CONTENT WARNING: Injury detail

I’m serving a woman at the customer service counter when she suddenly collapses, hits her head on the counter on the way down, and starts bleeding on the floor. My coworker immediately leaps to her assistance while I get on the phone to call 911.

As I’m doing this, an oblivious customer walks over, almost STEPS OVER the collapsed woman, and holds out a piece of fruit at me.

Customer: “Can I get a price check on this grapefruit?”

Me: *Trying to talk to the 911 operator.*

Customer: “Excuse me! I’m asking you for service!”

Me: “One moment, ma’am!” *Goes back to talking to 911.*

Customer: “I said I am asking you—”

Coworker: “—Ma’am! Look at me! Down here! Do you see what is happening?!”

The customer looks down to see my coworker on the floor, administering assistance to the downed woman.

Customer: “I don’t see how that has anything to do with me.”

Coworker: “Ma’am! Back the f*** up right now, or the ambulance is going to have to deal with two patients, and one of them is going to have a grapefruit rammed up someplace tight.”

Customer: *Gasps, but backs away.* “How rude!”

She wrote in to complain, and corporate just gave her a slightly more polite version of what my coworker said.

A customer who has just paid and cashed out comes charging back in and starts shouting at the cashier who served him, one lane over from mine, so I can hear the whole thing.

Customer: “My tools are gone!”

Cashier: *Shooting an apologetic glance at the customer he is currently serving.* “What tools, sir?”

Customer: “The tools from my truck in the parking lot! Someone took my tools!”

Cashier: “Someone broke into your truck?”

Customer: “Well… it was unlocked. But it was in your parking lot!”

Cashier: “I can call my manager over to talk to you about this, sir, but your vehicle is your responsibility.”

Customer: “No, it’s the store’s responsibility while it’s on store property! You should have been keeping an eye on my truck since you got the giant windows right here!”

Cashier: “Um, no, sir. That’s not our responsibility.”

The manager comes over because the customer is being loud. The customer makes the same demands.

Manager: “Sir, why do you think it’s the store’s fault?”

Customer: “You got these giant windows right here! You should be keeping an eye on all the vehicles! It’s your fault!”

Manager: “And leaving your vehicle unsecured was your fault. Now I can go through the camera footage and present it to the police if you’d like to report the crime, but that’s all I can do. We won’t be taking responsibility.”

Customer: “Oh, you bet I’m calling the police!” 

He storms outside to do just that. The police were NOT amused when it was discovered the customer had placed his shopping bags ON TOP of his tools on the passenger seat, and just assumed they’d been stolen.

CORRECTION: A POV error has been fixed.

I am thirteen, shopping at Costco with my dad. He was the general director at a summer camp close by. We were buying all the junk food for camp for the next few weeks, to stock the small camp tuck store (campers get to spend a few dollars a day on chips, candy, etc).

As a result, we have two HUGE carts holding about three hundred pounds of junk food, and we’re on our way to the check-out line.

A little kid ahead of us in the line sees our carts and asks his father:

Kid: “Hey, Dad, can I go home with that family?”

My customer has three eighteen-packs of eggs in her cart.

Me: “Can you hold one up so I can scan it?”

Customer: “Why? It’s free.”

Me: “The eggs aren’t free, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, they are! It says right there, ‘free eggs’!”

Me: “That says cage-free eggs, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, it has the word ‘free’ in it, so you have to honor it.”

Me: “No, it just means the chickens were not raised in cages.”

Customer: “Free is free!”

I call the manager over to explain because I feel myself getting dumber by the minute.

After the manager explains and the customer angrily hands the egg packs back (she didn’t want them if she had to pay for them), she storms out.

Manager: *To me.* “I was really getting worried about the fat-free and sugar-free stuff in her cart!”

The customer is about to pay.

Customer: “What’s this message on the screen? It’s new.”

Me: “It’s asking if you’d like to round up your dollar to donate to the local children’s hospital.”

Customer: “F*** that. I don’t even support my own kids.”