[A middle aged woman walks up to the service desk counter with 4 kids. Two in the cart, and two by her side. One of them proceeds to sit on my counter.]

Woman: Do you know if [store] online coupons expire?

Me: I’m not quite sure.. [I turn to my coworker, I don’t personally use the online couponing service for a number of reasons, but my coworker does] Do you know if they do?

Coworker: Depending on the kind, they do expire within a month.

Woman: Oh. Well it was for 3 dollars. Can you just give me the 3 dollars?

Coworker: Sorry, we cannot. Since the online couponing service is a separate entity from the store, you’d have to contact them, and they can sort it for you. We’re not allowed to at store level.

Woman: But it’s ONLY 3 dollars.

Coworker: I’m sorry. There’s nothing we can do. [I write her the number on a post-it]

Woman: Fine. And also, I hate shopping here. Everyone is so rude. I just went through the fashions department looking for a pair of shoes for my daughter. She needs them for cheerleading. They have a hole in them! It’s unacceptable. I asked this girl working back there if she could discount a pair of clearance shoes for 15 to 20% off. She said she can’t. She called over another woman and they refused to help me when I asked to speak to a manager! At MY store in [town just a few miles north] they ALWAYS discount things for me. I’m a single mother with 12.. I mean 4 kids! I’m poor and my a****le of an ex-husband refuses to pay me child support! I spend THOUSANDS of dollars here weekly and MILLIONS monthly! I used to work for [my store’s name] for 6 years and I worked with [she listed a few names]!

Coworker: I’ve never heard of any of those people.. I will speak with a manager about what happened for you.

Woman: Good. I want corporate’s number as well. [I give her it and she leaves]

Coworker: Maybe she shouldn’t be having kids then.

[later, I spoke with my coworkers from fashion’s who dealt with this woman, to see what really happened]

Younger coworker: Yeah, I called over [older coworker] for help because she seemed like she was going to blow up in my face when I explained that I didn’t have the authority to approve that.

Older Coworker: She never demanded a manager either. I suggested that she speak with the service desk since we really can’t do anything.

(Our store has a credit card, and you get a coupon when you open one with us. It works on anything, but only for one day. A lady comes up to me with UGGs — almost always excluded from coupons — and this happens:)

Customer: “I’d like to buy these with my coupon, but if I need to return them, how can I get my coupon back?”

Me: “Well, none of the coupons we have available today work on UGGs, but if you’re referring to our rewards discounts, those are treated like cash for your card and would be refunded.”

Customer: “No, I have a coupon; it’ll work on anything, even makeup!”

Me: “I mean, if you show me your coupon I can try, but no promises.”

Customer: “It’ll work. I got it for opening up an account and never used it.”

(Sure enough, it is the old coupon for opening the account, so I give in and try.)

Me: “Okay, since this is for opening an account, it should work; I’ll try it and see.”

Customer: “It does work; I used it on another pair of UGGs before.”

Me: *pause* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: *catching her slip up* “Oh! I mean they sent me two… but, uh, if I return these, how will I get my discount back?

Me: “I can make a note on the receipt that if that’s the case that you’re to get the discount for that day, instead, since this is all you’re buying today, but I’ll still have to mark the coupon for use.”

Customer: “What? I don’t want them then, if you’re going to mark the coupon.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “No one’s ever marked it before.”

Me: *I stare at her as she now admits to using it before* “Well, they’re supposed to.”

Customer: “But they don’t, so you are?”

Me: “Well, yeah. I have to.”

Customer: *in a huff, grabbing the coupon from my hands* “Then I’m just going to come in another day!”

(Of course, the next day, when I wasn’t working, the shoes were sold.)

(I work at a well-known retail chain as a cashier. We’re doing a temporary fundraiser for diabetes research and have to ask each customer if they’d like to donate some money towards the cause. My father has diabetes.)

Me: “Hello! Would you like to donate to help diabetes research today?”

Customer: “No, sweetie. I believe that if you just don’t eat white flour or sugar, the whole diabetes thing disappears!”

Me: *stares at her in disbelief for a few seconds* “Would you like a bag?”

(She needs to either get her head out of the organic movement or do some research on diabetes. It can’t merely be fixed by eating differently, ma’am!)

Related:
What A Diabeetus, Part 5
What A Diabeetus, Part 4
What A Diabeetus, Part 3

(I am a teenager, working in a department store. One day I am on the shop floor with my mum, who has come to meet me on my lunch break. Due to a combination of the hot weather and having skipped breakfast, out of nowhere, I faint. My mum puts me in the recovery position and some of my colleagues start to come over to see if I’m okay. Amidst the commotion, a customer comes over, sees my uniform and bends over to where I am LYING ON THE FLOOR.)

Customer: “Excuse me. What time do you close today?”

Me: *too woozy and shocked to think of another response* “4:30.”

(The customer walked off without even a thank-you.)

(I am a cashier. Today is Wednesday. I have just finished ringing up an order for a customer when she asks me:)

Customer #1: “Why didn’t the $5-off-$50 work with using my online coupons?”

Me: “I’m sorry; was that going today?”

Customer #1: *snippily* “Yes!”

(As I’m searching through her redeemed/clipped coupons trying to find out if she clipped it, the customer next to her turns to her and said:)

Customer #2: “That doesn’t start until Friday.”

Customer #1: “Why did it send me an email now, then?!”

Customer #2: “Probably, to let us know what’s going on this weekend.”

Customer #1: “That’s ridiculous. They should send an email the day of!”

(Thursday, I am working the customer service desk when I get a phone call from a customer.)

Me: “Hi, [Store] service desk. How may I help you?”

Customer #3: “Hi, I spent a really long time in the checkout lanes today trying to redeem that $5-off-$50 with my online coupons.”

Me: “I’m sorry! That coupon doesn’t start until Friday.”

Customer #3: “Why didn’t the cashier tell me, then?!”

Me: *super politely* “I’m sorry, but even I didn’t know that that started on Friday until yesterday.”

Customer #3: “We have memos about that! Do you guys not have memos that let you know what’s going on?!”

Me: “We do not.”

Customer #3: “That is absolutely ridiculous. It’s no big deal, then.” *hangs up*

Me: *turns to coworker and explains what happened* “She’s not wrong in saying we need memos. I hate coming to work and not knowing anything about what’s on sale or what our online couponing service is having as a special, until later in the week, after we’ve already had tons of issues with it.”