Top Up Is Looking Down

, , , , , | Right | April 29, 2018

(Oyster is a smart-card method of payment for public transport in London. You put money on it to pay for your fare, validating it on entry and exit, which deducts the correct fare from your account.)

Me: *sees customer walk up* “Hel—”

Customer: *slams Oyster and £20 on counter* “Top up.” *answers phone*

Me: “How much?”

Customer: *chatting on phone*

Me: *waits ten seconds* “How much would you like?”

Customer: *covers phone speaker* “Hurry up! I’m going to miss my train!” *back on phone*

Me: *puts £20 on Oyster, gives Oyster back*

Customer: *snatches up Oyster* “Where’s my change?”

Me: “There is no change. You gave me £20. I put on £20.”

Customer: “Why did you put it all on? I didn’t tell you to do that. I only wanted £5. Why would I put more than £5? I don’t need more than £5! You need to give me my money back!”

Me: “Okay, give me your Oyster; I’ll adjust it.”

Customer: “No, you just need to give me my money back. I didn’t tell you to put on £20. That’s your problem. You just need to give me my money.”

(I had to get up and walk away from my till.)

Their Attitude Is Totally Bus-ted

, , , | Working | April 6, 2018

(I am catching a bus to my aunt’s house. This route is a loop, and buses go in both directions around the loop. This means that even though they are the same route, one takes 20 minutes to get to where I’m going and the other takes an hour and a half. I can’t remember which is which, as I don’t use the bus there often.)

Me: “Hello, does this bus go up [Street #1] or [Street #2]?”

Driver: “[Street #1].”

Me: “Okay, thanks.”

(I pay and take my ticket, but before I can sit down:)

Driver: *as if he had never said anything* “I go up [Street #2] and down [Street #1].”

Me: “Oh… Well… I already paid. Can I get a refund?”

Driver: “No.”

Me: “Um… Well, I don’t have any more cash for my fare on the correct bus. Can you radio them and tell them I paid?”

(This is common in my town for minor stuff like this; most bus drivers will happily help.)

Driver: *very angrily* “No! Sit down or get off; you’re holding me up!”

(Stunned at his sudden aggressive attitude, I turn around and go to get off the bus.)

Driver: *shouting after me* “Learn where you’re going!”

Me: *I have had enough at this point and have had a second to gather my thoughts, so I shout back* “Learn your f****** job!”

(I called up to complain. When I did, I told them I swore at him, for the sake of full disclosure. The woman said, “Well, I can see here that this isn’t the first incident with that driver, so that’s probably fair enough!” She apologised sincerely and arranged for the next bus to let me on for free, through the same radio system the rude driver could have used.)

Sitting For England

, , , , | Friendly | March 28, 2018

(My family and I are taking a ferry between two islands in Venice. It is now late afternoon, and we have been on our feet non-stop since eight this morning. We manage to get seats on the ferry, which ends up pretty crowded with several people standing. I notice a middle-aged group standing near us, and I have just decided to offer my seat to one of them after I’ve rested for a few more minutes, when one of them bends down and leans in front of me and my little sister to talk to the person sitting next to her.)

Woman: *loudly* “You know, if we were in England, I’m sure someone would have given up their seat by now.”

(I then decided that my butt and that seat were best friends and could not possibly be parted, and they enjoyed a close, personal relationship for the rest of that ferry ride.)

London Calling

, , , , | Hopeless | March 23, 2018

I’m from the USA and got sent to England for my annual tour for the Air Force. We all got four days to do whatever we wanted. Being the ever-adventurous type, I hopped a bus to London for four days of spending way too much money.

Eventually, I ended up buying a pass for the London tube. I had never been on a train, much less an underground one, so I ended up hopelessly lost.

While I was trying to figure out where I was and how to get to the Churchill Bunkers, I decided to go up to the street to see if someone would be willing to give me some directions, or even just a map beyond the tubes.

The stairs were crowded, and a bunch of people were walking up the steps on both sides of the rail. I happened to be looking down when I saw a full wallet fall onto the steps.

I looked up in time to see said wallet’s owner keep walking up the steps and onto the busy sidewalk.

I ducked under the rail, full backpack and all, to snag the wallet before someone else grabbed it. Then, I proceeded to sprint up the steps and onto the sidewalk. I caught sight of the owner a few feet ahead of me and managed to grab her shoulder before we were separated by the crowd.

I slapped the wallet into her hand and I ran off into the crowd to catch my travel companion.

All I heard from the woman that I probably scared half to death was, “Oh, my God! That girl saved me!”

I didn’t stick around for the whole gushy thank-yous and long conversations. I was just glad that they didn’t have to panic over a lost wallet in crowded London.

I doubt they even knew what I looked like, just that some random person slapped their wallet into their hand and took off.

I did find my way to the bunkers, and it turns out I hopped off the train right in front of Big Ben.

Giving It To Him Straight (Ahead)

, , , , | Working | February 7, 2018

(I am 18 and working night shift. I rely on a bus to get me home at 12:30 am. It isn’t so bad, as the bus I catch stops right out front of my house. There is another bus that goes in the general direction of my house, but not quite near enough, resulting in a twenty-minute walk home. It should also be noted that the second bus stops running at 7:00 pm, every night. One particular night, rather than turning onto my street, the driver tries to take the other route, resulting in a walk home in a not-too-friendly suburb at 12:40 am.)

Me: “Excuse me, but you were supposed to turn back there.”

Bus Driver: “No, I do this route all the time; it’s straight ahead.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but no. The bus you’re thinking of is [Route Number], and it stopped running at 7:00 pm. I catch this bus every night. Please, turn around.”

Bus Driver: “I don’t know…”

(The driver pulled out a map and looked at where his particular route is marked out. There were a couple of other people on the bus, none of whom spoke up for some reason. It took ten minutes of the bus driver looking at his map, and me begging him to just turn around, before a man spoke up and told the driver that I was right. He finally obliged and turned around. He also gave me the stink eye as I thanked him, after I’d reached my stop. I’m so glad I have my licence now.)

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