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When You Can’t Convince ‘Em, Confuse ‘Em

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: SadClownPittyOrgy | September 27, 2021

I help an elderly lady at the grocery store grab something from the top shelf. After she goes on her merry way, I turn around and see a woman just glaring at me.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, you can! I’m looking for whole milk chocolate milk, but all you have is 2% chocolate milk! Why don’t you have whole milk chocolate milk?”

Me: “I’m not sure why they don’t have whole chocolate milk, but an alternative is buying regular whole milk and some chocolate syrup.”

Woman: “You expect me to pay more for your failure to stock whole chocolate milk?! You are trying to rip me off! Where is your manager?!”

Me: “I don’t work here, but even if I did, how would this issue be at all my fault?”

Woman: “If you don’t work here, then why were you helping that woman just now?”

Me: “Because I was just being helpful.”

Woman: “Bulls***. You work here and you are trying to rip me off!”

So, at this point, logic isn’t working.

Me: “Look, if it wasn’t for the secret elves that live inside my spleen, I’d gladly help you find your milk, but sadly, they don’t take days off and I really don’t want another egg soup incident again. So, if you will excuse me, I have a plane to catch.”

I spread my arms, turned around, and made airplane noises as I quickly walked away. She was left there speechless.

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This Will Help You (Tomato) Paste A Smile On Your Face

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: SmalltimeDog | September 26, 2021

I was doing my weekly grocery shop and was in the canned vegetable aisle when I heard a quiet “Excuse me” behind me. I turned around and there was an older woman easily under five feet tall.

Me: “Yes, ma’am? Can I help you?”

Woman: “I can’t find the tomato paste. Can you show me where it is?”

I knew it was two aisles over with the pasta sauce, and I knew it was on the second shelf from the top and that she would never be able to reach it, so I walked her over and grabbed it for her.

Me: “Is there anything else you need help with?”

Woman: “Yes!”

She showed me her list. I proceeded to walk around the store with her and take her to the items she needed. When we were done:

Woman: “I’m going to ask for the manager to tell them how helpful you’ve been and what a kind lad they have on hand!”

Me: “Oh, I don’t work here. I’m just getting my shopping done.”

I had not taken my cart into the aisle with me as I needed a can just a couple of shelves in.

Woman: “Why did you help me shop, then?”

Me: “We all need to help each other. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

When I went to check out, I saw her in the parking lot. She pulled the tomato paste out of her bag and shook it in the air as she waved at me and gave me an ear-to-ear smile. 11/10, would help her shop again.

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This Is Egg-sactly Why I Do This

, , | Right | September 26, 2021

I used to often get the job of stacking the eggs at my fruit store. I would check the cartons as I put them out so we could contact the company for refunds if there were too many breakages in the delivery. It slowed things down a little, but I figured it was a good business idea. I would also check my customer’s eggs in front of them so they knew they were taking good eggs.

One day, one of my customers came back.

Customer: “All of these eggs are broken!”

The carton had clearly been dropped. I knew their eggs were fine when they left but the manager gave them a refund anyway.

Me: *To my manager* “This is one of the reasons I ‘waste’ time checking the eggs.”

I got told off for talking back.

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The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 22

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2021

I’m being trained as a cashier. An older woman comes up and puts her things on the cart.

Customer: “I have a gift card.

Me: “All right, you can use that first, and then your regular card.

Customer: “I hope you get this right. The last girl messed up my order, and I was so embarrassed!

Me: “Oh, hope I don’t do that.

I ring up her order while my supervisor helps her with a separate purchase she wants to make.

Me: “Which card do you want to use?

Customer: “That’s up to you.

Me: *Confused* “Uh, actually, that’s up to you.

She puts her card in and groans. She put in her regular card first.

Customer: “Oh, no! You messed it up! You people never get this right!

Me: “That… wasn’t your gift card?

Customer: *To my supervisor* “You need to train her better! This happens every time! I’m never coming back again!

While customer service smoothed it out, I was just wondering how the heck this was my fault. She knew which card was which, but she didn’t know to put in the gift card first? Some people have no sense of personal responsibility.

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 21
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 20
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 19
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 18
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 17

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Can’t Even Have A Little Bite Without A Customer Getting In Your Face

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: werewolfer | September 22, 2021

I work in a grocery store in the meat department. We have a regular that comes in every day and wants his meat products cut up into little bite-size pieces for him, and it all has to weigh exactly half a pound. We call him Little Bites.

I had the day off today, but I go to the cafe attached to the grocery store to have lunch with a friend. I’m not wearing my very specific and bright-colored polo, my hat with the store logo, or my meat coat. I’m in regular clothing.

I’m talking with my friend, and she keeps glancing behind me, so I look over my shoulder. Little Bites is leering over me.

Little Bites: “Finally! I’d like two, please. Both chicken, thanks.”

Me: “What?”

Little Bites: “Don’t you work here?”

Me: “Not right now, and not at all today. I’m clearly having lunch.”

Little Bites: “Well, I don’t really like any of your coworkers, so just go run back there and do it really quick.”

Me: “No, I can’t, because I’m not working right now.”

Little Bites: “At least go back there and tell them I want two and for both to be chicken.”

Me: “I’m having lunch right now and won’t be doing that.”

Little Bites: “Fine!”

And then he stormed off. When I asked my coworkers the next day if he came back, they said yes and that he was fuming. He avoided me for a few months after that, which was an added perk.

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