His Presentation Is Going Under

, , , , | Learning | August 19, 2017

During my freshman year of college, another freshman on campus convinces everyone he is from Australia. He speaks with an accent and everything.

This goes on for almost about a month and a half. He is in Communications 101 that semester, and one of the first speeches you have to give in that class is an informative speech about yourself.

His, I was told later, started out like this: “Well, first of all, I’m not Australian…”

Should Have Noted Their Age

, , | Learning | August 16, 2017

(It is the day after my 18th birthday. I have taken the day off from school to celebrate. If we are absent from school we need to bring in a note from our parents or other legal guardian.)

Homeroom Teacher: “[My Name], do you have a note from home?”

Me: “Sorry. Just a moment.”

(I quickly write a note at my desk stating “I was sick yesterday. Signed, [My Name].”)

Homeroom Teacher: “It’s supposed to be a note from home!”

Me: “I’m 18. I’m legally an adult. I can write my own notes now.”

Homeroom Teacher: “But it’s supposed to be from home!”

Me: “Well, I could go to my locker, write the note, and tell you I brought it from home. Would that work?”

(Apparently most students hadn’t realized that they could do this once they turned eighteen. And by making a big deal of it in front of the entire class my teacher caused it to go public, leading to a rise in absences for the rest of the school year.)

Russian Coffee

, , , | Learning | August 10, 2017

(A few classmates and I are sitting in a classroom waiting for our lecturer. It’s a small early morning class. A cold front has just passed by and brought cold, rainy weather. The building we’re in is cool at the best of times and has no heating, which is common for buildings here since it’s so rarely needed. Needless to say, we’re all feeling a bit miserable. Suddenly, one classmate pipes up:)

Classmate: “You know, I brought a flask of vodka. That could come in handy right about now.”

(We’re all jokingly discussing how to distribute it among ourselves and have settled on adding it to coffee when the lecturer walks in. He’s caught the tail end of the conversation.)

Lecturer: “Vodka? At this time of the morning? In my class? Are you alcoholics?”

Classmate: “Not in class… and we’d be adding it to coffee. It’s just to warm up.”

Lecturer: “Do it now, on one condition: make me one as well.”

(And that’s how we ended up drinking in class…)

Both Sound Inappropriate

, , , , | Learning | August 9, 2017

(We are talking about low-level disruption, largely because the teachers are sick of it.)

Teacher: “Off-topic discussions, teachers stroke students—”

Student: “Teachers stroke students?”

(The class laughs.)

Teacher: “Teachers SLASH students.”

Me: “Teachers slash students?”

(Now that was an off-topic discussion.)

Designing A Bad Interaction

, , , | Learning | August 2, 2017

(At my university, there are regularly events where different companies can come and students can inform themselves, e.g. to find a place for an internship or to see if they’d like to start working there. It’s only my second semester, so I’m really just informing myself and not looking for an internship yet. I study media informatics, which is basically a cross between computer sciences like programming and media design with more artsy subjects.)

Me: “Um, hi. Could you tell me a bit about your company? I’m studying media informatics and would like to know if I could work there.”

Worker: “Hmm, sorry, but we don’t really need someone with design.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, media informatics also has programming though?”

Worker: “No, sorry. Maybe in marketing, but I doubt it. We do have an IT department, but we need programmers, not designers.”

Me: “Well, in the higher semesters, we can decide to mostly focus on programming, like normal computer sciences.”

Worker: “As I said, maybe in marketing, but we don’t really need designers.”

Me: “I’m planning to focus on programming, though, not design.”

Worker: “Oh, hmm, I don’t know. Maybe. You can take a brochure with you, but I kind of doubt it.”

Me: “Okay… thanks anyway.”

(Please, if you’re there to inform students, actually LISTEN to what they tell you they do! Because that’s now definitely a company I won’t want to work for, be it IT or marketing.)

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