Unfiltered Story #183624

, , | Unfiltered | January 20, 2020

(My nine-year-old and I have just arrived at a fancy restaurant to have Christmas dinner with my seventy-eight-year-old mum and her eighty-year-old boyfriend. Hubby/dad is running late because he had to shave and iron his t-shirt. He usually wears a yellow/black ski coat, so we often call him “the Bee.”)

Boyfriend: *talking to my son* “So, where’s your dad?”

Son: “He’s polishing his stinger!”

(Cue inner laughing and acute embarrassment on my part…)

Sometimes Loved Ones Can Talk Real Crap

, , , , , | Romantic | September 17, 2019

(My boyfriend has to have emergency surgery to remove an abscess in his a**. As he recently moved here he doesn’t have a place of his own and is staying with me, which is handy as he does need some help to look after the wound. As he needs to shower after every time he poops and I’m the one who washes his wound, I often wait in the bathroom for him to finish. He has been feeling down with all this, so I start give him a hug while he is on the loo.)

Boyfriend: “Why don’t you find this uncomfortable or disgusting?”

Me: “You’re not pooping out of this end.”

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Her Order Was Way Out

, , , | Right | September 5, 2019

(Before payment, we always ask customers whether they want to eat here or take their food out. We have to do that due to different taxes on takeout food.) 

Customer: *orders her meal*

Me: “Would you like to eat here or take your food out?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: *repeats question*

Customer: “NO, THANKS! I just want to eat my food in a regular way.”

Me: “I’m sure you do, but would you like to sit down or have your food wrapped and bagged?”

Customer: “NOOO!” *rolling eyes* “Just the normal thing! Regular eating! Reeeeeguuuuularrr!”

Me: “So, you want to sit down?”

Customer: “Um, no. Takeout, please.”

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Unfiltered Story #161896

, | Unfiltered | September 2, 2019

I work at a game store that is situated close to a parking lot, so we get a lot of customers wanting to make change for the parking metre. A customer comes in wearing an apologetic smile, so I immediately know he just wants to make change.

Me: “Hello, Sir! Just some change, I guess?”
Customer: “How did you guess?”
Me: “Well, I-”
Customer: “Oh, it’s because I’m too well groomed to be in here, isn’t it?”
Me: *looking my well groomed self up and down, quietly give him his change and stare him out the door*

Card Payments Are Basic Human Rights, Apparently

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(The credit card system breaks down due to a server error. We hang a sign outside apologizing and explaining the situation. A couple walks in.)

Customer: “I’ll pay with a card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s not possible right now. The system broke down. Cash only.”

Customer: “But I want to pay with a card. Can’t you just let me do it?”

Me: “As I said, it’s not possible. The system is not running. I’m sorry—“

Customer: “Are you kidding me? You can’t refuse my payment, you idiot! Who’s the customer, you or me?”

Me: “I’m sorry. The system broke down. It’s just not possible. It’s not our fault. The company’s whole system has broken down.”

(The man walks away and joins the woman in the seating area. They are discussing for about ten minutes, constantly pointing at me and shaking their heads. Then I get a call by the company that they fixed the problem; the system is running again. I approach the couple.)

Me: “Excuse me. The problem was fixed. We can accept cards again.”

Customer: “Do you really think we still want to buy anything from YOU? I am a customer and you have to show me at least some basic human respect!”

(However, they stayed in the seating area for about one hour, just talking.)

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