Refunder Blunder, Part 32

, , , , , | Right | December 13, 2017

(I work behind the customer service desk at a supermarket chain. I get a lot of annoying or bizarre returns that I have to process, but this one is particularly memorable. An older woman storms up to the desk to return a single pint of blueberries, claiming that she actually bought two.)

Customer: “I want to return these. I just bought these today, and I went through both cartons, and they were all bad!”

Me: “All right, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I don’t. I bought them today. They were buy-one-get-one-free.”

Me: “Since you don’t have a receipt, it’ll have to be store credit. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have much of a choice, now, do I?”

(I just sort of laugh awkwardly at her snotty comment and ring in the blueberries. The refund comes to $4.99. I scan a gift card and hand it to her.)

Me: Okay, here you go. You have $4.99 on that.”

Customer: “$4.99?! Where’s my double?! I can’t believe I wasted my gas coming here!”

(She stomped off after flinging the receipt on the counter. There was no way she would have gotten a $9.98 return because she only brought back one container and didn’t have the receipt. They were “buy-one-get-one-free,” anyway. A refund of “free” is nothing.)



Refunder Blunder, Part 31

Refunder Blunder, Part 30

Refunder Blunder, Part 29

Like Baby, Baby, Baby, NOOOOOOO!

, , , , | Working | December 12, 2017

(I am working a 4:00 pm to 1:00 am shift at a very large grocery store chain. We have assistant managers for each department, and one of them plays a prank on the entire store. The store is open 24/7 and third shift comes in at 10:00 pm, with assistant managers taking over for each other a little earlier, but there’s a bit of an overlap with my shift. We have a room that controls security cameras but also has controls for the music that plays on speakers throughout the store. For some reason, third shift managers cannot get into this room. Around 9:00 pm, our department notices something out of the ordinary.)

Me: “Hey, hasn’t this song played before?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I think you’re right. Maybe it’s just a really short loop through the playlist.”

(A couple minutes later.)

Me: “No, this is definitely on its own loop. Somebody put it on repeat. Can we see if a manager can get in there and fix it?” *finding a third shift manager* “Can you get in the control room to change this music?”

Manager: *visibly annoyed* “None of us on third shift have access to the control room. We’re seeing if a manager from another shift can come in to let us in. If not, we’re just going to have to suck it up until morning.”

(No one came in to change the music. From 9:00 pm until 7:00 am, when new managers came in, Justin Bieber’s “Baby” played on repeat. Third had to work their entire shift listening to that song over and over again. Customers also had to endure it all night. Thankfully, we got off at 1:00 am, but it was still really annoying. I’m not sure if the manager who pulled it off was disciplined at all, but it’s by far the most epic prank I’ve experienced in the workplace. Years later, I still know every word to that song.)

A Pathological Vapo-Rub User

, , | Healthy | December 11, 2017

(I’m out grocery shopping, and I’m having trouble finding something, so I go to find a store employee. It’s worth noting that I’m a very petite blond woman in my early thirties.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you happen to know where the VapoRub is?”

Stocker: “Oh, yeah, it’s over here.”

(He hands me a tub of the stuff formulated for babies, and I thank him and immediately swap it out for a jar of the menthol mint formula.)

Stocker: “Ma’am, you don’t want to use that stuff with your kids. It’ll be too strong for them.”

Me: “Well, that’s good, because I don’t have kids.”

Stocker: “What’s it for, then?”

Me: “Cadavers. I’m a pathologist, and peppermint oil just doesn’t last through the workday. Water deaths, especially; you would not believe the smell…”

(The guy went sheet-white, and hurried away as fast as he could without running. I felt kind of bad, but it was definitely the funniest part of my day! My mentor always said that pathologists have the weirdest sense of humor…)

The Importance Of Fact-Checking

, , , , | Right | December 11, 2017

(We have a rather gullible regular who has somehow grown up convinced that if a thing is in print, it has to be true.)

Regular: *as she’s being rung up by my coworker* “Oh! Did you hear? There was a shark attack last week!”

Coworker: “Oh, my goodness! Where?”

Regular: “[Nearby Apartment Complex].”

Coworker: *pause* “Pardon?”

Regular: “Yeah, apparently some family had a shark mounted on the wall. That must have angered the other shark. It broke down the door and bit an 11-year-old on the face!”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “[Regular], that never happened.”

Regular: “It did! It was in the news and everything!”

Me: “[Regular], think about it. How could a shark hold its breath on land long enough to somehow travel five miles away from the water and cross a dozen busy roads, just to break down a door and attack a child? All without legs?”

Regular: “Hold on! I’ll bring up the article!”

Coworker: “[Regular], we don’t mind you Googling it, but there’s a line behind you. I’m afraid you can’t stand here at the registers looking for it.”

Regular: “No worries. I’ll come back and show you the article!”

(She paraded out the door, fiddling with her phone, still searching. My coworker put his hands together and loudly mock-prayed, “Please don’t let her discover Sharknado! Please don’t let her discover Sharknado!” A few days later, she came back, having forgotten about the “shark attack,” but full to bursting about the news that all major movie companies were going to create DVDs that would completely erase themselves after a single viewing of a movie, forcing everyone to have to buy it again to watch it a second time. No one could convince her that the movie industry would become bankrupt virtually overnight if they did so.)

Caught Red (Or White) Handed

, , , , , , | Right | December 8, 2017

(A customer starts walking out of the store with a bottle of wine clearly sticking out of his sweater. My coworker moves in front of him to block his path.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, sir.”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “What do you have under your shirt, there?”

Customer: *pause* “My skin.”

Coworker: “Come on, bro.”

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