Bad Parenting, No Ifs, No Butts

, , , , , , | Friendly | January 19, 2018

(My manager is a very no-nonsense kind of person, and always speaks her mind. She’s out with her four-year-old daughter, and there’s a young boy acting up in front of them. The mother is doing nothing about it.)

Daughter: *to boy’s mother* “You know, this wouldn’t happen if you’d beat his a**.”

Manager: “[Daughter]! You don’t say things like that!”

Daughter: “I’m sorry, Mommy!” *to boy’s mother* “This wouldn’t happen if you’d beat his butt.”

Manager: “That’s better.”

(They walked away with the mother glaring daggers at them, my manager beaming with pride the entire time.)

Lighting A Candle For Her Every Single Day

, , , , , | Hopeless | January 17, 2018

(It’s been a long and terrible day at work. I want to slam my head into the register. I have nobody in my line for a while until an elderly man walks up. He carefully places some items onto the belt: some bread, ice cream, a magazine, and two little candles. I take a deep breath to greet him.)

Me: “Hello, sir! How are you?”

Man: “I am doing very well. How about yourself, young lady?”

Me: “I am doing fine! Would you like paper or plastic?”

Man: “Plastic is just fine! Can you please be careful of these candles? They’re my wife’s favorites!”

Me: “Of course!”

(The transaction goes by just fine. He starts chatting with another customer and me.)

Man: “I remember coming in here with her. She’d pick out those candles, I’d accidentally drop them and break them, and she’d smack my arm and laugh. Sweet days. She was such a sweet lady.”

Me: “Oh… She’s…”

Man: “She’s been gone ten years, now. Sometimes I buy these candles for her, hoping to see her again to enjoy them. It hasn’t worked so far, but I won’t stop trying!”

(I finished his transaction with tears in my eyes, and wished him and the other customer well. That’s probably the most bittersweet thing I’ve ever heard.)

Rick-Rolling On The Loudspeaker

, , , , , , | Working | January 17, 2018

(I work at a grocery store. One day, Rick Astley’s infamous song, “Never Gonna Give You Up,” starts playing over the store speakers, and as I listen, my coworker from another department interrupts the music and takes this opportunity to make an announcement over the P.A.)

Coworker: “Attention, customers! Come on back to the meat department, where we’re never gonna give you up. We’re never gonna let you down with sub-par product, so don’t run around to other stores and hurt us. I’m never gonna tell a lie and say we don’t have great deals, so don’t say goodbye. We’re never gonna desert you. Thank you for shopping at [Grocery Store]!”

They’re Not Deserving Of Any Credit

, , , , , , | Right | January 17, 2018

(It’s a normal evening at my store. I am checking out a long line of people when an older man in sunglasses hands me his credit card. I take it at first, thinking it’s our rewards card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not allowed to touch your card; it’s company policy.”

Customer: “I don’t care. You swipe it. It’s your machine, so you swipe it!”

Me: *scanning his items, attempting to give him back his card* “Sir, please take your card. I’m really not supposed to touch them or swipe them for you.”

Customer: “IT’S YOUR MACHINE! YOU DO IT!”

Me: *giving up, as at this point my line has grown by four people* “Credit or debit?”

Customer: “Figure it out!”

(I run the card as credit, then return it to him.)

Customer: *nastily* “It’s just good customer service!”

Unfiltered Story #103835

, , , | Unfiltered | January 17, 2018

(I have just returned to work after being very sick for about a week and a half. I’d lost my voice and was unable to work for many days. A regular who favors me, an older man with a thick, possibly Spanish-influenced accent, comes to my line.)

Customer: “Where were you?”

Me: “I’m sorry? When?”

Customer: “For two weeks, I no see you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, I was very sick.”

Customer: *gasps* “Me too!”

(We have a conversion, to the best of our ability to understand each other, about being sick, while I ring his items through and refill his cart. He pays, as always, with a $100 bill.)

Customer: “I see you next week? When do you work?”

Me: “Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.”

Customer: “I see you next week!”

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