Reach For The Stars, Just Not Mine

, , , , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I’m out picking a few things up at the local supermarket when I begin to hear a woman ranting loudly at an employee. After about a minute of yelling, I go to investigate.)

Customer: “You’re going straight to Hell for wearing that kind of thing! Satanist! SATANIST!”

(The employee looks to be about 16, and is stocking some shelves. Her protests go unheard, but she is soldiering on, even though I can tell she is about to cry.)

Customer: “It’s witch-scum like you who are calling the devil into our city. You make me sick, wearing a pentagram! Devil w****! DEVIL W****!”

Employee: “Ma’am, for the last—”

(She is cut off by another burst of ranting. I start to walk over. The employee turns to me and I see that her necklace is not, in fact, a pentagram at all.)

Me: “Ma’am, that is enough. Leave this poor girl alone. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Customer: *sneering* “And what are you? Her witch-lord? Going to cast a spell on a good Christian woman like me? DEMONSPAWN!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a ‘witch-lord.’ I’m someone who can tell the difference between a pentagram and a STAR OF DAVID, which you, apparently, cannot!”

(The customer went white as a sheet and reexamined the necklace. She left, running. The employee was still near tears, but kept it together.)

Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 3

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I live in a county where we charge five cents per bag, so this happens to me about ten times a day. A customer approaches on cell phone.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Customer: *no answer*

Me: “Would you like a bag for your items today?”

Customer: *keeps talking on phone, ignoring me*

Me: *hands their two items to them*

Customer: “I need a bag! How am I supposed to carry all of this?!”

Me: “…”

 

Related:
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage, Part 2
Has Some Serious Bag Baggage

Gluten Out Of Ten For Ignorance

, , , , , , , | Working | November 17, 2017

(My local store sells a select few items that are gluten-free, which is a wonderful find for us. It’s very limited but we love the selection: frozen pizzas, breakfast sandwiches, chicken fingers, etc. I am shopping with family and I grab a whole bunch of breakfast sandwiches. I’m not really paying attention to the date on them.)

Sister’s Wife: “Those expired last April.”

Me: “What?!”

(I look and, sure enough, the expiration date is April of 2016.)

Me: “That can’t be right; maybe that is the manufacture date?”

(But nope, it is the expiration date. We calmly bring them to the register and tell the cashier they are expired, and here is where the fun begins.)

Cashier: “No, they expire this coming April.”

Me: “Uh, no, we are in 2017, not 2016.”

(She continues to assert that they don’t expire for another few months. Finally, I politely ask:)

Me: “Can you page a supervisor?”

(The manager comes and I explain the situation.)

Manager: “Oh, no… gluten-free just means the product doesn’t expire.”

(We gave up after that and literally laughed the entire way home.)

How Do I Put This Deli-cately

, , , , | Working | November 15, 2017

(I work customer service at a grocery store. One night, a girl who looks to be in her mid-20s comes up to the counter and asks for a job application. I hand it to her and have the following conversation.)

Girl: “Thanks. I really, really need to find a job. Can I borrow a pen and fill this out now? I really need to find a job right now, any job. I’m desperate.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what to tell you about all departments, but I do know that the deli is hiring right now.”

Girl: *drops the pen in horror* “The deli?! I can’t work in the deli! No way!”

(She turns and runs out of the store. Behind me, the deli supervisor breaks out laughing.)

Me: “Guess she didn’t really, really need a job that badly, after all.”

(Coincidentally, a job in another department opened up next day, but since she hadn’t bothered to fill out the application, she never knew.)

That Age-Old Discount Trick

, , , , , , , | Right | November 13, 2017

(My coworker who normally works in the morning is helping a customer at our donut case. It’s about four in the afternoon.)

Customer: “Why are these donuts so expensive?”

(Donuts are 50 cents each.)

Coworker: “Well, they do go on sale later in the evening.” *to me* “What is the deal with donut sale?”

Me: “Donuts are 50% off after five, but you have to buy a dozen.”

Customer: “I have to wait an hour to buy donuts?!”

Me: “If you want the discount. And you have to buy a dozen.”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the discount? I only want two. I’m old!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t give you the discount.”

Customer: “Well, who can? I’m old!”

Me: “Maybe the store manager.”

(The customer wanders off and comes back a few minutes later.)

Customer: “The store manager said I could have the donuts for half price.”

Me: “Okay.”

(The customer picks out his two donuts and shakes them angrily at us as he walks away.)

Customer: “I’m old!”

Coworker: “I’m middle-aged! Where’s my discount? You’re young! Where’s your discount?”

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