No License To Bill

, , | Right | February 25, 2021

I am working in a small supermarket. A man comes to me with a beer can and one can of sparkling wine.

Me: “That would be 3,33 €.”

Customer: “I’ll pay with card.”

He gives me a card that’s not signed on the back. As per policy, I ask him for his license.

Customer: “I don’t have it with me; it’s my wife’s card. She’s waiting in the car.”

I then look at the name of the cardholder and see it’s a female name.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t use this card unless your wife shows me her license.”

The customer begins negotiating with me because it’s only 3€ and nobody would steal a card for this amount. I see that he won’t understand and step away from the till to call my boss, so she can explain it again and maybe convince him. By the time she’s there, the customer is on his way out to get his wife. My boss sees this and tells me to make them show me a license and it’ll be fine.

Me: *To his wife* “The card is not signed.”

Customer’s Wife: “Okay, let me sign it.”

Me: “No, I need to see a license.”

The two customers begin to argue in another language. She then leaves to get her license.

Customer: “It’s a Polish license. Can you even read Polish?”

I shake my head.

Customer: “Thought so.”

The woman came back and showed her ID, which matched the name on the card, and left. I let the customer pay with his wife’s card and sent him on his way. My boss saw that this thing clearly upset me and assured me that I had done everything right. At least it was a Friday!

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They Have 20-Dollar-20 Vision

, , , , , , , | Right | February 25, 2021

I work in EMS. I got off work after 2:00 am due to a late call, and I am headed back in to work for my 10:00 am shift after less than five hours of sleep.

I stop at the nearby superstore to get a few odds and ends and a farewell card for a coworker whose last day is coming up soon. While checking out at the self-checkout, I request $20 cash-back to use to purchase lunch later. 

Two and a half hours later, I am thinking of getting lunch and I reach for my wallet to make sure I have the $20 to use to pay… but it isn’t there. I left it in the self-checkout register. I realize my mistake, tell my coworkers, who good-naturedly laugh at me as I call myself an idiot, and promptly drive down the road to the store hoping there is any chance of getting my cash back. 

When I arrive at the store, receipt in hand, and tell the girl at the self-checkout my story, she apologizes and says she wasn’t there earlier but will ask someone who was. Her coworker immediately walks over to the main self-checkout register and reaches under it to pull out my exact $20 bill, with a duplicate receipt to prove it is mine. Once he sees that my receipt matches, he gives me the $20!

Then, I am on my way, feeling like the luckiest person in the world because no one else swiped my cash and the earlier self-checkout worker caught my blunder and saved it. 

I cannot thank these employees enough; they really restored my faith in humanity. I’ve already submitted an absolutely glowing review on their company survey site, but I felt they needed a little more recognition here.

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The Cup Needs To Be Full Of Specifics

, , , | Right | February 24, 2021

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have coffee here to drink?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, there’s a hot coffee dispenser just to the left of the door you walked in through.”

Customer: “To drink?”

Me: *Pointing* “Yes, ma’am, just there by the door behind you.”

She repeatedly mimes bringing a cup to her lips.

Customer: “Like a cup?”

Me: *Pointing again and losing patience* “Yes, ma’am, ready-made coffee, hot and in liquid form, for you to drink right this second. Just turn and head a few short steps toward the door you’ve only just come in, and you’ll see the coffee dispenser ready to pour hot coffee into a cup just for you.”

The customer looked unsure for a couple of seconds before finally turning her head to see the coffee station and getting her coffee to drink in a cup. Apparently, she desperately needed it.

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Tri A Little Harder Next Time

, , , | Right | February 22, 2021

We have a very relaxed returns policy in our store, which leads to some people taking advantage. 

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this tri-colour quinoa I bought. I spoke to [Manager] on the phone earlier.”

Me: *Checks the bag* “Ma’am, that’s red quinoa. We don’t sell that.”

Customer: “No, it’s tri-colour quinoa.”

Me: “It really isn’t. It’s red. We don’t sell that; therefore, I can’t refund it. “

Customer: “It is! The black and white quinoa fell out of the bag and all through my car!”

Me: *Pauses* “I’m sorry, I don’t think that happened.”

The woman left the store muttering. She later called the manager and complained that I’d humiliated her, called her a liar, and made her cry.

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Thanks, But No Spanks

, , , , , | Right | February 17, 2021

An older lady comes up to my register with a lot of groceries. As I am scanning her items, a young male customer who comes in every morning to get an energy drink gets in line behind her. 

Female Customer: *To me* “You remind me of my grandchildren!”

I’m unsure of how to take this.

Me: “Oh, well, thank you.”

Female Customer: “You know what I like to do with my grandchildren?”

She leans in over the conveyor belt and says with a wink:

Female Customer: “Spank them.”

I am so taken aback, I don’t even know how to respond. I look at the guy behind her, and his eyes go wide open, too. 

I am stammering, trying to think of some way to make this conversation appropriate, but I can’t think of anything. The old lady then turns to the guy behind her:

Female Customer: “You’ll help me spank him, won’t you?”

Male Customer: *Completely red-faced* “Oh, um, I don’t know, yeah, I guess.”

I was so taken aback and embarrassed by the whole conversation that I didn’t even say anything for the rest of the transaction. After the lady left, the other customer — who was apparently okay with helping an old lady spank another young guy — refused to look at me for his whole transaction. I never saw either of them ever again.

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