Wisdom Teeth Do Not Make You Wise

, , , , | Working | October 15, 2017

(I am getting my wisdom teeth taken out, but have elected to have it done with just Novocaine and nitrous oxide, laughing gas, so I am awake during the procedure. This takes place immediately after the oral surgeon has injected Novocaine into the base of one tooth and is about to pull it.)

Oral Surgeon: “Jesus f***, what is this?”

Assistant: “What’s wrong?”

Oral Surgeon: “There aren’t enough teeth!”

Assistant: “What?”

Oral Surgeon: “She’s missing teeth!”

(I was born with two less teeth than normal on my top jaw, which allowed those wisdom teeth to come in just fine.)

Me: “Yup.” *lifts up my hand and taps the area where the teeth would have been* “Missing these. Thought you knew.”

(I probably should have mentioned it at the consultation, but I would have thought that the guy who had my x-rays for a few weeks and looked in my mouth during the consultation would have noticed something that strange! On the plus side, I only had to get the bottom teeth removed!)

Allergic To Reason

, , , , , | Right | October 6, 2017

(I work at an endodontist office. Each new patient has to complete paperwork, including a “go-to” card that lists pertinent information, such as current medications and known allergies. Patients who we have not seen for six or more months have to complete a new card so we are up-to-date. A patient comes in, completes the paperwork, and is taken into her appointment. A few minutes later, the hygienist comes flying out.)

Hygienist: “Can I see her card?”

Me: “Here you go.”

(The patient comes out as well, clearly upset.)

Hygienist: “Ma’am, you didn’t notify us that you were allergic to latex.”

Patient: “Why would I? I didn’t see how it was relevant!”

Me: “You should have listed it on the card when you filled it out. See here? We have a place for allergies.”

(I point to the section, which she has left blank.)

Patient: “I thought that was for medication allergies. How was I supposed to know that you were going to have latex gloves?!”

Hygienist: “Ma’am, this is a dentist’s office.”

Patient: “So?”

Thanking You Hard

, , , , | Working | August 16, 2017

(I am very nervous about going to the dentist, and I go to a new practice to get a cavity filled. The dentist is very friendly and supportive through the whole procedure.)

Dentist: “You’re doing great!”

(I make a noise that sounds like ‘thank you’ because, of course, she’s working on filling the cavity and I can’t talk.)

Dentist: “You’re welcome! I understand what people mean when they make that noise… or maybe they’re actually saying ‘F*** you’ and I’ll never know!”

(It’s hard to laugh with a dentist drill in your mouth but I did!)

Unfiltered Story #90901

, | Unfiltered | July 15, 2017

(As a teenager I had braces that were – in some way – done incorrectly and over the course of the treatment the enamel of my teeth started to deteriorate. Since I was a quiet and shy teenager I didn’t speak out and got in a somewhat vicious cicle of dental hygiene since properly cleaning my teeth started to hurt. After a while I even stopped going to the dentist because I was so ashamed. However, in my twenties I started seeing an amazing dentist who was very empathetic and didn’t judge. Session by session we started ironing things out but for a very special procedure he transfered me to a dental surgeon. This takes place at my first appointment before she even took a look at my teeth.)

Dentist: Hello [my name]. Nice to meet you! May I ask: How old are you?

Me: Hi … uhhm … Im 24. Why?

Dentist: Yeah, I thought so. But from your x-rays I’d guessed you would be 60.

Me *embarrassed*: Yeah, I know. But I try to contain the damage now.

Dentist: You got to start cleaning your teeth better!

Me: I’m cleaning them at least twice a day now. If you take a look you’ll see I really started taking dental hygiene very serious and try to save what can be saved. But the damage has been done. Still, I really clean my teeth.

Dentist: Don’t give me that spiel. I’ve seen how many fillings you have. You do a terrible job of keeping your teeth healthy.

Me *miserable*: Yes. Im very sorry. I know.

Dentist: You know how ugly such teeth are, right? You’re 23. Probably looking for a nice girl to marry some day. But I’m gonna tell you right now: With those teeth you’ll never find a girl!

Me *on the verge of tears*: I’m really trying to take better care. [Dentist] always told me I’m really doing a good job now. I’ve didn’t have a new cavity in 2 years.

Dentist: Well, I don’t care. Your mouth is ugly. And you’re probably gonna die alone with such bad mouth hygiene. Now go make an appointment with my receptionist for next month so we can start making you look human again.

(I didn’t want to object to her but I didn’t make an appointment and even almost quit the ongoing procedure with my regular dentist. He had to talk to me for an hour until I was ready to keep going. He also said he wouldn’t transfer patients to this dental surgeon anymore.)


Unfiltered Story #90272

, | Unfiltered | June 23, 2017

I’m at the dentist, getting my teeth cleaned. The hygienist treating me is probably new, as i never seen her before and i’ve been going to the same practice for all my life. I’m very ticklish to the water jet, so sometimes i let out a sound that is half giggle, half shriek. That’s all i can conjure up with my mouth open and I can’t help it. As a result, the hygienist is almost bend over laughing.

Hygienist – *laughing* “Can you stop making that sound? It’s too funny!”

me: “Sorry, I really can’t help it. It just tickles so much!”

After that the dental assistant comes in, who I know well, and takes over to check my gums.

Assistant: *pokes my gums with a sharp hook.*

me: *shrieks*

Assistant: (stern but friendly) “Oh, you wuss! Suck it up.”

How one pretty similar sound can conjure up such different reactions…

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