimes Loved Ones Can Talk Real Crap

, , , , , | Romantic | September 17, 2019

(My boyfriend has to have emergency surgery to remove an abscess in his a**. As he recently moved here he doesn’t have a place of his own and is staying with me, which is handy as he does need some help to look after the wound. As he needs to shower after every time he poops and I’m the one who washes his wound, I often wait in the bathroom for him to finish. He has been feeling down with all this, so I start give him a hug while he is on the loo.)

Boyfriend: “Why don’t you find this uncomfortable or disgusting?”

Me: “You’re not pooping out of this end.”

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Her Order Was Way Out

, , , | Right | September 5, 2019

(Before payment, we always ask customers whether they want to eat here or take their food out. We have to do that due to different taxes on takeout food.) 

Customer: *orders her meal*

Me: “Would you like to eat here or take your food out?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: *repeats question*

Customer: “NO, THANKS! I just want to eat my food in a regular way.”

Me: “I’m sure you do, but would you like to sit down or have your food wrapped and bagged?”

Customer: “NOOO!” *rolling eyes* “Just the normal thing! Regular eating! Reeeeeguuuuularrr!”

Me: “So, you want to sit down?”

Customer: “Um, no. Takeout, please.”

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Unfiltered Story #161896

, | Unfiltered | September 2, 2019

I work at a game store that is situated close to a parking lot, so we get a lot of customers wanting to make change for the parking metre. A customer comes in wearing an apologetic smile, so I immediately know he just wants to make change.

Me: “Hello, Sir! Just some change, I guess?”
Customer: “How did you guess?”
Me: “Well, I-”
Customer: “Oh, it’s because I’m too well groomed to be in here, isn’t it?”
Me: *looking my well groomed self up and down, quietly give him his change and stare him out the door*

Card Payments Are Basic Human Rights, Apparently

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(The credit card system breaks down due to a server error. We hang a sign outside apologizing and explaining the situation. A couple walks in.)

Customer: “I’ll pay with a card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s not possible right now. The system broke down. Cash only.”

Customer: “But I want to pay with a card. Can’t you just let me do it?”

Me: “As I said, it’s not possible. The system is not running. I’m sorry—“

Customer: “Are you kidding me? You can’t refuse my payment, you idiot! Who’s the customer, you or me?”

Me: “I’m sorry. The system broke down. It’s just not possible. It’s not our fault. The company’s whole system has broken down.”

(The man walks away and joins the woman in the seating area. They are discussing for about ten minutes, constantly pointing at me and shaking their heads. Then I get a call by the company that they fixed the problem; the system is running again. I approach the couple.)

Me: “Excuse me. The problem was fixed. We can accept cards again.”

Customer: “Do you really think we still want to buy anything from YOU? I am a customer and you have to show me at least some basic human respect!”

(However, they stayed in the seating area for about one hour, just talking.)

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You Can Gugelhopf On By!

, , , | Working | February 27, 2019

(My mum wants to order an old-fashioned cake — a Gugelhopf — for my birthday and enquires well in advance if a local bakery would be able to make that. She specifies that she will need it on a certain Friday, as they then will set off early on Saturday morning to come to see me. The lady says she will check and get back to my mum. However, she never does and my mum assumes the bakery can’t do it. Come that Saturday, the lady rings, somewhat upset, and with an attitude.)

Bakery: “You need to come pick up the Gugelhopf!”

Mum: “Wait, what? You never confirmed you could actually make it. We never discussed what flavour I wanted, or how big the cake would be, or what it would cost. You never notified me that the cake was ready, either!”

Bakery: “Oh…”

Mum: “Also, I said I needed it on Friday; now it’s way too late. We are already a few hundreds of kilometres away from home! You can now sell that Gugelhopf in your shop.”

(The lady then had the decency to recognise her fault and apologise for her mistake. In the end, my brother baked the Gugelhopf at my house, and it was delicious.)

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