I work as a sales associate in the women’s clothing section of a department store.

A women came in holding a tote bag that we sell.

Woman: “Someone gave me this as a gift and I want to give her something of similar value. Could you tell me how this costs?”

As a joke, I replied: Four hundred and fifty dollars.”

The blood ran out of her face.

Woman: “What!”

Me: “Just kidding. That bag costs twenty-nine dollars.”

She started screaming at me, saying I should not have “tricked” her.

My mom and I walk into a popular department store in an outlet. We’re shopping for my dad and my mom spots a really nice sweater within seconds of walking in. The sweater is originally $79.95 but it’s 70% off at the moment. My mom remembers that we had 2 coupons for this store, an 10% off and a $20 off. To my surprise, the cashier tells us we can use both.

Cashier: Okay, your total today will be $11.45.
Mom: What? Did you apply all the discounts?
Cashier: Yes ma’am, plus the coupons.
Mom: The total should be way less than that.
Cashier: Let me check..Oh yes, you’re correct!
*a few seconds of rescanning*
Cashier: Your new total is $3.75.
Me: WHAT?
My mom has a smug look on her face.

When I am a teenager, my grandmother takes me out shoe shopping at a department store. We have been browsing around, seeing if anything catches our eye at a few stores in the mall.

One of the sales ladies greets us as soon as we walked in. That’s not at all unusual. What is unusual is her persistence. 

Sales Lady: “Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Grandmother: “No, thank you. We’re just looking.”

Not a full minute later…

Sales Lady: “Is there something in particular I can help you find today?”

Grandmother: *Much more firmly* “No, thank you. We’re fine.”

Only a few minutes later, when Grandma picks up a shoe to show it to me…

Sales Lady: “Is there a size I can get that in for you to try on?”

Grandmother: *Very curt now* “Honey, I will let you know if we need any help.”

I know my grandma very well, and by her tone, I know that this lady has pushed her much, much further than is wise. For reference, my grandma is one of those little old southern ladies who you never want to get on the wrong side of at the church potluck, you know? I know a “bless your heart” is coming and when it does, d***.

We eventually find a shoe I like.

Grandma: “Want to try this one on?”

Sales Lady: *Appearing instantly* “What size can I get for you?”

Grandma: “Actually, is there someone else here who can help us?”

Sales Lady: *Shocked* “Well, yes, but can I ask why I can’t help you today?”

Grandma: *With a loving smile and a honey-sweet voice* “I’m so sorry, sugar, but I just can’t buy shoes from someone wearing the ugliest pair I’ve ever seen.”

Needless to say, the lady’s coworker helped us with the purchase, and I went home with a new pair of boots and another reason to add to the list of why you don’t push Grandma too far.

I work at a family-run department store in a mid-sized city. We take layaways and orders from our loyal customer base. In mid-October, the owners — a lovely couple — hired a new manager that we grew to dislike fairly quickly because he always takes shortcuts.

It’s a couple of weeks before Christmas and the owners have been out of town for a week due to a family emergency. I’m helping a gentleman to try and find his order and have had no luck.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t find it here in the system. Is it at all possible that you put it under a different name?”

Customer #1: “No, I’m sure that I put it down under my name. I paid a lot of money for this gift.”

Me: “Let me call my manager and see if he can find it.”

I call up the manager.

Manager: “It must not have been ordered. [Coworker #1] is in charge of putting in our orders; I’ll deal with her.”

After the customer leaves, I ask the manager about this.

Me: “I didn’t know that [Coworker #1] had the authority to use the ordering system.”

Manager: “Oh, she doesn’t; I just told him that so he’d leave. Don’t mention it to her, okay? What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

I’m shocked at first and resolve to tell the coworker about it the next day. Before I can find her, the returning owners call me, her, and about three other employees into the office.

Owner: “I’m very disappointed in you all. I’ve had lots of calls from our customers while we were away, all complaining about you all not doing your jobs. You guys know that as soon as you take the order, you have to put it on the system for [Manager] to order the item up.”

Coworker #1: “I did log it in after they made the payment! [Manager] told me that [Coworker #3] didn’t put in the order.”

Coworker #2: “He told me that it was [My Name]’s job to put in the order.”

Me: “He told me that he just forgot and to blame [Coworker #1].”

We told the owner everything the manager had been telling us and he seemed shocked. He told us to go back to our stations in the store and called up [Manager]. From what we heard from the owner’s wife later, the manager had been taking the payments for himself and just blaming the rest of us. Police were called and the court case is currently pending.

I’m running the self-checkout at a well-known department store. A customer I recognize as a regular is on her way to a self-checkout machine when she decides to make small-talk with me.

Customer: “Happy Mother’s Day!”

This is actually a subject that’s sensitive to me for personal reasons, plus this actually takes place on the day after Mother’s Day, so I just uncomfortably laugh.

Customer: “Are you a mom yet?”

Me: “Uh, no, I’m not a mom.”

Customer: “Are you a furry mom?”

I think for sure I must have misheard her. Laughing a little bit, I ask her to clarify.

Me: “Uh, a what?”

Customer: “A furry mom! A mom of pets!”

I break into hysterical laughter. I answer in between laughs.

Me: “No, I don’t have any pets. Um… you do know what a furry is, don’t you?”

Yes, she did know, and apparently, she only realized how bad what she said sounded after she had already said it. Well, hey, while she didn’t intend it, she managed to make me laugh after starting out with something that otherwise would have made me sad. So thank you!