Roll Call Is Not Their Calling

, , , | Learning | June 23, 2017

(During my first years of high school, I am in a very large class where several students have the same first name. For instance, there were two Lauras, two Lisas, several other name-pairs, and three boys that shared the same first name. Understandably, teachers get confused a lot, and the following situation occurred more than once when a teacher hands back graded work:)

Teacher: “[Girl’s Name].”

Class: *as one* “Which one?”

Teacher: “[Last Name #1]. [Boy’s Name].”

Class: “Which one?”

Teacher: “[Last Name #2].” *a few other names without problems* “[Same Boy’s Name].”

Class: “Which one?”

Teacher: “Well, the other one.”

Class: “Which one? There’s three of ’em.”

Teacher: “Oh, for Pete’s sake, [Last Name #3]!”

It’s Not Your Imagination

, , , | Learning | June 19, 2017

(I work for a daycare centre. I am saying goodbye to the children before we close, when a young boy asks me a question.)

Boy: “Can I bring my dog tomorrow?”

Me: “Sorry, but we aren’t allowed pets.”

Boy: “What about imaginary?”

Me: “Oh, imaginary is fine!”

(His face lights up and I say I’m looking forward to meeting his dog. The morning after, the owner comes into the office where I am printing the register for the day.)

Owner: “Did you tell the kids yesterday that they could bring pets?”

Me: “No— Oh, there was one boy who wanted to bring an imaginary dog.”

Owner: “[Boy]? Well he’s brought a REAL dog.”

(I follow the owner out and see a bunch of children playing with a border terrier puppy.)

Boy: “Miss, come see!”

(I walk over and pet the pup. It’s seems perfectly content.)

Me: “I thought you said you had an imaginary dog?”

Boy: “I do!”

(I look at him and then his father, who looks rather amused. The owner then tries to convince the boy that he’s wrong, with the boy adamant that he’s right. Then the thought hits me.)

Me: “May I?”

(I pick up the pup and check its nametag. I’m actually silenced by the revelation and show the owner. She looks equally as stunned before laughing hysterically. The dad then owns up and admits he wanted to see our reaction before taking the dog home. The owner was impressed enough that she decided to let it stay as long as the other parents were ok with it. A couple weren’t pleased, but after seeing how happy their children were, decided to go with it. So Imaginary the dog got to spend the day with us.)

Needed For A Very Testing Shift

, , , , | Learning | June 16, 2017

(My first job as a teenager was front line and baker of a famous Canadian coffee house that was branded with a major tourist company that does highway convenience, airports, hotels, etc. Since I was only 15-18 when I was working there, I had to rely on my mother to drive me in and pick me up since I didn’t get my G2 driver’s license until college. I was only available weekends since I had dance classes during the week, but my managers and supervisors would look over this fact and would proceed to call me during class times almost every week. This happens during a math test where my teacher has had enough. Side note: I had my ringer on due to a family emergency and my teacher knew of this.)

Classroom: *silent*

(Cue Irish Rock to begin blaring from my hoodie pocket.)

Teacher: “Go ahead, [My Name]. You can finish your test at a later date.”

Me: *checks phone to see if it is [Family Member] and my caller display is saying [Work]* “Uh, it’s work.”

Teacher: “Are you serious? Give it to me.” *hands over phone, with my teacher now speaking to my manager* “Yes, hello! You’ve reached [My Name]’s cell phone. No, you may not. She’s taking a test. Well, I’m not letting you talk to her. Why? Again, she’s taking a test and you disrupted the rest of the classroom. Yes, you’d better apologize. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to speak to [My Name] about how you’re constantly calling her to come into work at short notice. She doesn’t drive, and is currently in second period. She has classes until 2:30 and club activities right after. If she receives another call during the day like this again, I will be reporting you to your superiors for your incompetence in understanding your employee’s schedule. It not a threat; this is a promise. All of her teachers are quite annoyed with this habit you’ve created. Now break it and leave the girl alone during the weekday. Goodbye.” *hangs up and passes my phone back* “Put your pencils down everyone. We’re going outside to let off some steam; AKA, I need to run this off!”

(When I went into work that Saturday, they apologized and asked me to give my teachers some gift cards for disrupting them.)

This Teacher Is A Sleeper Hit

, , , , , | Learning | June 13, 2017

(I’m in one of those “smart people” magnet programs. As a result, I spend three classes a day with the same people, and as part of my magnet program, I have a required three classes that everyone else in the program takes as well. It’s the end of the school year and we’re meeting one of our teachers for the next year.)

Teacher: “No sleeping in my class. If you do, you have to do it in the proper posture, with your back leaning against the back of your chair, your head back, and your mouth open. I’ll also be trying to see how many paper clips I can throw in there. I doubt any of you would be able to sleep through my class.”

Me: *being a known sleeper with a reputation for being able to pass out in the weirdest positions* “Challenge accepted.”

It’s A Family Affair

, , , , , | Learning | June 13, 2017

(I am riding the bus on the way home from school when I happen to hear this from a few seats behind me.)

Classmate #1: *pointing out the window at a high school girl* “Wow, look at her! Do you think she’s a prostitute?”

Classmate #2: “That’s my sister!”

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