Caught Red (Or White) Handed

, , , , , , | Right | December 8, 2017

(A customer starts walking out of the store with a bottle of wine clearly sticking out of his sweater. My coworker moves in front of him to block his path.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, sir.”

Customer: “What?”

Coworker: “What do you have under your shirt, there?”

Customer: *pause* “My skin.”

Coworker: “Come on, bro.”

Unfiltered Story #101520

, , | Unfiltered | December 8, 2017

(I’m at the self checkout lane in a grocery store. I was just getting some apples and corn…)

Machine: Please place your apples on the conveyor belt.

Me: *Does it*

Machine: Please place your CORN on the conveyor belt

Me:*Jumps back on how forcefully it was said* Ok…

My Mother: *In my face* CORN!

Me: Well that machine is aggressive.

Unfiltered Story #101292

, , , | Unfiltered | December 7, 2017

I’m checking customers out on my lane. An elderly man begins placing his items on my conveyor belt and I begin to ring them.

Me “Did you find everything alright today?”

Customer “No”

Me “Well is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer “How about a hooker?”

Me “…”

Your Compassion Has Been Disabled

, , , | Right | December 5, 2017

(A customer starts up a conversation as I am ringing up her items.)

Customer: “You know what I noticed?”

Me: “What, ma’am?”

Customer: “You have an awful lot of handicapped spots outside.”

Me: “I think there’s a set number of spaces required for the disabled.”

Customer: “There are just so many. Almost more than normal spaces. Not that I don’t feel bad for them, but I don’t think they really need that many. Do you?”

Me: “Bags or boxes, ma’am?”

A Rose By Any Other Customer

, , , | Right | December 5, 2017

(I’m working the till as an elderly lady is slowly unloading the items in her mobility walker onto the belt. Behind her, my assistant manager is waiting to purchase some food for herself, as it is her lunch break. The elderly lady puts the last item on, and I say hello and start scanning her items. She looks around with a confused look and turns to me.)

Customer: “Do you guys have flowers?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are right behind the register, just around the corner.”

Customer: *sees my assistant manager and turns to her* “Do you guys sell flowers?”

Manager: “Yes, they are just behind the register, around the corner.”

Customer: “What flowers do you have?”

Me: “Tulips and roses, ma’am.”

(The customer asks the manager the same question, who walks over to the flowers to confirm. She walks back to the customer to answer her.)

Manager: “We have tulips and bouquets.”

Customer: “How much are they?”

Manager: *walks back to the flowers and back to the customer* “The tulips are €1,99 and the bouquets are €2,49.”

Customer: “Hmm. I’ll take two tulips.”

(The manager walks back to the flowers.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we only have one bouquet of tulips left.”

Customer: “Hmf. Guess I’ll take one then.”

(The manager brings the tulips over and hands them to the customer.)

Customer: “Don’t you have another colour?”

Manager: “I’m sorry, this is the last we have.”

Customer: “I don’t like this. What flowers are in the bouquets?”

Me: “Roses, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t like roses; they wilt so quickly. What else is in them?”

(The manager puts the tulips back and looks through the assorted bouquets. She comes back to answer the lady.)

Manager: “We have assorted bouquets with various flowers, mostly roses though.”

Customer: “I’ll take one. But not too many roses!”

(The manager walks back to the flower corner and holds up a bouquet of assorted flowers with some roses.)

Manager: “How are these, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’ll do.”

Manager: *relieved she can almost pay and get her lunch* “Great, here you go!”

Customer: “Hmm… no, these are too dark on the eyes. Never mind, dear, I don’t want flowers after all.”

(She paid and left, and never said a word of thanks to my manager who walked back and forth at least five times on her lunch break!)

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