Saying It Just For The Devil Of It

, , , , , , | Learning | November 11, 2019

(My anatomy class tends to get off topic sometimes. We talk about everything from famous people to how our day was. Today is a little different, courtesy of a girl on the other side of the class. We have started talking about religion, sharing random facts about it. [Student #1] puts her two cents in.)

Student #1: “I’m Catholic, as you know by now. And if you have not, or do not go to church, you are devil worshipers.”

(She says this without any hesitation. The whole class just stares.)

Student #2: “That’s a bit harsh.”

Student #1: “I don’t mean like y’all are going to Hell. But that’s what the devil does. He doesn’t go to church. So you follow him. That’s why you don’t go to church.”

(Everyone in our cultural rainbow glory of peers just stared. Even the die-hard Catholics were sitting there with “WTF” looks. Each to their own opinion, but seriously.)

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Shattering The Glass And The Illusion

, , , , , | Learning | November 9, 2019

(I attend a career event with a specialty lab program for high school students and as a second-year, we do individual labs. Our sterile hoods are in a separate area and are quite loud. One of my classmates and I are prepping our hoods while another is in the main lab with our teacher. Glass shatters loud enough for us to hear in the hood room. [Male Classmate] and I look over at each other but continue on with our lab. [Female Classmate] comes in, obviously shaken.)

Female Classmate: “[Teacher] just cussed.”

([Male Classmate] and I are confused, as our teacher is a woman who doesn’t even say “darn” most of the time.)

Me: “What’d you do?”

Female Classmate: “I dropped a beaker.”

Teacher: *entering room* “She dropped it next to my head.”

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Undermined By Underwear

, , , , , , | Learning | November 7, 2019

(I work as a part-time tutor because I need some extra cash and I enjoy working with children. This evening, I am working with a ten-year-old girl who is known to be very bubbly and intelligent. She also tends to be very talkative and I doubt she has ever had a thought she has not vocalized. I am helping her through her study packet when, out of the blue, she says this.)

Girl: “I’m not wearing underwear!”

Me: “W… What?!”

Girl: *giggling* “I don’t have any underwear!”

Me: *takes a moment to process this bizarre declaration* “Uh… yes, you are?”

Girl: “Nuh-uh!”

Me: “Yes, you are.”

Girl: “How do you know?”

Me: “Because you’re wearing leggings and your panties show through them.”

Girl: *sheepish at being caught in a lie* “Oh…”

Me: “Now, stop making up silly things and let’s finish your work.”

(We finish the session without further incident and I think nothing more about it, save for chuckling a couple of times at how odd it is. The next time I come into work, the assistant director asks to speak with me.)

Assistant Director: “I got a very strange report about your conduct from another teacher.” *looks more perplexed than concerned* “She said you were discussing inappropriate topics with your student and… and that you are a peodophile? Something about talking about the underwear she was wearing?”

(I stammer dumbfounded at such accusations, but then I explain to him the full story.)

Assistant Director: *chuckling* “That sounds like something [Girl] would say. I’ll have a talk with the accuser. This is an extremely serious accusation to make for such trivial reasons.”

(I worked with my assigned student that night without incident. There was only one other tutor with me on the floor the night in question, so I knew who must have made the report. I am not sure what was said to her, but she refused to make eye-contact the rest of my time there. There’s a good reason men are under-represented in the field of childhood education. It is far too easy to ruin someone’s life with false accusations. Think before you report!)

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Marshalling Kids Is Harder Than Catching Criminals

, , , , , | Learning | November 5, 2019

(I’m the kid of a federal defense attorney, and my dad signed me up for a take-your-kid-to-work day event, which takes kids whose parents are employed by the government in the judicial branch and helps them learn all about court, complete with some lectures, sentencing, mock trial, and court marshall activities. We’re on the court marshall activity, and keep in mind that I’m pretty small, especially my wrists. One court marshal asks for a volunteer for a demonstration, and I eagerly raise my hand and he picks me.)

Marshall: “So, we’re going to be showing you how we handcuff people now, with our lovely volunteer.”

(He goes through all the steps and fastens the handcuffs, but I quickly notice they aren’t made for children, so if I squeeze very hard, I can get them off. I hold the cuffs with one hand in front of me while the marshall continues to talk, one hand on my shoulder to demonstrate that you should not let go once they are handcuffed. The other kids start to giggle, noticing I got out.)

Marshall: “What’s so funny?”

Random Kid: “She’s escaping!”

(The marshall looks back at me in surprise.)

Marshall: “Well, I guess you’ve demonstrated the need to keep your eyes on the person you’re handcuffing!”

(Later, on a different activity, he started to teach me a move on how to use my small size to my advantage. He was a pretty awesome guy, especially as a volunteer!)

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Battle Of The Band

, , , , , | Learning | November 3, 2019

When doing group assignments in school, at any level, there is often someone who just doesn’t do their share. But this one takes the cake, and possibly the whole dessert tray, as well. 

It started out as a pretty normal group assignment: make a group of three or four people, exchange contact info, turn it in by the assigned date. I end up with the two people sitting closest to me and we start working out what times and days we can meet to work, and this guy walks over and announces that he will be joining our group. He seems to think we should be grateful about this for some reason. He also keeps talking over the rest of us, condescendingly explaining how he thinks we should do the project, and completely ignoring that we are just trying to exchange contact info and make plans to meet another time as we only have a few minutes before class is over. We finally get his contact info, he says he has everyone else’s info, and we plan to meet on campus on Saturday. So far so good.

Saturday comes. Everybody but the one guy shows up at the right spot, at the right time, and we wait. We call his number, no answer. We wait some more. We call again, and again. Forty minutes later, we give up and get to work. About an hour after that, as we wrap up for this week and are planning what day and time next week to meet again, he calls. He’s mad we didn’t wait for him. 

He says he was up late the night before, and that we “should have called and reminded him or rescheduled.” Apparently, he was in a band, and it wasn’t his fault at all that he forgot and overslept, but it was somehow our responsibility to make sure he got to the group meetings.

The next class day, he could not understand why we asked the teacher to remove him from our group. The teacher, after hearing both sides of the story — the guy’s version was that we were all “just b******, anyway” — very quickly agreed to our request.

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