(I’m the customer in this scenario. I’m around 16, shopping in an alternative-clothing store. The staff are all people with various tattoos, piercings, and dyed hair. The cashier is clearly gay, is wearing all black, and has a nose piercing. My hair is short, and I’m wearing a band shirt, skinny jeans, and combat boots.)

Cashier: “Would you like to sign up with our rewards program? You get coupons and all kinds of deals year-round.”

Me: “Sure, why not?”

Cashier: “Okay, can I have your email?”

(Note, my last name is my email.)

Me: *tells him my email*

Cashier: *looking very scared all of a sudden and stepping away from the register* “N-nazi?”

(The last four letters of my last name are N-A-Z-I.)

Me: *realizing he thinks I’m a white supremacist* “Oh, no, I’m Jewish and that’s my last name.”

Cashier: “Oh!” *starts chuckling nervously*

Me: *laughing* “And if it wasn’t, I probably wouldn’t be shopping here!”

Cashier: “Oh, yeah, fair point!”

(I am standing two customers at a posh department store.)

Customer #1: *a rather pretty, larger young woman* “Do you have any liquid foundation to help cover my blemishes? I’m going on a date.”

Sales Lady: “Of course. Let me show you our range.”

([Customer #2] is impatiently waiting to be served, standing behind [Customer #1]. She mutters loud enough for everyone to hear.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, it’s called sandpaper. No one could cover that much ugly. Who’d want to date a fat someone like that?”

Customer #1: *turns around and glares at the woman, who just looks smug* “Fat is better than being vindictive, nasty, vain, and jealous.”

Customer #2: *turns red in the face* “How dare an ugly b**** talk to me like that? People like you don’t belong in places like this; go home and eat another hamburger!”

(Being larger myself, I get very angry when others are judged on their looks, so I speak up.)

Me: “Hey, lady. A pretty face can’t hide how ugly and nasty you are inside. It’s basic human decency to treat others with respect; if you can’t do that, then you’re the ugliest person on Earth.”

([Customer #1] and I high-five.)

Customer #2: “I see ugly and fat b****es stick up for each other.” *glares at the sales lady* “What are you going to do about this?”

Sales Lady: “I support human decency, ma’am.”

Customer #2: “Well, I’m not going to shop in a place that serves that kind of person and has rude staff.”

(She threw her items — a bottle of liquid foundation and a bottle of perfume — on the floor, where they smashed open, making a mess. Then she headed toward the department store exit. The sales lady quickly called security and stopped the woman, telling her she had to pay for the items she destroyed. As she was dragged off by security, we could hear her yelling throughout the store about the fat, ugly people, and how it was their fault.)

(My friend & I are wandering through the department store where she works when we hear yelling. As we keep walking toward the entrance/exit where the yelling is coming from 2 plain clothed security guards come sprinting past. As we reach where the commotion is a woman is yelling at security and staff. She tries to wriggle free and ends up on the floor kicking at everyone. Apparently she known to the stores in the area for shoplifting. Curiosity got the better of us and my friend and I duck into the swimwear section to watch what happens)

Guard 1: “Damn it, settle down *woman*, turn around NOW”

Lady: “GET THE F**K OFF ME I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING YOU ASSHOLES”

Guard 2: “Like hell. Our cameras picked up you taking (pulls shirts from her bag) these shirts and a sales assistant saw you put that make-up in your bag”

Lady: “BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT!!! GET AWAY FROM ME! I have cancer, I have cancer GET OFF ME”

Store Manager: “Well, I’m sorry if that is true but you should know better. Now you’re not going anywhere *name* The police are on their way. You’re in deep crap this time *woman*”

(The lady became very quiet and started crying. That’s when we left. My friend told me that this woman had been caught at almost every shop in the area stealing stuff and had been pretty much banned from almost all of them. She did end up with some jail time)

(I work in customer service. A woman approaches with two pairs of packaged kids’ underwear to return. She hands me the receipt and I scan both items.)

Me: “A total of $18.90 will go back on your card.”

Customer: *stares at screen where it says each item rings up at $9.45 for a return value* “They were buy one, get one half off. That’s not what I paid for them.”

Me: “On the original receipt it says you paid $12.60 for one and $6.30 for the other. The return value would be $9.45 if you returned one, but since you are returning both you get the full value back.”

Customer: “No, I paid more for them.”

Me: *again, I point to her receipt* “You are getting the full amount back.”

Customer: “No, I paid $12.60 and $6.30 for them, not $9.45.”

Me: “Ma’am, that is for each item. If you add the two $9.45, you are still getting $18.90 back.”

Customer: “Why aren’t you giving back my full amount?”

Me: “You are getting back the full amount.”

(I type both of the two transactions into the calculator to show her they come up the same.)

Me: “See? You paid $18.90 and are getting that amount back.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand. You aren’t giving me the right amount back.”

(At this point, I’m frustrated and there is no other way to tell her that those two totals are the same. I stand behind the counter and don’t say anything. She proceeds to stand in silence, staring at the numbers, for an entire minute.)

Customer: “Fine. I don’t understand why you are not giving me back my full amount. I never get my money back.” *she turns around muttering and leaves without her receipt*

Me: *smiles* “Have a nice night.”

(I really hope she spent her evening trying to learn simple addition.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 33
Refunder Blunder, Part 32
Refunder Blunder, Part 31

(A year ago, I had a substantial number of my employees selling some multi-level marketing item. Things were getting ridiculous, with employees hassling their coworkers, catalogues covering the break room, purchased items brought in for pick-up and left in lockers. Finally, I set a hard rule that no one was allowed to sell anything on company property. Period. One employee, who sold diet shakes and vitamins, had major issue with this, protesting to corporate, but my rule was upheld. I know he held a grudge for it. One day, he approaches me.)

Employee #1: “So, the no-selling thing is only for some of us, then?”

Me: “It’s a store-wide rule. No one is allowed to sell anything on company property. Why? Who is breaking it?”

Employee #1: “[Employee #2] is! Back in the break room! Girl Scout cookies!”

Me: “All right; I’ll head there.”

([Employee #2] is sitting there, eating her lunch and scrolling through her phone. I don’t see any order forms or boxes, so I’m a bit confused.)

Me: “[Employee #2], are you selling Girl Scout cookies?”

Employee #2: “No… I mean, my granddaughter is, but…”

Me: “But have you tried to sell any to another coworker?”

Employee #2: “I thought that wasn’t allowed?”

Me: “It’s not. Thank you. I’ll let you get back to your lunch.”

(I pull [Employee #1] to my office.)

Me: “Okay, I need you to tell me exactly what happened.”

Employee #1: “I’m minding my own business at break and [Employee #2] asks if I want to see her granddaughter. She shows me a picture and the kid is wearing a Girl Scout uniform.”

Me: “Did she ask you to buy cookies, or attempt to take money?”

Employee #1: “No! But why would she let me know she had a granddaughter in Girl Scouts unless she was subliminally trying to sell me cookies?”

Me: “Girl Scouts aren’t Psych Ops. No one was doing subliminal sales. Please go reset zone two.”

(Since then, he has been telling people I’m unfair and unequal with my rule!)