(My coworker tells me this story almost immediately after it happened to her. A young boy comes up to her, silently sticking out his hand for her to shake. Bemused, she lets him take her hand and shake it. He stares wordlessly at her for several seconds while doing so, and then runs his tongue up her arm. His mother comes running up, mortified and apologizing.)

Mother: “I’m so sorry; he just saw The Boxtrolls in the theater.”

(My coworker hadn’t seen the movie, so after I got over my bout of shocked laughter, I confirmed that yes, the boy had been imitating the main character a little TOO closely.)

(An older woman, probably in her late 70’s or 80’s comes up to me while i’m working in the shoe section of the department store. It’s been very busy and there are 2-3 other customers that i’m in the middle of helping.)

Woman: “Hi there i was wondering if you could help me. I Don’t have a computer and i was looking for [specific brand of shoes].”

Me: “Yes of course we have a decent selection of that brand right here”

(I direct her to the shoes and finish up with the other customers.)

Woman: “I didn’t see the style that I wanted. I don’t have a Computer but i know you have them. I need [Specific style of the brand]”

(These shoes look like they are at least 15 years old. They are almost falling apart and i’m not sure if any manufacturer even makes them any more. Just by looking at them.)

Me: *Polite smile* “Well let me check on my computer and see if we cant find them for you.

(I check the computer which tells us every style this brand makes and how many of what we have in every store in the country.)

Me: “I’m sorry it doesn’t look like we have that style. However, We do have a wide selection of other styles from that brand here” *I show her the computer*

Woman: Can I take a look at them?

Me: Of course

(I go into the back and grab every style of [shoe brand] that we have, and even grab a couple of shoes that look either very similar to the ones she is wearing, or look/work nearly exactly the same, from a different brand.)

Me: “Here are all the [Shoe Brand] that we currently have in stock that are in your size. Also, I know they are not [shoe brand] But i found some other shoes that should be a lot like the ones you are wearing now. The only difference is that they are not [shoe brand] But on the bright side they are less expensive.”

Woman: “OH no no.. I have to have [shoe brand] I can’t wear those.”

(time passes and she has tried on every shoe.)

Woman: “I just don’t like these they don’t fit right, feel too loose, etc etc. I really need something that doesn’t feel like it will fall off my foot these are far too low. Are you sure you don’t have the ones i’m wearing?”

Me: *Types [shoe brand] into the search again* “Unfortunately it doesn’t seem that we carry those any longer.”

Woman: “Well I know you have them.”

Me: “I assure you ma’am we do not. I just checked the back and we do not carry them.”

Woman: “But i bought them here.”

Me: “I understand ma’am, but our stocks change quite often. It’s rare that we have any specific item of clothing for more then a few months.”

Woman: “Well can you check again?”

(I check the back once more, and pull up the seach result on the computer for her.)

Me: “See? I’m sorry that we don’t have the item you are looking for”

Woman: “But what about those?” *points to a pair of shoes on the screen* “Do you have those?”

Me: “Yes we do ma’am. You are wearing those right now actually.”

Woman: “Oh… well they look different in the picture. I still don’t like them. Are you sure you don’t have the [specific shoe brand style] ?”

Me: “Yes ma’am i’m very sure. It seems that we, unfortunately, don’t carry that style any longer.”

Woman: “Oh ok I understand”

(This woman walks away FINALLY and walks 15 feet over to one of my coworkers.)

Woman: “Do you have [same specific style of shoe brand]? “

(I am driving home from work when my wife calls me, tells me we are out of feminine products, and asks for me to get some for her. I am almost home and there aren’t that many options, but I see that a store I haven’t been to before is right up ahead, and in a convenient location. I enter the store and find the products, as well as a few other things we need, then go to the checkout. The cashier is an older gentleman, and he seems rather nice as he rings up my items. That is, until he gets to the feminine products at the back. Note that I’m relatively young and look younger.)

Cashier: “I can’t sell you these.”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “You’re male. I can’t sell these to you; you might be trying to steal something.”

Me: “Okay, first of all, how would that even work? Second of all, these—”

Cashier: “I don’t know. For all I know, you’re trying to steal something. Besides, why would you even want these?”

Me: “They’re not—”

Cashier: “Unless you’re one of them [transphobic slur]s.” *squints at me suspiciously*

Me: “No, I’m just—”

Cashier: “Then why do you need them?”

Me: “Because—”

Cashier: “No. You don’t need them. Now put them back.”

Me: “THEY’RE NOT FOR ME! They’re for my wife!”

Cashier: *grunts* “Well, why didn’t you say that?”

(He begrudgingly rang me up, then proceeded to take as long as possible to bag my things. I ended up getting home well after the time my wife was expecting me. I never went to that store again.)

(We have an outage that affects the registers in about a quarter of the store. We quickly make signs pointing customers to the closest working registers and instruct our employees to tell customers the same. I get a lot of complaints about the inconvenience, but this one takes the cake.)

Customer: “Excuse me, are you the manager? I have a complaint!”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanted to buy shoes, but they said they couldn’t ring me up there. They said I had to go to—” *drops his voice to a barely-audible whisper* “—women’s lingerie.”

Me: “Yes, I’m afraid a number of our registers are out and we have to direct people to the next closest register.”

Customer: “Yes, but why women’s lingerie?” *he’s using the same, incredibly soft whisper*

Me: “It’s the closest register to the shoe department.”

Customer: *looking flustered* “But, I can’t be seen buying something in women’s lingerie. What would people think?”

Me: “Well, you’d be buying men’s shoes, and I think all the customers know that there’s an outage…”

Customer: “But they might think I’m buying women’s lingerie!”

Me: “Or… you can use any other working register. There’s one in the men’s sportswear section that’s working.”

Customer: “Oh… oh, that will work. Thank you.”

(He walked away. I turned to an employee who had been close enough to hear and whispered, “Women’s lingerie!” and they just started giggling.)

(I work in the ladies’ shoe department in the local mall. A woman approaches me asking for a specific brand of sandals which we carry in three colors: white, brown, and black, or as the manufacturer calls them, pearl, nubuck, and licorice.)

Customer: “Can I get [sandal] in black?”

Me: “Of course, ma’am! Can I get—”

Customer: “You know, I was at [Location in the next town over] and they said they had them in black, but they looked gray to me, you know?”

Me: “Oh, wow. Well, we don’t even carry them in gray at this location. Can I get your size?”

Customer: “Eight.”

(I go and bring back the shoe in black. She seems delighted with them and I give her space so she can make up her mind, and so I can attend to my other customers. Later, she flags me down.)

Customer: “I just noticed that you brought me the wrong color.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. Did you want them in white or brown?”

Customer: *holding the black shoes* “No, I wanted them in black.”

Me: *not sure what to say* “Umm…”

Customer: “Look, the box says, ‘licorice,’ not, ‘black.’”

Me: “Ma’am, licorice is just another name for black.”

(We go back and forth about this a couple of times until she finally explains.)

Customer: “I’m pretty sure that black is darker than this and less shiny.”

Me: *knowing that this particular style does not come with a matte finish* “Oh, okay, ma’am.”

Customer: “I really do like these shoes; I just wish you had them in black. If I can find them in black somewhere else, can I return them?”

Me: *explains return policy*

(After she makes her purchase and leaves:)

Coworker: “Did that really… just happen?”

Me: *sighs*