The Shanghai Express To Berlin

, , , , , | Learning | January 7, 2020

(A student, a well-dressed woman who appears to be in her fifties, approaches our circulation desk.)

Woman: “I need information about this German woman, her name is Marlene something…”

Me: “Marlene Dietrich?”

(I’m a bit surprised, though, as this college doesn’t teach anything related to cinema.)

Woman: “No, actually, not Marlene, maybe something like Mark…”

Me: “Angela Merkel?”

Woman: “Yes!”

1 Thumbs
273

Judge Me By My Size, Do You?

, , , , , | Learning | January 5, 2020

When I was in the third year in high school, a Muay Thai group gave a special presentation on our sport orientation day. Along with two other guys from my school, I found them exciting and cheap enough to try and join. This group was mostly made up of legal adults, soldiers, and police, in fact, but they were accommodating enough. All three of us could join from next week. 

The club had training thrice a week, two hours. The other two from my school guys were a year older than me, and a lot bigger; the difference was mostly made up of fat, but it was still enough that they could bully me.

We started training; the first two lessons, despite the other two pestering me, were good. Then, the third time came.

This was the first time a girl came into the studio. She was tiny, maybe 90 pounds, and five feet tall. She looked like she was around our age, with spiky short hair and a suit and boots. I thought it was strange, but the group behaved as if they knew her, so I didn’t dare to say anything. The other two guys from my school started catcalling her, though, which got ignored. The girl simply changed into training clothes, and we started the lesson.

My schoolmates were pestering her, the only girl in the class, giving her advice on basics and telling her this was a manly sport; she never answered, just concentrated on breathing. She took a break twice, in fact, prompted by the coach, once using an inhaler. Then, at the body touch exercise, those other two guys crossed a line; they were quite blatant about trying to grope the girl. She mostly just evaded, and as she never said anything, just like any of the guys, my schoolmates started to get braver and braver, harassing the girl.

Then came the fighting part. The coach said, “Okay, [Boy #1], [Boy #2], [My Name], get into the ring with [Girl]. She is a beginner just like you. One by one matches, two minutes, everyone goes a round against [Girl]. Keep to the rules.”

The boys started leering, and I started to get a bad feeling. I let the other guys go before me, and the coach went over the hits with me… I don’t exactly know what happened, but only maybe half a minute passed with the sound of hits, then a loud bam! I looked up, and the bigger bully was on his back, gasping for breath, the girl apologising with a grin. She had somehow knocked out the guy twice her size in half a minute!

The second bully only lasted the same time against the girl before he fled the ring. I was the last, and I went down even faster. I was trembling the whole time! It was surreal! I could barely believe how easily she’d knocked those two out! The tiny girl was not even so tiny; she was well over 110 pounds, it turned out, merely thin.

The other two guys didn’t come next week. I did, and I lasted until I left for university.

And that is how I met the woman who inspired me to get into disaster management. She was actually well over thirty, and started Muay Thai training a year before. She had some kind of lung damage from the job, but it turned out not to diminish her fighting prowess. While she couldn’t keep up against the coaches or the prizefighters training there, she could sure kick the a**es of three newbies!

1 Thumbs
535

Little Miss Distraction

, , , , , | Learning | January 3, 2020

(When my mother is a student teacher, her professor comes in to observe her teaching. For some reason, she brings her teenage daughter with her. Afterward, the professor discusses the lesson with my mother.)

Professor: “I’m afraid I’m going to have to mark you down for classroom management. A lot of the boys seemed distracted during the lesson.”

Mom: “You brought your daughter with you.”

Professor: “Yes, her school isn’t in session today.”

Mom: “Your cute teenage daughter.”

Professor: “Yes?”

Mom: “Who sat in the front of the room the whole time.”

Professor: “Wait, are you saying that’s why the boys were distracted?”

Mom: “Quite possibly.”

1 Thumbs
584

Kid Needs A Dressing Down

, , , | Learning | December 30, 2019

(I’ve been working as an intern for a kindergarten for a while, doing pretty simple tasks that don’t require a lot of responsibility, like playing with the kids and helping them with different tasks. We’re getting the kids ready for going outside, and I’m helping them get dressed. I don’t know quite yet what each kid can and can’t do. H***, I hardly know all of their names! I am helping one kid get dressed, putting on their winter clothes and such. My hair is an unusual colour, and a lot of kids have already commented on — and questioned — it.)

Me: *bend down to help a kid* “Okay, put your leg here!”

Kid: *reaches over to ruffle my hair*

(I help them get almost fully dressed, when one of the elder adults notices us.)

Adult: “Oh, [Kid] is tricking you now.” *smiling* “They’re an expert at dressing themselves.”

Me: *turns to look at the kid*

Kid: *most smug look I’ve seen on a four-year-old*

(Later, I put two and two together, and realized they probably just wanted to touch my hair! That was one sneaky kid.)

1 Thumbs
361

Music Grants Humanity

, , , , , | Learning | December 28, 2019

(We are in choir class going over new music. The teacher asks what language it is in.)

Half The Class: “English.”

Me: *halfway through* “Human.”

(I began to turn red. Everyone laughed, and now I am never going to live it down.)

1 Thumbs
224