(I am a reporter for a small newspaper, and we often cover local events, and pictures from these events, frequently with kids doing cute things, are put in the paper. One summer day, I was in a rural neighbourhood, taking pictures of a games event put on by the neighbourhood. I spot a cute moment with a little girl, so I take a few pictures and talk to the male adult with the girl to get his permission to use her name for the caption. In the next issue, we have the picture of the girl on the front page. A week later, I get a call from a woman.)

Caller, speaking in a somewhat self-righteous way: “Hi, this is (Name) and you took a picture of my daughter, (Name) during the event we had on. It was recently on the front page of your paper. We made sure to get copies and distribute them to everyone we know, but you really need to know what you just did. You just took a picture of a little girl, with her name, age and neighbourhood.”
Me: “Yes, I did …”
Caller: “You put a child on the front page of the paper with her name, age and where she lives. You need to be careful with these things!”
Me: “Well, whenever we take a picture, we need to say who is in the picture, and where the picture was taken. I’m sorry you weren’t OK with me taking her picture. I talked to the other adult she was with, and he said it was OK.”
Caller: “Yes, that was her uncle. But you really need to understand what you just did! We were fine with it, but you need to be careful!”
Me: “Okay … I’m sorry about that.”

(I have taken dozens of pictures of kids and they have appeared in the paper, and I have not received one complaint from anyone about it! Usually, parents are so thrilled that their kids are in the paper that they save copies and sometimes even come into the office to get a copy of the paper. It was so strange that the lady was mad that I included all the necessary information, but was still so excited that her daughter was in the paper that she gave copies to many people.)

(An older man beside me at the superstore is looking at packages of boot tractions — those things that attach to the bottom of boots so you don’t slip on snow and ice — scowling at them, and then shoving them back. I decide to try and be helpful.)

Me: “What size are you looking for?”

Customer: “Medium.”

Me: “Oh, they come in small/medium and large/extra-large.”

Customer: “My wife said to get a medium.”

Me: *reading the package info* “Well, it says here that the small/medium fits women’s size five to nine. What size does your wife wear?”

Customer: “It’s for her boots. She said to get medium.”

Me: “It doesn’t look like it comes in a medium.”

Customer: “She said to get medium.”

Me: “Okay, good luck, then.”

(I am selling my entry-level DSLR on eBay. Only twenty years old and pretty new to the whole camera world, I don’t notice some dust on the sensor and a few worn spots on the camera body itself, so I don’t include them in the listing. My bad, obviously. When the seller points that out, I agree to accept the camera back and issue a refund. The following conversation takes place over email.)

Me: “Once you return the camera to me, I will refund you the original price — camera + shipping — so [total]. I am sorry it did not work out for you.”

Buyer: “I paid you in advance in good faith for an item that did not arrive in the way that it should — i.e., as listed, and clean. Because of this, I have to return it to you, and go back on eBay and find another camera to bid on. You wrote in your last message, ‘Once you return the camera to me, I will refund you.’ That doesn’t make any sense. I had to trust you when I gave you [total] on winning the auction, and I did, and you were honest and sent the camera. As a matter of simple courtesy, I think is entirely reasonable for me to expect reciprocity in trust, which is to say, to have you refund me before I put it in the mail.”

Me: “As for refunds, standard business practice is to refund your money once I have received the camera back from you. Thank you.”

(The buyer is very argumentative — the whole conversation involves long, drawn-out messages like that — and we go back and forth quite a bit before he agrees to finally send my camera back to me. After I receive the camera back and I think the whole thing is all over, I get this gem:)

Buyer: “I hope that you nor any of the women in your family are able to bear children and bring any more people like you into this world.”

(I reported the conversation to eBay. Not sure if anything was done about it, but I’m pretty sure I could hear the woman on the other end softly chuckling when she read the whole transcript. I mean, seriously?! Who thinks they get a refund BEFORE sending back the item they want to return?)

(I work at a bakery and coffee shop in my hometown. It is one of about five locations in the city. Our bakery specializes in freshly made cookies and various cakes and bars, along with a pretty good selection of coffee flavours and espresso machine drinks. One afternoon, I’m working at the store with my shift partner when a lady comes up to order a latte. I go on to ask about the type of milk she wants and if she wants a flavour shot or cinnamon or chocolate powder on the top. The conversation that follows is a head-scratcher.)

Me: “Okay, so, a medium latte with 2% milk and no toppings.” 

Customer: “Ooh, I have to ask. Are your beans fresh?”

Me: “The beans come in a vacuum-sealed bag, and the machine is filled from the bottom up every day to ensure the beans never sit in the machine for too long.”

(The machine dispenses beans from the bottom so the beans are never old as we add new beans to the top unless the machine has been idle for a few days, at which point we toss the beans and wash the container out before refilling it with fresh beans.)

Customer: “No, no, I mean when were the beans made? Are they fresh, as in picked recently? I only want the freshest beans!” 

(At this point, I’m slightly confused and show the lady the bag of beans we use, pointing out the “best before” date, which is something like eight months from now, and the packaged date, which is a couple of weeks ago, which is pretty good considering the beans are picked in COLUMBIA and packaged in some small town in ITALY and then shipped to CANADA.) 

Customer: *throws her hands up* “This is unacceptable! I only drink the freshest coffee and espresso. Cancel my order; I’m going to the coffee shop that I know has fresh beans!”

(My coworker mutters behind the lady’s back after she leaves:)

Coworker: “Have a nice trip; don’t come back!” 

(We were beginning to think the lady was expecting us to pull out this coffee plant from the back garden and roast and grind the beans right there. Some people.)

(I recently started working for the tech department of an office supply chain store, and I quickly started to learn that the customers who need to buy software and hardware for their computers aren’t always the brightest bulbs of the bunch.)

Customer: “I am looking for MS Office.”

Me: “Sure, right this way.”

(I start to lead the customer toward the software section.)

Me: “Just out of curiosity, what are you going to be using it for? For work, or for college…?”

Customer: “HP.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “On an HP laptop.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. My mistake. I was actually wondering what you were going to be using it for?”

Customer: “MS Office.”

(I almost facepalm and rub my eyes as I sigh, trying to hide my frustration.)