Two customers are waiting at my till a young man and an old lady. The man puts stew beef and vegetables on the till.

Old lady: I bet I know what you’re getting up to tonight.

Young man goes red and I don’t realise why until he puts a bumper pack of condoms on the till, the old lady went very red and apologised but luckily the man laughed and the three of us all had a bit of a giggle

(I work in a specialty grocery store that specializes in bulk food. We have product in bulk food bins that most grocery stores use, but they line every aisle of our store. We have one aisle that has spice bins against a wall, making three long rows against the entire wall. Due to the nature of the product, we are required to vacuum the bins every night due to the mess that is usually made. This is one of those nights where I am vacuuming and a customer is buying spices. The vacuum is on and it is quite loud. The customer comes up and says something I can’t make out due to the noise from the vacuum.)

Me: *turns vacuum off* “Pardon?”

Customer: “Someone made a mess!”

(As she says this, she points to the thyme bin, which has the spice all on top of the lid and on the floor. I already knew about this, as it is right next to me and the mess is quite big. Her tone of voice implied she didn’t think I knew.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s why I’m vacuuming.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(I’m at the store pharmacy in a retirement community waiting for my prescription. There is a row of chairs, and I watch an elderly couple come over. The man sits down. His wife has a grocery cart, and apparently he plans to wait while she is shopping. I assume that due to his age or a disability, he isn’t able to walk around the whole store with her. Then, I overhear this:)

Wife: “Do you want to have a cookie while you wait?”

Husband: “Yeah.”

Wife: “Then go get it yourself. I’m not getting it for you!”

(I work in a chain of stores that has over 300 locations across Canada. There is one flyer for all the stores, but my store often has cheaper prices than the flyer due to local competition. An older lady and her husband come in asking where the Jello — 10 for $10 in the flyer — is located.)

Me: “The Jello is right over here.”

Lady: “What the h*** are you trying to pull? That is a rip off.”

Me: *totally cut off guard* “Um… Is there an issue with the Jello?”

Lady: “I want the 10-for-$10 Jello!”

(I realized we sold our Jello at a regular price of $0.99 each, so it would come to $9.90, saving her $0.10 more than the flyer. I told her that she would be saving money. She called me stupid and wouldn’t calm down until the manager sold it to her for 10 for $10.)

(I work in a bakery in a grocery store. We have full loaves of bread that the customer can cut themselves or take home. One night, I notice a woman idling by the bread slicer.)

Me: “Hi, do you need any help?”

Customer: “No, I’m just waiting on my husband to come slice the bread for me.”

Me: “I can do it if you want.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. He doesn’t come with me to the store often, so I like to make him feel useful when he does.”