As If Pregnancy Wasn’t Stressful Enough!

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | May 20, 2020

After a job contract is up, we’re moving back home from Honolulu to Seattle. My husband is wrapping up the last bit of work in Hawaii while I fly home with our two-and-eight-ninths kids. That is, I’m a couple of days away from being thirty-six weeks pregnant, nearing the end of the time airlines and obstetricians like pregnant women flying. I’m very excited to get back home.

But it seems like everything is working against it. Part of the highway is closed to film an episode of Hawaii 5-0. The line to check in is way longer than anticipated. And there’s a line to check that we’re not exporting exotic flora. And there’s a huge line for security. At the end of this line, I accidentally leave a carry-on bag, not realizing until I’m halfway to the gate, so I have to go back. And of course, my husband was unable to get a gate escort pass, so he can’t help.

I end up running as fast as an eight-month-pregnant woman can, pushing my two-year-old in a stroller laden with carry-on bags, dragging my four-year-old, both kids crying, my glasses slipping down my nose from sweat; it’s hot in Hawaii, and our trek includes an outdoor walkway. 

Fortunately, the plane crew knows we’ve checked in and a flight attendant is holding the door for us; they close it as soon as we’re through.

Out of breath and flushed, we make it to our seats, where the flight attendant and the passenger in the last of the four-seat middle row kindly help us stow our carry-ons and fold up the stroller. I notice the passenger’s eyes get big as he sees my obvious pregnancy bump.

“Don’t worry,” I reassure him. “I still have a month to go, and my older two weren’t early. I have no labor symptoms, even after running through the airport, and I really, really want to get back to the mainland. If I start labor, I’m crossing my legs until it’s too late to turn back.” His relief is palpable!

We make it back with no new passengers arriving, and a flight attendant even helps me from our arrival gate to baggage claim where my parents meet us. I get her name and let her supervisor know.

My youngest is born three weeks later, well after my husband has rejoined us.

1 Thumbs
305

A True Expert In Suxxitude

, , , , , , | Friendly | May 20, 2020

I post different pieces of artwork to various websites. Most of the time, I’m lucky to get five or six likes and maybe a couple of comments. However, one time, I woke up after having posted a sketch before going to bed, and I found that it had over 200 comments on it.

The first couple of comments were typical “Nice” or “Good Job” type of comments. However, one person had given the comment, “this sux”. Two minutes later, he’d then posted the comment, “hello?”, followed a minute after that with “this sux” again. He’d then proceeded to repeat “this sux” every couple of minutes for three straight hours.

This had, apparently, drawn the attention of other commenters, who had ended up splitting between telling me that it didn’t suck and directly mocking him and his stream of “criticism.” My favorite was a couple of people who went back and forth “agreeing” with him, talking about how the “suxxitude” of the piece had reached “terribad proportionisms,” and how it was reminiscent of the great “Suxxirian masters” of the past.

I ended up writing a post, saying, “Thank you for the critique.” Not even ten seconds after I hit the post button, he had replied with what must have been a copy-pasted rant about how he was allowed to have opinions, and how I needed to “suk it up and admti you sux”.

To this day, it is still the funniest “criticism” I’ve ever received.

1 Thumbs
346

You Can’t Put A Limit On Some People’s Kindness

, , , , , | Friendly | May 19, 2020

This isn’t a big thing, but it made my family and me smile.

With all of the health crisis stuff going around and the quarantine, people have been hoarding anything and everything. So, thanks to that, a lot of items have been limited.

When my mom and I went to get groceries earlier today, we were told that you could only get one bag of a “bread item” such as bagels. We usually get two as I like plain bagels and my sibling likes raisin ones.

So, not wanting to cause a fuss or make it so there won’t be enough bagels for someone else, we give it to the cashier to put back.

But the guy behind us, a cheery-looking man — as well as I can see with his mask on — with some gray hair says, “I’ll buy it for you, then.”

My mother immediately declines, thanking him profusely but saying there is no need. She had asked me if we really needed bagels when handing them to the cashier. I said we didn’t as we still had about three left. 

The guy persists and my mother explains that one of us likes the raisins and one of us likes the plain ones. 

After a bit more thanking and declining, we buy the rest of our groceries and get to our car to put them away in the back.

Then, randomly, the same guy pulls up in his car with the bagels! I am so surprised! For a while now, I have been reading about people doing these incredibly nice things for others but have not experienced it myself.

I have been feeling quite down during this trip to the grocery store because of the current situation our people are in.

When my mother asks the man why he bought the bagels for us, he says, “I couldn’t let this little girl—” I’m no longer a child but I’m only five feet tall. “—not have her bagels.”

After we thank him a couple more times, he drives off. 

It really gives me hope in these terrible times, and I hope that sharing this story here will inspire more acts like this in the future.

1 Thumbs
326

Slippers, Sneakers, And Tighty-Whities Are Next

, , , , | Friendly | May 18, 2020

My husband and I have just bought our first home and moved in with our kitty. It is the peak of summer and we are getting him used to the new house before letting him hang out in the yard, so he has not been outside to explore yet. He seems pretty keen on it; he was an apartment kitty before and now we live on a street with only four houses and almost zero traffic. He is a very distinctive white cat with brown socks and brown ear tips.

Once the weather cools down and he is used to the house, I take our kitty out to the back deck and plonk him down, which he responds to by rolling in the grass and sniffing a tree before curling up in the garden bed to nap. I sit outside with him for a bit and then go inside to get a drink. When I come back, I think I am seeing things. There are TWO of him!

An identical cat is perched on the fence leading to my neighbor’s house, and they are holding a staring contest. I go to scoop up my cat when a woman around my age pops her head over the fence.

Neighbor: “Hello! You must be— Oh!” 

She spots my boy in my arms and looks back and forth from him to her cat, who is now purring and headbutting her.

Neighbor: “Well, I’m [Neighbor], and we apparently have twin cats.”

Me: *Laughing* “I’m [My Name], and this is Scarf!”

My neighbor cracks up laughing so hard she nearly falls off of the fence. I’m used to people laughing at Scarf’s name, but she finally stops laughing and picks up her cat.

Neighbor: “This is Pants!”

We both laughed a lot that afternoon, joking about how we needed some more cats to complete the outfit — which did happen a few months ago when they got a kitten named Socks! — and made sure we didn’t own any of the same collars so we could tell them apart.

As I type this, Pants has let himself in through the cat door to loaf around on Scarf’s cat tree. They are both getting older but are firm friends, just like our neighbor is for us. Matching cats are a great icebreaker!

1 Thumbs
678

Free T-Shirts From Azz-eroth

, , , , | Friendly | May 18, 2020

The online game I play had a meetup recently. It cost $20, all of which was donated to charity and you got swag, one of which was a T-shirt with the game logo on the front and your game login across the back.

In the game forum, one of the players asks:

Player: “Does it have to be the login?”

Me: “Why?”

Player: “Read my login.”

It was posted by “RancidDogFart.”

1 Thumbs
244