Unfiltered Story #117410

, , | Unfiltered | July 23, 2018

At my store, we use both paper and plastic bags frequently. Note that (per state law!) We don’t charge for either.

Me: What kind of bag would you like?

Customer, more often than I care to count: Oh, just regular.

Me: *picks at random*

Working In A Deli Isn’t Wasted Years

, , , , , | Working | July 22, 2018

(My coworker created a deli-themed rapper alter-ego for himself. Sometimes when we’re not busy, he talks about what his alter-ego would sing about or what his concerts would be like.)

Coworker: “What do you think about this for the cover of the [Deli-Themed Rapper] album?”

(He crouches down with a box of fried chicken in his hand and tries to look tough.)

Me: “I think you should turn around and be like Nicki Minaj.”

(He and our other coworker crack up.)

Me: “My album cover would be my headless body slicing my head on the slicer, while it looks at you and grins horribly.”

Coworker: “Dude, that’s awesome.”

Me: “It’s like something out of Garbage Pail Kids. Or Iron Maiden, if they did deli stuff.”

Coworker: “I think, ‘Iron Maiden if they did deli stuff,’ might be the weirdest phrase I’ve heard all week.”

Me: “Cool. My job is done!”

Telling This “Riff Raff” To “Ride On”

, , , , , , | Friendly | July 21, 2018

(My sister is grocery shopping when a man comes up to her. She’s wearing a shirt with an AC/DC logo.)

Man: “Hey, miss, are you wearing an AC/DC shirt?”

Sister: “Yes?”

Man: “Kids, using real music to look cool. Do you even listen to AC/DC?”

Sister: “Actually, I love classic rock. I think it’s because when I was a baby, my dad would give me my bottles while watching Headbangers Ball on MTV2.”

Man: *pauses* “Your father is a good man.”

Has Minimum Understanding

, , , , | Right | July 20, 2018

(Two customers have been shopping together and sharing a basket, but they’re purchasing their items separately.)

Me: “Okay, this is going to be $3.49.”

([Customer #1] goes to hand me her credit card.)

Me: “Oh, I’m afraid we have a $5.00 card minimum.”

([Customer #1] looks at [Customer #2] with a deer-in-the-headlights face.)

Customer #2: *to [Customer #1]* “Oh, it’s fine; she’ll put your card through, anyway.”

(I start to shake my head and open my mouth to say no, I won’t waive the minimum, but [Customer #1] adds a piece of candy to her order.)

Customer #1: “What am I at now?”

Me: “$4.25. You could grab a $.99 drink, or another pack of gum?”

Customer #2: “Wait, you’re going to make her get to exactly $5.00?”

Me: “Well, we can make an exception starting at $4.95, but yes, it’s a $5.00 minimum.”

([Customer #1] adds another pack of gum and is able to pay with her card. Meanwhile [Customer #2] is staring at me with the most confused, grumpy look on his face.)

Customer #2: “Here, I have cash!”

Me: “Awesome, your total is $3.00.”

Customer #2: “So, you really wouldn’t just put that on my card?”

Me: “No, we have a $5.00 card minimum.”

(Amazingly, the cashier isn’t allowed to change the rules of the store! He honestly couldn’t comprehend that a card minimum means you need to spend that much to use your card.)

Are you often annoyed by people? Then you're going to love our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

Never Underestimate Their Inability To Demand A Discount

, , , , , | Right | July 20, 2018

(I work as a cashier at my local grocery store. My supervisor is an older man, who tends to be kind of a pushover in regards to customers, which is why this incident surprises me. I am scanning a woman’s groceries.)

Me: “Hello, did you manage to find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes. I have a 20% discount.”

Me: *a bit confused, as I don’t know of any coupon or deal we have to give 20% off an entire purchase* “Okay. Well, if you could just show me the coupon for that, I’ll get it scanned in.”

Customer: *says nothing, just stares at me*

Me: *after a few moments* “Um, ma’am? I’m going to need the coupon to process any discounts.”

Customer: *speaking very slowly* “I. Have. A. 20%. Discount.”

Me: “I understand, but I need something to scan in to process that discount.”

Customer: *stares at me, saying nothing*

(After a couple more attempts to get her to show me whatever is giving her this discount, my supervisor comes over to see what the hold-up is with my line. I explain things, while the woman just keeps staring silently at us.)

Supervisor: “All righty. So, as my cashier said, we need to see proof of the discount.”

Customer: *lets out an angry snort, but otherwise, still says nothing*

Supervisor: *after a brief staring contest with the woman, shakes his head* “Right, then.”

(He reaches over and types in the register to void out the purchase, pulling the bags around behind the counter.)

Supervisor: “Next!”

Customer: *starts screaming* “What are you doing?! I’m not finished!”

Supervisor: “Yeah, you are, as you just stood there like a statue. Now, you can either take your things and go to the back of the line to try this again, or you can get the h*** out of my store. Either way, you aren’t getting any discounts today.”

(After a brief angry glare, while I started scanning the next customer’s things, the woman turned and stomped out, making deliberately big stomps as she did.)

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