The Customer Salespeople Dream Of

, , , , , , , | Friendly | February 21, 2020

(My boyfriend and I are downstairs at my family’s house when my brother calls down to say that a friend of his will be coming over and ask if we could let him in. About five minutes later, there’s a knock at the door and my boyfriend goes to answer it, though he’s still mostly focused on his phone.)

Visitor: “Um, hello, I’m–”

Boyfriend: “Hey, yeah, come on in. Just through here.”

Visitor: “Oh…” *hesitates* “All right, I guess.”

(He follows my boyfriend through to the kitchen and, just as he’s about to call up to my brother, my boyfriend turns to actually look properly at the guy he’s invited in.)

Visitor: “Hi, so, I’m here to talk to you about the great work that [Cancer Charity] is doing.”

(My boyfriend freezes, suddenly noticing that this guy is in uniform with a clipboard and realising his mistake. He’s pretty socially awkward normally, so he’s really not sure what to do.)

Visitor: *continues spiel*

Boyfriend: “Um… I thought–”

Visitor: *continues spiel*

Boyfriend: “Uh, I guess I can afford that…”

(And that’s how my boyfriend not only accidentally signed up to a monthly charity donation out of sheer embarrassment but also was too socially awkward to call and cancel the donation despite being a poor student who really couldn’t afford it.)

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Kindness Needs No Interpretation

, , , , | Friendly | February 21, 2020

(I’ve been going through a rough time lately. There’s been so much going on with my work that I’ve been struggling with a lot of things outside of work. My long-term boyfriend decided to take me out shopping to take my mind off of things. We are looking at new aftershaves for him and are talking and laughing when I notice a group of three Asian men talking amongst themselves nearby. I notice that they are talking to each other using British Sign Language. Both my parents are deaf so I’m proficient myself and am currently studying my NVQs in it in my spare time. I keep glancing over and they notice me. I don’t want to seem rude or make them uncomfortable so I turn my attention back to what my boyfriend is doing. After a while, I notice that the men are trying to talk to the sales assistant but they aren’t getting anywhere. Knowing how difficult communication can be for my parents, I decide to help out.)

Me: *in sign language* “Hey, sorry, I noticed you were having some difficulty. Can I help?”

(They stare at me in shock before [Man #1] reacts.)

Man #1: “Yeah, I wanted to buy this fragrance. Can you tell her?”

(I relay the message and the lady tells me it is out of stock.)

Me: “It looks like they’re out of stock of this one. One second.”

(I turn back to the lady and ask if it would be possible to order it instore as most can. She tells me they can’t do that but they can go online to do it. I tell the men that.)

Man #2: “How do you know sign language?”

Me: “My parents are deaf and they taught me as I was growing up. That’s why I was looking at you earlier; I hope you don’t think I was being rude!”

Man #1: “No, you weren’t. Thank you for the help. We’ll order this online.”

Man #3: *to [Man #1]* “Maybe you should buy her a meal to say thank you.”

(We all laughed and I waved them off.)

Me: “My mum has difficulty sometimes and I’ve always been there to help her; it was no trouble.”

(They thanked me again and left smiling. I was smiling, too, when I turned back to my boyfriend, who was smiling at me with pride in his eyes. I told my mum later that day and she was proud, too. To those men, I know that there are not a lot of Asian men or women in the deaf community and it can be difficult but I’ll always do my best to help. You owe me nothing because you helped me decide for certain that I want to be a British sign language interpreter one day. I’ll get there, so thank you!)

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Barking Up The Wrong Sub Shop

, , , , | Friendly | February 20, 2020

(I’m in the break room at work when my friend comes in to eat lunch. She has picked up a sandwich from a local chain.)

Friend: “So annoying! I ordered online so it would be ready, but I ordered from the wrong store, apparently.”

Me: “That’s frustrating.”

Friend: “The worst part is that this one wouldn’t just make me my sandwich. They made me buy a new one even though I could show them that I had ordered and paid for one already!”

Me: “But you’re the one who ordered from the wrong store?”

Friend: “I know, but they still should’ve offered to give me a sandwich!”

Me: “It wasn’t their fault, though, and they might’ve gotten in trouble.”

Friend: “I know, but it would’ve been nice of them. Now I’m out $8!”

(I gave up trying to reason with her at that point. I don’t think she ever really understood why they didn’t give her a new sandwich even though it was her mistake.)

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What More Is There To Say?

, , , , | Friendly | February 19, 2020

(I’m talking with a friend.)

Friend: “That sure sucks for you.”

Me: “That’s life. C’est la vie.”

Friend: *pause* “La vee?”

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I Mean, If You Like Dents, Go For It

, , , , , | Friendly | February 18, 2020

(My boyfriend comes and brings me lunch on my break. Since it is a nice day, we decide to sit outside and enjoy some sunshine. We notice that a customer has let a cart start to roll across the parking lot, so my boyfriend decides to run and try to catch it.  Out of nowhere, a lady in a car starts speeding towards him and the cart.)

Lady: *mouthing something inaudible*

Boyfriend: *figuring she is irate about the loose cart* “Sorry, this isn’t mine; I was trying to catch it.”

Lady: *yelling out the window* “I was going to try to stop it with my car.”

Me: *facepalm*

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