Another Case Of Wifitis, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I have to go out of town for a week and decided to travel by bus. I spend a few extra dollars to get a seat with a table on the lower level so that I can get some work done on the ride. An older woman sits down across from me, and for the first thirty minutes or so, we have some pleasant conversation. She asks me if I’ve ever had any trouble with this bus company before, to which I say no. She also shares some dried fruit snacks with me while we talk, which I happily accept. After the conversation comes to a natural stop, I pull out my laptop to write some emails using the bus’s onboard Wi-Fi. The Wi-Fi, however, appears to not be working.

Me: *Out loud* “Huh, that’s odd. The Wi-Fi on this bus doesn’t seem to be working.”

Woman:What?! That’s ridiculous. It’s supposed to work! What’s even the point…”

I look at her kind of blankly, surprised by the outburst. It should be noted that she doesn’t appear to have any need for Wi-Fi since all she has with her is her phone — which she hasn’t touched once — her purse, and a book that she’s been reading.

Me: “Well, it’s not a huge issue. I have other stuff I can work on that doesn’t require Wi—”

Woman: *Cutting me off* “This is outrageous. I’m going to talk to the driver.”

She gets up and walks past the line on the ground where you’re not supposed to walk and starts talking to the driver. I don’t hear much except her frustrated tone of voice. She returns, sits back down across from me, and proceeds to call customer service for [Bus Company].

Woman: “I’m on the [time] bus from [Location #1] to [Location #2], and the Wi-Fi isn’t working and the driver won’t do anything about it. This is outrageous! I paid [price] for this ticket and I expect all of the amenities to be functional.” *Slowly and quietly into the receiver* “You. Are. A. Terrible. Company.”

She hangs up, looking frustrated. I’ve been working on my laptop during this exchange, feeling rather uncomfortable, and trying to ignore her. She then returns to her book and pulls out the dried fruit again.

Woman: “Do you want a piece?”

Me: “No, thanks. I’m not hungry.”

Why this woman decided to make a big stink about a service she wasn’t even using, I will never know.

Another Case Of Wifitis

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Cane You Please Back Off?

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | February 14, 2021

Several years ago, I was on the bus, playing on my original Nintendo DS and listening to music. 

Apparently, this older man started asking me what I was playing on and I couldn’t hear him because, you know, I was listening to music. 

Since I, a stranger, wasn’t paying attention to him, he decided to hit me in the shins with his cane!

He was amazed that I wasn’t receptive to answering his questions after this.

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Should Have Czech-ed Before You Spoke

, , , | Right | February 4, 2021

Like many cities, Prague is filled with people trying to sell tourists random crap. I’m on the tram and looking on my phone when I see a man get onboard. I see him out of the corner of my eye and he holds something out, so I think he’s trying to get me to buy something. I keep looking at my phone and wave him away.

Me: “Ne, ne.”

Man: *In a booming voice* “ANO!” *Yes!*

I looked over and realized he was holding out a badge — not a trinket — that identified him as a metro ticket inspector. He death-glared at me and the entire car stared at me. I dove for my monthly pass for him to scan. The dude glared at me while he checked every other person’s pass.

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Please Drive On The Right Side Of The Century

, , , , | Right | January 21, 2021

I’m a tour guide but also drive the bus. I’m used to this surprising some of our guests, who are used to the driver and guide being two different roles. One day, I am at the ticket office doing a few jobs before my tour group arrives. A ticket office worker approaches me while talking to a couple from the US.

Ticket Office Worker: “Here she is now. This is the guide for your tour.”

Me: “Hi! I’m [My Name]. I’m your driver and guide.”

Male Customer: “Oh, no! We have a woman driver?”

Me: “Sure!”

I laugh it off thinking the gentleman is being funny, but I find he’s not really joking.

Male Customer: *Perfectly serious* “I’m a bit sexist about these things.”

I am astounded but polite, as I’m used to allowing for different cultural beliefs.

Me: “Oh, well, I’m perfectly safe, I promise.”

Then, I see one of my more, shall we say, “forthright” colleagues approaching the counter, and I can’t resist a bit of mischief.

Me: “Actually, many of our drivers here are ladies. Like [Colleague], here.”

I made myself conveniently absent.

Funnily enough, the very next day I had four men from Saudi Arabia on my tour who didn’t seem to have any problem at all with a female driver.

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Miss Frizzle’s Cousin Is A Lot Of Fun

, , , , , | Friendly | January 10, 2021

I’ve just arrived at the bus station having got off a plane at Heathrow Airport, a journey I know well and strangely enjoy. Now is the final leg before I make it home.

I arrive at the embarkation point just before the bus is due, having heard that there was a holdup on the bus route, and the previous bus has not arrived.

I talk to the glum-looking guy at the bus stop.

Me: “Come far?”

Guy: “Yeah, flew in from [Location] and I’ve been waiting an hour for this bus to come.”

Me: “Never mind. Now that I’m here, it will arrive in no time.”

And as I speak, it comes trundling into the bus station and pulls up in front of us.

Guy: *Amazed and delighted* “How did you do that?”

Me: “I’m the Magic Bus-Bringer!”

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