(I am about 16 or 17 working at a low end department store in the lingerie department. I am also tiny, 5’0″ – 110 lbs, and look much younger than my age. A man who looks to be in his 50s or 60s comes in and starts browsing while creepily staring at me. I can feel him staring and notice that he has undone the top few buttons of his shirt. As I am trying to figure out what to do he grabs something off the rack and approaches me holding up a tiny, yellow lace negligee.)

Customer: “Excuse me, you are about the same size as my wife and I was wondering if you could try this on for me so I can see how it’ll look like on my wife.”

Me: “Uh, NO!”

(Cue security escorting him out.)

I have severe panic attacks, but am trying to learn to cope with them and to do some small things by myself. Stores trigger them badly, so I normally stay with my parents, but decide to try and see if I can manage a very quick stop by myself. I leave my parents in the car and go into the store, intending to simply cross the store, grab the item I need, pay, and go back to the car.

I get across the store and get the item I need but as I’m waiting to pay, I can feel an attack coming on. I manage to pay quickly and ask where the bathroom is. As soon as the assistant tells me, I hightail it to the bathroom and lock myself in one of the stalls, just before the attack hits fully. It’s the first time I’ve had an attack in a public place when I’ve been alone, so the panic part is even worse than normal, and I can’t do much except sit on the toilet and rock back and forth, crying.

Eventually, I manage to think that I should contact someone, but there’s no-one I can think of to contact, since I rarely feel able to talk to anyone about it. Then I remember my best friend has Skype, so I send him a message asking for help. He proceeds to talk me through the early stages of the attack, before bombarding me with a plethora of images of sloths (my favourite animal) to distract me until finally, the attack wears off and I manage to get home safely.

It’s terrifying having a panic attack, worse knowing you can’t talk to most people you know, but if you have one best friend who’s like a brother to you and will drop everything to Google sloth pictures when he should be working? You’re blessed.

Me: “Thank you for calling, [Store] in [City]. This is [My Name]. How can I deliver greatness for you today?”

Customer: “They really make you say all that?”

Me: “Yes, every time.”

Customer: “God-d***, that’s a mouth full. Can you transfer me to the men’s department and let them know I don’t need a speech with it.”

Me: “Certainly, sir, just give me a moment.”

(My daughter’s first job is at a nearby department store. Many of the locations have been closing around the country. But one would think someone applying for a job would have more sense than this.)

Daughter: *working at the front counter* “Hello, can I help you find something today?”

Man: *who has just come in* “Nah, I have an interview.”

Daughter: “Is it with [Manager]? I’ll call her up.”

Man: “I don’t know. I got an email saying I had an interview. Frankly, I was surprised. I didn’t know any of these stores were still open. I hear they’re closing all over. I’m really surprised this one hasn’t. Does anyone even shop here anymore?”

Manager: *having heard most of what the man said* “Hello, would you like to step back here for the interview?”

Man: “Sure, but is it even worth it? Is this store going to close soon? Does anyone ever shop here?”

(Daughter tells me she never saw the guy again. He must not have gotten the job.)

(I’m the customer in this story. I had purchased a treadmill on sale about a year ago. The original price of the treadmill was $1200.00, and I paid $600.00. Alas, it never works properly. I have one repairman after another visit the house, but even after 5 visits, it still doesn’t work. I finally get fed up and call the company to ask for a refund. After a lot of frustrating back-and-forth with various store employees, I finally ask to speak to a manager.)

Manager: “We can’t offer a refund, but we can give you a store credit.”

Me: “That would be fine.”

Manager: *surprised* “Really? Most people get upset and demand a cash refund.

Me: “Well, actually, I was hoping that I could apply the store credit to a different department. There’s a really nice dishwasher that I have my eye on.”

Manager: “We can do that, certainly. But I’m afraid we can only offer store credit on the sale price you paid: $600.00.”

Me: “Um, that’s what I was expecting, actually.”

Manager: “Really? Most people think we should refund the original price of the item, not the sale price.”

Me: “But… that would mean that I made money off the deal, instead of getting a refund for what I paid. How does that make sense?”

Manager: *sighing* “I was hoping you could tell ME. I’ve had that argument many, many times.”

(I got my store credit, and I duly bought the dishwasher. It’s easily the best dishwasher I’ve ever owned, so thanks, Manager!)