I work for a big-name department store. I served an old woman with a large order.

Me: “Is this all one transaction?”

Customer: *Very rudely* “What kind of question is that? Do you see another person with me?”

At this point, I’m cringing because I know this isn’t going to be an easy transaction.

She tries to pass me her bags, but I’m not allowed to pack them, so I place all her items on the end. She starts yelling and screaming about how lazy I am, calls me the worst cashier in the world, and adds some rather personal insults.

Eventually, I look at her and say:

Me: “Look, I’m just following the rules of my job. I’m not allowed to deviate from them in any way. There’s no reason to get personal. Please, leave me alone.”

She seems pretty humiliated after that and simply responds with, “Okay,” and remains silent until the transaction was complete.

Customer: “I’m sorry for my behavior. I was in a bad mood and shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

I’m not sure if she was actually sorry or just embarrassed that I called her out, but I genuinely wish more rude customers would apologize like she did.

In my city, there used to be an annual sporting event that developed into a two-day social party at the stadium. Attendees generally went in costume; there could be prizes for best, most original, best group, etc.

There weren’t that many costume shops in the city, and rental places had a heck of a time because of the state things would be returned in. Our department store had cheaply made costumes in our party section. The general policy was that we wouldn’t take returns, refunds, or exchanges on costumes unless they were faulty and had not been worn; tried on should have been fine, except the number of people that returned “faulty” items that had been damaged because people had bought the wrong size caused problems.

Still, people would try to return costumes as “unworn” when they had clearly been through the wash (frayed edges, colour bleed) or, worse still, reeked of spilt alcohol and body odour. People would even wear them just for the first day and bring them back the morning of the second, hoping to exchange it for something new.

Mostly, our manager stood with us on not taking used costumes back, but enough people complained on social media that the head office ruled that any item could be returned if not fit for purpose within a week of purchase.

Then, they couldn’t understand why our store would take a financial hit from returns and faulty goods every February.

Back in 1987, I worked at a department store, and multiple customers came in after the holidays and had this exchange with me.

Customer: “I’d like to return this item I got as a present.”

I looked up the item.

Me: “This item was purchased on sale, so your refund will be [total].”

Customer: “What?! My [Friend/Family Member] wouldn’t buy me a gift that was on sale!”

These sales were going on since before Thanksgiving that year. Fine, ask the giver to ante up with a receipt, which they would never do.

I work in a department store. We had a regular customer; it was common for her to ring and make the staff find specific items from photos in the current catalogue. She called us the other day to have a Christmas tree and ornaments delivered.

Regular: “I would like to order [Christmas tree], and I’d also like to order all the ornaments and decorations from the promo photo in the catalogue. It has to match!”

Later, she called us again.

Regular: “I’ve put the tree and all the decorations up in my home but they’re not right! I need you to send someone to take it all down for me, and I want a full refund!”

Because she really was a regular, the store manager eventually agreed that one of our contractors would pick up the items, provided she could repackage them in suitable condition for refund. What was brought back to the store was everything thrown into the delivery boxes together, without any of the packaging.

She still phoned in catalogue orders in the following years.

In my department store, we used to stock these really tacky-looking clocks for $20 each. It was in some really weird aesthetic that I had never heard of, but it was apparently really popular to a lot of people for a while. Eventually, they stopped manufacturing them, so they were moved into the sale bin for $10 a pop over the Christmas season.

That was perfect; they sold really fast and cleared up space.

Eventually, there was only one left. A woman came in and stood there for AGES holding it, tilting it this way and that, seemingly unable to make up her mind.

Me: “Ma’am, if you’re not sure, we can hold it for you for twenty-four hours. That way, it won’t be snatched up by someone else. These have been selling really quickly; we sold six this morning.”

Customer: *Huffing* “No, I don’t think you should bother.”

Then, she put it back on the clearance table and left. Most stores put their clearance farther back, but our management had our clearance at the very front of the shop so people would buy that stuff up. Sure enough, that last clock was grabbed just a few hours later.

The woman decided to return three days later, looking for the clock. When it was explained to her that it had been sold, she threw a really high-pitched tantrum. I finally got tired of her nonsense.

Me: *Sharply* “Ma’am!”

The woman jumps a bit and quiets down.

Me: *Firmly* “Ma’am, I offered to hold it for you for a day if you thought you wanted it. I also warned you that they sold quickly. It’s three days later, and at this point, there’s nothing left to do.”

Woman: “But I thought you were joking! Why would anybody buy an ugly clock like that?!”

Me: “I don’t joke about that kind of thing. I thought you wanted it and was trying my best to help you get it before someone else did. Since you would buy it, it shouldn’t be a shock to you that others might, as well.”

Woman: “Well, you should have put it on hold for me anyway!”

Me: “You specifically told me not to, and it only would have been on hold for a day. You waited way too long for it to stay on hold.”

Woman: *After spluttering wordlessly for a few seconds* “YOU HAVE RUINED MY CHRISTMAS!”

She stormed out. Oh, my goodness, I laughed so hard I got a stitch in my side!