AFAB Versus WWJD

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | November 28, 2019

(I am AFAB — assigned female at birth — and go by she/they pronouns. I am spending the day with a genderfluid AFAB friend. We’re on a popular shopping street in Brisbane and are waiting for the lights to change before crossing to the bus station. On the other side of the street, a man is standing on a literal soapbox, quoting Bible verses about sin and how everyone around him will be condemned to Hell.)

Friend: “Gimme your hand.”

(We cross the street hand in hand, and the man grows louder as he sees us pass by.)

Friend: “Hang on.”

(They stopped on the sidewalk and kissed me on the cheek, right in front of the man. Someone actually audibly gasped, and another person tried to hand them a Jesus pamphlet. We walked the rest of the way to the bus hand in hand.)

1 Thumbs
319

Y’all Gotta Be Kidding

, , , , | Friendly | November 27, 2019

(I’m in my office when this older couple from the Great Lakes region comes in asking for directions.)

Me: *finishes drawing map*

Man: “Thank you, miss. We appreciate your help.”

Me: “Don’t mention it! Y’all enjoy the rest of your day.”

Woman: *confused* “What did you just say?”

Me: *afraid I’ve broken some obscure midwestern taboo* “Y’all enjoy your day?”

Woman: “Huh.” *to the man* “I didn’t know they actually said that down here. I thought it was just made up for movies.”

1 Thumbs
293

That Tattoo Should Say, “Look, Don’t Touch”

, , , , , | Friendly | November 26, 2019

(My friend and I are killing time wandering through a local “farmer’s market”-style setup that also has some booths selling art, jewelry, and things of that sort. We stop to admire the crafts and trinkets being offered by one booth and the seller comes over to greet us. It’s worth noting here that I have several tattoos, including song lyrics on my upper left arm. I’m quite used to people asking to read what the tattoo says and will happily turn my arm so they can get a better view. This lady, however, takes a more… direct approach.) 

Seller: *seeing my tattoo* “Oh, let me see!”

(She then GRABBED my arm and twisted it toward her, holding onto it hard enough that I’m not entirely confident I could’ve yanked it out of her grip if I’d tried. As it was, though, I was shocked enough that I just froze until she’d finished reading the text and let me go. My friend and I made a hasty retreat to another booth after that. The most surprising thing is that the seller had tattoos and piercings herself, so you’d think she’d be familiar with the tattoo etiquette of ASKING before touching someone else’s tattoos. Or, you know, the general nicety of asking before touching someone at all, ever.)

1 Thumbs
321

Yogi Bear Had It Better Than Yugo(slavia) Bear

, , , , | Friendly | November 25, 2019

(My mom has been going to the same hairstylist for years. The stylist is from the Balkans and still has family there. They know quite a lot about each other’s lives, but every now and then they surprise each other. Easter is around the corner, so the conversation turns to food.)

Mom: “We are making perogies this year for the entire family. It takes a lot of work, but they taste way better than store-bought.”

Stylist: “Oh, yes, we make them, too. They are like perogies, but a bit different.”

Mom: “Oh? What do you stuff them with, cheese?”

Stylist: “Sometimes, but usually we would stuff them with beer.”

Mom: *confused* “How do you do that? Fry them in beer?”

Stylist: “No! Beer! You know, grr!” *raises her hands, imitating claws*

Mom: “Oh, bear. Wait, with bear?!

Stylist: “It’s pretty good, and means one less bear looking for Easter dinner!”

(The stylist’s family was apparently much more rural than we thought.)

1 Thumbs
416

To Be Fair, That Sounds Like A Prom We’d All Enjoy

, , , , , | Friendly | November 24, 2019

(I’m talking with friends, one of whom is new to our group. I’m asexual and end up mentioning it.)

New Friend: “Wait, you’re ace?!”

Me: *thinking that he knew this already* “Yes?”

New Friend: “How did I not know this?!”

Me: “Where did you think my talking about wanting to go to prom with a stuffed animal in a bow tie came from?”

(He was supportive once he got over his initial surprise.)

1 Thumbs
272