A customer is checking out using food stamps.

Me: “Your total is $546.18.”

Customer: “Oh, we only have like… $200 on that card.”

Me: “Oh… well… would you like to take some items off, or pay for those with another form of payment?”

Customer: “I only have the card.”

They remove a single loaf of bread.

Customer: “How much is it now?”

We’re incredibly busy, and the customers in line behind them immediately realize this is not going to be a quick ordeal. They all immediately vacate for other lines, but this creates new issues as new customers join the line thinking they’ve scored a jackpot by finding the checkout with almost no line, only to realize pretty quickly why there was no line to begin with.

Customer: *After removing maybe three more items* “How much is it now?”

Me: “I’m going to be honest; you’re going to need to remove over half of this stuff before it comes close to $200.”

Customer: “But we don’t pay sales tax. Did you take that off?”

Me: “I did, and your total is still over $500.”

Customer: “Oh… Let me think.”

I encouraged them to stand aside to decide what they wanted to keep, but of course, they did not, and my manager passing by temporarily closed my lane so that this customer could dither for half an hour going through their items one by one. During a bust rush!

Look. I get not having enough money for what you have in the cart. It has happened to many of us, including me. However, if you know how much you have in stamps, and know you don’t pay any sales tax on your purchase, why not just add up what you put in the cart as you go?

Why are you coming to the register with $500 worth of food and only just under $200 on your card with no extra ways to pay for the rest of it? I guarantee you have SOMETHING that can act as a calculator, or the kids you dragged in have something. USE IT, PLEASE!

We are very busy as our state has recently ended a lockdown and mask mandate so everyone is shopping again and using their pent-up retail energy. However, my store, like a lot of companies, downsized significantly during the lockdowns, and we’re struggling to hire people back to keep up with the demand.

Customer: “This is crazy! You have all these customers and only four lanes open! Explain yourself!”

Me: “We’re currently trying to hire, but it’s slow-going getting staff back after all that’s happened.” 

Customer: “Such a lazy generation! No one wants to work anymore!”

Me: “Would you like an application? I have some physical copies here if you don’t like applying online.”

Customer: “What?! Why the f*** would I want to work here?!”

Me: “Well, you just said we need more people.”

Customer: “I’m fifty-eight years old! Why would I want to work as a f****** checkout clerk?!”

Me: “It’s sad… People your age don’t want to work anymore…” *Huge customer service smile*

Customer: *Glaring* “That’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

Customer: “I’m so happy you had this sauce! I was looking everywhere for it!”

Me: “Oh, I’m usually pretty good at knowing what we have in stock, but I’ve never seen this one. What’s it for?” 

Customer: “It’s used for Puerto Rican food. It’s a very special and unique flavor that you can’t really get from anything else. I love that your store sells it.”

Me: “I’m really happy we had it for you! I’ve never had Puerto Rican food, but I’ll look up this sauce later and see what it goes well with.” 

They check out, and I continue with my shift as normal. About three hours later, I see the customer back at my checkout lane.

Customer: “Oh, good! You’re still here! I was worried your shift might have ended!”

Me: “Is everything okay?”

They hand over some Tupperware containing what looks like many different types of food.

Customer: “I was telling my mom about the cashier who’d never had Puerto Rican food, and I swear you could’ve heard her gasp from here. She cooked up a little bit of everything and made me run back over here for you to try some.”

Me: “Oh, my! That’s so nice of you! And her! Thank you so much!”

Customer: “I’ll be back next week for your opinion!” 

Me: “And the Tupperware!” 

Customer: “Nah, it’s okay. Mom never expects to get those back.”

Not only was the food delicious, but I tried it with the sauce from my store, and it really enhanced it! I still returned the Tupperware the next week (I had it on me for every shift just in case), and it’s a good thing I did because even more food came my way from that crazy Puerto Rican mother the following week.

I became an expert on Puerto Rican food just from sitting at my checkout lane!

It is during the time when wearing masks is a mandate and we are stressing the need for customers to remain six feet apart if possible. A masked customer approaches me.

Customer: “Where are you selling your masks?”

Me: “We have boxes of them in various places throughout the store, such as near the entrance and at the checkouts.”

Customer: “Can I buy them all?” 

Me: “All? Well, we limit it to two boxes per customers, so—”

Customer: “But I want to buy them all.” 

Me: “We have hundreds of boxes in stock, and each box has a hundred masks. What do you need all the masks for?”

Customer: “You don’t let anyone in if they’re not wearing a mask, right?” 

Me: “Right.”

Customer: “So, if I buy up all the masks, then no one else will be able to get a mask, and I’ll have this place to myself!”

Me: “Okay, first of all, that will cost you hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars, even if we did let you buy them all up. Secondly, we live in a city with almost half a million people; there are going to be a lot more people coming here than you could ‘buy out’, but you forgot the most important thing.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “We give a free mask out to every customer who doesn’t have one.”

Customer: “Ugh! That’s ridiculous! If they can’t afford a mask, then the plague should claim them!”

Me: “Sir, based on the face I am making at you right now, be very glad half of it is being covered by a mask…”

He purchased his two boxes and drove off in his very expensive car. The worst customer I ever encountered during that terrible time.

Related:
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 32
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 31
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 30
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 29
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 28

A woman is checking out with her maybe three-year-old daughter.

Customer: “[Daughter], help Mommy check out.”

Normally, I am wary of this when we’re busy, as some kids are slow or don’t really know what they’re doing, but this kid is diligently handing me stuff and I am ringing it in, so I let it go. None of the other customers in line seem to be bothered.

After I give them the total, the customer starts looking through all the items left to bag.

Customer: “Oh, we’re not getting that… or this candy, either… or this toy. Oh, not that, either…”

After it has become apparent that this kid has been chucking anything she fancies into the cart, the mother then turns on me in a wild personality change.

Customer: “D***, B****! DO YOU SCAN ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES YOU?!”

I can do a personality change of my own.

Me: “Yes, b****, because that is literally my job! If you don’t want something, you tell me before I scan it.”

We cleared all the items she didn’t want, and the kid started throwing a tantrum seeing all her spoils taken away, delaying things further.